 The Kraft Foods Company presents Harold Perry as the Great Gilder Sleeve. The Great Gilder Sleeve is brought to you by the Kraft Foods Company makers of Parquet Margarine. Millions of women all over America serve Parquet because it tastes so good. Why, Parquet tastes like it should cost twice as much. To market, to market, to get some Parquet. Home again, home again, try it today. You'll like it, you'll love it, like millions of space. Their favorite, Margarine. Parquet Margarine, made by Kraft. Who's the Great Gilder Sleeve? Knows that whenever a difficult situation presents itself, he can be counted upon for the right solution. So last week, when he found a six-month-old baby in his car, he didn't hesitate one minute to say, Wow, I better call my lawyer. Judge Hooker advised that Gilder Sleeve take the baby home with him temporarily. Well, temporarily. But as babies have a way of doing, the little one quickly worked her way into the great man's ample heart. And like the man who came to dinner, we find her still here for breakfast, seven days later. Boy, am I hungry. Leroy up in Adam, time to get up. Oh, look, it's still dark. It wouldn't be if you'd come out from under the covers. It's seven o'clock. Papa Robin has another mouth defeat. Can't wait to see the little tyke. Never saw a baby change so much from day to day. Marjorie, breakfast, hurry up with the bath. That's a baby. Baby? She's having her morning bath. Oh, it's you, Bertie. Didn't think baby learned to talk overnight. Gilder Sleeve, go back to our home and oil it up. That's all right, Bertie. Take your time. All right, George. There's nothing like having a little baby in the house. Keeps everybody on their toes. Guess I'll sit down and wait for breakfast. Good morning, Uncle Mark. Good morning, Marjorie. You're up early. And ironing. Well, I've been up since six o'clock. Why six? The baby slept in my room last night, remember? Oh, well, she could sleep in mine, Marjorie, but you know how quickly she picks up things. I wouldn't want the baby to learn to snore at six months. Oh, I really don't mind, Unkie. Of course, I haven't seen the crowd for a week. Well, my dear, when there's a new baby in the house, we all have to make sacrifices. Where's breakfast? She's up bathing the baby. Oh, yes. Well, I can wait. A man doesn't have much self-control if he can't wait 15 minutes for breakfast, I always say. Well, 15 minutes must be about up. At least since I came downstairs. I'll just step out and see if Bertie started anything. Good. There's something bubbling on the back of the stove. Smells like oatmeal. He boiled milk bottles. At least somebody's going to eat. Well, I may as well set out the eggs for Bertie. Anything to help. Hey, I wonder if you have any of those little canned sausages in the pantry. Strained spinach, strained string beans, strained liver, strained liver. Doesn't sound very good with eggs. Might make a little strained liver omelette. No. Bertie will be down in a minute. Gosh, wish she'd hurry. She can't expect a little kid to go off to school half-starved, can she? You might try it that way, Leroy. You haven't become a quiz kid on a full stomach. Well, not if I don't eat pretty soon on my faint. What if I stayed at right in class? Right in the middle of a arithmetic class. Hey, that's an idea. I forbid you to faint in arithmetic class. You can patiently wait for breakfast like the rest of us. Where is that Bertie? You see, Aunt, that's all we do around here since that baby came. Wait, wait, wait. Wait for breakfast, wait for the bathroom. No, my boy. Why doesn't she go home? Leroy, we don't know where her home is. That's why. Until we find her mother, baby's welcome to stay here as long as she likes. Let's remember that. And we'll all cooperate. That's all I do, cooperate. Maybe I would run back there and get some clothespins for baby. Yes, she'll come. Well, Bertie, I suppose we'll have a little breakfast now, eh? Yes, sir. Sorry, you haven't been waiting this year, please. Well, I am a little hungry. So is Bertie. I don't know how a 16-pound baby can weigh out a 160-pound woman, but I'm bushed. 160 pounds, Bertie. Well... Oh, that baby sure is a little darling. You ought to see her in there playing with her toes. Yes, she's pretty cute, all right, Bertie. I'll, uh, get out the eggs. And here's the iron, Bertie. You've got all that done already, Miss Marzers. Well, I want to go over to Francie's tonight. I've hardly been out of the house. That's a good idea, my dear. We've all been doing yeoman service since the baby came. Eggs, Bertie. But we must have our recreation, too. That's right, Mr. Gilles, please. I sure am glad it's my night off. Fine, you deserve it. Now, how about... What? Wait a minute. If you and Marjorie are both going out, who's going to stay with baby tonight? Oh... Stay with the baby? Why can't you stay? Me. The Jolly Boys are getting together. I need recreation, too. Why? What have you done for the baby? Well, I found her, didn't I? Not only that, I've... I've... I've... Marjorie. Women know how to take care of babies better than men. All right, unky. You go to your Jolly Boys meeting. I'll stay home if you're afraid to stay with the baby. Afraid? Who's afraid? I can take care of a baby as well as any woman. Why, thanks, Uncle Mort. What? Uh... See... Call me Uncle. Yes, Leroy. We men are going to stay with the baby tonight. Have a lot of fun. Gosh, I'll go practice. Coach's orders. Skull practice, eh? Yeah, you better go, all right. Why don't you ask Miss Fairchild to come over and help you sit with the baby? That would be nice, Mr. Gillslee. Yeah. You'd too like to sit in the parlor anyway and talk baby talk. It so happens, Marjorie, that... It so happens, Leroy, that... It so happens, everybody, that Miss Fairchild is not available. Her flower and garden club meets tonight. Besides, we don't sit in the parlor and talk baby talk. Leroy. I'm sorry. I haven't had my breakfast. Birdie, how about those eggs? You get trapped, trap somebody else. It's fine, morning. My? What's come over you bouncing in here like one of little Latiners' big fat schmooze? Just on my way to the office and stopped in to see you, Horace. Haven't been seeing enough of you lately. How'd you like to come over to my house tonight? But, Gildy, the fellas are getting together at the Jolly Boys, just to see you. I'm sorry. How'd you like to come over to my house tonight? But, Gildy, the fellas are getting together at the Jolly Boys tonight. Jolly Boys? Who wants to go up there? What? Judge, how long's it been since you and I got together for a friendly game of checkers? Well, it has been quite some time. We had a lot of fun, old friend. You're pretty good, but I'll bet I could beat you, you old rascal. Oh, no, you couldn't. Oh, yes, I could. Gildy, I've always beaten you, and I could do it tonight if we were playing, which we're not. And remember those delicious midnight snacks? Remember, Horace, that food? Gildy, I hope I haven't given you the impression that I was turning down your invitation. Oh, no. I pass up the Jolly Boys any time for some of Birdie's delectable cheese rabbit. Um, Birdie? One of the main reasons I like to come over is Birdie's cooking. But I won't be over, Gildy. What? Because I just happen to remember it's Birdie's night out. Just because you're stuck at home with a baby, you want to stick your friends. Well, that doesn't include you, Hooker. I wouldn't ask you to come over and help me take care of the baby ever. Now, Gildy, don't take that attitude. Why? Do you want to come over? No. Well, I wouldn't ask you. Goodbye, hungry old goat. He thinks I'm going to stay alone just because he's going up to the Jolly Boys Club. I'll invite the Jolly Boys over to my house. Oh, Pee-Vee. Oh, no, no, Mr. Jolly Seed. What can I do for you? Pee-Vee? I just got a great idea. You don't care? Yep. Pee-Vee? Pee-Vee, will you stop stacking that chewing gum and listen? Very well. That seems to be one of the reasons I'm here, Mr. Gildy, for you to listen to great ideas. Shoot. Well, how would you like it? That's one of the things I had to learn early in life. What? To be a good listener. Oh. Well, how would you like it? One thing you don't learn out of a book at pharmacy school. What's that? To be a good listener. Well, for heaven's sakes, listen then. How would you and the Jolly Boys like to meet over at my house? That might be nice sometime. What was your great idea? That's it. I'm inviting you fellows over to my house tonight. Oh. Sure. It so happens I'm staying home with a baby anyway. A baby? Yeah. We'll all have a lot of fun, Pee-Vee. Pass the baby around, let everybody hold it a little while. You'd like that, wouldn't you? No, no, I wouldn't say that. Women come in here every day with babies and expect musicator to them. Yeah, and I've seen you, Pee-Vee. You're great with babies. Well, infants do seem to kind of take to me. They just look at me and start to laugh. And when they start to cry, all I have to do is go woo-gee-woo-gee-woo-gee and they stop. Oh, does that work, Pee-Vee? Well, in severe cases, I sometimes get a toy off the shelf. Sell a few that way, too. Great. You'll be a handyman to have around the house, Pee-Vee. I'll expect your day tonight. Oh, well, thank you, Mr. Garrison, but I'm afraid I can't make it. What's this? I'm afraid I'll have to pass up the Jolly Boys tonight. Pee-Vee, you're just saying that. No, Mrs. Pee-Vee is saying it. What? Mrs. Pee-Vee's parrot has a pip. She's been after me to stay home and doctor it. Oh, my goodness, a parrot with a pip. Well, I see I can't count on the Jolly Boys. Well, of course, if the pip gets better, I could bring the bird over to your house. Don't give it a second thought, Pee-Vee. I'll stay with the baby alone. Goodbye. Back to the Great Gilder Sleeve in just a minute. You know, Birdie, who's pretty important in the Gilder Sleeve household, is a great booster for a certain delicious spread you've heard about. And I'll bet there are a lot of reasons she likes it. No, sir, Mr. Wall, I like parquet for one reason, because it tastes so good. Birdie, I can't argue with that. That parquet tastes like it should cost twice as much. Well, maybe our friends would like to know why. Parquet, which costs only about half as much as the most costly spreads, is prepared as carefully as a rare luxury food. Only selected products of American farms are used in making it. That's why parquet has such a sweet, light flavor and makes such a delicious topping for waffles, French toast, muffins, biscuits, as well as bread. And parquet nourishes you while pleasing your palate. Every pound's got all kinds of food value, plus 15,000 units of essential vitamin A. It tastes so good. That's why I'm a booster. It tastes like it should cost twice as much. So friends, ask for parquet tomorrow. As Birdie says, it tastes like it should cost twice as much. Parquet, P-A-R-K-A-Y, parquet margarine, made by Kraft. Well, you can't say the Great Gilder Sleeve didn't try to get out of staying home alone with the baby tonight. But now that the hour approaches, he faces it as only a great man can. Uh, look at the little cutie smile at me. Tickle, tickle, tickle. Does baby like that? Uh, goodbye, Margie. We'll have fun, won't we, baby? We... we, Margie. Look, I taught her something. Look. I'll let the baby get to sleep now. I had her all tucked in. Well, I'm just tickling one toe back in. There. Come on in for living room now, Uncle Mort. No, sir. If I'm going to be responsible for this child tonight, I'm going to be responsible. I'm sitting right here by the crib. But, Uncle Mort, you'll be all right here in the den. You can leave the door partway open and enjoy yourself in the living room. Margie, if I wanted to enjoy myself, I'd be at the Jolly Boys. I'm sitting right here taking care of this helpless little baby. Hand me a few of those cigars. Uncle Mort, you can't smoke those awful black things in here. These yellow booze aren't very black. It's just the smoke they make. Come along. Oh, look, she's dozing off. It's tiptoe out. Well, good night, my dear. Have a good time. Thank you, I will. Ah. Don't you know there's a baby in the house? Okay. Good night, my boy. And don't slam the... door. I might just go in the living room and light up a cigar. Blow the smoke out toward the kitchen. No, please. I just stacked the dishes, but don't you do anything about them. Don't worry, I won't. Have a good time, Bertie. Thank you, sir. Want me to look in on baby before I go? No thanks. Margie and I just did that. Everything's going to be all right. Well, in case it ain't, I got some do's and don'ts here for you. Some won'ts? Well, when you check on baby, be sure the covers are tucked in, but loosely tucked in. I learned that out of a government pamphlet. Oh. And it's right because the WPA put it out. The WPA. And when she rolls into a different position, you better check to see that she's not sleeping the wrong way on her ears because if she does, sometimes they curl. Uh-huh. What's this, Bertie? Well, don't you worry about it, Mr. Gilson. You just keep checking. Maybe I better check now. And here's some books to help you. Books? I knew you wouldn't want to worry if anything went wrong. Let's see those. Now, here's one that takes in everything, Mr. Gilson, from infancy to adolescence. Adolescence? How long are you going to be going, Bertie? You know, I'm about midnight, Mr. Gilson. Now, don't you worry about a thing. Worry? Oh, no, I won't. That's all you've got to do. Just keep checking. Now, don't you worry about a thing. I'll try not to. That's good. Just keep checking. You ain't got nothing to worry about. All right, Bertie. You know what? What to do will baby come. How did that get in there? That's all I'm going to tell you. Bertie recommended. Chapter one, care of the child. Do not crop small babies or hold in sitting position. It tends to make the shoulders round, chest hollow, and stomach big. Wish they'd put this book out when I was a baby. Childhood ailments. Ailments. Every child should have a health examination twice a year. Twice a year. That's every six months. She's at least six months old. Should have had a gun today. Eh, better go check. But I'm not going to worry. Well, look at her sleeping like a baby. Can't be much wrong. She isn't crying. Maybe she's too sick to cry. Better feel her little forehead. Baby, are you all right? She doesn't answer. Wonder if I should shake her a little. Baby, are you all right? Speak to me. She's all right, all right. Ooh, now how do I trade her off? Long healthy baby to be able to cry like that. But baby, be reasonable. I'm trying to make you go to sleep. Oh, maybe I'd better call PB. Easy does it, baby. We're calling Mr. PB. He'll know what to do. Ah, I see. How do you dial a telephone while holding a baby in one arm and the receiver in the other? Maybe I can dial with my elbow. Ah, the holes aren't big enough. No, baby. Don't you dial. Catch your little finger. Having fun, eh? Well, maybe I won't have to call PB after all. Baby, stop pulling that cord. The phone's slipping. Can't phone this way. Come on. Back to the crib, honey. I'll be right back. I'll be right back. Well, come on. It's ringing. PB, answer it. I know that. PB, you've had a lot of experience with babies. How do you make them stop crying? Well, Mr. Gildersleeve, I... Well, nothing. I just shook her a little. How's that? I woke her up to see if she was all right and I can't get her back to sleep. Come over and help me. Well, Mr. Gildersleeve, I'm in my nightcap. At nine o'clock? PB, I'm here alone. You've got to help me. I appealed to you as a friend. As a jolly boy. As a customer. I wonder who that is. PB can't move that fast. I thought you were at your garden club meeting. I just got home and I saw your lights on, so I thought I'd come over. Adeline, come in. I need you. Oh, you do, frog boy. Yeah, I can't get the baby back to sleep. In the den, I've tried everything. Listen to that. Precious little doll, wrap you up and we'll take you out in the living room. I tried everything I can think of. I walked the floor, bubbled her over my shoulder. Well, good gracious, it's nothing to worry about. All babies cry. They do? Did you sing to a Throckmorton? My mama used to sing to me. Sing? Well... Go on, Throckmorton. Sing our lullaby. Lullaby? I don't know many of those. How about lullaby of Broadway? No lullaby. That little buckaroo, you know that. The whole baby while I get to the piano. Hurry, Adeline. Close your sleepy eye, and dark seems to be waking. Don't you know? The night if you hadn't come over. I'm trying to get her to sleep for an hour. Oh, poor itsy bitsy boy. Adeline. Yes? I'm glad you dropped in. Well, so am I. You're all alone? Yes. Nobody's looking? Oh, yes. Zeke. Excuse me, Adeline. Doorbell, who could be calling at this hour? Yes? Peebie, what are you doing here? I brought a little something to quiet the baby. You just wind it up and put it on the floor. But Peebie... A mechanical duck. Oh, Peebie, stop it. The baby's already asleep. Did you ever take a piping hot piece of toast, add a touch of parquet, and pop it into your mouth? Well, that's when you really get the full parquet flavor. That's when you know that parquet has been prepared like a rare luxury food. Because parquet margarine tastes like a luxury. Tastes like it should cost twice as much. It makes a wonderful topping for everything, from pancakes to bread, and parquet is nourishing, too, and fortified with vitamin A. For nourishment, economy, and flavor, serve parquet. The margarine that tastes like it should cost twice as much. Ask for parquet. P-A-R-K-A-Y. Parquet margarine made by crack. It certainly seems quiet in here now. You're taking me down. Peebie, let me thank you once again for coming over the seat. Don't mention it, Mr. Gallifrey. You sure Mrs. Peebie isn't getting lonesome. This must be a very dull evening for you. Well, I wouldn't say that. Care for another peppermint, Miss Fairchild? You're very thoughtful, Mr. Peebie. Thank you, sir. Thank you. Oh, good night, folks. The show was written by John Elliott and Andy White with music by Jack Meakin, included in the cast are Walter Tetley, Mary Lee Robb, Lillian Randolph, Earl Ross, and Richard Legrand. This is John Wall saying good night for the Kraft Foods Company, makers of a famous line of Kraft quality food products. Me too, good night. Be sure to listen in next Wednesday and every Wednesday for the further adventures of the Great Gilders League. Here's a suggestion to every homemaker. It's how to cut the cost of main dishes. Be a smart menu maker. Cook with cheese often. Cheese prices have come down. And cheese is a protein food, a main dish food. Actually, ounce for ounce, there is no other basic food that matches cheese for high quality, complete protein, for calcium, phosphorus, and other nutrients from milk. And Kraft's varieties of pasteurized processed cheese cook perfectly. There's medium mellow Kraft American and sharp old English. Or for rich yet mild cheddar flavor, get Kraft's delicious cheese food, Belvita. To help balance your food budget, serve thrifty golden cheese main dishes often. This is NBC.