 This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Peace on Earth, Good Will to Dogs by Eleanor Hallowell Abbott. Read today by Allison Hester in Athens, Georgia. Peace on Earth, Good Will to Dogs, Part 1. If you don't like Christmas stories, don't read this one. And, if you don't like dogs, I don't know just what to advise you to do. For I warn you perfectly, frankly, that I am distinctly pro-dog and distinctly pro-Christmas and would like to bring to this little story whatever whiff of fur or balsam I can conjure from the maple leaf forest in my typewriter and every glitter of tinsel, smudge of toy candle, crackle of wrapping paper that my particular brand of brain and ink can conjure up on a single keyboard and very large-sized dogs shall romp through every page and the mercury shiver perpetually in the vicinity of zero and every foot of earth be crusty brown and bare with no white snow at all till the very last moment when you've just about given up hope and all the heart of the story is very, oh, very young. For purposes of propri-propriety and general historical authenticity there are, of course, parents in the story and one or two oldish persons but they all go away just as early in the narrative as I can manage it are obliged to go away. Yet, lest you find in this general combination of circumstances some sinister thread of audacity let me conventionalize the story at once by opening it at that most conventional of all conventional Christmas story hours the twilight of Christmas Eve. Nuff said, Christmas Eve, you remember? Twilight? Awfully cold weather and somebody very young? Now, for the story itself. After five blustering wintery weeks of village speculation and gossip there was, of course, considerable satisfaction in being the first to solve the mysterious holiday Tennessee of the Rattle-Pain House. Breathless with excitement, flame-nourished telephone the news from the village post office. From a pedestal of boxes fairly bulging with red-willed go-carts one keen, young elbow rammed for balance into a gay, glassy shelf of stick candy. Green tissue garland stickling across her cheek. She sped the message to her mother. Oh, mother-funny, triumph flame. I found out who's Christmasing at the Rattle-Pain House it's a red-haired setter dog with one black ear and he's sitting at the front gate this moment super-intending the unpacking of the furniture van and I've named him Lopsie. Why flame? How absurd! gasped her mother. In consideration of the fact that flame's mother had run all the way from the icy-footed chicken yard to answer the telephone it shows distinctly what stuff she was made of that she gasped nothing else. And that flame herself re-telephone within the half-hour to acknowledge her absurdity shows equally distinctly what stuff she was made of. It was from the summit of a crate of holly reeds that she telephoned this time. Oh, mother-funny, apologized flame. You were perfectly right. No lone dog in the world could possibly manage a great spooky place like the Rattle-Pain House. There are two other dogs with him a great long, narrow, sofa-shaped dog upholstered in lemon and white something terribly ferocious like Russian Wolfhound, I think he is but I've named him Beautiful Lovely and there's the neatest looking paper white coach dog just perfectly ruined with ink spots Blunderblot, I think will make a good name for him and oh, flame! panted her mother. Dogs do not take houses. It was not from the chicken yard that she had come running this time but only from her husband's sermon-writing room in the attic. Oh, don't they though? gloated flame. Well, they've taken this one anyway taking it by storm, I mean scratched all the green paint off the front door torn a big hole as a cavern in the Barbary hedge the sun dialed through a bulkhead if it snows tonight, the cellar will be a glacier. Dogs do not take houses! persisted flame's mother she was still persisting it indeed when she returned to her husband's study her husband, it seemed had not noticed her absence still pouring over the toms and commentaries incidental to the preparation of his next Sunday sermon his fine face glowed half brown, half ecstasy in the December twilight while close at his elbow all unnoticed a smoking kerosene lamp went smudging its acrid path to the ceiling dusky lock for dusky lock dreamy eye for dreamy eye smoking lamp for smoking lamp it might have been a short-haired replica of flame herself oh, if flame had only been set like the maternal side of the house reason flame's mother were merely dreamy like her father her father being only dreamy could sometimes be diverted from his dreams but to be set and dreamy both absolutely set on being absolutely dreamy that was flame with renewed tenacity flame's mother reverted to truth as truth dogs do not take houses she affirmed with unmistakable emphasis hey, what? jumped her husband dogs, dogs? who said anything about dogs? with a fretted pucker between his brows he bent to his work again he interrupted me he reproached her my sermon is about hellfire I had all but smelled it it was very disagreeable with a gesture of impatience he snatched up his notes and tore them in two I think I will write about the garden of Eden instead he rallied the garden of Eden in iris time florentina alba everywhere whiteness, sweetness, now let me see oris root I believe is deducted from the florentina alba mmm, sniff flames mother with an impulse purely practical she started for the kitchen the season happens to be Christmas time she suggested bluntly now if you could see your way to make a sermon that smelled like donuts and plum pudding donuts queried her husband and hurried after her supplementing the far remote glory of god expression in his face the glory of donuts shone suddenly very warmly flame at least did not have to be reminded about the seasons oh mother telephoned flame almost at once it's so much newer Christmas than it was half an hour ago are you sure everything will keep all those big packages that came yesterday that humpy one especially don't you think you ought to peep or poke just the teeniest, tiniest little peep or poke it would be a shame if anything spoiled a turkey or a or a fur coat or anything I am making donuts confided her mother with the faintest possible taint of asperity oh conceded flame and father's watching them then I'll hurry mother deprecated the excited young boys you are always so hoardly right lotsy and beautiful, lovely and blunderblot are not Christmasing all alone in the rattle pain house there is a man with them don't tell father he's so nervous about men a man stammered her mother oh I hope it's not a young man where did he come from oh I don't think he came at all confided flame it was flame who was perplexed this time he looks to me more like a person who had always been there like something I mean that the dogs found in the attic quite crumpled he is and with a red waistcoat a butler perhaps a sort of secondhand butler oh mother I wish we had a butler flame interrupted her mother quite abruptly where are you doing without all of this telephoning from I only gave you 18 cents and it was to buy cereal with cereal considered flame oh that's all right she gloat suddenly I've paid cash for the telephoning and charged the cereal when they swallow faintly guttural flame's mother hung up the receiver dogs do not have butlers she persisted unshakingly she was perfectly right they did not it seemed no one was quicker than flame to acknowledge a mistake before five o'clock flame had added a telephone item to the cereal bill oh my fair question flame the little red sweater and tan that I have on would they be all right do you think you need to make a call in not a formal call of course just a neighborly greeting at the door it being Christmas Eve and everything and as long as I have to pass right by the house anyway there's a lady at the rattle pain house a what father would call a lady maiden miss oh not a real lady I think protested her mother not with all those dogs no real lady I think would have so many dogs isn't sanitary isn't sanitary cried flame why mother they are the most absolutely perfectly sanitary dogs you ever saw in your life into her eager young voice an expression of an effable dignity shot suddenly well really mother she said in whatever concerns men or crocheting I am perfectly willing to take father's advice or yours for all I am 18 stiffen the young voice and when it comes to dogs I must use my own judgment and just what is the lady's name question her mother a bit weekly her name is miss flora right in flame the butler has just gone to the station to meet her I heard him telephoning quite friendsedly I think she must have missed her train or something it seemed to make everybody nervous maybe she's nervous maybe she's a nervous invalid with a lost lover somewhere and all sorts of pressed flowers somebody ought to call anyway call right away I mean before she gets any more nervous so many people's first impressions of a place I've heard are spoiled for lack of some perfectly silly little thing like a nutmeg grater or a hot water bottle until mother it's been so long since anyone has lived in the rattle pain house not for years and years and years not dogs anyway not a lemon and a white wolfhound not setters not spidey dogs oh mother just one little we single men and at the door just long enough to say the Rev and Mrs. Flamene Norris and Mrs. Norris present their compliments and are you paying a chance short of marabone or would you possibly care to borrow an extra quilt to rug up under the kitchen table Blonde or black doesn't look very thick or oh mother please when Flamene said please like that the word was no more no less than the fabled bundle of rags or haunch of venison hurled back from a wolf pursued sleigh to divert the pursuer even temporarily from the main issue while Flamene's mother paused to consider the particularly flavorous sweetness of that entity to picture the flashing eye of the pulsing throat the absurdly crinkled nostril that invariably accompanied all Flamene's entities Flamene herself was escaping taken all in all escaping was one of the best things that Flamene did as well as the most becoming whipped into scarlet by the sudden plunge from a stove heated store into the frosty night her young cheeks barely blazed their bright reaction frost and speed quickened her breath her eyes challenged the moon fearful even yet that some tardy admonition might overtake her she sped like a deer through the darkness it was a dull smelling night pretty but very dull smelling disdainfully her nostrils crinkled their disappointment Christmas time adventures ought to smell like Christmas she scolded maybe if I'm ever president she argued I won't do so but Christmas shall smell like Christmas not just a frozen mud and camphor balls I'll have great fats a fur balsam essence at every street corner and gigantic atomizers and every passerby shall be sprayed in stores and churches and everybody who doesn't like Christmas shall be dipped under her feet the smoothest village road turned suddenly into the harsh ruts of a country lane with fluctuant blackness against the mutable blackness great sweeping pine trees swished weirdly into the horizon where the hobbly lane curved darkly into a meadow through a snarl of winter-stricken willows on the rattle of a loose windowpane smote quite distinctly on the ear it was a horrid deserted sound and with the instinctive habit of years flames little hand clutched at her heart then quite abruptly she laughed aloud oh you can't scare me anymore you gloomy old rattle-pane house she laughed you're not deserted now people are Christmasing in you whether you like it or not you're being Christmased very tentatively she puckered her lips to a whistle almost instantly from the darkness ahead a dog's bark rang out deep saunurous joy she crawled through the barberry hedge and emerged for a single instant only at her full height before three furry shapes came hurdling out of the darkness and toppled her over backwards stop beautiful lovely she gasped stop lopsy behave yourself blunderblot silly's don't you know I'm the lady that was talking to you this morning through the picket fence don't you know I'm the lady that fed you oh dear of dear of dear she struggled I knew of course that there were three dogs but whoever in the world would have guessed that three could be so many as expeditiously as possible she picked herself up and bolted for the house with two furry shapes leaping largely on either side of her and one cold nose sniffing interrogatively at her heels her heart was very light her pulses jumping with excitement an occasional furry head into the palm of her hand warmed the whole bleak night with its sense of mute companionship but the back of her heels felt certainly very queer and the warm yellow lights of the rattle pain house did not altogether dispel her uneasiness maybe I'd better not plan to make my call so so very informal she decided suddenly not at a house where there are quite so many dogs not at a house where there is a butler anyway crowding and pushing and yelping and fawning around her it was the dogs who announced her ultimate arrival like a drift of snow the huge wolf pound whirled his white shaggyness into the vegetable shrill as a banging blind the impetuous coach dog lurched his sleek weight against the door sucking at a crack of light the red setter's kindle nose glowed and snorted with dragon-like ferocity without knock or ring the door handle creaked and turned three ecstatic shapes went hurdling through a yellow glare into the hall beyond and flame found herself steering up into the blinking astonished eyes of the crumpled old man with the red waistcoat good, good evening butler she rallied good evening miss stammered the butler I've come to call confided flame all stammered the butler yes conceded flame I don't happen to have an engraved card with me before the continued imperturbability of the old butler all subterfuge seemed suddenly quite useless I never have had an engraved card she confided quite abruptly but you might tell miss floria if you please would nothing crack the butler's imperturbability maybe she could prove just a little bit imperturbable herself oh butlers don't tell people things do they they always announce things don't they well kindly announce to miss floria that the the minister's daughter is at the door oh no it isn't asking for a subscription or anything she hastened quite suddenly to explain it's just a christian call the being so nervous and lost on the train and everything she thought miss floria might be glad to know that there were neighbors we live so near in everything and can run like the wind oh not mother of course she's a bit stout and father starts alright but usually gets thinking of something else but I kindly announce to miss floria she repeated with palpable christmas that the minister's daughter is at the door fixedly old fixedly crumpled fixedly imperturbable the butler stepped back a single jerky pace and bowed her towards the parlor now thrilled flame the adventure really begins it certainly was a sad and romantic looking parlor and strangely furnished flamed thought for even moving times through a maze of bulging packing boxes and barrels she picked her way to a faded rose colored chair that flanked the fireplace that the chair was already half occupied by a pile of ancient books and four dusty garden travels only served to intensify the general air of gloom presiding over all two dreadful bouquets of long dead grasses flared onely on the mantelpiece and from the tattered old landscape paper on the walls civil war heroes stared regretfully down through pale and tarnished frames dear me dear me shivered flame not going to Christmas at all evidently not a sprig of holly anywhere not a rabble of tinsel, not a jingle bell oh, she must have lost a lot of lovers thrilled flame I can bring her flowers anyway my very first paper white narcissus my with the scrape of the foot the butler made known his return Ms. Flora, he announced with the catch of her breath jumped to her feet and turned to greet the biggest, ugliest most brindled, most wisened bulldog she had ever seen in her life Ms. Flora repeated the old butler simply Ms. Flora gasped flame, why why I thought Ms. Flora was a lady why Ms. Flora is indeed a very grand lady, miss affirmed the butler without a flicker of expression of a pedigree so famous so distinguished so numerically on his fingers he began to count the distinctions five prizes this year and three last do you mind the chop? he gloated, the breath, the depth did you ever hear of Alontes? he demanded them bull baiting dogs that was invented by the second Duke of York or thereabouts in the year 1406 oh my glory he, thrilled flame is Ms. Flora as old as that? Ms. Flora said the old butler with some dignity is young, hardly too in fact so young that she seems to me but just weaned with her great eyes goggled to a particularly disconcerting sort of scrutiny Ms. Flora sprang suddenly forward to investigate the visitor as though by a pre-concerted signal a chair crashed over in the hall and the wolf pound and the setter and the coach dog came hurdling back in a furiously cordial onslaught with wags and growls and yelps of joy all four dogs met in flames lap they seem to like me don't they triumph flame intermittently through the melee of flopping ears shoving shoulders waving paws her beaming little face proved the absolute sincerity of that triumph mothers never let me have any dogs she confided mother thinks they're not oh of course I realize that four dogs is a good many she hastened diplomatically to concede to a certain sudden droop around the old butler's mouth corners from his slow stooping poke of the sulky fire the old butler glanced up with a certain plaintive intentness all dogs is too many he affirmed come christmas time I wish I was dead wish you were dead at christmas time cried flame a cute shock was in her protest it's the feeding sighed the old butler it ain't that I'm mind eating with them on all saints day or fourth of july or even sundays but come christmas time it seems like I craves to eat with more humans I got a nephew less than two miles away he's got cider in his cellar and plum puddings his woman she raises guinea chickens and minced pies there is in tasty gravies but me I mix his dog bread and milk dog bread and milk till I can't see nothing think nothing but mush and him with cider in his cellar it ain't as though mr. deload ever came himself to prove anything he argued not christmas time it's traveling he is he's had misfortunes he confided darkly he travels for him same as some folks travels for their health most especially at christmas time he travels for his misfortunes he mr. del cody quick and flamed mr. del cody now at least at last was the mysterious tenancy about to be divulged all he says persisted the old butler all he says is now bear it that's me now bear it I trust your honor to see that the dogs ain't neglected just because it's christmas there ain't no reason bear it he says why innocent dogs should suffer christmas just because everyone else does they ain't done nothing it won't do now bear it he says for you to give them their dinner at dawn when they ain't accustomed to it you know what dog is bear it he says and what they isn't they've got to be fed regular he says and with discipline else there's deaths some natural some unnatural and some just plain spectacular from furniture falling on their arguments so if there's any fatalities come this christmas time bear it he says if you gain weight or losses in weight I shall infer bear it he says that you was absent without leave it don't look like a very wholesome christmas for me side the old butler not either way not what you call wholesome but this mr. Delcote puzzled flame what a perfectly horrid man he must be to give such heavenly dogs nothing but dog bread for their christmas dinner is he young is he old is he thin is he fat however in the world did he happen to come to a queer battered old place like the rattle pain house but once come why didn't he stay and and and yes side the old butler in a firm mint of curiosity flame edged jerkily forward and subsided as jerkily again oh if only this was a parish call she deprecated I could just ask questions right out loud how where why when but being just a social call I suppose I suppose appealingly her eager eyes search the old butlers inscrutable face yes repeated the old butler dolly through quavering fingers that he swept suddenly across his brow to very genuine tears glistened with characteristic precipitousness flame jumped to her feet oh darn mr. dill cold he she cried I'll feed your dogs christmas day it won't take a minute after my own dinner or before I'll run like the wind no one need ever know so it was that when flame arrived at her own home 15 minutes later and found her parents madly packing suitcases searching timetables and rushing generally to and fro from attic to cellar no very mutual exchange of competences ensued it's your uncle Wally panted her mother another shock confided her father and not such a bad one either explained her mother but of course we'll have to go the very first thing in the morning christmas day too and leave you all alone perfect shame but I've planned it all out for everybody father's lay reader of course we'll take the christmas service we'll just have to omit the christmas tree surprise for the children it's lucky we didn't even unpack the trimmings or tell a soul about it in a hectic effort to pack both a thick coat and a thin coat and a thick dress and a thin dress and thick boots and thin boots in the same suitcase she began very palpably to pant again yes every detail is all planned out she asserted with a breathy sort of pride you and your father are both so flighty I don't know whatever in the world you do if I didn't plan out everything for you with more manners than efficiency flam and her father dropped at once every helpful thing they were doing and sat down in a rocking chair to listen to the plan flam of course can't stay here all alone flam's mother turned in confided sato voice to her husband young men might call the lay reader is almost sure to call he's a dear delightful soul of course but I'm afraid he has an amorous eye all lay readers have amorous eyes reflected her husband taking it all and all is a great asset don't be flippant admonished flam's mother there are reasons why I prefer that flam's lover of marriage should not be from a lay reader why? brightened flam shhhh cautioned her father very good reasons repeated her mother from the conglomerate packing under her hand a puff of spilled tooth powder whipped fragrantly into the air yes prodded her husband's blandly impatient voice flam shall go to her aunt menace announced the dominant maternal voice by driving with us to the station she'll have only two hours to wait for her train and that will save one bus fare aunt menace a vegetarian and doesn't believe in sweets either so that will be quite a unique and profitable experience for flam to add to her general culinary education it's a wonderful house a bit dark of course but if the day should prove it all bright not so bright of course that aunt menace wouldn't be willing to have the shades up but oh and flam she admonished still breathlessly I think you'd better be careful to wear one of your rather longish skirts and oh do be sure to wipe your feet every time you come in and don't chatter whatever you do don't chatter your aunt menace you know it's just a little bit peculiar but such a worthy woman so methodical so to flam's inner vision appeared quite suddenly the pale inscrutable face of the old butler who asked nothing, answered nothing welcomed nothing, evaded nothing yes um said flam but it was a very frankly disconsolate little girl who stole late that night to her father's study and perched herself high on the arm of his chair with her cheek snuggled close to his a father funny whispered flam I've got such a queer little pain a pain jerked her father oh dear me where is it go and find your mother at once mother frowned flam oh it isn't that kind of pain it's in my Christmas I've got such a sad little pain in my Christmas oh dear me dear me like two people most precipitously with shyness they sat for a moment staring blankly around the room at every conceivable object except each other then quite suddenly they looked back at each other and smiled father said flam you're not of course the very old man but still you are a pretty old aren't you you've seen a whole lot of Christmases I mean yes conceded her father from the great clumsy rolling collar blanket wrapper flames little face looms suddenly very pink and earnest but father urged flam did you ever in your whole life spend a Christmas just exactly the way you wanted to honest to Santa Claus now did you ever why why no admitted her father after a second's hesitation why no I don't believe I ever did quite frankly between his brows they're puckered a very black frown now take tomorrow for instance he complained I had planned to go fishing through the ice after the morning service of course after we had our Christmas dinner and gotten tired of our presents every intention in the world I had of going fishing through the ice and now your uncle Wally has to go and have a shock I don't believe it was necessary he should have taken extra precautions the least that we look at relatives can do is take extra precautions at holiday time oh of course your uncle Wally has his books and his library he brightened very interesting old books that wouldn't be perfectly seemly for a minister of the gospel to have in his own library but still it's very disappointing he wilted again I agree with you utterly father funny said Flane but father she persisted of all the people you know in the world millions would it be no call it thousands corrected her father well thousands accepted Flane old people young people fat people skinnies cross people jolly people did you ever in your life know anyone who had ever spent Christmas just the way he wanted to well I know I don't know that I ever did considered her father with his elbows on the arm of his chair his slender fingers a lovely gothic arch above the bridge of his nose he yielded himself instantly to the reflection why no I don't know that I ever did he repeated with an increasing air of conviction when you're young enough to enjoy the day as a holler day there's usually some blighting the person who prefers to have it observed as a holy day and by the time you reach an age where you really rather appreciate it's being a holy day the chances are that you've got a house full of rackety youngsters who barely insist on reverting to the holler day idea again um encouraged Flane when you're little of course you have to spend the day the way your elders want you to you crave a Christmas tree but they prefer stockings sweet but they consider the weather better for corn popping you ask for a bicycle but they had already found a nice bargain in flannels you beg to dine the gay kerchief scissor grinders child but they invite the minister's toothless mother-in-law and when you're old enough to go courting he sighed your lady love sentiments are outraged if you don't spend the day with her and your own family are perfectly furious if you don't spend the day with them and after they got married with a gesture of ultimate despair he sank back into his cushions no no one I suppose in the whole world has ever spent Christmas just exactly the way he wanted to well I triumph Flane have got a chance to spend Christmas just exactly the way I want to the one chance perhaps in a lifetime it would seem no heart aches involved no disappointments for anybody nobody left out nobody dragged in why father Bonnie she cried it's an experience that might distinguish me all my life long even when I'm very old and crumpled people would point me out on the street and say there's someone who wants me Christmas just exactly the way she wanted to to a limpness almost unbelievable the eager little figure wilted down within its blanket wrapper swathings and now deprecated Flane mother has gone and wished me on Aunt Mina instead with a sudden revival of enthusiasm two small hands crept out of their big cuffs and clutched her father by the ears oh father funny pleaded Flane if you were too old to want it for a holler day and not quite old enough to need it for a holy day so that all you asked in the world was just to have it a holly day something all bright red and green and tinsel and jingle bells how would you like to have Aunt Mina wished on you it isn't as it isn't you know as though Aunt Mina was a pleasant person she argued with perfectly indisputable logic you couldn't wish one a merry Aunt Mina anymore than you could wish him a merry good bright day from the clutch on his ears the small hands crept to a point at the back of his back where they encompassed him suddenly in a crunching hug oh father funny implored Flane you were a lay reader once you must have had very amorous eyes couldn't you please persuade mother that with a crisp flutter of skirts Flane's mother and herself appeared abruptly in the door her manner was very excited why wherever in the world have you people been right are you stone deaf didn't you hear the telephone couldn't you even hear me calling your uncle Wally is worse that is he's better but he thinks he's worse and they want us all to come at once it's something about a new will the lawyer telephone he advises us to come at once they've sent an automobile for us and it will be here any minute but whatever in the world shall we do about Flane you know how uncle Wally feels about having young people in the house and she can't possibly go to Aunt Menna's till tomorrow and but you see I'm not going to Aunt Menna's announced Flane quite serenely slipping down from her father's lap she stood with a round, rolly-poly flannel sort of dignity confronting both her parents father says I don't have to why Flane protested her father now of course you didn't say it with your mouth admitted Flane but you said it with your skin and bones I could feel it working not go to your Aunt Menna's gasped her mother what do you want to do stay at home and spend Christmas with the lay reader when you and father talk like that murmured Flane with some hotcher I don't know whether you're trying to run him down or run him up well how do you feel about him yourself veered her father quite irrelevantly oh I like him some conceited Flane in her bright cheeks suddenly an even brighter color glowed I like him when he leaves out the litany she said I told him I like it when he leaves out the litany he's leaving it out more and more I noticed yes I like him very much but this Aunt Menna business teared back her father suddenly what do you want to do that's just the question what do you want to do yes what do you want to do panted her mother I want to make a Christmas for myself said Flane oh of course I know perfectly well she agreed that I could go to a dozen places in the parish and be crybabyed over for my presumable loneliness and probably I should cry a little but I was very worried towards the dessert when the plum pudding came in and it wasn't like mothers but if I made a Christmas of my own she rallied instantly everything about it would be brand new and unassociated I tell you I want to make a Christmas of my own it's the chance of a lifetime even father sees it it's the chance of a lifetime do you demanded his wife a bit huh huh screamed the motor at the door oh dear me whatever in the world shall I do cried Flane's mother I'm almost distracted I'm when in doubt do as the doubters do suggested Flane's father quite genially choose the most doubtful doubt on the docket and Flane's got a pretty level head he interrupted himself very characteristically no young girl has a level heart Flane's mother I'm so worried about the lay reader lay reader murmured her father already he had crossed the threshold into the hall and was rummaging through an overloaded hat rat for his fur coat why yes he called back I quite forgot to ask just what kind of Christmas is it Flane that you want to make with unprecedented accuracy he turned at the moment to force his wife's arms into the sleeves of her own fur coat twice Flane rolled up her cuffs and rolled them down again before she answered I want to make a surprise for Ms. Flora she confided huh huh urged the automobile for Ms. Flora gasped her mother Ms. Flora echoed her father why at the rattle paint house you know rallied Flane don't you remember that I called there this afternoon it looked rather lonely there I think I could fix it hulk hulk hulk implored the automobile but who is this Ms. Flora cried her mother I never heard anything so ridiculous in my life how do we know she's respectable oh my dear deprecated Flane's father just as though the owners of the rattle paint house would rent it to anyone who wasn't respectable oh she's very respectable insisted Flane of a lineage so distinguished how old might this paragon be queried her father old puzzled Flane to her startled mind two answers only presented themselves should she say oh she's only just weaned or well she was invented about 1406 between these two dilemmas a single compromise suggested itself she's awfully wrinkled said Flane that is her faces all wisened up I mean oh then of course she must be respectable twinkled Flane's father and is in some way persisted Flane related to Edward the second Duke of York of that guarantee of respectability I am of course not quite so sure said her father with a temporary stamping of her feet an infuriate yank of the doorbell Uncle Wally Sheffer announced that the limit of his endurance had been reached Flane's mother stared at Flane's father Flane's father returned the stare oh please implored Flane her face was crinkled like fine crepe smooth out your nose ordered her mother on the verge of capitulation the same familiar fear assailed her will you promise not to see the lay reader she bargained yes him said Flane end of part one of peace on earth goodwill to dogs this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to find out how you can volunteer visit LibriVox.org this reading by Allison Hester of Athens, Georgia peace on earth goodwill to dogs by Eleanor Hollowell Abbott part two it's a dull person who doesn't wake up Christmas morning with a curiously ticklish sense of tinsel in the pit of his stomach a sort of shine a kind of pain glisten in tears pang of the tears that's Christmas so much was born on Christmas day so much has died so much is yet to come balsam scented with the pulse of bells how the senses sing memories that wouldn't have batted an eye for all the Gabriel trumpets in eternity leaping to life at the sound of a two penny horn merry folk who were with us once and are no more dream folk who have never been with us yet it will be some time ache of old carols zest of new fangled games flavor of pudding shine of silver and glass the pleasant frosty smell of the express man the gift beautiful the gift dutiful the gift that didn't come high hoe manger and toy shop miracle and mirth glisten in tears laugh at the years that's Christmas flame noris certainly was willing to laugh at the years 18 usually is waking at dawn two single thoughts consumed her the lay reader and the humpiest of the express packages downstairs the lay reader's name was Bertrand Bertrand the lay reader flame always called him the rest of the parish called him Mr. Lorello it was the thought of Bertrand the lay reader that made flame laugh the most as long as I've promised most faithfully not to see him she laughed how can I possibly go to church for the first Christmas in my life she laughed I won't have to go to church with this obligation so cheerfully canceled the exploration of the humpiest express package loomed definitely as the next task on the horizon hoping for a fur coat from her father fearing for a set of encyclopedias from her mother she tore back the wrappings with eager hands only to find all astonished and half a scream a gay gauzy layer of animal masks nosing interrogatively up at her less practical surely than the fur coat more amusing certainly than encyclopedias the funny fault spaces grinned up at her with curiously excited audacity where from no identifying card what for no conceivable clue unless perhaps just on general principles a donation for the Sunday school Christmas tree but there wasn't going to be any tree tentatively she reached into the box and touched the fiercely striped face of a tiger the fantastically exaggerated beak of a red green carrot ummmm used flame whatever in the world shall I do with them then quite abruptly she sank back on her heels and began to laugh and laugh and laugh even the lay reader had not received such a laughing but even to herself she did not say just what she was laughing at it was a time for deeds it would seem and not for words certainly the morning was very full of deeds there was of course a present from her mother to be opened warm woolly stockings and things like that but no one was ever swore from an original purpose by trying on warm woolly stockings and from her father there was the most absurd little box no bigger than your nose marked for a week in New York and stuffed to the brim with the sweetest bright green wheels but of course you couldn't try those on and half the parish sent presents but no parish ever sent presents that needed to be tried on no gay fluffy scarfs no lacy frivolous petty skirts no bright delaying hat ribbons just books illustrated poems usually very wholesome pickles and always a huge motto to recommend peace on earth goodwill to men why not to women why not at least to dogs ask flame taken all in all it was not a Christmas morning of sentiment but a Christmas morning of works kitchen works mostly useful flavor adventures with a turkey a somewhat nervous sally with an apple pie intermittently of course a few experiments with flour paste a flare or two with a paint brush and air into the attic interminable giggles surely it was four o'clock before she was even ready to start for the rattle pain house and starting is by no means the same as arriving dragging a sled full of miscellaneous Christmas goods an eighth of a mile over bare ground is not an easy task she had to make three tugging trips and each start was delayed by her big gray pussy cat stealing out to try to follow her and each arrival complicated by all things in leaping in general cavortings of four dogs who didn't see any reason in the world why they shouldn't escape from their forced imprisonment in the shed yard and prance on with her even with the third start and the third arrival finally accomplished the crafty cat stood waiting for her on the steps of the rattle pain house back arched fur bristled spitting like some kind of new weather cock at the storm in the shed yard and had to be thrust quite harmoniously into a much too small covered basket and lashed down with yards and yards of tinsel that was needed quite definitely for something else it isn't just the way of the transgressor that's hard nobody's way is any too easy the door key though was exactly where the old butler has said it would be under the door mat and the key itself turned astonishingly cordially in the rusty old lock never in her whole little life having owned a door key to her own house it seemed quite an adventure in itself to be walking thus possessively through an unfamiliar hall into an absolutely unknown kitchen and goodness knew what on either side and beyond perfectly simple too as the old butler had promised the four dog dishes heaping to the brim loomed in prim line upon the kitchen table waiting for distribution sniff flame nothing but mush mush all over the world today I suppose while their masters are feasting at other people's houses on puddings and in cigarettes how the poor darlings must suffer locked in sheds tied in yards stuffed down cellar meow twinge the plaintive hint from the hallway just outside oh but cats are different argued flame so soft so plushy so spineless cats were meant to be stuffed into things without further parlaying she doft her red tam and sweater dawned a huge white all enveloping pinafore and started to ameliorate as best as she could the Christmas sufferings of the poor darlings immediately at hand it was at least a yellow kitchen or it had been once in all that gray dank neglected house the one suggestion of old sunshine we shall have our dinner here chuckled flame after the carols we shall have our dinner here theory boisterously in the yard just outside the window the four dogs coupled and raced for sheer excitement and joy at this most unexpected advent of human companionship intermittently from time to time they fell back into the frozen yard in a chaos of fur fur and yelps by five o'clock certainly the faded yellow kitchen must have looked very strange even to a dog by five o'clock certainly the faded yellow kitchen must have looked very strange even to a dog straight down its dingy wobbly floor center stretched along table cheerfully spread with the reverend Mrs. Flamande Norris' second best tablecloth quaint highbacked chairs dragged in from the shadowy parlor circled the table a pleasant china plate gleamed like a hand-painted moon before each chair at one end of the table loomed a big brown turkey at the other the appropriate vegetables pies cakes and donuts interspersed between themselves green wreaths streaming with scarlet ribbons hung nonchalantly across every chair top tinsel garland shone the walls in the doorway reared a hastily constructed mimicry of a railroad crossing sign directly opposite and conspicuously placed above the rusty stove pipe stretched the perishes gift motto duly readjusted peace on earth goodwill to dogs fatuously silly admitted flame even to herself but yet it does add something to the gaiety of rations stepping aside for a single thrilling moment to study the full effect of her handiwork the first psychological puzzle of her life smoked sharply across her senses namely that you never really get the whole fun out of anything unless you are absolutely alone but the very first instant you find yourself absolutely alone with a really good time you begin to twist and turn and hunt about for somebody very special to share it with you the only very special person that flame could think of was Bertrand the lay reader all a blush with the sheer mental surprise of it she fled to the shed door to summon the dogs maybe even the dogs won't come she reasoned hecticly maybe nothing will come always the way things happen when you get your own way about something else like a blast from the arctic of Christmas twilight swept in on her it crisped her cheeks crinkled her hair turned her spine into a wisp of tinsel all outdoors suddenly seemed creaking with frost all indoors with unknownness come beautiful lovely she implored come lopsie miss flora come blunderblood but there was really no need of entreaty a turn of the doorknob would have brought them leaping, loping for a breath they came plunging like so many north winds to their party streak of snow glow of fire frozen mud sunspot yelping mouth slapped slapping tailed backs bristling legs stiffening wolfhounds set her bulldog dimension each according to his kind hurdling and crowding oh dear me, dear me struggled flame maybe a carol would calm them to a certain extent a carol surely did the hair cloth parlor of the rattle pain house would have calmed anything and the mousy smell of the old piano fairly jerked the dogs to its senile old ivory keyboard cocking their ears to its quavering trouble notes snorting their nostrils through its gritty guttural vices they watched flame's facile fingers sweet from sound to sound oh what a glorious lark quivered flame what a a lonely glorious lark timidly at first but with an increasing abandon half laughter half tears the clear young soprano voice took up its playful paraphrase god rest you merry animals let nothing you dismay carol flame for it was just at this moment that beautiful lovely the wolf hound muzzle lifted eyes rolling jabbed his shrill nose into space in harmony with a carol of his own octaves of agony heaven knows what a vex to see that would have hurried an owl to its nest a ghoul to a moving picture show wow wow wow carol beautiful lovely wow wow wow wow as flames hands dropped from the piano the unmistakable creek of red wheels sounded on the frozen driveway just outside no one but Bertrand the lay reader drove a buggy with red wheels to the infinite scandalization of the parish no one but Bertrand the lay reader drove a buggy with red wheels fleet steps sounded suddenly on the path the startled fists beat furiously on the door what is it what is it shouted a familiar voice whatever in the world is happening is it murder let me in let me in silly hissed flame through a crack in the door it's nothing but a party don't you know a party when you hear it for an instant only blank silence greeted her confidence then Bertrand the lay reader relaxed in an indisputably genuine gasp of astonishment why is that you miss flame he gasped why I thought it was a murder why whatever in the world are you doing here I'm having a party hissed flame through the keyhole a party stammered the lay reader open the door no I can't demanded the lay reader helplessly in the darkness of the vegetable flame looked up and down and sideways but met always in every direction the memory of her promise I just can't she admitted a bit weakly it wouldn't be convenient I've got trouble with my eyes trouble with your eyes questioned the lay reader I didn't go away with my father and mother confided flame no so I notice observe the lay reader please open the door why I've been looking for you everywhere urged the lay reader at the senior wardens at the vestrimon's houses even at the sextons I knew you didn't go away the garage man told me there were only two I thought surely I'd find you at your own house I saw you on the tracks that was me I mumbled flame and then I heard these awful screams shuttered the lay reader that was a carol said flame a carol scoffed the lay reader open the door well just a crack conceded flame it was astonishing how a man as broad-shouldered as the lay reader easily threw a crack conscious stricken flame fled before him with her elbow crooked across her forehead oh my eyes my eyes she cried well really puzzled the lay reader though I claim of course to be ordinarily bright I had never suspected myself of being actually dazzling oh you're not bright at all protested flame it's just my promise I promised mother not to see you not to see me questioned the lay reader it was astonishing how almost instantaneously a man as purely theoretical as the lay reader was supposed to be thought of a perfectly practical solution to the difficulty why why we might tie my big handkerchief across your eyes he suggested just do we get this mystery straightened out surely there is nothing more or less than playing righteousness in that what a splendid idea capitulated flame but of course if I'm absolutely blindfolded she wavered for a second only you'll have to lead me by the hand I could do that admitted the lay reader with the big white handkerchief once tied firmly across her eyes flames last scruple vanished well you see she began quite precipitously I did think it would be such fun to have a party a party all my own I mean a party just exactly as I wanted it no perish in it at all or good works or anything just fun and as long as mother and father had to go away anyway even through the blinding bandage the young eyes seemed to lift in a half wistful sort of a pill you see there's some sort of property involved she confided quite impulsively uncle Wally's making a new will there's a corn barn and a private chapel and a collection of Chinese lanterns and a piebald pony principally under dispute mother of course thinks we ought to have the corn barn but father can't decide between the Chinese lanterns and the private chapel personally she sighed I'm hoping for the piebald pony yes but this party prodded the lay reader oh yes the party quick and flame why have it in a deserted house questioned the lay reader with some incisiveness even with her eyes closely bandaged flame could see perfectly clearly that the lay reader was really quite troubled oh but don't you see it isn't exactly a deserted house she explained who lives here demanded the lay reader I don't know exactly admitted flame but the butler is a friend of mine and the butler is a friend of yours gasped the lay reader already if flame could only have seen it his head was cocked with sudden intentness toward the parlor door there is certainly something very strange about all this he said a bit hecticly I could have almost sworn that I heard a faint scuffle the horrid sound of a person strangling strangling giggled flame that is just the sound of Miss Flores girlish glee if she'd only be content to chew the corner of the piano cover but when she insists on hailing it too Miss Flora gasped the lay reader is this a madhouse Miss Flora is a a dog confided flame a bit coolly I neglected it seems to state that this is a dog party that I'm having dolls whence the lay reader will they bite only if you don't trust them confided flame but it's so hard to trust a dog that will bite you if you don't trust him found the lay reader it makes such a sort of a a vicious circle as it were vicious circle mused flame a bit absentmindedly no I don't think it's nice at all to call Miss Flora a vicious circle it was flames turn now to wince back a little I hate people who hate dogs she cried out abruptly oh I don't hate them lied the lay reader like a gentleman it's only that that you see a dog bit me once he confided with significant emphasis I bit a dentist once mused flame without any emphasis at all oh but I say Miss flame deprecated the lay reader that's different when a dog bites you you know there's always more or less question whether he was mad or not there doesn't seem to have been any question at all mused flame that you were mad did you have your heads sent off to be investigated or anything oh I say Miss flame implored the lay reader I tell you I like dogs good dogs I assure you I'm very very much interested in this dog party of yours such a quaint idea so so if I could be of any possible assistance he implored maybe you could be relaxed flame ever so faintly but if you're really coming to my party she stiffened again you've got to behave like my party why of course I'll behave like your party laugh lay reader there is a problem admitted flame five problems to be perfectly accurate for dogs and a cat in the wood shed and a cat in the wood shed echoed the lay reader quite idiotically the table is set a firm flame the place is already but I don't know how to get the dogs into their chairs they run around so they yell they jump they haven't had a helpful to eat you see since last night this time and when they once see the turkey I'm afraid they'll stampede it turkey quiz the lay reader who had dined that day on corn beef oh of course mush was what they were intended to have admitted flame piles and piles of mush extra piles of mush I should judge because it was Christmas day but don't you think mush seems a bit dull she questioned appealingly for Christmas day oh I did think a turkey would taste so good it certainly would conceded the lay reader so if you'd help me weedled flame it would be well worth staying blindfolded for for of course I shall have to stay blindfolded but I can see a little bit of the floor admitted though I couldn't of course break my promise to my mother by seeing you no certainly not admitted the lay reader otherwise murmured fame with a faint gesture towards the door I will help you said the lay reader where is your hand fumbled flame here attested the lay reader lead us to the dogs commanded flame now the captain of a ship genuinely obligated it would seem to go down with his ship if tragic circumstances so insist but he never so far as I ever heard felt the slightest obligation whatsoever to go down with another captain's ship to be martyred in short for any job not distinctly his own so Bertrand Lorello who for the calls he served wouldn't have hesitated an instant probably to be torn by hindu lions murdered by south sea cannibals fallen upon by a chapel spire trampled to death even at a church rummage sale saw no conceivable reason at the moment for being eaten by dogs at a purely social function even groping through a balsam sin of darkness with one hand clasping the really fingers of a lovely young girl this distaste did not altogether leave him this this mush that you speak he questioned quite abruptly with the dogs as as nervous as you say so unfortunately liable to stampede don't you think that perhaps a little mush surf first a good deal of mush I would say surf first might act as as a sort of anesthetic somewhere in the past I'm almost sure I have read that mush is sufficient in quantities you understand it is really quite a quite an anesthetic very palpably in the darkness he heard a single throaty swallow lead us to the mush said flame in another instant the door knob turned in his hand and the cheerful kitchen lamp light glitter of tinsel flare of red ribbons savor of foods smoked sharply on him oh I say how jolly cried the lay reader don't let me bump into anything begged the blindfolded flame still holding tight to his hand oh I say miss flame kindled the entrance lay reader it's you that look the jolliest all in white that way I've never seen you wear that to church have I this is a pinafore confided flame coolly a bungalow apron the fashion papers call it no I've never seen me wear this to church oh said the lay reader get the mush said flame the what? asked the lay reader it's there on the table by the window gestured flame please set all four dishes on the floor each dish of course in a separate corner ordered flame there is a reason and then opened the parlor door opened the parlor door questioned the lay reader no mere grammatical form of speech but a real query in the lay reader's mind well maybe I better conceited flame lead me to it roused into a frenzy by the sound of a stranger's step a stranger's voice the four dogs fumed and seet on the other side of the panel sniff sniff snort the red setter sucked at the crack in the door woof woof woof big wolfhound slam bang slash slap the dalmatians crisp weight yeep yeep yeep sang the bulldog hush dogs hush implored flame this is father's lay reader your lay reader contradicted the young men gallantly it was pretty gallant of him wasn't it considering everything in another instant four shapes with teeth in them hurdling through if flame had never in her life admired the lay reader she certainly would have admired him now for the sheer cold-blooded foresight which had presaged the inevitable reaction of the dogs upon the mush and the mush upon the dogs with a single sniff at his heels a prod of paws in his stomach the onslaughts warved and passed guzzlingly from four separate corners of the room issued sounds joy and fulfillment with an impulse quite surprising even to herself flame thrust both hands into the lay reader's clasp you are nice aren't you she quickened in an instant of weakness one hand crept up to the blinding bandage and recovered its honor as instantly oh I do wish I could see you sideflame you're so good looking even mother thinks you're so good looking does get awfully worked up of course about your amorous eyes does your mother think I've got amorous eyes ask the lay reader a bit tersely behind his spectacles as he spoke the orbs in questions softened and glowed like some rare exotic bloom under glass does your mother think I've got amorous eyes oh yes said flame and your father called the lay reader why father says of course you've got amorous eyes confided flame with the faintest possible tinge of surprise that even being asked such a question that's the funny thing about mother and father chuckled flame they're always saying the same thing and meaning something entirely different by it why when mother says with her mouth all pursed up I have every reason to believe that mr. Lorello is engaged to the daughter of the rector in his former parish father just puts back his head and howls and says why of course mr. Lorello is engaged to the daughter of the rector in his former parish all lay readers in the sudden hush that ensued a faint sense of uneasiness flickered through flame shoulders is it you that have hushed or the dogs she asked said the lay reader very cautiously absolutely honorably flame turned her back to the lay reader and lifted the bandage just far enough to prove the lay reader's assertion bulging with mush the four dogs lay at rest on rounding sides with limp legs straggling or crouched like lions heads on paws with limpid eyes blinking above the yawning mouths croon flame how sweet only of course with what's to follow she regretted thriftily it's an awful waste of mush excelser warmed in the oven would have served just as well at the thread of a shadow across her eyeball she jerked the bandage back into place now mr. Lorello she suggested blightly if you'll get the bibles bibles stiffen the lay reader bibles why really miss flame I couldn't countenance any sort of mock service even just for quaintness even for Christmas quaintness mock service puzzled flame bibles oh I don't want you to preach out of them she hastened perfectly and me a boy to explain all I want them for is to plump up the chairs the seats you see are too low for the dogs oh I suppose dictionaries would do she compromised reluctantly only dictionaries are always so scarce obediently the lay reader raked the parlor bookcases for plump up a bull books with real dexterity he built chemistries on sermons and ancient poems on cookbooks until the desired heights were reached for a single minute more flame took another peep at the table set a chair for yourself directly opposite me she ordered for sheer hilarious satisfaction her feet began to dance and her hands to clap and whenever I really feel obligated to look she sparkled you'll just have to leave the table that's all and now appraisingly her muffled eyes swept the shining vista perfect she triumphed perfect then quite abruptly the eager mouth wilted why why I'd forgotten the carving knife and fork she cried out in real distress oh how stupid of me arduously but without a veil she searched through all the drawers and cupboards of the Rattle Pain Kitchen a single alternative occurred to her you'll have to go over to my house and get them Mr. Lorello she said were you ever in my kitchen or my pantry no admitted the lay reader well you'll have to climb in through the window some way worried flame I've mislaid my keys somewhere here among all these dishes and boxes and the pantry she explained very explicitly is the third door on the right as you enter you'll see a chest of drawers open the second of them or maybe you better look through all of them only please please hurry imploringly the little head lifted if I hurry enough said the lay reader quite impulsively may I have a kiss when I get back a kiss hooted flame in the curve of her cheek a dimple opened suddenly well maybe said flame as though the word were wings the lay reader snatched his hat and sped out into the night end of this reading of peace on earth goodwill to dogs by Eleanor Holliwell Abbott this has been a LibriVox recording this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to find out how you can volunteer please visit LibriVox.org peace on earth goodwill to dogs by Eleanor Holliwell Abbott this reading by Alison Hester of Athens, Georgia part two as though the word were wings the lay reader snatched his hat and sped out into the night it was astonishing how all the warm, healthy air seemed to rush out with him and all the shivery frost rushed back a little bit listlessly flame dragged down the bandage from her eyes it must be the creaks on the stairs that make it so awfully lonely all of a sudden argued flame it must be because the dog snore so no mere man could make it so empty with a precipitous nudge of the memory she dashed to the door and hello to the fast retreating figure oh Bertrand Bertrand she called I got sort of mixed up it's the second door on the left and if you don't find there you better go up in mother's room and turn out the silver chest hurry rallying back to the bright Christmas kitchen for the real business at hand and accusing blush rose to the young spot where the dimple had been oh shucks I kissed a bishop before I was five what's the lay reader as one humanely willing to condone the future as well as the past she rolled up her white sleeves without further introspection and dragged out from the protecting shadow of the sink the humpiest fox which had so excited her emotions at home in an earlier hour of the day crackling under her finger fingers the clumsy cover slid off exposing once more to her enraptured gaze the gay colored muslin layer of animal masks leering facuously up at her only with her hand across her mouth that she keep from crying out very swiftly her glance traveled from the grinning muslin faces before her to the solemn fur faces on the other side of the room the hand across her mouth tightened why it's something like creation she googled this having to decide which face to give to which animal as expeditiously as possible she made her selection poor miss flora must be so tired of being plain she thought I'll give her the first choice of everything something really lovely it can't help resting her with this kind idea in mind she selected from his flora a canary space softly yellow bland as a treacle its swelling tender muslin throat fairly reeking with the suggestion of innocent song no one gazing upon such an ornithological purity would ever speak a harsh word again even to a sparrow nudging miss flora cautiously from her sonora's nap flame beguiled her with half a donut to her appointed chair boosted her still cautiously to her pinnacle of books with a various swift adjustment of fasteners knotting of tie strings an extra breeding hold jab through the beak slipped the canary's beautiful blonde countenance over miss flora's frankly grizzled mug for a single terrifying incident miss flora's crinkled side tightened a snarl like ripped silk slipped through her straining lungs then once convinced that the mask was not a gas box she accepted the liberty with reasonable sang froid and sat blinking beatily out through the canary's yellow rimmed eye sockets with frank curiosity towards such proceedings as we're about to follow it was easy to see she was accustomed to sitting in chairs for the wolfhound flame chose a giraffe's head certain anatomical similarities seem to make the choice wise with a long vividly striped stockinette neck wrinkling like a moussa care glove the neat small head that so closely fitted his own neat small head the tweaked interrogative ears beautiful lovely the wolfhound reared up majestically in his own chair he also once convinced that the mask was not a gas box resigned himself to the inevitable incorporeal independent of such vain props as chemistries or sermons lulled his fine height against the mahogany chair back to blunder blot the trim domination flame assigned the parrot's head arrogantly beat gorgeously variegated all together quarrelous for lopsie the crafty setter she selected a white rabbit's artless pink-eared visage yet out of the whole box of masks it had been the bingo tigers fiercely be whiskered visage that had fascinated flame the most regretfully from its more or less nondescript companions she picked up the bingo tiger now and pulled at its real Bristol ears in one of the chairs a dog stirred quite irrelevantly cocking her own head towards the woodshed flame could not be perfectly sure whether she heard a twinge of cat or a twinge of conscience the unflinching glare of the bingo tiger only served to increase her self-reproach after all reason flame it would be easy enough to set another place and pile a few extra books I'm almost sure I saw a black plush bag in the parlor if the cat could be put in something like a black plush bag something perfectly enveloping like that so that not a single line of its its figure could be observed and it had a new head given on it a perfectly sufficient head like a bingo tiger I see no reason why in five minutes the deed was accomplished it's lovely sinuous figure reduced to the stolid contour of a black plush work bag its small uneasy head thrust into the roomy muslin cranium of the bingo tiger the astonished cat found herself slumping soggily on a great teetering pile of books staring down as best she might through the bingo tiger's ear at the weirdest assemblage of animals which any domestic cat of her acquaintance had ever been forced to contemplate coincidental with the appearance of the cat a faint little pass through the rest of the company nothing very much no more no less indeed than passes through any company at the introduction of purely extraneous matter from the empty plate which she had commandeered as a temporary pillow the yellow canary lifted an interrogative beak that was all at flames left the white-haired rabbit emitted an incongruous bark scarcely worth reporting at the table the giraffe thumped a white plummy dell thoughtfully the pirates hooked no slanted slightly to one side oh I wish Bertrand would come fretted flame maybe this time he'll notice my Christmas crossing sign she chuckled with sudden triumph to talk about surprises very diplomatically as she spoke she broke another donut in two and drew all the dog's attention to herself almost hysterical with amusement she surveyed the scene before her well at least we can have grace before the preacher comes she laughed a step on the gravel walk startled her suddenly in a flash she had jerked down the blind folding handkerchief across her eyes again and folding her hands and the donut before her burst softly into paraphrase now we sit us down to eat thrice our cheer of flesh and sweet if we should burst before we're through oh what in doldrum shall we do thus it was that the master of the house returning unexpectedly to his familiar domicile stumbled upon the scene that might have shaken the reason of a less sober man startled at first by the unwanted illumination from his kitchen windows and second by the unprecedented aroma of furball some that greeted him even through the keyhole of his new front door his feelings may well be imagined when groping through the dingy hall he first beheld the gallows like structure reared in the kitchen doorway my god he ejaculated beard is getting ready to hang himself gone mad probably or something curdled with horror he forced himself to the object only to note with convulsive relief but increasing bewilderment the cheerful phrasing and the ultimate intent of the structure itself Christmas crossing he repeated blankly look out for surprises shop cook and glisten with his hand across his eyes he reeled back slightly against the wall it is I that have gone mad he gasped a little uncertain whether he was afraid of what he was about to see or whether what he was about to see ought to be afraid of him he crammed his neck as best he could to round the corner of the huge buffet that blocked the kitchen vista a fresh bewilderment met his eyes where he had once seen cobwebs flapping greatly across the chimney breast loom now the gay worsted recommendation that dogs especially should be considered in the Christmas season throwing all caution aside he passed the buffet and plunged into the kitchen oh do hurry cried an eager young voice I thought my hair would be white before you came like a man paralyzed he stopped shorten his tracks to steer at the scene before him the long bright table the absolutely formal food a blindfolded girl a perfectly strange blindfolded girl with her dark hair 40 years this side of white begging him to hurry a black velvet bags are mounted by a tiger's head stirring strangely in a chair piled high with books seated next to the black velvet bag a canary as big as a turkey gobbler a giraffe stepping suddenly forward with with dog paws thrust into a soup plate a white rabbit heavily reed then holly rousing cautiously from his cushions a parrot with twitching black and white short-haired tail an empty chair facing the girl an empty chair facing the girl if this is madness thought Del Cote quite precipitously I am at least the master of the asylum in another instant with a prodigious stride he had slipped into the vacant seat so sorry to have kept you waiting he murmured at the first sound of that unfamiliar voice flame yanked the handkerchief from her eyes took one blank glance at the stranger and burst forth into a muffled but altogether blood curdling scream said the scream as though waiting only for that one signal to break the spell of their enchantment the canary leaped upward and grabbed the bingo tiger by his muslin nose the white rabbit sprang to point on the cooling turkey and the red and green parrot fell to the floor in a desperate effort to settle once and for all with the black spot that itched so impulsively on his left shoulder for a moment only in comparative quiet the concerns struggled with the concerns then true to all dog psychology absolutely indisputable absolutely unalterable the non-concerned leaped in upon the non-concerned half on his guard but wholly on his itch the jostled parrot shot like a catapult across the floor lost to all sense of honor or table manners the benign face giraffe with his benign face still towering blandly in the air burst through his own neck with a most curious anatomical effect locked his teeth and the parrot's gay throat and rolled him under the table in mortal combat round and round the room spun the yellow canary in the black plush bag retreating as best she could from her muslin nose the bingle tiger or rather that which was within the bingle tiger waged her war for freedom ripping like a chicken through its shell she succeeded at last in hatching one front paw and one hind paw into action wallowing, stumbling rolling, yowling she hump from mantelpiece to chair top and from box to table loyally the rabbit-eared setter took up the chase mauled in the scuffle he ran with his meek face upside down lost to all reason defiant of all morale he proceeded to flush the game dish pans clattered stools tipped over pictures banged on the walls from her terrorized perch on the back of her chair flame watched the fracas with dilated eyes hunched in the hug of his own arms the stranger sat rocking himself to and fro an uncontrollable choking mirth ribald mirth was what flame called it stop she begged stop it somebody stop it it was not until the black plush bag at bay had ripped a red streak down this floor as avid knows that the stranger rose to interfere very definitely then with quick deeds incisive words he separated the immediate combatants and ordered the other dogs into submission here you demon direful he addressed the white wolfhound drop that aryan he shouted to the irish setter cut it out john he thundered at the coach dog their names are beautiful lovely cried flame and lopsy and blunderblot with his hand on the wolfhands collar the stranger stopped and stared up with frank astonishment not to say resentment at the girls interference their names are what he said something in the special intonation of the question in the guriated flame maybe she thought his mouth was scornful his narrowing eyes goodness knows what she thought of his suddenly narrowing eyes in an instant she had jumped from her retreat to the floor who are you anyway she demanded how dare you come here like this budding into my party and in spoiling my discipline with the dogs who are you I say with demon direful alias beautiful lug lovely tugging wildly at his restraint the stranger scornful mouth turned precipitously up instead of down who am I he said why no one's special at all except just the master of the house huh what gasp flame Earl Delcote the stranger with a little hand that trembled perfectly palpably flame reached back to the arm of the big car chair for support why but Delcote is an old man she gasped I'm almost sure he's old the smile on Delcote's mouth spread suddenly to his eyes not yet thank god he bowed with a panic stricken glance at doors windows cracks the chimney pipe itself flame sank limply down in her seat again and gestured towards the empty place opposite her have a have a chair she stammered great tears welled suddenly to her eyes oh I know I oughtn't be here she struggled it's perfectly awful I have it the slightest right not the slightest it's the the cheekiest thing that any girl in the world ever did but your butler said and he did so want to go away and and I did so love your dog and I did so want to make one Christmas in the world just exactly the way I wanted it and and mother and father will be crazy and and without a single glance at anything except herself the master of the house slipped back into his chair have a heart he said flame did not accept the suggestion with a very severe frown and downcast eyes she sat staring at the table it seemed a very cheerless table suddenly with all the dogs in various stages of disheveled finery grouped blatantly around their master's chair I can at least have my cat she thought my fateful cat in another instant she had slipped from the table extracted poor pus from a collider of pins in the back of the cupboard stripped the last shred of masquerade from her outraged form and brought her back growling and bristling from the arm of the highback's chair there said flame glancing up from this innocent triumph she encountered the eyes of the master of the house fixed speculatively on the big turkey I'm afraid everything is very cold she confided with distinctly formal regret not for anything laughed Del Cody quite suddenly would I have kept waiting if I had only known two spots of color glowed hotly in the girl's cheeks it was not you I was waiting for she said coldly no teased Del Cody you astonished me for whom then some incredible white who worse than late isn't going to show up at all heaven sent I consider myself how else could so little a girl manage so big of a turkey there isn't any carving knife whispered flame the tears were glistening on her cheeks now instead of just in her eyes a less observing man than Del Cody might have thought the tears were really for the carving knife what no carving knife he roared imperiously and the house guaranteed furnished very furiously he began to hunt all around the kitchen in the most impossible places oh it's furnished all right quivered flame it's just chock full of dead things pressed flowers and old plush bags and pressed flowers and pressed flowers great heavens grown Del Cody and I came here to forget dead things your butler said you had misfortunes murmured flame misfortunes rallied Del Cody I should think I had in a single year I've lost my health money most everything I own in the world except my man and my dogs they're good dogs testified flame and the doctor sent me here for six months persisted Del Cody before he'll even hear of my plunging into things again six months is a a good long time said flame if you turn the hymns we could make yellow curtains for the parlor in no time at all we stammered Del Cody mother said flame it's a long time since any dogs lived in the rattle pain house rattle rain house bridal Del Cody rattle pain house corrected flame a little bit worriedly Del Cody returned to his seat I shall have to rend the turkey instead of carpet he said rend it acquiesced flame in the midst of the rending a dark frown appeared between Del Cody's eyes these these guests that you were expecting he questioned oh stop cried flame dreadful as I am I never never would have dreamed of inviting guests this guest then frowned Del Cody was he oh you mean Bertrand flushed flame oh truly I didn't invite him he just butted in same as you same as I stammered Del Cody well floundered flame well you know what I mean and with peculiar intentness the master of the house fixed his eyes on the knotted white handkerchief which flame had thrown across the corner of her chair and is this Bertrand person so so dazzling he questioned that human eye may not look safely upon his countenance Bertrand dazzling protested flame oh no he's really quite dull it was only she explained with sudden friendliness it was only that I promised mother not to see him so of course when he butted in I oh relax the master of the house with a precipitous flippancy of manners which did not conform at all to the somewhat tragic austerity of his face he snatched up his knife and fork and thumped joyously on the table with the handles of them and some people talk about a country village being dull in the wintertime he chuckled with a dog's masquerade and a robbery at the rectory all happening in the same evening grabbing her cat in her arms flame jerked her chair back from the table hey a robbery at the rectory she gasped why why I'm the rectory I must go home at once oh shucks shrugged the master of the house it's all over now but the people at the railroad station were certainly buzzing about it as I came through buzzing about it articulated flame with some difficulty expeditiously the master of the house resumed his rending of the turkey are you really from the rectory he questioned how amusing well there's nothing really you could do about it now the constable and his prisoner are already on the way to the county seat wherever that may be and a freshly burgled house is rather a creepy place for a young girl to return to all alone your parents are our way I believe constable babbled flame quite idiotically yes the regular constable was off christmasing somewhere it seems so he put a substitute on his job a stranger from somewhere some substitute that no mulling over hot toddies on christmas night for him he saw the mariter crawling in through the rectory window he saw him fumbling now to the left now to the right all through the front hall he followed him up the stairs to a closet where the silver was evidently kept he caught the man red handed as it were or rather white handed flushed the master of the house for quite some unaccountable reason to be perfectly accurate he explained conscientiously he was caught with a pair of of delicately he spelled out the word with a pair of c o r s e t s rolled up in his hand but inside the roll it seemed there was solid silver very elaborate carving set on which the parish had recently presented the wretch was just unrolling it them when he was caught that was Bertrand said flame my father's lay reader it was the man's turn now to jump to his feet he cried I sent him for the carving knife said flame what? repeated the man consternation versus hilarity went racing suddenly like a cat and dog combat across his eyes yes said flame from outside the door the sound of furious knocking occurred suddenly that sounds to me like like parents knocking quivered flame it sounds to me like an escaped lay reader said her host with a single impulse they both started for the door don't worry little girl whispered the young stranger in the dark hall I'll try not to quivered flame they were both right it seemed it was parents and the lay reader all three breathless all three excited they reproachful they swept into the warm balsam scented rattle pain house with a gust of frost a threat of disaster flame sighed her father flame scolded her mother flame implored the lay reader what a pretty name being the master of the house pray be seated everybody he gestured graciously to the left and right shoving the dog expeditiously under the table with his foot while he yanked another out of a chair with his least gesticulating hand this is certainly a very great pleasure I assure you he affirmed distinctly to miss flamé and norris returning quite unexpectedly to my new house this lonely Christmas evening he explained very definitely to the reverend flamé and norris I can't express to you what it means to me to find this pleasant gathering of neighbors waiting here to welcome me and when I think of the effort you must have made to get here Mr. portrayant he beamed a young man of all your obligations and complications pleasant gathering of neighbors questioned mrs. norris with some emotion oh I forgot deprecated the master of the house with real concern your Christmas season is not of course as inherently pleasant as one might wish I was told at the railroad station how you and Mr. norris had been called away by the illness of a relative we were called away confided mrs. norris with increasing asperity called away at considerable inconvenience by a very sick relative to receive the present of a piebald pony oh goody quick inflame and collapsed again under the weight of her mother's glance and then came this terrible telephone message shuttered her mother the implied dishonor of one of your father's most trusted most trusted associates I was right in the midst of such an interesting book deplored her father an uncle walley wouldn't lend it so we borrowed uncle walley's new automobile and started right for home it was at the junction that we made connections with the constable and his prisoner his victim intercepted the lay reader coldly at this interception everybody turned suddenly and looked at the lay reader his mouth was twisted very slightly to one side it gave him a rather unpleasant snarling expression if this expression had been vocal instead of muscular it would have shocked his hearers your father had to go on board the train and identify him persisted flames mother it was very distressing the constable was most unwilling to release him your father had to use every kind of argument every kind used her father he doesn't even deny being in the house continued her mother being in my closet being caught with a a carving knife and fork in his hand intercepted the lay reader hastily yet all the time he persists frown flames mother that there is someone in the world who can give a perfectly good explanation if only he won't say he or she but it if only it would something in the stricken expression of her daughter's face brought a sudden flicker of suspicion to mother's eyes do you know anything about this do you flay is it remotely possible that after your promise to me your sacred promise to me the whole structure of the home of mutual confidence of all the future itself crackled and toppled in her voice to the lay reader's face and right through the lay reader's face to the face of the master of the house flames glance went homing and pulse with one elbow leaning casually on the mantle piece his narrowed eyes faintly inscrutable faintly smiling it seems suddenly to the young master of the house that he had been waiting all his discouraged years for just that glance his heart gave the queerish jump flames face suddenly turned very pink like a person in a dream she turned back to her mother there was a smile on her face but even the smile was the smile of a screaming person no mother she said I haven't seen Bertrand today why you're looking at him right now protested her exasperated mother with a gentle murmur of descent flames father stepped forward and laid his arm across the young girl's shoulder she may be looking at him he said but I'm almost perfectly sure that she doesn't see him why whatever in the world do you mean demanded his wife whatever in the world does anybody mean if only there was another woman here a mature same woman a with a flare of accusation she turned from flame to the master of the house this miss flora that my daughter spoke of where is she I insist on seeing her please summon her instantly crossing genially to the table the master of the house reached down and dragged out the bulldog by the brindled scruff of the neck the scratch on her nose was still bleeding slightly and one eye was closed this is miss flora he said indignantly flames mother glanced at the dog and then from her daughter's face to the face of the young man again and you call that a lady she demanded not technically admitted the young man for an instant a perfectly tense silence reigned then from under a shadowy basket the cat crept out shining sinuous with extended paw and began to pat a sprig of holly cautiously along the floor yielding to the reaction flame bent down suddenly and hugging the wolf hound's head to her breast buried her face in the soft sweet shagginess not sanitary mother tested why there is sanitary as violence as though dreaming he were late to church and had forgotten his vestments flames father reached out nervously and draped a great string of ground pine stole like about his neck we all broke in the master of the house quietly relevantly seemed to have experienced a slight twinge of irritability the past few minutes hunger I've no doubt so suppose we all sit down together to this sumptuous if somewhat chilled repast after the soup certainly even after very cold soup all explanations I'm sure will be cheerfully and satisfactorily exchanged miss flame I know has a most amusing story to tell and oh yes rallied flame and it's almost all about being blindfolded and sending poor Mr. Lorello so if by any chance Mr. Mr. Bertrand interrupted the master of the house a bit abruptly you happen to have the carving knife and the fork still on your person I thought I saw a white string hanging I have said the lay reader with his first real grin with great formality the master of the house drew back a chair and bowed flames mother to it then suddenly the red setter lifted a sensitive nose in the air and the spotted Dalmatian bristled faintly across the ridge of his back through the whole room it seemed was swept a curious cockney sense of something about to happen was it that a sound hushed or that a hush suddenly decided to become a sound with a little sharp catch of her breath flame dashed the window and swung the sash upward where once had breathed the drab dusty smell of frozen grass and mud quick and suddenly a curious metallic dampness like the smell of new pennies Mr. Del Cody she called in an instant his slender form silhouetted darkly with hers and the open window against the eternal mystery and majesty of a Christmas night and then the snow came end of peace on earth goodwill to dogs like Eleanor Holliwell Abbott this has been a LibriVox recording