 Lux presents Hollywood. The radio theater brings you Olivia DeHavilland, Don Amici, and Dick Foran in Guest Wife. Ladies and gentlemen, your producer, Mr. William Keely. Greetings from Hollywood, ladies and gentlemen. I'd like to take this chance to thank you for your many letters and communications since becoming producer of this theater. I wish that time would allow me to answer each one personally, but be assured that your advice and your suggestions are appreciated and will help us greatly in our choice of plays and stars. Among the requests we've had, many have been for Sam Wood's comedy success, Guest Wife, produced by Jack 8 Skirball, and presented on this stage tonight with Don Amici and the role he played so engagingly on the screen. Co-starred with Don is the versatile Olivia DeHavilland, a long time favorite of this theater and incidentally of mine. Also, Dick Foran from the original screencast. Here's the first act of Guest Wife, starting Olivia DeHavilland as Mary, Don Amici as Joe, and Dick Foran as Chris. There's probably no happier married couple in the world than Mr. and Mrs. Christopher Price of Ketooson, Ohio. Well, why shouldn't they be happy? They're young, handsome, intelligent, and on this particular night, they're especially happy. In just 40 minutes, they're boarding the train for New York for two wonderful weeks, a second honeymoon. Yes? Oh, Chris, do you want to take this suit along? Well, if there's room, honey. Oh, say, you haven't heard the front doorbell, have you? Doorbell? Why? Well, just before I left the bank, Western Union called. It was so late, I told them to send the telegram here. It couldn't be anything important. Chris, maybe it was important. Darling, telegrams aren't always bad news. The last one was? What last one? Concentrate on that empty corner in the living room. Oh, that wasn't a telegram. It was a cablegram. Well, whatever it was, it was from Bad News Parker. Well, what would you do when your best friend cables that he's in jail in a foreign country? You didn't have to send him $1,000 that would have bought our baby grand piano. Oh, gee, honey. Maybe you never met him, but you know you wouldn't feel right playing that piano if I let Joe sit there in prison. You mean the way we sat on the pier in Lake Michigan and spent our honeymoon watching the seagulls? Oh, now, darling. Just because Joe stole the boat you'd chartered to go chasing gangsters? But he caught them. Yes, sir. That story was responsible for making him a foreign correspondent. And look at him today. His pictures on your desk. You look at him. Yeah, to Chris. The best pal a man ever had. Nevertheless. Honey, now look. Stop worrying about Joe. Do you know where he is right now? In India. Maybe he's run out of curry. Chris, how much time have we? Plenty of time. I'll get it. Either our cab's early or that telegram. What was it, dear? Western Union. See, just a plain old telegram. Go on, open it. I've got that awful feeling you open it. All right, I will. Ten to one, it's about Taylor's loan at the bank. If you ask me... Go on, dear. Mary, it is from Joe. It can't be. He's in India. Listen to this. Arriving 8.30 tonight. Can't wait to meet Mary. Important. Isn't that swell? He's coming here. I think it's awful. Oh, now, Mary, just wait till you meet him. I'll wait till it's time to catch the 9-2 for New York. Joe Parker or no, Joe Parker, I'm going and I'd love to have you along. Oh, Chris, fun's fun, but it's almost 8.30 now. Don't worry. We'll wait 15 minutes and not a second more. Good. Now let's finish packing. Oh, look. Do you like it? Huh? Do I like what? This. Find your hat, Chris. Your new hat? Oh, no, Mary. No. Well, what's the matter with it? It looks like a lamb chop. Honey, what if Joe's a little late? Just pin a note around the door. You run off with a woman you love. We could leave in the morning. Tonight. Oh, yes, ma'am. What a hat. My woman insist. Chris! Joe! Just open the door and barge in, Parker. Chris, let me get a look at you. Boy, am I glad to see you. Hey, nice. But I thought you were in India. That was last Thursday. Oh, here she comes. Sweetheart, this is Joe. I suspected that. Mary, Mary, Atlas. Oh, my, you are a psych-masaur, I say. That's about the prettiest hat I've ever seen. Oh. And look, you got shoes on. Oh, you don't know how good it is to be back in a country where women wear shoes. Well, it's a little late, but I guess the guy's entitled to kiss the bride, eh? Well, I don't know, Joe. Mary never quite forgave me for not showing up at our wedding. Ah, yes, I know. Unforgivable. Especially when I think of all those lonely hours Mary's brightening for me. Hmm? You know, Chris, she's the picture. That picture you sent me. Oh, yes, darling. I sent him one of your pictures. You know, that hat really gets me. Say, Mary, how did he ever get you to marry him, you lucky, lucky guy, you? Well, it's 18 minutes to nine. We're supposed to catch a train. You see, we're going to New York. Yeah, make yourself at home, Joe. We'll be back in two weeks. Do that. Here's our cab, Chris. Goodbye, Joe. Gee, pal, I hate to run off and leave you like this. Oh, forget it, forget it. I'll ride down the station with you. Chris, I'll grip. I'll get him. Joe. Yeah. It's really very sweet of you, but why bother going to the station? Why don't you just make yourself comfortable? Oh, I insist on going. Besides, I wouldn't think of imposing on your hospitality. Hey, wait a minute. I got a great idea. Oh, no, no. Joe, why don't you come with us? Well, that's a wonderful idea. It is? Except I can't possibly go to New York with you. Oh, what a shame. Take the grips, Chris. I'll lock the door. Outside, everybody, outside. Hey, Joe, why can't you go to New York? Oh, that's a long and bitter story, Chris. I'll tell you on the way to the station. All right, Joe, start explaining. Well, I've been in lots of jams, but nothing like this before. And it all started as a kibble. A what? A kibble. That's the word, Chris, and I made up in college. You see, honey, if Joe tells you something that isn't true, he's kidding you. But if I confirm it, I'm kibbling you. Now, this time, I kibble myself a wife. Oh, great. You see, all I wanted was a few days off, but I just had a few days off, so I had to think up something pretty good. I kibble the boss, I got married. Married? Yeah. He not only gives me a vacation, he makes me far Eastern manager for a wedding present. This kibble racket pays off. Only sometimes it backfires. The boss, that's Mr. Wuer, starts writing letters to my wife, so she had to answer them. Naturally. He answered them. He bought us a house in New Delhi. More letters back and forth. He sent us presents. Once I tried to kill off my imaginary wife with fever. But I only had. Can't you see the mess I'm in now? Look at this kibble he sent me. Give it to Chris. I never touched them. Report immediately, New York. Bring Mrs. Parker. Important she be here. Hey, T-worth, you're not worried about this. Well, of course. Ah, it's simple. All you have to do is get a hold of some girls. No, no. Unfortunately, I sent the boss a picture of my wife. Chris, I thought you said this man was smart. Well, if it's somebody you know, maybe she'll... I don't think so, Chris. Chris, I've got that horrible feeling again. I'll roll down the window, honey. Joe, this girl. Does Chris know her too? As a matter of fact, yes, he does. I think I know her too. Hey, I get it. The girl is married. You sent Mary's picture to your boss. Oh, oh, oh, oh. All you have to do, Mary, is pop into the office with Joe and meet the boss, your Mrs. Parker. Then you pop right back to me and your Mrs. Price. Easy as that. Sure, it'll be alike like some of the stuff we used to pull before we were married when we were young. You mean way back before we lost our sense of humor. She's gonna do it, Joe. Mary, you are saving my life. Oh, don't thank me. Why, you've given me a chance to recap to my youth. If I do this for you, Joe Parker, will you go away and hide? I promise you won't see me the entire time you're in New York. Well, just you remember that. Oh, I will, Mary. I will. Watch your step. Get on the train, please. Watch your step. We better get on, Mary. Chris will be here in a second. He's just getting my ticket. Well, all right. Chris, hurry up. Woman's space, please. Here. Well, there'll be one more. My husband. You better get aboard, lady. We're running late. Chris! Oh, Mary, my wallet. I gave it to you with a ticket. I haven't got any money. Oh, come on. Get aboard. Chris will pay the conductor. He can't get on. There are no accommodations left. We're booked solids. Stop the train, Joe. Get off. Mary, this whole floor. How do you walk off us? Well, I still think I should have gone straight to the hotel. I'll have you in and out of here in two minutes. Just smile sweetly at Mr. Worth. Tell him what a great man he is and you're free as a bird. Well, here we go. Reception like this all this isn't for us, is it? Yes, Joe. I'm afraid it is. We're porters and camera men. Well, I better tell Mr. Worth you're here. Well, how'd you like India, Mrs. Parker? Oh, she just loved India. Oh, yes. There's the curry and kibbles I'm crazy about. Joe, my boy. Joe, Mr. Worth. Hello, Joe. Hello, Mary. You don't mind if I call you Mary. Oh, I certainly wish you would. It's my name. Now, Mrs. Parker, if you'll just stand right there, please, and Joe, that's it. I just want to take a couple of pictures. Pictures for what? My boy may introduce President Reed of Paulson University. President Reed has something to tell you. I won't stand on ceremony, Mr. Parker. On behalf of Paulson University and in recognition of your distinguished performance as a foreign correspondent, I award you this year's Paulson Prize for Journalism. One thousand dollars in cash, which I dare say I'd better hand to Mrs. Parker. Joe, my boy, I think that's wonderful. I assure you, I never expected anything like this, and I'm sure Mrs. Parker didn't either. I'll cherish this award as long as I live, and as for that thousand dollars, I hope Mrs. Parker's going to give it to me. Oh, no, gentlemen. I think I'll use this money for something I've wanted for a long, long time. Well, if that's all you want of Mrs. Parker, she'll be in my office. Come in, Joe, after you've said hello to everybody. Sit down, my dear, sit down. Thank you, Mr. Worth. Look, on the table there. Why? Why, it's my picture, isn't it? Yes. Remember what you wrote on it. Do I remember? To the boss, our friend and guardian angel who has been more than a father to both of us. Oh, you don't know what that means to me, Mary. Well, I must confess, Joe had something to do with it. And your letters. Letters? Especially that one from Punjab, Tony. Oh. Oh, yes. It's a beautiful spot. Really? From your letters, it sounded wretched. It did? But I suppose any place is beautiful, and one has just been snatched back from the grave. I kept all your letters, Mary. But that one, well, I was tempted to publish it. It's such a perfect story of what marriage really means. Oh, oh, yes. Joe should hear this letter. I'll go call him. Oh, Joe, Joe, come in. There's something I want to read to you. This letter. What letter? Oh, oh, well, that's one of Mary's letters, isn't it? From India. Just listen to this. Here, my dear, you read it. We are here in the Punjab townhead. It's a frightful place. But as I lie in this native hut, I am the happiest woman in the world. Joe alone has nursed me for three long weeks. He has shielded me with his body against the monsoon. And night and day has fought for life to stay within me when so often it seemed to be slipping away. Oh, just think, Mary. I might never have met you. Why, dear, you make me have to be a regular hero. In the darkest hours, his voice kept begging me not to go, and his big brown eyes, looking down at mine, made me want to live. And now, as my strength returns, I know we have something that binds us close together than ever before. And this I wanted to share with you, Mr. Worth, our dearest friend. To me? To me, that led her as a classic. Mary, you don't realize what a close call that was. I don't think I ever will. And now, if you don't mind, Mr. Worth, I'd like to go to the hotel. Oh, but we're due at the university for lunch. Oh, Dennis, what time is that luncheon? 1.45.80. And Mr. Parker's talked to the School of Journalism. Long? Is it three? Followed by the cocktail party here for all members of the staff. Oh, Mary, my dear, what is it? It's Christmas. What about Christmas? Oh, that's Christmas shopping. Oh, she's just dying to get in the stores, aren't you, dear? Joe Parker, if you don't. Now, darling, it's only for the rest of the day. Remember, tomorrow's another day. It's another day. That's just what I'm afraid of. Oh, well, let's go to the luncheon. I expected the President to bag down and see me off. And Mr. Arnold, say this is mighty nice of you. Chris, we have to talk to him. Oh, but Mr. Arnold, the train's ready to leave. I'm going to leave without you. Hey, but I missed my train last night. My wife is with me. Step over here. Well, we won't be seeing. But my train, will you kindly take a look at this? You get me off the train to look at a newspaper? We had a sudden visit from the bank examiners. Bank examiners? What that's got to do with a morning paper? Am I going to New York? Look, just look at this picture. But it's Mary, Mary and Joe. Mr. and Mrs. Joseph Parker arrived in New York today. Mrs. Mr. Parker was awarded the Pulse and Prize for Journalism and Mrs. Parker was present at the ceremony. Price, a man who'd live with another man's wife, might steal another man's money. At least that's what the bank examiners think. She's my wife. Then what's she doing in New York with her other husband? They're spelliest Joe Parker. We can read. He's my best friend. But that's Mary in the paper. And the paper says that she... What'll I do? She's expecting me on the train that just left. There's just one thing I can suggest. Let the bank examiners finish their report. There isn't anything wrong, of course. Not with my account. Good. We should be able to calm everybody down by tonight. Oh, say, this is a terrible mix-up. It was all just a kibble. Kibble? Oh, never mind. Look, do you mind if I telephone New York? Do it from the bank. We've got to get back there. 209, 211. Well, this is it, Mr. Worth. My hotel room. Our hotel room. Won't you come in, Chief? Well, just for a minute, perhaps. I'm sorry, but I... I think I'm on the verge of collapse. Oh, it must have been a very trying day for you. Well, thank you for showing me New York, Mr. Worth. And if you're in the neighborhood sometime, I... You just rest, Mary. I'll get the phone. Hello? Well, Chris! Chris! Where are you? Well, what are you doing in Catooson? Give me that phone. Hello? Chris is still in Catooson. He is? I thought you were on the train. He's our closest friend, Mr. Worth. He promised to meet us here. Oh, that's nice. Well, I don't care. This is supposed to be our second meeting. I'll handle old Chris, honey. Oh, for heaven's sake. Hello? Chris, Mr. Worth is here. You know my boss? Yes, he's right here now. Hmm? Oh, okay. He wants you again, Mary. What? But we haven't been in the hotel all day. Try to get us on the phone all day. You don't say. I knew it would turn out like this the minute that telegram came. But why can't you explain it to me? Oh, this is terrible. I don't think you want to come. Oh, all right, then. I'm so unhappy I can't talk anymore. Give me a whack at it. Now, Chris, you see what happens when you don't show up? What? Take her dancing. Kiss her goodnight for you. I don't think she'd like that, Chris. I'll do what I can. So long, old man. I'm so mad I could cry. Mary dear, you are crying. Yes, yes, boss. You see, it's been like this ever since that time of Punjab time. Whenever Mary is disappointed, she gets hysterical. Poor kid, it hasn't been easy. Well, under the circumstances, I think I'd better just run along. Yeah, perhaps that would be better. Take good care of her son. Good night. Good night, Mr. Worthy. Mary. Go away. There was a fire ax here. I'd heave it at you. Now, Chris must have had a good reason for missing that train. Look, get yourself all draped out and we'll do the town. Then when Chris gets here, tomorrow probably you'll know all the spots to him. How about it, huh? No. Oh, now, Mary, come on. We can have a lot of laughs. No. Wait a minute. I will go. Well, now that's better. Who does he think he is? On our first honeymoon, we sat on a pier in Lake Michigan. No. And now on our second honeymoon, he stands me up. Did you ask me out for the evening? I certainly did. Okay, brother, you've got yourself a date. Hours later, and in one of New York's more exclusive nightclubs, Joe Parker gazes across the table with complete satisfaction. The deception of Mr. Worth, his employer, has been thus far eminently successful. And the lady largely responsible suddenly has become exceedingly amiable. Well, now isn't this nice? Very nice. Thank you. You're feeling better, aren't you? Better? You know about this whole business, about me. You are a conniver, Mr. Parker. Oh. Don't look so hurt. You are. I know. I just thought that... But I've forgiven you? Well, maybe I have. Well, thank you, Mary. You see, Chris phoned me again. He explained why he was delayed, and, well, he'll be here tomorrow afternoon. Oh, good. Fine. You're a flower, Mr. Parker. Oh, yes. Thank you. Fuck it. Just a few turnip greens. Why haven't I had an orchid since I got married? You mean, Chris doesn't... I mean, the wives of small-town bankers don't wear orchids. It makes the depositors nervous. Well, I'm glad to hear it's not Chris's fault. He turned out to be that kind of a heel. I'd say it's a good thing you left him. What? Uh, joke. Just a joke. Well, that's strength of the grandest guy in the world. My husband. To Chris. You know, I've been wondering how you'd feel if I went around introducing you as Mr. Price. I'd feel like a very lucky guy. Mm-hmm. Chris told me you had a good line. Chris is part of the best line I ever had. Mm-hmm. At college, football. How'd you think I ever made two touchdowns against Notre Dame? You probably talked your way down the field. Oh, no. No, it was Chris. Took out their end-to-backs and a safety man. But he never made a touchdown. No, that's the fate of the linesman. Do all the work and the glory goes to the ball carrier. If I were Chris, I'd want to carry the ball once in a while. Well, he got you, lady. And I'd say that's a pretty good ball, Toten. By the way, how did Mr. Worth ever let you get away tonight? Oh, he called back. I wanted to show you were all right. And I told him you were resting comfortably. I'm resting beautifully. That's the trouble I'd like to dance. Oh, well, let's only please make allowances. Arthur Murray hasn't got a branch in Punjab time yet. Or in Quitoos in Ohio. Well, what have we got to do? Mm-mm. I'm too comfortable. But the horse is tired, Mary. Well, well, good night, Joe. And I had a wonderful time and thank you very much. You are very welcome. Oh, there's no need to go in with me. You've just run along to your hotel. But this is my hotel. Oh, small world, isn't it? So I'll see you to your room. And? And then go out again. I've got a lot of friends in the morning papers. They ought to be dropping into Lindy's just about this time. I'm sorry. I guess I shouldn't be so suspicious. I don't know why it's so hard to convince people. I'm really a perfect gentleman. I guess it's just those big ears, Grandma. Good night. But can I... Good night, Mary. Call the desk for me, Harry. Yes, Mr. Parker. I said, did anybody come in a hotel looking for you this afternoon when you was here in the bar? Thank you. How about a Marchini, Harry? Yes, sir. And bring the drink to the table, Harry, will you? I want to make a phone call. Hello, Blanche. Yes. Sweetheart, how are you? Joe Parker. Oh! Joe Parker. Reversal, nothing serious. Oh, let me sit back concoction. I'd try it, Mr. Parker. Harry, can you make it a little drier, please? I'll do it all over again. What do I care? It ain't my liquor. Okay. Hello. Hello, Jimmy. How are you, darling? Joe Parker. Tell me, what are you doing, huh? Who's the lucky man? Hi, Mr. Parker. Oh, little girl. Is it good and dry? The bartender. Well, look, I'll call you again sometime, Jimmy. Bye. Bye, Jim. You want I should try for you, Mr. Parker? I hate to see you sitting here all alone, a solitary drinker. Well, now, that's a good idea. Harry, here. Here's Nickel. The name is Susan Gardner, and she's in the phone book. Yes, sir. Tell her to come right down and not to worry about any pictures she may have seen in the newspapers. Sure, sure. What a carry. No! Chris! Chris! Am I glad you showed up? How'd you get here so soon? Got a plane. Say, where's Mary? She's in the beauty parlor. Come on, come on. Sit down. Tell me all about Mary. Oh, she is having the time of her life. Hey, what happened to you and Caduce? Didn't Mary tell you? Oh, she said something about something about the bank. Yeah, but everything's all leveled off. Say, how do you like me and my wife's husband? Oh, Mary is great, but I'll be glad to give her back to you. How are we doing, Harry? Everything's fixed. She's coming right down. Who's coming right down? Fine work, Harry. That is fine. Oh, a very delectable dish. Her name is Mary. Who? Yeah, turn around. Her wife has just come in. Darling! Give the man a big kiss and sit down. Darling, you must have flown here. Matter of fact, that's just what I did. And here I've been stalling at the hairdress's. Oh, honey. I think maybe Joe'd like to shake us off. He's waiting for somebody. Mr. Worth. Ah, Susie. Say, Chris, I have a room upstairs in your name right across the hall. Yeah, I know. My bag's up there. Joe, who's Susie? Oh, very special. Very special. Look, Mary, if I have any trouble selling Susie a load of clams, may I count on your cooperation? Oh, I'll be delighted to cooperate up. Chris, now stop! But I missed you, honey. But you know it tickles when you kiss the back of my neck. Afternoon, Paul. Afternoon, Mrs. Parker. Good afternoon. Is he seeing you, Harry? Yes, sir, Mr. Mills. Hey, who in the world was that? I haven't the slightest idea. Oh, just a house detective. He's always buzzing in and out of here. Chris, we're going to get all dressed up and do the town. I know all the places to take you. Oh, swell. I'll take my bags out of your room, Joe, and send a key down to the desk. And if you need any help with Susie, just holler. Oh, I will. I will. I just hope I don't hear you. Goodbye now. Picture all over the paper. You and Joe just as big as life. You mean everybody in cateaus and nose? Oh, no, honey. Oh, man, Evans bought up all the papers. But the bank examiners? They're very happy to report that your husband's bank is in excellent condition. And now, if you don't mind... How am I ever going to finish dressing if you won't? Who can that be? Oh, just the bellboy for Joe's key. Well, go give it to him, darling. Coming, my good man. Coming. Oh, you're not a bellboy, are you? I am Arthur Truesdale Worth. Oh, Joe's boss? Well, he isn't here right now. He isn't? I don't even know when he'll be back, Mr. Worth. I'll wait, thank you. Well, you must be that friend of his, eh? Who is it, dear? Oh, excuse me a minute, Mr. Worth. Hey, Mary. Mary, it's him, Joe's boss. Did he go? No, I shut the door in his face, but I can't leave him standing there in the hall. Oh, look at you, look. What's the matter? Lipstick all over your face. Oh, no wonder. He probably thinks that you and I were... Yeah, I'll wipe it off. Think of losing your reputation by kissing your own husband. Young man! Tell him I have a headache or something. But Mary, I just can't toss Arthur Truesdale Worth out on his ear. I don't care what you toss him out on. I'm tired of jokes. Just get rid of him. I'll get rid of him, but we don't want to get Joe in a jam. Joe, Joe, Joe. Let's just think about us. Now send him away. Coming, Mr. Worth, coming. Well, Mary's in the bedroom. Mr. Worth, she has a headache. Oh, oh, I'm sorry. A little bit too much excitement, I guess. He's lived in some money-exciting places since her marriage. Yes, that's right. Lived there happily with her husband. Of course, Mr. Worth. As his best friend, you undoubtedly know that. Oh, indeed I do. My dear friendship, young man, is based on decency and loyalty. Oh, you're absolutely right, sir. A man envies his friend nothing, nor does he covet. You've read the Ten Commandments, I suppose. Oh, yes. Well, I guess we'd better run along. Let her get some sleep. I think that's a good idea. But aren't you forgetting something? I am. That's your bag, isn't it? Oh, so it is. Thanks. We're leaving now, Mary. Goodbye. You know, young man, I'd like to get better acquainted with you. Oh, thank you. Thank you. But there must be some better places for that than right here in the doorway. Why don't you run down to my place on Long Island tonight? Oh, but I couldn't tonight. I have a big date. Too bad. Well, goodbye. I'll tell Joe you were here. Why? I've decided to stay here for a while. I'm not going to leave that poor girl alone in there. Good afternoon, Mr. Price. Did you get rid of them? Yes, I did, my dear. Oh. I'll just wait here for Joe. Try to sleep, Mary. Oh, how do you feel? Oh. Waiting for the elevator, Mr. Price? Well, what about it? Now, now, son, I've seen a lot of things after 20 years as a hotel detective. Huh? Take my tip. Don't start stealing other men's wives. But I could... It'll only bring you to ruination and disgrace. You're all wrote up now, but someday you'll thank me for this advice. Who knows? You might even check in with your own little wife. You go across the street, get a room. Women won't worry you over there, son. What's over there? YMCA. Good luck. Susie, honey, if you don't trust me, why did you come down here? I don't know why, Joe. I should have had more sense. You've got a wife. Your pictures were in the papers. Susie, I just told you. It was a marriage of convenience. She was sick and homeless. The man she'd come to marry was my best friend. He died in my arms. Get her back to the States, he said. Get her back before it's too late. Well, there was only one way I could get her back. But in a day or two, it'll all be arranged. She'll be free, and I'll be... Who's hissing me? Oh, here she is now. Excuse me just a second, will you? I should say not. Hey, Mary, you're just in time. For what? That's Susie over there. Oh, how nice. I need your help. She thinks maybe I'm not telling the truth. Imagine that. Just you leave us alone for a few minutes. You'll fix it. I'll do my best. Oh, thanks, Mary. You're a pal. Yes? I'm Mrs. Parker, Susie. Joe will be right back. Joe and I are old friends. Yes, he told me. You don't seem very happy, Mrs. Parker. Oh, I'm all right. As long as Joe's happy. What else matters? Oh, I'm sorry. I thought everything was over between you two. Oh, it is. It's just hard, I suppose, for a woman to admit she's failed. That her whole life is a broken bubble. That heel. Oh, no, you mustn't blame him. You two go on out and have a lot of fun. I'll go back up to my room. I don't want him to see me like this. Oh, you poor, poor kid. Goodbye. Goodbye, Susie. Well, Susie, isn't she swell? She certainly is. Ah, yes. But you're even 10 degrees lower than I thought you were. Susie. That girl's so in love with you, she can't see straight. What? And if you think I'm going to have anything to do with breaking her heart, you're crazy. You better go find her and try to be a gentleman for once in your life. You better go find her right now. I had Mr. Worth's in there, and I don't want him to hear me sneaking back in my room. Are you out of your mind? I don't know, Joe. Mr. Worth is in there. How can you sneak in without him? There are two doors, silly. One to the living room and one to the bedroom. He's in the living room. Oh. Oh. Now, wait a minute. Well? You are out of your mind. Why did you do that to Susie just now? Why? I just don't know, Joe. I guess it was just, well, seeing you with another woman. Mary, you can't be serious. Oh, Joe, I just don't know. I just don't know anything anymore. You better go in there and see Mr. Worth. Mary. Coming out there in the hall? Oh, hello, Mr. Worth. Mary has a terrible headache, Joe. She's in there lying down. Mary has a headache. Oh, hello, dear. Mr. Worth, my headache's all gone. Darling, aren't you going to kiss me? Huh? Now, don't be bashful in front of Mr. Worth. I feel just as if he's one of a family. Well, that's the way I want you to feel, Mary. Uh, where's Chris? He left. He had a date. A date? And I've come to take you down to my country place, children, for the weekend. Oh, I'd love to, boss, but I can't... Oh, but we'd love to, Mr. Worth. Oh, no! Not if... Mary, this is supposed to be a sort of a second honeymoon for you. It's a beautiful place to be alone out there. And, Joe, we won't tell a soul where we are. Oh, no, wait, Mary! Don't! Darling, you simply must stop thinking about me all the time. Of course we'll go. Now, don't stand there, dear, with your mouth open. Hurry, Joe. Hurry. This is CBS. They columned via broadcasting system. We continue with the third act of guest wife, starring Olivia de Havilland as Mary, Donna Michi as Joe, and Dick Ferran as Chris. It is an innocent kibble. Now finds Joe Parker being whisked to Long Island with an overly paternal boss and his best friend's wife. And a guy named Joe would very much like to cut his throat. Meanwhile, Chris has eluded the hotel detective long enough to dash to the telephone in the lobby. And on the joining phone is Joe's girlfriend, Susie. Uh, Mrs. Price, please. Uh, I mean Mrs. Joseph Parker, please, at 2-11. Mrs. Joseph Parker, please. What? But she must be up there. No, never mind. No, no message, thank you. She must be out. Poor girl. Who, Mary? Do you know her well? Her husband. Her husband's best friend. Then you must know how she needs help right now. I just met her. I had a date with her husband. Oh, then you're Susie. Joe told me about you. He said Mary wouldn't mind us going out. But she did mind. Oh, you're mistaken about that, Susie. No woman ever mistakes the look that comes into the eyes of another woman when she talks about the man she loves. It's such a tragedy. She's really so in love with him. She looked just like a bride talking about her new husband. What's that? As if she'd just become aware how wonderful it is. Why, she's so in love with Joe Parker. Oh, Susie, Susie. I'm the guy she's in love with. You? Yeah. Sorry, I didn't know. Well, maybe you'll make her forget him. Oh, please, don't worry about that. Just remember, it's awfully hard for a girl to forget a man like Joe. Goodbye. Hey, hey, that's me. Who wants me? My wife? Where did she go? I'm sorry, sir, but I didn't read the note. What note? Mr. Parker left this for you while they were dragging him out. Dragging him out? Who was dragging him out? Oh, some old duck and a beautiful doll. He just kept muttering, No, I don't want to go. Give me that note. Yes, sir. Mary and I got barreled in, at least I did. We'll be at worse home on Long Island. And if you can't, just trust me, Joe. Oh, and this will be your room, children. Oh, thank you, Mr. Worth. Isn't it lovely, Joe? Yes, dear. Boss, I was intending to work after dinner. I thought maybe you might give me a smaller room, so I won't disturb Mary. Oh, nonsense, nobody's going to work. Oh, darling, look, a balcony and a fall moon. It's like the moon in Punjab, the night I found I was going to live. Isn't it, dear? I'll just run along and leave you two together. See you at dinner. Oh, I'm so glad we're here together. Listen to the crickets. Don't they sound happy? They sound awful, and you can save all that stuff because Mr. Worth is gone. Is he? I'd forgotten he was even here. What? Mary, what's come over you? I don't know. Look, I know you held my hand in the car just to impress Mr. Worth. Oh, of course, Joe. The consequences of being nice were just part of your desire to help me. Joe. What? You're nice. Now, wait a minute, Mary. You know, if you really knew me, you wouldn't like me at all. Oh, how can you say that? Why, I'm shipless and fickle, and I'm always in hot. And as a matter of fact, nice people say I'm a louse. That's what makes you so attractive. No, Mary, no. Don't talk like that. You're exciting, Joe. You're different. But Chris is my best friend, Mary. I'd do anything in the world for him. And so would he, to make us happy. But Mary, I'm happy right now. Look at me. Don't I look happy? You'd better change for dinner, Joe. I'm not going to change. I'm going downstairs right now. I'll teach him. I'll teach him how to play kibble. Something troubling you? Oh, not a thing. Not a care in the world. Joe, you and Mary haven't been having a little tiff, have you? Oh, no. Uh, you've noticed, huh? Well, it's just a little flare-up, boss. You know, sometimes she gets carried away with an idea about something or somebody. It passes just as quickly as it comes. At least it always has, I hope. Joe Boy, you've got something fine in your marriage. Don't let anything or anybody spoil it for you. Oh, no, boss, no. Pardon me, Mr. Worth. Mr. Price is here, sir. Christopher Price. Chris? Why, that's wonderful. I didn't know he was coming. Neither did I. Well, show him in, Clinton. This way, sir. Hello, Mr. Worth. I had a change of plan. I could make it after all. How are you, Joe? Oh, much better, Chris. Much better. What happened to your date tonight, Mr. Price? She went out of town. Well, look who's coming. Mary. Well, how are you, Christopher? Joe's notin' came right out. I thought it might be nice to leave Word where you could find us. Oh. Come inside, my dear. I'm going to let you help me mix the cup. Oh, I'll be glad to. I'll be right back, dear. Take your time. Oh. I'm sorry. I think you're pretty clever, don't you, Joe? Well, how do you... How do you mean? You don't fool me for a minute. Fool you? Oh, no, no, Chris. Listen, I... You and Mary. What a couple of ham actors you've turned out to be. I'm surprised Old Man Worth hasn't come on. Come on, play up to her. Oh. Do you know what Susie told me? Susie... Look, Chris, you mustn't pay any attention to what Susie's... Susie's a... Ah, romantic, dope. She told me that Mary looked just like a bride who realized how wonderful her husband, meaning you really was. Joe, she met you. She thought that you and Mary... Yes, me. I'm going inside. I'm going to drink right away. Exactly 20 seconds to 11 o'clock. Anyone like to hear the news on the radio? Oh, not I, Mr. Worth. It would only bring me back to the realities of the world again. I guess you think I'm silly about all this, but it's just like a dream to me. A nightmare. You know, Mr. Worth, Chris used to be my best beau before Joe came along. You don't say. I never said I'd let you get away from me. But you warned me. You said when Joe looked at a woman, that was the end of everything or the beginning. Boss, do you think I could have a little cup of coffee? Why, certainly. Let's go into the study, shall we? You know Joe, it's a funny thing about... Keep it up, honey. You're doing great. I just hope Joe appreciates it. Oh, I'm sure he does. Say, look, after we go upstairs, I'll slip into your room. Oh, I don't think you'd better, dear. I mean, you do have some coffee. Oh, none for me, Mr. Worth. I think I'll just run along. Good night. Good night, my dear. We'll all be turning in in a minute. Yeah, I think I'll amble along, too. Good night, Mr. Worth. Wait a minute. You're going to have a cup of coffee with Joe and me. And then I'll show you to your room. Oh, well, that'll be nice. Well, good night, Mary. Your room, Joe. Careful. When you go in now, Mary might be asleep. Yeah, she might be asleep. Well, go in and don't stand there. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. I'm not asleep, Joe. That's too bad. Look, our lovely moon has disappeared. I wish I could, too. Joe, I've been sitting here on the balcony ever since I came upstairs. Well, I hope you enjoy it. I came here for my toothbrush, and now that I found my toothbrush, I'm going to Chris's room. I'm going to stay here. You what? On the balcony, just so the servants won't think it's odd. And what did Chris say? Oh, he seemed to think it was a fine idea. He did? Well, I'm having a little talk with Chris right now. I'm going, too. We might as well be together when I tell him. Tell him what? How I feel about us. He trusts me, Joe. I can't be dishonest with him. Uh, what are you talking about? I have to do it, Joe. We'll have to face it sooner or later, and it'll be easier facing it together, darling. So, come on. No. Then I'll go and talk to him alone. Mary, this is insanity. I'm going now, Joe. I may not have the courage to do it tomorrow. Mary, you are not going to do this. Yes, I am. There. I've locked the door. You can't go. I didn't ask to fall in love with you. You're my friend's wife, and I am not in love with you, Mary. Oh, you're so loyal to Chris. Everything he said you were a real friend. Mary, it is not loyalty. I am not, will not, and never could be in love with you. Oh, not now, I know, but after my divorce. Even if you didn't love Chris, if I didn't know him, I still couldn't be in love with you. Oh. Mary, I'm sorry I had to be so rough, but I just had to make you realize how unthinkable this is. Tomorrow you'll laugh about this. Tomorrow. Tomorrow's a long way off. Sometimes. What are you doing? I'm writing a note. Bye, Joe. I'll, uh, I'll see you in the morning. I won't be here in the morning. This note will explain everything. Oh, no. No, I'm not going. I'm not going to leave you. Oh, Joe, say that again. Say what? That you're not going to leave me. Oh, Mary. Mary, this is madness. I know it and I can't fight it. Well, now, that's done. Mary, I'm not going to give you this key. I don't need it. I'll just go out along the balcony. All the rooms connect with the balcony. Oh, no, you don't. There. I've got the key to the balcony doors, too. I'll get in the room, Mary Price. Yes, Joe. And sleep if your conscience will allow it. I'm spending the night on the balcony with both these keys. Joe, I'm afraid it's going to rain. Well, let it rain. Good night. Good night, Joe, dear. Oh, paste the floor all night, Mr. Price. Oh, Mr. Worth. I always exercise before I go to bed. You know, some people do knee bends. I just go for a walk. In your room? Surely. Do you happen to have the right time? You were correct before. It still is almost one o'clock. Good night. Ten minutes to two. Ten minutes to two. Something's wrong somewhere. And, brother, I'm going to find out right away. Oh, Mr. Price, sir. What are you doing? Clinton spying on me? Oh, no, sir. The storm. I was just closing the hall window. A likely story. Anything you want. Yes. I want my wife. And by George, I'm going to get her. Oh, Mr. Price, sir. Ah, go peel her radish. Oh, Mr. Worth. Mr. Worth. Oh, my goodness, Mr. Worth. Well, there's something I can do about that, too. One, two. Oh, dear. Why didn't you knock? Where is he, honey? Where is that rat? What's the matter? You snake. What do you think's the matter? All the time. Out on the balcony. Locking my wife in here. What did you say? Out on the balcony, huh? Well, then why aren't you wet? I was undercover. You're out in the open now, Parker. Chris, don't you believe me? I crawl under the lounge hot. Chris, look. No, you look. What? Try this for size. Joe, boy. Joe. It means I'm getting out of here and she's going with me. You bet I am, darling. Mary. You shut up. You can't get away with it. Yeah, you just try and stop us. I knew the minute I saw you. I didn't like you. I wasn't crazy about you either. Come on, honey. Oh, Mr. Worth. Oh, and happy kibling. Joe, boy, speak to me, Joe. Hello, boss. Come on, boy. The fools who stole in my car, I'll call the police. No, no. No, don't, boss. Just let them go. Maybe, maybe she'll be happier now. Joe, you're too noble hearted. You've been blind. I knew that fella meant no good. Funny, I just remembered something. It happened in Punjab, Tanheet when she was delirious. She murmured his name. She? She did? I wondered why, but now I know. Send me back to the Far East boss where I can forget. Send me back to my work. Yes, Joe. Yes. Didn't she leave any word for me? Just goodbye, Joe, and happy kibling. And what? Happy kibling, whatever that means. Oh, no. Joe, boy. Joe. Joe. You don't know what you've done. I finally made you carry the ball. You made me lose faith. What did you say? I finally made you carry the ball. Carry the ball? Why, you little... I was so tired of being Mrs. Kibble and I wanted so much to be Mrs. Price. Mrs. Kibble? Why do I have to ring your neck? Thanks, darling. But I don't think you will when I tell you the good news. What good news? But I was trying to tell you in Kittusen at the station, Chris, is finally going to be a little addition in our house. Darling, that's wonderful. Oh. What's the matter, dear? Well, do you think we can afford one? We can now, dear. There's $1,000 in my purse. $1,000? Joe won the Paulson Prize, remember, except I got the money. Oh, that's wonderful, wonderful. Say, when it comes, we can shove it right up against the wall by the fireplace. Chris. And you'll have to go over it every day and keep it nice and polished, huh? Darling, I have a slight suspicion we're not thinking of the same thing. You mean we're not going to have a baby grand? No. Oh. But I hope it's going to be a grand baby. Mary. A producer in a moment. Here's Mr. Keely with our stars. Having settled their marital complications, here are Mary, Joe, and Chris in real life, as Olivia de Havilland, Don Amici, and for the first time in this theater, Dick Ferrand. I must say, Olivia, you're looking very lovely with that suntan. Well, Bill, I've spent the last ten days sunbathing and resting up. Well, we don't begrudge the rest, Olivia, but isn't it time we had another picture from you? Well, that's why I've been relaxing. I've just finished making a picture call to reach his own for power mount. And I've seen you on the lot at Universal, Don. Inventing something for us on the screen again? Yes, I'm back at it now, Bill. Not a atomic energy this time. Oh, no, no. My next picture's laid some time ago when there were no telephones, no electric lights, no automobiles, no radios, no airplanes. What an age for an Amici. And what do you invent, Don? Well, my first invention is a device. Say, that reminds me of a spaghetti fork I invented once. You turn a crank on the handle and it winds the spaghetti up just like on a reel. Where'd you get the idea for your spaghetti fork, Bill? Out of my noodle. I see. Well, Don, what else do you invent? Well, as the story unfolds, I perfect in you. You know, that reminds me of the invention I once thought of, an electric iron to iron out the squares and waffles. What else do you do in the picture, Don? Well, in the field of chronology, I did that. Chronology? Say, you ought to see the alarm clock that I invented once. It rings an hour later than the time you set it for. You know, for people who want to sleep late. Well, Don, your picture certainly sounds great. What's the title? If I start out, do you think I'll make it? It looks like a fast track. Well, it's called Genius in the Family, produced by Jack Skirball and Bruce Manning Productions. And it's about a man. It's a great theme, Don. And now I know you're anxious to hear what we're presenting in this theater next week. It's the appealing story of... Sounds fascinating, Bill. Good night. Now, wait a minute, Don. Maybe we can strike a bargain here. You tell us one thing you invent in your next picture, and we'll call it the truth. Okay, Bill. I invented a machine gun, but I didn't know why until tonight. It's to mow down people who interrupt you. Now, what's your play for next week, Bill? Next Monday night, we're bringing back Jimmy Stewart with Marsha Hunt in David O. Selznick's screen hit made for each other. It's the touching story of a young married couple who face their problems with courage and humor. Two average Americans played by two talented engaging stars. And Jimmy and Marsha were made for each other in those parts, too, Bill. Good night. Good night. You've given us a most pleasant visit. May I leave you with this seasonal reminder. A menace at home and not dispelled by victory is tuberculosis. Help fight this dread disease by Christmas seals generously so that you can share with a national tuberculosis association in stamping out this constant threat. Buy Christmas seals. Use them on all your Christmas mail. Our sponsors, the makers of Lux Flakes, join me in inviting you to be with us again next Monday evening when the Lux Radio Theatre presents Jimmy Stewart and Marsha Hunt in Made for Each Other. This is William Keely saying good night to you from Hollywood.