 Well, here we are again, abroad with the Lockhart. Mrs. Lockhart are taking a trip to Europe. That is, Mrs. Lockhart is taking Mr. Lockhart. As you probably know, Mr. Lockhart represents the average type of businessman. Blunt, comfortable, knows his own mind, enjoys his business and community, and would much rather have gone fishing. Mrs. Lockhart represents the pleasant type of housewife, belongs to the women's club and the literary club of her town, and still retains the spirit of romance. We find the Lockhart as they are packing their trunks and preparing to disembark at Southampton. Well, we'll be getting off soon, dear. Are you all packed? All packed? Will you please tell me how you got all this stuff into my trunk before we left home? Why it all went in nicely? Well, the trunk's full, and there's one suit, two hats and four shirts left over. Well, let me do it. There's a place for everything if you put everything in its place. You go up on deck. I don't want to go up on deck. Then sit up on the berth and give me some room. The steward said, we'd be going ashore in a few minutes. There's no hurry. Do you remember how long it took us to get on this boat? No, I don't. Move your feet. It took us two hours to get on, and I guess over here it'll take us two days to get off. Don't be silly. The English are not as slow as you think. There now, we're all packed. Well, where did you put them? Where they should have been. The hats in the hat box, one inside the other, and the shirts in the shirt box, and the suit on a hanger. Well, I couldn't see where they were. Oh, you're not patient enough. You can put your feet down now, dear, and lock up the trunk. Well, where's the key gone to? In the lock of the trunk where you left it when you opened it. Great little woman. You know, you should have been a man. If I had have been, I don't know what would have become of you. Oh, I would have. Come in. All ready to go ashore, sir? We're all ready, Stuart. Well, we belong in getting off, Stuart. Oh, no, sir, just a few minutes. Well, he are, Stuart, and thanks for your attention. Thank you, sir, and a pleasure. This way, sir, follow me. Come along, dear. My, I sort of hate to leave this little cabin. Leave it? Why? Oh, because we've been so happy in it. You are the sentimental old girl, aren't you? And you are, too, with the trouble with you as you won't admit it. Come along, please. Coming, Stuart. And now for England, the land of marmalade and monicles. Well, people will hear you. Well, it's true, isn't it? You wait and see. We are, dear, on land last. Our trunk will be under letter L. There it is, a letter L. Oh, I see the trunk. Call a customs officer, dear. Oh, now for some more red tape. Say there, will you inspect this trunk? Sadly, sir, have you anything to declare? Now, I'll tell you just what we've got in this. Don't trouble, sir. Just read down this list, sir. Will you please? Here, dear, you read that I haven't got my glasses. Showing machines, rifles, opium, automobiles. Oh, no, we haven't any of these. Very good. Madam, I'll just mark your trunk. Are you taking the boat train to London? Yes, we have reservation. There it is over there, sir. Just get into any carriage. Dear Porter, gents, junk, boat train to London. Is that all there is to this customs examination? Yes, sir. Thank you. Well, what do you think of that? He didn't even open it. Come along, dear. Let's follow the Porter. Say, is that the train we travel in? I suppose so, dear. With that toy engine, we'll never get to London in that place. Oh, Lord, I wish Charlie could see us now. Let's get in here, dear. Now, now, where's that Porter gone to? Here he comes. Porter, what did you do with our trunk? It's in the forward luggage van, sir. In the where? In the baggage car, dear. Oh, well, where's my check? Your what, sir? My check for the trunk. There are no checks, sir. No baggage check? Well, how do I get my trunk? We'll get to London, sir. Just call the Porter and point it out. But suppose someone else is taking it? Oh, no one ever does that, sir. Why not? Well, sir, it isn't their property. Well, I'll be... Boy, you certainly believe in human nature. I'd like to see them try that in Chicago. Is that all, sir? Hey, oh, I see. Yes, that's all except this, I suppose. Here you are. Here. Sit here, dear, beside me. Well, if that doesn't beat all... Shh, not the loud, dear. Why? There are people in the car, in the carriage. Oh, I see. Oh, dear, we've started. Oh, I'm so thrilled. Well, I didn't hear anybody holler all aboard. Shh, maybe they don't say that over here. Oh, Lord, no customs red tape, no check for the trunk, no all aboard, little toy trains. Lord, what a country. Dear, not the loud. Say, are these people English? I think so. They're not talking to each other. And nobody in this compartment has said a word. English people are supposed to be cold, you know. Cold? They're frozen. But here goes to break the ice. Now we'll be careful what you say. I'll ask this girl sitting opposite of this here. Oh, do be careful, dear. Excuse me, miss. Do you mind telling me how far it is to London? Oh, not at all. It's about, uh, 28 and a half miles. Uh, thank you. It's great, all right. Yeah, she says it's, uh, 78 and a half miles. Yes, I heard. Uh, uh, miss. How long will it take us to get there? An hour and 40 minutes by this train. Oh, uh, thank you. It's great, all right. Some speed. Now, you know, that girl doesn't drop her H's. Pardon? Oh, I was just, uh, saying that you didn't drop your H's. And I was thinking that, uh, you didn't talk through your nose. Of course not. It's only New England farmers that talk through their nose. And it's only customers that drop their H's. Well, now, now we've learned something. I'm glad you have. Huh? Dear, ask the lady, oh, why that other man got up and left so quickly. Uh, miss, uh, my wife wants to know why that man that was sitting over there in the corner got up and left so quickly. He's one of the old school probably. And there are too much conversations. You mean, uh, you don't talk on these English trains? No, English people very seldom talk to each other on the trains. You don't say. Now, uh, now, why is that? Uh, why is that, miss? Oh, just isn't done. Uh, it isn't done, dear. Oh, I see. Uh, but, uh, I enjoy talking to Americans. I like to hear your accent. Oh, we haven't any accent. It's you that have the accent. Oh, well, that depends on the point of view. Um, now, do you mind if I ask you a question? Not at all. Do all Westerners carry guns? Well, no, they don't. Thank you. It's quite all right. I have a cousin in America. Oh, have you? Where does he live? In, uh, Chicago. Oh, you mean, Chicago? Well, if he lives in Chicago, he probably carries a gun. How exciting! It sure is in Chicago. Look, dear, you're missing the scenery. Isn't it beautiful? Yeah, mighty pretty. But, uh, where are the billboards? Oh, don't allow them in the country. They spoil the landscape, you know. Well, now, say, that's an idea. Oh, dear, look at all the funny little chimney pots. Yes, and look at those motorcars driving on the wrong side of the road. Are you sure it's the wrong side of the road? Why, certainly, ma'am. Look at them. Ah, but you forget we drove on the wrong side of the road before you in America had any roads to drive on. Well, I'll be darned. That's right. I never thought of that. Look, dear, every little house has its garden. Why, yes, it has. Oh, yes, the Englishman loves his home wherever it is. We're coming into London now. See that large glass building? Yes, I see it. That's Christie Palace. And look over there. That's this sister and Big Ben. So that's Big Ben. Not so big, is it? It is for England. Well, ma'am, why, back home in our town, we've got a clock. Oh, don't mind. Don't mind my husband. Uh, now I... Oh, I don't. What's that? Well, here we are. This is London. We're just coming into Waterloo Station. So, this is London. London, all out! Well, goodbye. I hope you have a pleasant visit in slow, old England. It's been fast enough for me so far. And remember, though we are supposed to be conventional, we always speak when spoken to. We are not slow in seeing a joke, and we get as much fun out of watching you as you do looking at us. And if ever you're in difficulty, ask the policemen. Goodbye. Goodbye, miss. Goodbye. Say, do you know, I think that young lady has been taking me for a ride all the way, and I didn't know it. Well, you deserve it. You're too conceited. Porter, sir? Oh, I... Oh, Porter. Here's a point of view. Yeah. We must get the trunk. That's right. Porter, we have a trunk somewhere. Very good, sir. Follow me. She'll be in the luggage van. Anything I said, Portman, she'll glad stillness carry on. I don't know what those things are, but we got a trunk and two suitcases. Here we are, sir. What's the name? Lockhart. That is... There it is, there. Lockhart? Right, you are, sir. We always verify the name by the label on the trunk. You want a taxi, sir? Yes, Porter, and we want to go to the Metropolitan Hotel. Very good, madam. Thanks, ma'am. Give this to the Porter, dear. Porter, how much do you want? Why, sir, or what we'll do? Well, how much is that? Shilling, sir. Well, now, let's see. Watch this. That's a Sydney bit, sir. I don't know what that means, but I guess it isn't up here. Look here, you picked this out. Well, sir, this is a Sydney bit, sir. This is off a crown. That's a two-ball piece. And this one here, sir, is a shilling. Thank you, sir. All right, George. That's a belt. I never saw such money in my life. Well, dear, isn't it all interesting? Those different customs and manners. That's why travel is such an education, dear. I suppose so. But, you know, I can't get over what that young girl said to us in the train. What was that, dear? That these English people get as much fun out of watching us as we do out of looking at them. I suppose they do, dear. I know that that English girl was laughing up her sleeve at you. To go on, was she? Yes, she winked at me. Well, do you know what I think? English people with a sense of humor is amazing. The custom man takes your word for what's in the trunk. You don't have to have a check for your trunk. That little toy train went 60 miles an hour. No billboards to spoil the countryside say, I think we're going to like this country. I know we will. Now, aren't you glad you came, Will? Well, now I won't say yes, and I won't say no. But I will say that you don't know how little you know until you leave home. Well, well, well. And so we shall leave the Lockhearts as they arrive at the hotel in London. Next week, we shall follow them as they visit some of the sites in London. And so we hope that you will join us again while we are abroad with the Lockhearts.