 J.T.N.L.L.O. The Jell-O program starring Jack Benny with Mary Livingston, Phil Harris, Dennis Day, and yours truly, Don Wilson. The orchestra homes the program with Grounded in Glendale. One way to describe Jell-O, ladies and gentlemen, would be to say it's a dessert that makes everybody sit up and take seconds. Because Jell-O is a grand tempting treat that always looks and tastes like more. The clear glowing colors of Jell-O carry a rich invitation, a promise of rare delight. And it's a promise that's always fulfilled by Jell-O's swell, refreshing flavor. We're sure you like Jell-O, sure that once you try it. So start serving Jell-O real soon. Ask your grocer for several packages, choosing any or all of Jell-O's six delicious flavors, strawberry, raspberry, cherry, orange, lemon, and lime. By the way, strawberry and raspberry Jell-O both have a new, improved flavor. Obtained by using a natural flavor base, artificially enhanced. And the result is a rich, unique goodness that is better than ever. Serve Jell-O tomorrow, friends, and discover for yourself why Jell-O is America's favorite Jell-Oton dessert. Mr. Gore, where is he? He just went in the other room to talk to his riders. Oh boy, is Jack burned up? Well, them two guys get away with murder. They never have a program writ till the last minute. Well, I'm going in to see what's happening. Gee, he's always having trouble with his riders. Now look, fellas, if I told you once, I told you five times. You've got to have the program written before we go on the air. Every week, we just barely make it. Now today, look what happened. No script at all. Well, what are you worried about? Yeah, it's only Friday. It's not Friday. It's Sunday. And there's no excuse for you guys not knowing, yet I gave both of you calendars for Christmas. I knew this would happen someday. Well, we were stuck this week. We didn't have no inspiration. Oh, you didn't. Don't yell at me. I'll fly to pieces. I'm just asking you to work. That's all. I'm paying you to work. And that's another thing. We want more dough. Well, you certainly picked the right time to ask me. You're getting plenty now. What do you want more dough for? We want to get a room tonight. Fine team of riders I've got. I've been looking for you all week. Where were you? Hot spring. You're not supposed to be in Ceboba. You're supposed to be here with me. Come on, Jack. We're waiting for you. Be there in a minute. Now look, fellas. Hey, who's the dame? That's Mary Livingston. She's on the program. You've met her 400 times. Oh, yeah. That's the girl we write for, Eddie. You're Eddie. I'm Bill. Two dreamboats alone. I told you, Mary. I'll be there in a minute. OK. I guess I can. Meanwhile, you stay right here and prepare some kind of a play for us. OK. Say, how about a murder mystery? A murder mystery? You know, where a guy comes home and finds his wife in the arms of another man. Door opens. Now I got you. Why, Julius, what are you doing here? You know what I'm doing here. I didn't go to Tarzan at all. Why, Julius? I told you yesterday. Oh, no. I gave it back to you. Yeah, but after that, I put it here. You have no broadcast. What's the matter, Jack? You having trouble with your writers again? Yes. On every week, they're getting lazier. Now tonight, no material at all. Why don't you fire them, Jack? He can't. They dug up a photograph of Jack when he was in third grade. What's wrong with that? He was the only kid with a handlebar mustache. Oh, it was just a fuzz. You could hardly see it. Anyway, that picture has nothing to do with my writers. If this ever happens again, I will fire them. What are you worried about, Jackson? If you ever get stuck for material, I'll be glad to let you have my author. Your author? Yeah, the guy that writes all my funny stuff for the Wilshire Bowl. Oh, fine. Phil, you're always bragging. No, you're always bragging about your writer. I've been to the Bowl a thousand times and I've never seen them. Who do you think parks your car? Oh, so that's your gag, man, huh? Well, the next time he points at my Maxwell and says, that does it, I'm going on the wagon. I'll run right over. Say, Dennis. Yes, please? Dennis, as long as we're stuck here, how about doing your song right away? Well, why don't you and I ad-lib a little? To and fro. To and fro, eh? All right, Dennis, let's ad-lib. I'll start it. Who was that lady I saw you with last night? That was no sore. That was a bat-lack. Well, I think you better sing, Dennis. At least it'll be better than standing around. Come in. Special delivery for Mary Livingston. Right here, boy. Give him a tip, Jack. Here you are, buddy. Say, you're rather old for a messenger boy, aren't you? You ain't going to get the mumps any more yourself, Bob. He sent tip. You gave him a time. I gave him a quarter. I know what I gave him. Who's the letter from, Mary? It's from my mother in Plainfield. Well, it's the one time I'm glad to hear from the old lady. Yes, sir. What's it got to say, Mary? Listen to this. My darling daughter, Mary, just a few lines to say hello and thank you for the small check you sent me for Christmas. It looked like a refund from the gas company. Boy, is she mercenary. By the way, Mary, we have a new address now. We had to move from the old house on Elm Street as the landlord, who was engaged to your sister, found his glasses. I mean, I thought your sister was very good looking. She has beautiful skin. Yes, but there's too much of us. Oh, I see. The weather's been awful lately. In fact, it was so cold here this week, your Uncle Herman froze an ear off. Now he only has two. More things happen to your relatives. And Mary, I must tell you about New Year's Eve. The whole family. Mary, we had enough of that letter. How about a song, Dennis? OK. The whole family went to the midnight show of Jack's new picture. Mary, we've had enough. Oh, hold it, Dennis. What was that, Mary? The whole family went to the midnight show of Jack's new picture, Love Thy Neighbor. Well. We weren't in the theater 10 minutes when your brother, Howard, was thrown out for taking the title seriously. He's just the type. No more news, so we're closed with love to all from your mother, Smiley Franking Livingston. Wish he had a program so I could write her a letter. Well, let's have your song, Dennis. I'm going out to see how my writers are coming along. If they're stalling, I'm going to get them. He is, but we can't write them down. Why not? I gave you a pencil. Yeah, but there ain't no lead in it. Oh, there ain't no lead in it. Give me that pencil. Look, fellas, you turned this little knob here and now comes the lead. It's an automatic pencil. Oh, yeah. Look, Bill, you turn this knob and the lead comes out. Say, that's good. Let me turn it. No, I want to turn it. Come on, just one. I've turned it. All you got to do is put the pencil on a piece of paper and push it a little. Now, please write that mystery. Play, will ya, fellas? OK. That picture I'll fire him so fast. Well, Don, it'll be a few more minutes yet. What do we do? I don't know what to talk about. Me neither. Why don't we talk about currents and events? You mean current events. The president's new deficiency appropriation bill. Anything Wilkie does is OK with me. I'm here with you anyway. Well, I got to laugh. All right, Jackson, why don't you hire me for a writer? Because I hired you once for a band leader, got gypped, and I'm disillusioned. No, I guess we'll just have to stall around until my boys get that play written. See, if this was television, you could take your teeth out and make like Popeye. It's very funny. Remember when you dropped him at the hockey game in New York and the Rangers made a goal with him? Harry, that wasn't my teeth. That was my cigarette case. Sure grins, don't it? All right, there's no use trying to keep this up. I'm going to see if my writers have got anything. I'll take it. Hello? Hello, Mr. Benny, this is Rochester. Rochester, I can't talk to you now. Well, this is important, boys. It's about Mr. Billingsley, our boarder. Mr. Billingsley, what about him? Well, I've been telling you for months to get rid of him. He's getting crazier every day. Oh, he's just a little odd, that's all. Odd or even, call the wagon. What's he done now? Mechanical man. Oh, you mean that robot? Yeah, remember you said it would never be practical? What's the robot doing in the kitchen? He's making himself a sandwich. Sir, this is no time for joking. I don't want that big mechanical thing roaming around my house. Aren't there any buttons to control it? Yeah, there's 20, knock you down. The second one, he picks you up. I see, well, what happens when you press the third button? He goes, whoa! Well, there must be some way to shut it off. Now look, Rochester, I'll be right home after the broadcast. In the meantime, don't go near the kitchen. I'm calling from San Diego. Mechanical man would work. Well, I guess I'll have to raise Mr. Billingsley's rent. He's got a roommate now. Play something, Phil. I'm going in and beat the gags out of my writer. Page, that word is murderer, not moiderer. Well, a gangster would say moiderer. I'm not a gangster. I'm a police captain. Read your own script. Now, fellas, it's time for our play, so I'll take what you got and bring the rest in as soon as you can. Give me those pages. Please give me those pages. All right, please. Centrate, will you, fellas? Fine thing. Drama on the installment plan. Well, how does it look, Jack? Are we going to do a play tonight? Yeah, but we'll have to do it without a rehearsal. Here are your parts, kids. Now, let's see. I'm going to be Captain O'Benney of Police Headquarters. And Dennis, you'll be my assistant, Sergeant O'Day. Oh, thanks. Oh, welcome. Now, Mary, you're going to be the widow, Mrs. J. Malcolm Smith. The widow? Yes. Your husband has been killed, leaving you $3 million and a stay on Long Island and a yacht. And you're all broken up. Why, does the yacht leak? No, you're loud. You're husband. Now, let's see. Phil, Phil, you'll be the family physician. And, Don, you're going to be the bugler. Bugler? Oh, they must mean butler. You're the butler, Don. Well, so much for casting. And now, ladies and gentlemen, for the feature reaction this evening, the Benny, when we act, you better act like you enjoy it, players. The hero will present an original mystery drama entitled, The Murder of Malcolm Smith, or, although he wasn't grafted, he was drilled. Say, that's not a bad title. I think I'll get the boys a room tonight. Well, let's go, fellas. The opening scene is the office of Detective Cap and O'Benny at police headquarters. Curtain, Uzi. Hey, Sergeant O'Day. Yes, cop? That's Cap. Did you answer the burglar alarm at the First National Bank? Yes, sir. Well, were there any suspicious characters around? No, the furniture movers told me they hadn't seen anybody. Furniture movers? Yes, two fellas were the safe. Those were the burglar. What's the matter with you, anyway? I'll take it. Hello, police headquarters. Hello, this is Mrs. J. Malcolm Smith talking. Yes? My husband, J. Malcolm Smith, wealthy stockbroker of New York, Palm Beach, Miami, air to the millions left by his father, has been killed. That's shocking news, Mrs. Smith. Are you sure your husband is dead? Definitely. I will be there in five minutes. Goodbye. What's up, Chief? Wait till I hang up. J. Malcolm Smith, the stockbroker, has been murdered. What's the J for? Jazzbow. He sold neckties on the side. Come on, let's get going. This is an important case, Sergeant O'Day. And we're going to find the murderer of J. Malcolm Smith, or, or, or what? Or nothing, we're all out of script. Hey, fellas, hurry up with the rest of this, will you? Play something, Phil. We even finished the sentence. Hold it, Phil. There's a few more pages, Jack. Thanks. Now go back and get to work. We got a union. We're going out to eat. Not until you finish the script. OK, blue eyes. Even my writers notice them. Now let's see. Oh, yes. This is an important case, Sergeant O'Day. And we're going to find the murderer of J. Malcolm Smith, or my name ain't Captain O'Bennie. Heck, I could have thought of that myself. Let's go. I'm Captain O'Bennie of police headquarters. We're here to investigate the murder of J. Malcolm Smith. Yeah, J. Quiet, you. Where's Mrs. Smith? She's in the library. This way, sir. Come along, O'Day. You stick with me and make notes. How do you get the lead out of this pencil? Look, you turn this little knob, and now comes the lead. You're as bad as my two writers, mink and schmink. Pardon me. Are you Mrs. J. Malcolm Smith? Yes, Captain. Tell me what you know about the murder of your husband. Well, we were sitting here in the library, listening to the radio. When all of a sudden, I turned around, and there was my husband on the floor with five bullet holes in him. You're lying. Here's the body. And he only has one, two, three. He was only shot. One, two, three, four times. Now count them. Give me that dagger, and I wish my writers would concentrate. Five gunshots. Make a note of that, O'Day. O'cock, K. O'cock, Cap. O'cock, Coupe. O'cock, Cap. Cap, Coupe, Cap. I, Mrs. Smith, I want the truth. You really hated your husband, didn't you? You hated him. No, no, I loved him. I loved him. I tell you, loved him. Then why did you shoot your husband? He was always saying, long time no see. Don't be flippin', Mrs. Smith. You killed your husband, and I know why. You murdered your husband because? Because? Oh, fine. We're stuck again. All right, Bill. All right, boys. Come on. Some more pages. Here you are, Chum. Thanks. So, Mrs. Smith, you murdered your husband because there's another man in the cage. Now tell me, who's your lover? Who is he? Well, what's going on here? Hello, darling. Hello, dear. Ah-ha, the other man. What's your name? My card, sir. Dr. Philo Harrison, FC. What's the FC for? Physician and surgeon. Also, full of corn, and I like that better. I don't think you're a doctor at all. Where did you study medicine? Medicine, Wisconsin. I thought, now come clean, you. You're this woman's sweetheart, aren't you? Why's that ridiculous? Preposterous. Incredifant. Sanifo. Cudifem. Relcifem. You two are responsible for the murder of J. Malcolm Smith. And you're under arrest. You can't arrest us. You can't prove we did it. Oh, yes, I can. I know your motive. You killed Mr. Smith because? Oh, nuts. Ladies and gentlemen, while we're waiting for the finish of this thrilling murder mystery, why don't you run down to your neighborhood grocer and ask him for a package of jello. And if you'd like a copy of Jello's wonderful new calendar of desserts recipe book, just send a dime, 10 cents, to Don Wilson Battle Creek, Michigan. Be sure to do it today. Hey, fellas, we're stuck again. Hey, I, chum. All right, let's finish this. I know your motive, Dr. Harrison. You killed Mr. Smith because you're in love with his wife. That's the truth now, isn't it? No. No, I didn't do it. I didn't kill him. Oh, yes you did. You're killing a murder, Harrison, murder. And you're going to hang for us. All right. I'll confess. I did it. I killed him. I killed him because I hated him. I'm glad he's dead, you understand? It ain't believable anyhow. Play, Dr. If you haven't yet said it for your copy of that brand new recipe book, The Calendar of Desserts, do so real soon. It's a beautiful-looking book that you'll find a pleasure to own. And let me show you how downright convenient it is to you. Suppose, for example, that you're trying to think of an idea for tomorrow night's dessert. With this new recipe book, you'd simply open it to the pages that contain dessert suggestions for January. And there, under January 13th, you'd read about a delightful jello treat called Raspberry Charlotte, a combination of luscious raspberry jam and rich crimson raspberry jello. That's all there is to it. You simply name the date, and this clever book suggests the dessert. There are 365 dessert ideas in this swell book, a different one for every day in the year, including all kinds of pastries, puddings, cakes, and cookies, and many, many desserts made with bright, shimmering jello. So send for your copy now. Mail $0.10, just $0.10 in Coroner stamps to me, Don Wilson, care of General Foods Battle Creek, Michigan. Do it tonight. The last number of the 15th program in the current jello series, we will be with you again next Sunday night at the same time. Say, boys, but next week, please try and have the program ready before we go on the air. OK. Hello, Ma. Good night. What can I do? Good night.