 Hey there lovers and friends. So your sex life has gotten stale. Boom. Things have dried up in the bedroom. Boom. You're bored. You're bored. You're partner's bored. You're partner's bored. Now what? Now what? You go to Squarespace. Okay. What's going on everybody? I am popping in to let you know that Squarespace is sponsoring this video. Look, from websites to online stores to marketing tools to analytics. Squarespace is an all-in-one platform to build a beautiful, powerful, stunning online presence and run your business. So go check them out. Now, back to the video. The truth of the matter is, is that they are going to go to my Squarespace site right now. Why? Because the first thing we're going to do is to turn on trigger quiz. Okay. So in this video, we're going to walk through three different activities that you can do at home with your partner or by yourself. Because sometimes you get bored of your own sex life with yourself. You can do these activities and then I think that's going to give you the spice of your life. Are you bored of our sex life? I am not bored of our sex life. All right. I didn't know what you were going to say there. Are you bored of our sex life because you asked a question? No, I'm not bored. I'm not bored because we have limited opportunities for sex. So anytime that we get anything, I'm like very excited and happy for it. Okay. So she's kind of bored. I'm not, why? I'm not kind of bored, but I think that we're in a place. When we get over this hump of newbornness, I do want us to start like going other places. Okay. All right? Yeah. So the first activity that we did was the turn on trigger quiz. I think this is a really great reset for couples because when you get to a place where you feel like your libidos are very different or you're not on the same page often, it could be that you aren't speaking each other's turn on triggers. Yeah. And I find that, yeah, most people run into that issue the most, I think. And I think that could be a simple fix to a lot of libido problems. Yeah. Because you have to know not just like, hey, how do I approach my partner? But how do I set the mood so that my advancement is likely to be accepted? Yeah. So we read the quiz after, we have done it in two years. Yeah. And your result was? Environmental. The exact same. The exact same. Do you think I do a good job of this one? Yeah. I think you do a very good job at this one. Really? Yeah. Do you not think that you do? You know what it is? Because I'm not very clean, but I am very tidy. I'm very tidy. That's all that matters to me. Well, when I first started seducing you, I was completely environmental. Yeah. Because I was the perfect seductress for you. Yeah. It would be projector and candles and cream and robe. Yeah. Everything was smooth as a boiled egg. And now I feel like I'm not like quite on that game. So I'm happy that you're still pleased with the level. You are though. You are in quite that game. I think that we don't usually initiate intense sexual encounters unless we both showered, which is like the baseline of it. That's all I need. Okay, good. Mine was? Yours was environmental as well. No. I thought you said it was the same. No. Mine is the same as it was two years ago. What is yours? You don't know. I don't. It's desire. That makes sense. That makes sense. Which is interesting because I feel like you get fed desire all the time. From the rest of the world? From everybody. You know? No? No? You don't think so? I think I would like more of this from you. Yeah. Do you know what I mean by desire? Yeah, coming on to you and expressing sexual wants. I like very direct sexual language. Yeah. Like I want to **** your ****. Something like that. Okay, I'm adopting. I'm adopting. Like just really like if you have like a carnal animalistic thought, I want to hear it. But don't you think that it comes out in action with me? Yes, it does. Just not verbalized. That's not my turn on trigger. If you want to get me there in the act, that's something different. But if you're ever like, oh, I'm really feeling it, is she going to want it? If you look at me and you have like an intense sexual thought, I want that unfiltered. Yeah. You know what's interesting is I find that, you know, I rather action than it to be verbalized. So maybe that's just me assuming that everyone's like me. So if I was like, I want to **** this **** off your ****. Yeah, I wouldn't do anything for me. No. No. No, that wouldn't do. I'd rather you just like come up to me, take off my belt, take my pants off and then go for it. Yeah. That's like for me, that's what gets me there. I don't really like, I like talking in the moment, but the lead up it's like, do you know what it is? It feels corny when we talk about what we're going to do. And I know it's probably like a not a right way to thinking of it, but I feel like action is where the turn on for me is. That's, I think, what's important about kind of like love languages. Yeah. The one that feels counterintuitive to you could be on the nose for someone else. Right. So it's less about like what you find palatable and more about, oh, here's where I'm already there. Yeah. So when you initiate a turn on trigger, you're already turned on. Yeah. You're just trying to get me on this. You're trying to get there. Yeah. No, that makes sense. That's why I'm adopting this next activity. I love it is actually from Afro sexology. If you do not follow them on Instagram, you need to follow them. I thought this was a genius activity very quick and it's essentially a word cloud. I'll put it on the screen right now and you have to pick three words that best describe what you want to feel like during sex. Okay. And their explanation for this was that we often talk about the activities that we want done, which we're going to do in our next activity. Like what we want done to us, but we don't talk about how we want to feel in that moment. Yeah. How about we do this? I'll guess what your three are. And then you tell me, then you guess what my three are. I've done this activity with you and you know mine. Okay. Well, they didn't know that. Okay. Okay. We're modeling it for the other people. Okay. Okay. I'm going to guess that in the moment, you want to feel primal, passionate and dominant. Yeah. The words that I would choose are going to be primal, definitely passionate and I would say authentic. Oh, that is so you. Yeah. Okay. That is so you. All right. I get that. I'm going to guess for you, yours are going to be adored, creative and seductive. Close. What do you got? I'm going to go with adored for sure. Creative, absolutely slutty. I was going to guess that one, but I feel like if I said that, then I would be on lipstick alley or something. Well, full disclosure though. Yeah. We did this activity before. Yeah. And you didn't guess slutty back then either. No. When we're private. Yeah. Why do you not think that I want to feel slutty during sex? It's not that I don't think that you want to feel slutty during sex. It's that the perception of me calling my wife slutty was privately. I know you guessed wrong too. Okay. But I'm just asking. So don't don't go with like the like PR answer. I'm not going. I'm going with the real answer. Okay. I apologize. I'm going with the real answer. Like I feel like it's not my place to say that, you know, it's different if you're like, Hey, I want to feel slutty in this encounter that comes off hot and treating enticing. But if I'm like, I want you to be my little slut during this thing. It might be weird. What do you guys think? It's not weird. I think that that's exactly. Can I tell you a story that you might want to edit out? So at work, we were watching a porn and in the porn, the guy was masturbating and he was masturbating, but like talking shit to the camera as if the camera was like a person. And then he was like, yeah, like I'm going to hit that slutty slutty case. Like, you know what I mean? Like he just kept saying the word like calling all the appendages like slutty. And then I came home and I tried that on you. And then I was just like, give me that slutty that you were like, why is it slutty though? Like you were not into it at all. I don't remember that. I played the fifth. Do you want to feel slutty? I don't. I don't. I want to feel like an item that is is treasured. You know, I want to feel like that. I want to feel like I'm for the streets. Well, you know, maybe it's verse psychology or something like you're not for the streets. So maybe in that moment in that cosplay, you want to feel like you are. And so maybe I'm for the streets. And I want to feel like I'm not. Okay. So the final activity we printed out sheets. And this is something that I found online. It's a free resource and I will link it in the info box below. It is a series of sexual activities. So the thing with this is based on kink play and fetish play. And a lot of BDSM obviously read through it. Now everything in the kink world is a no until you get a yes. In the vanilla world, it's often everything is a yes until someone has to tell you no. So they advise that every new sexual relationship you start with a sheet. Interesting. Yeah. Or even with your midway through and you did the sheet in the beginning, do it again. Like that way in the moment, you're never putting yourself or your partner in a position that they're like, I'm not comfortable with this. Yeah. And it's hard to probably say no in that moment. I feel like we talk about these things all the time. So. Okay. Well, let's see. Let's exchange papers. Oh, we're exchanging. Yeah. And then you tell me I may have answered these wrong because I will get to it when we get there. Why did you do one mark? So I did one mark. If I was like, you didn't give me all the all the rules. Well, that made the rules up as I went along. I did two X's if I want to do this thing soon. And I did half a mark. If I'm like, ah, if you really want to, I'd be interested. Okay. All right. Okay. So do you want to be spanked? See, that's the thing. I thought that it was. Well, it's either one. I'm asking you. No, I don't want to be spanked, but I want to do the spanking. I like to be. I like spanking though, too. So I can't do that. No, you can. I'm not against it, but it's not like if it gets you off, I'm down. But I'm not like, I want to be spanked. That's not like my thing. Well, we should probably do this again a second time and be like, what would you be okay with if it got me off? That's what the half mark was for me. Oh, okay. Like the half mark was like, not my thing. Make that a half mark. Okay, good. Sex with friends. Yeah. Yeah. I deeply want to have sex in with, not with friends particularly, but I want to have sex in the same room where friends also are. I think I've told you that before. Yeah, you have actually. Okay. You said no to anal plugs. Yeah, I'm not really, not really excited about anal plugs. Really? No, I don't mind licking or touching, you know what I mean? Yeah. But I don't really have a desire for an anal plug at this very moment. I don't feel like we've really tapped into like prostate play for you. I think you know. You mess with it with your hand. But that's not the same. An anal plug is like that's a specific tool design for this. For that, yeah. I mean, I'm not, yeah, that's not like on my bucket list right now. Could change. Okay. Fair enough. Double penetration. I can't even say it. You want to be double, double. You want to be double penetrated? Why is that funny? I don't know. Not by two people at this time. Okay. But a butt plug and having sex at the same time. Okay. That's what I mean. Like two different areas being engaged at once. Okay. Here's my question. So this is, I think, an area that we differ. Because look at my role play section, look at your role play section. So you only have two X's here. And how many do I have? Almost all of them. So I, we've never really done role playing before. I'm happy actually that you have two X's here. Because I feel like I would be into it, but I've always gotten a sense that it's just not your thing. I'm not really into it. I'm not really into role play. I think my style of role play, this is how I would want to do it. Not necessarily that we're different people. I'm putting on the plumber today or something like, I don't want to do that. But what I would want to do is like, let's say we go to a bar and you go in separately. I go in separately. I act like I'm there by myself. I see you at the end. I come up and try to like hit on you and then I take you home. Okay. That's like, but I'm still Jared and you're still Shan. Yeah. I don't want to do the thing where I'm like, all of a sudden I'm Brad Pitt today. Like I don't want to do that. But I would rather still, I'd rather put myself in real, I don't even know if that's role playing. It is, it's a formal role play. It's like, I'd rather put myself in a real life situation where it's like, I'm seeing you for the first time or something. I'm kind of into the whole plumber thing. Really? I think, but you know what's given me hope here is you clicked off schoolroom scenes. Yeah. Cause I mean, these other things are not like fear play. Like I'm not trying to be like, having sex with like, We've, I've tried to do one of these with you before and it did not go well. I'm not going to say which one cause it might be triggering for people. But we tried to do one before and I was like, let's pretend that. And then you were like, I am not okay. Which is great cause you advocated for yourself in the moment. But I feel like from that point on, I was like, oh, he's not really into that. But the fact that you clicked off schoolroom scenes, I think we're saying click off. It's marked with an X. You put X beside schoolroom scenes is hopeful to me. Cause of that, I think we can incorporate that. Yeah. You just have to be the teacher though. So you're going to have to be somebody else. That's fine. I could be Mr. Brady. Okay. Good. But yeah, these other ones, I'm like teaching me about the lighting. Yeah. Okay. Breath control. Do you want breath control? Do you want me to do breath control on you? How does that work? I clicked it off because I imagined it like, if I'm orgasm, you stop me breathing or something. Like something like that. It could be or even the lead up telling you to hyperventilate. Oh. So I've done sound baths before where they do breath play and sound baths, where they instruct you on how to breathe. And I find it very annoying. Oh, you don't like it. It can enhance your orgasm because oxygen, oxygen deprivation can cause to like enhanced sensitivity. Oh, okay. So some people can actually enjoy orgasming or pleasure more with breath play. So if you like that, I'd be down to do it with you. Okay. What do you feel like is the takeaway from this exercise for you? Like, how can we apply this to our sex life immediately? I could talk to you a little more slutty. Talk to you a little more dirty. Instead of just direction, I can, I can degrade you a little bit. I think for you, I can play more in the fantasy than I thought that I could before. But I also feel like it's a lot of what we're already doing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like what I got from this is like, just don't get too crazy. Really? That's what you got from that? I got from this that like, hey, we're in the right. What we do is what I like and I'm okay with adding more, but I'm also okay with where we're at. Okay. Okay. I'm being perfect. That's what I gathered. Yeah, I agree. I also gathered that I could focus more on the environmental thing. Yeah. Yeah. I think that, you know, it was a place of pride for me. And I'm actually trying to get more back into it. If you notice, like little stuff like, this is a place of deep pride for me right now. Oh, yeah. And I mean, like that's what that's about. Like these little things that I could do that just remind you like, woman. Yeah. Okay. You're doing a great job at it. All right. So everything that we have talked about in this video, we will put down in the info box for you to do again, whether you are partnered or you are solo. I think this is a great activity, even if you're not bored with your sex life. Good little checking. Speaking of the info box, that's where you can find a link to sign up to Squarespace. Squarespace has recently become a massive part of my business, as I mentioned in the other read, but I want to tell you more about what I have been doing with Squarespace and how that directly involves a lot of you. As many of you know, we have been partnering with Squarespace for about two years now, and that's because it just makes sense. I use it as a massive part of my business. It has changed the way that I interact with many of you. And as a result, I want you to know about it, and I want you to play around and try it for yourself. Now, before making this current video, I use Squarespace for my website just to tell you about my books and the cool things that I'm doing and tell you about myself. I also used it as my mailing list, so I can directly communicate with all of you. And now I'm using it as a tool to sell the educational materials that I have prepared and I'm ready to put out there into the world. So I've activated the e-commerce section on Squarespace. So whether you are out there and you want to directly connect with your audience, or you want to just have a one-stop shop to show off all the great things that you are and you provide in your business, or like me, you're out of space where you're ready to sell something, Squarespace is an incredible tool for you. It is easy to use, it is stunning, it is customizable, and best of all, you can utilize it and play around for absolute free. And when you are ready to launch, that's where my promo code can come in handy, because that's how you get 10% off your first purchase of a website or of a domain. And if you missed out on my first virtual weekend retreat, which sadly, I never got to bring it to my YouTube audience because I sold out before I was able to get here, please sign up for my mailing list, because those are the first people who know about the exclusive offerings and the things that I have going on that really excite me in my life.