 For almost all my life, I have been lonely. Growing up, I didn't have many friends and had trouble creating meaningful relationships with others. I lived with my mom, and sometimes she could be emotionally unavailable and distant. It was kind of awkward and difficult connecting with her on a personal level, and I found myself avoiding it just because that was easier. Despite this, I knew that as a single mom, she worked hard. She picked up extra shifts at work just so we had food on our table. I felt guilty for her even feeling like maybe she wasn't enough. So, on my 18th birthday, I was really surprised to see the house decorated with streamers and balloons and neatly wrapped presents on the couch. I never got this many presents. Usually it was something small, like a notebook or a pack of pencil crayons. I felt, over the moon, when I asked my mom if we could afford all this stuff, she said that I shouldn't worry and that I deserved it, so I opened all my presents. She bought me a beautiful dress, makeup, and even a new phone. When I went to thank my mom, she said, this isn't all. Go get ready for your big surprise. I was shocked. What could be as great as all the stuff she already bought me? I did as she said, though, putting on my dress and playing around with my new makeup. When I came downstairs, I was eager to see what the next surprise could be, shortly after the doorbell rang. I didn't think much of it when my mom told me to go answer it. I thought it was the mailman or maybe a neighbor. My stomach dropped. When I saw about six or seven girls my age standing at the doorstep with smiles on their faces, sleeping bags tucked under their arms. I recognized them as some of the more popular kids at my school and distantly wondered how my mother persuaded them to even come. I remember I used to be friends with them before my dad left, but that was a long time ago and it was like they were new to me again. My mom came out and said, surprise, a sleepover birthday party for you. I didn't know what to say. I slammed the door in their faces. I was terrified. I always kept to myself at school, afraid of being judged and vulnerable. I thought it was just easier to be independent and trust myself only because that was safest. When I saw all these faces, people I didn't know, I kind of freaked out. I got really angry at my mom because she didn't care that I was nervous around new people to give some context. Some things had happened to me in my early childhood, which made me more introverted. When I was about ten years old I lived with my mom and dad in a beautiful home. They would spoil and love me, which was all ten-year-old me could ask for. Life was perfect for a while until my mom and dad started fighting. It started with a little bickering then escalated to huge fights that would last through the night. I thought I could handle it because I truly saw it coming but I guess nothing could prepare me. A little innocent, sheltered girl for the day my father abandoned us. It was my mother and I who left. I was devastated and so confused about how this happened so suddenly. After that, things went downhill for a few years. I became more secluded and isolated myself from others. My father's betrayal made me wary around others. My mother also took a severe left turn. She tried to put a smile on her face, though I couldn't ignore the bottles and her heavy drinking every night. She numbed her mind and became super distant from me. So I had to wait through my early teenage years alone. It was exhausting and only fueled my loneliness. Thankfully, years later, she reigned in her bad habits, though I knew they weren't completely gone. When it was just me and my mom, she became really strict and didn't allow me to see my friends too often. She said friends just stab you in the back. At first, this annoyed me. I would always ask her to have friends over and she always said no. I would only see people at school and then be locked in my pretty prison for the rest of the day. As I grew older, I stopped trying since I was starting to lose a lot of my social skills and seemed to prefer being alone. I told myself my mother was so strict because she was still broken too. Back to my birthday, I was still upset. I was also surprised because she never invited people like this. She didn't care though and just let them in. At first, I was still annoyed and afraid. It was weird and new having friends over and I didn't know how to act. After spending a bit of time with them though, it turned out the girls were actually really nice. We had a lot of fun and spent the night talking and playing games. Sooner was close to midnight and my mom was fast asleep. When we started talking about parties and I reluctantly admitted that I had never been to one, they were shocked and said that we could go to one tonight if I wanted to. Which would mean sneaking out. I should have been scared but the idea thrilled me in a way too. So we got ready and slipped away through the window in my bedroom, being as quiet as possible. At first, I was a little nervous, I mean this was my first party, but the girls actually stuck by me and helped me loosen up a bit. I started to dance and have fun and we danced through most of the night. It was so amazing talking to new people and seeing how lively and bright a room could get. It showed me what I had been missing all this time. And it helped me break through my shell a bit. Being alone for so long showed me how precious it can be to spend time with others. For once, I wasn't worrying, I was just enjoying myself with all these people. We danced for what felt like forever. Before people started running and screaming to get out of the house, I heard police sirens and immediately gathered up my friends and we all rushed back home. Thrilled at the fact we got away, adrenaline coursing through our blood. We easily climbed up to my window and I was shocked at what I saw. My room was completely trashed. Books, clothes, makeup, everything was sprawled everywhere. I rushed to my door to open it, fearing something had happened to my mother only to see her standing on the other side, wide awake, as if she'd been waiting for us. Mom? What happened? I asked, gesturing at the messy room frantically. She stared at me blankly for a moment before she started screaming. She told me I was a disgrace, that I was an embarrassment to the family. Of course I felt terrible and guilty. My mom put in a lot of effort for my birthday and I just twisted all her good intentions. This behavior wasn't like me at all. I apologized profusely, but it didn't seem to work and she only got angrier. I had never seen her like this, so it started to scare me. Then, suddenly, she said, get out of my house, I never want to see you again. I was shocked and my heart immediately shattered into a million pieces. I wanted to beg her to forgive me, but I couldn't believe that she was kicking me out over this. I didn't say anything though, as I packed a few things, gathered my terrified friends and we left. My friends offered to let me stay over at their house, but after the disaster that was tonight, I didn't want to burden them anymore. So I insisted they go home and dialed my aunt's phone number, one of my only relatives who lived within 20 minutes, and told her what happened. I let out a little sigh of relief when she said she'd be right over. I hadn't seen my aunt since my dad left, but I had always liked her and how calm and steady she was. My aunt picked me up and she seemed nervous and worried. I assumed her nerves were just from the sudden severity of my situation. As we were driving, I get a text from one of my friends from the sleepover. When I read it, my jaw dropped. It was my mom who called the cops on the party. And there were pictures of her yelling at terrified kids to get out. She looked crazed and frantic. I was so mortified. How did she even find us? When we finally got to her house, I was ready to collapse onto the bed and go back to sleep. But I jumped when I saw a silhouette in the living room. I thought it was maybe my aunt's friend, but I was shocked when I clicked on the light and saw someone I hadn't seen in eight years. My dad. At first, all I could do was stare at him. I hadn't seen him in so long and it was like he had never changed. I was transported back to those years ago, the last time I felt truly happy. Then I got so angry. He left us and he had been here this whole time. I yelled at him, told him he didn't care about us, he was a terrible person. It took them a while to have me calm down. And I really didn't want to. It was too much hurt and pain for one night. However, I eventually calmed down and my dad slowly told me he was so sorry and that he had an explanation. What my dad said next completely changed my life and perception of everything. He said that my mom and dad lived together happily until she started changing. She started becoming more obsessed with money and material things. She was also struggling with addiction and he tried to help to see what he could do but she didn't care. One day my dad's at work and my mom decided to steal all of my father's assets and money and take off with me. The situation quickly spiraled. My dad lost custody of me and my mom filed a restraining order against him. He was left so off balance after her betrayal that he had to move in with his sister. He also said that my mother always got jealous of other's success. She probably thought that the sleepover would make me even more dependent on her when I realized I hated having people over. Except the exact opposite had happened. So the sight of others being the source of my content set her off. She was angry that she wasn't able to control the situation. That's why she reacted like that and why I was never allowed to see my friends and grew up so introverted. It was a lot to take in. After processing it for a while, I realized I learned so much about myself and was able to confront my trauma through this experience. It showed me how much I actually want to be with other people. I decided to believe my dad and moved in with him and my aunt. It was different and slightly difficult to settle into but once I did, I was so happy. He let me hang out with my friends and meet new people. I no longer had to sneak out because my dad and I built a foundation based on trust. One day, my dad and I eventually went back to my old house, only to find it empty. The house was mostly trashed, but we did notice that my mom's passport, suitcase, and clothes were gone. My mother had fled. Perhaps she knew that I would find out her theft and do anything to get justice for my dad. We raced to the police and told them everything about her stealing from my dad and her nature. This experience helped me realize how important it is to meet new people and that I hated being alone. My whole life, I was so dependent on only my mom that I was blinded, missing her true colors. My mom had such an iron grip on me for 18 years that I forgot how much I really love socializing until my eyes were opened again. As I grow older, I meet more people and learn a lot about the world. Going out and meeting new people doesn't have to be scary. It can be a lot of fun and super exciting. My mother's betrayal was probably the most heartbreaking thing that ever happened to me. Hearing the truth, however, healed me in unexpected ways. I can blossom and learn so much now that I'm free.