 J-E-L-L-O! The Jell-O program starring Jack Benny with Mary Livingston and Phil Harris and his orchestra. The orchestra opens a program with Cry Baby Cry. This is the day of the Easter parade and there's a cheerful feeling in the air. Perky new hats, gay flowers, everything reflects the spirit of Carefree Spring. It's a day of color and if you served Jell-O for your Easter dessert, you were right in the spirit of things. For a shimmering mold of bright, clear Jell-O is mighty gay and cheerful. The glowing reds of strawberry, raspberry or cherry Jell-O, shiny orange, golden lemon or sea green lime, you have a regular rainbow to choose from. And no matter which flavor you select, you're short of a masterpiece. For Jell-O, tastes as good as it looks. It's crammed with delicious, extra rich fruit flavor. The flavor from fresh ripe fruit. It's put there by a special process. It's sealed right in so it can't get out. It's caught and held for you to enjoy the minute you taste a shimmering spoonful. A delight to the eye and a thrill to the taste. That's Jell-O. But be absolutely sure you do get genuine Jell-O with that extra rich fruit flavor. Look for the big red letters on the box. They spell Jell-O. Cry Baby Cry played by the orchestra. Now, ladies and gentlemen, we bring you a man who is celebrating Easter with a new suit, new shirt, new tie and new shoes that squeak, Jack Benny. Jell-O again, this is Jack Benny who is also looking for a new announcer. And listen, Don, it was nice of you to mention my Easter outfit, but it so happens that my shoes do not squeak. They might chirp a little because they're happy. But they do not squeak. By Jack, I heard you when you came into the studio. You sounded like a rusty bear sign in the wind. Now, Don, every new shoe has a little something to say, but I repeat, mine do not squeak. All right, then just walk around the microphone and see what happens. Okay, Smartie. Well, what do you think of your shoes now? Well, naturally, they're a little nervous. It's the first time they've ever been on the air. But say, Don, you're kind of dolled up for Easter yourself. That's a nice-looking suit you're wearing. Well, thanks, Jack. I just bought it last week. It's very snappy. Where'd you get it? Well, the arch-afternoon marks made the pants. The arch-afternoon marks. I knew it wasn't a one-man job. Did they... Did they make the coat, too? Well, Jack, they put in a bid on it, but I finally awarded the contract to the Tri-State Construction Company. Oh, yes, they also did the Boulder Dam. Something big. Say, Don, come here a minute. Look at Phil standing over there. Isn't it disgraceful the way he comes dressed on a holiday? Well, it isn't very good taste. Come here, Phil. What is it, Jack? You want to know a funny thing? Here I bother to get all dressed up for Easter with a new suit and shoes and spend hours fixing myself up. And you come to the studio with slacks and old sport coat and no necktie. Yeah, and you want to know another funny thing? What? I still look better than you do. You do not. And I'll leave it to anyone here. In fact, I'll leave it to the boys in your band, which of us is dressed better for Easter. I know they tried to buy firecrackers today. Well, that's a nice organization you've got. Don't tell me they all thought today was the 4th of July. Oh, the drummer held out for St. Patrick's Day. Oh, yes, I see the shamrock on the symbol. Well, Phil, your boys might be mixed up about holidays, but when it comes to music, they're mixed up. Oh, hello, Mary. Hello, Jack. Happy Easter. Thanks. Same to you, kid. Gee, you look so cute in the Easter parade this morning, all dressed up in your new spring suit. Oh, I wasn't out there to show off or anything. I like to walk down the boulevard on Easter. Everybody does it. So you're in the parade this morning, huh, Jack? I certainly was. You should have seen him fellow strutting along with a cane on his hand and a flower in his hotel, and he was wearing the swellest derby hat. Oh, Mary. Way down over his ears. Well, it was a little too big. I bought it before I got my hair cut like a darn fool. And you should have seen that funny double-breasted suit he was wearing. Well, what was wrong with it? That coat fit me like a dummy in a window. Well, you should have stayed there. Well, after all, Mary, I don't have to spend a fortune for a little Easter outfit. You're right, Jack. Tell him what happened on the boulevard this morning. Never mind that. What was it, Mary? Well, Jack was strutting along in his new suit proud as a peacock. I was just walking. Go ahead, Mary. Well... Oh, you're silly. Well, he was walking along and all of a sudden a man behind him sneezed. He sneezed, eh? And then what happened? Jack's coat shrunk four inches. Oh, well... Is that right, Jack? Yeah, before I could say gazuntite, I was nearly strangled. Anyway, what if I did shrink a little? Who cares? Oh, Jack. Oh, hello, Kenny. Come here a minute, will you? What is it? Well, come over here. It's important. I can imagine. Okay. Oh, darn these shoes. Hey, what's that noise? A squeak at Oxford. All right. Now, what is it, Kenny? Well, I did something last week and I don't know whether I ought to tell you. Well, you called me over here, didn't you? Well, if I tell you, will you promise you won't fire me for it? Yes, I promise. What did you do? Well, I listened to Fred Allen Wednesday night. Oh, you mean the guy that wears flower sacks, candies? Well, Kenny, I don't care who you listen to. I heard Fred Allen, too, Jack. And the way he ran you down, you ought to do something about it. Well, I'll admit, he is a bit of a nuisance, but what can I do? Why don't you have him bumped off? Bumped off? You know, I'll take him for a drive. Drive, you mean ride. Take him for a drive. Well, you ought to do something about it. Allen keeps saying you're cheap all the time. Oh, he does, eh? Well, he's got a lot of nerve to talk about me. Any man that'll open a can of sardines, eat them, and then save the tails for hash. Well... Glad I didn't blow that line, too. Don't tell me about that guy. He had another thing. He said your toupee didn't fit. Now, that's a big lie, because I don't even wear one. Mary, look at the top of my head. What do you see there? A parking lot. Well, let's forget my head now and everything else. Go ahead and sing your song, Kenny. Okay. Oh, Jack, wait a minute. I just thought of something awful. What's that? Here it is, Easter, and I forgot to write a poem. Well, Mary, what will people think? Now, you go ahead and write one while Kenny sings, and work hard on it. Oh, her and her old poems. Oh, yeah? You and your old song. Well, my songs are better than your poems. Now, children! Children! Sing, Kenny. Oh, me and my new shoes. I'm sorry I tore up that guarantee. La bella senorita. She'd love to sing it too, if only she knew. Oh, she may try to hide it. She cannot deny. There's a lie. Her smile. Oh, beguile. Don Diego. That he rode a mile for the char. It's oh, but so sweet like my chickita. You're the one for me. Donkey Sarenade from the Firefly, sung by Kenny Baker. Hmm, Donkey Sarenade. It's kind of a silly title, isn't it, Kenny? Silly? Sure. After all, who would Sarenade a donkey? A jackass, Jack. Well... Hey, that's... That's right, come to think of it. Hey, Mary, are you coming along with your poem? I need... Well, hurry it up. We haven't got anything to do here. Oh, we haven't, eh? Well, ladies and gentlemen, while you're waiting for Miss Livingston's poem, why don't you skip out in your kitchen and prepare a dish of jello. It's tempting, easy to make, and comes in six delicious flavors. I'm all finished, Don. Well, I'm not. Strawberry, raspberry, cherry, orange, lemon, and lime. Look for the big red letters on the box. Oh, happy Easter, happy Easter. Well, wait a minute, Mary, wait a minute. Take it easy. Now, what's the name of your poem? Easter Greetings by Mary O. Livingston. Now, what's the O for? Oh, happy Easter, happy Easter. Hmm. You are with us once again. With your Easter eggs so tempting, some are candy, some are hen. Well... Well, that makes sense. Boys and girls all dressed up pretty, parade the streets in every city, and all show off their Easter stuff, even though it's on the cusp. Now, that's a little too personal, I think, Mary. I like to smell your Easter lilies. Your hot cross buns I love to tackle. Your rabbits all lay eggs, they say. But gee, I never heard one cackle. Cackle, tackle. Now, that's just loony. Say, Jack, did Longfellow work with a stooge? No. Then keep still. A last word. That's good. So I salute you, happy Easter, with one hip hip and two hurrahs. Until you come next year to greet us, I say farewell. The end. Applaud. You've got a nice hand there, Mary, but you asked for it. Do you think that's ethical? No, but it's sure. Oh, yeah. When you've got something there, there's nothing like going after it yourself. Well, say, Jack, yes, Phil. What are we stalling for? When are we going to do something interesting? Well, Phil, we're doing the best we can. If it's dull here, why don't you pick up your orchestra and go home? That's what I say. Thanks, Kenny, and mind your own business. He always comes to at the wrong time. What I meant, Jack, are we going to do a play tonight? No, Phil. We don't have to do a play every Sunday night. What is it, a stock company? No, but I just thought we ought to. Well, putting on a play week after week is no picnic, you know. People seem to like them. Yes, but gee whiz, do you think it's easy? Do you think it's necessary? It's none of my business. I'm talking to Phil, Kenneth. Anyway, fellas, I'll tell you what I've planned to do and it's a surprise. We're going to cut the program short tonight and I'm going to treat you all to the LG Barn Sales Floto Circus. Now, what do you think of that? Oh, that's right. That's the answer. Now, remember, fellas, remember, it's my treat. A man gave me five passes for tonight's show. Passes? How'd you get them? Well, I've got a friend with the circus and besides, I let him put posters up all over my new house, you know. I won't be moving in for quite a while, you know. Say, Jack, you know, I happened to drive by your new house last night. It's coming along fine, isn't it? Yeah, and you notice all those circus posters with lines and snakes and zebras all over them? Yes, sir. I threw my jug right out the window. Oh, you did. Well, tonight, you're invited to see the real thing. We'll have a lot of fun, too. I'm terribly sorry, Jack. I'd love to go, but I got a blind date tonight. Oh, you and your blind date? Well, I guess you're stuck, Phil. How about going now, fellas? We'll just about make it. Oh, sir, I just made a hurry. I don't want to be late. Wait a minute. Come in. Well? Hiya, fuck. Well, hello, Andy. Say, you're just in time. We're all going to the circus and I got a pass for you, too. You want to come along? Sure, buck. I got an aunt with that show. She's the bearded lady. Your aunt? How did she happen to become a bearded lady? Oh, she just got tired of shaving one day. Oh, well, come on. Let's go. Oh, by the way, Andy, I meant to ask you. Did your paw by that airplane you were telling me about? Oh, sure. He's been flying around in it all week. Already? Say, he's learning fast, isn't he? Yeah, too fast. Yesterday he was back as in a loop-to-loop and he fell out. Oh, that's terrible. That's the lucky thing he had on a parachute. Well, I'll say it was lucky. Too bad he forgot to open it. What? My goodness, he fell right down to the ground. He must have hit it pretty hard. I'll say he did. He swallowed his chew in the back. Well, I'm glad it was nothing more serious. Come on, Jack, let's go. All right, wait. Let's see if I've got the passes. Yeah, we're all set. Come on, fellas. Oh, boy, John, my way. Hey, Phil. Hey, Phil, take care of the show from now on. Okay. Well, fellas, let's play the next number and go home. What do we play? Oh, anything. Squeaky shoes won't know the difference. You ready, boys? Wait a minute. Hold everything. Come in. Mr. Harris? Yes. Have you got a blind date tonight? Yes, I have. But don't keep Mama out late. Goodbye. All right, all right, boys. Play slow. I'm in no hurry. It's a big crowd, so everybody stick close to me. We've got a little time to kill before the big show goes on. But what do we do first? I want to see the elephant. I want to get my girl's name tattooed on my chest. What's her name, Kenny? Genevieve Carton-Borgon Pepper. You'd better get another girl or a bigger chest. It's a fine name. Where's the fat lady? I'd like to see her. She'd like to see you, too. Hey, she'd go for you. Oh, Jack, look at the India rubber man over there. Oh, yes. Hey, that is the India rubber man. He must have a cold. A cold? Why? He just had his nose in a knot. Say, I must try that sometime. It'll save handkerchiefs. Hey, fellas, get a load of the Wild Man of Barneo. Look at him there in that cage. He's a tough-looking mug. Let's go over and talk to him. Cool, cool, cool, cool. Oh, boy, he is ferocious. Hello, Wild Man. Tell me, tell me, what makes you so wild? It's Town Hall tonight. Well, I can understand that. Balloons, balloons. Get them out of there blowing up. Balloons, balloons. Oh, Jack, buy me a balloon. Yeah, I want one, too. That pretty pink one. Say, that is pretty. Do you want a balloon, Kenny? No, that's for children. I want a Tom Collins. Kenny, you don't even know what a Tom Collins is. I do, too. It's a hard-boiled lemonade. All right. Stop showing off. Home, Mr. Benny? Why, Rochester? I thought you was at NBC Broadcasting. Yeah, and I thought you were home where you should be, working. Well, here we are at the circus. Well, now that you're here, you can stay. But don't let it happen again. Yes, sir. Save balls. Well? Are you in the mood for a little conference in the field of finance? Oh, so you're broke again, eh? What happened to that $5 I gave you last night? The what? I gave you $5 last night. Now, what did you do with it? I sent that out to fight the recession. Now, tell me the truth, Rochester. What did you do with that money? I went to the barber shop. Now, that's ridiculous. How could you spend $5 in a barber shop? The barber's through a seven. Well, here's a dollar. That's all you're going to get. Now run along. Thanks, boss. Yeah, come, Josephine. Hmm, that boy can't hold on to a dime. See, I'm hungry. I'm going over to get a hot dog. Yeah, me too. I could go for one myself. Hot dogs. Get your hot dogs here. Get them while they're red hot. Hey, I thought you were selling balloons. Well, you taste the hot dogs. Oh, I see. Well, we don't want any. Hey, Jack, look, look. They're lining up the freaks for the sideshow. Right this way, ladies and gentlemen. Our sideshow is about to begin. We have with us the greatest and most stupendous aggregation of freaks and curiosities this world has ever seen. Come on, fellas. Let's get a load of this. Oh, hurry up. And now, right over here on my right, we have Elmer, the living skeleton. Why this man is so thin we can't weigh him. He keeps blowing off the scale. A living skeleton. I bet he weighs 150 pounds. Come on, your shoes squeak. How does he know? Now, over here on my left, we have Mademoiselle Lulu, the greatest snake charmer that ever made a cobra's ankle. Well, well, hello, Lulu. Oh, Andy. Why, Andy, do you know the snake charmer? Sure. I used to know her when she played with worms. Oh, way back when, eh? And right over here, we have one of the greatest novelties on the face of the globe. Sailor Smith, the tattooed man. Pictures from head to toe. Tattooed man. Why, there's hardly a mark on his body. We sent him to the laundry and shut up. Shut up yourself, you old windbag. And right over here, ladies and gentlemen, we have a new attraction. The man with the pin head. Where? I'm looking at you. Why don't you keep quiet, Jack? I'm a nerve of that guy saying I had a head like a pin. Yeah, how could he tell with your hat on? A wise guy. And now, folks, last but not least, for the real sensation of the evening, we have with us none other than that famous old re-entered man, Sir Prince Azaza, direct from Cairo, Egypt. Yes, sir, she dances. She shapes and she quivers. Oh, boy, that's my niece, Kenny. Right inside, folks. Prince Azaza goes on immediately. Come on, fellas, let's go in. Yeah. See you later, you little cut-up. Wait a minute, Jack. We have time to go in here. The big show starts right away. Yeah, we got to go over there, darn it. Have you got your passes, Jack? Here they are. I've got to exchange them at the box office. Well, here we are, fellas. Yes, sir. How many? I'd like to exchange these for tickets. I've got five passes. Here you are. Listen, buddy, these passes are good all right, but not for tonight. These are for the matinee. Matinee, the man that gave them to me, said they were for tonight. I can't help what he said. These are for the matinee. Matinee or no matinee? What's the point? Fine, how do you? I'm going right home and rip those posters off my house. Go ahead. We're leaving town tonight anyway. Well, this is the dirtiest trick that I've ever... Now, move along, buddy. We're holding up the line there. Well, I've never heard of such a rotten thing in all my life. Oh, Jack, why haggle about it? Why don't you buy tickets? Sure, I'll buy a couple of dollars. Now, listen, fellas, it's not the money. It's the principle of the thing. Oh, come on, Jack. Come on. If you feel that way about it, I'll buy the tickets. You can take us out to supper later. But we're going to get into this circus for nothing. Now, follow me. Hey, the main entrance is over that way. I know what I'm doing. They're not going to put anything over on me. Come on around to the back. Now, quiet, everybody. I'll show those guys. Now, look nonchalant, fellas. I know what's coming. Now, wait. Now, wait. Here's a good place. Lift the tent, Kenny. We'll all crawl under. Oh, gee whiz. We don't want it. Oh, don't be afraid. Now, come on. Now, listen, fellas. Mary, Kenny and I will go in first. And Don, you and Andy can watch until I give you the signal to come in. Now, come on. Follow me under the tent. Woo! Kenny, don't push. Quiet, everybody. Gee, this is like going to the circus with Harry Lauder. All right. Here we are. Up on your feet. Well, here we are on the inside. What's wrong with this? Hey, Jack, look at these bars over here. What are they for? That's a cage, Kenny. There are lines on the other side. Oh, yeah. Turn around, Jack. Oh, for goodness sake! Something new, something different, something swell to eat. And here it is. And you'll all want to try it. It's called golden apricot pie, the most unusual dessert you've served in a long time. Made with delicious orange jello combined with apricots. And it's easy to make. And here's what you do. First, dissolve one package of orange jello in hot water and chill until thickened. Then combine half a pound of cooked, dried apricots with a quarter cup of sugar. Fold the apricots into the thickened jello and turn into a cold, baked pie shell. Chill until firm, cover with whipped cream and give your family a grand new treat. For golden apricot pie is really swell. Fragrant, fruit-rich orange jello molded with apricots under a blanket of fluffy whipped cream. A beautiful combination to look at. A delicious one to taste. Just be sure to make your apricot pie with genuine jello, for only jello brings you jello's extra-rich fruit flavor. So try this delicious new pie for dessert. Order jello from your grocer tomorrow. This is the last number of the 29th program of the new jello series. We'll be with you again next Sunday night at the same time. Well, folks, I'm all out of breath, but I got away from that lion. And now, ladies and gentlemen, I would like to announce that next Sunday night we are going to present the highlight of our entire season. We're going to offer our version of Walt Disney's greatest film success, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. So be sure and listen in. Say, Jack, have you seen the picture yet? No, Mary, but I'm going to see it tonight. I've got passes. Do you want to come along? No, I'm not going to sneak under the Carthage Circle. Good night, folks. Here's an important announcement. Starting this week, Robert L. Ripley's Believe It or Not program will be heard Tuesday night instead of Saturday over most of these same stations. Be sure to see your local newspaper for the new time. Daylight savings gets to some parts of the country next Sunday. This will bring a change in time for the Jell-O program on some of these stations. Consult your local newspaper for schedule of your station. Kenny Baker pairs on the Jell-O program to courtesy of Mervin Roy Productions. This is an actual broadcast and company.