 Hey Pops, fuck's going on here mate, then you owe me a few answers bruh And if you don't tell me the truth, that's just gonna make my mood angry up Where the hell is Plans and what the fuck is this goose standing up? What, you mean to tell me this poo handle and zoo land of his dudes manning up? Well fuck nicotine, I don't care if you're fitty deep on bringing beef If one punch you leave him purpled up and leaning, then kiss the meat If I'm battle rapping Chopper Reeve, then you look like a Neville Barthos Mini-Me, midget brief, we should never show his face on camera, dicky knee If I'm out, you're from that first wave, Aussie battler's sent to be a star shining But when the views drop off they duck out and you can't find them You know nothing about the dark times, stark reminders, hard grinder But now the battlin's cool again, you heart cries and you ask parts for a large slice of the card price For you to start rhyming, you craft bite and free load and part timer You can just waltz in here and rob plans by predicting what he'll do Spit some cheap ass jokes and get the win against a dude You just heard Kay talking about that comedian, R Williams in the news Well just for Robin W, he's only been swinging from a noose That's an industry where the majority snitchin Accounts are doggin, your business makes a commodity with him With the job that you're in, the chance your body means little If he's brandish in a bold statement, he probably got it from dribbles So this for all my people that got lost in a system This is for all my friends that got a cop the conviction I'll do this For all my homies that are locked up in prison and put this Prosecutant liar in a box like a witness So bring your tassie jokes and your bogan jokes I'll just step to the side I'll just stand over here and pretend I'm surprised Now there must be some racists organising these battle events To just beat two of the biggest bogan rappers And then they give me Dundee Holy shit, it's happened again So you know the protocol I will diss all of your Anglo-Saxon family friends Like Aaron and Jen, Sharon and Ken She braced the sketch, let's re-raise the bets Another pretty tawny favourite, I will e-raise and set This is an a-rate rapper verse 1c, great or less So how is d-rated best? You are d-rate at best Knife is not a knife, I've got a knife Walkersons, funny ochre styles, mc, after this You won't even get called by Devastator's Dumb League Which means not even that Crocodile Dundee You get the picture in between Monkeys and Cavemen Fucking amazing Was that a joke that you wrote or just another you've taken? Like how you said plans are so old this ID has hieroglyphics You actually used 1990s kids jokes to write your lyrics Or how you said Gabby has a wooden leg with the kickstand And Lulu has a mouth and a neck and she chews like this Damn, those were some jokes we'd never heard before We watched Eddie Murphy's Raw When it comes to stealing jokes, you would get a perfect score That's how we plan to see every battle Hmm, how do I pen a verse on Shaws Gonna get deserved applause You true Melbourne comedy festival than Edinburgh tours So man up, Dunners, we're demand and honesty Time to put your hand up and treat your fan club properly You say your bash pants noggins doing jacked up robberies The only thing you're stealing from is stand up comedy He steals punchlines and puts them in his raps That's the fucking biggest joke I slap in the face to all of us who come up with shit with rope We can't trust the word he says That means Dancers shifty bloke, let me put it as you say it I hope you suck a dick and choke Cause after I made plans I was calling up the bookies Like I've got to be the favourite I'm sure that's where they put me but the favourite is him Cause reportedly these rookies got a soft spot for D Cause they're all a bunch of pussy So we have all three round classics This is over in one I killed his Bogan for fun and this has only begun They say the tournament favourite is supposed to be done So tonight I'm showing him how it's supposed to be done You calling me a rookie saying all of us are pussies When your mum's pussy looks like a fucking wookie Effing in this tournament ain't impression me dude It's been the same shit every time it's a repetitive loop You've dealt with a line up of Bogan's on a regular True, you ain't a rapper that's a glorified Centrelik Q You coming back in this tournament was bloody mad But after your last two opponents I started realising something The only reason you've accepted to do these battles Your gutless fag was saying to dealt Bogan's What you really think of him without getting fucking back He's like my cousin Ann You've been picking on me Uncle Plans You're welcome to the fucking fam after I sun him bad He'd be calling that his dad You think you wanted the best in the game? Shit, you about to fall from that position Thought you'd just write another chapter like your story isn't finished Thought you'd just jump back on the court and you'd be ballin' in an instant Come this is Jordan team with Pippin versus Jordan with the wizards I'm the best I've ever been, you're fallin' short of your beginnings While you came here for the love and answer to call for Australia I just came to make the rain in blood like I'm recording with Slayer I mean, you got the swag of a fucking gypsy accordion player She looked like Peter Andre if he was shorter and gayer But I have dealt with you before, cunt From a young age, I was a siggy fiend Since I was 15, I smoked a pack a day plus I was spinnin' weed But for the last three months, been off them durries and been livin' clean So I'm about to make it a second time this year that I wanna battle against Nicotine What's your name, Nicotine? Nicco, please Are you tryin' to be ironic, Amy? You're not a smoker, that's why I'm changing my rat name to MC Not A Bogan I've been tryin' to say my next tattoo suit me to a corporate job promotion Cause it's either that or your name's just a reference to what a fuckin' Cox's smoker So at the end of the day, all I can say to the judges When you are choosin' who to fly to the UK from this country Instead of puttin' faith in him, why don't you place it in donors? Just remember, my addiction from the age of a youngin' Apart from the decay to my lungs, I was left with basically nothin' Rapin' my budget, spendin' 20 bucks a day on them fuckers If you're payin' for his flights, it's just like payin' for durries You spendin' up on Nicotine, you're fuckin' wastein' your money What's up, let's go, bro You're gonna have to bring your best out of here, let's do it Let's go, let's go, let's go Now I heard your old man owns a pub, lad Why doesn't he let you run that? I mean, you're like 30 years old, you're not exactly a rug rat It's probably cause he's embarrassed to sell him a suck of drug rat Goin' through a rough patch, thinkin' he can bust raps Could he imagine this guy doin' stock take? He'd be like, what's up, dad? Listen, I want to cap back on the nuts, knacks and pub taps Cause I want to get a gun-tack and put it near me nutsack That's what all the thugs have Get it, bro That's what all the thugs have Sorry, guys That's what all the thugs have That's what all the thugs have But see It's reverse psychology See, he does, sorry, we all deserve apologies He does reverse psychology Cause he acts as though he's from the poorest dirt economy Urban poverty But his father turns a profit from a commercial property See, Don, you can ask my mates We don't have a million dollar property I mean, maybe we will if we win the fuckin' lottery So that's why I'm not impressed by how many blokes you step to Security won't reject you cause you own the venue Just imagine it now This lurking clown smashed a massive amount of jack by the round To security pounce the bouncers carry him out Then they stop They turn around and put him back on the couch Cause it's actually his house But hey, if you do that wannabe thug lines Then fuck it I'll just prove him a better rapper when I use punchlines To combine his pub rhymes with gun crimes Like, check this So when I walk in with that big barrel That's when I open up the keg, bad paw Good shot I'm blowin' off his head And it's a charest, charest He's gonna pour a lot of rent So that's the punishment you get For trying to run a scam I will son of Sam, done as fam Till my gun is jammed Who's next? Talkin' about pubs and security I will burn this little door Motherfucker, how you gonna say that When your brother's over here Workin' on the door Surprise the other body's incest bars Better have my brother fucked My sister hard And my mother is my mistress But your mother and her siblings Are from a country where there's incest bars Having arranged marriages all the time And your second cousin on your distant aunt And guess how I knew your mum's heritage Cause it smelled like curry when I fingered at So I came in a bitch's mouth And told her to fuck and get it in the arse So who the fuck are you? The mackerel walk Takin' selfies in the mirror While you jackin' off to fashion blogs Well stop jackin' off you faggot Gronk, it ain't a curtee That you're a massive knob When you walk to work every morning In slow motion doin' the hassle off You got Greek missus Greek parents Greek mates and the birds And Greeks used to have blond hair Back in the days when I've heard So I get some Muslim hoodlums To run a train on your bird Just to remind you of how your ancestor's Got raped by the Turks String bars, cunts Cause if he's what it means To be proudly Australian Then fuck it, I wanna be Mario Asian Look at all these double standards When it comes to banning I get called in red Cause I come from Tassie Yet plans cop shit from these drop kicks Cause he called this country packy So we can diss on someone's Gender, sexuality, disability They're fuckin' family The ones they love, the girl they're marrying But bringing up race and such a travesty And if you're like Well, race ain't the same in comparison, dunners Hey, that's exactly what I mean By double standards, you muppets Hey, if you can't handle the subject Here's a tip for ya Don't watch the battles, you fuckheads The racist card you brought on plans Ain't gon' fly, dawg, please You don't want perpetuating that stereotype Not me Looks like the only time you'll ever serve Me and your life's gon' be When you're bringin' me my fuckin' life To happen like on the streets You know what proves I'm just a veteran with words When I choke in my second And it's still better than your third I get this Now in my last verse I had gun bars chucked in the end And to be perfectly honest I'm not done with you yet Let's play some Russian roulette I'll put that gun to your neck To match that toaster on the ride I'll hold up one to your left But see, he makes fashion jokes About the shit that I'm in And when he does it Automatically just gives me the win Cause he says I'm a metro But I'm less of a fashion victim than him Cause he pays grown men To color up and pretty his skin See, they write a tattoo on me Dunners, I'm a clean skin Cause I'm comfortable With that look I've always been in But I guess being comfortable is something Mickey ain't So when he's feeling insecure He gets another lick of paint That's what you and me get different We aren't at all alike Cause I don't dress up as a bikey Who can't afford a bike He deserves a good pole bash Until he's skull smashed in Someone tell this richie He won't get with Nicole Just cause he dresses an old mate Joe Madden's whole fashion Cause even with them tats You're as boring as a six pack of rich crackers But you married a good looking girl It's a mismatch that shits backwards Cause you've got no slick swagger No good look and no pimp factor So it proves he must roll in stones How else did Mick Jagger See, most Australian battle rappers Are truthfully wack And half the fans are fucking dumb You're proof of the fact Like I didn't understand How the words are used in his act But I like to do with the tats He's fucking rude when he raps So you act Australian and proud Next battle, who grab a flag And start waving it around Like I'll kill any fucking foreigner Tasmania is my town It's Wolf Creek That's how we see Mick Taylor to the crowd And that's just overseas though So what I did tonight Was a lesson to his ego Get the frickin' memo I'm letting Mickie Hake know I'll send him out of tweet As I'm stepping into hate war