 Monday again, we have been talking about the idea of learning how to slow down as part of a new way to relate to and react to anxiety and panic and stress and fear. Uh, and often like the question comes up, well, slowing down is that mindfulness? Do I have to learn how to meditate? And we're going to talk about that today. Uh, and the fast answer to that is not necessarily in kind of. So there's really no hard and fast answer to that, but let's talk about it today. This is recovery Monday, episode number 40. Welcome. I'm glad you're here. Just a reminder, we are doing lessons out of this book. Always a glare, 7% slower. Uh, we're up to chapter seven today, which is literally called is this mindfulness? So I have to meditate. Uh, so let's get the chat up on the screen. See who's coming in. Not many folks yet. The stream seems to be really slow these days. So as you get in, just let me know that you can hear me. Let me know everything's working. Everything seems to be okay on this end. Wait a few minutes for the usual crowd to wander in and we'll start getting into this. Um, this I think is one of the more useful chapters that I wrote in, um, 7% slower. Um, hey, Philly, hey Philly, what up table tennis? We told today, by the way, is a bank holiday in Scotland. So Bethany and I somehow decided that there should be table tennis tournaments to celebrate this for any of you who are in Scotland. Feel free to comment about that. I don't know if table tennis is a thing there, but we decided that it maybe should be celebrated with table tennis, which is ridiculous, but that's just what we do. Um, anyway, this is one of the, uh, I think chapters that is most useful because for a lot of people I'm here laying in the mud. Hello from Scotland. Hello Scotland in the Facebook group. Um, don't know who it is, but a happy bank holiday. Evidently, you guys are on a bank holiday today. So go play some table tennis. Uh, anyway, today we're gonna try and take some of the mystery and the confusion and the overwhelm out of mindfulness and meditation because a lot of people feel like, Oh, I hear it's, you know, this is so important. Mindfulness cures everything. It fixes everything. I'm going to learn to meditate. It's going to knock down my anxiety. And yeah, that those, that's not necessarily wrong. But it's grossly oversimplified and for anxious people, especially people who are trying to learn to slow down and like allow these thoughts and these feelings and sensations to happen. Um, it's, you know, that could be really overwhelming, a little bit scary, like no way. And it starts to look like, Oh, I have to do some sort of special thing to learn how to be mindful, like that. My phone is a special sort of thing. And it's not. Anyway, um, let's see your, Hey, Washington state, what up, Julie? I haven't needed you for a while. Like a few days, I think this is called recovery. Yeah, I think that's what it's called. Like when you don't need me, that's a good thing. I'm always thrilled when that happens. Um, anyway, let me close this so I can see what's going on. Let me turn off my screen blanking app because otherwise it will blank my screen. Oh, I already turned it off. Look at that. I actually quit it. I'm ahead of the game today. Not, not bad. Right. So anyway, let's get into this. Um, chapter seven and seven percent slower call is called is this mindfulness? Do I have to meditate? And you know, the little lizard guy is at the top as he always is. You can't see that. Um, and the answer is kind of and not necessarily. So here's the deal. Mindfulness is often held up like I was saying as a bit of a panacea. Like if I can learn to be mindful, uh, you know, it fixes everything. It makes my life better. I'm happy. My anxiety goes away. I'm calm. I'm serene. I'm elevated. I'm enlightened. And it gets really confusing and overwhelming. Um, I'm not saying that that's necessarily a wrong assessment. There are tremendous benefits to learn to live mindfully 100% not disagreeing with that. And I have no personal act to grind with the mindfulness people, dig the mindfulness people. I'm a big fan. But we have to acknowledge that for anxious people, the idea of somehow learning to become mindful or achieve this magical state of mindfulness can be really overwhelming and confusing. Alright, so try and take a little bit of the mystery out of that today. So the deal here is that mindfulness is not really meant to be. It's not the key that's going to unlock everything for you. I mean, it will help, but don't think of it that way. But I do understand that what I wrote specifically, I'll read a couple passages today, telling it overachieving business owner or a person gripped by panic disorder that they need to be in the moment seems like a good idea, but it can often fill those people with a combination of disbelief, dread and frustration. Like that was me. Like that was me. Like I have to do what like I have to learn to be in the moment and grounded and I have to vibrate and no, no, that's not it. So let me assure you that to learn to be mindful and to act mindfully, you live to mindfully, you do not have to go deep within. You don't have to commune with spirit animals. You don't have to learn how to vibrate. It's not about grounding like none of that stuff. This has nothing to do with a shift in your worldview, your vibrational level, your spiritual injury has nothing to do with that at all. But people really get confused and it seems overwhelming. Like how am I supposed to learn to do all this? And I'm just in a panic most of the time. I'm really anxious all the time. You don't you don't have to do that. So really and truly mindfulness is just the act here. I put it right here. I think I put it up on the screen. Let's throw it up on the screen here. No, I did not put that up here, but we're going to say mindfulness is simply the state of being fully engaged with what is happening now, rather than reviewing the past or predicting the future. And it's really this is really important. We do not qualify the state of mindfulness. So this is a thing that I will put up on the screen that is a quote from the book. It's a pull quote that Hillary pulled out because I think it's a good one too. It is not mandatory to appreciate the here and now to find any special meaning or beauty in it or to be grateful for any of it. So this is where things start to get off the rails. Like people can start to understand like, oh, I just have to pay attention to what's going on right now. But then somehow all the talk around mindfulness and being present sort of gives you that indication that you have to it gets sometimes tied and connected to things like gratitude and appreciation and perspective. Like just being present now or being paying attention to what's going on in the here and now doesn't necessarily mean you're going to love it. You might not get deeply engaged with it. You may have no gratitude. You may have no opinion one way or the other. You still may feel like crap if you're still dealing with the anxiety issues, for sure, if you're super stressed. But you can still learn to be engaged with what's going on right now. So it's really important because I think to not qualify your mindfulness. And sometimes that's what really throws people off because they feel like they're working on living mindfully. I'm slowing down. I'm trying to pay attention being here and now. But I don't feel any sense of calm. I can't feel gratitude. I don't feel that higher energy level or whatever. I don't feel a shift. It doesn't matter. You don't have to. We do not qualify it. And I've literally seen people get in arguments over the fact that you're not doing mindfulness right. But one of the great advocates and teachers of mindfulness in the modern era, John Kabat-Zinn, he talks about this stuff all the time. Then he will say all the time, we do not qualify. Like we do not qualify it. There's almost no way to do it wrong except trying desperately to do it right. There is no right way just being paying attention. Okay, so you don't have to attain any specific state. You just have to learn to pay attention. But I also want to talk a little bit about one of the things that makes mindfulness really confusing also which is the word present. Like you have to be present. Present is really super amorphous sometimes. Like what the hell does it mean to be present? You know, you don't, but you don't have to achieve a state of presence, which also has connotations that go beyond the practical, I think. Like presence feels like I have to have some sort of special connection or I have to, I don't know, like presence really kind of trips a lot of people up. They read more into it than it has to be. But present, you don't have to be present. You just have to pay attention, right? So to tie it into the idea of learning to go slower and why seven percent slower is really a little bit of a on the DL, on the down low like mindfulness manual is when you slow down, you kind of don't have any choice but to pay attention with what's in front of you. Like part of the way that we slow down is to actively engage with what was right in front of us right now. So you don't have to achieve a state of presence. You only have to be engaged. You only have to pay attention. So you can, being engaged is the thing you can do. You can pay attention. Those are behaviors that you can do. Being present indicates, you know, like achieving some sort of state that you may or may not achieve. So if presence works for you, then be present. Knock yourself out. It does nothing wrong with that word. I just want to take some of the mystery out of that, for sure, because some people feel like, well, how do I achieve a state of presence? How can I be present? I see it a lot in parents too. Like I need to be present with my children. Like, well, you just have to be engaged with your children, even when you feel terrible and you think you shouldn't be. So presence sometimes trips people up. But if the word is okay for you, then go for it. It's not a bad word. It's just sometimes has, you know, connotations that make people confused. There's no special state, emotional state, or state of being that we're after here. We're looking at mindfulness as a kind of a happy side effect of slowing down as almost a behavioral thing, learning to pay attention to what's in front of you right now, even when your brain is demanding that you ruminate over the past or make predictions over the future, right? So that's okay. You know, it's a thing that has to be practiced. This is not a thing you don't just decide, like, okay, I'm going to be present. Like, you really have to work on that. You really have to work on it. It's like everything else we talk about. This is just not a thing that you can just decide to make a mind shift or some sort of spiritual shift or a change in your energy and be more mindful. It just doesn't work that way. People spend their entire lives practicing this, like, literally practicing it on a daily basis. People have dedicated their entire lives to teaching this. You know, John Kabat-Zinn is one of them. You know, Tick Not Han, he just passed away last year, I believe. You know, a master when it came to this sort of stuff, he dedicated his entire life pretty much to try to teach these concepts and he practiced them himself, his entire life. So humans are not inherently good at this. So it's okay if you suck at it. It's okay. Like, this takes time. It takes practice. It's okay. And you really, I don't know anybody that ever would say, like, oh, I've achieved a perfect state of mindful living. Like, I don't believe. I don't believe that that's possible. We can from time to time, but it's not our default state. So we have to work on it, right? So let's talk about meditation. Let's move to that, right? So because people will say, well, do I have to meditate? You know, as part of learning this new reaction to anxiety, if I'm learning to go slower, does that mean I have to meditate? Well, sure. I mean, it doesn't mean you have to, but I suggest it. But here's why I suggest it. Not because meditation achieves a state of being, like we're not trying to achieve a particular state. So it's just like mindfulness. It's only a way to practice paying attention. So what I want you to think about in terms of meditation and how you can use it in this context, that would be I can use it to practice paying attention, which is part of learning to be mindful. So sometimes I like to tie them together by saying mindfulness and meditation are they related? Yeah, they're definitely related because on a practical sense when we talk about it this way, and the way I've used them in my own life, is mindfulness is a way to practice paying attention. And it is practice because your mind will wander. You'll have thoughts, you'll have feelings. You'll start thinking about all memories. You bring your attention back to your breath or whatever you're focused on at that moment. I'm not talking about chanting meditation. I'm not talking about transcendental meditation. I'm talking about focus meditation. You know, usually it's focusing on your breathing, but it could be anything. I have meditations up on the Insight Timer app. They are free. You don't have to pay that use breath. They use visual focus. They use sensory focus. A couple of really basic, you know, 10 and five and 10 minute meditations. But meditation is only a way to practice paying attention. And then we do that and we get better at practicing paying attention in a bit of a stationary way or dedicated way. I'm going to sit for my three minutes, my five minutes, my 10 minutes, my 15 minutes, whatever. I do about 10 minutes a day. And then when you get good at that, you start to put your focus in motion. So if meditation is a way to practice paying attention to something, then mindfulness is just meditation in motion, right? So you're just expanding the scope of that attention. Like, well, I'm going to pay attention to making my sandwich. I'm going to pay attention to the conversation I'm having with Donna right now, whatever it is, whereas you can practice it in a quiet, controlled way and then you begin to take that into the world by putting it into motion. So that's all this really is. You know, is it mindfulness? Yeah, slowing down is kind of mindfulness. There's a form of getting there, no doubt. Do I have to meditate? Maybe. You don't have to. But the way I look at it is, it is a good way to practice, practice paying attention. And we can use that because when your anxiety is screaming at you to pay attention to it or pay attention to the sensations or this thought that that it wants you to believe is so super dangerous and scary, I can hear that thought, but I can still pay attention to something else while I hear it, right? So there's a bunch of different ways to practice that there's no wrong way to do it, to be honest with you. So that's the beauty of this. There's no magic. There's no mystery. It doesn't have to be spiritual. It doesn't have to be particularly emotional. It's not trying to achieve a particular state. These are practical skills that we can use to help us as part of this overall improvement that we're looking for, right? So again, just trying to take the mystery out of some of this. So what else did I write in this chapter here? When we talk about doing some of the analogies that I wrote in this book, I'm not going to lie. I forgot that I wrote them and they're pretty good. They make me laugh. But what I did write here is that we have to acknowledge when you do use meditation as a focus and pay an attention practice tool that you will come face to face. And I've talked about this in other areas too. You will come face to face with the sensations that you hate and the thoughts that you hate. But that's okay. It's practice in hearing them and feeling them yet bringing my attention back to my breath or the stone that I have in my hand or the point on the wall or the feeling of your toes as you walk. There are some people who do walking meditations. There's a zillion different ways to do that, right? But yeah, you're going to come in contact with that. So a lot of people will say, well, there's no way. I can't possibly do that because I can't turn my brain off long enough to meditate. But you're not supposed to turn your brain off. Like I just want to clarify that too while I have your attention. Meditation has nothing to do with turning off your brain and not thinking at all. It has absolutely nothing to do with that. So people seem to feel like, well, I have to create a quiet mind. Well, your mind can be quiet even though there are thoughts in it, right? So what we're really looking for is finding a way to maintain that focus or keep coming back to that focus point so that your mind isn't going to be dead quiet. You're still going to have thoughts and you're still going to experience sensations, but you can experience them in a less frantic way, right? So we talked about that earlier in 7% slower, really looking at getting out of that frantic state because speed just builds that frenzy, you know? So we're just trying to eliminate some of the frantic nature of it. You'll still feel it. You'll still hear the thoughts. They will still disturb you, but you can take some of the frenetic pace out of that and that frantic need to be safe from it sort of goes away. But what I did write is meditation is like the gym for your attention and focus muscles. For our purposes, learning basic meditation and practicing it daily just means learning to let the extraneous stuff come and go, not stopping it while you bring your attention to where you want it to be. Sounds pretty basic, right? It is. That doesn't make it easy. It doesn't make it easy at all. It takes practice. It's not a thing that you're just going to decide, oh, I'm going to be a meditation master tomorrow, but that's what we use it for our purposes, right? So just circling back so that everybody stays on track here with today's little thing is mindfulness. Is this mindfulness? Yeah, it's mindfulness, but mindfulness is just learning to pay attention and engage with what's going on right now. And do I have to meditate? Well, it's a good way to practice how to stay focused and pay attention. That's all that is. So one of the things that I talked about as we sort of end the lecture that ends chapter seven is I talked about the concept accidental emergency multitasking. That's funny because I was reading the chapter last night when I was getting ready to do this talk. I forgot that I wrote about accidental emergency multitasking. So slowing down means putting the brakes on your accidental emergency multitasking. So when we can learn to pay attention to what's going on in front of us and we can practice paying attention and focusing and that becomes part of this slower reaction, this more measured, less frantic reaction to anxiety, fear, and stress, then we can put the brakes on that. So emergency multitask. So this is what I wrote. Accidental emergency multitasking means you enter into a very high anxiety or stress state and try to do everything at the same time. You bounce from thought to thought and fear to fear and rapid sequence. You swing back and forth from thinking and inward focus to trying to rapidly do things with an outward focus and back again. You try to say every word you want to say immediately upon thinking them. You're fixating on the past and the future fumbling with your keys, the pen in your hand, the paper you're trying to write, the book you're trying to read, and the conversation you're trying to listen to. Accidental emergency multitasking when you're in that anxious state means I'm trying to do everything at the same time because I'm in a frantic afraid state and I'm going to speed up. I'm going to rush around because somehow rather it seems like I must get out of this situation. So we want to use the idea that no, no, no, I can pay attention to what's going on now. I can slow down and I could pay attention to one thing at a time. I can just pick up this pen and hold it in my hand. Then I can do the bolt and then I can write the word and then I can fold the paper whatever it happens to be. So learning to do that, paying attention to the here and now, tiny moment by tiny moment is mindfulness. It's not a special state. It's just an action that you take and it can help you avoid this accidental emergency multitasking state where you are in a frantic flurry of thinking, speaking and trying to do everything all at one time in an effort to escape. So I think it's an important concept to be honest with you and I remember writing about it and it seemed to resonate with a lot of people. So I just wanted to bring it up. Accidental emergency multitasking. Bring a bell. Sound familiar for any of you guys. So then I kind of wrapped it up just by saying when you slow down by 7%, you have no choice but to become aware of the current moment and engage in whatever with whatever is happening in that moment. So when you slow down, you do not have a choice. You will engage with what's going on in front of you. Like we're slowing you down so you cannot go into that multitasking mode and you'll have no choice. So like in a way, it's the benefits of mindfulness and meditation without all of that pesky mindfulness and meditation. So the idea that you can learn to slow down and yes, sort of by association that becomes a mindfulness practice which you can augment by practicing meditation for focus skills. There you go. You're tying it in. You are getting mindfulness and meditation without specifically saying, I'm going to learn to be mindful to fix my anxiety. You know, I'm just going to slow down and then by kind of default, you flow into that state of mindfulness as you go. Can't help it. You almost can't help it. That's why I say that 7% slower is a sneaky mindfulness manual. It actually teaches you to be more mindful without setting out to have been a mindfulness manual. So that is chapter seven of this particular book. They're all short. They're just short, easy, kind of light reads. Hopefully that has helped. Let's go through some of the comments like we usually do. Let me go back to the chat here. Oh, you know what I should have done? Hang on one second. We're going to do this again. Walk amongst yourselves. I'm just kidding. Yeah. I had to turn the fan back on here. If I close the door, it gets hot in here. So let's pop on through here. See what everybody is up to turning in from quarantine. Oh, no, Aurora. I hope you're feeling better. That is a huge drag. Let's see. Because of your books, I left my house and went back to work. Yay. Forget my books. You did that. Great job, Tabitha. That's tremendous work. Congratulations. That's really great. Keep going. But you did that. My books did not do that. All they did was give you a path and you followed it. So great job. Here we go. This is a pretty standard definition of mindfulness. Nothing more than being present, aware, and accepting. It's actually kind of boring. The accepting part in that is the biggest part. And I'm sorry. I can't see your name because of restream. Clearly in the Facebook group. But yeah, that is the accepting part is the most important part of that definition. That's what I say. We do not qualify our mindfulness. Like I don't have to be in a particular state. What is up UK? Hey, Carol, let's see here. Aurora says being in the present moment doesn't automatically calm you down. Yes, that is 100% correct. This is one of the reasons why I think people have a hard time with the idea of mindfulness. Being present. I must achieve a state of presence. Because they equate that to like if I achieve that state, then I calm down right away. I mean, will you? Yeah, you know, possibly. I'm not saying that it's not going to happen. But you cannot go into this thinking mindfulness is a shield. And it will immediately calm me down and make me not afraid. It doesn't really work that way. You know, just allowing whatever is happening to happen. At the same time that you're trying to engage outside of your own thoughts and sensations, right? So in a way, sometimes people get tripped up too. I should address this because they think paying attention is I'm going to pay attention inside. So this can backfire, right? It's worth we should probably talk about that for a second. It's worth mentioning because paying attention means paying attention to what's going on around you in the here and now. It doesn't mean focusing in. And some people will literally give you this advice like examine your thoughts, examine your sensations. And I understand the logic behind some of that, but I would strongly suggest that you do your best to just allow them instead of examine them. So I don't mean pay attention to every thought you're having and every catastrophe. I'm saying pay attention to the things that are going on around you, not inside you, which is the problem. You are under the mistaken belief that the things that are happening inside you have to be the most important thing in the universe. So you must pay attention to them only. And really, we're working on paying attention outside of our own skin to the world around us while those things are happening, while you're also having those internal experiences. Right. So it's really important to throw that throw that out there. What up, Ellie? Ellie is here and present. I see what you did there. Hey, Olivia, what's going on? So Natalie says, I've had a hard time doing I'm having a hard time doing mindfulness. It's hard for me to live in the moment I try to pay attention to the present moment. My mind wanders so much. They go travel in the past of the future. OK, but that's OK. And so hey, Serena, how's it going? Good to see you. That's OK, Nath. Like everybody struggles with that. So like even and I've been doing this for years and years and years. I don't hold myself up as some sort of Zen master here or even an expert on mindfulness or meditation. But I can tell you that if I sit down to do my 10 minutes, some days I do great. Some days I can stay completely focused on my breath and it's a great experience. Some days of the 10 minutes, man, nine minutes I am all over the place. Like I am everywhere. I'm thinking about what's what I'm having for dinner. And I'm never really thinking about that all honesty. Think about old song lyrics. I'm thinking about projects I'm working on. Like so it is super normal to have that happen. The win is in the practice. The win is in the practice. Right. So if you achieve a state of focus and being sort of focused on the here and now. Great. That's good. That's great. But it's really the practice that we care about. So it's OK that your mind wanders. It's going to wander. Like our brains are thought making machines. We can't stop that. We just have to learn to surf through in a little bit of a different way. That's OK. Like I said, I can be all over the place. I can be all over the place. I'm just used to it now. Like it doesn't get me down. I used to get frustrated by it. Like, oh, I suck at this. That's like, oh, sorry. You know, if I have to come back to my breath 100 times in 10 minutes, then, oh, well, so be it. That's the way that today is going to have to be. That's OK. See, this is good. Donna says getting present helps me see right now in this moment. There is nothing wrong with me. I'm sitting here a roof. Nothing is wrong except the thoughts. And there's a I've seen people explain that really. If you take. I mean, what's the best way for me? I'm going to choose my words carefully. If you choose to typical anxiety situation that we're always addressing here, right? So you fear some sort of outcome because of the way you feel or your thoughts are telling you that something bad is going to happen or you're ruminating at something that happened in the past. You're dealing in pretty big chunks of time. And by big, I mean anything from like two minutes in the future, like I might have a heart attack and have a psychotic break in two minutes or 60 seconds, or you're dealing with much longer time frames. I'm, you know, I'm having obsessive thoughts about dying alone and not loving my partner or something bad that's going to happen to be down the road or I'm thinking about something that happened to me six months ago at work and I can't stop ruminating on that. But if we start to take time and we slice it into tinier and tinier and tinier chunks and this is a little less esoteric but I like it. In the tiniest sliver of time, each second, each half a second, each nanosecond, you're okay. It doesn't matter what you're thinking about in two minutes or two years or two weeks or from two years ago. In this particular tiny slice of time, you are okay. And that's what Donna is sort of illustrating here and it's sort of a key component of the idea of being mindful and being in each individual moment. And then we just string those moments together. But again, that's easier said than done. People spend their whole lives trying to learn to live that way. It is not an easy thing. It's not an intuitive thing for human beings to do. So let's pop out here. Good job, George. George is out walking. Love it. I've been practicing dropping the anchor from Act. I'll put this up because I know people are going to ask. Thanks Aurora for the comment. Act is acceptance and commitment therapy. We talked about it a little bit I think last week or the week before. Act is great. Like I'm a huge Act fan. The more I learn about acceptance and commitment therapy the more I'm 100% certain it will be one of the modalities that I use on a regular basis. I'm also a big fan of metacognitive therapy but that's where that comes from. Dropping the anchor is a metaphor. Act is full of metaphors like that. In fact, it's funny. I have a friend of mine in Florida that she's now practicing and she sent me somebody actually compiled the list of all the Act metaphors. So I'll start to share them. Here's a ton of them. Dropping the anchor is one of them. So that's where that comes from. Okay, this is cool to touch focus. Sorry, I can't see your name. I love touch focus meditation. I struggle with breath work. If I'm anxious but the touch focus centers my attention. That's great. That's why I did that and I recorded it's on the Insight Timer App. I'll put the link. If somebody, I don't know Bethany if you're still here if you want to put the Insight Timer link if you can do that that'll be great. I did record a touch focus meditation because I know a lot of people do not want to use breath and that's totally fine. Remember there's no magic in your breath. Your breath is not magic. So I hate those words. Breath work, grounding breath, deep cleansing breath, connecting breath, like inhale positivity and exhale negativity. No, your breath is not magic and it doesn't work that way. Like it maybe down the road you can start to delve into those things and if those feel good to you that's great but right now there's no magic in your breath. It's just a place that's always with you but if you don't like focusing on your breath you can focus on something visually. Thanks, Bethany. Bethany just put the link up there where you'll find those meditations. But if you can just get to that point where you can focus on something then that's all that matters. Touch, focus. Some people like I said walk. There's a million ways to do this. So it's all good. Somebody said I just saw something about calming your thoughts. We'll get to that in a second. This is great. And the Twitch comments I always got to call out the Twitch people. Thanks, Twitch. Deciding what meditation is before you do it is self-defeating. It completely is self-defeating. Like it's nothing more than like I'm just going to take some time and just be with my thoughts and my body and my sensations and everything. And I'm just going to choose where I put my attention. That's all it is. But you're 100% right when you have expectations. Meditation will somebody said it and I'm going to get that. But I'm going to get to it. Somebody said I have a hard time calming my thoughts or slowing my thoughts. You don't have to. Like don't go into it thinking I'm going to sit down and slow down my thoughts or I'm going to stop my thoughts now. No you're not. They're going to come no matter what. You're practicing a new way to relate to them. Oh hey. Scary thought about taking a kitchen knife and killing the whole family. I hear you but I'm breathing right now. So I'll get back to you later or not. That's really what we're learning and we're practicing that in meditation. All right. So hey Jenny from Australia 4 30 a.m. What are you doing up man? Crazy. Let's pop this in. This looks like this is a common thing. I see all I do meditation what I don't understand is sometimes I feel like I fell asleep. So I don't get the benefits of meditation. That happens. So I know that that's okay. There's no crime in this. I fall asleep. I have actually nodded off during meditation. It happens. It's not ideal. Meditation teachers will usually say don't meditate laying down because of that. Like because of that you may it's easier to fall asleep and not off that way. Okay. I mean that's fine. If it happens it happens. Does it mean you didn't get the benefit? All right. So maybe you didn't get to practice. But if you nod it off it meant you needed some sleep. So there's no right or wrong there. I have fallen asleep while meditating. It's happened to me and it will happen to me again. It's okay. Totally okay. So don't sweat it. If that happens that happens. So all you lost was an opportunity to practice a little bit. But you know what? If you have the time you wake up do it again for two or three minutes. That's okay. But the beauty of this also is short little chunks a minute, two minutes, three minutes, five minutes you can sprinkle them throughout the day. It's great. I think it's great. You don't need two hours to meditate like going to the gym. Let's see here. I like the colors in my eyelids while I belly breathe. Okay. See everybody has a different way to do it. Donna put up that she likes to get in touch with the feeling of her toes. Like intent focus paying attention on purpose. So you can see there's so many different ways to do this. It's really great. Oh, this is a good comment. Let me throw it up because this is a great John Kabat-Zinn quote. You can't stop the waves but you can learn to surf. 100% correct. We're not trying to stop our thoughts. Squash the fear. Quiet our minds. Stop the anxiety. We're not trying to do that. We're just trying to learn to surf. We're practicing that. This is really good. Let's see. This is good. Let's see. G.B. says I'm listening to this as I'm working which is a first for me. Working slower is also better. Imagine that like when you don't run around frantically you get more out of your days. I will tell you this is not have doesn't have anything to do with meditation or mindfulness but the reason why I wrote this book about learning to slow down is I will tell you that it has been a really changing thing for my entire life. So when I get and this is what I do I just pile too many things on my plate. I'm going to do that forever until I die. I know I will. That's okay. But I can catch that and I think and I know that as crazy as it sounds if I can sit down and start my day with 10 minutes of focus training and meditation and I can like say okay well today I'm just going to do my best to slow down. I'm going to try and slow down. I'm going to blow it. I'm going to wind up rushing around. That's going to happen but if I can catch it and slow down as crazy as it sounds I will accomplish more and feel more productive and more accomplished and satisfied at the end of a day where I have just moved slowly through my tasks as opposed to the way I used to do it which was like a speed demon just brute forcing my way through a million different tasks with 72 windows open like yeah it didn't work out well at all. I mean shit got done but there wasn't a healthy way for me to get it done. This way I literally get more done and the quality of my work is better. When I go slower it's real paradox I wrote about that later on in the book we'll talk about it in one of the later chapters. The paradox of the fact that I actually do more when I go slower because my theory there is that I think I'm a little bit more focused on the actual activity as opposed to all the extraneous sort of nervous energy and misdirected attention. You're thinking about 62 things at one time. We'll also talk about the fact that some people don't want to go slower because they think that oh I'm a multitasker man I'm always in high gear. It's what I do that makes them feel good about themselves. I was that person we'll talk about that in another chapter down the road on one Monday but that's one of the things that that happens too like you have to start to give up some of that. Oh I have to be the fast guy. Maybe maybe you can make that choice but try being the slow guy slow person. Let's keep going let's keep going. Don it's okay sorry to talk so much about this you're not talking and I get it this has been really impactful for you. I appreciate what you're adding um let's see here start of my oh this is great okay let's pop it up here I'm sorry I can't see your name start of my exposure therapy walks around my block every night it goes well so far but I want to work further than that without fear so it's great that you started that like huge fist bump ohm good job doing that love it just it's not about doing it without fear like we do this work we do it with the fear the fear is the whole point I can walk around my block while I'm afraid and nothing actually happens to me because I'm afraid so that's the point the fear teaches you that like well I'm afraid but in this case fear isn't danger for whatever reason I'm afraid whatever that happens to be but the fear doesn't equal actual danger there's no actual consequence to that regardless of where that might come from the angle it comes from and I learned that I can walk around the block while afraid and nothing bad happens anyway and that's first you learn to be better at being afraid and then the fear will begin to fade so it's really important it's great that you're doing that work just don't don't get trapped in that expectation like I have to find a way to not be afraid so I could walk further no no no walk further while you're afraid and then after a while you will stop being afraid I know that sucks but that's just sort of the way it is I will pop this up for anybody that wants to go get it that's the URL to find the meditations and insight to totally free there's nothing to pay for I don't I don't make a game that's not true I actually do make money on that I think last month Inside Timer sent me six dollars and anybody that publishes on Inside Timer like shares in the pool I guess I don't know so I earned six dollars from Inside Timer last month big money so anyway so Australia's here excellent love it I'm at work okay let's see here oh love it I'm at work typing I feel the panic is rising in my head it's racing but I worked my way through it and I am okay Christina that's so great like love it that's exactly the way you're supposed to do it super unpleasant experience disruptive annoying all of those things frightening you might be a little shaky for a while you might feel a little bit vulnerable a little weak for a while that's okay you did it nothing bad happened that's awesome love it thank you for sharing let's see here so it's only 8 30 p.m in South Africa we are global guys I love it is it common to not know oh yeah yeah let me throw this up it's a good question about the breathing is it common to not not know how to do the breathing meditation or you think you do in the wrong way yeah especially for people who get fixated on their breath like a lot of anxious people have breath centric anxiety it feels like I can't breathe I can't get a deep enough breath I'm focused on my breathing all the damn time that can breath focused meditation can be challenging so what I would suggest you do is try some other focus point pick a point on the wall a picture on the wall some people do use music that's okay you can try guided meditations to start although I think guided meditation sooner or later you're gonna leave that behind and meditate in silence but some people just like a droning sound or you can hold something in your hand I the one of the ones I did an insight timer was I did one on visual focus and I did one on holding anything like pick something so I can grab one of these coins right and I can just if I wanted to I could spend 10 minutes just bringing my focus back to this coin in my hand it what it feels like the ridges the edge the texture the temperature I can do that so you can use you can use touch or visual also it's okay yeah many people feel like they can't do the breathing it's okay totally okay this is pretty big deal again sorry I can't see your name I feel like meditation works well for me but I don't stay consistent with it this is definitely one of those skills that you sort of have to practice with now here's what I always say about meditation we use it as a tool it's a navigation tool so like Christina was saying that she panicked at work but she let it happen and she worked her way through it you don't have to launch into meditation when you panic no problem James anytime you don't have to launch into meditation when you panic a lot of people make that mistake too like oh I gotta go sit down and meditate away the panic that's not true but the skill that you learn in meditation of paying attention to something and focusing where you want not where your fear tells you to focus is a navigation tool that helps me get through it that's what helps somebody like Christina get through her panic and take at work so it's it does help to practice it on a regular basis if you only do it because you think I should meditate I'm having an anxious day so let me meditate to calm down and you only do it then you are I'm not saying that's bad you know I'm not saying you're doing it wrong but you're missing benefits that way I look at meditation as a skill that a musician musicians practice their scales their practice chords we you know this is what you do so that when you're up on the stage you can play the music you practice it before you need it you know sports teams practice the military runs drills actors rehearse like meditation practice consistently every day if you can do it or at least consistently and not just when you think you need it to calm down there's benefits to that because then you can use that skill when you need it to navigate right to navigate let's see no no no no I'm gonna keep going I use the calm app cool calm app is cool too I used to use calm all the time they're all good insight timer headspace calm they're all great I have no I have no dog in that fight really so if you like to calm app totally cool if you like insight time if you like headspace go for it whatever works nothing wrong with that I'm not sure about the chicken nugget reference but but I'm cool I'm here for it it's all good let's see here with panic I shift focus away from that is that correct or escape no that's kind of correct like if this is a good question thank you Don I appreciate you asking it's not about if it's right or wrong it's really the intent and it's really subtle and it's really nuanced and from episode to episode it might change for you to a little bit like from occurrence to occurrence it might change but it's intent if I am doing this to drown it out and get away and run away from it well that intent kind of backfires on you but if your intent is I can focus on my walk I can focus on my coffee I can focus on my conversation I can focus on my grandson whatever at the time while I experience this panic you're good to go you're good to go totally good to go so that's a good question a lot of people get confused by that so thanks Donna let's see here okay well I don't want to keep going too far into this but what guides can I use I don't like when I hear my heart rate it makes me think bad thoughts correct you would want to feel your heartbeat and you would want to think the thoughts right so you can practice that again intent matters so it's that's that whole like well give me another way to meditate because if I sit quietly I'll feel my heartbeat yeah at some point you have to learn to feel your heartbeat like running from that is part of it petuates this right it's really important um what do I think about using a fit bit with health anxiety I think it's a terrible idea if you are checking your heart well look I'm wearing a whoop strap right and I have I've had a Garmin watch of Apple watches there is no way in the universe I could have ever worn an Apple watch didn't exist when I was really struggling I hate to say that but it was true I could have never want to whoop a Garmin and Apple watch at my worst never I could have never done it it would have made things so much worse for me if you are wearing your Fitbit so that you can keep track of your heartbeat like I need to know what my heartbeat is I have to check it like oh I'm not feeling so good what's my heartbeat throw that don't throw it away you don't throw it lock it away give it to your husband give it to your friend do not let me wear the Fitbit until I'm better I think it's a terrible terrible idea if you if that's what you're doing it with it there are some anxious people that wear a Fitbit or an Apple watch and they never look at their heartbeat they don't care they're using it to track their steps or get text messages totally fine but if you immediately go to that Fitbit to just check let me just see what my heart rate is just in case you got to take that thing off it's not helping you at all at all hopefully that helps Marni let's see I've had to face a lot of fears in the past it's just a big comment let me see two hours drive and I will be away from home for about a week I'm a little afraid but I'm gonna do it anyway hashtag do it anyway that's a Josh Fletcher thing right go for it good luck on that trip man whoever you happen to be I'm sorry I can't see your name why didn't I need any of this mindfulness stuff for the first 20 well that's that's a it's a question you could ask for sure why didn't I need any of this we can make the argument that like I'm I ain't nobody more recovered than me from an anxiety disorder and I I think this stuff is really valuable in my life I wish I had looked into these things when I was 18 years old when I was 15 years old when I was 22 years I wish that I had really invested time to learn these skills and use them so I don't know if it's about like well why didn't we need this because then you're looking at is like well now I need it as a cure or a fix like these are just good life habits in general so I get the question but think about it beyond just anxiety um let's see here don't use Fitbit you're correct I think I have an I'm afraid I'm going to slip it I'm okay this was me I'm gonna put this up on the screen I'm afraid I'm gonna slip out of my body have an added body experience and not get back in so this is one of those things that I think why I talk about the practical part of meditation and we got to wrap it up in a few minutes here but the practical part of meditation super important because people get this sort of like impression about what meditation is so there's two things here either number one you have an idea that meditation is somehow changing your your state your spiritual state or that it's possible to somehow meditate yourself into an added body experience I'm not going to tell you that there are not people that teach that you should do that however that's not what meditation really is it doesn't have to be that at all it's just learning to pay attention the second half of that fear that you're describing is if I let go and just pay attention to my breath or or rock that I hold on my hand then then I'm going to slip out of my body because what I'm doing when I'm not meditating is I'm actively holding myself in my body all the time which is wrong you're literally not holding yourself in your body ever so the only way to go past that Linda unfortunately is you're going to have to start to let go now you might only be able to do that for 10 seconds 15 seconds 30 seconds 60 seconds start as small as you want but it's that letting go thing to see that well I don't I don't slip out of my body but I'm going to have to let that happen because you think it will for 30 seconds and then for 40 seconds and for 60 seconds so there's that let's see here good question I think we're good here mornings and evenings are horrible for me that's pretty normal heart flutters and adrenaline so I try to meditate through that so this is one of those things and I'll just take a couple more and then we got to go but this is one of those things where I try to meditate through that so what I would say Penelope in this situation is when you're feeling anxious or you're panicking or you're experiencing those heart flutters and the dread that's not a time that you want to run and sit and say oh gotta meditate now I have to meditate I better meditate now to make this go away that's kind of an unrealistic expectation that's not being fair to yourself so you can again you can use the skills that you learn in meditation to navigate through that but I would advise against running for I gotta meditate now so that I can make this go away I gotta calm down with my meditation it doesn't really really happen that's not fair meditation is like bullets off a Superman when you're feeling that way like and people think that somehow you can go to the cushion sit down meditate and make it all go away and achieve a state of calmness but it is literally like bullets bounce on off a Superman when you're at a certain state you cannot meditate it away that's not fair not fair to do that I'll just take this one real quick useless information one of the biggest reasons we choose the home school practice slowing down really does help excellent all right I'm going to answer this one because I Sonya I see you've asked a couple of times when you feel dizzy are you actually or is your mind creating unreal symptoms we and I'll end it with this I very rarely address specific symptoms but you we have all heard statements like oh my god I got the news about Billy and the room was spinning we've all heard that we literally have phrases in our language and you guys have heard me talk about this before that talk about that when you get overwhelmed with bad news a big emotion you're excited we have people like oh my god I had to sit down they told me I won the lottery I had to sit down like we literally described that because that is a normal part of all human experience one of the body reactions to big emotions like intense fear anxiety or dread is the feeling of being clear weeks called the giddiness which I guess is a bit of an old term but that feeling of disequilibrium being a little bit off balance that is normal that is just part of what bodies do when afraid so are you imagining it no you're not imagining it all but just be careful about the way you evaluate that I'm dizzy what I would say is if the room is literally spinning and you and you cannot get off the floor then you are dizzy if it just feels like you're going to fall down well you're anxious and your body is doing anxious things right that's but we we nobody would nobody would question with us when we use those phrases like I won the lottery I just found out I won 32 million dollars and oh my god I had to sit down like the room was spinning like you would get that nobody would question that we understand like oh yeah that's what happens when we experience big emotions and things like fear and dread so that's what's going on with that just be careful about calling it debilitating it's not necessarily not saying you're not dizzy because I can't specifically know in your situation but just be careful about what you call it and how you interpret it but it's super normal doesn't mean you're broken right so that's it guys I appreciate you coming by today we are like at the 47 minute mark so I got to end it if you are following along we'll be back next week what are we going to talk about next week let's look I always try to look chapter 8 is oh acknowledging okay so chapter 8 is called learning to go 7% slower acknowledging so there's the acknowledgement and then there's the action so that's next week out of this book we will be back at the same time if you do not have this book you can get it at 7% hey I'll put it up on the screen you can get it at 7% slower.com all the ways to get it are there feel free to check it out all my other books are at the anxious truth.com if you want to check those out too hopefully they are helpful actually helping a lot of people I'm proud of that and I'll be back next week same time same place this will stay on YouTube it is the best way to watch them I think like subscribe to the YouTube channel and hit the notification bell or whatever all of these videos Recovery Monday are all in the same playlist on YouTube but this will also stay on my main Facebook page and in the Facebook group it's just hard to find in the Facebook group because it's a fire hose and then these scroll off the end and there's no good search term so if you like the live streams and the videos just subscribe to the YouTube channel and that is it we are done thanks guys I will see you next week thanks for all the comments they were all good and we'll be back later