 Mother, is Maxwell House the best coffee in the whole world? Well, your father says so, and your father knows best. Yes, it's Father Knows Best, transcribed in Hollywood, starring Robert Young his father, a half hour visit with your neighbors, the Anderson's, brought to you by Maxwell House, the coffee that's bought and enjoyed by more people than any other brand of coffee at any price. Maxwell House, always good to the last drop. Examination of the average American family, there's one attribute that stands out above the rest, the spirit of helpfulness that prevails at all times. The average American family is a team, really, with each member working in planning for the comfort and welfare of all the others. Take the Anderson's, for example. They're an average American family who live at 607 Maple Street in the average American city of Springfield. Stop in there at any hour of the night or day, and you'll find some member of the family trying desperately to help one or more of the others, like this. Father. 9, 16, 27. Father, are you busy? Yes, I'm very busy. 9, 16, 23. Because if you aren't, this will only take a minute, and it's very important. Betty, I just finished telling you. I'm very busy, and I haven't time to talk. 9, 16. You don't have to talk, Father. All you have to do is listen. All right, what is it? What? What do you want to talk to me about? Oh, do you know what I figured out? How to drive your father insane. How to save money. It's a wonderful idea. Well, just go upstairs and lie down for a while. It'll go away. But I'm serious, Father. All right, how do we save money this time? We eliminate Dr. Build. That's nice. How do we do that? Well, it's really very simple. Take me, for example. I'm allergic to all kinds of things. Animals, feathers. Washing dishes. Father. I'm sorry. I was just getting into the spirit of the thing. Go ahead. Well, I was talking to Janie Liggett, and she said... Goodbye, Betty. But I haven't even started to... Anytime you and that not-headed friend of yours get together, it costs me money. So if you don't mind... But this will save you, money, Father. We figured out that my allergies are entirely psychosomatic. No. Uh-huh. When I sneeze, it isn't really because I have hay fever or anything like that. It's a physical manifestation of a spiritual yearning that creates a mental block. In other words, you're not really allergic to anything. You're just a blockhead. Father. Isn't that what you said? I said, don't you understand, Father? If there's something I want more than anything else in the world and I can't have it, I sneeze. And if you get it, you'll stop sneezing. Uh-huh. And when you think of all the doctor bills you've had to pay. Now we're coming into the stretch. Just because you wouldn't let me have a strapless evening gown. Good grief. Do you mean this whole thing was another pitch for a strapless evening gown? Father, I'm trying to help you save money. You were sneezing before you were old enough to know what an evening gown was for. But Father, if you'll only listen. Betty, I promised your mother I'd go over the fall budget. And I've been trying for five minutes. But Janie Liggett says. I don't care about Janie Liggett. May I please go back to my budget? Jumping creepers. Psychosomatic manifestations. 9, 16, 23. Father. Betty, for the love of Pete. May I tell you one more thing, please? I suppose so. Janie Liggett saw guys and dolls. And there's a girl in that who sneezes all the time. Because she wants a strapless evening gown, I suppose. Oh, no. Because she wants to get married. You see, her name is Adelaide. And she's in love with Nathan Detroit. Fine. I hope they'll be very happy. But she isn't, Father. They've been engaged for 14 years. And the doctor tells her the whole thing is psychosomatic. And she'll keep right on sneezing until she and Nathan Detroit are married. All right, Betty. I give up. You mean I can have a strapless evening gown? No, you may marry Nathan Detroit. See what I mean? And this isn't a rare instance of family understanding. No, sir. There are others who try just as hard to be of genuine assistance to the head of the household, like this. 9, 16, 23, 28. Hiya, Dad. 37, 43, 45. Adding something up, huh, Dad? Bud, how would you like to run up to Alaska for the weekend? What would I do in Alaska? Well, just an idea. Say, Dad, speaking of money. Who said anything about money? I did. Just now, remember? I'm sorry. I guess I wasn't listening. What about money? How would you like to save some? If he wants to marry Nathan Detroit, I'll shoot him. What? Never mind. How am I going to save money this time? On food. It's very expensive, you know. I know. I've been trying to break myself of the habit for years. Oh, I don't mean you. I mean me. You are going to give up food? Well, not entirely. That's a relief. I figured out how come I always eat so much. And you know why? You've got three stomachs. I get too much exercise. There's only one thing I am sure of. He doesn't want his trapless evening gown. But I've got to finish this budget. So let's cut out all the trimmings and get down to cases. What does your overabundance of exercise have to do with saving me money? Well, it's like this. If you ride a bicycle, you have to keep pumping up and down all the time. That gets you hungry, and you have to eat. But? But if you'd buy me a gasoline scooter. 9, 16, 28, 37, 43, 45. All you do on a gasoline scooter is sit. And how can you get hungry just sitting? Somehow I have the feeling you'd manage. Besides, in three years, I'll be 18. And that's too old to ride a bicycle. But if you don't want to ride a bicycle, you can take the bus to school. But I have to take two buses. And that's very expensive and very fattening. I don't get it. Well, gosh, while you're waiting for the second bus, there's nothing to do but eat. But? You have to wait almost 20 minutes. And do you know how many hamburgers you can eat in 20 minutes? But let's put it this way. You are not going to get a gasoline scooter. Not even the one that Stevie Long's father is practically giving away? Not even that one. Gosh, you can hardly even notice the place where it ran into the sledgehammer. But if you don't, what sledgehammer? The one Mr. Long was holding. Mr. Long was holding a sledgehammer, and the scooter ran into it? That's what he said. And he's willing to sell it for only $85. $9.60. And they cost over $100 news. Look at the money you'll be saving. You save more than $50. Yes, sir, all for one and one for all. That's the American family. Even the baby, an innocent little angel like Kathy Anderson, for example, does her bit to remedy father's endless problems like this. $9.16. $23.28. Hello, Daddy. It isn't possible. It just isn't possible. What you doing? I'm trying to add a column of figures. And I've been trying to add the same column of figures for the last 15 minutes. Want me to help? No. I mean, no, thank you. I'll do it much better if people will just stop trying to help me. $9.16.23. $28.37. Daddy? Kathy, I just finished telling you. But I have to ask you something. All right, kitten. What is it? Do you sleep well at night? Why? Because I know how you can sleep better. You do, huh? Uh-huh. All you have to do is get rid of your guilt complex. My what? Your guilt complex. That's what I thought you said. That means you're doing something you're ashamed of so you can't fall asleep and you just lie there and worry about it. Tell me, kitten, precisely what am I worrying about? Well, you see, everybody in my class gets an allowance of $0.50. Oh. And you only give me $0.35. So I lie awake nights and worry. Wanted to give me another $0.15 a week. And, Kathy, for your information, I sleep like a babe. But if you only give me $0.35, Sam. And furthermore, please tell your sister to keep her psychiatric experiments out of my pocketbook. Betty didn't have anything to do with it. But if you want to keep on suffering from a guilty complex. How would you like to suffer from a spanking complex? Don't blame me if what? I said, how would you like to suffer? Excuse me, Daddy. I just remembered something I have to do. Fine. See if you can't remember a lot of things to do after that. Complexes. Gee whiz. You think $0.15 was so important. But. What's the matter? Give me back my dime. It didn't work. Well, I guess that takes care. Oh, we almost forgot Mother. She's helpful too, but in a rather different sort of way. Like this. I've been over the whole budget, Margaret, and it's entirely out of line. Why, Jim. I know food is expensive, and we've got to figure on the other things. But well, look at this. Children's clothing, $350. You have three growing children going back to school. And if you think for one minute. Why can't we buy clothes for less than $350? All they need is a couple of pairs of shoes and some coats and things. That's all. Why, when I was a boy, my father used to hit the ceiling if my clothes for the whole year cost over $50. I know, dear. But you could always hide in the back of the covered wagon. Very funny. I'm sorry, Jim. But if you knew how I struggled with that budget. You did a wonderful job, honey. But look, it's only $200 out of the way. And I thought if we could take it out of the kids' clothes. $200? You mean you expect me to buy clothes for all three of them for $150? Well, that's $50 a piece. What's wrong with that? People all over the country are outfitting their kids for $50 a head. I know, but unfortunately, our children are not going to buy clothes for $150. I know, but unfortunately, our children also have bodies and feet. Well, suppose you tell me how we're going to get $200. Why do we suddenly need $200? Why? I thought the budget was all set. Well, it was. But you know how it is. Things come up and taxes and unforeseen emergencies. And look, why don't we do it this way? Suppose this year I supervise the purchase of clothing. Oh, Jim, don't be ridiculous. What's ridiculous about that? If I can get the kids all fixed up for $150, then we'll have the $200 left over for what? For what I was telling you. Taxes and unforeseen emergencies. That's it. Well, it's certainly worth trying, isn't it, honey? And you'll come along to check on everything. So what can you lose? My grandmother, Williams, once knew a man who didn't want to lose money on the horse races, so he made nothing but mental bets. Come on, Gray. And all he lost was his mind. Honey, I promise you everything's going to work beautifully. Well, I wish I could be that sure, but I'm only a mother. And father knows best. Mother's going to buy all the children's clothes for $150. Well, there's no harm in trying. After all, that's the only way to find out if you're right or not. I know that's how it is with lots of folks when it comes to buying coffee. You go along trying this kind and that till one day you pour yourself a fragrant steaming cup of our Maxwell House coffee. And that does it. Right off, you ask, what makes this big difference? Why is it only Maxwell House has this wonderful good to the last drop flavor? Well, there's a reason, all right. And this is it. No other coffee tastes like Maxwell House because no other coffee is made like Maxwell House. You see, there are all kinds of coffee beans, and they're put together all kinds of ways. But the Maxwell House people buy the finest, extra flavorful varieties. From the remote, mile-high mountain plateaus of Latin America, they select Choice Bucaramangas coffee for fine, full body, superb manizales for fragrant mellowness, medallins for extra richness, and others for vigorous, whiny flavor. And only Maxwell House knows how to blend them all together to create the one coffee with that good to the last drop flavor. What's left for me to say? Only this. If really good coffee makes your day a better one, I hope you'll try our Maxwell House. This weekend at your grocers, look for the sign of good coffee, the big white cup and drop on our familiar blue tin of Maxwell House. It's the one coffee that's always good to the last drop. There's one thing you've got to say about fathers. They may not be as pretty as mothers, but they certainly don't know as much about shopping. Wait a minute. They may not be. Well, anyway, it's Saturday afternoon, and the Andesons are deep in the heart of their shopping expedition. If you want them, they can be found on the third floor of Gorman's department store, where you can also find women's and Mrs. lingerie, dresses, coats, millinery, and yard goods. Third floor, anyone? Are the children's coats on this floor? Yes, ma'am. Third aisle over. Thank you. Going up, please. He was a nice young man, wasn't he? Oh, I don't know. Kind of shifty in the eyes, I thought. I didn't think his eyes were shifty at all. That's because he was shifting them around at you. Kathy. Oh, wasn't he? Never mind, dear. Holy cow, dad. There's nothing up here but girls junk. It isn't junk. Why can't I wait for you in the sporting goods department? You'll stay right here where we can keep an eye on you. Do I have to walk past all that underwear and everything? It isn't going to hurt you, bud. Just close your eyes and walk. Holy cow. Mother, look at those nylon slips. Aren't they gorgeous? Yes, dear, and very expensive. Ooh, what I'd give for something like that. I didn't ask for anything expensive. All I wanted was $0.15 a week, and if she gets a nylon slip. She isn't getting a nylon slip. And if you don't stop, bud, if you're walking into, will you please open your eyes? You said to keep them closed. Margaret. Behave yourself, bud. Yes, ma'am. Anyone with two sisters has to get used to seeing things like that. Everybody's got somebody, and all I've got is sisters. Bud. Can I help you? I don't think anybody can help him. Of all the- We'd like to see some coats, please. Of course, if you'll step right over here. We're looking for a simple, inexpensive coat for my younger daughter. I see. Something warm and serviceable for around $10 or $12. All right. And what shade of burlap did you have in mind? Burlap? Jim, I told you in the very beginning. I don't want to wear a coat made out of burlap. Why don't I just go down to the sporting goods department? You stay where you are. Is it all right if I look at the nylon slits? And you too. I just wanted to touch them. Margaret, how do you expect me to accomplish anything if you keep undermining me with the children? Why, Jim, I haven't said a word. That's what I mean. Why don't you say something and make them behave themselves? Yes, dear. Children, lie down. We're in a gay mood. But this whole thing is so ridiculous, Jim. Everybody knows you can't buy a coat for $10. All right, $15. May we please see some of your coats? No. Yes, now? Well, here's a charming little thing. It's one of our most popular numbers, and I'm sure it will look adorable on the little angel. Doesn't she know it's for Kathy? Oh, please. Go ahead, Kathy, try it on. Is it burlap? Stop talking and try it on. She wears. There. Isn't that charming? Hold your head up, Kathy. It's all wool doubly interlined, and it sells for only $39.95. $30. Take it off, Kathy. I just put it on. Well, take it off. Jim. $40 for a coat. It's an outrage. Of course we do have cheaper models. It's a nerve of them. $40 for that. It doesn't have over a yard of material in it. It is not the material, sir. It's the workmanship. Well, we'll go someplace where they've got sloppier workmen. They just won't lose your temper. I'm not losing my temper. $40 for a coat. Dad. Look at it, not even a whistle. When I was a kid, coats were five bucks a piece, and they came with a whistle. Speaking of whistles, are you interested in a coat for the older girl? Dad. Yes, we're definitely interested in a coat for the older girl. Better known as Berlach Bula. Betty, one more word out of you. I'm sorry, Father. Well, if you'll step into our college dev department, I'll show you some of our back-to-school models. Dad. What happened to my coat? You'll get a coat, dear, later. Why can't I get one now? Because I've only made two trips to Fort Knox. Oh. Dad. But why don't you? What is it? Why don't I wait for you in the sporting goods department? Because you're going to wait here. That's what I thought. Here we are. Now, isn't this lovely? Mother, it is. It's just lush. It's probably very expensive, dear. Oh, not at all. It's only $66.50. $66.50? Jim. $66.50 for one coat? Don't forget, sir. This is a fine imported material. You just said the material didn't count. It was the workmanship. That was in the other department. Did you hear that, Margaret? They've got different systems for different departments. I know, dear. Hey, hey, Jim. Mother, there's Mr. Davis. I wonder what. Jim, it's Ed Davis. They haven't even the decency. Uh-oh. Yeah, I've been looking all over the store for you. Hello, Margaret. Hello, Mr. Davis. Ethel told me I'd find you down here. Can't it wait, Ed? We're very busy picking out coaches. Quite, yeah. I've held him off as long as I can, and he wants to know right now. But I don't know yet. You don't know what, Jim? I've got to call him back in five minutes and tell him definitely yes or no. Tell him we'll call him back tomorrow. I told him that, and he said he wouldn't wait. Why don't I wait in the sporting goods? But, Mr. Parkman? Ed, will you please tell me what this is all about? It isn't anything, honey. We were just told you about the boat? Boat? Here we go. What boat? Well, Jim and I were going partners on a boat, but he has to dig up an extra $200. $200! Oh, about that. Oh, he does, does he? Margaret, I can explain the whole thing. You take the clothes right off your children's back for a boat. What kind of a boat, Dad? Honey, if you'll only listen. Well? What? What'll I tell him? He says he's got six other buyers waiting for the boat right now. What kind of a boat, Dad? Margaret. Don't even talk to me. Ed, maybe we're making a mistake. If it's such a good boat, why does he want to sell it? He didn't want to sell it. I practically had to plead with him. But why all the hurry? Because he's liable to change his mind. Oh, Jim, I tell you, the boat is an absolute steal. Well, see if you can't stall him for one more day. Oh, I'll call him again. But I don't know why I get mixed up in things like this. Honey. After 18 years, the things you find out about people. Honey, don't look at me like that. I was doing it for all of us. What kind of a boat, Dad? But why don't you go down to the sporting goods department? I want to stay here. Oh, I don't know anything. Well, I do. I know exactly what to think of a man who'd sacrifice his children for a boat. Honey, I told you they were going to get their clothes first. Coats for $5. I never said that. With a whistle. Keep out of this. Well, I got tired of just standing here. Coat made out of burlap. I've got plenty of clothes. Really, we have. You're not going back to school looking like a bunch of ragamuffins. Of course they aren't. We'll take the $40 coat for Kathy. We will not. We can't afford it. We can't afford it. I'll throw in my cigarette money. I smoke too much anyway. I want a coat made of. Stop it. Will you take it with you? Yes, and wrap up that $66.50 job, too. Father, you won't be able to get the boat. We don't need a boat. What kind of a boat, Dan? Any kind of a boat. Will that be cash or a charge? It won't be either. We're not taking them. We are taking them. They look like very nice coats. But it's over $100 for just two coats, and the budget figure's on only $75. Well, I'll throw in my bowling money. I don't have to bowl. Father, you never buy anything for yourself. Not even a burlap coat. We're being very selfish. You aren't being selfish. I want my children to have the best of everything. That's all. How about the boat? Coats are more important than boats. If you'd like to pay for them now. Just a minute. Jim, I think the children are right. Oh, you do, do you? Since when are- what? You're wearing the same coat you've had for almost 10 years, aren't you? Well, I like it. And if you want a boat, we want you to have it. I don't want a boat. I want a coat. I mean, I want the children to have their coats. Jim, I know you wouldn't have gone through all this if the boat hadn't meant a great deal to you. Oh, it isn't important, honey. I just thought that for vacations and things, and Ed says it's a wonderful buy, and it's a real sturdy boat. They even call it the Rock of Gibraltar. If you'd like to pay for the coats, we're not going to take them. We've got to, Margaret. You said they'd look like a bunch of ragamuffins. Oh, they won't look bad at all. We'll let out a few more hems and make a few little adjustments. You can cut my allowance to a quarter if you want to. Oh, I don't know, honey. Do you think it'll be all right? Of course it'll be all right. Who needs a coat when they can have a boat? Gosh, they're even better than gasoline scooters. You don't want the coats, huh? We're buying the Rock of Gibraltar instead. Hot dog. Hey, Jim. Oh, did you get him, Ed? Yeah. I got him. Well, it's all settled. We're going to get a boat. It's all settled, all right. The Rock of Gibraltar just sank. This weekend, how will you choose the coffee you buy for your family? So many brands. How can you pick the one coffee that gives you the most in flavor for your money? Well, on your grocer's shelves, there is one coffee, our Maxwell House coffee, that's famous for flavor above all others. And tomorrow, your family can tell you why. Yes, tomorrow, serve that family of yours the rich, satisfying goodness of our Maxwell House coffee. When they give you their warmest smiles and say, best coffee ever, you'll know why Maxwell House is famous for flavor. And when you count all the cups of truly good coffee you get from that one pound, well, you'll know it's Maxwell House for value, too. Tomorrow, then, for truly good flavor for today's best coffee buy, look for the sign of good coffee, the big white cup and drop on our friendly blue tin. That's Maxwell House, the coffee that's always good to the last drop. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Robert Young. Again this season, Father Knows Best will join the crusade to promote safe driving among our young people in cooperation with the Inter-Industry Highway Safety Committee. Mr. Cody Fowler, President of the American Bar Association has pledged the cooperation of members of the association and all traffic court judges and prosecutors in the United States. These men know that increased respect for traffic laws is the best way toward a nation of better drivers of all ages. And through just and intelligent enforcement of these laws, they are constantly working toward that goal. We will have more interesting news on the campaign and your part in it in a few weeks. Meanwhile, if you would like to participate in the Robert Young Good Drivers Club through signing a man-to-man or dad-to-daughter agreement, just write to me, Robert Young, at this NBC station. Good night. Join us again next week when we'll be back with Father Knows Best, starring Robert Young as Jim Anderson, with Roy Bargy and the Maxwell House Orchestra. In our cast, where Dorothy Lovett as Margaret, Rhoda Williams, Ted Donaldson, Norma Jean Nielsen, Isabel Jewel, Barney Phillips, and yours truly, Bill Foreman. So until next Thursday, good night and good luck from the makers of Maxwell House, America's favorite brand of coffee, always good to the last drop. Father Knows Best was transcribed in Hollywood and written by Ed Jane. This is NBC, the national broadcasting company.