 Respected viewers, brothers and sisters in Islam as-salamu alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh Welcome to another show live from Karbala where we discussed over the past few episodes orphans in the Quran and humility in the Quran as well as human life in the Holy Quran For the respected viewers who didn't get the chance to actually see the previous episodes can go on to our YouTube channel at Mohsen TV3 and check out the uploads and as well as the episodes but today let's welcome Sayed Hussain Qazmini once again our dear guests, Salamu alaykum Sayyidina, how are you? Alhamdulillah, hope you are well insha'Allah, Alhamdulillah, so tonight Sayyidina insha'Allah we will discuss respect to parents in the Holy Quran, we always see Allah SWT within the Holy Quran and he always instructs children to be respectful to parents and we don't see that with the parents mentioned by Allah SWT to respect the children so if you can emphasize on that insha'Allah Bismillah ar-Rahman ar-Raheem, Alhamdulillah ar-Rahman ar-Rahman ar-Rahim, Alhamdulillah ar-Rahman ar-Rahman ar-Rahman Alhamdulillah ar-Rahman ar-Rahman Alhamdulillah ar-Rahman ar-Rahman We see that Allah SWT mentions parents, your parents, your parents or your parents at least seven times, at least, perhaps even more but in the context of how children should treat their parents, at least seven verses there might be other verses that talk about inheritance for example and so on, general laws and these verses, these seven verses are always emphasizing on how children should treat parents goodness to parents, kindness to parents, forgiveness to parents, so on and so forth but we never see the Quran reminding parents to take care of their children never, never, except there is one verse, I believe in Surah An-Nisa And this is only regarding inheritance, that Allah is giving the laws of inheritance to parents that a man shall receive double the amount of a female this verse is not instructing parents how to treat their children all the other verses, it's instructing children how to treat their parents the reason, my dear brother and my dear viewers simply is that parents don't need a reminder parents don't need instructions as how to treat their children a father or a mother never needs someone to tell them listen, feed your child don't sleep tonight if your son or daughter is hungry make sure that they get an education, make sure that they are well fed, well clothed, so on and so forth never, because Allah SWT has put it in their system biologically, parents are biologically engineered to take care of their children there's a gene, we human beings have a gene and I'm sure that you've come across this when you studied biology I remember when I studied biology back in college, I remember I studied this that there's a gene in us in every human being called fight or flight gene when a human being is in danger or is in a very difficult situation he has genes that tell him either fight it, fight that situation or flight, flee, run away how did they discover this gene? scientists discovered this gene from a mother that was crossing the road with a baby stroller the baby's in the stroller, she's crossing the street and all of a sudden a car passes by doesn't notice the mom and the child, takes a break but isn't the car comes very close the mother all of a sudden picked up the car this is not Hollywood, this is not fiction, this is not a fairy tale or a hadith mentioned in Sahih Al-Bukhari no, this is a true story that happened I believe in the United States of America they discovered that we human beings have genes in us that in difficult situations these genes either give us the capability of fleeing, running away or fighting this mother had the genes, had the energy to pick up a car, not to save her life if she was alone she would have probably ran across the street but she picked up the car because of the child because of the child, we're biologically engineered to take care of our children but children are now biologically engineered to take care of their parents in fact, most children end up forgetting their parents they forget about their parents, they forget about their duties towards their parents when they grow up, when they have families of their own they have children of their own, children are in school, they get married the children get married, they have children of their own, they're busy with their lives most of the times they'll end up neglecting their parents we've heard so many stories, especially in the West especially in the West of children neglecting their parents or putting them in old age homes putting them in nurseries, nursing homes for the elderly in the United States of America, wherever you go you see nursing homes for the elderly there's a lot there's a lot, why? because this son or daughter is too busy with work they're too busy with their own families they're now willing to take care of this aging father and mother these two parents that spend the best years of their life taking care of this child get this child now, he's too busy with his own life in that situation, because they took care of their children that child that neglected them and in the end this is how they pay them back I remember when we used to live in the United States of America we had a neighbor he was a heart surgeon and he became old, him and his wife became old his wife passed away and he stayed by himself and then he got Alzheimer's he was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease and he was by himself one day I saw his son had come all the way from Arizona we were in California Arizona by car it's at least 10 to 12 hours away he came and he was taking his father I was very surprised that this man is going to take his father with him into his house and take care of him so I asked him that you're taking your father I told him you're taking your father he said yes, I'm taking him to Arizona with me I told him you know what? I'm very proud of you this is excellent that you're going to bring him to your house and take care of him and your wife is a lovely... I didn't say I'm going to bring him to my house I'm just going to put him in a nursing house with the elderly close to my house I said well, there you go that's how it is in the West that this father, I was thinking to myself that this father ever think of putting his child at a nursery get rid of his son and just go and visit him once a week or once every two weeks in the United States of America and Europe most children and what I mean by children is sons and daughters they might be 40 or 50 years old but they're still children compared to their parents most of them, they rarely ask about their parents probably just on Christmas Christmas is the only time in which they ask about their parents or in the West they came up with Father's Day and Mother's Day because mothers and fathers are so neglected that they had to dedicate an entire day out of the year for mothers and fathers I gave a lecture once on Mother's Day a couple of years back in the lecture I said listen, in Islam every day is Mother's Day every day is Father's Day we don't dedicate one day out of the year for our mothers and fathers every day is Mother's Day and Father's Day thus Islam, the Quran comes and emphasizes emphasizes on parents because Allah knows that children when they grow up they'll be busy with their own lives and they'll neglect their parents that's the need of a reminder not once, not twice, at least seven times at least seven reminders that you need to take care of your parents that's significant because not only taking care and respecting your parents Allah SWT states in the Quran and kindness to your parents this verse is unique because it teaches us that in the same chapter as well inshallah you will discuss it but even non-Muslim parents Allah SWT or parents that are actually Muslim but they tell their children not to obey Allah SWT and take care of them and respect them so if you can emphasize and how should we be kind to our parents we have several verses that mention ihsan ihsan is kindness and one verse وَقَضَ رَبْكَ اللَّا تَعْبُدُوا اللَّئِيَهُ وَبِلْ وَالَدَيْنِ and another verse وَالْصْطِينَ الْإِنْسَانَ بِوَالِدَيْهِ اِحْسَانَ and a third verse وَعْبُدُ اللَّهُ وَلَاتُ شْرْكُوبِهِ وَبِلْ وَالَدَيْنِ اِحْسَانَ اِحْسَانَ means kindness kindness is more than just respect respect is for example not saying anything harsh not shouting but it doesn't necessarily mean being kind you could respect someone without being kind to them you could obey someone the Quran doesn't just say obey your parents but I could say just obey your parents no more than that more than respect and obedience kindness because kindness entails respect you can't be kind to someone without respect you have to respect them you can't be kind to your parents without obeying them you can't be disobedient and at the same time you want to be kind kindness entails respect entails obedience entails all these good qualities kindness spending on them in fact in fact in Islam spending on parents is wajib it's mandatory it's mandatory it's mandatory to spend on your parents when you have money and your parents don't have money they can't make an income you don't say well let them go get income benefits or welfare or social security from country to country it varies no you go spend you spend if your parents need money you have to it's a must Allah SWT will hold you accountable I've seen some that nag that whine why do I have to spend on my mother I've given her so much it's enough did your mother say enough when she was raising you and the thing is that she buried you in her stomach in her room for almost nine months did your father say it's enough I have to go to work from early in the morning to late in the evening to bring you food to make money for you and your brothers and sisters until you became 18-20 for 20 years we've seen that a lot if you spend a couple of dollars on your parents you have to say it's enough let my other brothers spend on them they fight they run away from responsibility towards parents that's a shame parents they fight over the child who takes care of them who sleeps next to the child but when it comes time for children to take care of their parents they run away from the responsibility let my brother do this let my sister do this if it's an aging mother she needs someone to sleep next to her give her her medicine take her to the doctor the children they flee to others this is a shame the Quran says kindness to parents thus it's a financial obligation to spend my parents spend time with them sometimes parents don't need anything other than your company your company they just want someone especially at an old age when they're by themselves they need someone to go and sit with them or at least listen if you don't want to speak, listen especially the elderly they have a lot to say they have old stories they have a lot of experience there's so much to learn from the elderly and old people because they're full of wisdom they're full of experiences they're full of stories they've seen civilizations fall dictators and presidents and dynasties there's so much to learn from our parents and that's significant as well but going back to the first episode when we discussed orphans you brought up a very significant point about how parents are the only people who want the best for their children to benefit their children when they grow up they tend to forget that but how can we be thankful to our parents thanking our parents Allah SWT states in the Qur'an I thank you I thank you and your parents thank me and thank your parents as well thus we sometimes forget this to say thank you to our parents to thank them you know it's two words it's two words but in Arabic it's one shukr in Arabic it's one in English it's two in maybe other languages it's only one in Urdu it's shukria in Farsi they say merci it's one word but this word has a major impact on every human when you do a good deed when you do something good when someone tells you shukr you feel appreciated you feel respected you feel that your work didn't go unrecognized well what about parents that do so much for us that do so much for us don't they deserve a thank you don't they deserve a thank you I remember once I came late from college I was stuck in traffic 15 30 minutes late my mother was so panicked she was so worried they were about to call the police say with my mother and I'm sure all of my dear viewers they have a similar experience there is nothing like the heart of a mother nothing like the heart of a mother she worries so much do we thank her do we thank our parents for their dedicated work for their hard work now we're sitting here in between these two shrines our dear viewers are watching this blessed channel in the name of Imam Hussain the who should we thank after Allah our parents if it wasn't for our parents we wouldn't be here we wouldn't be in Karabata we wouldn't be lovers of Imam Hussain we wouldn't be fasting in the month of Ramadan who taught us these things we were taught by our parents if our parents never fasted we wouldn't have fasted either we wouldn't have prayed either thanks to our parents that they taught us these things you see that is why Allah swt emphasizes on parents after worship after worship right after worshiping him kindness to parents that's how important it is Allah could have said he could have mentioned prayers fasting no parents emphasize on parents pray to Allah worship Allah do not take partners with Allah immediately after Allah parents that's how significant they are and when we say thank thank parents thanking doesn't necessarily need to be with words thanking could be with actions when you're there for your parents when you serve them at times of need and now it's even easier just a text message text message ask about your parents if you live in a distant city call text message send a small message there's so much you could do for your parents that's how you thank them it's not just by words by actions as well when talking about kindness under that umbrella falls humbleness being humble to parents when someone in the previous episode humility in the Quran this happened to me as well to many of the youth when our parents say something to us sometimes when they repeat it we get frustrated with how much they repeat something Allah says the smallest word two letters in Arabic when they say something the Quran says it don't even say that when it comes to humbleness to what extent should we be humble to our parents Allah says in the Quran and we mentioned this yesterday Allah says lower your wings in humility for your parents Dhul Dhul is more than humility Dhul is really lowering yourself lowering yourself is not required it's not even a good quality humility is a good quality being humble showing humility yes but not too much lowering except when it comes to parents lower yourself we have a good quality it is a good deed that we should all perform and that is to embrace the hands of our parents some people find it shameful some find it shameful some some children some sons and daughters they call their parents by their first names something very normal to call your parents Dave, John, Mary they call them by their first first names and their parents allow them to do so because they want to be friends with their sons and daughters this is shameful be humble, show humility to your parents embrace their hands embrace their feet if they allow you to yeah we'll touch upon that in the Quran says don't say don't say don't say that's the least thing that we do for example some parents tell their children take out the trash if you really don't feel like doing it you sigh you get frustrated you don't say anything else all you do is say don't even say Imam al-Sadiq in a hadith he says if the word smaller than that Allah would have mentioned it because that's the least thing that children could say towards their parents is of the Quran refrains them if there was something even smaller than that word the Quran would have mentioned it it's haram you can't say of you can't say of to your parents to this point don't yell at them don't raise your voice at your parents rather say good words I see a lot of children they shout at their parents they shout they raise their voice at their fathers at their mothers they yell at them they give their parents a hard time as if they're the boss at home they really hurt their parents they avoid eating just so that the parents will get worried and as children sometimes if you wanted to hurt our parents we wouldn't eat because when you don't eat your parents start worrying this is wrong you do this when you're 3 or 4 or 5 years old not when you're 15 not when you're 20 you don't go on a hunger strike don't raise your voice it has an effect those who are kind to their parents will have an effect on them those who are bad with their parents will also have an effect on them and with their children someone says if you're good with your parents your children will be good with you if you're bad with your parents your children will be bad with you Allah SWT even says whoever does a good deed whoever does a good deed even the smallest deed he will he'll see it he'll see it how about respecting our parents Prophet Yusuf A.S when he became an emperor and the king of Aziz al-Mas the emperor of Egypt his father came his brothers they came into his court when he saw his father he was about to stand for his father he hesitated for a moment he's a king now he shouldn't rise so quickly for a moment he hesitated and then he stood Jibril came to him he told him open your hands he took out a light a light he said this is the light of prophecy he's no longer a prophet? no, he's a prophet but the prophethood that was supposed to be in his lineage he got taken out where did it go? in his brother Lawi Lawi is the one in Surah Yusuf he said Lawi when he went to Egypt long story he refused to go back to Canaan the land of Palestine they told him why he said because my father said go back to Egypt and bring your brother Benjamin so I will not move until my father gives me permission Allah rewards him Allah rewards him for this statement he made the prophethood in his generation this is a big deal this is a big deal it's also important to add on to your statement there Allah says in the same chapter praying for parents is very significant as well verse is also great because as they raised me I pray for Allah may have mercy on them just like they raised me in my childhood so praying for parents Sayyidina this is a very important issue that sons and daughters pray for their parents whether their parents are alive or after they die especially once they're dead once they're dead one of the good things that a believer leaves behind is a son or daughter that prays for him this is comforting for all parents that when they die they think that this son or daughter will pray for me, send me good deeds send me salawat they will give charity on my behalf there is a hadith that says when the son of Adam meaning humans when they die their relationship with this life ends except with three things Sadaqatun Jariah of this person who died for example built an orphanage a mosque and people continue to benefit from it the reward keeps on coming to to he kept a piece of knowledge he took a theory lectures knowledge he kept knowledge for people to continue benefiting from or a righteous son or daughter that will continue praying for his father and son and another hadith that a good son and daughter bar a son and daughter that is good to his parents that is good to their life but once they die if he forgets to pray for them he will be considered disobedient to his parents because he forgot about them when they died he forgot to pray for them while on the other hand if a son or daughter that were disobedient while their parents were alive now that they died he prays for them he asks Allah to forgive them Allah will make him important to pray for our parents this should be part of our everyday dua in Salat after Salat, before Salat during Salat Al-Layn and say may Allah bless them bless them, have mercy on them the same way that they had mercy on me when they raised me as a child to offer parents how about non-muslims when it comes to non-muslim parents you see that either a mother or a father or both how should be should the sons or daughters respect or be kind to their parents the Quran addresses this the Quran tells us that if you have non-muslim parents if they tell you not to be Muslim if they tell you not to believe in Allah SWT you don't obey them obey your parents and good things and the good things even in the neutral things that are not wajib and not haram obey your parents, be kind to them accept, there's one exception if they tell you to disobey Allah if they tell you not to believe in Allah not to be a Muslim no, you don't obey them but at the same time you're still kind to them still show kindness to them be kind there's a verse that says don't obey them a companion to them in a good manner in a good way it means continue being kind to them in fact I became a Muslim and my mother I apologize my mother is still not a Muslim what should I do should I leave the house should I speak to her should I ignore her he said you know what were you kind to her before becoming a Muslim he said yes from today I want you to start being more kind more respect be more polite if you used to serve her even more now that you're a Muslim show her that this is coming from your Islam Islam is teaching you this Islam is teaching you to be kind to your parents this is a form of da'wah this is a form of da'wah when children show kindness to their parents now that they've accepted Islam parents will see that their children have changed they will come towards Islam they will come towards Islam I'll share with you a story couple of years ago I went to Australia I went to the city of Perth and there was an Islamic center there founded by a Muslim sister a lady she had established an Islamic center all by herself by Allah I was very very impressed and I was very proud of her anyhow she's originally half Iranian half Filipino if I remember correctly her mother is from the Philippines and who's still a Christian I believe she was a Catholic the mother told me her mother who was a Christian she told me she said when my daughter became Muslim she changed she became a better daughter she was good with me she became even better and I know this is because of Islam I know because this is of Islam I told her okay then you should become a Muslim in that case she said yes one day one day this is very beautiful you show your parents this is a form of Dawah parents will become they'll become Muslim because of this this year in Muhammad I was in Canada in the city of Edmonton a young man at the age of 17 had converted to Islam he came and he told me what a struggle it is how difficult it is and his parents now know that he's a Muslim and how difficult it is to try to deal with them but he was saying that I was I'm being as respectful as possible to my parents more than I was when I was following another religion I told them good keep it up the more you see pressure from them the more you show them kindness the more they try to boycott you or hurt you because you've converted another religion show more kindness this will have an effect later on in a couple of years they will realize that this is your Islam that's pushing you to be kind this will draw them near to Islam definitely and you mentioned mothers I mean when it comes to parents treating father it's different from treating the mother because a mother has that it's different from the father he's a bit aggressive when he talks when he deals with the child Allah swt peace be upon them they emphasize on mothers Luqman, peace be upon him or I think it was during the era of Saad Iqra not Luqman when a scholar asked for the students to bring sand from heaven no one brought anything the next day but a student brought sand he was shocked he's like where is this from it's from beneath the feet of my mother so mothers have a significant place the Quran tells us this again the Quran emphasizes on parents but more specifically mothers let's see the Quran says and we reminded man of his parents immediately mentions his mother that his mother carried him one on one one means with difficulty over difficulty difficulty and more difficulty and and we remind him to thank me thank Allah and thank your parents Allah mentions both parents but an emphasis on mothers and another verse again we reminded man of kindness to his parents to be kind to his parents his mother his mother carried him Quran means with anguish it means that sometimes she's fed up but she still carries him and when she gave birth with anguish she gave birth Islam emphasizes on mothers and really when we compare mothers and fathers we see that mothers go through so much hardship to raise their children first of all they're the ones that are pregnant not fathers pregnancy is difficult anyone who's married and has a wife knows realizes how difficult it is for a mother to go through pregnancy there's pain there's lack of sleep there's disorder and personality and sleep for nine months she has to deal with this pregnancy and then labor the pain of labor the pain after labor the lack of sleep the sleepless nights with a child who gets up in the middle of the night that wants to be breastfed the man turns around and he keeps on snoring he continues in his deep sleep and he snores but it's his wife it's the poor mother that has to get up and breastfeed she's the one that worries and then I came to Hajj it was in Mecca he said I carried my mother during Tawaf on my shoulders I carried her she couldn't walk so I carried her have I done justice have I returned the favor to her he said if you carry her around the Kaaba and in between Safa and Marwa and you do this 70 times you have in return the favor it's one of the strokes when she feels during labor one of the pains I have in return the favor of one of these strokes of pain I haven't done anything I haven't done anything another man comes to Rasulullah sallallahu alaihi wa sallam told me Rasulullah I've been aging mother and I've been aging father and I could only take care of one who should I take care of your mother your mother and emphasizes on the mother take care of your mother because mothers they go through a lot of difficulties a lot of hardship they don't just have when they become old it's not just about physical difficulty it's not just physical weakness it's also emotional they need someone to speak to to be there for them as Islam emphasizes on this and I don't think there's any other religion in the world other than Islam that emphasizes on parents on mothers and on fathers the way that the Quran emphasizes on parents and I just remembered a significant story a very touching story as well there was one scholar of course he came to Ziyara to pilgrimage to one of the shrines and hoping to see Imam Al-Hajja Al-Mahdi so there's specific traits and characteristics of the Imam so when they came when he came into the shrine waited for the Imam the Imam came but he couldn't get up to say salam to the Imam he saw the Imam going to a person to a young man who's not even dressed that well he said salam to him and left he got he was shocked he came again and saw the same action the next day so he he was saddened by this so the next day and he went to that person to that young man and asked him he asked the bomb they showed his house he went to him he saw him taking care of two paralyzed parents his dad was paralyzed his mother was paralyzed he cleaned after them he changed their clothes he did everything goes to him because he showed respect and kindness to his parents we came to a conclusion of the episode if you have anything to add on Sayyidina we ask Allah SWT to forgive our parents to have mercy upon them to elevate their status in this life and then in the next for all the troubles that they have spent raising us and making us followers of Ahlul Bayt and lovers of Amir al-Mu'mineen Rasulullah and the children of Imam Hussein Insha'Allah we learn from the lessons of Ahlul Bayt and the Quran so respected viewers brothers and sisters in Islam I would like to thank you for watching and insha'Allah this is the end of this episode and if you can log on to our social networking sites to discuss and ask any questions you would like from Sayyid al-Hussein al-Qazmini As-salamu alaikum As-salamu alaikum