 Hi everyone, I'm Brittany. I am a dance teacher, singing teacher, freelance writer, actor. And I'm here, I used to work in schools a lot. So I was a chaplain, a youth worker, and a singing teacher in high schools and primary schools. Yeah. And youth centers. And I think that's about it. That's all right. Yeah, and then that's me. So would you categorize yourself as like a youth worker in the previous life and now you're a more all rounder? Yeah, definitely. Yeah, I think that youth worker is probably the best way to phrase it. And now I've gone back to my creative roots, I think, and using that to kind of be creative. Nice, nice. Okay, so we'll get straight into it. And I'm going to use that bit to kind of bring it back into everything that I want to talk about here, because it's the dancing, the singing, the acting. Yeah. It takes a lot of nerves to do that. So we'll see how we can bring it all into what we're going to talk about. So we're doing a middle school kind of roundup today. So in particular, the year nine side of things and year nine is the point where I see or I've seen kids kind of, that's the main major turning point in this generation. When I was at school, because we didn't have a year seven, it would have been probably year 10 as the kind of turning point. And now it's year nine because of the year sevens. So you start high school, year seven, you're scared, you're unsure. And then towards the end of the year, you get a bit confident. You're like, oh, this isn't too bad. I've done it, I've survived. And then year eight is interesting because those year sevens are now like, oh, we know what high school's like. And we've got some younger kids. Yeah, there's someone smaller than us in the school. Yeah, we're no longer rookies. So year eight's more like trying to solidify what they know and kind of grow on it. But all at the same time, they become a little bit more cheeky and they're a little bit more rebellious and they're kind of sussed out the system. Year nine is more an expansion on that again. But then the magic happens where puberty hits. And that's when, yeah, mood swings and a lot of drama happens and the boys start liking the girls and vice versa and all these relationship things. And a lot more in this day and age is more social media, like hard social media. And I see a lot more bullying online as you get older and a lot more bullying outside of the social media as well as you get older. Exclusions, which is probably one of the main types of bullying that I've seen where they would just lose or they disband friends or they kick them out of the group, have falling outs. And yeah, that's that side of things. But tell me about your school history, your personal days at school. Oh, I have quite a bizarre schooling experience. So I went to a little school that did pre-primary through year 12. It was tiny. So when I was in year 12, there were four of us in my year 12 graduating class. We were just like really little. So I had just, I never, well, I still experienced a lot of the, you know, things that kids and teenagers do. It was just in a very odd setting. So it's kind of like if you didn't get along with your year group, you just didn't have. A good time. You didn't have the time at all. So. Where are you from? Kunar. Kunar. Tiny little school in Kunar, which has been kind of, I don't know the legalities, but it's been revamped and taken over. Kunar, that sounds like too close to the city to be such a small school. Too close to the city? Yeah. Oh. Like I was thinking country. No, no. So it was like at that time, it was partnered with the local church. So it was kind of like a little, I guess, shoot-off of the church. Was it a private school? Yeah. Okay. Yeah, so I mean, I didn't enjoy school. I was undiagnosed ADHD until like my final semester of uni. So I just thought I didn't have the attention span for it. So I really struggled to pay attention. I got really frustrated a lot. I wish you typical smash out your homework and assignment the night before it's due kind of person. Yeah. I honestly think that I have it as well. I don't know how severe or how mild, probably more than mild, but I think it's like a dial that just, I think that's what that is anyway. Yeah. Yeah. So your Kunar days, what year did you graduate? 2010. 2010. Yeah. Two years younger than me. I grew up in Kalgoorlie, full family. Oh really? Yeah, full six years of school. My entire high school life was in Kalgoorlie and that was brutal because back then and the school that I went to, the public school, it was just like everyone for themselves anyway. Now there are schools that I've taught at that have been actually pretty bad in terms of behavior management. My school from Kalgoorlie, from memory, there was a fair bit of bullying, there's a fair bit of nonsense, but I kind of grew out of it because I was naturally taller. Yeah. So they didn't really pick on me, but at the same time, there was a few groups of kids not trying to pick any specific group in particular, but yeah, they would like come in squads to pick on you and stuff like that. And yeah, but what about yourself in Konana? So what year do you think was the hardest for you at school? Probably around that I found year 11 really hard, academically, year 11 and 12, I found the hardest, but socially I think that year 60 and nine, like year 10 was my favorite year. Yeah, so. When everyone just chilled out, it was kind of like, hey, we don't get along that well, whatever, I'm gonna go hang out with this group, just get along with them. Whereas previous to that, it had been quite nasty. I've since found out, because some of these people I've kind of reconciled with and we're not best mates, but we talk and, you know, but other people just really casually dropped to me that in primary school, they had a We Hate Britney Club that I didn't know about. And I, being the hyperactive extrovert that I am, didn't know what this club was. And I was like, hey, can I join you in your club? And they're like, yeah. And then they had to make a We Hate Britney Club part two, because I joined the We Hate Britney Club, not knowing what it was. So I wasn't always well liked. I didn't like to get in trouble. We stayed out of trouble. I was scared of getting in trouble. I was quite anxious. So they all thought I was like, you know, the good kid, but really I just didn't want to get like, if I got in trouble, I would have an anxiety attack. So I just stayed out of trouble, but it created this complex of like, oh, you're just a teacher's pet when really just didn't want to get in trouble. So they had a, they assumed, they assumed Sabine just pointed to herself saying, that was her. Oh, really? It sucks, hey? And then you get awards for being so well behaved and it makes it worse. And you're like, I just don't want to get in trouble. I'm so happy to say. Yeah, I feel that. So, yeah, so you're getting in, you're wanting to avoid a problem with the school, but then this was causing a problem with the students. Yeah. And from, so that was the first bit. We went straight into exclusion. Yeah. That was the first bit of bullying. Was there anything else that came from that? Yeah, I think a lot of things. I mean, I wasn't an angel. I would say and do things in retaliation that weren't nice either. You know, I think you also go through quite a normal stage of trying to figure out who you are and how you're going to react to these things. But I always felt really terrible and I would have to go the next day and be like, I'm so sorry that I said that to you. I'm like, and it needed them to forgive me. Otherwise, I would just, that's that anxiety coming through and needing like being a people pleaser and, you know. But yeah, I mean, as I got older, I mean, I was, I was head girl. I mean, there were four of us to pick from. But they called it school captain because there were only four of us. And they're like, we don't really need a head boy and head girl. Was it like, was it like two boys, two girls? Yeah, yeah. So, but I mean, while everyone, all four of us and nice people, we didn't necessarily all get along. But that's really normal when you throw four strangers. Together and, you know, it's like, well, be friends because there's no one else. So I kind of just spent a lot of my time in year 11 and 12 in the library. They just kind of sat there at lunchtime and worked on assignments. And but, yeah, I think that, again, added to people not loving me because I became a school prefect and I became a school, you know, school captain and whatever. And that just added to that level of... This day and age, that's like glorified. Everyone loves the school captain and the prefect from what I see anyway. Yeah. And this day and age, they're more confident in being like, well, I've got the school captain see you or whatever. I've got all the confidence in doing what I do. You feel like the lack of students in your school was a part of it or? I think a huge part of it was also really... I mean, we didn't use the normal school curriculum for most of the time. So I changed into what we would call, you know, the standard school curriculum in year 10 was when they phased that in and put it through the school previous to that. We sat in these little cubicles, you know, in like American movies when you see them. We literally had these little cubicles. We weren't allowed to talk to our peers during class time. Otherwise, you got to marry it straight away through to marriage and detention. You do not communicate with your peers, which is a terrible system with all the research that we have about social learning and everything. So it was a homeschooling system and they tried to use it for school. So everybody, when you came into the school, you did a test in different subjects to say which level you're at. So you wouldn't come in and be a year seven and then do your seven level work. You would come in and do a test and they're like, okay, well, you're at this level and that was the books that you did and you worked through it yourself. And if you needed help, you had to put up a little flag and wait for the teacher to come to you. But imagine having a class of years because it was so small, years fours to sixes or eights in one room. All of them, even in the same year group, they're all doing different subjects at the same time. They're doing different levels of the subjects at the same time. So you've got to teach them individually. There was no standing up the front and so... It sounds like my class sometimes. But yeah, that is challenging. So, and it was also, I mean, it was called, I won't say what it was called just in case, but it was a Christian based education. So a lot of it was very, you know, the science subjects were quite, you know, non-believers believe in evolution, but we believe in this. So by the time you kind of hit your 10 and like for me, the school was just phasing it out. I've got friends who did it right through year 12. But for us, they were like, hmm, this system isn't working. Let's try and phase it out. So all of a sudden I'd gone from doing that from pre-primary to the end of year nine, thrown in year 10 into a classroom with my peers and it's like, okay, let's discuss ideas. And it's like, oh, what? So yeah, it was quite, so you throw all those different things together, I think, and then a tiny small group, a peer group. It's kind of setting up, I think, for a lot of conflict. What was the biggest takeaway that you got from middle school, year eight, to year nine, or even to year 10? To year 10, for me, I think I would summarize it, but have you seen The Greatest Showman? There's a quote from The Greatest Showman which summarizes it really well and it's just, you don't need everybody to love you, just a few good people. And I think that was probably my biggest thing that I'm still learning to this day, but in that, those few years in particular, was you don't need the whole school to love you. You just need a few good friends. You just need a few good people. And did you have that? I did. In year 10 and 11, I did. By year 12, not so much. How did you obtain it in year 10? How did you obtain that friendship? So talking about creating friends. Well, I was quite insecure and I thought that nobody liked me and I know that there were issues with that, but I kind of took 20 seconds of courage to approach a group that seemed like, we'd seen them around the school and they were all laughed a lot and got along really well, kind of just approached them. One day I said, is it okay if I sit with you? At lunch and they were like, yeah, of course. And then just slowly started sitting with them, having, you know, so talking to them and over time we became good friends and we ended up with a nice group and yeah. I know what happened. And then they left, they went to TAFE, some did apprenticeships, year 11 started and yeah, it kind of kept in contact with them, but it wasn't the same or having them at school. So this is a good question for the young kids because this can relate to when you go to high school for the first time. How did you adapt to not having friends all of a sudden again? So I was very active in clubs outside of school. So I had that as a constant thrill. Also I did dancing, I know some friends of mine did basketball. Whatever it was, I kind of had my constant even when it did all get thrown in the air in school in that first term. I still had that constant on Monday, Wednesday nights. I knew I was gonna go and see my dancing friends and then in school, I mean, it was hard and it was quite lonely, but I also spoke to some of my teachers and we had a high school chaplain and I sat down with them and I just told them so I'm feeling really lonely. My mates have gone, I don't know what to do and they were really good to just sit and have a vent and a laugh with but they also were really good at kind of saying, watching from the outside and going, oh, what about this person? Have you ever sort of kind of approaching them and you can hang out with just because you're a new year 11 doesn't mean you can't be mates with the year 10s. Is there anyone in that group? And I was kind of like, oh, okay. You know, I'll open my eyes a bit and it took a while, but it still kind of worked out in the end. Yeah, it always works out. Yeah. It's all learning. It's all just part of the learning process. I am, when I was in year 10, I had friends, but I started doing my own thing in a way where it was, I was, I turned extrovert quickly during high school and then I had friends in year eight and that's like, back then it's like, what are you doing with year eight? It's like two years younger than you. And now it's like, you know, Sabine, she's 25, she's four years younger than me. You know, you get older, you mature, it doesn't matter. But like, I would be like the anti-bullying kind of vigilante at year 10 because I just like, for some reason, I just had empathy for all the geeky kids, for all the kids with disabilities and for all the weird kids that were considered like just out of the norm. And I had, I don't know how I had that, but I think it's just, yeah, I couldn't pinpoint a moment where I was like, you know what, I really don't accept this. I remember one specific time in year 10, in the schoolyard, it was at lunchtime, this kid, he was, he had something, like he had a disability and he'd be walking around doing his own thing, like not bothering anyone and walking around like, you know, out of a way, you know, just like looking around with his bag and some kid went and like tackled it. Like just out of nowhere, tackled him. And I let him know about it. Like, I absolutely went to town. Like, I didn't beat him up or anything, but we, like, I had like a couple of friends and we like sorted him out. Like, we were like, this is not good, you know? We need more of that at school. And there's not enough of that. And like, exclusion and stuff, it happens so much at school. And, you know, like you said, you went to the library, you know, through your final years of school. Do you, what would you tell year 11, year 12, Brittany, now, if you spoke to her? What would you tell her? Chill out. Chill out? No, I think I would, I don't know, that's a good question. I think I'd let her know it's gonna work out all right and not just stress so much about grades, I think as well. Like, you know, I definitely think that the level of putting in that hard work, and you do, you try your best, but also understanding that ATAR isn't the end of the world. I'm not sure if that's what it's still called, but, you know, I was so anxious and stressed about getting a bad ATAR score that I just didn't retain information. And I probably closed myself off a lot to other people as well without realizing I was doing it because I was just stressed. And when I'm stressed, I shut down. So there could have been a huge level of people not feeling like I was approachable as a friend because I was just in my head all the time. So, yeah, and I do think, you know, I'm all for try your best and do what you can, but also understanding that, yeah, that test at the end of year 12, that score, it's not gonna make or break your life or your career. Like, there are so many other ways into doing what it is that you dream about doing. Yeah, it's not all dependent. Like, I got a terrible ATAR score. I was so stressed and back then, I don't know what it's like now, 10 years later. Because my subjects were largely the creative fields. It was media and English and drama, and they were considered easy subjects. So even though I got really high scores on those, got scaled really badly, and then in my weaker subjects like maths and science, I didn't get as high a score. So overall, my entire score came down, but I got accepted into Notre Dame, uni before they looked, they didn't look at my score. They, I got in based on my reports. And my reports said, you know, things like, even though my scores went the highest, Brittany always tries her best. She's a delight to having class. That's exactly what I'm trying to teach the kids at school. Yeah, well, I got in first round offer before the ATAR scores got announced. I got a letter from Notre Dame saying, based on your portfolio and your school reports, we'd love to offer you a place. And I was like, cool. And then I got my score and it was terrible. And I was like, I'm so glad they didn't look at this, because I wouldn't have gotten in. Yeah, there's just so many other ways. And even if, you know, I don't work in the field that I got my degree in, which I think is really common. I started one degree, didn't like it, moved over, did another one, worked in that field for two years. And then just thought, I'd got quite unwell. Thought I don't have the energy to do it. And I missed doing the creative field. And I've gone back to writing and acting and dancing and singing. You did try and different things to do, that's fine. Yeah, still figuring out what I want to do 10 years later. I didn't do what I grow up. I didn't even do ATAR. Oh man, I wish I hadn't. I started year 11 with chemistry, physics, GNT, which is Geometry Trinketometry, which is actually one of my favorite subjects now. But I failed it. It was hard for me. And then calculus. So like all the engineering things, because I wanted to do mining engineering. My mom said, you should do mining engineering. She didn't say, you will do mining engineering. She said, you should. She was like guiding me. She's like, this is good, don't calculate. And that's what happened. I got sucked in. But because my mom was more about my happiness and she was a fair person, and she didn't want me to live through her eyes, which is super thankful for, that was the difference. Because I see a lot of kids now that they're living to impress their parents, you know? But halfway through year 11, I bombed out. I was like, nah, that's it. I'm going back to general. And I mean, from memory, I still had to hustle. Like English, never my best subject. I don't write. I wish I could write. I've got so many things to write about. I wish I could count. I think that's the thing, like I find that girls, are more of the artsy side, and the boys are more of the kind of science-y math side. Like, don't quote me or anything, but that's like the unreached. A few of my girlfriends have, I do feel like that's stereotypical, as it sounds. It is stereotypical, yeah. Quite common, but then every now and then, someone full-on shocks you, like a few good friends of mine, they were the ones who did chemistry and all those subjects, and got like 96 on their ATAR online. At the end of the day though, at the end of the day, you've got to work to your strengths. Yeah, and that's it. I think find what you're passionate about. Like, oh, I grew up dancing, singing, like all I wanted to do was musical theatre. But I was so scared of getting rejected that I didn't try. Because I was like, if I don't get into the course that I really want to do, then my dream is completely dead. Whereas if I don't do it... So how did you overcome that? Well, I worked in another field for 10 years, got really sick, spent about two months in and out of hospital, two or three months in and out of hospital, and just went, you know what? Life, like, is just too fleeting. Like, where did the past 10 years go? I'm just gonna try. Like, if I fail, I fail, I'm gonna keep going. And I changed my idea of what success was. I think being younger, I was very like, the only way to be a successful singer was to be a famous singer. You know, the only way to be a successful actor was to be in like an Avengers film or something. Whereas now my idea of success is very different. Me, like, I'm always working harder to go to the next level, but to me doing something that you enjoy, that's being successful. Being kind to people in your field and helping them reach their goals, that's successful. So I'm really happy and I love my job because I get to help younger people realize their dreams and fight for their dreams while still fighting for mine and not letting that go. And, you know, I already think I've made it because I don't care about everybody knowing my name. I care about doing what I enjoy and then helping other people along the way. So yeah, I think that changed it a lot. So now if I get rejected, which happens all the time, you know, for auditions and you don't always get the role and it's not, you know, earth-shattering anymore. It's not a reflection of I'm not good enough. It's just, all right, that wasn't for me, that's fine. Another door will open and I'll just keep trying. And, you know, it happens and it's good fun. That's awesome. I'm gonna continue on that, but for now we're gonna take a break after these few messages. With your definition of success, that's been part of my kind of process at the moment, teaching kids what the definition of success is. I had one kid the other day message me on Instagram and said, you're so successful at all this and I wanna be successful too. And I said, what is your definition of success? And they said to, you know, set a goal and achieve it, that's success. And then I said to them, what happens then? What do you do after that? And they kind of didn't understand it, but what I'm trying to say is, once you succeed a goal, once you achieve a goal and you think you're successful, you're going to wanna do something else. Like you hit a thousand followers, a million followers and whatever, or maybe you get your dream job, are you successful? And that's the thing, like it's the difference between the two goals. So if you succeed at your goal and then you're gonna set another goal, what happens in between those two goals? Are you successful between those two goals? And if you don't hit that second goal sooner than you expected, you're not gonna feel like you're successful anymore. And if that's the case, then that means you're not really doing exactly what you love potentially. And you may lose interest because you're grinding it and you're having to do it, not wanting to do it. I found that with music for a long time, because I write a lot and felt like I was putting so many hours into writing and practicing and performing and sharing I just would look at the, instead of having it in products and going, wow, I'm really proud of that. I put so much hard work into that. I'm really happy with the end goal. It was like, oh, only a hundred people have listened to it. Oh, I worked so hard and nobody's gonna, nobody cares. So you're creating it now for yourself. And now I do it for myself and it's like getting to share that with other people that's just part of the joy of it. And if people watch it and they enjoy it, then awesome and if they don't like, oh, well, I'm gonna keep doing it for the rest of my life because I love it. I'd love to do it. And yeah, and I think- How has that progressed? Well, I've definitely found doors are opening a lot more without me, like I'm still looking and I still apply for things but I'm getting a lot of these cool opportunities that I would have loved 10 years ago. But I felt like I could never get them. And then all of a sudden when I shifted the focus, I found that the right people were coming to me anyway and going, hey, we noticed that you really good at this. And I had someone recently approached me, sent me a message online and say, hey, we're just a small film company. We need to cover this song for our film. We've heard you sing, heard your videos, would love it if you could record a copy for us. And I was like, yeah, of course. And all of a sudden, I think when you're putting out that positive energy and letting people know that you're open to it, still trying your best but just not trying to force it, and not being focused on getting views and getting the sales as much. Yeah, let it happen. Yeah, it does happen. And I think what you were saying about success, like what happens in between when you reach that first goal, that time in between, I think if you're not careful, you end up forgetting to actually live life. You spend your whole life trying to get things done. Like you spend, you're so busy doing life that you forget to actually live and enjoy it. And that's when your creativity gets stuck as well. When I'm trying to force a song, writing a song, that's when it's rubbish. That's the same with my photos, the same with my videos. I got sucked in for a little while. To get more engagement, because it was happening, it was happening, I was like unexpected. I was like, oh my God, and then I kept telling myself, don't get too ahead of yourself. And that voice in my head saved me because now it's on the kind of quiet and it's happening to other creators as well. And they're complaining about it. I can see all of them winging about it, like their engagement's going down and the algorithms are changing and stuff and it's like, ooh, what's going to happen? And now I'm just there like, what are you doing it for? Yeah. Yeah. What are you doing it for? What's your aim? What's your end goal? Like for me, what that says is their end goal is to get as many followers as they can, to get as many sponsors as they can to make as much money as they can. That's what I see. For me, it's like, let it happen. Yeah. If someone will approach me one day or maybe not, the best thing about it is I just enjoy making the videos and worst case, it's practice for 10 years time when the next platform comes out. Yeah. That's it. And you just have to remember that Epsom Flow, it's going to happen. It's part of it. Any singer, any artist that you look at creative, they go through quieter times. It's just how the industry goes and it's if you don't have a clear idea in your head, why you're there? And you don't have that genuine love and passion for what you're doing in whatever field, you're going to burn out. And yeah, I just, yeah, I think just keep hustling, keep like, if make sure you reassess why am I doing what I'm doing, and you're not going to love it every day. There are going to be days when you're like, oh my gosh, this is doing my head in. And that's all right. Take a break, talk to me, ask for help. I'm a huge mental health advocate. I think asking for help and normalizing therapy is a really huge thing happening at the moment. And I love it. I'm on the road. Yeah, I've seen a lot more therapy. I sometimes, I talk to Sabine every day, obviously, that she's stunning her psychology stuff and she's actually pretty good. And she's so helpful. And like, she doesn't give me like a, oh, that's okay, dear. It's all right. She'll be right. Straight out, straight out, like, that's my job. That's what I learned that, I mean, this may sound stereotypical, but the females, that's what they want to hear. Like, it's more like a vent. You're gonna be okay. A vent, don't solve the problem. Yeah. That was one of our biggest learnings last year because every time Sabine had something come up, I'd be like, okay, let's do this, let's do this, let's do this, and that wasn't the key. But in reversal, that's what I want. I want like a second opinion. I want someone to challenge my thoughts or expand on them. And that's what therapy does. So, did you like talk about therapy because I feel that teachers are therapists in a way, did you feel that you were supportive from the teachers at school? Like, in which way, me to them or them to me? Them to you. Yeah, I was really lucky. I worked in one particular school for three years. No, no, when you were a student. Oh, when I was a student, they tried to be. I think 10 years ago, we weren't talking about mental health as openly as we are now. I, things like I've got, I say caught out, it's not the right way to phrase it, but teachers caught on is a better way to say it, that I wasn't eating. They kind of were noticing that I was retreating a lot. And as a very, I'd always been a very loud talkative person and all of a sudden I wasn't talking to anyone, I was keeping to myself. And they definitely tried to help, but I don't think that they were quite equipped at the time. So things like, you know, we noticed that you're not eating. So they gave my folks a call, which was great. And they just let them know, hey, we've noticed you're not eating, but it kind of just stopped there. And it was kind of like, they said to me, they didn't say anything. It was like, oh, we're gonna go do some grocery shopping. What do you want for lunches? And we kind of did things like that. And a lot of it we realized now was because I had anxiety and I didn't know what anxiety was. I didn't know how to articulate it. It was killing my appetite, made me feel really sick, made me feel nauseous. So I didn't want to eat anything because I already felt really sick. And so I think they tried, but yeah, I just don't think that they were as well-equipped as what I hope we are now. And what do you hope they are now? Like, what are you expecting? Or what are you thinking teachers are now like? My experience in primary schools, because I worked as a chaplain in primary schools, is that there are a lot. Teachers are really clued on and they notice with their students. They spend a lot of time with them, you know? They notice when something shifts and a lot of the time they would come and talk to me and go, this is what we've noticed, what do you think? Me being the chaplain, not a psychologist or a counsellor would say, hey, I'm happy to come in and help out, but you know, do you think maybe we should consult, we'll keep an eye on it, we'll consult with the psych. And I had a really good working relationship with our school psych, so I could run things past here and go, they've told me this and they were able to kind of direct us a bit more. So, and there are a lot of cool programs now, like the drum beat program, there's Rhythm to Recovery, which I'm trained in and I love, which is like those bongo drums and you sit in the circle and it was just fun. I did a session with the teachers once and just went, all right, we're going to sit down and take out our frustration on the drums. There's so much more support that you have. It was so great. So many different activities they've been and inventing, which is cool. And we talk about mindfulness and a trick that I wish I'd known earlier that my counselor, because I still see a counselor, I think it's great. I think you don't have to have something going on in your life to go and talk to someone. But something she taught me for anxiety was that the first thing that goes out the window when you're feeling anxious or overwhelmed is your breathing. You start, a lot of people, I hold my breath without realizing I'm doing it. A lot of people, your heart rate speeds up and it actually starts to shut down the functioning in your brain that you reason with. So she was like, there's no point in sitting there when you're anxious trying to reason with yourself. The first thing you need to do is start to take a deep breath. She was like, and then start reasoning with yourself. It's such a simple little thing. And it's worked for you? Oh, it worked wonders. When I start to feel my heart race, I'm like, okay, deep breath in, get that under control and then start doing your logic. Sometimes things happen and it escalates quicker and you need something more and I kind of have a little action plan of about, you know. So what would your action plan be for a year nine? For a year nine depends on the person. Depends on what it is, but if you're feeling anxious or you're feeling stressed, overwhelmed, whatever it is, my go-to is always talk to an adult that you trust, whether it's your teacher, a parent, an older sibling, whoever it is, talk to an adult that you trust. Don't be afraid of asking for help. Like, it's okay. You're not a burden. What's the worst that can happen? Yeah, honestly, I think, you know, so many people, I know I did, I was like, I don't want people to stress about me. I don't want to burden anyone. People would rather know and be able to help you out than not know and you to suffer alone. So ask for help. Talk to an adult that you trust. Take deep breaths and that would be like my first three things, I think, yeah. Ask my two main things. Take deep breaths. Ask someone for help. Excellent. And they'll, they can help you come up. Because there's a lots of things that you can do. Like action plans look like lots of different things for whatever it is, whether it's like, you know, you need to go for a walk, you need to get some fresh air, drink some water, distract yourself. Sometimes I sit down, if I'm super stressed, deep breathing's not working, I need to relax. I make a cup of tea and I watch them stand up comedians and have a laugh. Do something you enjoy. Yeah. Yeah, relaxing, relaxing, not like over-stimulating. Yeah, come back to that, whatever the issue was or whether it's inside or whatever it is. Come back to it. Give yourself half an hour break. Come back. That's it. Okay, so we've come with bullying. What would be the main three things or however many things you would tell your nine student? How to deal with bullying? Ask for help. Ask for help. You're not being a narc or like, you know. What about, what about facing it head on without retaliating? How would you do that? It's an interesting question for yourself because I feel that at school you may have not done it like that. No, definitely not. How would you tell young you and I and Brittany to tackle it head on? I think believe in yourself. Believe that you're worth standing up for. Like you deserve to stand up for yourself. It's not bullying just to defend yourself. Now I'm not saying pull out, you know, stop throwing punches or anything and all start bullying back. But if someone comes up to you and, you know, whether it's something little of, oh my gosh, you look stupid or whatever it is, you know, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you standing there and going, well, that's not really very kind. Don't, please don't talk to me like that. I don't like it when you do that. Yeah. I don't like that. I stop it. I'm the same. I'm the same. I said that to when I was a kid and did that and that's what I'm preaching to the kids now. If you tackle it head on, don't, don't feel the fire. Yeah. Don't react and yeah, just say to them how you feel. Yeah. And then from there, it's their decision to, to like, oh, they feel bad about that. Yeah. I'm going to continue doing it. And if they do, that's when you ask for help. Yeah. I think as well, like sometimes it sounds silly, but sometimes people don't actually realise that it's hurting your feelings. Maybe it's like, whether it's, that's the way people have spoken to them. Some people are just really different. Like there's a fine line between being a true bully. Sometimes people are just, they're trying to reach out to you and they've done it poorly. And, you know, a lot of the time, I mean, I don't know the statistics, but I have heard that a lot of the time when people bully it's because it's happened to them and they don't want to become the victim again. But, you know, when you pull that back to, hey, I don't, I really don't like that. Please don't talk to me like that. Like that actually really hurts my feelings, makes me feel like rubbish. Sometimes it's like, it clicks for them. And I was like, oh yeah, I hated it too. Okay. You know, and like, yeah. As you get older, that hits home harder for people that are still doing it. And the thing is, in reality, they're still bullying as you get older. And then the workplace and the football field and all that stuff in the locker room, I mean. Yeah. I mean, taunting and excluding. And my friend, I had a conversation with him the other day, his girlfriend, sorry, his wife actually, she's getting bullied in the workplace because there was some change up in the office. There was a, and one of the employees thinks, one of the bosses thinks that she's sleeping with the employee and there's all this drama. And you know, she got made redundant. And you know, there's all this drama, like you have to, you know, you get, you get prepared for that at school, I feel. Because it is worse in the adult life. And that's where like, there's a stress, anxiety, and even suicide comes in because they're like, wow, it's even worse in the real world. I don't want to do that, that's scary. So how would you deal with that as going into adulthood? I definitely, I had it in one particular job where I was bullied quite, I didn't realise that it was bullying until it hit a real nasty spot. A male colleague was being quite disgusting, made me really uncomfortable, but I just thought I was being, I was always told growing up by everyone, oh, you're just too sensitive. So when I started to learn not to get up, like I would get upset, but I would internalise it. So I wouldn't tell anyone that I was upset because it was just like, oh, they're gonna tell me that I'm just being too sensitive until eventually it hit a point where I couldn't go to work anymore without having panic attacks. And I was crying and eventually I went to my boss and I was just like, look, this is what's been happening. This is what's been said. And some of what was being said through Facebook Messenger was getting sent these horrible messages. So I just kind of showed them to the boss and I was like, look, I'm not, I'm just not sure what to do anymore. And then he was just like, okay, we don't accept this behaviour here and kind of, you know, it got pulled into line, but I still had to work with that person and trying to keep that professional relationship after you know that the bosses sat them down and spoken to them about it. And they know it's you who's made the complaint. That's where you just gotta keep your head up. Yeah. Just be like, hey. That was, yeah, very difficult, but I did. And I stuck it out and I actually left that job because I got offered a job that I really wanted. So it was really nice to kind of go on to that and move on after. But yeah, it was horrible. I think you just know who your good friends are, know who you can trust and tell people if you're ever in doubt, if someone's making you uncomfortable, trust your gut. It's okay to admit that you're feeling uncomfortable and sometimes that person just again, doesn't realise what they're doing. Like once you point it out, most of the time, people are really quite horrified that they've made you feel that way. Or, you know, they feel quite embarrassed as well as I'm, you know, and most of the time people, it's not intentional, but it doesn't mean that the behaviour doesn't need to be corrected. You know, just going, oh, they didn't mean it that way all the time. Well, then that behaviour is just gonna keep happening. Sometimes it needs to be confronted. Is it? Absolutely. Yeah. Okay, so going on with that, so wanting it back to the school now, because this is gonna be a valuable piece of media for anyone really. What would your three things be for a middle school kid to go forward with, to take away from this? Ask for help. Be number one. Oh, gosh. Be kind to yourself. And, you know, if you make mistakes or you say something and you've upset someone, or you realise you've been unintentionally been in the bully, like try your best to do better, but forgive yourself as well. Like, don't beat yourself up over it. It's all about trying. And you're still learning as well. Yeah, you're still, like, you're all still learning that's what life is, you know? Yeah. And, or the third thing would be, I don't know. Just be a good person. Just be, yeah, work hard and be kind. Yeah. Now, there's one thing I do at the end of everything, every time I do this, is we play the 2000 questions game. Oh. So you have to give me a number between one and 2000. Okay. I'm gonna ask you that question. All right. 1,802. Why did you choose that number? I don't know. Just picked random numbers. Okay. What lesson to this day have you still not learned? Oh. Good timing. Geez. This is one, like, kind of calling yourself out. Yeah. For me, it's procrastination. I'm still, still haven't learned how to deal with it properly. I know how to, like, actually doing it sometimes. See, I think just on that, I've learned, because I've been, I'm always, I've been terrible for procrastination, but I realized now is because I procrastinate when I'm stressed. So when I start to procrastinate, it's like my emotional defense mechanism. It's like, well, that's stressing me out, so I'm not gonna deal with it. Just gonna ignore it. So I've learned to, like, dial back, okay, why am I procrastinating? Have I taken on too much? Let's do it one task at a time. But I don't know, everyone does it for different reasons. Geez, one lesson that I'm still trying to learn. I'm still trying to teach myself that it's okay to make mistakes, I think. I'm a perfectionist in the way of how other people see me and, like, emotionally. You know, if someone tells me I've hurt their feelings and sometimes, like, I'm getting a lot better at it, but I still am so devastated by it because I want to treat everyone perfectly all the time, which I'm human, I can't. So I think learning to be kind to myself in those moments. You shouldn't be out to impress everybody. Yeah, because you're not going to, and it's, yeah. So I think... And that comes back to school, like what you said at the very start. You know, you're not there to please everybody. You're not going to please everybody, and I guess, yeah, that's the life lesson. And I'm dealing with that too. I'm still trying to, you know, make sure that I'm good with everybody, and even with friends that I haven't spoken to in a while or that haven't spoken to me, I get stressed that they're going to, and they have, they come out and say, hey, it would be nice to hear from you every now and then, and I'm like, it's a two-way street. Yeah, I've had that. And, but the real friends are the ones that, you know, two to three months, they know that you're going to go quiet or they come back and then they're like, oh, hey man, you're doing well. You're doing well, I hope everything's great. Yeah. And they're not going to cause up a stink about it, so. I've definitely learned that, learning that, and it's sometimes it's okay to let those friendships go. Yeah. It may not be forever either. Yeah, sometimes you just, your house has to come first and it's not selfish. It's just a necessity. If you can't stay healthy yourself, you can't please anyone else after that. Yeah. Okay, one more thing from you. Yeah. Before we go, one piece of advice to anyone about anything, what would it be? You don't make friends with Salon. You don't make friends with Salon. No, I just, I think my really big thing, and I've said it so many times, but no matter who you are, where you are, what age you are, you know, it's okay to ask for help. Like it's actually really important to ask for help. And I think like opening up about your struggles, whether it's a situational thing happening with you, whether it's mental health, physical health, whatever it is, like, ask for help. Let people want to help you. They love you, they want to help you. And you, like, taking time out to get better is okay. Like I didn't want, I had to leave my job last year. I ended up in hospital because I worked for so many years, well for many reasons, but I think a large part of it was when I was so emotionally unwell, still trying to force myself to be a youth worker and felt like I had to look after everyone else and learning that it was actually okay to go, hey, I'm really not doing well. And then I had to leave my jobs. I spent too much in hospital and like I wish I kind of learned that earlier because I could have, I think, prevented that level of sickness. But at the same time, I've learned so much from that and I'm learning, you know, in order to be who I want to be, I've got to look after holistically every part of me. It's not just about eating well or exercising. It's also how am I doing emotionally? How am I doing mentally? Am I sleeping well? Am I, you know, am I feeling run down all the time? All those different things. Yeah, I think. Thank you very much for coming in. Thanks for having me. Good chat. Good chat. See you later. Bye.