 You know, I live in a pretty religious area. It absolutely sucks. I'm guessing the niggas that founded this place decided, you know what we should do? We should suck all the fun out of this location. Yeah, this location right here, drain that bitch. This place probably got more churches than people that reside in the city. The main reason so many people here are so religious, some people already know, cause I've mentioned this school before, but we got this private Christian university up on the mountains of the city. That shit magnetizes all the lunatics here, like a moth to a fucking nightlight. I don't think they'll be leaving anytime soon either, cause the taxes our local government gets off the college probably accounts for like three fourths of our city's yearly revenue. So these niggas are here to stay. Actually don't mind them too much, you know? Nine times out of 10, the students you encounter that go to the school, they're pretty nice. Yeah, most of them are really nice, but awkward as fuck. I think a good handful of them have been homeschooled. You know, a lot of Christian moms don't want their precious babies being exposed to heathens. They might do something crazy, like share their opinions with them or something. They're spooky. Again, I don't mind them, you know? They're pretty nice people. That being said, every now and then these motherfuckers like to get a little chummy. They like to start asking questions and poking around. I'm not talking about stuff like, oh, hey, where's the closest gas station? No, they'll ask you questions that pertain to their beliefs, right? Many times I'm on the job, they'll approach me and ask me some shit about, do you believe in Jesus as your Lord and Savior? First of all, why are you asking me this while I'm working? Like I'm forced to be here because I need to work and make money so I don't starve to death. This isn't like you're asking me this question on the street or at a cafe and I have the choice to leave the perimeter and avoid talking to you. It's literally my job to provide customer service because while I have the company uniform on, I represent the company. That being said, most of the times they asking the question, I just agree with them and lie. I'm like, yeah, Brody, I go to church every Sunday. Sometimes even that won't quench their thirst. Going to church and knowing God isn't the same thing. That's what some of them say, you know? I guess I failed the charisma check. Maybe I just look like a heathen, I don't know. But yeah, it's like every couple of days they'll stroll through my job and ask me the same thing and I'll respond the same way to get them off my case. But you know what? I'm getting a little tired of this shit, all right? The next religious motherfucker that asked me that question, I'm gonna tell him how I really feel. Do you believe in Jesus as God? God? God? My nigga, God is a whole bitch. That nigga is a bitch. He probably couldn't even last 25 seconds in the ring with me. I'd hit that nigga with such a mean right hook the universes would flip upside down. But sir, he died for your sins. Listen to me, God is a narcissistic, egotistical maniac that sends people to burn for all eternity just cause they not fucking with him. He better hope he send me to hell the moment I die. Don't even let me see the pearly gates cause I'mma bust them bitches down and break in a whatever heavenly palace that nigga is currently occupying. If I'm going to hell, I'm bringing God with me. Most people think Adam and Eve fumbled the bag or even the serpent that persuaded them to eat that fucking apple. No one is more responsible for the downfall of humanity than the rat himself, G-O-D. You're telling me this nigga is all powerful, all-knowing and he just let that shit happen? Well, he allowed them to have a choice. God made these two niggas and decided to test them with something he already knew they'd fail. Wait before they were even created. He knew they'd fail in doomed humanity. Nigga named the forbidden tree the tree of knowledge of good and evil. Nigga, that name is too cool. It's too cool. I wouldn't have just eaten one apple. I would have baked seven apple pies with that bitch. Imagine he named it the poop flavored tree that tastes like poop. Ain't nobody would've even looked at that shit, but God knew if he named it something exotic, them two motherfuckers would've got curious. And hold up, why did he give that serpent that persuaded them to eat the apple? Why'd he give that nigga the ability to speak English? Literal rat bastard. You're gonna go to hell talking about God that way. Good, send me to hell. I bet heaven born as a bitch anyways. And heaven, you're probably always in church 24 seven. Let's talk about how wonderful God is. Nigga, I don't care. Satan probably got some of the baddest bitches down there. Bitches so fine they fucked over 1,000 niggas on earth. Yeah, I get to see some action, like niggas getting tortured and shit. Better yet, I bet they got some chill ass demons and imps that's gonna let me borrow their little devil fork thing and they gonna allow me to do some of the torturing. The never ending fire that might be an issue though. I bet for the first three to four hours I'll be in excruciating pain. Ah, this hurts. Man, I shouldn't have made that video. By the sixth or seventh hour, I'm gonna be chilling. Yeah, this fire not so bad when she get used to it. And you know what, funny enough, if I end up going to hell, God already knew I'd go to hell before I was even born. So yeah, thanks for that, you bitch. You couldn't have just not made a nigga. Like this was the shit Satan had to deal with while he was in heaven, this narcissistic asshole. No wonder he challenged God. We need a Satan part two where he goes back to heaven and gets a couple licks in. Fuck influencer boxing. We need a deity boxing. Satan ain't even gotta win, but at least show these niggas how you feel, bro. But yeah, that's what I'm gonna tell these college students when they ask me these silly ass questions. They're probably gonna think I'm like the fucking antichrist or some shit.