 Hey everyone, how to get over the narcissist now people say that This isn't something you can just do overnight but like it takes time to detach yourself from the trauma bond and Well, that can be true I Think there are also some things you can do to get over them short-term. You know, you just got to For a start if you're still attracted to them You've got to start seeing them differently. You can't keep seeing them as like a Model or something like You know everything You want them to be like this fantasy Like they're just so handsome or beautiful What you've got to do is just Imagine them sitting on the toilet A public toilet Yeah, that's it. Imagine the narcissist Sitting on a public toilet. If that doesn't help you to get over the narcissist Nothing will so definitely try that one and You just got to see them differently, you know, they want to present this image as though they're so perfect They're like these beautiful creatures like You know, they're everything that everyone wants You've got to start remembering the things you never liked about them. We've all seen these narcissists at I was gonna say inappropriate, but that's that's not really the right word for this We've all seen them at less desirable times. I think that's fair to say So if you want to get over a narcissist You can't be thinking about all of the good times Like when they looked amazing in like a dress or a suit You need to remember them When they looked at their worst Remember those really embarrassing moments Like some of the most humiliating things That ever happened in the relationship That's what you need to be rumored on Like every time they're like they're trying to like attack you and put you down Well, they're like trying to triangulate you with a new supply start remembering Your knock. Well, I don't know if you Maybe you might have walked in on the on the toilet or something Or you could just imagine what that would be like Or for the guys, I don't know. Maybe you Maybe you saw your knock Maybe she didn't shave her legs or armpits for a few days. I don't know. It's funny, but When you're remembering this stuff, how could you possibly want to go back to that? What's attractive about that? So that's how you've got to see it. Of course once you've done that and You've taken the focus off the narcissist Then you can put the focus back in yourself On your own life remember All of the things that you like to do Before you got involved with a narcissist All of those hobbies and interests Whatever it was Maybe you like doing yoga meditation Maybe you just liked going for Walks on your own in nature All of these things You just got to put the focus back on yourself Remember that fire you had inside of you That passion That motivation that drive To do and accomplish things you were so passionate before you met the narcissist You had so much motivation Before you met the narcissist You were jumping out of bed to get things done, but then once you've been around them long enough It's like you didn't want to get out of bed. It's like no not another day That's just how it is, you know, they they just take The life and energy out of you, but once you've had some time away from them You can rebuild you can get that energy back You've just got to remember that person that you used to be Remember the energy you had That's what will motivate you to get back to yourself again, and that will help you to Finally get over the narcissist or you could always go back to remembering them on the toilet Dina Liddell asks can you please answer my super chat Okay, let me just scroll up here. Hey knock survivor My knocks have ruined me for Literally ever having friends again What should I do? um It sounds like what you're talking about is your knocks Have turned your friends into flying monkeys Or just the people in your community. Maybe people you haven't even met yet They've managed to turn them against you. They've started a media campaign against you Um In those situations People might think you've got to prove your innocence You've got to show them What a great person you are And to some extent that is what you have to do But it's not about Proving that the narcissist is wrong The more you try and prove them wrong The worst it's gonna look on you You don't have to defend yourself if you know you're right and if they don't If they believe in the narcissist then You're just you're just gonna have to let them go But there will always be other friends There will always be other people It's a big world out there The narcissist wants you to think that the world is so small But it isn't and when you leave their friends of their community You will realize that you will find that Not everyone thinks in the same way of these people do So I hope that helped. I hope that answered your question So getting over these narcissists It's like they just come into our lives and They take us off our purpose It's like maybe it's just to remind us How important our purpose is to us Maybe we don't truly miss it Maybe we don't truly appreciate it Until it's taken away from us And that's why When some people have been In the lowest place in their lives They managed to come back so much harder than before They've got so much more Motivation than they ever did before So even if the narcissist Leaves you behind in their pit of misery Don't think that it's all over Don't think that you can't go back to where you were before You've got to see it like You were the one who built yourself You were the one who made You who you were They didn't create you You never needed them And while they may have taken up your time A bit of your energy, maybe your money You have to remember They only got a batch of it You're the one with the formula They might have had a slice of the cake They might have had a piece of the pie But you've got the recipe You can make it again And that's how you get over the narcissist Instead of remembering them At their best and for the good times Remember the bad times And then get back to Focusing on yourself again It's raining today But I'm still gonna go out and Try to explore a bit We're going to be doing the second episode of Dealing with narcissists. What's your story? So If you would like to share your story on the channel Please send me an email Coachingatnarksurvivor.co.uk Thank you all for joining this live And I hope to see you all in the premieres later today