 CHAPTER 33 That same day, Ricky, feeling neither poor nor aimless, left the Anzels for a night's visit to cat-over. His aunt had invited him, why he could not think, nor could he think why he should refuse the invitation. She could not annoy him now, and he was not vindictive. In the dell near maddingly he had cried, I hate no one in his ignorance. Now with full knowledge he hated no one again. The weather was pleasant, the county attractive, and he was ready for a little change. Maud and Stuart saw him off. Stephen, who was down for the holiday, had been left with his chin on the luncheon table. He had wanted to come also. Ricky pointed out that you cannot visit where you have broken the windows. There was an argument, there generally was, and now the young man had turned sulky. Let him do what he likes, said Anzels. He knows more than we do, he knows everything. Is he to get drunk? Ricky asked. Most certainly. And to go where he isn't asked? Maud, though liking a little spirit in a man, declared this to be impossible. Well, I wish you joy. Ricky called as the train moved away. He means mischief this evening. He told me piously that he felt it beating up. Goodbye. But we'll wait for you to pass. They cried. For the Salisbury train always backed out of the station and then returned, and the Anzels family, including Stuart, took an incredible pleasure in seeing it do this. The carriage was empty. Ricky settled himself down for his little journey. First he looked at the colored photographs. Then he read the directions for obtaining luncheon baskets and felt the texture of the cushions. Through the windows a signal box interested him. Then he saw the ugly little town that was now his home and up its chief street the Anzels' memorable façade. The spirit of a genial comedy dwelt there. It was so absurd, so kindly. The house was divided against itself and yet it stood. Metaphysics, commerce, social aspirations all lived together in harmony. Mr. Anzels had done much, but one was tempted to believe in a more capricious power, the power that abstains from nipping. One nips or is nipped and never knows beforehand, quoted Ricky, and opened the poems of Shelley, a manless foolish than you supposed. How pleasant it was to read. If business worried him, if Stephen was noisy or Anzels perverse, there still remained this paradise of books. It seemed as if he had read nothing for two years. Then the train stopped for the shunting and he heard protests from minor officials who were working on the line. They complained that someone who didn't ought to had mounted on the footboard of the carriage. Stephen's face appeared convulsed with laughter. With the action of a swimmer he dived in through the open window and fell comfortably on Ricky's luggage and Ricky. He declared it was the finest joke ever known. Ricky was not so sure. You will be run over next. He said, what did you do that for? I'm coming with you. He giggled, rolling all that he could onto the dusty floor. Now, Stephen, this is too bad. Get up. We went into the whole question yesterday. I know, and I settled we wouldn't go into it again, spoiling my holiday. Well, it's execrable taste. Now he was waving to the Anzels and showing them a piece of soap. It was all his luggage, and even that he abandoned, for he flung it at Stuart's lofty brow. I can't think what you've done it for. You know how strongly I felt. Stephen replied that he should stop in the village, meet Ricky at the lodge gates, that kind of thing. It's execrable taste, he repeated, trying to keep grave. Well, you did all you could, he exclaimed with sudden sympathy, leaving me talking to old Ancel. You might have thought you'd got your way. I have as much taste as most chaps, but hang it. Your aunt isn't the German Emperor. She doesn't own Wiltshire. You ass, sputtered Ricky, who had taken to laugh at nonsense again. No, she isn't, he repeated, blowing a kiss out of the window to maidens. Why, we started for Wiltshire on the wet morning. When Stuart found us at Sauston railway station, he smiled happily. I never thought we should pull through. Well, we didn't. We never did what we meant. It's nonsense that I couldn't have managed you alone. I have a notion. Sleep out after your dinner this evening, and we'll get thundering tight together. I have a notion I won't. It do you no end of good. You'll get to know people, shepherds, carters. He waved his arms vaguely, indicating democracy. Then you'll sing. And then? Plop. Precisely. But I'll catch you, promised Stefan. We shall carry you up the hill to bed. In the morning you wake, have your row with old Emily. She kicks you out. We meet, we'll meet at the rings. He danced up and down the carriage. Someone in the next carriage punched at the partition. And when this happens, all lads with metal know that they must punch the partition back. Thank you. I have a notion I won't. Said Ricky when the noise had subsided, subsided for a moment only, for the following conversation took place to an accompaniment of dust and bangs. Except as regards the rings, we will meet there. Then I'll get tight by myself. No you won't. Yes I will. I swore to do something special this evening. I feel like it. In that case, I get out at the next station. He was laughing, but quite determined. Stefan had grown to a dictatorial of late. The Ann Cells spoiled him. It's bad enough having you there at all. Having you there drunk is impossible. I'd sooner not visit my aunt than think when I sat with her that you're down in the village, teaching her laborers to be as beastly as yourself. Go if you will, but not with me. Why shouldn't I have a good time while I'm young if I don't harm anyone? said Stefan defiantly. Need we discuss self? Oh, I can stop myself any minute I choose. I just say I won't, to you or any other fool, and I don't. Ricky knew that the boast was true. He continued. There is also a thing called morality. You may learn in the Bible and also from the Greeks that your body is a temple. So you said in your longest letter. Probably I wrote like a prig for the reason that I have never been tempted in this way, but surely it is wrong that your body should escape you. I don't follow, he retorted punching. It isn't right, even for a little time, to forget that you exist. I suppose you've never been tempted to go to sleep? Just then the train passed through a coppers in which the gray undergrowth looked no more alive than firewood, yet every twig in it was waiting for the spring. Ricky knew that the analogy was false, but argument confused him, and he gave up this line of attack also. Do be more careful over life. If your body escapes you in one thing, why not in more? A man will have other temptations. You mean women, said Stefan quietly, pausing for a moment in this game, but that's absolutely different. That would be harming someone else. Is that the only thing that keeps you straight? What else should? And he looked not into Ricky, but past him, with the wandering eyes of a child. Ricky nodded and referred himself to the window. He observed that the country was smoother and more plastic. The woods had gone, and under pale blue sky long contours of earth were flowing and merging, rising a little to bear some coronal of beaches, parting a little to disclose some green valley where cottages stood under elms or beside translucent waters. It was wilt-shire at last. The train had entered the chalk. At last it slackened at a wayside platform. Without speaking he opened the door. What's that for? To go back. Stefan had forgotten the threat. He said that this was not playing the game. Surely I can't have you going back. Promise to behave decently, then. He was seized and pulled away from the door. We change at Salisbury, he remarked. There is an hour to wait. You will find me troublesome. It isn't fair, exploded Stefan. It's a low-down trick. How can I let you go back? Promise, then. Oh, yes, yes, yes, why MCA, but for this occasion only. No, no, for the rest of your holiday. Yes, yes, very well, I promise. For the rest of your life? Somehow it pleased him that Stefan should bang him crossly with his elbow and say, No, get out, you've gone too far. So had the train. The porter at the end of the wayside platform slammed the door and they proceeded towards Salisbury through the slowly modulating downs. Ricky pretended to read. Over the book he watched his brother's face and wondered how bad temper could be consistent with a mind so radiant. In spite of his obstinacy and conceit Stefan was an easy person to live with. He never fidgeted or nursed hidden grievances or indulged in a shoddy pride. Though he spent Ricky's money as slowly as he could, he asked for it without apology. You must put it down against me, he would say. In time it was still very vague. He would rent or purchase a farm. There is no formula in which we may sum up decent people. So Ansel had preached and had of course proceeded to offer a formula. They must be serious, they must be truthful. Serious not in the sense of glum, but they must be convinced that our life is a state of some importance and our earth not a place to beat time on. Of so much Stefan was convinced. He showed it in his work, in his play, in his self-respect and above all, though the fact is hard to face in his sacred passion for alcohol. Drink today is an unlovely thing. Between us and the heights of Scytheron the river of sin now flows, yet the cries still call from the mountain and granted a man has responded to them, it is better he respond with a candor of the Greek. I shall stop the thumpsons now, said the disappointed reveler. Prayers Rikki did not press his triumph, but it was a happy moment, partly because of the triumph, partly because he was sure that his brother must care for him. Stefan was too selfish to give up any pleasure without grave reasons. He was certain that he had been right to disentangle himself from Sosten and to ignore the threats and tears that still tempted him to return. Here there was real work for him to do. Moreover though he sought no reward it had come. His health was better, his brain sound, his life washed clean, not by the waters of sentiment but by the efforts of a fellow man. Stefan was man first, brother afterwards. Herein lay his brutality and also his virtue. Look me in the face, don't hang on me clothes that don't belong as you did on your wife, giving her saints robes, whereas she was simply a woman of her own sort, who needed careful watching. Tear up the photographs. Here am I, and there are you. The rest is can't. The rest was not can't, and perhaps Stefan would confess as much in time. But Rikki needed a tonic, and a man not a brother must hold it to his lips. I see the old spire, he called, and then added, I don't mind seeing it again. No one does, as far as I know. People have come from the other side of the world to see it again. Pious people, but I don't hold with bishops. He was young enough to be uneasy. The cathedral, a fount of superstition, must find no place in his life, at the age of twenty he had settled things. I've got my own philosophy, he once told Ansel, and I don't care straw about yours. Ansel's mirth had annoyed him not a little, and it was strange that one so settled should feel his heart leap up at the sight of an old spire. I regarded as a public building, he told Rikki, who agreed. It's useful, too, as a landmark. His attitude today was defensive. It was part of a subtle change that Rikki had noted in him since his return from Scotland. His face gave hints of a new maturity. You can see the old spire from the ridgeway, he said, suddenly laying a hand on Rikki's knee, before rain as clearly as any telegraph post. How far is the ridgeway? Seventeen miles. Which direction? North, naturally, north again from that you see Devices, the veil of Posi, and the other downs, also towards Bath. It is something of a view you ought to get on the ridgeway. I shouldn't have time for that. Or Beacon Hill, or let's do Stonehenge. If it's fine, I suggest the Rings. It will be fine. Then he murmured the names of villages. I wish you could live here, said Rikki kindly. I believe you love these particular acres more than the whole world. Stefan replied that this was not the case. He was only used to them. He wished they were driving out instead of waiting for the Cat's Church train. They had advanced into Salisbury and the Cathedral a public building was grey against a tender sky. Rikki suggested that, while waiting for the train, they should visit it. He spoke of the incomparable North porch. I've never been inside it and I never will. Sort of shock you, Rikki, but I must tell you plainly. I'm an atheist. I don't believe in anything. I do, said Rikki. When a man dies it's as if he's never been, he asserted. The train drew up in Salisbury Station. Here a little incident took place which caused them to alter their plans. They found outside the station a trap driven by a small boy who had come in from Catford to fetch some wire netting. But that'll do us, said Stefan and called to the boy. If I pay your railway ticket back, and if I give you six pence as well, will you let us drive back in the trap? The boy said no. It will be all right, said Rikki. I am Mrs. Faling's nephew. The boy shook his head, and you know Mr. Warnham. The boy couldn't say he didn't. Then what's your objection? Why? What is it? Why not? But Stefan lint against the timetables and spoke of other matters. Presently the boy said, Did you say you'd pay my railway ticket back, Mr. Warnham? Yes, at a bystander didn't you hear him? I heard him right enough. Now Stefan laid his hand on the splash board saying, What I want though is this trap here of yours, see, to drive in back myself, and as he spoke the bystander followed him in cannon. What he wants though is that their trap of yours see, to drive himself back in. I've no objection, said the boy as if deeply offended. For a time he sat motionless and then got down remarking, I won't rob you of your six pence. Silly little fool, snapped Rikki as they drove through the town. Stefan looked surprised. What's wrong with the boy? He had to think it over. No one had asked him to do such a thing before. Next time he'd let us have the trap quick enough. Not if he had driven in for a cabbage instead of wire netting. He never would drive in for a cabbage. Rikki shuffled his feet. But his irritation passed. He saw that the little incident had been a quiet challenge to the civilization that he had known. Organize, systematize, fill up every moment, induce their spirit to take core. He reviewed the watchwords of the last two years and found that they ignored a personal contest, personal truces, personal love. By following them Sastran's school had lost its quiet usefulness and become a froth of sea, wherein plunged Dunwood House, that unnecessary ship. Humboldt he turned to Stefan and said, No, you're right. Nothing is wrong with the boy. He was honestly thinking it out. But Stefan had forgotten the incident or else he was not inclined to talk about it. His assertive fit was over. The direct road from Salisbury to Cadover is extremely dull. The city, which got intended to keep by the river, did she not move there being thirsty in the rain of William Rufus? The city had straight out of her own plane climbed up her slopes and tumbled over them in ugly cataracts of brick. The cataracts are still short and doubtless they meet or create some commercial need. But instead of looking towards the cathedral as all the city should, they look outwards at a pagan entrenchment as the city should not. They neglect the poise of the earth and the sentiments she has decreed. They are the modern spirit. Through them the road descends into an intrusive country where, nevertheless, the power of the earth grows stronger. Streams do divide. Distances do still exist. It is easier to know the men in your valley than those who live in the next across a waste of down. It is easier to know men well. The country is not a paradise and can show the vices that grieve a good man everywhere. But there is room in it and leisure. I suppose, said Ricky, as the twilight fell, this kind of thing is going on all over England. Perhaps he meant that towns are, after all, excrescences, gray fluctuations where men, hurrying to find one another have lost themselves. But he got no response and expected none. Turning round in his seat he watched the winter sun slide out of a quiet sky. The horizon was primrose and the earth against it gave momentary hints of purple. All faded, no pageant would conclude the gracious day, and when he turned eastward the night was already established. Those verlands, said Stefan, scarcely above his breath. What are verlands? He pointed at the dusk and said, our name for a kind of field. Then he drove his whip into its socket and seemed to swallow something. Ricky, straining his eyes for verlands, could only see a tumbling wilderness of brown. Are there many local words? There have been. I suppose they die out. The conversation turned curiously. In the tone of one who replies he said, I expect that some time or other I shall marry. I expect you will, said Ricky, and wondered a little why the reply seemed not abrupt. Would we see the rings in the daytime from here? We do see them, but Mrs. Failing once said no decent woman would have me. Did you agree to that? Drive a little, will you? The horse went slowly forward into the wilderness that turned from brown to black. Then a luminous glimmer surrounded them, and the air grew cooler, the road was descending between parapets of chalk. But Ricky, mightn't I find a girl, naturally not refined, and be happy with her in my own way? I would tell her straight I was nothing much, faithful of course, but that she should never have all my thoughts, out of no disrespect to her, but because all one's thoughts can't belong to any single person. While he spoke, even the road vanished, and invisible water came gurgling through the wheel spokes. The horse had chosen the ford. You can't own a people. At least a fellow can't. It may be different for a poet. Let the horse drink, and I want to marry someone, and don't yet know who she is, which a poet again will tell you is disgusting. Does it disgust you? Being nothing much, surely I'd better go gently, for it's something rather outside that makes one marry, if you follow me, not exactly oneself. Don't hurry the horse. We want to marry, and yet I can't explain. I fancy I'll go waiting. This is our stream. Romantic love is greater than this. There are men and women, we know it from history, who have been born into the world for each other, and for no one else who have accomplished the longest journey locked in each other's arms. But romantic love is also the code of modern morals, and for this reason, popular. Eternal union, eternal ownership, these are tempting baits for the average man. He swallows them, will not confess his mistake, and perhaps to cover it, cries dirty cynic at such a man as Stefan. Ricky watched the black earth unite to the black sky, but the sky overhead grew clearer, and in it twinkled the plow in the central stars. He thought of his brother's future and of his own past, and of how much truth might lie in that antithesis of Ansel's. A man wants to love mankind, a woman wants to love one man. At all events, he and his wife had illustrated it, and perhaps the conflict, so tragic in their own case, was elsewhere, the salt of the world. Meanwhile Stefan called from the water for matches. There was some trick with paper, which Mr. Failing had showed him, and which he would show Ricky now, instead of talking nonsense. Bending down, he illuminated the dimpled surface of the Ford. Quite a current, he said, and his face flickered out in the darkness. Yes, give me the loose paper. Quick, crumple it into a ball. Ricky obeyed, though intent on the transfigured face. He believed that a new spirit dwelt there, expelling the crudities of youth. He saw steadier eyes and the sign of men who'd set like a bar of gold upon steadier lips. Some faces are knit by beauty, or by intellect, or by a great passion, had Stefan's waited for the touch of the years. But they played as boys who continued the nonsense of the railway carriage. The paper caught fire from the match, and spread into rows of flame. Now gently with me, said Stefan, and they laid it flower-like on the stream. Gravel and tremulous weeds leapt into sight, and then the flower sailed into deep water, and up leapt the two arches of a bridge. It'll strike, they cried. No, it won't. It's chosen the left, and one arch became a fiery tunnel dropping diamonds. Then it vanished for Ricky. But Stefan, who knelt in the water, declared that it was still a float, far through the arch, burning, as if it would burn forever. End of chapter 33, read by Gehinde of Bahtrec.com Chapter 34 of The Longest Journey This is a LibriVox recording, while LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. The Longest Journey by E. M. Forrester, Chapter 34 The carriage that Mrs. Failing had sent to meet her nephew returned from Cat Church, station empty. She was preparing for a solitary dinner when he somehow arrived, full of apologies, but more sedate than she had expected. She cut his explanations short. Never mind how you got here, you are here, and I am quite pleased to see you. He changed his clothes, and they proceeded to the dining room. There was a bright fire, but the curtains were not drawn. Mr. Failing had believed that windows with a night behind are more beautiful than any pictures, and his widow had kept to the custom. It was brave of her to persevere, lumps of chalk having come out of the night last June. For some obscure reason, not so obscure to Ricky, she had preserved them as mementos of an episode. Seeing them in a row, on the mantelpiece he expected that their first topic would be Stefan, but they never mentioned him, though he was latent in all that they said. It was of Mr. Failing that they spoke. The essays had been a success. She was really pleased. The book was brought in at her request, and between the courses she read it aloud to her nephew, in her soft yet unsympathetic voice. Then she sent for the press notices, after all no one despises them, and read their comments on her introduction. She wielded a graceful pen, was apt, adequate, suggestive, indispensable, unnecessary. So the meal passed pleasantly away, for no one could so well combine the formal with the unconventional, and it only seemed charming when papers littered her stately table. My man wrote very nicely, she observed, now you read me something out of him that you like. Read the true patriot. He took the book and found, let us love one another, let our children physical and spiritual love one another. It is all that we can do. Perhaps the earth will neglect our love. Perhaps she will confirm it and suffer some rallying point, spire, mound for the new generations to cherish. He wrote that when he was young. Later on he doubted whether we had better love one another, or whether the earth will confirm anything. He died a most unhappy man. He could not help saying, not knowing that the earth had confirmed him. Had she, it is quite possible, we'd meet so seldom in these days she and I, do you see much of the earth? A little. Do you expect that she will confirm you? It is quite possible. Beware of her, Ricky, I think. I think not. Beware of her, surely. Going back to her really is going back, throwing away the artificiality which, though you young people won't confess it, is the only good thing in life. Don't pretend you are simple, once I pretended. Don't pretend that you care for anything but for clever talk such as this, and for books. The talk, said Layton, afterwards, certainly was clever, but it meant something all the same. He heard no more, for his mistress told him to retire. And, my nephew, this being so, make up your quarrel with your wife. She stretched out her hand to him with a real feeling. It is easier now than it will be later. Poor lady, she has written to me foolishly and often, but on the whole I side with her against you. She would grant you all that you fought for, all the people, all the theories. I have it in her writing that she will never interfere with your life again. She cannot help interfering, said Ricky with his eyes on the black windows. She despises me, besides I do not love her. I know, my dear, nor she you. I am not being sentimental. I say once more, beware of the earth. We are conventional people, and conventions, if you will, but see it, are majestic in their way, and will claim us in the end. We do not live for great passions, or for great memories, or for anything great. He threw up his head. We do. Now listen to me. I am serious and friendly tonight as you must have observed. I have asked you here partly to amuse myself. You belong to my march past, but also to give you good advice. There has been a volcano, a phenomenon which I too once greatly admired. The eruption is over. Let the conventions do their work now and clear the rubbish away. My age is 59, and I tell you solemnly that the important things in life are little things, and that people are not important at all. Go back to your wife. He looked at her, and was filled with pity. He knew that he would never be frightened of her again, only because she was serious and friendly did he trouble himself to reply. There is one little fact I should like to tell you, as confuting your theory. The idea of a story, a long story, had been in my head for a year. As a dream to amuse myself, the kind of amusement you would recommend for the future. I should have had time to write it, but the people around me colored my life, and so it never seemed worthwhile. For the story is not likely to pay. Then came the volcano. A few days after it was over, I lay in bed looking out upon a world of rubbish. Two men I know, one intellectual, the other very much the reverse, burst into the room. They said, What happened to your short stories? They weren't good, but where are they? Why have you stopped writing? Why haven't you been to Italy? You must write. You must go. Because to write, to go, is you. Well, I have written, and yesterday was sent the long story out on its rounds. The men do not like it for different reasons, but it mattered very much to them that I should write it, and so it got written. As I told you, this is only one fact. Other facts I trust have happened in the last five months. But I mention it to prove that people are important, and therefore however much it inconveniences my wife. I will not go back to her. And Italy? asked Mrs. Vailing. This question he avoided. Italy must wait. Now that he had the time, he had not the money. Or what is the long story about then? About a man and a woman who meet and are happy. Somewhat of a tort of force, I conclude. He frowned. In literature we needn't intrude our own limitations. I am not so silly as to think that all marriages turn out like mine. My character is to blame for our catastrophe, not marriage. My dear, I too have married. Marriage is to blame. But here again he seemed to know better. Well, she said, leaving the table and moving with her dessert to the mantelpiece. So you are abandoning marriage and taking to literature, and are happy. Yes. Because as we used to say at Cambridge, the cow is there, the world is real again. This is a room, that a window, outside is the night. Go on. He pointed to the floor, the day is straight below, shining through other windows into other rooms. You are very odd, she said after a pause, and I do not like you at all. There you sit, eating my biscuits, and all the time you know that the earth is round. Who taught you? I am going to bed now, and all the night you tell me, you and I and the biscuits go plunging eastwards until we reach the sun. But breakfast will be at nine as usual. Good night. She rang the bell twice, and her maid came with her candle and her walking stick. It was her habit of late to go to her room as soon as dinner was over, for she had no one to sit up with. Ricky was impressed by her loneliness, and also by the mixture in her oven sight and obtuseness. She was so quick, so clear-headed, so imaginative even. But all the same she had forgotten what people were like. Finding life dull she had dropped lies into it, as a chemist drops a new element into a solution, hoping that life would thereby sparkle or turn some beautiful colour. She loved to mislead others, and in the end her private view of false and true were obscured, and she misled herself. How she must have enjoyed their errors over Stefan. But her own error had been greater in as much as it was spiritual entirely. Layton came in with some coffee, feeling it unnecessary to light the drawing-room lamp for one small young man. He persuaded Ricky to say he preferred the dining-room. So Ricky sat down by the fire, playing with one of the lumps of chalk. His thoughts went back to the Ford, from which they had scarcely wandered. Still he heard the horse in the dark drinking. Still he saw the mystic rose in the tunnel dropping diamonds. He had driven away alone, believing the earth had confirmed him. He stood behind things at last, and knew that conventions are not majestic, and that they will not claim us in the end. As he mused, the chalk slipped from his fingers and fell in the coffee-cup which broke. The china, said Layton, was expensive. He believed it was impossible to match it now. Each cup was different. It was a harlequin set. The saucer without the cup was therefore useless. Would Mr. Eliot please explain to Mrs. Failing how it happened? Ricky promised. He would explain. He had left Stefan preparing to bathe, and had heard him working upstream like an animal, splashing in the shallows, breathing heavily as he swam the pools. At times reeds, snapped, or clods of earth were pulled in. By the fire he remembered it was again November. Should you like a walk? he asked, Layton, and told him who stopped in the village tonight. Layton was pleased. At nine o'clock the two young men left the house, under a sky that was still only bright in the zenith. It will rain tomorrow, Layton says. My brother says, fine tomorrow. Fine tomorrow, Layton echoed. Now which do you mean? asked Ricky laughing. Since the plumes of the fir trees touched over the drive only a very little light penetrated. It was clear outside the lodge gate, and bubbles of air, which wilt shire seemed to have travelled from an immense distance, broke gently and separately on his face. They paused on the bridge. He asked whether the little fish and the bright green weeds were here now as was in the summer. The footmen had not noticed. Over the bridge they came to the crossroads of which one led to Sellsbury and the other up through the string of villages to the railway station. The road in front was only the Roman road, the one that went on to the downs. Turning to the left they were in Cadford. He will be with a thompsons, said Ricky looking up at dark eaves. Perhaps he's in bed already. Perhaps he will be at the antelope. No, tonight he is with a thompsons. With a thompsons. After a dozen paces he said, the thompsons have gone away. Where? Why? They were turned out by Mr. Wilbram on account of our broken windows. Are you sure? Five families were turned out. That's bad for Stefan, said Ricky after pause. He was looking forward. Oh, it's monstrous in any case. But the thompsons have gone to London, said Layton. Why, that family, they say it's been in the valley hundreds of years and never got beyond shepherding, to various parts of London. Let us try the antelope, then. Let us try the antelope. The inn lay in the village. Ricky hastened his pace. This tyranny was monstrous. Some men of the age of undergraduates had broken windows, and therefore they and their families were to be ruined. The fools who govern us find it easier to be severe. It saves them trouble to say, the innocent must suffer with the guilty. It even gives them a thrill of pride. Against all this wicked nonsense. Against the Wilbrams and Pembrokes who try to rule our world Stefan would fight till he died. Stefan was a hero. He was a law to himself and rightly. He was great enough to despise our small moralities. He was attaining love. This evening Ricky caught Anzel's enthusiasm and felt it worthwhile to sacrifice everything for such a man. The antelope, said Layton, those lights under the greatest elm. Would you please ask if he's there and if he'd come for a turn with me? I don't think I'll go in. Layton opened the door. They saw a little room, blue with tobacco smoke. Flanking the fire were deep settles hiding all but the legs of the men who lounged in them. Between the settles stood a table covered with mugs and glasses. The scene was picturesque, fairer than the cut glass palaces of the town. Oh yes, he's there, he called, and after moments hesitation came out. Would he come? No, I shouldn't say so, replied Layton with a furtive glance. He knew that Ricky was a milk-sup. First night, you know, sir, among old friends. Yes, I know, said Ricky, but he might like a turn down the village. It looks stuffy inside there and poor fun probably to watch others drinking. Layton shut the door. What was that he called after you? Oh nothing, a man when he's drunk he says the worst he's ever heard, at least, so they say. A man when he's drunk. Yes, sir, but Stefan isn't drinking. No, no, he couldn't be. If he broke a promise, I don't pretend he's a saint, I don't want him one, but it isn't in him to break a promise. Yes, sir, I understand. In the train he promised me not to drink, nothing theatrical just a promise for these few days. No, sir. No, sir, stamped Ricky. Yes, no, yes. Can't you speak out? Is he drunk or isn't he? Layton, justly exasperated, cried. He can't stand and I've told you so again and again. Stefan, shouted Ricky, darting up the steps. Heat and the smell of beer awaited him and he spoke more furiously than he had intended. Is there anyone here who's sober? He cried. The landlord looked over the bar angrily and asked him what he meant. He pointed to the deep settles. Inside there he's drunk, tell him he's broken his word and I will not go with him to the rings. Very well you won't go with him to the rings, said the landlord, stepping forward and slamming the door in his face. In the room he was only angry, but out in the cool air he remembered that Stefan was a law to himself. He had chosen to break his word and would break it again. Nothing else bound him. To yield to temptation is not fatal for most of us, but it was the end of everything for a hero. He's suddenly ruined, he cried, not yet remembering himself. For a little he stood by the elm tree, clutching the ridges of its bark. Even so would he wrestle tomorrow and Stefan, imperturbable reply, My body is my own. Or worse still, he might wrestle with a plying Stefan who promised him glibly again. While he prayed for Miracle to convert his brother, it struck him that he must pray for himself, for he, too, was ruined. Why, what's the matter? asked Layton. Stefan's only being with friends, Mr. Eliot, sir. Don't break down. Nothing's happened bad. No one's dead yet or even hurt themselves. Ever kind he took hold of Ricky's arm and pitying such a nervous fellow set up with him for home. The shoulders of Orion rose behind them over the topmost boughs of the elm. From the bridge the whole constellation was visible, and Ricky said, May God receive me and pardon me for trusting the earth. But Mr. Eliot, what have you done that's wrong? Gone bankrupt Layton for the second time, pretended again that people were real. May God have mercy on me. Layton dropped his arm, though he did not understand a chill of disgust passed over him, and he said, I will go back to the antelope. I will help them put Stefan to bed. Do. I will wait for you here. Then he lent against the parapet, and prayed passionately, for he knew that the conventions would claim him soon. God was beyond them, but ah, how far beyond them to be reached after what degradation. At the end of this childish detour his wife awaited him, not less surely because she was only his wife in name. He was too weak. Books and friends were not enough. Little by little she would claim and corrupt him and make him what he had been, and the woman he loved would die out in drunkenness and debauchery, and her strength would be dissipated by a man, her beauty defiled in a man. She would not continue. That mystic rose in the face it illumined meant nothing. The stream he was above it now meant nothing, though it burst from the pure turf and ran forever to the sea. The bather, the shoulders of Orion, they all meant nothing, and were going nowhere. The whole affair was a ridiculous dream. Leighton returned saying, Haven't you seen Stefan? They say he followed us. He can still walk. I told you he wasn't so bad. I don't think he passed me. I'd want to look. He wandered a little along the Roman road. Again nothing mattered. At the level crossing he leant on the gate to watch a slow good strain pass. In the glare of the engine he saw that his brother had come this way, perhaps through some sodden memory of the rings and now lay drunk over the rails. Wearily he did a man's duty. There was time to raise him up and push him into safety. It is also a man's duty to save his own life, and therefore he tried. The train went over his knees. He died up in cat over whispering, You have been right to Mrs. Failing. She wrote of him to Mrs. Lewin afterwards as, One who has failed in all he undertook, One of the thousands whose dust returns to the dust, accomplishing nothing in the interval. Agnes and I buried him to the sound of our cracked bell, and pretended that he had once been alive. The other, who was always honest, kept away. Chapter 35 From the window they looked over a sober valley, whose sides were not too sloping to be plowed, and whose trend was followed by a grass-grown track. It was late on Sunday afternoon, and the valley was deserted except for one laborer who was coasting slowly downward on a rosy bicycle. The air was very quiet. A jay screamed up in the woods behind, but the ring doves who roost early were already silent. Since the window opened westward, the room was flooded with light, and Stefan, finding it hot, was working in his shirt sleeves. You guarantee they'll sell, he asked, with a pen between his teeth. He was tidying up a pile of manuscripts. I guarantee that the world will be the gainer, said Mr. Pembroke, now a clergyman who sat beside him at the table with an expression of refined disapproval on his face. I had got the idea that the long story had its points, but that these shorter things didn't—what's the word? Convince is probably the word you want, but that type of criticism is quite a thing of the past. Have you seen the illustrated American edition? I don't remember. Might I send you a copy? I think you ought to possess one. Thank you. His eye wandered. The bicycle had disappeared into some trees and thither through a cloudless sky the sun was also descending. He's all quite plain, said Mr. Pembroke. Submit these ten stories to the magazines and make your own terms with the editors. Then I have your word for it. You will join forces with me, and the four stories in my possession, together with yours, should make up a volume, which we might well call penpipes. Are you sure penpipes haven't been used up already? Mr. Pembroke clenched his teeth. He had been bearing with this sort of thing for nearly an hour. If that is the case, we can select another. The title is easy to come by, but that is the idea it must suggest. The stories, as I have twice explained to you, all center around a nature theme. Pan, being the god of— I know that, said Stephan impatiently. Being the god of—alright, let's get ferrard. I've learned to that. It was years since the schoolmaster had been interrupted, and he could not stand it. Very well, he said, I bow to your superior knowledge of the classics. Let us proceed. Oh, yes, the introduction. There must be one. It was the introduction with all those wrong details that sold the other book. You overwhelm me. I never penned the memoir with that intention. If you won't do one, Mrs. Cain needs must. My sister leads a busy life. I could not ask her. I will do it myself since you insist. And the binding? The binding, said Mr. Pembroke coldly, must really be left to the discretion of the publisher. We cannot be concerned with such details. Our task is purely literary. His attention wandered. He began to fidget, and finally bent down and looked under the table. What have we here? he asked. Stefan looked also, and for a moment they smiled at each other over the prostrate figure of a child who was cuddling Mr. Pembroke's boots. She's after the blacking, he explained. If we left her there, she'd licked them brown. Indeed, is that so very safe? It never did me any harm. Come up, your tongue's dirty. Can I? she was understood to ask whether she could clean her tongue on a lolly. No nose, said Mr. Pembroke, lolly-pops don't clean little girl's tongues. Yes, they do. He retorted, but she won't get one. He lifted her on his knee and rasped her tongue with his handkerchiefs. Dear little thing, said the visitor perfunctorily, the child began to squal and kicked her father in the stomach. Stefan regarded her quietly. You tried to hurt me, he said. Hurting doesn't count. Trying to hurt counts. Go and clean your tongue yourself. Get off my knee. Tears of another sort came into her eyes, but she obeyed him. How's the great Bertie? he asked. Thank you, my nephew, is perfectly well. How came you to hear of his existence? Through the silts, of course, it isn't five miles to cat over. Mr. Pembroke raised his eyes mournfully. I cannot conceive how the poor silts go on in that great house. Whatever she intended, it could not have been that. The house, the farm, the money, everything down to the personal articles that belong to Mr. Failing, and should have reverted to his family. It's legal interstate succession. I do not dispute it, but it is a lesson to want to make a will. Mrs. Canes and myself were electrified. They'll do there. They offered me the agency, but he looked down the cultivated slopes. His manners were growing rough, for he saw few gentlemen now, and he was either incoherent or else alarmingly direct. However, if Laurie silt's a cockney like his father, and if my next is a boy and like me, a shy, beautiful look came into his eyes and passed unnoticed. They'll do, he repeated. They turned out wheel-bram and built new cottages, and bridged the railway, and made other necessary alterations. There was a moment's silence. Mr. Pembroke took out his watch. I wonder if I might have the trap. I mustn't miss my train, must I? It is good of you to have granted me an interview. It is all quite plain. Yes. A case of half-and-half division of profits. Half-and-half, said the young farmer slowly, what do you take me for? Half-and-half, when I provide ten of the stories and you only four. I stammered Mr. Pembroke. I consider you did me over the long story, and I'm damned if you do me over the short ones. Hush, if you please, Hush, if only for your little girl's sake. He lifted a clerical palm. You did me, his voice drove, and all the thirty-nine articles won't stop me saying so. That long story was meant to be mine. I got it written. You've done me out of every penny it fetched. It's dedicated to me, flat out, and even crossed out the dedication and tidied me out of the introduction. Listen to me, Pembroke. You've done people all your life, I think without knowing it, but that won't comfort us. A wretched devil at your school once wrote to me, and he'd been done. Sham food, sham religion, sham straight talks, and when he broke down you said it was the world in miniature. He snatched at him roughly, but I'll show you the world. He twisted him round like a baby, and through the open door they saw only the quiet valley, but in it a rivulet that would in time bring its waters to the sea. Look even at that, and up behind where the plane begins, and you get on the solid chalk. Think of us riding some night when you're ordering your hot bottle. That's the world, and there's no miniature world. There's one world, Pembroke, and you can't tidy men out of it. They answer you back, do you hear? They answer back if you do them. If you tell a man this way that four sheep equal ten, he answers back, you're a liar. Mr. Pembroke was speechless, and, such as human nature, he chiefly resented the illusion to the hot bottle, an unmanly luxury in which he never indulged, contending himself with night-socks. Enough there is no witness present as you have doubtless observed. But there was, for a little voice cried, oh, mummy, they're fighting, such fun, and feet went pattering up the stairs. Enough, you talk of doing, but what about the money out of which you did, my sister? What about this picture? He pointed to a faded photograph of Stockholm, which you caused to be filched from the walls of my house. What about—? Enough, let us conclude this disheartening scene. You object to my terms, name yours, I shall accept them. It is futile to reason with one who is the worst for drink. Stephen was quiet at once. Steady on, he said gently. Steady on in that direction. Take one-third for your four stories and the introduction, and I will keep two-thirds for myself. Then he went to harness the horse while Mr. Pembroke, watching his broad back, desired to bury a knife in it. The desire passed partly because it was unclerical, partly because he had no knife, and partly because he soon blurred over what had happened. To him, while criticism was rudeness, he never heated it, for he never needed it. He was never wrong. All his life he had ordered little human beings about, and now he was equally magisterial to big ones. Stephen was a fifth-form, loud whom, owing to some flaw in the regulations, he could not send up to the headmaster to be kinged. This attitude makes for tranquility. Before long he felt merely an injured martyr. His brain cleared. He stood deep in thought before the only other picture that the bear room boasted, the demitter of Snidus. Outside the sun was sinking, and its last rays fell upon the immortal features and the shattered knees. Sweet peas offered their fragrance, and with it they entered those more mysterious scents that come from no one flower or clot of earth but from the whole bosom of evening. He tried not to be cynical, but in his heart he could not regret that tragedy already half-forgotten, conventionalised, indistinct. Of course, death is a terrible thing, yet death is merciful when it weeds out a failure. If we look deep enough, it is all for the best. He stared at the picture and nodded. Stefan, who had met his visitor at the station, had intended to drive him back there, but after their spurt of temper he sent him with the boy. He remained in the doorway, glad that he was going to make money, glad that he had been angry, while the glow of the clear sky deepened, and the silence was perfected, and the scents of the night grew stronger. Old vagrancy is awoke, and he resolved that dearly as he loved his house he would not enter it again till dawn. Good night, he called, and then the child came running, and he whispered, quick then bring me a rug. Good night, he repeated, and a pleasant voice called through an upper window. Why, good night, he did not answer until the child was wrapped up in his arms. It is time that she learned to sleep out, he cried. If you want me, we're out on the hillside, where I used to be. The voice protested, saying this and that. Stewards in the house, the man, and it cannot matter, and I am going anyway. Stefan, I wish you wouldn't, I wish you wouldn't take her. Promise me you won't say foolish things to her. Don't, I wish you'd come up for a minute. The child whose face was laid against his felt the muscles in it harden. Don't tell her foolish things about yourself, things that aren't any longer true, don't worry her with old dead's dreadfulness, to please me don't. Just tonight I won't, then. Steve, you dear, please me more, don't take her with you. At this he laughed impertently. I suppose I'm being kept in line, she called, and though he could not see her, she stretched her arms towards him. For a time he stood motionless under her window, musing on his happy tangible life. Then his breath quickened, and he wondered why he was here, and why he should hold a warm child in his arms. It's time he were starting. He whispered and showed the sky, whose orange was already fading into green. Wish everything good night. Good night, dear mummy, she said sleepily. Good night, dear house. Good night, you pictures, long pictures, stone lady. I see you through the window, your faces are pink. The twilight descended. He rested his lips on her hair, and carried her without speaking until he reached the open down. He had often slept there himself, alone, and on his wedding night, and he knew that the turf was dry, and that if you laid your face to it you would smell the time. For a moment the earth aroused her, and she began to chatter. My prayers, she said anxiously. He gave her one hand, and she was asleep before her fingers had nestled in its palm. Their touch made him pensive, and again he marveled why he, the accident, was here. He was alive, and had created life by whose authority. Though he could not phrase it, he believed that he guided the future of our race in that century after century. His thoughts and his passions would triumph in England. The dead who had evoked him, the unborn whom he would evoke, he governed the paths between them by whose authority. Out in the west lay Caddover in the fields of his earlier youth, and over them descended the crescent moon. His eyes followed her decline, and against her final radiance he saw, or thought he saw, the outline of the rings. He had always been grateful, as people who understood him knew. But this evening his gratitude seemed a gift of small account. The ear was deaf, and what thanks of his could reach it. The body was dust, and in what ecstasy of his could it share. The spirit had fled in agony and loneliness, never to know that it bequeathed him salvation. He filled his pipe and then sat pressing the unlit tobacco with his thumb. What am I to do, he thought. Can he notice the things he gave me? A person would know. But what's a man like me to do, who works all his life out of doors? As he wandered, the silence of the night was broken. The whistle of Mr. Pembroke's train came faintly, and a lured spot passed over the land. Past and the silence returned. One thing remained that a man of his sort might do. He bent down reverently and saluted the child to whom he had given the name of their mother.