 Lux presents Hollywood. The Lux Radio Theatre brings you Bing Crosby, Bob Hope and Ginny Sims in The Road to Morocco. Ladies and gentlemen, your producer, Mr. Cecil B. DeMille. Greetings from Hollywood, ladies and gentlemen. All the producer needs to guarantee a smashing success at the box office these days is faith, hope, and Crosby. And our faith is considerably strengthened tonight by the addition of Ginny Sims. Bing and Bob hit the jackpot for Paramount with that epic drama of music and mirth called The Road to Morocco. And believe me, there's nothing wrong with your morale that The Road to Morocco won't cure. If you've seen the picture three or four times, like most people, you know that any resemblance of two characters in this play to a couple of living persons is no coincidence. They are really Bing Crosby and Bob Hope. The Road to Morocco comes pretty close to setting a record for the number of people who've asked us to present it. Since the Paramount picture came out, I've lost count of all the letters you've sent in closing Lux Toilet soap wrappers as your tickets to this play, if we could get it. Along with his soap wrappers, one man offered me a personal bribe of a porterhouse steak. Well, this is one theater where you don't have to pay to get in. It's our way of showing you that we appreciate the support you've given our product. The result is that you win two ways. You get a hit play like The Road to Morocco and a hit product like Lux Toilet soap. You can't beat that for a double bill. Now we're off on the Road to Morocco, starring Bing Crosby, Bob Hope, and Ginny Sims. The freighter star of Cape Town was sunk today off the coast of Africa by a series of mysterious explosions. All hands are safe and accounted for with the exception of two unidentified stowaways. Just a minute, though. All right, that's enough music. Hold it. Hold the music. Ladies and gentlemen, we aren't going to set a scene for tonight's play, for those two unidentified stowaways have been found. They're right here in the theater with us. These two boys are cousins, Jeff and Orville Peters. They went through this experience together, and we're going to hear about it in their own words. Orville Peters, will you tell us please about the time you spent on that raft after the shipwreck? 48 days in a raft. 48 days under the boiling sun without food and water. 48 days. What do you mean 48 days? It was 48 hours. We had plenty of water. Not just a minute, Jeff. What are you trying to do? Get a four-page spread in life or something? 48 days. Listen, who's telling this story? We're both telling it. You heard what the man said. The man said we're both supposed to tell it. Well, the man asked me to start, didn't he? All right, get it straight. All right, 48 hours in a raft. Better. 48 hours drifting helplessly on the sea. Oh, I didn't care about myself. It was, well, it was my cousin, Jeff, I was worried about. Oh, isn't this awful. Listen to him. Jeff was well. Jeff was all on edge. It got to the point where he was biting my fingernails. Cut it out. Will you, Jeff? Cut it out. Cut out that whistling. I can't stand it anymore. Yeah, no. Yeah. What's the matter, son? Whistling, whistling. All the time, whistling. Your mother must have been frightened by a tea kettle. Now, Orville, take it easy. Take it easy, he says. Look at us. Two on a raft, sunny side up. I'll tell you how to get home, you said. We'll stow away, you said. No, sir, I said. Don't be a sap, you said. No, sir, I said. We're stowing away, and that's that, you said. No, sir, I said. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What a very conversationalist you are. Yeah, I took one look at that sea going crate and I knew it would blow up in our faces. Wait till they find out who was smoking in the powder room. Never mind that. Now, look at us. Food gone. Nothing to eat. Say, hey, what's that bulge in your pocket there? Oh, that bulge? Oh, that's just a little. Now, what is it? Come on, let's see. Come on, reach. Well, I tell you, it's only. Well, what do you know? Look. Yeah, well, what do you know? Two biscuits. Holding out on me, huh? Well, I was going to wait for your birthday and put a candle on yours. Sweet, sweet. You don't mind if I bite into my portion, do you? No, go on, bite. What do I care? Thank you, Turkey. You can spit your teeth right over here next to mine. It's like biting into a blockbuster. Well, Turkey, we got to face it. We may be days and days and days without seeing ship or land. We're going to get hungry. I'd be hungry. What do you mean, get hungry? When we started, this raft was nine feet long. Tell you what we'll do. We'll toss a coin. You ready? Go ahead, toss. Here we go. Now, Turkey, you call it. What's the date on the nickel? Uh, 1910. You're right, 1910. But what month? June. That's pretty close. It's July. Well, what's the way it goes? Somebody loses, somebody wins. Okay, so you win the nickel. See if you can find any white meat on that buffalo. Turkey, old man, I have a TL for you. We tossed for something much deeper than that. Yeah? I remember a story once about two fellas like us, castaways and hungry. They tossed a coin too. Uh-huh. The fella who survived used to tell his grandchildren about his pal's sacrifice. Hey, that's for, hey, wait a minute. What pal's sacrifice? I don't know, though. You're all blubber, not much meat. You wouldn't make a good size patty-fatty. You mean you, Jeff, you're losing your buttons. You mean you'd eat me without ketchup? Don't do it, Jeff. There must be an easier way to get on we the people. Calm down. Now, calm down, Junior. I'm not going to do anything right away. I might not do anything for a week or so. Not until I get desperate. Oh, Jeff, listen, you wouldn't like me once I bit my tongue and I taste it awful. Help, Jeff. Don't help. Turkey, look, look over there. Am I seeing things? What's the matter? Look, it's land. Land? Land. We're saved. We're saved. Yeah, there was land. We jumped off the raft and started to swim to shore, but Jeff was weak and he couldn't make it. Who was weak? Who was that? So I put my arm around his waist. I just made it and started to swim with one hand. Boy, I saved his life that day. Oh, brother, get this. I pulled him up on the beach. He was all in unconscious. I started to work over on more. I worked for hours. Come on, Turkey. Turkey, come on, open your eyes. Open up, Junior. You'll be all right. Come on, boy. Come on, boy. Come on now. Come on. Gee, this is a switch, me getting slapped by a man. Say, what happened? Well, you tried to save me, Junior. Come on now. That's a big boy. Oh, stop slapping me. I'm conscious now, ain't I? Well, it's hard to tell with you. Yeah, fine, Pat, you are. All I hope is that Aunt Lucy's looking down from above and seeing the way you're treating me lately. Oh, you're going to start stuffing Aunt Lucy down my throat again. Yeah, well, never mind. She saw you tossing that coin and licking your chops. You're certainly sloughing off your promise to her, Aunt Lucy. Boy, I can see her now lying there in her dying bed, looking at you with those big, trusting eyes. Before I go, Jeff, promise me you'll always be a friend of little Orville, she said. No matter what happens, you'll never leave the little jerk, she said. Promise me. Yeah, and then she up and died before I had a chance to say no. Jeff, don't. What's the matter with you? Boy, I only hope she didn't hear that. You know, the dead have a way of coming back. Oh, get out. When they're dead, they're dead. Not Aunt Lucy. She was a Republican. She was such a good Republican, she had her will chiseled on a wokie button. Okay, Junior, okay. What we got to do now is find out where we are, is that right? Right. Let's see. Oh, look, there's a signpost. Hey, see what it says, the road to Morocco. Morocco, 74 miles. Last chance for gas and oil, fill up at Flanigans and keep to the right to let Ramo buy. Hey, what do you know? Listen, do you hear something? I didn't hear nothing. Listen. There. You catching up a coal, Junior? I didn't do that. It came from way over there, behind that sand dune. Well, jumped up Jehoshaphat. Look at that. It's a horse. A horse? Oh, did you ever hear of a horse with, with a long neck and two great big bumps on his back? Leaving yourself open, aren't you, Dad? I'll be silly. That's a camel. That's a ship of the desert. Right now we're going sailing. Come on, get up on that camel, Junior. Okay. Where do I sit? In that rumble seat, I'm going to steer. Boy, what a ride. This is the first time I ever did the rumble. Sit down. Come on, girl. Hang on, Junior. We're off on the road to Morocco. This taxi is tough on the spine. Where we're going, why we're going. We'll know by and by. But we'll meet Jenny soon. Or we'll know the reason why. We're off on the road to Morocco. What's your tempo? Hang on till the end of the line. I hear this country's where they do the dance of the seven bales. We tell you more, but we would have the sensor on our tails. We certainly do get around. Like Webster's dictionary, we're Morocco bound. We're off on the road to Morocco. Because here we come. Heat fire, sleep on nails and saw their wives in half. Seems to me there should be easier ways to get a laugh. We're off on the road to Morocco. And somewhere I feel kind of numb. For any villains we might meet, we haven't any fears. Paramount will protect us, because we're signed for five more years. We certainly do get around. Like a complete set of Shakespeare that you buy in the corner drug store at $1.98. We're Morocco bound. Or like a volume of Monochium that you buy in the department store at Christmas time for your cousin Julia. We're Morocco sundown at the quaint little Moroccan city of... What are you trying to do? Well it's my turn to tell the story now. Well, where? I'll be good too. All right, you won't be good. Well, we will arrive just at sundown. You can read all the lines. You just let me start, yeah. Standing there looking out the window. The quaint little Moroccan city of Katamish. We stood in the crowded marketplace watching the hawkers vending their wares. And the native rug peddlers ruddling their pegs. See what I mean? Everything was serene and then the gates of the town were flung open and 20 horsemen came riding into town. This occasioned a slight flurry of excitement. Right over here behind these goose pebbles. Well, I reckon there's been some sort of a shooting ruckus down at the Bacar Saloon, huh? Yeah, I ain't looking for trouble, partner. But if trouble comes to looking for me, I'm going to be might of hard of fire. Wonder what it was all about. Let's ask somebody. Let's ask that fellow there. Yeah, I know. Hey, you there. What's the excitement, grandparent? Who are those fellas? He is Mulle Kassim, the Desert Chic. What's he so excited about? Did he hear from his draft board? He loves the Princess Charlemagne of Katamish. He has come here to ask her to marry him. Must be a Donnybrook when he comes for a divorce, huh? So long, grandparent. Say, Jeff, I'm hungry. I wonder if you can get a hand out in this bird. Place looks like it's loaded with food. Look at that. Something to eat, please? Nice cutlets, figs and dates, meat pies. Oh, no, thanks. We ate only four days ago. But could we just hang around in reminisce? Boy, look at that food. I wish I had my drool cup with me. Good evening, brother. I'll have some of those. A little of that and some of those. Take all you want, my friend. All you want. Mollie! Mollie! No, no, no, Mollie. Take all you need, my friend. Too much of that cheese, I know. What is this? Free cold cuts around here, everything on the house? Boy, that USO really gets around, doesn't it? Well, what are we waiting for? I'll take a meat pie. Have one on me, Jeff. Sure, everybody grab. Take the hands off the food. Ow! See, I did. The other fellow did it. Why can't we? He is not sane. To us such unfortunate ones are sacred. Everything is free to the dimwitted. Well, my friend here isn't exactly John Kiran. Say, I don't think that's fair. Hey, wait. Come over here, Turkey. Come here. Hey, can you imagine that? Just because a guy's got a loose bolt, he don't need a ration stamp. Come on, I'll stop wrapping your rack and come over here. Look at me. Let me see. Look at me. What's that? Yeah, you'll do fine. All right. Hey, what's the idea of casing me like that, huh? Turkey, from now on you're sacred. What do you mean sacred? You just became a full-blooded American idiot. Oh, no, no, no. You do it. Who's going to believe I'm an idiot? With the head start, you good? Now, all you got to do is go into a shop, you put on that silly look and you talk like this. Now, watch. You do like this, huh? I'll take some of those and I want some of those and I'll take some of those and I want some of those. Let me have that slow. You like this. I'll take some of those and I want some of those and some of those and some of those and I want some of those. You feel all right, daddy? Let me hear you do it. Come on. Let me hear you. I'll take some of those and some of those and give me some of those and some of those. oh you're a pro first shop we went to the guy will probably load us you throw in his daughter and everything come on his daughter I'll take them with those don't go wait a minute now wait don't over strain him is a likely looking dive come on in come on don't forget lay it on good and thick well what and I don't know huh I would go ahead yeah tell him oh well I want someone to own that no no and don't know hey why do you know I make the fun of me no I always talk like that well why don't you because I can't help but I'm an idiot I'm sacred well if you think you're an idiot I'm not gonna argue when you become I put it down I'll pull it off my head oh oh all right all right we were just leaving come on come on boy look at me look at me son you all right turkey speak speak to me I'll take someone down perfectly normally something had happened to my cousin of them I could see that probably a touch of fever we went into a cafe nearby and we ordered up a feast didn't have any money but this was no time to quibble we sat there eating we noticed the manager showing a customer the door what was what was the trouble level trouble yeah he was one colac short in his bill he's dainty isn't he one colac short Jeff how much is a colac well it's less than a cent and a half you mean they'd murder a guy for a cent and a half listen how do you figure on paying for all this stuff what's the matter you're scared you've got red blood ain't you yeah but I want to get it all over strangers go ahead eat up have a good time fling me one of those fillets over there will you forget about it hey look over there those two guys making with gestures I think they're looking at us you want to speak to us huh to one of us go ahead junior you ask them what they want them listen I'm not curious anyway it's you they want see yeah if they get tough don't worry about a thing I'll be right here under the table buy a rug for me Jeff well Jeff went over to talk to the two guys I couldn't hear what they said but they all kept looking back at me and counting up on their fingers first it was five fingers and it was 10 and they shook hands all around and Jeff came back to the table hi turkey hey what are you so happy about who are those guys the local bookmakers guys on our check please the check you got money you 130 colax please here's 230 colax for the little snack and five for you come come let little Orville and on this deal how'd you get the spinach oh boy it's a funny thing funny thing a guy I never seen before in my life gives me 2,500 colax that's 200 federal diplomas are you listening 200 skins mmm why what for I sold him something well you got nothing to sell we already hacked your pivot tooth in the Mayo Clinic refused my brain it wasn't much but it was all I had and was he anxious to get it what you sell them I want you to keep very calm what did you sell him you oh well for a minute huh me me wait a minute get that guy and give him those fish back what's the matter with you you can't sell me I'm not a horse just the way I comb my hair I know Orville you and I know you're not a horse but these people are peculiar are you talking about you going nuts why would a guy buy a guy I don't know I don't know they buy anything any old junk why would he buy me what does he want me for didn't ask him listen do you know why they buy guys in the country like this for slaves they pick you they've hit you with whips they put you to pick and guayuli they beat you they beat you oh they don't pick guayuli here well they beat you for whatever they're picking why don't you relax take it easy I got this thing all figured out see yeah I got plans don't tell me about plans all I know is I'm being caught with mine down I got the guy's address I'm gonna get you back and when I do would be 200 bucks ahead what's that 10 well it's something certainly then a hundred that's mine it's what I'm telling you well come on slip it to me put me in the higher brackets no use given it to you now if anything goes wrong with my plans why the money would be wasting anything goes wrong yes well I'm getting out of here see you might have sold me see but you're not gonna deliver me see wait wait no sir city I don't have to deliver you they're coming to pick you up coming to what do you think you're playing with children you're talking to Turkey the man with the muscles we already gentlemen now wait take his feet Abdul all right now listen now pick him up stop wait let go of me let go let well Alicia could do as rap me as a gift too bad you know if he'd been a foot taller I could have got another hundred in just a few seconds Bing Crosby Bob Hope and Ginny Sims will return an act to of the road to Morocco now here's a conversation overheard at a department store blouse counter what do you think Mary I love that yellow it reminds me of daffodils or what about this shocking pink I'll just hold it up to my face before the mirror no use these high colors are no good with my skin oh Janet Scott will you stop talking like that you make me so mad well Mary B Frank doesn't my skin look dull as a dish rag well let me ask you something do you ever take any real care of it well I have so little time oh Janet nobody has any time nowadays but you could have a nice complexion if you really wanted to beauty course I suppose a beauty course right at home dear and costing next to nothing now will you promise me to do what I tell you for a month if I promise you that your skin's going to look prettier all right it's a bargain let's make for the toilet goods counter and get some luck so and here's what Mary told her friend to do use lots of the lather and smooth it well into your skin so as to get the full benefit out of it luck soaps lathers very creamy cleanses like a charm now rinse off splash on plenty of warm water now finish with cold now here's a really soft towel pat your face dry don't rub simple isn't it just do that two or three times a day to give your skin a quick beauty pickup and above everything else don't neglect it at bedtime be faithful about it do it for 30 days then dear you can give me your next coffee ration as a thank-all yes 30 days of regular Hollywood care works wonders there's a reason why 9 out of 10 lovely screen stars have used gentle white lux toilet soap for years it's a real beauty soap you'll like the satiny feeling active leather gives your skin the new freshness and loveliness it bring begin your luck soap duty facials tomorrow now our producer mr. de mill act 2 of the road to Morocco starring Bing Crosby Bob Hope and Ginny Sims our story continued the boys had just reached the point where Jeff Peters sold his cousin Norville for 2,500 what a heel I am you ain't kidding cousin you're just a gremlin with ears Jeff Dallas how did you feel after they took Orville away did you have a twinge of conscience yes this I did I I couldn't get to sleep that night for almost 20 minutes then like it like in a dream seemed to feel the presence of another party was at Lucy she spoke to me Jeffrey Jeffrey you must find Orville Jeffrey at Lucy you must find him at once bring him back well gee Aunt Lucy I I don't even know where to look the fella I sold him to was only a jobber he he he resold him later and wrote off his loss do you know you turned out to be a regular stinker I guess you're right Aunt Lucy can't you tell me where he is hmm I'm not supposed to Jeffrey it's against the rules oh gee come on and Lucy gee come on tell me well if you go to the marketplace then head east about 200 paces you'll come to I can't talk to you anymore now Jeffrey here comes mr. Jordan well I I went out to look for my cousin that night there I was walking through the streets of catamish all around me strange sights strange smells but none of them was all of them suddenly a note fell at my feet a note wrapped in a stone a stone wrapped in a note and it wasn't meant to fall at your feet either I picked it up and I read dear Jeff flee for your life before it's too late you can't do anything for me now if you stick around you'll only get us both into trouble maybe killed say nothing to nobody about this flee flee respectively yours turkey Peters PS I am being tortured day and night flee flee FLE a that's turkey that's him all right don't worry old boy I won't let you down I'll get you out all right there before me stood a palace gleaming like ivory in the moonlight as I approached I heard music and a woman's voice singing and stood me last found myself in a long tiled room at all sides were Nubian slaves and dancing girls in dancing costumes dancing and on a mountain of pillows a man in native costume lay reclining I couldn't see his face for a lovely girl was smothering same and kisses at last she stopped the man sat up and said hey somebody unbraided my toes will you so this is where you are well ain't this a pip take it on the land brother we don't want any cheese today beat it who is the strange leave the country and forget she even knew me he says flee he says flee why you dirty double-crossing hoarder you take that man away remove him from my side yes princess come let go let go turkey come on tell him to lay off this is me your friend this is old Jeff turkey old buddy turkey what does he call you turkey all the fellow is mad take him away toss him to the crocodiles the ones that still have their teeth that pepsidon is wonderful friend I tell you let me go wait Orville do you know this man I never saw him before in all my life you dirty underhanded sickle snoot we were kids together we were in the same class for years till I got promoted let him go the stranger will stay oh but hunn come stranger sit here beside me well I want you to tell me the truth do you know him well I used to but I kind of outgrew him I don't dally much with riffraff these days and he's a pretty raffy kind of a riff oh yeah what are you made up for anyhow what is this ladies night in the Turkish bath or something what time do you clean the pool might interest you to know Buster that you're now looking at the future Prince of Karamish oh I'm gonna be a pasha with the accent on the patch yeah trouble is you passed out about 10 years ago yeah well the Prince of Shalma and me are gonna be married on when is the big day dream thing when the moon and its last quarter silvers the blossoms of the almond tree that's Tuesday night about nine what a pity I should be listening to Hobby Lobby I think how can a dream like you really go for a drip like this anyhow I have been counseled by Haider Khan the wise one to take this man for my husband I must obey hello Haider Khan must have been reading last year's recent form something oh is that so well there's nothing you can do about it see I'm her Heathcliff and believe me I'm gonna turn on the Heath she bought me see she bought you certainly you sold me to her for 200 bucks yeah no mistakes rectified after leaving the window I feel like a black market but just to show you there's no hard feelings I'm gonna stick around for the wedding I'll even give you away for now just a second you've already given me away come on blow before I press a button have your head served up in a cup in a saucer way look I look man away cut out this shoving cut it out see there'd be a room full of teeth around here and you're gonna look awfully funny with your gum showing you better get out of here I might forget that I'm the Prince not with that Arabian Anton the castle you got on there get the sleeves on this let go why you you rip my sleeve do that again he did it why you do that again gentlemen please what is your name Jeffrey Jeffrey Jeffrey I want you to stay here with me I well I I could be very happy here wait if he stays I'm leaving do you hear I'm leaving as long as you want to Jeff sure stick around nice to have you I knew why Jeff wanted to stay he was trying to move in on me he wanted to be the prince that evening just before dinner my ladies and waiting came in to comb my hair and arrange my turban a turban that's a stuff fascinated with feathers I will never forget Miramar my headlady and waiting and I knew what she was waiting for me Oh yes Miramar why is the prince is going to marry you orville she was to have married moulay kassim the desert chic why she changed her mind oh I guess cheeks have gone out of style what the modern girl wants is a nice reliable wolf something very strange about it all something very very strange well it's a strange country baby they got butter here oh if this were known it would mean my death but in my heart there is a great love for you you too say does everybody get this kind of treatment in caramish or if I got a C card is my love hopeless or do you perhaps have some crumbs of affection for me oh you know how our prince is prince is later on I may set you up in a little hat shop or teach you how to siphon gas or something because I love you there is something I must tell you I'm all ears or haven't you noticed listen the princess is unfaithful she cares nothing for you don't be silly nobody throws away 200 bucks look at this very moment she and your best friend are in each other's arms in the gardens below well what look see them why the low down filthy double-cross the centipede why the crawling lizard I'll show them what the salami has got to go through no no no no don't waste your anger upon them oh hey let go you and I does and does and does will my love consume you manufacture direct to consumer I go thus and thus and becomes you it goes with you certainly know it gets so romantic stuff to go dream I want you to know not just because I want to ask you something supposing you sort of put off this wedding for a little bit and I sort of hung around a little bit and maybe learned a couple of courses of black magic or something you got to do to like me a little bit wouldn't that change things a little bit no Jeffrey it would not I like you now the more I get to like you more reason I'll have to marry or you like me so you're gonna marry Orville well that's a new kind of brush that is the way it must be look look at here now listen listen I must leave you good night where is he this this dog hold your anger Kaseem wait until you've heard I have already heard you are planning to marry this this American yes Kaseem but it's only because enough come on Ed let us find this jackal no no wait first you must hear the words of hydrocon the wise one hydrocon tell him what the stars have said oh lion of the desert it is here written that the first husband of the princess shall ma will die of violent death within a week of the married what is that you say it is also written that her second husband will be blessed with long life and happiness now do you understand Kaseem the American is my first husband will die within the week and then I will be free to marry the man I love this is a great joke kiss me shall ma the princess first husband will die within a week Miramar that's ridiculous I tell you because I love you listen the wedding is all planned I just spent my last three ration points for rice but there were two fellas here just now measuring me for some sort of an outfit I guess they're the royal dressmakers no my beloved no they are royal undertakers they were measuring you for a coffin you mean a zoot suit with a wood hood if you marry her you die what's new in the pasture racket Jeff glad you came in look sit down I gotta have talked with you look Orbi I've been doing a lot of thinking there's no use of you and I talking or arguing anymore I'm gonna beat it on out of here no no no that's it you're not you don't have to look I'm the guy that's shoving off and you're taking shower Marcy I'm giving it to you well wait a minute wait what are you cooking up there last gal you gave me with that lady wrestler up at the St. Nicholas rink what's behind all this well I got to thinking about the very I mean the marrying and I got a hunch it wouldn't last I got a feeling in a week I'd be cold I mean that and besides I got a girl see hello Miramar my sweet I met her at the hair I'm right off the assembly line nice model yeah and this is one I know won't be frozen for the duration he's going to fly with me my love will consume him dust and dust and dust you know a girl can eat too much yeast you know go away for a second honey will you oh this is a whole new shuffle how you to a way little shall Mar hears about this yeah but it's not gonna be easy to get shall Mar to give me up you know oh naturally is this gonna tear the heart out of it but she might settle she might settle for me yeah well that's the spirit and I'll be right behind sure sure sure well so long my beloved why don't we fly right away look high octane why don't you just fly around and warm your motor up I'll join you later oh wake up wake up okay okay I'll get a job tomorrow oh it's Aunt Lucy wake up oh and Lucy oh how can you sleep after what you've done to Jeffrey you've got to tell him the truth but I ain't doing nothing look what he did to me I insist that you tell him no I won't when you were a little boy and you said well you remember what I did to you well well there's still a little steam in the old wing oh and the next time I'll slap you in the face I don't know Princess this this just doesn't add up I want you and you say you want me and Orville says it's okay and tell you're gonna marry him I told you Jeffrey it's something I can't explain Orville now I'm going to be married and that's all I have to say oh Princess all right of Karameesh well I do Princess listen and be merciful I have made it calamitous error you must not marry that American you must marry Muley Kaseem Muley Kaseem speak I must hear everything oh Princess when I read the stars in the heavens that night I read them wrong how could you Princess forgive me a fly gut in the telescope then then my husband will not die no Jeffrey isn't it wonderful what's wonderful about it just means Turkey's back in circulation and you get tied up to Muley Kaseem Muley Kaseem oh Jeffrey you may feel strange about marrying a princess but I'll spend the rest of my life trying to live it down you mean me yes how about this wait till I break the news to fatter than me so that's why a little Orville was so anxious to hand you over to me huh well don't say anything to a right now Jeffrey not just yet we must make plans for departure before Muley Kaseem hears Kazma prepare a caravan we will leave it once now listen Jeff what's the matter why don't you get some sense into that shell and just you and me blow huh while we're going to the United States to get hooked up I tell you this character Kaseem is trying to kidnap her boy what a sneaky way for Lockheed to get welders listen Jeff you're in a bad spot that guy hide her cons got that jinx of his pet all over the world oh yeah let's see him mess around in Brooklyn that is your plan running away with this this dog don't call me a dog why not the Cocker Spaniels resent it look I'm not mixed up in this at all Muley I just work here do you lie to Kaseem no Muley settle down it's a big switch now I gave her up I'm on your side I'm your friend they're ducking out on you the dirty double-crossers what do you think we ought to do with them what is this nice going Junior silence who is this goat this moon-faced son of a one-eyed donkey I wouldn't let him call me that Jeff even if there is a resemblance listen here big boy where do you come off cutting in here go on go play cops and robbers someplace else beat it scratch you boy now you're telling me go on slap his teeth out I'll hold your coat what well I'll hold your coat too in fact I'll take it out and get a press Kaseem please listen come here donkey you would dare oppose the will of Kaseem oppose your well why you'll be right in one of you mess around with me Jack oh now you're talking go ahead take a poke at him we're not afraid of Mario you're coming with me who me both of you Abdul put them on horses the princess also now listen friend look at what's up what do you think you're gonna do yeah what about me I'm innocent I tell you Muley Kaseem will take care of you on the desert you shall die slowly your ears shall be sliced off and dried on sticks the buzzards will feast on your nose what that's 16 points right there this is the Columbia broadcasting system after a brief intermission Bing Crosby Bob Hope and Ginny Sims will bring us act three of the road to Morocco country Gardens is one of my favorite song Sally and I know what made you think of it of course you do it's these six packets of flour seeds in my hand Mr. Kennedy I can hardly wait to plant them you'll have good results from those seeds Sally their first quality from one of America's leading seed houses and now I'm going to tell everyone in our audience how to get them send in only a dime with a luxe toilet soap wrapper or the opening tab from a box of luxe flakes and your name and address to Luxe flower garden box one New York City for a large package each of cosmos candy tuff zinnias morning glories marigolds and poppies a selection to give you a garden that will bloom from early summer till frost and Sally these seeds have been treated with plant hormones for bigger earlier flowers planting instructions are on the back of each package I'm going to have a wide border of zinnias and marigolds right around my victory vegetable garden and a window box too with lots of candy tough then heavenly blue morning glory and marigolds me for a bed of those surely poppy Sally they come in tones of scarlet and pink and zinnias too these are the deli of flower giant kind and cosmos for sure they bloom right till frost and make fine cutting flowers I guess most everyone will have a garden this year mr. Kennedy yes and we urge all of you to send for yours right away now here's what you do send ten cents and a luxe toilet soap wrapper or an opening tab from a box of luxe flakes to Luxe flower garden box one New York City together with your name and address you can get a handy order blank from your dealer if you wish for additional seeds be sure to one close another dime and another Luxe soap wrapper or another Luxe flakes opening tab for each extra set desired act quickly for you must allow two to three weeks for seeds to reach you and this offer will not be good after May 31st I'll repeat the address Luxe flower garden box one New York City remember you get six packets of seeds be sure to wrap coins securely and write name and address plainly no stamps please this offer is good only in the United States now mr. DeMille returns to the microphone here's the curtain for the third act of the road to Morocco starring Bing Crosby Bob Hope and Jenny Sims our two heroes Jeff and Orville Peters are facing a horrible fate you will remember that Jeff instead of Orville was supposed to marry Shalma because Miramar told Orville that Haider Khan told Shalma that Mully Kasim not Jeff would die in Orville's place if Shalma married Jeff and not Orville what am I saying if Jeff married Shalma and Mully Kasim marries Orville Mully Kasim himself and not Shalma will Jeff wait a minute wait a minute you're a little confused aren't you well it's a very confusing story mr. Peters hi well you got the whole thing bowled up this man here is coming up the works this bystander here oh yeah well the gentleman I'm the producer yes we know I tell you what you do Bob just go over there and sit down right go ahead friend find a nice corner over there and lux your socks blow a few bubbles let's not argue with them let's let's pick up our soap and get out of here I'm sorry I'm very very sorry it's all right Bob that's all right go ahead Orville go right along where were we before yes what is this people walk in here oh yeah we're working in an alley Mully Kasim Mully Kasim had his bound hand and foot they carried us out into the desert and there they left us under the broiling sun our hands were chained behind our backs our legs were staked to the ground around our necks they placed a 70 pound iron weight a few hours later we were walking across the desert toward a distant mirage something there yeah those chains and stuff how'd we get out of them oh you think we ought to tell them they wouldn't believe it anyway okay let's not tell them after all does Macy's tell Gimbal yeah let's get on with this thing huh there we were stumbling through the desert sands the Sun was beating down on us yeah fine pal you are letting me give shower up and all the time you knew you weren't gonna die and what did you do you're gonna let me marry her cuz you thought I was gonna get knocked off inside a week listen this is no time to argue hey look up there in the sky you know what they are don't you they're buzzards yeah they're carrying finger balls through fine way to end up a box lunch for a bird there's a switch junior a bird getting you hey turkey take a look over there gee a lot of tents stuck right out in the middle of the desert what do you make of it I don't know wait a minute you see those guys those are Mully Cosim's gorillas yeah and that joint must be their hideout well we got to save the girls it's up to us now turkey we'll have to storm the place you storm I'll stay here and drizzle we got to get in there hey I've got something that can't miss so they guns what have you got listen I'll get this we go in disguised as a horse yeah that's a good what a horse we skin a horse we get inside it's a cinch I got four nags in the Kentucky Derby that way once look bubbles the only horse you ever had in the Derby you got in the brown Derby and they went in as Philly mignons come on come on when they were fine as horse gear see you wouldn't think it was possible would you two guys inside a horse skin I bet we look like a real horse hey hey turkey how you doing oh I'm doing fine way back here I feel like the tail gunner on a flying fortress that avoid keep walking now we walk right past that guard you see him I see him yeah but is he see us sure thinks we're a horse see he's looking at us right now he still thinks well yeah did he get you yeah right where the plow should have been just whining was hiding in that horse skin well ain't nobody in here except just us horses who let us in quick it is it to swine so you return once again now wait muley we can explain away take them to the guard house and bring me back there he is come come old man you're taking this meat shortage too seriously buying thing first you sell me for 200 bucks and I'm gonna marry the princess then you cut in on me then we're carried off by a desert cheek now we're sitting behind bars waiting to have our heads chopped off know all that yeah but the people who tune in on the middle of the program don't mean they missed my song hey what's all that hey God who are those guys that's a great cheek Neb Jola and his men friend of Cassian no the enemy of Cassian for 10 years they've been a war but tonight cuz he must invited him to his wedding is a token of peace now be silent both of you gotta take something for your throat are where are you over here by the window quick shall Ma or any word from the governor listen I got permission to bring food in this ball you'll find native clothes and blacking for your faces what good or native clothes why didn't you bake us a nice cake with a landmine in it I've worked out a plan it is complete except for one detail now you put the clothes on put black on your faces and they'll think you're Arabs yeah but how do we get out of this jail oh Jeff that's the detail I haven't worked out oh grand grand grand who's there the guard is coming I must fly that's a great idea she's got what's going on here oh nothing say did anybody ever escape from this jail once about a year ago two men got out oh yeah tell me chum how'd they do it it was an accident till I had a cigarette I placed my rifle in the window like this oh interesting and then what happened one of the fellas reached through the window grabbed the rifle and pointed it at me oh you mean like this exactly except that he put it right up against my head oh you mean like this yes and then stick them up and give us those keys hurry or we'll spread your brother oh dear I'm done it again a few minutes later two natives appeared outside our wedding party tent two figures muffled to the ears Clark and Tyrone Peters that's turkey and me look Jeff I don't get this what's flying well I'm cooking up some small sabotage here Mula Kassim and Neb Jola are friendly tonight but they're really enemies right right now here's the plan we're natives see so listen what are you laughing at you're breathing down my neck you get the plan oh I get it divide and conquer brother against brother yeah come on stop the music Neb Jola so great is my joy tonight but I wish to share it with you may our tribes live together in peace for a thousand years my hand on that kassim and you are fortunate indeed to win the love of so beautiful a princess she cannot wait for my kisses upon her lips can you my dove kassim you shall soon know how I feel about you there you hear oh mule kassim oh lion of the desert yes nebish what is it two native horsemen have arrived oh lion they beg entrance send them in nebish all are welcome tonight enter horsemen all greetings oh sheik greetings oh lion of the sands we bring you felicitations on your wedding welcome friends and from what tribe are you who is your master our master uh my uh he's the great sheik uh bull bull elbow bull bull bennett bennett spell backwards spells bennett the bull he says to congratulate you on our wedding to the beautiful shamar our greetings oh shamar are you you may I say up we are it quay it's fj anarchy day oh yeah i had it gay what tongue is this uh these men speak a strange language oh sheik i learned it from one of their tribesmen from what country oakland bray friends you may tell your master that i accept his greetings tell him also that mule kassim and neb jola are now brothers no yes well great news oh lion of the desert yes great news and will you forget old lion that neb jola said you ought to have your main clip oh that's that is a lie i never said it well it doesn't matter that's all a thing of the past certainly drop it like the time mule kassim called jala a jerk jerk jala he said your mind was never your highness if i thought that was true my tribesmen here would tear your men into little bits oh now don't fight boys there's nothing to get excited about certainly not your brothers they're right neb jola there must be no shedding of blood please my friend very well i will forget it sure sure everything is forgotten tonight say neb jola oh boy will you ever forget the time you sneak in a mule's hair my harem neb jola will you believe this swine you snake you vibe it's a lie here here now quiet everybody sit down mule sit down neb what's the matter with you guys sure it's all in fun sure well but no more insults your highness my word yes no we are friends again it is good what does it matter if once you were enemies tonight mule kassim and neb oh my net jola you pinched me what you swine she lies i never pinched well somebody did this is the finish now boys boys don't shoot each other don't shoot no use your knives here we go honey spread your wings that's the story we escaped during the brawl and we reached the coast by camelback and a boat to lisbon and then home to brooklyn and here we are gentlemen that's one of the greatest adventure stories i've ever heard and the girls i suppose you married them the girls oh uh well turkey the girls what's the matter the girls shallmar and miramar well what about them where are they well you ought to know i gave them to you you did not i was taking care of the tickets don't say that right there in the dock in marocco i said here's the girls i'll take the baggage well how did i know what bags you meant turkey i'll bet they're standing there on that dock now yeah well what are we waiting for come on come on gentlemen come back hang way son hey which way is the road to marocco right now bing posby bob hope and jenny sims are on the road to a cutting call every night when the good little producers of hollywood go to sleep they lie there and dream of casts like this yeah then they wake up in the morning go downstairs and bite their children it's no way to talk about jenny sim ah yes jenny sim jenny who do you think is more romantic bing or me well let's see there's bing's voice in my profile then there's your clothes bob have you seen crossbees i mean when he has the coat plugged in you may not think i'm handsome but cb does why do you know he tested me for reap the wild wind smart producer you flunked huh well i was sorry to turn bob down but he just wasn't believable yes squid's got to have more than two arms you usually do to the check arrives bing bing these golf matches you and bob play for the red cross and other charities who wins most of them it's a lie how did you know what i was going to say well i figured you were going to tell the truth how about hitting a few more you want to play okay gee bob bing really likes golf doesn't he why not after all he raises his own caddies sorry bing i really walked into that one historic mad that boy mr. de mille it's been swabbing here and before we say good night i'd like to tell you that i've been using your lux soap for a long time now and i like everything about it so does my skin what do you think about lux soap is a page one item with us jenny say uh what do you figure you'll try out here next week cb an exciting adventure story bing the rko hit once upon a honeymoon and our stars will be cladette colbert and brian a hern let's see yes i'll be listening cb none of my pictures are playing anywhere next money good night don't forget to go to the lux radio theater our sponsors the makers of lux toilet soap join me in inviting you to be with us again next monday night when the lux radio theater presents worded colbert and brian a hern in once upon a honeymoon this is sasselby de mille saying good night for you from hollywood bing claus b was here tonight with the courtesy of the craft cheese company his next paramount picture is dixie bob hope appeared through the courtesy of the pepsi and company and will soon be seen in paramounts let's face it jenny simms appeared through the courtesy of philip morris our music was directed by louis silvers and this is your announcer john n kennedy reminding you to tune in next monday night to hear claudette colbert and brian a hern in once upon a honeymoon mothers are you worried about food rationing and shortages yes i know it's harder now to get vitamin rich foods but have you ever thought about giving your family vims vims give you all the vitamins government experts say are essential and the balanced formula doctors and doors in addition vims give you all the minerals commonly lacking get vims at your druggist vi for vitamins double ms for minerals get that vims feeling this is the columbia broadcasting system