 Family Theater presents Phil Carey and Walter Brennan. From Hollywood, the Mutual Network and Cooperation with Family Theater presents The Green Wave, starring Phil Carey. And now here is your host, Walter Brennan. Thank you, Tony LaFranco. Family Theater's only purpose is to bring to everyone's attention a practice that must become an important part of our lives if we are to win peace for ourselves, peace for our families, and peace for the world. Family Theater urges you to pray. Pray together as a family. And now to our transcribed drama, The Green Wave, starring Phil Carey as Leo. I suppose it's a good thing to have goals in life. It's a healthy thing, makes for ambition, gives you reason to work a little harder. And then you have a feeling of achievement when you finally realize one of your goals. I'd like to tell you about one of mine. About something I wanted almost as long as I can remember. In a way, I suppose you can say it started back into depression when I was a kid. I had to help fill a family lot by cutting other people's lawns around the neighborhood. That was when I decided I wanted a lawn. Not right then, but later on when I grew up and had a house and yard of my own. There was one thing I wanted more than anything else in the world. A big beautiful green lawn. I was nuts. Just plain nuts. But maybe I'm getting ahead of myself. It really all started just a little bit after I got out of the army. You see Jane and I bought our first house, a GI house out in the west end of the San Fernando Valley. It was pretty nice. Three bedrooms, den, fireplace, and something that appealed to me a whole lot. 6,000 square feet of lawn area. Dicondron clover. That's the combination, honey. In all of it? Why not? Well, what about flower beds and things like that? Oh, we can take care of those things like that later. You know, we made up our minds where we want them. I suppose putting the whole area and lawn would hold the dust down. Completely. And it'll be a thing of great beauty. Just you wait and see. Who are you going to get to put it in? Who am I going to get to put it in? That's what I said. I'm going to do it myself. You? Yeah, me. Why not? Well, that's so funny. Ever since we were married, we've lived in apartments. You told me yourself you've never had a yard in your life. You make a terrible mess of it. I will not. I think maybe we'd better call some gardener. Not just a minute. Really, Leo. It just so happens, I've had quite a little experience with lawns. In fact, I'm something of an expert with lawns. Sure you are. You'll see. Look, just because you used to tend to feel when you were a boy. Honey, I'm not kidding you. You don't have a thing to worry about. I tell you, I'm an expert. Now, when I said it, I didn't really believe I was much of an expert. It was just that I kind of, well, I had to say face because Jane didn't think I could do it. But after I talked to myself about it on the way to the hardware store, reminding myself of the wonderful workmanship I displayed as a boy, lawn, water, and more, I got to think and I was really an expert. And when I got to the hardware store, a kindly old clerk with an eye for a dollar destroyed the illusion completely. Aptichondrum clover. That's what I want. Yeah, it's pretty popular in this area. Makes nice ground cover. How much area are you going to put in seed? 6,000 square feet. Well, I've got a good man to do it for you. If you happen to, I know I can suggest a fellow to do it for $300, maybe less. Real professional, nosy stuff too. Well, I can't afford to let some dunderhead do a bum job, you know, not with seed prices the way they are. I figured I'd do it myself. Oh, okay. All right. Seed department's right over here. Let's see. You figure you'll need about 20 pounds of clover, huh? That much? You did say 6,000 square feet, didn't you? Yeah, yes, yes. About 20 pounds clover then. And at that, you might be spreading it a little thin. You don't know a whole lot about putting in a lawn, do you? Yes, I think I do. Oh. As a matter of fact, I used to be in the business. I'm considered by some to be kind of an expert with lawns. Oh, I see. Well, I guess I was a might out of line, I'm sorry. Perfectly all right. How much Dacondra you figure you'll need, sir? Well, I suppose 20 pounds ought to do it. 20 pounds. That's right. Now, if you used to be in the lawn business, I guess you must know what you're doing, but don't you think that might make your lawn just too thick? Not at all. Not at all. All right, all right, all right. 20 pounds, Dacondra. And I guess I'll need a rake and a shovel and... Soil acid or alkaline? I said, is your soil acid or alkaline? It's acid. Oh, I see. You live over to the other end of the valley, don't you, huh? No, I live at this end of the valley. But your soil's acid? Oh, well, what I mean, it'll be acid when I fix it. Oh, yeah, good, good. Glad to hear it. Glad to hear that you're going in for soil preparation. Lot of folks moving into a new track. They haven't got brains enough to do any soil preparation. Goofs. Yeah, you'll be wanting a good soil acidifier too. Now, this stuff here is pretty good. Comes in 100 pound bags. Fine, I'll take one. Oh, you've done some soil preparation already? For 6,000 square feet, you'll need about 30 bags. Oh, that's what I meant. I'll take one shipment. You do ship? Oh my, for an order like this, I'll tell you we ship. Yes, sir. Now, which, or as an expert, I mean, which do you prefer to work into the soil? Nitrohumus or peat moss? Both? Oh, yeah, yeah, fine, good judgment, good judgment. 13 bags of nitro and say, oh, 10 bales of peat, huh? Now, what do you say we talk about moss? Now, I don't want you to get the idea that I'm a complete ninkapoop about lawns and things horticultural. It's just that I never put a lawn in before. And I want to tell you this. If you should ever come up with you, I don't care how many lawns you've cut as a kid, or how many you might have kept up for the neighbors, you don't know a thing about them until you put in a couple in yourself. I say a couple, because after I finished putting mine in, I still wasn't an expert. I tell you, Leo, I tell you, you got the tallest front yard in the whole block. And all that goop you put on made it three inches high in the sidewalk. Hey, what are you going to do when the grass begins to grow? And I had a neighbor, a guy named Mort Heller, every day after I finished watering, he'd come out and rip me. Leo, did I say when? Maybe I should have said if it begins to grow. Go ahead. Laugh. But I'll bet you when it starts to grow, it'll be twice as good a lawn as yours will. Oh, oh, yeah? Yeah. Well, now I'll just take you up on that, say, five dollars? Say ten. Let's make it fifty. Fifty? It's a lot of money. Of course, if you haven't got that much faith in yourself. All right, fifty. Fifty dollars, says my lawn, turns out bigger and better in every way than yours. Fifty bucks. Fifty dollars. You bet Mort Heller fifty dollars. If that's not the end, the livin' end, I swear sometimes, Leo, I think you must be out of your mind. You let them sell you a lawn roller, something most people rent. Then you almost make us go into hot buying seed and soil conditioner and mulch and hoses and special sprays, all for that silly lawn. What's the matter with you? Is it that you really think you're an expert, or are you trying to get as qualified for the poor house? Because if you are, you're certainly going about it the right way. Mort has his lawn put in by a professional gardener. Any idiot can see it's got a better chance than ours, or maybe I should say almost any idiot. One idiot I know can't see beyond the end of his nose. Of course, the little woman wasn't too happy about my bet with Mort. In fact, she wasn't too happy about anything that had to do with that lawn. Even then, I couldn't blame her. It turned out to be a little more expensive than I thought it would, and then, too, we didn't see too much of each other, with me outwatering most of the time. Do you think the water company makes special rates available to people like you? No, honey. You bet they don't, and you'll see when the bill gets here. But you have to keep the soil wet for the seeds to germinate. Oh, well, pardon me. You see, I'm no expert. But since you are, just when are they supposed to do that? In their own good time. And what is that supposed to mean? Just how long before that brown mess out there? It's a seedbed. Just how long before it stops being the great hokey, finoki swamp and starts being along? Well, any day now. It'll happen before you know it. You'll see. The next day, when I went out to water, there was a fine Mr. Green covering Mort's yard. Pretended I didn't notice it, but I started to worry. Of course, it didn't occur to me that Mort had planted his two full days before I planted mine. All I could see was my 50 flying away and Mort laughing his head off. That was the part that was hard to take, the idea of Mort having his big laugh at my expense. That afternoon, I ordered $25 worth of steer manure. And there was Green in the yard the next day. Not much, but a little. I'm afraid I got pretty excited about it. Jane, come on out here. Come on out here. All right, all right. So nothing's going to grow, huh? Well, what do you call that? Right, right there. It's all over the yard. Oh, you have to kind of squint to see it, but in some places it's just pretty thick. Look, look, right there. Well, bend down. Look. There's something growing there. So I don't know what I'm doing, huh? So nothing would ever grow out here. Well, what do you think about this? Leo, is he supposed to be the clover or the daikondra? Clover or daikondra? Any idiot knows that clover has three leaves, daikondra one. Well, this stuff has two. What does that make it? Two? Oh, no, no. That can't be. Look for yourself. It can't be. It just can't be. This is no joke. I've been swindled. That guy sold me a bunch of two-leaf clover. Hey, maybe it's really two-leaf daikondra. Haven't you got some dishes to do with something? Sure, Leo, sure. I could take a hint. Ah, yeah, yeah, so smart. Try to cheat me, Willie. Two leaves. Let's see what he's got to say about this. What do you mean? What do I think about this? Just what I said. You come in here and throw a bunch of greens on the counter and what am I supposed to think? I'll tell you what I think. I think I've been swindled. How so? Look at those sprouts. I'm looking. Two leaves. No leaves at all. Huh? What are you talking about? These are cotyledons. First growth. Not daikondra? Too soon for daikondra to show. I meant clover. Now, wait, wait, wait here. Let me look at them separately. How many you got here? One, two, three, five, seven. It's sampling from all over the yard. Now, this one here. Yeah? This is stinging nettle. Stinging nettle? Yep. And this one's a devil grass. Grows from a spore. Hey, hey, this one looks like clover. Yeah, that's puncture weed. Some call it puncture vine because the way it hugs the ground and spreads all around over everything. Oh, my thoughtful hard-on bicycle tires. You got a bicycle? No. Well, and don't buy one until you get rid of this stuff. You won't be able to keep your tires on it. And say I wouldn't go barefoot on your lawn until you get rid of that there nettle, either, if I would you. Well, what about the rest of these shoots? Oh, well, this one's saber-tooth chickweed. This here's alfalfa. Oh, my goodness, here's a good one. Clover? Yeah, wild mustard. This is, oh, boy. A bunch of these greens cooked up. Oh, tastes pretty good. Of course, after they're a little bigger. And this one here looks like a ragweed. Yep, I think that one's ragweed. That sure is. And the last one, that might be clover. I'm not sure. Oh, fine. Say, you tell me something, will you? What? Why did you come in here and tell me you was an expert? You ain't, are you? No. As to why? Well, I thought I was at first. And after that, I just couldn't back down. Oh, my. For the tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive, that's cotton. Well, what am I going to do about all this? Yeah, that's a good question. Now, these things here, a lot of weed seed. You said that. Uh, how'd you prepare your seed bed? Well, first I turned all the soil over. Mm-hmm. How deep? A foot. Oh, that's good. Then I broke it up and worked in the soil conditioner. Oh, yeah. Yeah, they tried, 30 bags, wasn't it? Then I worked in the peat moss, the nitrohumus, and those two chemical fertilizers you sold me. Both of them? Yeah. Oh, my, you shouldn't have done that. You're supposed to save them till the lawn had a chance to get established. That's pretty strong stuff. But it's done now. What else did you do? Then I rolled the bed good and flat. Oh, my. Selling you that roller was a dirty trick. I'll give you a refund on it, since you've been such a good customer. And then what did you do? Well, then I spread the seed, put the mulch in it, and watered it. Well, if that's all you did, I think maybe you still got a chance. Well, I did one other thing. What was that? 25 bags of steer. No! Yes. Oh, my, oh, my, my, my, that looks bad. Well, the weeds seem to be doing all right. They might be the only ones, hardy enough to take all that. Look, I can't have a lawn that's all weeds. Well, now wait, I got a bottle of something here, over here. Three ounces would be enough for your whole lawn. Well, then could you give me a smaller bottle? Now, this is the only size it comes in. Half a gallon. How much? Two dollars and a half. You want it? Having any choice. I've got too much invested, the cut corners now. Here's your money. Have much blood. See you later. Yeah, let me know how things turn out, will you? Sure thing. And remember, use that stuff sparingly. I will, I will. Leo? Hmm? Are you asleep? Not yet. What was it you said that stuff was? What stuff? In a bottle you brought home from the hardware store. Oh, that. Plant hormone. Stimulate the grass, discourage the weeds. At least that's what the man said. Oh. Leo? Yeah? Was that stuff very expensive? Not very. You didn't get very much. I mean, compared to all those bags of plant food. Well, this is potent stuff, he said. Three ounces would be enough to discourage the weeds. Three ounces? Jane, I'm sleepy. Is that what you put on the lawn? Three ounces? He said three ounces would discourage the weeds. So I figured six ounces would kill him dead. He said three, and you used six? I used nine. Nine? Well, I take chances. Now, may I go to sleep, please? Did you say it was supposed to stimulate the grass, too? That's what I said. I swear, the stuff you put on that yard. If those seeds don't die, we'll have the thickest lawn in the world. Jane, please. It'll take over. It won't be a lawn, it'll be a power. If three is the right dose, he figures nine ought to be three times as good, old brother. Honey, I've got to get some sleep. Would you mind? All right. All right. Thank you. Why do women always have to exaggerate a lawn taken over? But what a laugh. Oh, boy, I got to get some sleep. Gingos, I really have to hand it to you, Leo. Never saw anything like it in all my life. Never in all my life. All in knowing how? About the 50. No rush, no rush. When did you plan it? Same time you planned yours. Oh, wait a minute. A couple of days later, really. 10 days and then 11. And the thing is rich and full like a lawn that's been established for years. I think I better mow it. You know, you're right. You want to use my power rig? Oh, you got one of those power things? Ho, ho, best in the West. Man, man, would you look at that lawn. Leo, it's phenomenal. Must be four inches high already. Suppose I might use the mower now. Oh, sure, sure. Come on, let's get her out and gas her up. There she goes. Sweet sound, eh? What say? Sounds good, huh? One and one half horsepower. Well, go ahead, start mowing. Okay, how do I do it? Just pull that handle and walk behind it. It'll do all the work, like this. What happened? I don't know. Maybe my lawn's just too tough for it. Yeah, maybe it is. I've cut rocks with this thing. Yeah, let me start it up again. All right, now stand back. Let a man who knows how take a whack at him. It's all yours. Here we go. Now, why do you suppose it's doing that? You got me. You know, you may be right. Maybe a lawn is too tough for it. Are that you, honey? Jane, that you? Oh, what's the matter, honey? Yo, what is a sheet? Is something wrong? Wrong? Oh, Leo. Oh, get hold of yourself, honey. Here, sit down. I must be losing my mind. Well, what is it? I was in the backyard. Yes? I was trying to dig a flower bed, you know, with a shovel. That's fine, honey. It's not fine, Leo. It's not fine at all. I think we should have a flower bed in the backyard. Leo, I have a feeling that we'll we'll never have a flower bed in the backyard. Look, honey, what are you trying to tell me? It took the shovel away from me. Who did? Not who. What? Better, better take it slow. I'll try. I was trying to dig the shovel into the ground, you know? Yes. Only I couldn't do it. I just couldn't get it through the roots. Oh, now wait a minute. Wait, I'm not finished. I tried, Leo. I tried very hard. And while I was trying, I rested a little, you know? Go on, go on. And I thought maybe it was the heat or something that was, the heat was getting me. So I went in the house and I got a glass of water. Leo, when I came back out, the lawn had the shovel. It had grown over, right over it. It wouldn't give it back. I can't get it loose. It was then I noticed something. What? That the heat had gotten you? The dichondra is taking over the house. Well, what do you mean? Come and look. Maybe you better go in and rest for a while. Leo, come and see. Man, look at that spread. Never seen dichondra spread like that in normal life. There must be something that'll kill it. The 2D4 didn't even phase it did it. None of those preparations just sent over had any effect at all. Some of them even seem to make it grow faster. Hey, listen. What's that noise? You mean the rumble? It's the stuff growing. So fast you can hear it. No kidding. Well, what do you know about that? Well, nothing so bad you can't get a little good out of it. I don't see a bit of a saber-toothed chickweed in the lawn or no stinging nettle. All right, all right. So much for the sage observations. Leo, you've got to do something about this. I don't mind taking over my lawn, but now it's going up the side of my wife's bedroom and I will not tolerate it. I just will not stand for it. Perdiest lawn I ever did see, even if it is a little unruly. But how can we kill it? Something's got to be done. Man, if I were you, I'd call Outdoor Army. Is that the best you can do? You better listen to him, Leo. That's crazy. There's simply got to be a better answer than that. There's got to be. I will not call in the Army. Sergeant, your men will have to do a better job of keeping those people back. Colonel, you can't do it. You just can't do it. It's our house somewhere under that mess. The speed with which that lawn is growing, it would develop the whole nation inside of 18 months. But maybe that's why it's four years, perhaps the whole world. But there must be another way. Steady old man, steady. And my house, you just can't blow it up while it's unthinkable. Besides, it wasn't my grass that did this. I thought your fellas were soldiers. This is a GI project, isn't it? Well, yes. Then act like soldiers. But I was in the Navy. Colonel, these houses represent all we have in the world. You got the furniture out, didn't you, ma'am? Well, yes, but... Personal belongings? Certainly. I'm afraid that's the best we can do. Now the area is cleared and charged with the set. There's nothing to do but proceed. I know you can all understand when I tell you it's in the best interests of the nation, perhaps the entire world. All right, Major. Sound the alarm and stand by for the countdown. Oh, Leo, I... I can't look. Come on over here, honey. We won't look. I know there's no other way. The Colonel's right. Especially since the lawn's gone to seed. Gone to seed? Well, didn't you notice? Oh, no. Colonel, wait! The explosion will scatter those seeds over a 20-mile area. Wait! Wait! Don't do it! Don't blow it up! Leo. Leo, wake up. Jane? You were having a nightmare. A nightmare? Uh-huh. Time you were getting up anyway. Come and look. I've got a surprise for you. Where are my house shoes? I noticed it when I got up about an hour ago. Wait till I raise the shade. Huh? What are you talking about? The lawn! See it? It's starting to come up! Yeah. It is, isn't it? I take back everything I said. I went out to take a look, and it's really coming up. I think it's going to be the healthiest, thickest lawn on the block. Don't say that. Don't ever say that. What's the matter with you? I'll tell you later. But where are you going? Out to the lawn. To mow it, woman! While there's still time! Of course, the lawn never did really get out of hand. The cost? Well, that's something else again. I figure it cost me about four times what the average lawn should cost, just because I refused to back down. Refused to admit that I wasn't really an expert. I told you this story for a couple of reasons. Three to be exact. First, I thought it might hand you a laugh or two, if you ever put in a lawn. Second, if you're planning on putting one in, you might profit by my mistakes. And third, to illustrate the truth of that line by Scott, the one that goes, oh, what a tangle web we weave when first we practice to DC. This is Walter Brennan again. Every week on Family Theater, the last minute or two of the program is devoted to what we call the commercial. And actually, it is a commercial in a way because during this minute or two, we're trying to sell something. We're trying to sell the idea of family prayer as a means of strengthening the ties and the families of this country. We who appear from time to time on this program feel that family prayer is the best available means of accomplishing this. For when the members of the family gather together with sincerity in their heart to ask God for His blessings and thank Him for His gifts, they are really acknowledging God's position as the true head of the home. They are, in a very real sense, bringing the author of Family Life among them as an active participating member of the family, just as surely as he promised when he said, whenever two or three are gathered in my name, there will I be in the midst of them. Yes, prayer is a powerful thing. It is the means given to us by God for petitioning for our needs and our desires. But family prayer is even more powerful. For through sincere family prayer, though it be for as little as one or two minutes a day, we bring God into our homes and assure ourselves of His continued blessings, His continued love. And, too, the family that prays together stays together. More things are wrought by prayer than this world dreams of. From Hollywood, Family Theater has brought you transcribed The Green Wave, starring Phil Carey. Walter Brennan was your host. Others in our cast were Gene Bates, Ralph Moody, and Eddie Marr. The script was written and directed for Family Theater by Robert Hugh O'Sullivan, with music composed and conducted by Harry Zimmerman. This series of Family Theater broadcasts is made possible by the thousands of you who feel the need for this type of program, by the Mutual Network, which has responded to this need, and by the hundreds of stars of stage, screen, and radio who give so unselfishly of their time and talent to appear on our Family Theater stage. To them and to you, our humble thanks. This is Tony LaFranco expressing the wish of Family Theater that the blessing of God may be upon you and your home and inviting you to join us next week when Family Theater will present Retired, starring Edgar Buchanan. Jack Bailey will be your host. Join us, won't you? We have been asked to remind you that May 18th marks the eighth annual observance of Armed Forces Day, the day when you, the public, are invited to visit the military installations of our country to see what is on hand to defend our country in case of war. The theme of this observance, power for peace. Family Theater has broadcast throughout the world and originates in the Hollywood studios of the world's largest network. This is Mutual, the radio network for all America.