 نحن قمنا بوضع الثلاث الآخر من today's episode و كما يجب أن نساعد مجموعة من مجموعة الوصول من أصدقائنا مرحباً شكراً لكم شكراً لكم مرحباً شكراً لكم شكراً لكم مرحباً مرحباً و نحن نبحث عن الثلاثة و أعتقد أننا سنأخذ بعض your time لتحدث عن الأشياء الأكثر كما نتكلم، هذه الموضوع is really covering some miscellaneous topics that aren't really talked about much in society maybe it's because let's keep it hush-hush or maybe it's because people are uneducated about it أعتقد أن أساسي أشياء الأكثر التي نملك في Our Society is actually upbringing بحيث أن أساسي أساسي أساسي و أساسي و أساسي لأساسي من مجانات الإنتباء لأننا أساسي لا Driver came from a certain country and they were taught in a certain way but they came into this country and this country they teach their children in a different way and there's a mix of societies here and it's hard for the parents to keep hold of their children but at the same time they need to really let go a bit because they need to get into society it's a difficult issue it has touched And so I guess we wanted to discuss it و لكن أيام أعتقد أن기도 أننا أعرف أن عملينا يجب أن نكون أصدقائي من أمامنا كيف أصدقائنا قدما تجدنا؟ لأننا لا يجب أن نكون أصدقائي من أصدقائي من أصدقائي لذا نجد أن نذهب إلى أعلى أخي فهم شكرا شكرا لك أن تساعدني أتحفظ أتحدث معك عن هذا الأمر مهم ومشكلة أصدقائي من الممتع الإسلام لأنه قد تشعر على هذا الموضوع جدًا جدًا يجب أن يتكلم كل الأشياء المختلفة ويجب أن يتكلمنا الأشياء في المفتوح لذلك أخبرنا من المجموعة من المجموعة إلى أن نرى كيف المجموعة أو أهل البيت الممتعين من أهل البيت الممتعين وقاموا بسيطة أهل البيت الممتعين لذا الحمد لله أهل البيت الممتعين والشيعة لأنهم لن ينقلون بحيث أن الإسلام as a religion أخبرهم أو أخبرهم كيف أخبرهم أريد أن أبدأ مع هذه الممتعين بأن الإسلام as a holy prophet يقول رحم الله و أبوين أعانا أبناءهما أو في أخر الممتعين و لدهما على بالرهما الله سبحانه وتعالى سنقوم بسيطة أهل البيت الممتعين ورحمه على أبناء أو أبناء أن يساعد و يساعد أبناءهم لأن في الوقت هناك أبناء who unfortunately get up to certain acts or deal with their children or behave in a certain way towards their children that the child looks at them in a negative way and once they look at them in a negative way they start doing wrong things they start making mistakes and the parent tends to see that okay this child is making a mistake what was the reason? I wasn't the reason because I'm the parent I'm trying to teach this child but what they fail to realize is that because of my way of speaking to them or because of the way I am behaving towards them they have committed such an act so Allah سبحانه وتعالى through the holy prophet says Allah will bring down his blessings upon the parent that helps and supports their child to obey the parent same wise there is another narration that says that Allah سبحانه وتعالى will bring down his wrath upon the parent that commits an act that the child will disobey them so I was going to say what we're all parents here and we've all had our own experiences but in terms of people that are raising young children what is the way of Ahubayt the holy prophet in raising their children because we have these debates about beating your child and the discipline levels what was the path of Ahubayt again أهل البيت عليهم السلام and Islam in general they have come and divided the years or the age the years of the child into three different categories Sayyid on سبع سنين ووزير on سبع سنين وصديق on سبع سنين so Islam comes and says that he is a king for himself from the day that he is born until seven years whatever he wants you have to give him whatever he says you have to say yes sir this is the way Islam wants you to teach this child why because this child has not reached that mental aspect for you to come and say right wrong do this don't do that he sees toys he wants to play he cannot distinguish between right and wrong so the second seven years he's a wazir you have to come and start advising him or the parent is a wazir to them that you as a wazir to a master or a king how do you advise them you see them committing certain acts you have to advise them you see them doing certain things come to them with a nice manner sit down befriend them it's a very important issue that the parents understand it at some stage of the child their son or daughter's life they have to step backwards from the aspect from the frame of being a parent and step inwards to becoming a friend so because a friend sometimes as we were discussing a friend sometimes can affect or have a positive impact on the life of that child more than the parent and as we know it's also challenging isn't it I know you're going to go to the next stage but it is challenging in these countries where children are talked to if your parents speak to you call support line it's not like how it is in the eastern side these are all things that parents have to consider so while you're saying the second stage is the wazir where do parents draw a line when that child is crossing certain lines and speaking back and being disobedient perhaps you wouldn't as a parent want to be spoken to of course if the parents themselves they stick to the guidelines that Islam has set for them they will never fall into areas where the child will feel they need to call the support services and get help from outside the house but it's only that time that the parent commits that mistake that the child sees okay this is a mistake so where does the parent or how do the parents distinguish or draw the red line in regards to the behavior of the child and of course the community or the society they will understand that this is the parent who is trying to educate and they want the good for the son or daughter it's when they come to commit acts which endangers their life and the life of the family or they want to go outside the house and befriend individuals who are dangerous to them and to the family or take for example attend events attend programs or eat certain foods or drinks they don't know that this is negative or this is bad for them but the parent distinguishes but it's always very important that you don't use force or pressure to educate your children how would then the difference be between the genders and because of course from our perspective the boys have seen it looks like they are allowed to do what they want when they want they have to be home at a certain time they can go out with their friends they pay football whatever they want they can do but when it comes to the girl there are so many different measures that are put in place if she wants to go out it has to be once a month she has to be with certain people her parents have to go with her so is that a cultural thing or does Islam actually place a difference between the discipline between the genders of a male and a female again, we have a story from أهل الميت that says الميت رحمة والولد نعمة فالرحمة يثاب عليها الله سبحانه وتعالى يقول that the female is a blessing from me to you and you will be rewarded on that blessing and the son the male is a is a نعمة is a nعمة that I will ask you for this nعمة so the way that you bring up the son specifically needs to be in a way that he when he grows up he has to understand the responsibilities that fall upon him and how he is going to be required to get up to certain acts that the whole community will rely on but in the case of the female if we go back a little bit in time in history we see how in times of of جاهل the pre-islamic era how they used to deal with the male and how they used to look here islam came and emphasized that the female is very important that the community and the family the immediate family look up to the female as they look up to the male because they used to see that the male is something positive in the clan in the tribe they grow up they become strong their power against other tribes other clans they go out they fight they work they bring food they bring money but the female this is wrong islam came and emphasized that the half of the community is the male and half of the community is the female the female has a responsibility so here the parents they should be very careful once they are in that process of bringing up their children especially when they have siblings when they have children male and female that are the same age because they always look how is my mother or how is my father speaking to my brother are they speaking to me the same way or when they bring gifts or when they bring for example something especially the daughter when the father comes from outside she is the first one that comes and receives the father I have experienced this myself I have a 4 year old a daughter and I have a 11 to 12 year old son they are occupied I'm not saying that they electing their rice they are occupied with doing something but that is the 4 year old she's very young but she understands she comes to the door and she says daddy she welcomes she receives in her own way I think for a daughter her father is the biggest role model in her life in terms of that love and I remember with my own father I was one and a half he would run to the door when he would arrive it's that natural instinct for a daughter so I'm not sure you are blessed to have that in your home so again Islam comes and says that the way that you bring up your son and daughter will show when they grow up if you have done a good job of bringing up that son and daughter especially by not letting them realize that you are differentiating between them of course the mother here Islam advises the parents to separate or to divide the responsibilities when it comes to upbringing the children if you have a daughter let the mother take care of that aspect of course the father is very important for him to have a place in her life but there are certain issues that the mother needs to take care of especially adolescence say yes of course and the son the father has to take care of the mother has to do her duties and her obligation towards the son but Islam comes and says okay there are some situations that you need to leave the mother to deal with and there are some situations no leave the father to deal with so Islam does divide the responsibilities but here there are no there are no levels as to or priorities to say that the female has less priority than the male at home or has more priority no Islam looks at the male and the female in the same way it's beautiful I think that I'm just going to touch on that you know it's and that's why it goes back to the family unit is so important because those children I've seen children that are opposite genders closer to the girl would be closer to a father before say 10 years old the boys will be perhaps mummies boys and then they get to adolescents and then they go towards and I've got friends that say my daughter doesn't even like you know she's with her dad and I said just wait till she's in her adolescence she will need you as a mother to guide her through that stage and boys need their fathers and that's why it's so important that families are kept together and I know it's a different issue it impacts your children and their future and like you said at the end when those children become young adults you can look back and see what went perhaps not right in their life that they became maybe damaged adults or you know not got the support from the parent that was perhaps absent or you know and I think as a community there's a lot of support required there for those children that perhaps of course their community in the society plays a very important role in their children at the time of Rasool Allah and Ahl al Bayt Rasool Allah educated the society in a way when they saw the son of a companion or the child of a companion doing certain things wrong they they intervened in a specific way in a specific manner or they they used to get up to certain acts that the children in the community or in the society would learn from that act and this was the case in the the early stages of our lives or our parents they lived in a community or a society back home where the community actually done what they were required to do because they realized that I as a friend or I as a shop owner that I am neighbor to that family I also have a responsibility to look after my friends or my neighbors son and daughter yeah if they used to notice that the son or daughter is getting up to mischief or wrongdoing they used to inform the parents or they used to come and deal with it in a specific way so here the community have to play their role that's a very important point actually because I think as parents you know you may be busy with work and you know home life and you don't always see what your children get up to so you do and I think it's really important to beautiful points you raised there yeah and I think the overall message I got from that was that treat your children love mercy and respect and inshallah with the guidance that I hope they have given us and you know that's well thank you so much I think as a three pillars of upbringing is the 777 I think that's perfect yes as a very sensitive issue that needs more time but unfortunately we run out of time 7 years as a king 7 years as a advisor and a 7 years friend friend that's when I need them no I'm okay I appreciate your time of course myself and Zahra I really appreciate your time and we appreciate the time of the viewers it's Friday so enjoy the day and enjoy your weekends and inshallah we'll see you in the next episode السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركات