 Hey Psych2Goers, thank you so much for the love and support that you've given us. As you know, our mission is to make psychology more accessible to everyone. Before we begin, we'd also like to give a quick shout out to all of our subscribers who have joined our YouTube membership. We're so thankful for all the support that you've given us. It means a lot to us and it helps us continue what we do. Now, on to the video. Did you know even positivity could be toxic when we feel low or sad? We need to feel like we can count on our loved ones for support, guidance and love to help pick us back up. However, sometimes words of support can aggravate negative feelings and emotions. Toxic positivity encourages you to ignore emotions, devalue problems and impose unreasonable optimism. Some phrases may seem positive, but in fact, they only provoke negative emotions. Before we begin, please note that this is intended for educational purposes only and does not suggest that if you have used or have heard any of these phrases that they weren't necessarily toxic. It depends on the situation too. So how do you know that the things which you say or that you hear might be toxic? Here are some phrases that seem harmless, but may be toxic. Number one, you might not want to listen to me, but I'm going to say this anyway. Have you ever experienced a situation where you either gave advice that others didn't ask for or you heard advice from others that you didn't want to hear? People often say this without really thinking through how this might be perceived by the other person. They assume that you won't want to listen to them, but then proceed to tell you anyway without giving you any choice. This violates your boundaries and then blames your negative reaction on you in order to show that they're right. Number two, everything happens for a reason. Surely most of you must certainly resonate with this one. The person saying this is trying to comfort you and most likely has no bad intent behind those words. However, you might not take too kindly to this being said to you given the circumstance. For some people, this phrase can be followed with attempts to find someone to blame or to tell stories about karma and what goes around comes around. You may still be processing the event that happened and listening to such advice may cause you to misunderstand. Number three, the things that don't kill you make you stronger. A pet phrase of all your favorite films and music, right? According to a study, about 70% of people experience severe psychological trauma in their lifetime. It will usually be in moments when you feel powerless that people use powerful motivational quotes such as these to help raise your spirits. However, they may have the opposite effect. Instead of giving off the intended impression of invincibility, it fills one with shame over how they aren't living up to these expectations. After hearing these words, a person may experience even greater anxiety and doubts about their own abilities. Number four, I'd love to help you out, but have you had enough of this phrase for a lifetime? For some people, it becomes part of their everyday language. This person appears to always find an excuse for not helping you. This can have a toxic effect as you feel that you cannot fully rely on this person for support. Number five, time is a healer. Those having experienced a significant life event will probably have heard this. Although this phrase does ring true in the grand scheme of things, it can irritate those who have experienced intense grief or a traumatic event. Sometimes people will overcome their trauma with time, but for others, the trauma may linger for the rest of their lives. Some people may have to make a conscious effort and work harder on their inner healing. Each situation is unique. No one can say for sure how long your feeling of grief will last. So for some, time may not always be a healer. Number six, it's not the worst thing in the world. How often have we heard this from other people or even said it to somebody else? This phrase is often used to encourage perspective taking. However, comparing your situation to others won't make you any happier, and it doesn't relieve your pain. Some people unintentionally tend to want to simplify your problems by saying this, but actually it makes you feel guilty about your own negative emotions and experiences. Such phrases make your problems seem insignificant, and driven by guilt you aim to depress them rather than resolve them. As a result, they never go away. Rather, become deeply rooted even more. Number seven, that's nothing. Don't worry about it. If you never had to hear these words again, would it be too soon? But you still keep hearing its dreaded echoes. Don't worry about it. Perhaps after an accident or when you've made a mistake. But not worrying is easier said than done. This phrase may devalue your feelings, and everything which you feel is important to you. Often, this attempt comes across as heartless, making your experience and feelings seem neglected. In other words, your feelings are not important, valued, or interesting. Don't worry about it. Number eight, don't say I didn't tell you so. Are any of you guilty for this one? Especially those who know their esteemable advice was disregarded or not listened to. They never miss an opportunity to attract attention to the mistakes of others. Admittedly, it does come across as smug, which does not help the person hearing it. You already feel bad for what you have or have not done, and this phrase only makes you feel worse. It may even cause resentment and aggression. Number nine, I've been there too. This is how some people try to relate to you and what you're going through. But sometimes it actually is not the most helpful thing to say. Especially if somebody is grieving. That person doesn't know how you feel, as we all experience things differently. Everyone has their own unique story and situation. Someone else's experience doesn't help you go through hard times. And by suggesting so, it feels like they're being fake with you or trying to manipulate you into letting your feelings go. Number ten, well, if I were you. Ever felt the urge to respond by saying, well, you're not. So mind your own business. Something that is done cannot be undone. If that person hasn't been in your shoes, then they can't know exactly how they would have acted. So no point in trying to be a soothsayer, right? Often this comment can sound like a self-affirmation at the expense of another. Sometimes people may be trying to empathize or sympathize, but it ends up sounding like they would have reacted in a better way than you. Number eleven, you're strong, so you'll deal with it. You must have heard this countless times, right? Although this intends to come from a place of empowerment, usually you hear this when you don't feel strong at all. It's perfectly normal to not feel strong at times. We are human after all, and sometimes we may need a reminder of that, rather than feeling a false sense of power. This phrase is supposed to motivate you and give you strength, but according to psychologists, it only serves to remind a person of their helplessness. And number twelve, I only want the best for you. This phrase arguably does not mean what it says on the tin, and the person saying it may genuinely care for you and have the best interest at heart. However, sometimes this phrase is usually followed by the unwelcomed invasion into your personal space, and with a piece of advice you never asked for. In the end, it's more about being mindful of how these could be interpreted as toxic, depending on the situation. If you have any concerns that you're experiencing or involved in toxic positivity, please be sure to seek help. It's important to treat these as some examples of how well-worn phrases may be used in an undesirable way. We hope we're able to give you insight into how some everyday phrases can have an undesired effect. Do any of these describe your experience, or did any of these points describe you? Leave a comment down below about your encounters with them if you'd like. Please feel free to share any thoughts you have as well. If you found this video helpful, be sure to hit the like button and share it with those out there who may be using or being subjected to these phrases. 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