 five roles of a biblical husband if you are a woman this is something to write down to begin to pray for a husband if you are dating a guy and he doesn't fit maybe he's four or five that's good but if he's like zero not one of them fits that area I'm giving you a good opportunity to break up today and find yourself a good man if you are here today and you are married a lot of you are gonna recognize that that I am pretty much describing your husband because he's the man and a man of God in your life and this will be a good opportunity to hug him kiss him today and say man I'm so proud of you and if your husband is not living up to these things you're so lucky you brought him today I'm gonna hit him hard with the truth of course and love a little bit of love mostly truth amen marriage is a workshop where husband works and wife shops a good wife always forgives her husband when she is wrong a good wife always forgives her husband when she is wrong my husband said he needed more space so I locked him outside my husband said I feed him like he is God every meal is a burnt offering marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband one day my wife's credit card was stolen what a relief what is what it was to find out that the thief spends less than my wife my husband forgot my birthday and our anniversary but I don't feel that bad on the contrary give me a guilty husband any day some of my best outfits come from his guilt wives take note my wife and I have a perfect understanding I don't try to run her life and I don't try to run mine there was once a guy who was crying over a tombstone at the cemetery he was just wailing why did you have to die why did you have to die why did you have to die another man was there visiting another lost relative and he said to the man sir I am so sorry was this your wife the months the man said no it's my wife's first husband man bragged about his marriage and said that me and my wife never go to sleep angry but we haven't slept for the last three weeks I want us to open the Bible we're gonna look at five roles that every husband biblical husband out to adhere to number one is he is a leader first Corinthians chapter 11 verse 4 says but I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ and the head of woman is men and the head of Christ is God somebody say leader leader is not Lord leader is not a dominating abusive bullying aggressive angry diminishing men leader according to the Bible Jesus exemplified what leadership looks like it's a servant leadership leadership means five fourth things number one leader means he is proactive the Bible says a husband leaves a mind a man leaves his mother and his father and he joins to his wife that means men initiates things men is proactive we have a pandemic today in men where men became passive and they don't initiate where girlfriends have to beg men to make up their mind to propose or not men are to rise up and be proactive that means if you are single men and you see a lady you come up to her and you ask her name you ask her for her number like my good friend in here who got married and has a child and wonderful marriage was at the gas station dressed in the suit and saw a girl filling her car with gas came up to her and says my name is so-and-so what is your name can I get your phone number when are you available on the date she says excuse me are you a Mormon or Jehovah Witness because he was dressed in a in the suit he's like no I'm not a Mormon not Jehovah Witness I am a man of God what is your name what is your phone number can I take you out for coffee you look like a fine young lady goes for a coffee with her brains at the church she gets saved she gets baptized they get married I facilitated their wedding they have a child and love God and since they serve at the local church men be proactive step out and initiate step out and ask what if I get rejected take it like a man try again be proactive men are passive when God came to a man he says Adam where are you he didn't ask that to a woman he asked that to a man why because God expects men to carry the responsibility and one of the leadership responsibilities is you have to be intentional and you have to initiate things the second role of a leader is he has to pursue God men cannot be a good leader if he's first not a good follower of the Holy Spirit you cannot lead your home if you are not led by the Lord that means that every man's job is to be a disciple of Jesus Christ your manual is the Bible not how your dad treated your mom not how your grandpa treated your grandma but how the Bible describes for you to treat your wife and to treat your children you can only be a good leader if you are a good follower of God's Word and every woman and the man said the third quality of a leader is he is a pastor in the home a pastor in the home what does this mean to be a pastor in the home you're a priest in the home that for first few things it means is you bring your family to church on Sunday oh but they have games no they don't you're the pastor you decide what they have no but my kids are in this and that one number one most of your kids are not gonna play professional sports for the rest of their life and so you can choose to bring your family to church or not you don't ask your kids that are 10 and 12 years of age what do you want to do on Sunday you tell them what they need to do on Sunday why because you are the pastor in the home I don't always come up and say hey guys what do you want me to preach about on Sunday I go to God and I ask for that and that bring God's Word a pastor in the home means you lead you don't drive but you lead your family to church and another thing that a pastor has to do in the home is he has to live out Christian faith in front of his kids if a dad only or a husband brings the family to church but he never seen with an open Bible at home but always with the remote control and with another remote control playing a video game that husband will not have respect in the eyes of his wife and children because he's a fake pastor real pastor is not somebody who only brings the family to church but brings faith to the family brings church to the family that means some kind of a family devotions whether it's once a week whether it's once a day before kids go to sleep where you pray for them and if your children is being attacked they have a pastor the pastor is you you pray for your child before you call the pastor before you call your life group leaders call on your shepherd Jesus Christ to come and intervene in the life of your child come on somebody let's give the Lord a clap offering everyone in the gym and in the sanctuary the fourth quality of a leader is a protector God fashioned men with bigger muscle mass most men majority of men are physically built stronger their bone density is different than female bone density and the reason why God created men to be physically more stronger well so they can hunt so they can provide but also so that they can protect their family God didn't give you muscle so that you can raise your hand against your wife God gave you muscle so that you can protect your wife you can protect your children and so that you're not a bully but a builder you're not a lord but you are a leader Jesus doesn't abuse his church nor should men abuse their wives there is no room for dominating ruling controlling suppressing and undermining a daughter of God in a godly marriage being the head doesn't make you a control freak does not give you permission to allow Jezebel spirit to run through you where you oppress dominate and control it's as a servant leader you serve your spouse you protect your family raising your voice in marriage is not acceptable usually men raise their voice because they lost already an argument it's better to improve your argument than to raise your voice it's better to improve what you have to say instead of to raise your hand God doesn't want us to raise our hands to hit our spouse but to tenderly touch our spouse and if you are here today and you are an abusive man as a wife you not only obligated by the law to report your husband to the to the authorities but your husband needs to be delivered and if you are here and you are a husband and you abuse your wife physically you abuse her sexually you force yourself on her and you cause this pain and you call yourself a man that you have the permission you have no permission from Jesus that came from your demons and you need to repent God didn't call you to be the kind of man who does those kind of things number two not only a husband is a leader number two a husband is a laborer somebody shout laborer Genesis chapter 2 verse 15 it says the Lord God took the man and put him on the couch and asked him to play video games the Lord God let me put that from the actual bible put men in the garden of Eden to tend and to keep it that means that God created a man this was before the fall and God ordained five excuse me six-day work week five-day work week is not biblical i'm not saying it's bad it's not bad but it's not biblical biblical work week is six days you should work and one day you should rest God did not create you to vacation on the earth He created you to create He created you to make things even when you go to heaven the idea that we will float in heaven and play harp and sing 24 seven that's not what we're gonna do we're gonna rule we're gonna manage and we're going to work we're gonna do stuff God is not just idle God Jesus says my father is working and I am working your God is a working God and He created us working human beings He put men in the garden and asked the man to work and then we know that the work was cursed and we still have to work in the New Testament Paul writes to men and he says to 1 Timothy 5 8 he says if anyone does not provide for his own and especially for those of his household he has denied the faith and is worse than a non-believer in 1950s in the United States one out of 50 men didn't want to work today it's one out of nine from the working age of 25 to 54 one out of nine men seven million men who are able to work in the United States not on disability not of some crisis where they need to take care of their wife or the children and they can temporarily not work we're talking about able working bodies seven million of them who are sitting on welfare and not working and waiting for somebody to provide for them they're not men they're grown-up boys a boy is when your mama provides for you a man is when you provide for yourself a grown-up man is when you provide for yourself for your woman and for your children and we have a pandemic today of lazy men men who don't want to work some who over spiritualize things and say God called me to ministry i am called to reach the nations that's completely fine but remember your savior jesus christ came to die and he spent at least 20 years of manual labor from about 10 years of age that's when most of the jewish boys either continue to continue their education or they took up the trade of their dad from 10 years to 20 to 30 years 20 years of manual labor did he have a world to save you bet did he have people to heal you bet jesus spent most of his adult life working for men who's used today as an excuse say i don't need to work i'm god just called me to intercession god just called me to preach the gospel yes he did but we're all full-time christians and many of us are in the full-time ministry and we still have a job i want to encourage you today to stop being disobedient to god's word and saying i don't need to work why because i want god to provide for me because i'm called to ministry if you have a family that's your ministry if you have a wife and you have children you need to provide for them now is there no room where some people are called to live by faith yes there are some men i know who don't have a physical job but they just minister 24-7 and god provides for them but majority we have a clear instruction from the scripture we're called to provide for our families we don't want our kids to go hungry because we're just preaching the gospel we're called as men to labor now the other side of men are not spiritual guys these are dreamy guys these are guys who have more dreams than martin luther king and they sit and they do not want to work but this is what they do i have a business idea and this will require 30 000 investment they push their wife to work two jobs to finance their idea that is dumb from the beginning well that idea will never take off i mean any businessman will look at that and says that's not going to take off but they have this little dream and because they never had a dad in their life who can spank them but they got over-mothered over-mothered and smooched with love you can do it you can do it you can you can do anything you put your mind to you can be anything who you want to be in the world that's a lie you cannot be anything you cannot be a bird you cannot be a basketball player and some of us are not going to be presidents because we were not born in this country so stop with this nonsense you can be anything you cannot be anything period and when we stop lying to our kids and we start building their character and their work ethic then they'll become something not anything in this world so these men what happens is that now they found a woman who actually is working and they're sitting on the couch believing hey could you invest into our dream we will make a millions in other words your money will make millions and my ideas will make millions i've met these poor women who invest into the dreams of these broke guys that they should have threw him out of their apartment a long time ago and say home slides go get a job i'm not fine i'm not i'm not bank of america i'm not financing your dreams you're 35 years of age you should have had a job and finance finance your own dreams it's one thing you have to know about business businesses do not work if you don't you can't sit on the couch and dream your business into working you have to work you have to go and make sales you have to go and cut things you have to go and actually work but sitting on the couch and waiting for your boo to sponsor your ideas is not what god called men to do should men have a side hustle you bet they should should you if you want to have a business of course you should start that business but dropping providing for your family and putting your wife through two jobs while you're experimenting your ideas that don't work is not biblical definition you want to start your high hustle perfect you work a full-time job and then you on the weekends on your days off instead of scrolling through tiktok and watching netflix playing video games or playing golf which doesn't pay by the way you go and you learn your side hustle you want to be a photographer instead of you know maybe laying bricks awesome you lay bricks and then when you have a free time you go take the photography and you quit your full-time job only when your side hustle supplements the income that your full-time job provided do not strain your family do not abandon your role as a provider and as a laborer it's not pleasing to god it makes you worse than an unbeliever and the bible says that it's not something god expects of men dreams don't pay for bills work does and the bible clearly states in proverbs in all labor there is profit but idle chatter leads only to poverty proverbs 1423 all labor there is profit there is no profit in video games there is no profit in just dreaming there's profit in work but you know i've been waiting for 10 months already jobs that are available don't match my personality type are you kidding me they match your role labor well the jobs that are available i have a master's degree well if right now nobody's hiring in that field and you got two mouths to feed flipping burgers sounds like a good plan but i was a manager what you want me to go and submit to somebody the bible says in all labor there is profit all labor waiting for years to get a job because you're too proud too entitled and been too mothered is not good we need to labor because in all labor there is profit and in talking leads to poverty you want to be a prosperous man learn to work and as you work one day you'll get a better job one day you'll run your own company and you'll deal with knuckleheads who will only want a paycheck come in early leave leave like come in late and then leave early who will be entitled and and literally you put any pressure this is the problem with young men today this is not a problem with my father's generation this is a problem with my generation is they're so overwhelmed with work they're so they're their fingers get dirty their their mental health is not stable because they finally worked a full eight hour job now they need to see a two therapist one for their mental health and one for their daddy issues men we're better than that we're stronger than that disconnect from tiktok stop watching cnn read the bible and work and when you work a lot of your mental health problems when you work do a good job you come back home you eat a good meal you have a great relationship with your wife and a lot of your other stuff will be taken care of the bible says joseph went into the house to work and poor the first wife was tempting him he had no time for her but when david came out of his sleep where he slept probably all day on the balcony and he saw a naked basher but he couldn't resist her men who are working men who are applying themselves to their business are men who can more likely i feel overcome temptation but if all you're doing is scrolling all you're doing is sitting on the couch all you're doing is just making the welfare to care of you and the government to care of you god did not create the government to provide for you you're supposed to provide for your family now if you're on disability that's a different story if you have a you know maybe you're a veteran but we're not talking about we're talking about able working men now some men will object and they say well unemployment pays better find me a scripture in the bible what the bible called you to be unemployment now for a season maybe one month or two months but not three years it doesn't matter if unemployment pays better god calls you to work god calls you to apply yourself and to put hard work in so i want to challenge all the young men all the boys to grow up and become men men to become mature grown men by providing for their family amen i see i feel like all the mothers and all the wives like finally my boy can grow up now boy get out out of my house wives that's what you need to do you come need to come to your house say to the workplace because you gotta drive him out somewhere to work to the fields amen number three every man is called to be loyal loyal so number one is he's a leader every husband is called to be a leader number two is called to be a lawyer laborer number three is he's called to be loyal matthew five twenty eight this is i say to you whoever looks at a woman to lust after her has already committed adultery with her in his heart the general social survey says that 20 percent of men in marriage cheat and men are 54 more percent to cheat than women now this is again general statistic where is happening today in our culture where it has become the statistic where men cheat where men are not loyal and i wish that would only apply to men that are not christian but a lot of us who came we carried the generational cycle from the fathers and the grandfathers that this generational cycle needs to be broken that you are not going to be a cheater you are going to be loyal few things i want to highlight concerning loyalty number one if you want to be loyal as a man of god you have to stop allowing flirtation to happen to you men cannot walk in purity if they don't stop tolerating flirting by the women the god the devil sends to assassinate your marriage this is not in any way disrespectful to women because men as guilty as women are where men many times are guilty is intolerating flirtation flirtation at work online keeping dating profiles active DMing sliding into DMs when you are married continuing texting with somebody that you have no business texting with and the devil is out to destroy your marriage and how he's going to destroy your marriage is everything starts with flirtation secondly is we have to understand that the grass is not greener on the other side grass is greener where you water it if you don't water your own marriage you're responsible for why everything is dry and parched not your spouse we have to water our own marriage a lot of times what happens is when the children come up the wife she no longer laughs at your jokes you're no longer funny she doesn't call you handsome you know because she's busy with kids and so what happens you know men with time they begin to excel in their careers or in their jobs and you get this chica in the office or in the gym or somewhere else where you begin to connect who laughs at your stupid not funny jokes who honors you who acknowledges you and this chica doesn't have bad breath she's always dressed up and looking nice because she doesn't pay the bills right now with you she simply takes care of her own life and and what begins to happen is the man begins to feel like man this is a perfect woman i should have married her but you must understand the principle of 80-20 that your wife as perfect as she is she will only meet 80% of all your needs most perfect wife will only meet 80% so all of you ladies who think you're 100 you're not only 80 that's just that's just the rule because no woman could ever be that that person that's why the rest of the 20 is enough space for the devil to torment you tempt you or for god to transform you but what happens is the 20 that your wife will not meet your needs in some area especially when children come up especially when life just kind of gets maintained there will be somebody the devil will bring into your life who will fill in the 20 percent your spouse is missing and the devil will paint this beautiful hollywood fantasy that you should leave the 80 percent you have for the 20 percent you want and men who make those changes and they leave their family they leave their wives they leave their church they leave god and they say i'm gonna chase this fantasy i'm gonna tell you that that chica you think is perfect is not perfect because no perfect woman will date a married man and if you're a lady here and you have an affair with a married man and you think man i'm so good you're immoral lustful and you're gonna go to hell if you don't repent and same thing if you're a man if you believe into that lie and to that fantasy that i'm missing out i should have married that person that devil is a liar he's baiting you he wants to assassinate you he wants to destroy your marriage he wants to destroy your integrity as a man and statistics says that those relationships build on that have a higher chance of infidelity in the next relationship you're destroying your moral code and your moral foundation you can have a new marriage with the same spouse if you change your attitude if you change how you treat your spouse i want to challenge you today that chica that you think oh she's so fine and stuff she also her breath stinks in the morning as well she also looks like crazy when she doesn't take a shower and her hair stinks like it is a zombie she's just like the person that you are married with except the person you're married with you have a history with you have a trust with you have a built life with and it's important to water the garden that god has put you in instead of fantasizing about somebody's green lawn come on somebody reject that lie that the grass is greener on the other side the grass is greener where you water it amen another thing that we must do to stay loyal in our marriages and that is we should not hang out with the opposite sex alone now even if you are in management and you're like well she works for me we need to need to go over things you can go over things in the public setting where other people are present the moment you begin to spend time alone with the opposite sex when you are a married man or a married woman you're stepping on the territory that is dangerous another thing that we must be careful and that is opening our personal life to someone who is of opposite sex that we're not married to the moment you come up to a person let's say you're a man and you come up to a lady sometimes that happens at work me and my wife are going through things if you say stuff like that to a lady okay you are actually in inviting her to be intimate with her emotionally because you're inviting somebody into the sacredness of your life and you should not do that with the opposite sex and usually she will say oh tell me about it and of course she listens to you she honors you and if God says if the devil sends a Jezebel she'll pray with you and say let's pray about it let's agree with it and next thing you know you're meeting with this intercessor praying for your marriage and you fall in love with this intercessor who is not an intercessor who can be literally sent as an assassin from the enemy oh but she cares she prays and intercedes if you truly want to see your marriage restored go to a guy go to a dude and say hey pray with me man we're going through stuff and maybe he will say yeah we're going through stuff as well but let's let's hold each other accountable that will strengthen your marriage but go into a female and ladies when you're struggling with marriage i understand sometimes we need to go to counseling and everything but when you start going to another man and you say man he's mistreating me that is not happening could you pray with me and then that man lets you cry on his shoulder oh man i feel so hurt i feel so accepted i feel so cared for and then you keep going for that affirmation next thing that happens is you're developing an emotional intimacy it starts slowly but then it leads to other intimacies and that's what it starts this doesn't mean that we're constantly blocking ourselves from the opposite sex but your personal life should not be exposed to someone you don't want to have a bond with and when you're struggling in your marriage you don't want to make bonds with other people you want to protect your own bond by going to go to a man if you are a husband and have somebody hold your accountable have somebody pray for you go together with your wife to another couple and let them pray with you and hold your accountable amen but the best way to prevent an emotional affair and to prevent a physical affair is to keep romance and keep fire in your own fireplace keep your marriage healthy that is the best protection against infidelity number four husband is a learner so husband is a leader husband is a laborer husband is loyal number four husband is a learner for spirit chapter three verse seven it says husbands likewise dwell with them meaning your wife with understanding giving honor to the wife as the weaker vessel and as being heirs together of the grace of life that your prayers may not be hindered this verse is loaded with revelation from men let's start with the last one so your prayers will not be hindered that means if we don't fulfill the petitions of our wives God says it could hinder our prayers from being answered if your wife is always being ignored God says I will ignore you ignore your prayer I will ignore your prayer as a man I want you to also see there it says that we husbands and wives are coheirs together we are partners together in the grace of life I want you to also to see it says that the wife is the weaker vessel it does not say the wife is the weak vessel if we would say the wife is the weak vessel it would mean the man is the strong vessel weaker means men is weak and wife is weaker which means all the men are weak vessels wife is weaker now weaker in which regard most of the theologians agree it deals with the physical build of a woman that when it comes to carrying heavy physical weight she is weaker than her husband now there's some women here that cannot be said about you because the amount that you lift in the gym it makes us husbands pray for mercy because you're very strong physically but generally speaking men are more physical I like what Dr. Tony Evans said a word weaker is not weaker in the sense of less than but the word weaker has to do with the way you handle highly valued material in other words like fine china you don't treat fine china like paper plates because it breaks easily but it breaks easily and the reason you handle it carefully is because of how much you value it it's the value issue and the man has to value his wife like fine china now the part that I want to touch on is husbands learn your wives those of you in the gym and on youtube I want you to listen very carefully to dwell with your wife with understanding means you have to figure your wife out in the layman terms this is what I think it means for us as men if you know what she likes do it if you know what she hates don't do it very simple and every man understood it a guy was in california and was on the beach found this glass and opened this glass bottle and the genie came out and said that what would you want me to do for you i'll grant you one wish and he said i'm afraid of flying i do not like airplanes but i always wanted to spend a vacation in hawaii could you build a bridge from california to hawaii and genie replied they said are you crazy you know how much concrete that's going to take do you know how much labor and money that's gonna take do you know that's not possible choose something more reasonable he says okay not as important as building a highway to hawaii but i always have a hard time with my wife she says i don't understand her can you help me to understand women and the genie replied the highway that you wanted was it two lanes you wanted or four when it comes to understanding women a lot of men they struggle with that you know scientists were trying to figure out how to name a computer which gender to give to computer a he or a she and so all the female female scientists they said a computer should be called a he because like husbands in order to get their attention you have to turn them on they're supposed to solve the problem they usually are the problem as soon as you commit to one if you were awaited a little bit longer you have gotten a better model and all the men came along and they said no we should call computer she the reason being is that no one but their creator can understand them the smallest mistake is stored for a long term memory and after buying it you spend more money on all the accessories i want you to understand husbands something about wives one doctor dr roger sherry in 1981 did a study and found out that from males from 16 to 26 they found this in the brain where two chemicals are released to slow the development of the right size of male's brain so it actually confirms the suspicion a lot of women had that men have brain damage two chemicals are released to slow down the development of the right size of male's brain ages from 16 to 26 that's why many times males and females even in their brain they're slightly wired differently males are more logical female are a little bit more emotionally connected women they love process men they love goal women they love romance men they love sex when it comes to processing things women they love sensitivity and men love space when it comes to stress when a woman is stressed out she gets very much involved and she gets overwhelmed when a man is stressed out he becomes focused and quiet and withdrawn which drives his wife crazy she thinks why could you speak and he just doesn't want to speak at all he wants to go outside and hit something he wants to go in the neighborhood and walk like a maniac and the wife is chasing him talk to me talk to me and she thinks that he is not wanting to talk to her but it's in reality the way he is built so the bible doesn't tell wives to live with husbands with understanding the bible says husbands dwelled with your wives with understanding that means that we as husbands have a better greater responsibility to understand our wives and when we feel we're drawn to either come to them and say hey could you give me 30 minutes start the clock i'm going to walk around the neighborhood and wander like a lost man but i will come back to you after 30 minutes and i will come back a better man than than the one that left that the husbands begin to come down to their wives to their level and to meet them at their point and begin to understand and live with them with understanding and all the wives said and all the husbands said i will do it and the last thing is a husband is a lover not only he's a leader not only he is a laborer not only he's called to be loyal not only he's called to be a student where his wife is his professor constantly updating him about the woman's world woman's language and so that the husband can live with her with understanding give her her proper honor because pewter said when you live with dwell with understanding giving her honor that means we honor our wives but the last one is that we love our wives Colossians 319 husbands love your wives and do not be bitter toward them every husband can show love to his wife in five ways the first one is by her flowers or gifts or both by her flowers something is beautiful about love when you give things the bible says husbands love your wives as christ loved the church and gave for god so loved that he gave any love that does not involve giving is not biblical love now this again doesn't have to be only flowers but girls like flowers and therefore you can give flowers you can give gifts you can give something it's the thought that matters now i want to share something about husbands and gifts i believe that most husbands should never buy gifts to their wives but should give them cash don't buy clothing that involves sizes the chances are one in seven thousand that you will not get her size right and your wife will be offended the other six thousand nine hundred ninety nine times do i look like i'm size six she will say too small of a size doesn't cut either i haven't worn size eight in 20 years and either way you lose so that sometimes cash gift is one of the best contribution to loving your wife the reason why you shouldn't buy gifts is don't buy anything that involves weight loss or self-improvement she'll perceive six month membership to a diet center as a suggestion that she's fat and you don't like her anymore don't buy her jewelry the jewelry she wants you can't afford and the jewelry you can afford she does not want she just won't tell you that so i am here to tell you that so let her buy the jewelry just give her the credit card that has a really high limit you'll be okay number two is spend time with your wife when i say spend time with your wife i don't mean while both of you are watching a movie that's not spending a time we went on a date which simply usually what that involves we watched a movie hour and a half you're not spending time that's how a man feels that a woman spends time with him when they do something when when me and my wife wash cars clean the yard or clean the house for three hours and we don't say a word after that i feel so close to her my wife doesn't share exactly the same feelings she feels worn out and discouraged so the way wives feel connected to their husbands is not by doing a shared activity but wives listen if you want your husband to be more connected to you sometimes do a shared activity with him but a wife needs uninterrupted quality time where a husband asks the following questions how was your day and stops doesn't describe his golfing with the buddies does not describe his video score video game score does not describe his finance is nothing just how was your day and then the wife usually say it was fine could you unpack that thought for me hmm yeah and uh i just talked to my friends how did that make you feel well i really felt like she didn't care really why did that make you feel like that and just pretty much like a like a box of napkins just pretty much keep on asking as long as the words are unpacked the thought how did you feel can you go a little bit deeper give me i'm not fully understanding you could you repeat that again and just and then about after 10 minutes she feels that everything all the burdens are off she got delivered she got the stress is out she feels lighter she says we have never been closer like we are with you right now i you actually understand me you're like i heard you but i'm not sure i understood everything but you actually love me thank you for listening thank you for being there and so sometimes 10 or 15 minutes of that without having a phone on the back where you're texting and responding to your buddies but actually engaging in the conversation it is the hardest thing the man will do it is the most powerful thing the wife needs a man to do for her and all the wife said number three do house chores meaning do something for her even if her love language is not acts of service but if you serve your spouse sometimes it's the some simple things like taking the garbage out or or washing the dishes things that are quote unquote not your duties in the house when you step in as a husband and you begin to serve in the house as well something happens with your marriage it makes the wife feel more love now understand something as husbands we don't understand and that is this the difference between feeling loved and being loved we know in our heart we love our wife if we wouldn't we wouldn't be with them we're like the fact i'm with you is a sign that you need i love you and the second reason when we got married i told you i love you if i would have changed my mind i would have notified you but i didn't notify you that hasn't changed i'm with you i love you but the woman does not know that she is loved unless she feels that she is loved and unfortunately those feelings evaporate every 24 hours so every new 24 hours as the bible says his mercies are new so it has to be your reminder i love you because women have a little amnesia when it comes to feeling loved it's also brain thing i don't have a study to confirm that but i just suspect it's something has to do with the brain and so we as husband have to understand that it's constantly feeling that love tank with reminding them that they are loved one of the ways that they feel loved is when they are also served in jesus name everybody said number four hold her hand in the public and open the door in front of open the door in the car now i need to practice this one more one of my wife's love languages is non-sexual physical touch and when we were doing the test five love languages i was so excited because i i thought that sex and then when i found out that non-sexual physical touch i was like oh shoot this is not good because i'm not going to be intentionally focused on that and i want to encourage us something happens when you physically hold the hand of your spouse all the teenagers want to do that when they are dating and we need to date if there will be more dating if rick warren said this he says if there will be more courting in our marriages less of our marriages will be in courts date your your mate and few things hold the hand in public and husbands there's also a trick to that when you do that in the mall higher chances she won't go to the store she'll stay with you because she doesn't want to lose you she loves that connection opening the doors in the car i know that in our culture today that is no longer the priority but we want to raise godly men and we want to raise gentlemen where you open the door now typically if you see in the parking lessons a man opening the door to in the car to his wife two things you can know pretty much 90 he either has a new car or a new wife so i want us to be those men who treat our marriage as though it's a new marriage every year why with the same spouse because we choose to show affection love and also show public affection for our spouses a lot of men publicly they wouldn't kiss their wife they wouldn't hug their wife they're afraid oh the kids say it's gross you want your kids to say gross we're not talking about sex okay we're not talking about anything else we're talking about public affection where a husband shows affection to his wife publicly and when the husband shows his affection to his wife by holding her hands giving her a kiss giving her that hug why because it's something healthy that builds marriage and builds also your children's view of your marriage amen and the last thing is that you want to compliment your wife now all of these five things are very hard picking up a garbage bag is excruciating you a guy can lift a semi truck he just can't lift a garbage can it's very hard it's just very difficult a guy can talk for example one of my gifts is or one of my things is I talk for living I I run my mouth all the time I talk for a long time like right now I am 10 minutes over my sermon I talk I have a lot of words to say when it comes to describing my wife's dress I have one word good and when your wife spends a lot of time taking care of herself when we were young in our marriage I was always fighting against her taking too much time why are you taking so long I am waiting for you always complaining about that and then one day she brought a revelation into my life that changed me and she says do you want me to be beautiful I said yeah and every man wants his wife to be beautiful to him she says I want to be beautiful for you she says but you have to understand beauty is expensive so she asked me he says how bad do you want me to be beautiful I said she says how much do you have can you pay for that and I said what's the price she says two things your credit card and number two your time can you be patient when I'm getting ready instead of being irritating instead of being frustrated can you be patient as I am in front of that mirror and remember I will never be able to fix my hair in 36 seconds it's gonna take me time you want me to be beautiful you want to feel proud to be my husband that I am your wife but you have to pay a price for that and one of those prices is give me time to get ready secondly is can you pay for my nail treatment and I said babe I can buy scissors on amazon 39.99 one-time investment for the lifetime she says no the nails that the other people do for two hours are a little bit more expensive okay we can do nails what else toes I said nobody sees those toes during winter we can let them grow no they need to be taken care of can you do it yourself what if you learn that skill and I pay for the class so you take care of your own toes no other people can take care of my toes better can you pay for that yes honey we can pay for that what about these things that come out of your eyes call lashes I said babe but you have lashes they're there already I could see them but it's nicer when they stick out can I put extenders on them and I said how much does that cost I said no no lashes we don't do lashes I don't agree I'm pretty sure there's scripture in the bible against lashes I was like we don't need lashes my wife started doing lashes not all the time though but sometimes she started doing lashes and then comes the most expensive one and that's the hair you know my solution is cut it make it a boy haircut cheaper less expensive you know and it's no they're very long and then there's treatment for hair there's healing for I found out there's special healing almost sounds like new age there is healing for hair and not only that but there's extensions there's dying hairs there's all of this stuff and as husbands a lot of times what we do we complain that our wives don't take care of themselves but then we don't want to provide for that your wife wants to feel beautiful and I want to encourage every husband make a little budget in your wife where you for your wife where you bless her and say hey go treat yourself go and have a good time why because I want you to feel beautiful and I want to provide for that but the hard the hard part is this is when they do to give them compliment and this is hard for me personally I mean this happened just two weeks ago we're in the car and my wife says how do I look which to me already tells me she's been fishing for a compliment for 30 minutes and finally came to a point of admitting that I did not give her a compliment and I remember looking you know up and down and I said amazing no usually I wouldn't do amazing I would do great which great means not amazing but amazing means and and I said well it's amazing what is amazing I said everything what about my hair oh it's amazing and then what happens is becomes the same word that is used for everything else and I found out with women that's not how it works that's why song of Solomon went into describing Solomon went into poetry he brought Lebanon and Gazelle into his vocabulary mountains and hills rain and dew and gardens and all of this stuff and pomegranates and you're reading this stuff you're like what is wrong with us guys he high on something no it's what happens is that you come to a woman's world and you have to be expressive and for guys this is where most of us some of you you can code a bomb but you can describe your wife's hair except good and I want to challenge you to love your wife by being generous with your vocabulary and go into more of an extensive and expressive way you may not feel being expressive but remember she needs to feel that she is loved what did Jesus do with the church he washes her with the word when you express your thoughts you're beautiful I love how your hair goes through your head like this and it makes these waves I don't know what that is but it's it's these waves I Jesus walked on waves he would walk right over that I love the fact that your skin just shines like Moses in the bible you just bring the bible into it bring the scriptural example but something that shows that you give attention you're intentional about this something begins to happen your wife will begin to feel clean she will begin to be washed the insecurities will begin to be gone she will be treasured she will feel appreciate nourished the word the bible used nourished she will be washed by the word not coming in and saying you fat when you're gonna go to gym what kind of a compliment is that not coming in say hey why are you dressed in those rags when are you gonna you know take care of yourself that's not a husband that waters the flower it's a husband that comes to this flower and stumps it and expects it to grow and compares his wife to another wife who is taking care of herself but the reason why is because she has a husband that provides gives her that affection that wife will bloom in the garden husbands that you water i'm gonna finish with the story there was a man in the sea he was a like a sea sailor he lived during the time when the way you would get married is you would bring a gift to the father of the bride dowry in this particular island they would bring a cow to pay for a dowry for a daughter and typically you would get a husband a father would get a cow one cow for his daughter now some men had more love for some of their potential mates and they would give two cows this guy johnny lingo and the pacific on the island in the pacific had eight cows decided to find himself an eight cow wife he goes to this man who had a daughter she was plain lacked any social graces expected of any woman didn't take care of herself in the eyes of her neighbors she was not more likely most likely to get married even her father didn't think she will get married definitely she's not worth even one cow she doesn't she's not worth any dowry at all because she doesn't take care of herself and she's just kind of one of those people that just not there this guy john comes in and her name was Sarita or some legends say Mahana he gives eight cows to marry Sarita takes her home to his island and before he took her the father asked johnny and he said you know you could have gotten her for one cow why did you spend eight cows he said i only dreamed of having an eight cow wife not one cow wife i want her to know her value months later the father came to this man's house and there came this gorgeous you know straight looking excited beaming with life and love hair coming down and i'm not going to describe her now and i mean just just this girl that the father never seen her like that in the house beaming with life and he asked her he says you know what's happening to you and she said when he started to treat me and raised my value as an eight cow wife and he paid that i started to feel that i am loved i am accepted i started to take care of myself and i started to act like an eight cow wife now i know wives you probably offended by the cow illustration so ignore that i said that this was for your husband cows he understands cows husbands make your wife an eight cow wife raise her value in your own eyes first don't wait for her to raise her appearance raise your value and then sew into your wife bless your wife nurture your wife nourish your wife so that she will grow in the garden of your marriage as a woman as a mother as a daughter of god as somebody who you take care of and other people will look at and say this man has made this woman to be great my wife is a ten cow wife can you come yeah when i married her you know she was good-looking i love the way she looked but i mostly like the way her heart was she was so bold she worked at like goodwill type of a store she was so proud of working there and and i'm thinking i was like you know girl like you working in a goodwill and and she she's it almost seemed like she was working for like some fortune 500 company she was describing that i was like she just lived in america not for very long i can't believe she's saying all this but this girl she was bold she loved god she served as an usher in her church but it didn't matter to her because it was serving the church that mattered in any position even if it was being an usher you know and today i see god using her but god also changed me as a man to give her preference to give her the honor to elevate her not to push her he told me right the way when we got married i don't want to have 16 kids like your grandma i don't want to preach like joce mire i don't want to be a worship leader like carrie jope or darlin check she's like you you can't make me that she's like i want to be your supporter i want to be your biggest fan and as a girl you got it if you can celebrate me i will live for you and we would go to places they want her to speak also to share and she's like nah that's just not my thing she's not drawn to the stages she's just not just not the way her calling is but she believes in supporting my my calling that god has given me and then god uses me also to bless her we were sometimes when people bless us you know they come and they sow into me they're like hey pastor we just want to bless you personally and then we would go like we went this weekend and you know we prayed both of us and i tell my wife and i said you go pray too so she goes even in some places women are not allowed to pray and i break those rules and i said my wife she will pray and i said she's gonna pray with me you don't invite me again that's your choice but we will pray together for people so we would go my wife would go demons are manifesting left and right and there was only men who can pray in those churches they will look at and this tiny little one and she's standing like against some giant goliath out in jesus they are and the demons are manifesting my tiny little wife over there driving our demons like nobody's business and then we would fly home and i said babe i'm gonna sow an honorarium into you i said you drove how many demons three demons i was like that i'm just gonna bless you why because you you're a demon slayer husbands honor your wives husbands lift your wives be generous with your wives husbands compliment your wives husbands give your life the bible says as christ your example is not your dad even if he was great your example is greater it's the lord jesus christ as he loved you that's how you love her maybe you say but she's not respecting me if she will treat me like a king i will treat her like a queen the bible says husbands don't react to how your wife treats you but love her as jesus loved you her reaction will change the word you she will treat you like a king if you honor her like a queen amen so i know this is not dealing with demons and um incubus and succubus and witchcraft and other stuff not yet we're gonna deal with that in just a moment but this deals with how to behave tomorrow when you go home after you get delivered after you get healed how husbands should behave amen thanks for watching to this sermon if this was a blessing to you would you let me know in the comments below what stood out to you from this message what are you taking home with you from this message also if you enjoyed these messages would you help us and hit thumbs up to this video and subscribe to our channel so you can get new videos every single week delivered to you on your youtube app if you go to 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