 So today's episode was actually inspired by a discussion I had with all my viewers good friend Mike from New York And we were talking about a topic that I thought would be worth discussing here And that topic is if you are a martial artist and you're having children What's the way to approach raising your children within the martial arts? So if you're watching this channel then there's a good chance that you're a martial artist or at least have interest in the Martial arts and I don't think I have to really sell all of you on the benefits of the martial arts Especially when it comes to children and why they should partake in them But the real question comes into if you are a parent and you are a martial arts instructor Or you've trained martial arts most of your life and you want to bring your kids into it That's a natural desire because we know the benefits, but the question is how do you pass those benefits on to your children? What is the appropriate way to do it? And one of the more pressing concerns is you know just because you love something doesn't mean your kids going to So there's a lot of people who might not want to force this onto their children because if you make it a chore If you make it something that they have to do it might build resentment And there's less likelihood that they're going to actually attach to it the same way you did if they feel like they're pressured in doing it And here's a concern that Mike brought up and I've actually heard this from a lot of different people before is Say you do start your child in the Martial arts you train them at home You teach them the basics you teach them whatever whatever does he teach them And when they get a little bit old enough to be able to join a dojo they take classes You can roll them everything's going great, but in the one day the instructor shows something and your kid goes Uh-uh, that's not how my daddy shows it Daddy has a concern and we're going to circle back to that Also you train them in one art. What if they express interest in another art later? So okay, these are all great legitimate concerns and in my 20 years of off and off teaching I've made a lot of observations. I've worked with a lot of children from several different schools So I'm going to share some of my input and of course as always I would encourage and invite any additional input you guys can share Please put them down in the comments below We know sharing ideas like this in this community can only help each other So I want to address the first one because I feel this one's important You know mike expressed concern of well, what if it's me being selfish and forcing the child to do something They're not going to want to do that is an excellent example and I've unfortunately seen examples of that Without going into too much detail. I did know a kid who was in classes with us. I was Probably 2004 ish five ish You know it was it was several years back I was a couple years into my black brother ready and we had a kid in a kid's class He was like five or six starting but his dad put him in the class which is all well and good You know you put your children in karate classes to help them grow whatever But you could tell as years went on dad pushed him that felt like dad was living or training vicariously through his kid And I'm not going to assume anything with a personal life But there's always the impression there that he did this because dad wanted him to dad was always on the sidelines always kind of Barking orders or barking instructions It's kind of like you could tell dad's mind was on the floor that he wanted to be there But wasn't able to be so yes, this is a legitimate concern You do not want to make your kid feel like they're forced to do this because that will build resentment And the day they have the freedom they're gonna drop that like a hot potato And you don't want to give them a bad taste of the martial arts, you know They'll have the whole point is to encourage them to grow That's not the way to do it My personal recommendation is if you were raising a child and you want them to train in the martial arts Make it more of a family activity a bonding experience start them off young but start them off basic You know just hold the pad drills get them just to work coordination You know the kids loved to hit things most of them at least so they're gonna find it fun Make it fun make it an experience So don't make it feel like that they have to do a chore or something that's like expected of them But kind of more something you're included them in on is that make them feel special as a bonding moment I think that will go a long way compared to force them to do something Again, every kid's going to be different and you might still have children that aren't interested at all But if you take the approach of spending time with them There I think they're going to latch on to that and enjoy the experience much more than just having information Forced foot down their throat again make it fun work on basics get them to stand correctly And get them to form the right fist and hit the pad properly just start with that Basic exercises hitting the pad properly kicking the pad properly and as they get older you can add on to it You can add on to it. So they at least they get the physical actions down again They're still working on coordination. They probably you know at two or three years Oh, they're still trying to figure out how to coordinate their own body just to walk you through space So don't hit them with academic stuff right off the bat because it's not going to sink in It's not going to they don't have that relation yet Get them doing the moves basic moves fun exercises and as they start to get older Then you can start to explain a little bit more So by the time they do become six seven eight nine years old that reasoning will develop naturally And they'll start to understand why they're doing what they're doing You can get deeper into techniques and then you don't have to work at that right at the very beginning Just get them moving get them to enjoy it You know get them to fall in love with the art first before you hit them with a ton of book work So going back to the whole you know your kid raises and in class to the instructor says That's not how my daddy does it That is very likely to happen whenever a kid has done that I've had several kids in my classes that their parents were martial artists and taught them something growing up And of course when they brought up so if we did the kick a different way or a punch a different way You're in whatever it is I would acknowledge that can say you know what you're absolutely right show me how your dad did it And they would demonstrate it and I would say that's absolutely correct Now I'll show them why and then I would kind of circle back saying okay Well, there's lots of ways to approach things lots of ways to do things So in this instance, this is the way we're going to do it So you don't replace them don't correct them and say no, you're wrong You know, it's all about opening their mind Helping them understand that there's a lot of ways to do things and don't don't ever discreet if you're an instructor Don't ever discredit their parent. Just say yes, that's correct But then show them why you do it your way So basically you're adding to their knowledge You're not trying to replace it and the kids a lot more likely to accept that and honestly too If you are working with your children It's not a bad idea to let them know ahead of time as they're growing up that there are different styles out there that You know, we're learning this because xyz But there's also this there's also this and explain some of the differences And try to get them to have that open mind so that when they see something different later It's not such a culture shock to them. What if the kid is special needs this one? This is a touchy subject and this is probably a better one to circle back to the flesh out a bit more But yes, there are going to be children who need special considerations when it comes to the martial arts There are children on various places of the spectrum and that can make things difficult sometimes But I think it really comes down to the individual child and what their needs are We've had several autistic children come through the school and Very in degrees. No, some were very very functional others were not and in some cases We've had some kids were when they first came to the class. They were totally withdrawn. They wouldn't engage You could tell a totally tell that they were not connected the situation whatsoever But over the several years, you know, by the time they got to their teenage years They were actually pretty well functioning adults and I would like to think that some of that was for the martial arts Sometimes that could be a positive impact But let's also be honest that there are sometimes kids who can't handle it. We've had a couple that after a while it just The kid wasn't in the place yet where this was the best necessarily path for them. We had one child that was very very very Distractable and like if you took your eyes off for a second He was literally on the other side of the class distracting inside the class And yes, there's there's a whole point to you know showing discipline and putting them in their place But he really needed one-on-one attention And we did that for a while, but there wasn't much improvement, but there were other social issues going on So Sometimes you have to ask yourself is the martial arts the best case scenario right now You know, some kids do have additional challenges that take priority. Uh-oh My kid wants to go into a different martial art than I trained in and again, this is my own personal opinion based on my experience I'm sure a lot of you have different experience out there But my opinion is let them explore, you know Be sure to tell them why you train what you train and you know always show the benefits It's kind of like don't put down what they want to do, but explain why you like what you do And if you really want them to grow as a martial artist show interesting You know ask them why they like it ask them what they're learning and compare it to what you're teaching Teach them flexibility and variety Don't try to pigeonhole them into one thing because that's going to go back towards that resentment So if your kid wants to explore the martial arts, I say that's a good thing because They're showing a love and an interest in the martial arts as long as they're finding a way to achieve the goals That they set out for themselves I think there's nothing wrong with exploration and finally the last concern was Uh, Mike did not want to be one of those parents that dictated his children's experience He didn't want to be over the shoulder He wanted to let the kid grow and learn on their own But here's the thing if you if you follow what we've talked about so far You know you let them explore you teach them why you like what you like you encourage them to be active They're going to have their own experiences I mean you're not going to dictate everything that they do and if if you are that is a problem But just understand let your kid have that martial arts journey You had your journey you had your experiences They're going to have their own two if they go to another class you're not going to be in the class with them They're going to have their own encounters with their classmates. They're going to have their own sparring experiences They're going to have their own memories developed from it But you don't have to feel like you're over their shoulder But that being said there is such a thing as being a helicopter parent in the martial arts And it is a real problem We have had parents that were calling from the sidelines trying to instruct the kid from the sidelines And if we did one drilling class that they didn't think she had to do or felt like she should do They pulled her out of class and left for the day Don't be that parent you are teaching your child to fail It actually teaches them how to quit when something gets hard or something so we don't like it They picked up and quit don't be like that And i'm i'm sure if the concern comes up like like mike asked he goes I don't want to be that helicopter parent if you have that concern then you're already cognizant of that I think you'll be fine not to do that But there is a fine line between pushing your child and looking over the training and literally Looking over their shoulder and pushing them every step of the way There's a huge difference one is a problem one promotes their own growth So anyway, I just thought that this was a really good topic to talk about today because there's so much meat into it And there's so many Parts that we could take and make their own episodes But I thought it was good to bring this to the surface and talk about it and share it with you guys Because i'm sure a lot of you have different opinions and what i've just expressed here And that's fine If you've got anything to correct me on or you disagree with put it down in the comments below I'm also interested in anything i left out if you have other advice or you know If you're an instructor who works with children What are some of the things that you've observed that you can caution the parents on I just think there's so much here to chew into and this is the perfect community You guys are awesome. You know, I see you guys every week engaging in a lot of good discussions So I think this is a good one to chew on so let me know what you think You know, please place your comments down below Thank you so much for watching and please like subscribe You know share this video and we will see you all next week