 So today, I'm going to respond to two questions from the group. One was regarding bread crumbing, and the other about when to meet his friends, or when is the timing about meeting someone's friends. So first off with bread crumbing, the question was what's the point of bread crumbing, and first I think it's important to kind of address what bread crumbing is, and think about it. Just dropping a little bit of crumbs in the relationship, or in the process of getting to know another person. It might be a text message to say hello, and then you don't hear from them for days, and then a text message, hey, how's your day going? And then you don't hear from them for a couple days. That would be an example of bread crumbing. Bread crumbing also might look like somebody who exudes a lot of enthusiasm one minute and then seems to fade away, and then comes back with a little bit of enthusiasm and fades away. So what's the point of this? I think we have to address versus the point of it, what's the why this is happening? Why would someone bread crumb? Well, I feel as though in many cases in the dating, mating, or relationship or relating process, if you will, a person might like somebody. Like them. Might like somebody. Doesn't mean that they like them 100%. Doesn't mean they like them 75%. Doesn't mean they even like them 50%. They might just have a small affinity for a person. And that small affinity keeps them in the loop of wanting to stay connected with you. And it could be driven by biology. It might be someone who's horny and wants sex. It's most likely a man, not a woman in this particular case. Or it might be that they like something about you. And yet they don't actually see the big picture of actually having a relationship with you. I feel like that's where the term, he's just not that into you showed up or came about is that this person might like something within you, but they don't see the big picture. And they may not be able to see the big picture for themselves whether or not seeing a big picture for you. Now that was critically important what I just said. They may not be able to see the big picture for themselves of what they want with respects to a fully committed relationship. This is probably true because most people, you know, I was raised, I'm just gonna share personally, I'm baby boomer. I was a little tail end baby boomer. I was raised to go to college, get a job, meet a girl, get married, buy a house, start a family, be a provider, protect her. That was like, I didn't know how to actually be a husband. I didn't know actually how to love in relationship. I just know the programming I had. And then after my divorce, I was completely lost to this programming. And in fact, because of the financial detriment, even being the provider protector didn't even seem within my realm. I know this might be seem like I'm going off on a tangent here, but I think it's really important. There are a lot of confused people out there. So if they don't see the big picture of the for themselves, it's very difficult to see the big picture for you. This is me looping it back together. So why does someone bread crumb? What's the point of it? You know, the real point is why would you accept bread crumbing? And what I mean to say is look, I'm here to, I'm here to introduce the concept, I've been talking about the concept of radical honesty, but I'm here to introduce something new. And I'm talking about accelerated dating, accelerated dating, what I've experiencing in my current relationship because it's a long distance dynamic for the moment. And they say for the moment because I'm not going to do long distance for a long period of time. It's allowed us to accelerate the relationship. And what I mean to say is we had two visits while I was in Chicago. And again, it wasn't even a planned date. I was meeting a friend and it turned out that there was a strong connection between the two of us and that strong connection. And I don't mean it was lust or limerence. I mean, it was like a real connection with another human being. Allowed us to then plan a second or a trip or for a trip for her to come out to visit me. And by the way, I'll get to the second topic in a second because it relates to this meeting friends. This accelerated process has allowed us to really get to know each other on a much deeper level because when she came to visit with me, we spent three days basically sitting on the floor in my living room, laying our cards on the table. I mean, really laying our cards on the table of who we are. And what I'm grateful is we're both incredibly introspective within ourselves, so we're able to share who we are, warts and all. And she even, you know, I'll be candid with you. She even shared with me, talk about radical honesty. I guess I was sweaty and I had some B.O. And she said, look, I just need to tell you this. She goes, this is very uncomfortable for me to tell you this, but I think it's important to share this with you. And I was like, whoa, I really do. And I went and cleaned up. But my point is radical honesty, laying on your cards on the table, being truthful with one another, warts and all, accelerated the process. So bread crumbing, coming back to bread crumbing, is, you know, this is because the process is dragging out. Look, we don't have time to eff around at our age, especially for those of us of midlife. So I'm here to introduce intense connection very early on, just to see if you're compatible with one another. Because this long drawn out process makes things linger for so long that it's hard to actually know if you're really with the right person. So I'm a big proponent of intentional dating, radical honesty, to avoid bread crumbing. Because that's the real point, is you want to avoid it altogether. So start with radical honesty to begin with. And again, in my coaching practice, that's what I teach you. So if you need some help with that, check out the link. I talk about it all day long. Just reach out to me at my website. Or go to my website and click the coaching button. OK, now let's talk about meeting friends. Because, you know, in our dynamic, so she, just coming back to what I shared a moment ago, we had the two days in Chicago. We had four days here, really intense. We built a little layer of trust. So two weeks later, she came out to visit again. And during this visit, you know, it's more of the day to day. Now I happen to work from home. She happens to be retired. So we actually have been literally living together, you know, in this period of time for an extended period, like an 11-day period. This isn't a traditional long distance relationship. This is intense connection. And when I say intense connection, I'm saying an extended period of really getting to know one another, which includes introducing her to my friends, meeting some of her friends, because she actually grew up in Los Angeles as well. I was able to introduce her to my son. I met two of her friends. She has now met several of my friends. We went out to dinner, had a really great time. And it's because I feel like this is a person I want to introduce in my life. So when is the time to introduce friends? It's when you actually feel like this is the person you actually want to invest in a long-term relationship. This is a person that you want to explore a deeper connection beyond the surface. You know, most people are dating at a surface level. She and I are in this space of like going deeper because we started with radical honesty, laying our cards on the table, and then we saw the big picture, or we're talking about the big picture of a relationship versus the micro parts of the dating process. And so when you see the big picture with somebody, that's the time to introduce them to friends. And so if it's dragged out, I know in the case of the member who posted the question, you know, it's been eight months, you haven't met friends. Well, you know, here's the thing. If he gets to have sex with you, you don't think about that. You know, I know I'm acting a little puritan here, but sex is a very coveted thing, or it should be a very coveted thing in my opinion. So why is it, you know, the man's penis gets to go inside your vagina and yet you're not able to explore the facets of their life? Folks, I'm here to say it's time to stop messing around. I'm here to introduce accelerated dating, intentional dating, radical honesty, because you wanna lay your cards on the table. Now it's only going to work if there's a real strong bond between the two of you. And what I mean is, let me rewind that. I said bond. If there's a strong connection between the two of you, and I don't mean a connection of lust or limerence. When I'm experiencing with her wasn't, I mean, certainly I'm very sexually attracted to her, but it wasn't lusting for her, and there's a big difference. And limerence is extreme infatuation. It's oftentimes, limerence is putting someone up on a pedestal, okay? I didn't put her up on a pedestal. I think she would say I put her beneath me. Now that's a little bit of my arrogance, but I felt like we were on equal footing. So this strong connection felt more, it's an indescribable thing. I think it's more of a spiritual thing, more than anything else. So because we had this strong connection, we did accelerated dating, we did intentional dating, we did radical honesty, we laid our cards on the table. We agreed, we're using my dating vows to agree to be monogamous, to be exclusive, to explore this relationship beyond the surface, to be intentional, to agree to speak up if something's coming up. Like when she mentioned the BO about me, you know, I'm really grateful she did that and I shared some things with her that didn't feel like we're misaligned and I even shared some of my fears in this relationship that could come up. Because we're both introspective. So is this gonna work long-term? I sure hope so, but like anything in life, there are no guarantees. Look, after losing my child, losing Connor, I know there are no guarantees in life, so I'm here to say you have a choice. Get busy living or get busy dying, bread crumbing, introducing to friends. The bottom line is this. If you wanna shift the narrative, I'm here to introduce accelerated dating, intentional dating, radical honesty, laying their cards on the table. That's what I teach in my private coaching. I teach you how to vet for emotional maturity from a man because here's the thing, and I said it a moment ago, just like in the line in Shawshank Redemption. You know, get busy living or get busy dying. I'm here to say, get busy being radical honesty or get prepared to possibly have something bread crumb its way into nothing and never meeting their friends. All right, I think you get the gist of where I'm going. Hey, I'd like post a comment below. I'd like to hear your thoughts on this one. This time went a little bit deeper and I'd like to hear your thoughts. As always, if you find value in the group, please tell your friends about Midlife Love Mastery. Send them to my website, jonathanasley.com. Have them click the group coaching button so they can join our fantastic group. And I'm gonna sign off this video as I always do. First off, giving myself a big, gigantic Jonathan Barak of self love. I'm gonna reach into the camera and give you a hug of love. I'm gonna ask you to turn to a friend, a pet, a teddy bear pillow and give Iter them a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love. And let's face it, we can all use more love in our lives. I wanna thank you a bunch. Bye-bye now.