 Hollywood, California, Monday, May 3rd. The Lutz Radio Theatre presents Claudette Colbert and Joel McCrae in hands across the table. Presents Hollywood. Our stars, Claudette Colbert, Joel McCrae, Walter Pigeon, and Gloria Holden. Our guests, Sheila Graham, Hollywood newspaper correspondent, and Earl Hayes with unusual facts about strange jobs in pictures. Our producer, Cecil B. DeMille. Our conductor, Louis Silvers. Looking over the footlights, I see many motion picture celebrities in our audience, too. Greetings. The makers of Lutz Toilet Soap welcome you and all the world to another hour in Hollywood. And the Lutz Radio Theatre is on the air. Introduce me, Tommy. She's a piece. When you hear men talk like that about a girl, you can be sure of one thing. She's a girl with clear, smooth skin. A girl who's smart enough to keep her complexion free of those unattractive little blemishes, dullness, and enlarged pores that mean cosmetic skin. She's probably a girl who's taken a tip from Hollywood. Removes cosmetic thoroughly with Lutz Toilet Soap. For the active lather of this pure complexion soap, removes from the pores every hidden trace of dust, dirt, stale rouge, and powder. No dangerous pore choking. No gradual loss of beauty. It's foolish and needless to risk cosmetic skin. Lutz Toilet Soap guards against it. And now, our producer. Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Cecil B. DeMille. Greetings from Hollywood, ladies and gentlemen. Tonight's event, with its glittering stage, its scientific wizardry that carries our voices to all corners of the earth, and its audience of millions, is a thing that I couldn't have predicted when I first knew Claudette Colbert and Jorah McRae. A Lux Radio theater was then as remote from Hollywood as the moon. But I predicted the eventual triumph of these two young people, and was privileged to contribute to it. I gave Jorah McRae his first motion picture contract. Claudette was not then the favorite of millions, allowed to choose her stories, directors, and writers. The studio insisted I give her a dialogue test before casting her. I did. And starred her in The Sign of the Cross and Cleopatra. This is Claudette's fourth appearance in the Lux Radio theater. So you've already heard the story of her birth in France or Gerhud in New York and her success on the stage before coming to Hollywood. Lately, her Parisian background has been catching up with her. Claudette's newest picture, just completed at Paramount Studios, is called I Met Him in Paris. And in her next film, Tovarish, she becomes a Russian exile in Paris. Tonight, she's all-American, as she plays the part of Reggie in Vineyard Elma's story of a manicurist hands across the table. In 1849, while Claudette's forebears were witnessing the setting up of the Second French Republic, Joel McRae's grandfather, Albert Whipple, jumped on a covered wagon and rushed to California in the Goldfield. He remained to establish San Francisco's first hotel, the Whipple House. Joel's ancestors, it seems, were intent on giving Hollywood one of its few native-born stars. For another grandfather, Major John McRae, marched west with the army in the 1870s to fight Apache Indians. I was unable to get Joel for a part in the Plainsmen, but Paramount has persevered and will star him in another story of the West, Wells Fargo. Samuel Goldman is the producer of Joel's latest film, Woman Chases Man. Which procedure he reverses tonight in the role of Ted Drew? As Alan Macklin, we bring you Walter Pigeon, who first went on the stage as a singer with Elsie Janus. Gloria Holden, heard tonight as Vivian, is now playing opposite Paul Muney in the film The Life of Emil Zola. But let's begin our play. Our stars stand in the wings ready to enter. A hand is on the switch that sends the curtain upward. Lights flood the stage, and the Lux Radio Theatre presents Claudette Colbert and Joel McRae in hands across the table. The barbershop in the arcade of the Hotel Carton. At a white enamel table in the rear of the tiled room, Reggie Kane, a manicurist, is polishing her own fingernails. There's a suggestion of a scowl on her pretty face as she attacks her fingers savagely with a buffer. Nona Gilhooly, her not-too-brilliant girlfriend, has traced the cause of Reggie's peeve to a hectic trip on the subway. Yeah, Reggie, I know exactly how you feel. When I got into the subway, I fell a step right on my foot. I wouldn't mind if they only stepped on it. It's the bearing down that gets me. You know, Reggie, you should have married that hardware court. Yes, it's a nice car. Oh, it didn't match my dress. Oh, he'd have painted it another color, dear. He was crazy about you. Nona, you're wonderful. You always get right to the bottom of things, don't you? Huh? Well, another day just like the rest of them. Oh, no, Reggie, today's a lucky day. What did you do? Find a horseshoe in the subway? Oh, Reggie, how could they get horses into the subway? No, it's lucky because my numerology book says so. It says all the aldries are good. It's a fifth day in the fifth month, and five and five are ten. That's right, and three and three, six. I can play, too. It's a numerology. You just put it all together. I put it all together, and it spells horse feathers. Reggie, Reggie. Yes? Room 1502 has been yelling for a manicurist. You better get going. 1502? Yeah. Up where the rich lives. Who is it? A Mr. Macklin. Married? That makes two things I forgot to ask him on the phone. What he had for breakfast and whether he's married or not. Macklin, I know him. He's awful rich. Yeah, yeah, you go ahead, Reggie. Maybe here's the ten million dollars you've been dreaming about. The way I feel today, I'd settle for a hundred thousand. All right. That one hasn't been manicured since yesterday. You have one every day? Oh, yes. Some people play golf to pass the time. Some go in for tap dancing. Some destroy clay pigeons. I have manicured. On behalf of the manicurist union, I thank you. Oh, it's I who must thank the union. You see, a manicure takes 40 minutes. That leaves the day only 23 hours and 20 minutes long. You forgot to take time out for sleeping. Well, I'm not very good at sleeping. Do you see that photograph on the piano? Mm-hmm. I noticed it before. He's very attractive, isn't he? See, he looks something like... Is it your brother? No, it's a picture of me taken four years ago. Oh. That was before my legs were twisted up in an auto accident. In those days, when I wanted a manicure, I could walk to the shop. You don't mind my rambling on like this, do you? No, of course not. I'm still a little afraid of meeting new people. Why? Well, frankly, I'm always afraid they'll feel sorry for me. What? When you live like this? You just try getting up at seven in the morning, then jammed in the subway, then poking at people's hands all day, then jammed back in the subway again at night. Oh, mister, I don't feel sorry for you. Thanks. You're sick now, but one of these days, you'll hop right out of that chair. I'll never hop out of this chair. Oh, oh, see, I didn't know. Oh, that's all right. Don't you worry about me. Say, I'll be needing lots of manicures. Every day? Every day. You won't forget? Forget? You may not realize it, Mr. Macklin, but you're talking to an elephant. Alan Macklin, that's the fifth new dressing gown you've worn in three weeks. You're getting to be a regular fashion place. They call me Bo Macklin. How are the nails? Just about perfect. They didn't really need anything to start with. But my 40 minutes aren't up. What can I do for you? Well, you might do nothing. Pretend to be one of the idle rich and see how you like it. Oh, Peter. Yes, sir? Chee on the terrace, please, for two very rich people. It's ready, sir. Chee, you're lucky. Why? You don't have to pretend. To be rich? You think a lot about money, don't you, Reggie? You don't have to think about it. You've got it. Yes. The thing we haven't got is always the most important thing. It may be money or it may be love. Oh, love. I don't want anything to do with it. That's what you say now, Reggie. You may even mean it. I mean it all right. But money isn't a good enough aim for you. I wish I could show you how valueless it is. No, I'm afraid you can't, Alan. I saw my mother count pennies and cook and clean and struggle. After 10 years of that, she was old and ugly. That's not going to happen to me. I see. That's what love can get you into. You see what I mean? I think I do. Well, I didn't mean to let down my back hair quite so far. That's what you get for encouraging me. Oh, don't worry about that. You certainly seem to know what you want anyway. I know a lot of things. You do indeed, and you'll forget them all when the right man comes along. No, I won't. You can't blame me for wanting the things I do, can you? A car, pretty clothes and fur... Every woman wants them, only I admit it. Well, back to the grind. You've had enough for one day. Goodbye, Alan. Goodbye. Peter will see you to the door. Mm-hmm. He always does. Oh, Alan, I feel like a chiseler when I take your money. Isn't it funny? I guess it's because you're the only real friend I've got. Thanks, Reggie. This has been very pleasant. I'll see you tomorrow, huh? You sure you can stand me now? Confessions and all? Confessions and all, Reggie. Goodbye, Alan. Goodbye. By hopping around car it is like that. I guess I busted your bowl. You guessed. I was playing hopscotch. Hopscotch? Yeah, indoor hopscotch. It's not up to turf and field hopscotch, but it's hopscotch nonetheless. You see the floor here? It's checkered. Now, if you hop from one black square to the other black square, that counts four points. You get the idea? I get the idea. You want to play? No, thank you. Well, every man who is on sport, but you'll be sorry when I'm champion. Going down? Down, please. Reggie, that customer is waiting for you. You mean the fellow who followed me in? I know. I told him I was busy. What? Don't you know who he is? Yes. He's the future hopscotch champion. I'm not interested in hopscotch. Yeah, you poor sap. He's a multimillionaire. A society big shot. What? That's... Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. Now I must let him get away from me. So sorry. Hi. I thought you were busy. My appointment was canceled. Oh. Shall we begin? Sure. Are you... Are you really, Theodore Drew? So I've always been told, why? You don't look like my idea, Theodore Drew III. I know. I've had a lot of complaints about it from my parents. Your mother says I'm a throwback to my great-grandfather. He was a pirate. Honest? No, a pirate. Oh. I was in the Navy myself for a while until Dad yanked me. He said the thought of my being a sailor made him seasick. Ouch. I've been stabbed. Oh. Oh, I'm terribly sorry. Stabbed in the cuticle. What a way to die. Oh. It's never happened before. Will you please excuse me? No, it's perfectly all right. Ouch. Oh, I'm terribly sorry. Uh, is the... This isn't your first manicure, is it? No, it isn't. If you think I ought to have ether, don't be afraid to say so. No, honestly, I've only cut someone once before. Ah. Oh, then I'm your second manicure. No, there have been quite a few. Oh. Uh, how did you decide to become a manicurist instead of taking up, say, pearl diving? Hmm? Oh, I'm not really interested in manicuring. I gathered that. Uh, what does fascinate you? Polo. I'm simply mad over polo. Oh, really? What position do you play? Oh, I don't play myself. I just, uh, follow me. Where? Oh, all over. Uh, I was just reading an article on polo in a magazine. Really? Yes, it's so thrilling when they come galloping down the diamond on those dear little ponies with the mallets flying and the, the, the, the chuckers. Oh, I just love chuckers. I play chess myself. Ouch. Oh. Oh, dear, again. Perfectly all right. I've got plenty of fingers left yet. Oh, really? I don't know what's the matter with me. Look, look, are you, uh, are you doing anything tonight? Do we? Oh, no. I mean, why? Uh, well, would you mind feeding me? I'm afraid I won't be able to hold a fork. You mean go to dinner? Yes, but I'll have to leave about 12, though. I'm going out of town. Well, that's all right. I'll call it seven. No dressing. No seven dressing. I mean seven, no dressing. I'll give you my address. Dinner. Oh, you leave that to me. Do I look all right? Oh, you look well ready. Not be refined. You know what a man like he is used to. I'll be a lady all right. I've been practicing this for years. Or of war. See you in the society page. It's all right, I guess. Goodbye, darling. I was lost in a book. Lucky for me, you found your way out. What was it about? Poetry. I'm crazy about poetry. I thought it was polo. I beg your pardon. I didn't say anything. Excuse me. You know, young lady, you stand on the threshold of the greatest experience in life. Until we entered this restaurant, you'd only been existing. Now, you're about to live. I envy you. What is it? Onion soup. Onion soup? Say it with reference, please. This is the finest onion soup in the world. Waiter. Yes, sir. Your orders, sir? Waiter, bring some onion soup. Quantities of it. Bring me a great vat. Yes, sir. And you, Madame? Cup. In a cup? In a cup. So that's your gratitude. No. You have a hiccup. Oh, yes, I'm terribly sorry. I'm lucky. So happens that you're sitting across the table from one of the world's most imminent hiccup specialists. I'm glad to hear it. Now, you do just as I do. Take your glass. Here, and drink from the other side, like this. Yeah. See? From the outer rim. Come on, do it. Like this? Yeah, that's it. Keep on. Now, you won't have hiccups again for a year. Plies when you're having fun. That's the stubborn case. I can tell with the shape of your head. I don't know how I got them. Some types are susceptible to them. You know, I read a long article on hiccups once. It said that they can always be avoided, but giving in to them shows a lack of willpower. Yeah. No kidding. Nobody has to have hiccups. No, I guess that's right. Of course it is. My dear girl. Oh, for sure. I'm taking you home. Oh, thanks. You've been in too many clubs already. And it's 1130. Didn't you say you had to leave town at 12? You really haven't time to take me home. You're a gentleman, Reggie, but so am I. Always treat a gentleman as you would a gentleman. But, Ted. I'm checked out of the hotel bags and all. I only need five minutes. I've had a wonderful evening, really. Thank you, lady. I don't remember when I've had a better time. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. If, uh, if when you come back and, uh, and you, uh, care to call, I could give you my number. I mean, I could write it down, see, in case you've forgotten it. Ted. Huh? Oh, oh, yeah, yeah. Do you do that? I'd like to call you. Let's see. I ought to be back the 11th. I can't see you the 12th, though. Yeah, I'm getting married the 12th. Married? Yeah. I could see you the next day, probably. Yeah. Yeah, I suppose you want to go on a honeymoon. Well, they all want to go on a honeymoon. Slave's their passion. That's what we are. What's good enough for a father is good enough for us. Yeah. What would happen if they were less honeymoon? Right. A good thing, too. This whole business is a vicious circle. I'm tired of it. Ted. Ted. Are you a slave? Hey, lady. Yes, I know. Wake up. He, he's a slave. Yeah? Want me to help you get him upstairs? No, he doesn't live here. Besides, he has to go out of town, and he only has 15 minutes. That's time enough, lady. No passenger of mine's missed the train in 10 years. What train does he go on? Why, I don't know. Oh, Mr. Drew. He moved. That's a good sign. Keep talking to him. Have you any idea where he's going? It might strike a re, a responsible chord, you know? Ted, do you want to go to Newport? Lady, this is no season for Newport. Try somewhere else. Palm Beach. All night either, lady. You better let me carry him upstairs. But you get for all right. Department 12, put him on the couch. I'm terrific at the fireman's list. All right. Mr. Feodor Drew III was the weekend guest of the Mrs. Kane and Gil Hoolie. The young millionaire enjoyed a pleasant nap. Let's listen in over at one of the major studios. It's after hours, and in one of the executive offices, two hard-working secretaries are talking over the day. Phew. Sometimes I think I'd like to go back to New York where there aren't so many temperaments. But you're just tired tonight, too. The boss doesn't have the jumps every day. No, that's right, James. Usually he's an angel. Only tonight I happen to have a big date, and here I am as limp as a rag. Never mind, Sue. I'll tell you what to do. Soon as you get home, you hop into a nice, warm, luxe toilet soap bath. Better than a nap for pepping one up. Makes you feel swell, and you're sure you're dainty, too. You just try it and see. Sue will find that attractive little secretary is right. A luxe toilet soap bath does pep you up, and its active lather protects daintyness. It frees the pores of perspiration every last trace of dust and dirt. This pure white soap leaves skin smooth, really fresh, fragrant with a delicate perfume fastidious women love. Remember, nine out of ten screen stars use luxe toilet soap. Mr. DeMille takes us back to our play. Claudette Colbert and Joel McCrae continue with Hands Across the Table. Theodore drew the third while still asleep on the couch when Reggie and Nona left for work the following morning. It's later in the day, and Reggie is in Alan Macklin's suite at the hotel. She seems strangely preoccupied as she goes about her daily routine. Anything wrong, Reggie? What? Oh, no, no, no. No, this is just getting dull. What did you do last night? Last night? Well, nothing much. Have a date? Yeah, daughter. Young woman, you're pulling your punches. Out with it now. Who was it? Theodore drew the third. Who? Theodore drew the third. Well, you don't look very happy about it. Wasn't it fun? That's the trouble. Oh, it was so much fun. What'd you do? We went out to dinner and then to a lot of different places and dance. Yes, he can dance, of course. Is he handsome? Well, he's sort of crazy. You like him, Reggie, huh? Yes. Yes, I could, Alan, but... But he's going to be married. How did you know? If it's printed in the papers, Reggie, I know it. Who is he going to marry? Miss, uh, let's see. Miss Snowden, Vivian Snowden, I think. Her father's aim is Snowden, the one they call a pineapple king. I see. I hate pineapples. A lot of people must like him. She's enormously rich. Oh, no, that's funny, isn't it? He's rich and she's richer, so they're getting married. Well, why didn't you convince him he ought to marry a poor girl? I tried to. I certainly tried to. Until I found out he was engaged. I think I even tried a little after that. Why? Because you was Theodore Drew III or because you liked him pretty well? Because he... No, I haven't changed. I still say money's the most important thing. There I go telling you the story of my life again. I bet you could hardly wait for the next installment. Well, I'm back from the hard days' toilet. Make yourself at home, Reggie. That's what I've been doing all day. But I didn't think you'd still be here. Well, I couldn't leave. I didn't have the fare. But you didn't have the fare. Railroad fare? I haven't even got bus fare. I spent it all last night. Why didn't you wire home for it? Oh, that's very funny. Oh, yes, sir. You see, Reggie, I've missed my boat. Oh, it was a boat! Well, there's a run of the boat, don't say? Get some more money and take one. Why do you persist in saying I can get money? I have no money. You mean you haven't. What about your father? Well, father's living abroad. He had an amazing ability for borrowing money from practically total strangers. Unfortunately, this ability is not hereditary. I'm broke. How could the droves be broke? You remember that thing called a crash? That was us. Why, we even lost the dollar that my great-great-uncle caught in Washington threw it across the Potomac. And where did you get your boat ticket? Oh, that was an engagement present from my fiance's father. He was shipping me off to Bermuda because he didn't want me hanging around the house while I was getting ready for the wedding. You know, it wouldn't look right. Were you living at his house? Uh-huh. Well, pardon me if I seem to ask a personal question, but have you ever thought of going to work? Certainly not. What am I trained to work at? Did I say something? What? We're exactly alike. Oh, no. Your hair is much prettier than mine. We're both trying to do the same thing. Marry for money. Is that what you want to do? Oh, you're too nice for that. You think I want to work in a barbershop all my life? Oh, but to go out and cold blood and deliberately marry for money. Well, what are you doing? Oh, well, it's all right for me to do it. I'm a heel. Well, did I ever say I wasn't one? Well, well, well. Both members of the same club shake. Well, now what are your plans? Plans? Well, you know, I've been thinking. How about taking me in as a border? What? Just until my boat gets back from Bermuda. Oh, I couldn't do that. Why not? You helped me get into this trouble. Isn't it only fair that you should help get me out? Well, I suppose so, but... Well, I couldn't do that. Now, that wouldn't look right. Why not? Don't forget. I'm practically a married man. I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll wash dishes and I'll even cook for you and your girlfriend. Come on, I'll be a good kid and help me out. After all, I can't go back to old man Snowden's. He doesn't like people who miss boats. Well, uh... R.G. Fang. No, I haven't said anything yet. But, I guess it'll be all right. Who are you calling, Randy? Ted, I want to see how he's getting on. He was getting on swirl when you spoke to him an hour ago. That'll be enough out of you. Hello? Hello, hello. Isn't this Madison 93427? Oh, yeah, but Miss Reggie, she's no home. Who is this? This is our Honorable Japanese boy. Well, isn't that just dandy? He's putting on an act. And when did Miss Reggie get an Honorable Japanese boy? Oh, yesterday. Oh, you're crazy. Thank you. All right, Togo, how are you getting along with your lunch? I can't say boil them. I said broil them. That's the third lunch you've spoiled. What? Maybe eightish. Goodbye. Is he getting on all right? I guess he'll live. I'll drive him. You can put this up a things away. Sure. Say, I meant to ask you, what do you do with butter that's left over? You put it in that thing they call an icebox. It's a new invention. Mm, very clever, too. What won't they think of next? Is anything exciting happen today? No, very dull. Oh, some flowers came for you again. I saw them. They're from Alan. Who's Alan? He's my best friend. He always said me daffodils. He says they can think of me. I thought your big idea was a man you'd remind of orchids. At least I don't remind him of pineapples. Oh, that was a foul blow. You did your good. Your best friend. Is he rich? Sure. That's nice. It's right in with your plans, doesn't it? But your ideas of marrying for money haven't changed, have they? Certainly not. Have yours? No, once a heel, always a heel. That's our slogan. You know, daffodils are kind of like you with that. Say, I just thought I'm in Bermuda. Good. I'm in Greenland. No, no, no. This is serious. I'm supposed to be in Bermuda and Vivian my telephone. What'll I do? We'll telephone her first. What? From New York? Yes. Come on, I'll show you. I shall make you general of all my armies for that suggestion. Only you've got to tell her I'm calling from Bermuda. Oh, no, no, no. I'm keeping out of this. No, you're going to be the operator. Oh, no, not that. Listen, I get it. Come on, come on. All right, what's her number? Murray Hill, 82793. Murray Hill, 82793. This is going to be good. And don't laugh. Hello? Go ahead, please. Take it away, Bermuda. Hello, Vivian. Hello, Ted. Can you hear me? Yes, darling. Fine. Cut it out, will you? The call. Can you hear me? Yes, yes, I can hear you. Can you hear me? Yes, I can operate. The call. It's perfectly clear if it only let us alone. Hello, Ted. Ted, are you there? Mr. Drew doing setting up exercises. I told you. What makes you think you have them? Did you make a noise in here? I guess so. I just fell off the couch. What you heard was my head versus floor. Are you hurt? Hurt, Sire. I'm killed. Oh, I'm sorry. What's happened every night only? You sleep like a sailor and you never hear me. Do you dream? No. Then what's the matter? I can't sleep on a narrow bed. Oh, that is not too bad. Well, maybe it'd be all right if I was tucked in. You know, with a chair against the side here. Or could you tuck me in? Well, I'd better if I wanted to get me sleep. Right nearly up tomorrow if we're going on that picnic. There you are. How's that? Swell. You know, you're almost as good at tucking me in as my mother was. Thank you. Was there anything else your mother did? Oh, yes, yes. Before she turned out the light, she always kissed me goodnight. Sorry. I'm only almost as good as your mother was. Bo-bo-bo-bo-bo-bo. Well, how's that? Pretty good. Just giving the birds a little competition. Say, you know, that's not a bad voice. I didn't think of doing anything with it. Such as shutting up? Well, you know, sometimes people who can sing a job doing it. A lot of them even get paid even. Are you suggesting some form of industry for me? Well, it's nice work, they say. If you can't get it, say how often do I have to ask you not to use nasty words like work and job? I'm sorry. I keep forgetting. Oh, but Ted, you must have a lot of friends who could give you a job. It would be a fine friend that would give you a job. No friend of mine would better try anything like that on me. You and your ideas. Well, they're no different from yours. You're really serious, aren't you? Well, sure, aren't you? Hey! Oh, sure I am. Good. Now, let's talk about something else. All right, what? Well, a sky, for instance. Those clouds. They're all right, aren't they? They're all right. I've never seen them so beautiful before. Maybe they never have been. Have they, Reggie? No, not to me. Neither. Reggie. What? All right, let's go home, huh? Yes. Yes, it does look a little like rain. Let's take a look at you. Sunburn and in the pink of condition. You think I'll pass as a vacation tomorrow? Mm-hmm. If she doesn't decide to meet you at the boat. You know that sun ray lamp was a great idea of yours, Reggie. Thanks. Well, it's all over. We had a lot of laughs, didn't we? Yeah, we had a lot of laughs. I never had so much fun in my whole life. Neither did I. Remember that first night? When I had hiccups. And you mean when we had hiccups? There's a lot of things I'll remember. I'll remember them too. Well, well, I... I'm awfully tired, Ted. Wait, Reggie. Will you come back and tuck me in again? Must I? It'll be for the last time. Yes. Reggie, remember what my mother used to do? Or just this once, Reggie. For going away. That's a good reason. Reggie. Oh, I... I forgot about that boat. You'd better look in the paper and see what time it gets in. Reggie, wait. We're getting late. I'll be gone when you... when you get up tomorrow. I want to speak to you. What about? About... about us, Reggie. Oh, no, don't. Why not? There's a million miles between us. Oh, it doesn't seem that far. Ted, we're not for each other. I think we are. In six months you'd hate me. You'd have to. Oh, I know I wouldn't. I'm afraid I know better. Year in and year out, probably for the rest of your life, you'd have to scratch for a living in a world you know nothing about. Aren't you doing it? I'm used to it. Well, I'd get used to it. You know, Ted, it's too late. Believe me, you couldn't fit yourself to being poor. Other people have done it? Yes, but you couldn't. You'd always know you could have been rich again if you hadn't been foolish. You'd be thinking of that all the time. Ted, marry the rich one. Believe me, from the bottom of my heart, if I were you, that's what I'd do. Good night. This is KMX, Los Angeles, the voice of Hollywood. Claudette Colbert and Joel McCray will continue holding hands across the table in a moment. And now we welcome Miss Sheila Graham in a return engagement. Correspondent for the North American Newspaper Alliance, Miss Graham is one of the loveliest young ladies ever to come to Hollywood and not go into pictures. She's just turned down screen tests from three of our leading studios, including my own, preferring her job of keeping 20 million readers informed of what's new in Hollywood. Formerly a musical comedy dancer in England, she's here before leaving shortly for a vacation abroad. Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Sheila Graham. All right, Sheila, what's Hollywood doing now? Well, Mr. DeMille, since you mentioned England, the most highly paid entertainer in the British Empire is now in Hollywood, and nobody knows her. She's Gracie Fields, who's doing a picture for 20th Century Fox. When Gracie introduces herself to the stars, they think she's another autographed hunter, and nothing amuses her more. But she has made friends with Shirley Temple, who calls her Auntie Gracie. Clark Gable is now enjoying such a wave of popularity that he has to use the tradesman's entrance to get to his apartment. He lives at the Beverly Wilshire Hotel. He never could get in by the front door and used to enter through the garage, but now he has to go home with the butcher and the baker. Errol Flynn, back in town after a peak at the war in Spain, is showing a collection of 500 photographs that no correspondent is able to get. James Stewart is in the hospital with a bad knee, the result of falling down too many times at Ginger Rogers' recent skating party. Jimmy also loves flying, but his studio insists he stay on the ground for fear he'll get hurt. So Jimmy amuses himself in the hospital by flying a miniature plane which he made himself around the room. William Powell tells me he's suffering from an inferiority complex and wants to be like Gary Cooper, but don't we all? He'll be suffering from a cold too unless he changes his habit of walking around the house in his bare feet. Simone Simone denies that she's practicing to become a singer, but the neighbors will tell you otherwise. Loretta Young complains there are no eligible for Hollywood for escort and dancing partners. Her definition of an ideal type of man is David Niven, because he knows how to open a door when a lady leaves the room. Maybe she's right about the lack of men on you because Margaret Lindsay and Janet Gaynor have been playing solitaire for a long, long time. That continues to surprise me, but not nearly as much as the wonderful complexions you see in Hollywood. Maybe it's the climate, but if you ask me, Lux Toilet soap has a great deal to do with it too. It's my business to see the stars in their homes and to ask a great many questions. Frankly, it's amazing to see how popular Lux Toilet soap is and to hear the stars become so enthusiastic over such an inexpensive beauty care. Take my word for it, it must be good. But where was I? Oh yes, Olivia de Havilland also walked alone and likes it. She'll spend two hours hiking in the hills before breakfast and come home carrying her shoes and stocking. It's getting to be a habit. Edward G. Robinson is just as popular as ever at parties in spite of the fact that he recites on the road to Mandalay, whether you ask him to or not. Claudette Colbert turns out to be quite a skater in her new picture. She met him in Paris. Ice skating reminds me of Sonia Henley, which reminds me of Tarone Power. Their romance began when his studio wanted someone to pose with Tarone for publicity pictures. They chose Sonia. Tarone's respect for publicity then has gone up. But now, Mr. de Mol, if the audience is half as anxious as I am to hear Claudette Colbert and Joel McCrae, they'll be most happy to learn my next disclosure, which is, all my thanks and goodbye. I'll listen for you in London. That'll let me make that screen test. Once again, hands across the table starring Claudette Colbert and Joel McCrae. It's early the next morning. With Ted gone, the apartment seems a cold and cheerless place to see Reggie. She stands by the window, gazing thoughtfully down into the street. Nona, rest her work, comes from the bedroom. You'd better hurry, Reggie. It's almost time. Right away. What are you standing there for? You look sad, Reggie. Do I? That's funny. Is it Ted? You were sort of crazy about him, weren't you? I knew nothing would come of it, though. The Audrey's were all wrong, Reggie, right from the beginning. The day I met him, you told me they were good. Yeah, but then I didn't know about Venus. Venus? Yeah, she was in the wrong place. Nona, Nona, what star or number is it that makes a man a coward? I'll never mind, never mind. Come on. Come on, let's go. Reggie, we've got a job for you upstairs. Yes? Room 1294. Some big society girl wants to be clipped. It'll be a pleasure. She asked for you, especially, Reggie. Hello, room 1294. Thank you. Who is that, Helen? The manicurist will be right up, Miss Noden. Oh, you got the one I asked for? Yes, Miss Noden. Oh, your father called a few minutes ago. Mr. Drew went up to the house this morning after his boot docked. Oh, you did did it. Your father told him you were down here at the hotel. Thank you, Helen. I'll answer that. Come in, please. You sent for a manicurist? Yes. Yes. Come in. Sit down over there a minute, please. I'll be ready for you. Your name is Reggie Kane, isn't it? Yes. When you called for me, I thought I must have done your nails before. No, no. The manager said you were the best. That's how I happened to... Oh, say that. Nice of her. Will you tell me something about your profession? How do all men attempt to make dates with manicurists the minute they sit down? Is it because they are more or less holding hands already? I think that's a little exaggerated. No, no. Not from what I hear. Every man I know who has an evening or his hands says, I guess I'll get a manicure. Does he? So I don't think he always succeeds. Oh, I can see you're an exception. That's why you only go out with men like Sid or Drew the Third, for instance. Oh. And how are you today, Mrs. Snowden? But very well, thank you. Well, you may go now. I didn't want a manicure. I wanted to see what you were doing. Oh. I didn't want a manicure. I wanted to see what you were like. And that didn't take very long. You see, it's like this. When Ted telephoned from New York and said he was in Bermuda, I engaged a detective to find out what part of New York and that's where you came in. Before you say any more, can I say something? No, no. It's very unnecessary. He was going to take the boat to Bermuda, but he didn't. You don't have to tell me anything. But I must tell you, it was crazy it may seem to you there's nothing between Ted and me. You don't have to explain anything. And least of all, do you have to lie. Ted's known manicurist before. He seems to have a liking for them. I've never minded very much. My only purpose in seeing you is to find out if you were any different from the ordinary manicurist. Now that I've met you, my dear Reggie Cain, I think my fears are quite groundless. I think I'd better go. No, wait a moment. I think there's one thing we haven't covered yet. Mr. Drew, as you probably found out, I'm sorry for the moment. And I think it's only fair you should be paid for a weak manicure. You better be careful, Miss Snowden. I have an awfully good aim with this bowl of water. Just let me find my purse, please. It won't be necessary. Mr. Drew will find that for you. What a day to be late, Reggie. Oh, I'm sorry. My hangnails have been screaming for you. I called downstairs for you twice. I wasn't there for a while. I went out. Another patient? I wanted you early today. I've got something to say to you. What? Well, I don't know how to begin. Reggie. Reggie, what's the matter? Nothing. Well, you look as if your face looks... Reggie. Oh, Ellen. What is it, Reggie? No. No, don't talk yet. Just let me get this off my chest. That's right. Have it out. Oh, Ellen. Oh, Ellen. You don't know what... Oh, no. It can't be as bad as that. Yes, it is. It's terrible. Can't you tell me about it, Reggie? It's dead. He's gone back to that girl. You did let yourself fall in love with him, right? Yes. How do you like that? Me. Hard boil, Hannah. I was going to fall in love with a bankroll. Oh, Ellen. Ellen, take a look at a prize dumbbell. I'm sorry, Reggie. No, don't be sorry for me. It serves me right. It serves me right for going back on everything I ever believed. I should have run like mad when I saw what was happening. But not me. No, not your Aunt Ella. I jumped at it. I wanted to get bitten. Well, I got it. Oh, Ellen. You can't run away from love, Reggie. It just comes. I know how you feel. I've been through it. I told you how my love threw out the window when I cracked up. We're a fine pair, Reggie. You and I ought to be ideally happy because we're through with love. Well, those are the only people who ever are happy, I guess. You think I'm a good egg, don't you? Well, that's fair. And I think you're completely swell. Let you and I get married. You could marry me for my money and I could marry you because you give such a good manicure. Oh, don't kid about it, Ellen. I'm not kidding. But I don't love you. Well, that's great. I don't love you either. Isn't that a sound basis for happiness? The more I think of it, the more I like it. What do you say? Is it a bet? Do we get married? We could never hurt each other, could we, Ellen? Oh. Honestly, you're the top. Now run downstairs and tell them you're quitting. All right. She look at my hair. I must look like a busted balerhead. Well, Peter? I called the captain, Mr. Maxon. He'll have the yacht ready by the first of the week. Fine, fine. I'll take it, sir. Miss Cain is a fine young lady. Thank you, Peter. Oh, this telegram came for you, sir. Oh, I'll take it. Come in. Oh, excuse me. Is she still up here? She who? Reggie, Reggie Cain, the girl who came up to give you a manicure. They told me she was up here. Oh, she stepped out for a moment. She'd be right back. Oh, swell. I'll wait if you don't mind. But surely there must be another manicurist in the barbershop? Why don't want a manicure? I want to ask her to marry me. To marry you? Yes, look, do you mind if I ask her to marry me on your time? It won't take a minute. Look, I'm terribly sorry. I suppose you must think I'm nuts. Let me introduce myself. I'm Theodore Drew. Yes, I rather thought so. You know me? Then she's told you about me. Uh-huh. Oh, that's fine, Sadie. You're supposed to be glad to see me. Do you think I'm too late? No, I don't think so. Oh. Hello, Reggie. Ted, what are you doing here? I just had a talk with Vivian. I told her what I've wanted to tell her ever since last night. But it's all off. The engagement, the marriage, the bankroll, everything. I'm broke, and I'm happy. What are you going to do? I'm going to get a job, and then I'm going to ask you if you will... Oh, wait. This...this is Mr. Macklin. Oh, yes, I know. We've just met. But listen, Reggie, what I want to ask you... Mr. Macklin and I, we're... we're going to be married. Oh. Oh, I see. We just got engaged a few minutes ago. Oh, I congratulate you, Reggie. Congratulations, Mr. Macklin. Well, I... I guess I'd better go, then. Goodbye, Reggie. Goodbye. Uh, wait a minute, Mr. Drew. I, uh... I just got some amazing news in this telegram. And, well, now I find myself in a spot. What do you mean, Alan? Well, if Mr. Drew hadn't come in, I... I suppose I'd have gone through with it. Alan, what are you talking about? This telegram is from Sharon. You know about her. The lady who took the walk-out powder. Uh-huh. It's from Reno. Listen. You were wrong. I couldn't forget you. I love you and want you. Leaving today, I am Sharon. Alan, is this straight? Of course it is. And it's what you want? Just as much as you want to marry Mr. Drew here. So if you release me, Reggie... Mr. Macklin, you're released. Reggie? Alan, if you want. Now run along, you two, and be happy. I've got a lot to do. Goodbye. Goodbye, Alan. Goodbye. Goodbye. Peter. Yes, Mr. Macklin? Take an answer to this telegram. To Sharon and company, brokers, 412 Wall Street, accept your suggestion regarding shares of UPA, by 500. Is that all, sir? That's all. Reggie Darling, have we been walking uptown or down town? Does it matter? No. What do we do now? Oh, we've got a lot of things to do. We have to eat lunch. I need a new lipstick. We've got to get married. And you've got to look for a job. What do we do first? We'll toss for it. Heads we get married first, tails we eat lunch. I'll toss it. Oh! Where'd it go? Where'd it go? Oh, it's out there in the street. No, no! Cuttin' on hands across the table. Claudette Colbert and Joel McRae will be herded again in just a minute. Hollywood is one of the world's most fascinating communities. A place within whose boundary lies all the world, and all the drama, comedy, and tragedy the world has ever known. After 25 years, I still find it as fabulous as the ancient city of Baghdad. A place where astonished visitors come to return home as modern Marco Polos with tales of the amazing ends that we willingly go to bring you better motion pictures. And then, that Hollywood should be the scene of some of the clearest occupations under the sun. The man you hear from now will tell you not only of his own strange job, but of some of the other oddities of Hollywood. Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Earl Hayes. Thank you, Mr. DeMille. My job, ladies and gentlemen, consists of being reporter, editor, make-up man, and publisher of most of the newspapers we see in motion pictures. Actually, I'm a printer, and the studios call on me when they need a newspaper to show on the screen, especially in a close-up. Real newspapers are very seldom if ever used. You and I know why, Earl, but I don't think our audience does. When you see a newspaper in a picture, the headlines of the item usually concern the characters in that picture. Being fiction, no real newspaper would ever have carried such a story. I can't use the name of an actual paper because the publisher might object. I can't use genuine news items either because they'd no longer be news by the time the film was released. So I write my own newspaper. I put the principal story, the one that has to do with the plot of the picture, in the position where it would probably be in a real newspaper. But all the other stories on the page must make sense too, just in case you're a fast reader and a little inquisitive, and want to see what else is in the news. What about some of your contemporaries in the unusual? Well, there's Purse Westmore of Warner Brothers. As head of the make-up department, he's classified as two types. There's the patriarchal variety, the Van Dykes, the Henry VIII, the Hobo and Western types, and the common housegrown variety. A good beard man is a real artist. It takes over three hours to put the beard on Paul Newney that you will see in the life of Amel Sola. Then take J.T. Chalmers. Mr. Chalmers makes glass for smashing. Many of the windows, the champagne glasses, the mirrors, they're shattered in pictures are his hand to work. He's a confectioner. And the glass you see broken is really candy so nobody will get hurt. There are men who spend their time making antique furniture or putting squeaks in rocking chairs. Another is an expert cobweb maker. And when you see a fire on the screen, the firemen aren't actors. There are members of the Los Angeles Fire Department spending their day off and making $10 each by acting in the movie. The city also lends its spare fire apparatus to pictures and the rental goes to charity. There are people who do nothing but rent bugs, insects and animals for the screen. You can get anything from an elephant to a horse fly on a moment's notice. They don't cost much either. A good skunk rents for $5 a day and a goat guaranteed to butt for $10. One of the oddest organizations in Hollywood is the Society of Little Men. This group consists of extras and bit players who are all adults but who are so short that they can play only play children parts. Children don't work at night in pictures. The little men are usually very busy little men at the studios. Yes, Hollywood's full of rarities but one of the greatest rarities is to find a star using anything but lux toilet soap. I know my wife started using it because she knew the stars do and figured it must be the best. Well, that was a good many years ago and I've never seen anything else but lux around the house since. I guess that's about the best recommender some person could give. It's a privilege of appearing on a program I listen to so often. Goodbye. Goodbye, editor. A bow from our stars. Ladies and gentlemen, Claudette Colbert and Joelle McCrae. Again, my thanks, Mr. Mr. Mill. To you, the sponsors and to the product which makes these programs possible. Lux toilet soap. I really prefer it from the days when I made my first public appearance on the stage. There's no element of experiment about lux. I'm sure that I'm giving my complexion the best care in the world. I'm sincerely glad to have had this chance to say a good word about it. And now I think you'd like to hear a word from Joelle McCrae. Well, Claudette, I've been so busy that I'm afraid I'm no source of news. Now that our show's over, I'm going back to the studio to work. But first of all, I want to thank you and our sponsors and thank you, Mr. Mill. Goodbye. Goodbye, Joelle. Goodbye, Claudette. Thank you, Ms. Colbert and Mr. McCrae. Ladies and gentlemen, Melville Ruick. News that will thrill you all comes to us from Mr. DeMille in just a moment. Our stars were supported tonight by Grace Kern as Nona Gilhoudi, Elizabeth Wilbur as Laura, John Gibson as Taxi Driver, Lou Merrill as Peter, Frank Nelson as Waiter, Harold Wilson as Bus Conductor, Catherine McEwn as a Maid, and Ross Forrester as a Barber. Ms. Colbert and Mr. DeMille appeared through courtesy of Paramount Studios, Mr. McCrae through Samuel Golden, Walter Pigeon, Universal Pictures, and Louis Silver's 20th Century Fox, where he supervised music for Café Metropole. Now, our producer. Look through the pages of history and you will find it difficult to encounter a more moving or more dramatic love story than the romance of Mary, Queen of Scots and the Earl of Bathwell. As dramatized by Maxwell Anderson and produced by the New York Theatre Guild, it was a triumph on Broadway and later a great motion picture. Next Monday night, Mary of Scotland will be produced in the Luxe Radio Theatre and I'm tremendously pleased to announce that the title role will be filled by Ms. Joan Crawford with her husband, Franchotone as Bathwell, and Judith Anderson as Queen Elizabeth. Our sponsors, the makers of Luxe Toilet soap, join me in inviting you to be with us again next Monday night when the Luxe Radio Theatre presents Joan Crawford, Franchotone and Judith Anderson in Mary of Scotland. This is Cecil B. DeMille saying goodnight to you from Hollywood. Fantastic system.