 Hey friends, this is Dan and Stephanie Burke. You're watching behind the scenes divine intimacy radio and my internet connection is not working So I'm struggling to get the questions, but we're gonna do a question-and-answer show no matter what It is Arthur house right Jordan and it's wireless I Mean obviously it's wireless and there's only one Arthur house Okay, you want to hook it up to mine? I tried it on my phone. I wasn't helping so Let's go ahead and Let's see there was just two Questions that were very good. Oh Here it is. I'll try to move it again See if it'll stay I moved Okay, good Okay I'll just have to hunt for it on this screen just deal with it So You ready and your markets that go this Dan Stephanie Burke Welcome to divine intimacy radio Your radio haven of rats your hermitage of the heart your monastery of the mind where we lift our hearts and minds to heaven To deal with the difficulties of life the tumult of life To gain wisdom and perspective from the saints scripture the Magisterium all that good stuff Find light in the darkness light in the darkness Yeah, there's a lot of it out there right now. That's a Kind of a talk that's part of the show today. Okay. Well, there you go so the title of the show is the danger of looking past God and actually did a Reflection in a possibly be this morning for that. I think I posted it today But it was based on something to happen to you and me and Jordan yesterday When we were driving into the retreat center and if you remember We were I can't remember who started it, but we were in awe at the beauty of the retreat center, right? and I said We have to be very careful that we never grow Tired of this beauty and that we're always grateful. Do you remember that moment, right? That we don't become complacent, right that we don't miss the glory of what's happening and we and we and so that I've been musing on that, you know, since that happened because One of the issues of this place is and because we worked 10 hours yesterday straight. I don't know all three of us Yeah, I walked almost 13,000 steps. Yeah So it was a day off. It was what's funny about it. It's a day off for the Avala Institute So nobody was here. Nobody's pulling on us. No meetings anything. So we all just decided the three of us Hey, let's just you know in a very peaceful Restful way if that sounds funny Because there's no deadlines. Nobody, you know, let's just get some stuff done around here that we normally get physical stuff Yeah, beautification. I plant it a lot, right? So here's the thing about this place There are 3,654 billion things wrong here And it's in great shape. It's just it's just a farm. It's a working farm. It's a working piece of land There's always something to do, right? It's 60 acres. I don't know how people deal with like 400 acres or whatever with 60 acres 16 acre lake And uh God allowed the community possibly VA to purchase this last year And uh, it's a it's a private retreat center But we won't go into the details on that but it's the So it had about 10 years of deferred maintenance It wasn't totally let go but it it was and it was kind of a a very large house of two houses on the property one Very large one that had four people that were going to turn into a you know room for 14 or whatever And um, but there's just a million things to do here There's issues with eroding borders on the lake. There's trees that have fallen down It is an exquisite property like right now if you drove up you probably wouldn't see any of that you just be in awe of the beauty but the issue is that What can happen to us in our humanity? Which is super destructive spiritually Is that we can look past all the the beauty and the glory that god has given us And Only focus on the negative What needs to be done because all day yesterday for 10 hours all we did all I did with jordan is work on erosion control Which is what happens when it rains And the problems that we have with erosion on the roads. We have little swamps here and there, you know uh And We don't have enough storage space for 60 60 acres requires a certain amount of equipment certain amount of storage space And we don't have enough storage space And so looking at all that You can miss The beauty and I think that is a spiritual disease Based on the fall based on our concupiscence That is incredibly dangerous. Yeah, it's like a cloudiness Right that we're always seeing the negative. Right. Does that make sense? I've been there in my life Yeah, where all that I was looking at was this is wrong and that's wrong instead of looking at well Look, I have food. I get to eat what I want. Generally speaking. I can eat anything I want Uh outside of what I'm allergic to Or that I'm willing to pay for I can I I have the bed sheets. I want I have the clothing I want I have fresh water And I think that the the devil is the author of of negativity and He tries to get us Because gratitude is very attractive to god and it's actually essential. Yeah, well, tell me about that. Yeah, I you know, I've just So I think one of the devil's main tools is dissatisfaction. You know, as you were saying It dissatisfaction turns into a critical spirit turns into bitterness It's this this way of constantly seeing what's wrong in ourselves in others in our environment in what we have I see it mostly played out in marriage and it starts to work on the heart and mind Of one of the spouses and it's just a terrible thing. It's like there's always something lacking always something wrong And just this You know comes in I don't even know how to qualify that that word. Yeah, that sound but In that we have to be really careful and the the remedy Is to nurture gratitude, right? And and one of the commitments that you and I have and through our community Is that we list our gratitudes at the end of the day in our examine? And we you always say to me, what's your top three, you know, and I have like 15 Because I can't help it, you know, because I can think through the day because I've nurtured this sense of gratitude in my life That I can think through the day and go wow, that was awesome and this was awesome And you know, these little moments of my day will pop up whether it's a little flower Whether it was the color of the petals of the roses Whether it's a smile of an individual whether it's crossing paths with somebody Who who is aching and by God's providence, they've put them You know in my path for for what we how we can serve and love them It's just beautiful, you know, and the more that you do that the more the lord says yes Yeah, because the garden of the soul, which is an analogy the the spiritual doctors of the church use St. Francis's sale to res Teresa of Avila John of the Cross It's cleansed and cleaned up and expanded through gratitude. I think in most mostly gratitude expands it And that's expanding in essence the habitation of God within us, which means there's more of him More of God in our soul in the garden of the soul And it it requires discipline and and so one of the disciplines you mentioned, which is what we call a redemptive examine Which is that we I mean if you want to learn to hate the examination of conscience only focus on what has failed how you have failed in the day Yeah, right now and you'll quickly become embittered and most people stop doing it Really, especially like people who don't have to do it But we do what's called a redemptive exam Where we start with oh god come to my assistance the lord in my case to help me, of course The beginning of the liturgy of the hours for the evening night prayer And then as you said I ask you what are your top three and then now what I did folks Just so you know because she's still out of control. I had to buy a buzzer So when she hits like six or seventh Think of gratitude. I have this noise that I make just so she knows she's she's done She's been punished. Are you done? You always do this, right? Yeah, I can't believe it. You're always saying thank you for something right so So we began our examination with that and then of course even when we Recognize we've fallen we express gratitude to god for showing us otherwise So we didn't see it and we just are slaves to it And you know what happens is that a heart full of gratitude turns into a heart full of love and it draws down the lord It draws down the lord. He's he's so attracted to it. And he just he's just like yes. Yes. Yes my daughter Yeah, and and and so much more that you didn't even see right You know, I'm I'm grateful for these 25 million things and there's a billion that I didn't see And he just keeps pouring his grace out on them. It's really important very powerful I agree for spiritual health in general, but also just to live a life that's not miserable you know I've talked about this before but st. Benedict talked about he used the phrase in his famous rule The devil zealots right the devil zealots st. Teresa of Avalon talks about how The same problem where a person begins to move toward god And they begin to see their own sin and then he begins to show them the sins of others And get them to focus on negative things outside of themselves and brokenness Which is usually the brokenness of others And it's a real temptation for those who are making progress in the spiritual life Because when you begin to see good true good The contrast gets stronger. Does that make sense? Yeah, it's more evident. Yeah, so it's more it's natural That when you know better now, this shouldn't be this way. This should be this way Especially with literature with me. It's been a big struggle Not recent but historically once I studied the liturgy. I was shocked to discover The constant abuses and mass but what the lord had to do Was to say no, that's If I have some say that's mine to focus on If I don't have some say I need to blow it off and focus on the lord and not let it distract me Yeah, and pray, you know, right and and I think that's the thing is that We can't turn off our senses or our or our sensitivities because You know, I I'm a I'm a pragmatic. I'm a teacher You know, I see things that are wrong. It's part of my dna Because I'm supposed to go Fix it right as a mother as a teacher, you know, you see where there's discrepancy or or You know the famous word of impoverishment I remember the person who introduced that into my life the word impoverished where there's something that's impoverished And and you want to fix it and build it up and fill it in with what's good, right and holy and And put things in right order But we have to be careful that the enemy doesn't grab ahold of that and take us on the other side of the path When we start getting our lives right and turn us into those embittered You know church ladies who are just always unhappy because that's incredibly unhappy Or unattractive. It's like, okay. If that's what holiness is that's, you know, That isn't holy. It's not holiness, but I mean that we have to be careful. What's on our face What comes out of our mouth what we're doing we need to build up the body of the cry of christ Say what we need to say in truth, but with immense love and then pray Yeah, and then pray and build up the body of christ through joy, right? You know when we get back from the break, I want to keep talking about this because I think it's really important for people who Are wanting to grow in holiness and wanting to have a life of peace And joy But who are drawn to focus on what's wrong? What's broken? What's negative? Because it's very destructive to the soul. So we get back that will be our conversation On your market set go. Oh, do you want to uh, I think we're good. Oh, yeah This is danis effing burke. Welcome back to divine intimacy radio. We're talking about a question Regarding how to deal with a generally negative disposition Uh, I know this is contrary to joy and god's will how can I get free from this? So One this person is halfway to Uh remedy right they realize they shouldn't be constantly negative and a lot of us don't realize a lot of people don't realize How often they're focused on what's wrong? What's broken instead of so gratitude was the first thing we talked about uh With respect to how to Make sure we're not looking past god and the great grace disease given us and embrace those and make those preeminent so then you gave the example that we do the the regenerative exam or the Regenerate what is it? Redemptive examine. Yes. There you go. Redemptive exam If you want to learn about this stuff, by the way, you head out to a possibly va.org a p o s t o l i v i a e dot org So One is awareness to doing an exam and that's positive and draws you to gratitude Three is very difficult. I think probably the hardest one And you know the passage in james count it all join my brother when you encounter Various trials or we have in peter. We says look this temporary light affliction is no big deal, right? Uh while people are being imprisoned and crucified and you know, they're crazy I love james one. I actually wrote it on a blank page in my Prayer book just to remind myself wrote it out. Yes. Yeah count it all joy when you you know, go through So how do you do that? You know, it's easy to say But like what does that look like? Can you remember a moment of difficulty? Where your face or something you started down a negative path and then you corrected Um The one that comes most quickly to my mind it's interesting that it comes up is um praying the novena to our lady of sorrows for a very difficult situation in our family and um You know, it was heavy. It was very heavy. So again, we're not making light of people's trials and difficulties. I I just spoke to um a mother, you know a few days ago. I met a mother who Uh had a son who committed suicide. Yeah, you know and and has a number of family members that are struggling um You know, there's there's loads of suffering people who are struggling with financial difficulties with with unwanted divorces and breakdowns in their family So I took a very heavy trial and I took it to our lady of sorrows because she is my go-to And we know that through the piercings of her heart that the thoughts of many are revealed So we can entrust ourselves in that sorrow. So it's not that we go Skipping and jumping that is not what we're talking about and we're not pretending. We're not pretending We're not making light of it. Yeah Where we're not being um, we're not indifferent, which is a not a good spirit That is not of the lord detachment is Indifference is not there's two different things. Yeah, there's two different things So in taking that to to where it needs to go Right properly entrusting it to her and in that it brought me, you know immense sorrow and And seris the sorrow of god For what had happened the sins my own complicity in it And the tears that came with it, right? But even in that pain as I was crying, you know, I was with our lady and I was with our lord I felt very accompanied And I and I knew that it was going to bring about a spiritual good I just knew that there was something coming from that I have come to understand Time and time again that when trials come and it comes with experience and it comes with a lot of trust And sometimes it comes with begging the lord To to help us to trust right when we just feel like it's going to crush us Lord help me in this help me to trust you more lord I trust in you blessed mother help me to walk with this And you keep offering it up offering it up offering up Trusting that the lord is going to bring a greater good and he did And how do you how well How do you offer it up like what does that mean? I've heard I like I heard a podcast recently about that's just stupid and that's tried and blah blah blah And I thought well, I guess if you toss out scripture Uh, you can have that attitude But you really can't because then you're saying well, paul is being trite by saying Or james is being trite by saying counter no joy or peter is being trite by saying, you know just temporary light affliction or paul is being trite by saying You know, you've not there's no temptation or trial Which has overcome you where you don't have enough strength from god to deal with it, right? You can't have that view and be consistent with scripture and tradition It's it's what you're doing is you're overreacting to shallow christianity by throwing out The authentic remedies because you don't understand the authentic remedies But what does it mean to offer it up really to to really offer it up is an interior disposition and it comes in prayer Right, so I go to that place of pain And I offer it to the to our lady and it's with my words and I offer it to the lord and I offer it to god the father United to the to the sacrifice the blood soul Divinity, you know blood bought body soul divinity of our lord To the father in reparation for the sin the brokenness that it's that it's created the difficulty in the family whatever it is, right? but we need to understand that that pain within us has a purpose right and you know, I was just Working with a young mother just recently And she's struggling, you know, and there's this huge storm around her Everything's uncertain. She's afraid and I said banish all the fear You've stepped out on the boat the lord's calling you you're on that water You're on that water and in jesus name you banish all fear and you keep your eyes on christ And you keep offering your pain and your sorrow For the sake of your marriage of your children Of of your family, right and you're in your husband whatever it is, right? So there's a real purpose to that And we can look to our lady. She didn't she didn't crumble underneath the weight of the crucifixion of her son She offered that to god to the god the father the lord Allows things we don't understand it But they have a purpose and he will bring about a greater good If we trust him If we keep ourselves united to him and offer that up interiorly in our prayer with a real act of of of deep love And sacrifice I give this to you So the big so it goes intellect will Right and then affect heart heart, but The step one of getting out of negativity is one recognizing the providence of god Yeah, and and seeing and understanding that you're negative, right and I'll a book. I'll recommend to you is uh Sacrament of the present moment by john pierre de cusad c a u s s a d e And the best translation is by kitty muggerage. Malcolm muggerage's wife great book Searching for and maintaining peace by zhak filip. That's more modern And then there's one by st. Alfonso slaguri jordan berk Um Uniformity with god's will those three books are like rock star books on this to get your heart and mind properly oriented to Okay, what is god's will and how am I? Resisting is will when I say when I get angry with suffering or I say no or whatever or bitter or a fight or I'm you know, right? So one getting past the resisting by recognizing so yielding to offering it up and saying I'm suffering I want to unite this you're saying this to god lord. I want to unite this with the sacrifice of jesus for the salvation of x for the You know the restoration of our family the renewal of the of the of the curia The you know, whatever in the salvation of my soul. Yeah all of my children my husband whatever it is, right? And then this is totally so when you get your intellect, right? What is the truth? Then you orient your will which is you act on the truth then your emotions get healthy Right, but if you have to do it in that order, but if you let your emotions dictate You're gonna be wrecked if that if your emotions are not properly ordered because I I now that I'm More rightly ordered and I'll never be perfect. I always just keep working on this is that now my emotions facilitate that because those our emotions aren't bad If they're properly ordered, right? So my sorrow my pain my tears my frustration My anger as long as I'm not acting on it or if it could be righteous, right? Whatever that is if I offer it and I utilize that energy and that behind those emotions Tours offering it to our lord and and it's okay to say I don't understand I feel like I'm dying under this weight. Please help me lord Please help me because I don't know how to do this But I offer it to you and I mean I have done that from the core of my being I don't understand this being married to me. Well, I'm you know, whatever it is Please help me with this last step. I want to get to is really vital is Counting it all joy, right as an act of the will And saying Lord, I choose to praise you in the midst of this difficulty And I know you will bring about a greater good, which is affirming. I believe you will bring about right So we're going through this intellect This intellect will affect the cycle and we're purifying that by constantly saying Hey, this is your will. I need to yield to it. I recognize it I need to be holy in it and here's what scripture says The mindset on the flash Is death the mindset of the on the low and earthly things is death But the night mindset of the spirit is life and joy and peace The way you know you're living in the spirit, if you will that you're abiding with jesus that john Uh, the apostle john speaks about is when you face these circumstances and you can face them in joy Not with a constant frown not with a constant list of negatives not with the ways i've been offended None of that but instead the lord's put this in my life because I need it for my salvation Right, the lord has put this in my life to set me free to so I will see healing not that the other person needs to be fixed So these are the secrets. I think to really avoiding this danger of looking past god Being able to deal in joy with the difficulties that we face Because that's what the lord wants. He wants to set us free Yeah, and and even more on top of all that It's not always about us sometimes it's about our being given the gift to participate in redemption Right to join our suffering for someone else for the sake of someone else, right? And we can never discount the importance of that. It's a part of our intercessory prayer That's very physical And it's very emotional and in it's all of us and it it's really important There's a saying about a sad saint. It's a bad saint. I would like to fix that right a sad saint is no saint at all A saint is a saint as a person who knows the joy of the lord intimacy with the lord Clear about the sovereignty of god participating in this redemption of the world And moving forward in faith in joy in peace and with that we've got to end the show Okay, well until next time may the god of peace make you perfect in holiness May he preserve you whole and entire spirit soul and body Irreproachable at the coming of our lord jesus christ amen amen