 I Take a shuffle put shuffle in the car and I not to pay for shuffle Don't you come at me Pussycat you're selling me shit No, that's hectic shit up down up down up down up down up down Consciousness and we don't keep rockin. We don't know if she's gonna pop in there It's no welcome to episode number five of the mighty Michael fully actual podcast. Okay. This is number five. We are one eighth through the season Jesus happens quickly bro. I was like just the other day Just the other day it was like fucking Monday, bro, and now it's fucking It's Monday again. That's what it's probably the same It's the same. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I said that this morning. Yeah. Yeah, so it's the same So that just shows how slow time goes bro. That is so honest of you Matt's Just come home from work Again, he's just he's finished. He's trialling out as an Elvis impersonator didn't have time to change But yeah, he's done that and he's I guess Michael's just finished at his cricket training prostitution What at cricket training nothing about prostitutes Matt has sex with prostitutes. No, no. No, he's been prostituting And I have not Matt has had sex with prostitutes. He doesn't like talking about it. Let's pretend that we didn't say I wonder what one of Matt's prostitutes hairs probably kind of cuddle the prostitutes Oh, come on, man. I'm scared. It's a joke. Yeah. No, I'm scared Just say it's a joke. Yeah, I don't know. I don't like it. Come on man, please Do the same thing if you felt scared I would I would just say it's a fucking joke. I promise you look I will say it too. Look. I have had sex with prostitutes as well I've had sex with animals Matt Michael has had sex with dead prostitutes. They weren't even living they weren't prostitutes So it's all right. We're all in the world is a happy safe space. All right And yeah, don't worry. No Matt hasn't actually had sex with prostitutes. I've had sex with a chicken Look at me winking when I say that look it's been it's been a wild week We we all had quite a nice weekend. Yeah, pretty relaxing. Yeah, pretty hectic as shit We filmed some hectic website videos last week You know how piss when you get stung by jellyfish and you piss on it and it makes a pango way. Does that work? Yeah, it does. Yeah, it does. It does Matt. It fucking does reading inside It's look it's 50 50 you'll have to watch it. Yeah, we look we tested to see since you're in Relieves that pain does maybe you're in relieve other pain in in other areas, bro Because if it does the pharmaceutical company has got a big problem And it's called Marty and Michael baby We might have just come up with the best painkiller known a mankind and you don't know It's that's what we filmed last week. It might not be up for a little while, but fuck you everyone That's coming out. You know what's out right now brown golf Did you have a headache and get pissed on your head or something? No, no, look, I'm not gonna reveal There was some animal bites. I want to show browns a body piercing. I'm gonna show you something. All right. Let's see Peach is that a peaches show? Yeah It's proven that No, it's 50 50 you have to see there's some things that we does stop and there's other things that we does not stop We you saying or weed We we like you're in yeah, yeah, like hello. Hello Hello, hello, it's a brown golfers out. Yeah, a brown golf be out Oh, it's been out for a while actually because we're two weeks ahead. I keep forgetting also Something cool happened. We did a video on Instagram. It's again. It's like two weeks old now But I the hundred meter nut shot and guess who fucking commented on it. Look, do you know, Jeffrey? She doesn't know yet. Jeffrey Dahmer. Jeffrey Dahmer commented on very close same same words Yeah, yeah, actually let me guess Is it Johnny Knoxville? Oh, you do know I was gonna be like, holy shit, he gets it again. I wish you said Wendell sailor Johnny Knoxville commented on our video and was like, like, what'd he say again bravo said rise up rise up everyone rise up Stand against your government rise up people and stand together. We are strong and united and it was pretty fucking Sick and hectic bro. He's full political now other than that. Fuck me. We've been boxing. Look, I've been I'm I'm trimming down I'm exercise 11 times on a 10 times last week. What way to you 10 times How good that and like just not eating out and just fucking gone pretty hard. So it's going well for me You ate out of the hard shit No, I had yeah, you're right. I ate at three meals out of out of 21 last week And usually be honest but and no a healthy meal. Thank you Usually it would be probably half of those would be eating out Computer and me How's your training going Michael? Have you Michael was has been coming to boxing now I've been going to and I think I've come to the decision that I've just got to fucking do it So Michael's gonna do it. You realize now that you are a long way behind. Oh, yeah I know like it's bad and you're really much lighter than you should be right now. Yeah, well, I'm probably about 81 So like I'm like and and to be honest when I said, let's do this like at the end of last year. It was this was still like 25 weeks away. That's why I suggested that we do it. So you doing it now like I don't want you I don't want I just you because I'm if you get hurt You're gonna go Marty you fuck look are you fucking I told you reckon I could get real hurt No, I don't think that any of us are gonna get really badly get knocked out. That's about it Yeah, so as we got the biggest gloves that you can possibly have now 14 hours not 16. Oh, that's good We keep getting bamboozled with shit like yeah, they keep mixing it up a little bit They change it from three two minutes to four two minutes around now. Yeah, that's pretty bullshit. Yes So there must be must be doing lots of cardio Also What's the like lowest boxing ounce gloves that you can have is 14 the love 12 12 is a lot so we were in the middle I think enough 10 hours. What are you actually gloves to compare answers? I'm pretty sure. Oh, man Look, you've just I was confident now. I'm not Honestly think we'll be all right, you know, I think Michael if you go to that place If you think back to France when you're on that dance floor and you're shaping up to that French guy Just go to that dark Grubby place where you scrap and just and just like yeah, but that's Just evade and move because it's good money You're not gonna be like you're not gonna be fucking getting tired because you're only gonna be in there for like 45 seconds at a time And then you'll have like a minute and four and two minute break nearly. I think you Yes, I really really I think both of you are fit enough to push to push forward Look, we control the fire. I think that I think you'd beat them. I don't say that. That's what am I wrong? I look, I think that that I'm like I'm gonna rely on the fact that we are that we are we are naturally Athletically gifted that I'm gonna say it like we are good at sport. We played sport a fucking shitload growing up So it's just pretty good at sport So I'm kind of relying on that as well as the fact that we can both get fucking fit as fuck in a short period of time And and look, we'll see what happens. All right We definitely have a they have far more experience doing and far more they've been boxing for much much longer So I'll definitely consider us underdogs But I don't think it's gonna be as one-sided as people think and who knows we get fucking like Get get the fucking win and that's what we're gonna be trying to do brother and try and get that win on the board brother I'm gonna try and morph into a horse and it's good promo for the podcast Literally why I did it is so because we don't know any other Aussie podcasters So it's a good opportunity for us to just get seen by other people who listen to podcasts We should try and hook up with the bloody brilliant beers. All right. Yeah, they are they train at nitro We should funny boys. I do I really like them. You should pass. I reckon try and try the big Okay, if you bring one on here, I'll kiss one really Sorry, I do but they are good. They are funny boys. So that's our life at the moment guys filming some fucking good shit It's life's good fucking health is fucking yeah, Matt's Matt's just gone to the same person I went to so he's about to undergo the same kind of Treatment course that got rid of my high blood pressure Matt's got some fucking my blood. Yeah, you've got some some gout issues Don't you and I think these people can help you. So again, I know I keep saying, oh, I've got this secret I'm not telling you guys how I got better I will I just want all the information first before I tell you guys because I don't want to just drip feed you guys some Shit, but I will explain probably I'm gonna say in two weeks I'm gonna explain exactly what it might be a bit boring so you can skip past it if it doesn't apply to you But I'm just gonna explain exactly what happened exactly what I did and exactly where I met where I'm at right now But I'm gonna tell you I'm feeling fucking great. Look at me. I'm not fucking tired I don't have crippling anxiety in the fucking mornings Oh, you don't even I didn't even realize how shit my life was before I started Getting better Yeah, well, I guess when you've got something playing on your mind that you're gonna die all the time and you constantly remind it Yeah, it's just like It's like if that was just like a sore pain in your liver you'd be like, oh whatever But like it's your heart. Yeah, you know, you can't that fucks up once you dead. Yeah, so annoying I think how do we know how do we just buy a new one and liver regenerates to hot done hot? Don't be dinner out there. I've done exactly Any of these kidneys a shit because they're well, it's just it's like it. You don't care about kids that way You got two knees your two knees as well Why don't I have two hearts? I'll I'll send them an email and see if they can start doing that bro Cuz that'll be hectic as shit if they can just like when you're like a fertilized egg in a fucking up a If they can just get a little heart cell a second heart cell and stab it into the little Fertilized egg and then you grow and then there's not a heart on ya as back up hot Imagine having two hearts. I did it did it did you fucking run all day you dumb. Yeah, don't you fucking see that That's progression your fucking eyes, bro. That's humanity progression hundred percent and also open your eyes, bro Yeah, I have four eyes actually people do you got all shit to better, bro That's why that one God things go like eight of them brother. That's why he was so good Hey, so much shit done because he was doing eight different things at once brother lord of Sheba God you guys are disgusting sometimes. Hey Matt you are sitting in a dress. Can you tell? Which is not disgusting It's just interesting. Yeah, sorry. Sorry. Sorry. All right, let's move along We got a fucking jam-packed episode everybody. We got a lying segment. We got Matt's dream diary We got another great debate bam boozled makes return. We got your voicemail segments We got how famous are we and let me tell you we got some fucking responses in a half, bro And we got a prank call so fucked that you're gonna want to tell your grandmother that you hate her. Oh Oh Yeah, because you don't want her to be associated with you anymore after having listened to this prank call monstead. I have three left Actually do so back off you actually you actually in your dream diary. I noticed you actually mention your grandmother. Oh I had a dream. Yeah, I know I read it today So I was at a house that was your house But it it wasn't like it was different. It was different. I knew it was different But it was the way you guys film I may have been cooking lasagna, but anyway three guys knocked on the door and came in and I knew them as some sort of social social media sort of personality you guys sort of racist and They were all like, oh, hey, we're all excited and they came in what color what what what ethnicity were they? I don't know. I can't know that Tell me tell me well, there was no women. There was no women With tits at least it's gonna take too long. Okay, just let me tell you let it be let him inside and and we're all laughing at the time and One one king hit me was there sex. I had a king hit dream and I premonition and I was laying unconscious and they were striking me and I could hear you guys Defending me, but I knew I couldn't move. I was I was Go we got more dream coming and I feel like the like this feeling of like Don't of them of them like punching my head as I was chaotic on the ground and I was like, holy shit That was a full-on and but It's all white men in your dreams. Can can we just point out one fucking one? Wait, so not one woman and not one other person of a different skin color if I had I don't know Matt It's kind of pretty obvious what's happening here. I mean I'll bring a skin color. You guys are female There's no animals. There's no females and I'm pretty sure what this oh, man Anyway, very very sexist dream, but anyway, let's move along to the sponsors. All right You can be better You can lift yourself up beyond what you have and You can be a better version of you the hair on your body is Literally holding you back if you walk It creates something called drag Okay, and that actually slows you down and that's not my opinion. Okay, that's a fucking fact It's actually so it's that's actually a fucking fact So if you are sick of being a slow gross hairy piece of shit Then maybe go to manscape.com and use our discount code fully actual 20 for 20 percent off 20% off just like that. There you go. Boom. Fuck it. Have it for free go to manscape.com Use our discount code fully actual 20 have it for free not really for free It's 20% off stop being so slow and fat Go and trim your hair and walk like a normal human being I've seen Haven't I I've no one wants to be cousin it from the Adams family a hundred percent man If I was that I would be so fucking so upset. I'll be suicidal. I'd get a haircut I would be suicidal some people call me uncle fester Go to manscape.com. They got all sorts of shit. You can shave your balls in the shower, bro Okay, there. It's so annoying shaving your balls on the bathroom floor and then you have to sweep it all up And then you have to flush like four times Because your roommates will see that you shaved your pubes and there's still a few floating around in there Just shave it in the shower. Okay shave it all in the shower stomp it down the drain problem solved Okay, they got these special nut nut things on it so your skin don't get nipped as much no more So manscape.com check this shit out and start moving quicker Also for women women women women. It's mostly for women. I'll put my hand up. They've really protects gone Put your fuck. Thank you. Put your hand up for women We're not that saves the dream look you put his hand down as soon as you said put your hand up for women See I'm so typical you are so see-through and transparent speaking where address But you hate women there is another great debate coming so stay tuned Which leads me to our second sponsor and now this sponsor This sponsor is life-changing. Okay. You need to shut up. You need to shut the fuck up back back back Oh, you come home from work. You're feeling tired Fatigued you wake up and you're tired you low energy throughout the day You know, you have a bad mood or you're a bit irritable. 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You don't go on it, right? You get sick You're off work for a week. You got to go to the doctor. There goes fucking to Greg So you might as well get on it and save yourself time and money Jesus Christ, it's not hard. AG1 the link is in that description. Look, I'm on right now I'm someone that does AG1. It's actually AG. This is someone that doesn't do AG1 We have two different examples here. We've gone and done scientific tests for you AG1 Someone who does it someone who doesn't do it. Okay. Do you want to look like the fuck on the end? I didn't fucking think so. So smart and a bitch. You stupid fat bitch Sorry, it's not directed at anyone in particular All right, we're gonna have a huge fat bong break and we'll be right back with the lying segment Matt's dream diary and the great debate Our sponsors The break have a bong have a bong have a break. Here I go, baby. This is the real shit We like to use a Mercedes Ben We like to you I can't in again Oh There's a Mercedes Ben Not not we need a half that I'm getting over that one. Really. I can't really so wait Is it cuz Marty's enough? Let us know You do all the jingles and it's not really about you You want to hover by 50% because the 50% of it is Marty. I wish I was I should have changed Mercedes Ben That's what I'm upset. I like your outfit today Fucking Catholic, it's yeah, he's religious And cricket since revolution anyway, look, let's fucking lie to one of our friends I might just like take this opportunity to point out Please like comment and fucking slam that subscribe button bro fucking grab it around the neck and fucking crush It's fucking windpipe can't yeah It's a fucking like little thin bit of like just like straw and then just fucking headbutt the like button and like Shattered forehead bro, and then also give us a five-star review on Spotify. Please like we haven't gone up on Spotify And now we've got video on Spotify. So come man, please baby Man, please every if we can get that to 3k, let's give him a bargain here. I will Yes, I like this. Yeah, like when he does stuff if we can get it to 3k Set yourself on fire. I can do something like um never like my ideas I will I will let Matthew Brown snot jet on my face We probably won't be able to do that on camera, but we can blur it and do it So that will happen that will be okay. I reckon on I want something better on that will happen on Spotify So if we can get Spotify people this to 3k Matthew Brown will snot jet on my face Yeah, so 3k five-star reviews we're at 2.8 at the moment and it just keeps us going right all this engagement and shit lock It just keeps the wheels flying keeps us ground keeps it going How many followers would it so how many subscribers how many five stars I take for you to cut your fucking hair? How many five stars probably this will be ridiculous. Yeah be something ridiculous. How short how short? Like like my short. Oh fuck man, probably 50k and there you have it guys 50k five-star reviews You'll cut us to my length and also you said last week if we for $20,000 you would cut your hair Do you remember that indeed you said you said it you said $20,000 how short tempted to sure just however I want to cut it. Yeah, no fuck that you can't go back. We said this last week There was a certain shave your head There was a structure to it you could I could have like strings hanging down or something There was some length still look underneath like a bowl cut. I'm tempted to start to go find me and see if we can get oh like I'll contribute 10 grand Matt will contribute six and then we only need four more from you guys and then boom bang done We need to look back at that because I swear there was conditions. I'm not shaving someone please Let us know in the comments. Can somebody review our own? Yeah, can let us on that some comments what we said and what Michael says so we move forwards with everything that we've done What's our lie this week? Let's just go something. Let's go fresh. Let's have some fresh lie. You know, what about a meal? Oh Yeah, he works. Huh? He works. Oh, dude a meals great. He will answer He's no he won't of the amount of times I've run him. Can we try just don't That's very protective of It's so cute I like that. Hello. Oh, yeah meal is it's a studio number. Yes. Oh, okay. It's Marty Yeah, you know, what's up? Hey, man. Um, how the fuck are you at work right now? Yeah, oh, sorry, dude. I'll be quick, but um Basically, we're planning a bit of a day out on the boat with the boys like a golf first and then we're going All getting on a boat after fucking shitloads of beers and some other fun stuff as well And it's gonna be in what's a date today. I think we were looking at Sort of early April would you be keen? I Am I just have to double check which weekend I'm away Okay, maybe the first weekend of a lot of people a day and I'd be keen. Yeah. Okay, sweet. Yeah Um, I might be back then. I don't know. I'm gonna waste some point in April. Yeah All right, well, let's keep like so we don't have a locked in day, but let's just say the 13th 14th, and yeah, I'll chuck in a group chat and then yeah, everyone's going dressed as different animals as a theme to it so So yeah, just dress up as a as a fucking. I don't know a rhino or something That'd be good. I know what I'll be. What are you gonna be? Can you tell me please? No, it's a problem You know what else is a surprise? This is a fucking lie. I mean you are on the podcast. Oh my god I believe you believe that we aren't planning a trip away a meal. We're not doing anything from now until our boxing event We're gonna be sitting at home doing nothing and Matt told us to call you I said not to ring you You'd be at work and you'd devastate him. I Am I told you you'd be devastated. Sorry a meal. We're sorry. I'm sorry But look, that's a good idea and we can do it one day. Yeah, we will that will probably happen one day Just not in April and now I Told you he'd be so innocent We're sorry if we heard him getting fired I Don't even know if Emil knows the lying segment of the podcast, you know the lying segment They call and just give you the simplest like we're gonna do this and they're like now imagine how fun that sounded There might have even been there was possibly strippers coming I heard Dude, and that's not real. That is God. That is definitely not you will be at home that weekend probably Watching dog races Sorry, anyway, sorry about that Emil. I'm sorry to waste your time. We'll let you get back to work. All right All right, I might not listen to this episode I can see it UFC 300 Too shy he got us back there. I told you not to ring him. No, that was fine. He's not really heard about it No, he's a busy man And that's why answered We had our fun. Oh guess what time yes, all right, it's time for Matt's dream Journal and this is a segment where Matt Brown writes down the dreams that he has so that he doesn't forget them in the hopes that one day Someone out there can analyze them for him and tell him what the fuck is going on in that mind of his Because no one knows and he's got a girlfriend now and he's wants to figure it out and thump a few kids up it What? Mr. Brown. Oh, yes. No, you remember he said you dreamed of your grandma The other day so you must be on a like a week of dreaming about her because I've read through this and you are dreaming about your grandma again Did you know that some people say dreams are really just realities when you're asleep in other dimensions It's a reality in another dimension and that your cross you've made it over there Right because the DMT has been released in your brain while you're in REM sleep, right? And then you convert over to a different frequency and you actually enter another fucking reality, bro So it's a reality. It's not a dream. It's a real thing. So you whatever happens in this actually happens Bill Gates wrote that bro read it. Mm-hmm. Here we go Yet another dream yet more confusion I'm still having trouble making sense of these dreams with something from deep within my mind is causing them Last night's dream started quite pleasant. It was nighttime and the house. I was in was completely silent I was small and fast. I would dart from hiding spot to hiding spot From under a cupboard to under a fridge I'm under the fridge to under the couch. My speed made me feel invincible My hunger was starting to get the better of me and I started sniffing the air I Caught a few weeks since here and there and followed them. I found a pee under the oven and helped myself Nibbled and nibbled and the pee was gone in no time. I Sat silently momentarily Straining my ears for any sound of potential threats nothing but more deafening silence I sniffed the air again and followed my nose. Oh This time I caught the scent of something substantial. It stopped me in my tracks and I sniffed harder Could it be it's not like Cheese My body coursed with excitement. I sprinted on my tiny four legs all the way to the source of the smell It led me into a bedroom where two humans were dead asleep I made sure to move completely silently not to wake them and found my treasure It was a large square piece of cheese just sitting under the nightstand I couldn't believe my luck to make things even more ridiculous It looked as though the cheese was literally served on a silver platter It seemed to be raised slightly and angled toward up upwards towards me My hungry mind was far too focused on eating to concern myself with a suspicious amount of luck that it just come my way I stepped forward and sunk my front teeth deep into the soft salty cheese It pulled away effortlessly and I savoured it as it slid down my throat a bit into the cheese again with more forces time Then as I want to pull the cheese off of this silver platter I heard a click and within the blink of an eye a large steel rod came swinging down at me I'd no time react and snap I felt the steel rod sever my spine in half and felt multiple organs pop and split in my body My body was totally destroyed in the blink of an eye. The pain was immense and and immediate I let out a series of high-pitched squeaks My upper body was now angled up and I could no longer feel my lower body I didn't have even have time to process what was happening when I saw the sleeping human wake abruptly from the sound of the steel rod Plowing through my flimsy body the human turned the nightlight on and looked at me. What the fuck? It was my sweet old grandmother She put her glasses on and squinted at at me as her eyes adjusted to the light. Oh dear We've caught the poor little mouse looks like he's still alive. Am I set him free outside? My grandmother began to pull the blanket off of herself and get up and help me I felt some relief surely my loving grandmother will help me just as my grandmother sat up in her bed a strange man sat up next to her He was a bald incredibly muscular man He looked like a full-blown bodybuilder and I could see his bulging veins in his huge arms Don't worry about it. What the little fucking rotten? I've got something better We can do now. We're awake this huge muscular man placed his hand on my grandmother's shoulder and pulled her back into bed Sweety I can never say no to you my grandmother lent back and started kissing this man mountain Gently at first but it quickly became passionate. I couldn't believe it I was in pure agony and the way the upper half of my body was snapped I couldn't even look away if I wanted to I squeaked desperately trying to snap my old fragile grandmother out of her lustful mood But nothing worked before along this huge muscular man had removed my grandmother's dressing gown and positioned himself behind her Then I watched and listened as his enormous man went to town on my grandmother He had no regard for her age and went at her like a jackhammer and as if she was in her 20s The muscular man looked at me occasionally threw out and tensed his biceps at me I squeaked and twisted but was completely pinned down by this steel rod My grandmother and this man went at it for hours until eventually my injuries got the better of me my tiny brain swelled with blood and the last thing I remember is having a seizure as this man screamed in ecstasy as he finished With my grandmother and she died When I woke up drenched in sweat and anxiety Why was I a mouse in my dream? Why did I dream of my grandmother with another huge muscular man? I had no idea but one thing was for certain that it was a wet dream What's going on with it? It's weird that you've had like multiple dreams about her There must be something subconsciously guys leave in the comments And if you have any theories about what's going on here like these dreams are getting really confusing Just let us know if you have any kind of knowledge about how to interpret a dream because that's two dreams in a week About your sweet sweet grandmother who's sadly past And we don't want to think of her in that light. I just miss her. So yeah, that was fucking great I miss oh, maybe that's what it is, but it's weird that anyway, look, I still have on three Three grandma. Yeah. Wow. That's most people only get to I get three. Do you like them? Wait? I've got four If you've got one I've got three Do you like one die? They're beautiful Which one which one do you like the most? I can't say No, no, I like the more I'll spend as much time with them as you can because once they're gone they're gonna Yeah, you're both yours go all the money gone all the money gone to that shit. Yeah. Yeah, you can't like It was shit because Dad's dad's parents died when I was real young. So I didn't know Of a grandma I had like I have a vague like clips of memories from them. I'm not touching you in shit, but um Did you other grandma do you? But they are but my my mom's mom She was like the only she was pretty much the proper one. I wish she good. Did she give you presents? She was the best Okay, yeah, I can see that blow jobs. Sorry blow jobs Let's move on. It's actually called head. Let's move on. All right, that's a cool place. Yeah All right guys, it's time for the segment that divides the nation. Oh fuck. It's time For the great debate hit it Brown hit her like you want to It's time for the great debate Now before we begin I must remind you okay, these are not our actual opinions This is not real these two boys Matt and Michael are just trying to win a debate Okay, get that through your head, but if you're if you're easily offended skip this segment Okay, skip it because you're not gonna like it if you're easily offended although if you're listening to us Surely you're not easily offended. This is not real. It's two people grown man having a debate. Okay, it's like it We're at school again, and you're testing how good you are at debating. That's exactly right Michael. So that's that All right Man, this is heavy. This is always this always gets really intense. Yeah, okay. I got a fucking go I need to fix my skirt. All right today is my brain today's topic is Please don't be something You should be allowed to hit your kids. Oh, yeah, this is this is gonna be fun Don't show him pick one fucking put your hand in please please please be what I want it to be please please a Con oh so Matt is against the argument and Michael is for the argument of hitting kids So I'm Michael is saying that yes, you should hit your kids hard Kids hard and Matt's saying no no you shouldn't know you shouldn't all right Michael since you are of the affirmative of the argument You get your two minutes first. Okay fuck two minutes. All right. Let's go. That's right We change it to a minute and a half. All right, so you get a minute and a half. All right Ready and go your time starts now Scenario you could be in the movies. You could be on the bus. You could be in the supermarket There you are trying to do what you should be able to do without hearing a fucking disgusting irritating Putrid sound where it's just Yeah Man you're on the plane you're stuck with that okay Good kids that are fuck we were good kids I got hit and then make sure that Matt happened to me I was being smart to my uncle once riding my bike trying to make it out like he was flirting with another woman and He came straight up to me and he just clipped me straight across the air me and I got his son hit as well And now look at you now you're much better man for it. Well, I've just got discipline time. I've been in the eye. Okay, huh? Not too bad. So I'm not world number nine at worms. Well, I'm saying that all kids So Michael's point is that all kids is shit and they they should all be hit most You just say all in there and anyway always I exaggerate. I got passionate. It's most all right, man Are you ready with your rebuttal? Yes three two one begin just like to point out that in your If you call it a speech you didn't once suggest why they shouldn't be hit You just said if they're loud in public places, they should be hit. That's all you that's all that's all you've fought for okay now the reason why we shouldn't hit our kids is because They grow up being hit constantly and constantly again and again and they become violent They become very violent and then they lash out in the wrong situation So instead of disciplining their kids They think they can discipline anyone. So you're saying that a child who's hit once will continue absolutely I've just googled what about whatever child gets hit and then just never repeats that behavior I've just googled Marty that 60% of all domestic violence cases were people who are hit when they were young Well, that's cheating. I don't have any access to internet. Well, you should have got some And also the amount of kids with brain damage after being hit as a kid hard. Hey, it's incredible So up to 70% of kids who were hit more than 50% of the time literally had more brain damage than kids that did So how do you under the net? So how do you suggest we counter all this youth crime? Yeah, wait, wait, it's not youth crime Marty, but I like where your head's at So hey, I think we need to counter by using more of our words Okay, and not giving into our kids. No, I want to talk about my god. Okay. I want to talk about All right, okay. So like if our kid wants to chocolate by instead of just giving him a fucking uppercut Let's use our words and say no and do not give into our kids time Time I gave you an extras. I get fucking. Okay. So we get 90 seconds now. Yeah Let's see if you can come up with something better than supermarket tragedies. Now you get one minute and he gets one minute Okay, and go Okay, I must have made myself clear. I was too passionate because I can't believe the world we live in today Anyway, Marty, mr. Moderator man Would you say if you look at today's current world with how lenient and soft 99 of these helicopter parents are on their fucking little thing Now, would you say that it's a better world now than it was 20 years ago or a worse the world? Yeah, look, I must admit the behavior of children in my opinion has gotten much worse since we've coddled the more More coddling worse behavior Case in point. Thank you and time All right, that's a pretty good point. Look, it's but it's hit my time so I can rebuttal please Three two one go once again. You've not even even talked about anything of the question You just said the world's a worse place. That's all you've said. Anyway, um our kids Our kids even if you're hitting them hard or soft Are traumatized by the amount of violence you're bringing into their lives Okay, and clearly this creates a world of PTSD and they never break out of it now You could say that because you hit them you're making them a better adult, but no you're making them worse You're turning them into violent creatures and they will grow up to rob and steal and hurt But don't you think that we were exposed to that kind of way growing up and are we violent monsters? Is the world we know we were we were exposed to but we were exposed to at a place of love And we've created monsters. That's what I'm saying. Well, there's two. Yeah, I think them is not the answer Yeah, but love hits a fight apparently that's what he's just fucking no no no no listen our Our parents hit us. Thank you for speaking point off. Take a point. You do it all the time That's enough. So our parents hit us from love time Oh So that's okay. Look all I'm saying is if you assess that from the distance Speaking Look guys, look I look look at this. Okay. Look at the fucking anger I have from being belted as a kid They literally hit me Same both both of you had some great Debating skills then. Okay, both of you. We are improving I Feel like I am Bias in this I have my own personal opinion on this. So that's fucking kupa and ryanin No, they didn't hear it. They didn't hear it. So but it's okay You guys decide Okay, we're gonna as fully actual you remember this now take too long We'll find out in two weeks and I just just pick one. All right. It doesn't matter who wins anyway. Pick your opinion No, if you want. No, but yeah, how can they let us know look comment who you think Kids should be hit or not here. Yeah, Michael or matt. I just want to put it out Yeah, yeah, just comment michael if you think michael won that debate or matt if you think matt Won that debate personally I tend to think that we are too soft on kids these days and that there is you can you can be more disciplinarian without abusing That's what I fucking getting real. I absolutely agree. We should fucking boot our kids anyway Look, this is what happens at the great debate. Look at us all getting real and vulnerable. Yeah, we need to be Now we're sitting here being all fucking vulnerable We need to I'm actually crying right now. Well, I had past trauma hit me hard there. So I need some belt slaps I need some backhands and some kicks. Hey, I'm actually against it now. I'm gay. Oh well. Here we go Bong break the break have a bong have a bong have a break Here I go, baby This is the real shit All right, all right guys. We're back We are as you can see we are now blindfolded and james is going to show you guys what the two items are So two of the items are yummy and normal and one of the items is Fucked and gross and who knows how god awful it's going to be And so one of us three is going to have to drink it and keep a straight face. Okay This is fucking have we played the jingle we have we haven't have we have you done the jingle No, oh my god. Let's do the fucking time. Let's do the fucking jingle And it's also up near dark aben No No, not me No, not again. Oh, please I'm so confused. I can't see you've been bamboozled, bitch Yeah, yeah, yeah check it. I say you've been bamboozled, bitch Not me not me not me Oh Shit So this segment guys like I was just explaining to we all drinks a liquid one of the liquids is fucked And we all have to try and keep a straight face and we each try and guess who it was at the end I'll briefly tell you I'll briefly tell you what the other things are because you can know. Okay. Um, it's not liquids this week It is food Two of you will be fortunate enough to eat some delicious tuna in spring water What? Yeah. Well, it's what it's human food And the the third less lucky person will have a Large spoonful of gelatinous dog food Oh my god Yeah, you can I looked it up. You'll be fine. Are you serious? Oh my god Okay, so James is showing you the normal food right now so I don't know I'm scared I'm scared And now he will be showing you the fucked other thing that one of us will be eating with a straight face Please, please. I just hope it's not too much of a spoonful because it's going to be really hard Oh, dude, either way. I'm fucked here I suppose now we'll can we remove the blindfolds now I suppose can yeah, yeah, you can remove them now I suppose considering you lost last week Marty, you can be the lucky one to choose first if you want or you can choose someone else Oh, fuck man. I'm fucked either way Okay, um, I am choosing Oh Uh, far right Okay I'm choosing the middle Okay, should we count down? Yeah, three two one do it and blindfolds off blindfolds off He hates both those outside to tell because he would be doing the same face Well, it could be me though still Spoons down spoons down or like hide them at least. Yes. I'm dumb Oh, man All right, just wait let me go ahead spin Oh, it's just tricky All right, so Oh stringy. Okay Let's all point at each other who we think got bamboozled three two one Did you get the dog food? Oh, dude Gelated shit Dude, I was impressed for a second. I was like, maybe you did get it Yeah, you would have done the same face with tuna. I know I would have been it was so hard to shoot Show me in your mouth. Show me in your mouth. I want to touch it. Can I touch in your mouth? Go away Tuna I liked that. It was yummy. Yummy All right, so that's fucking bamboozled Michael got bamboozled this week. Thank you very much for organizing that change Yeah, what was the punishment again? What about the can of tuna? Yeah, what about if you have to have a mouthful of tuna now? All right, look, I guess that's fair, but I will be pissed. Oh Mmm, high in mercury tuna. Really? Yeah, really high in mercury and sitting in cans for many many years I stopped eating the tuna before they got naked to a shelf I moved to the sun. You can have canned food in a can for years So this is this fish is probably from the 90s if um if it's the one that was in there That's my old can of tuna. Even fresh tuna looks like shit. It's been there for like a year Yeah, it's quite hard and firm this tuna very fishy, but enjoy it So you have a collar Yeah, it's very fishy It's all moist. It's fish flesh. It looks like beef. It's fish flesh. It's actually beef. Fish flesh It's fish flesh ripped from its bones. Mm-hmm. Yummy. Yummy. You tuna Breathe out and smell the smell of it on your breath Oh tuna tuna fish Firm hard rubbery kind of meat And that's bamboozle, baby I can't swallow it. It's so dry. All right guys, um Let's fucking move right along. All right. You know what I thought about doing Matt What you know how people like Stop bleeping the swear words the cunt words. Stop saying them. Yeah, it's hard though I I seriously like I think not to and then I just it just pops out all the time But what about this run? We invent our own swear word And I thought what sort of sounds like S*** and t and f you ck kark kark You're fucking kark You're nothing but a kark your little kark Because kark kind of means death as well Really that's a bit dark. Oh, kark was like Isn't kark like that? Yeah, that's kark. This is kark. C-a-r-k Oh, that tuna was kark. K-u-c-k Oh, we'll see you. I liked your idea of runt. You runt. You can't be like real fucking runt It's like you say words or the real thing though, but anyway, let's move on. All right It's time everyone where you guys call us in. It's the voice mouth segment. Play the music brown Play it like you do the mine as you groom And this is just where you guys call our phone that we have and the number is 0466602 303 and if you want to leave us a funny voicemail a story or a confession Maybe we thought of today if you need love advice. Yeah, if actually leave a confession in the voicemails And you will have or even a message explaining what you want to confess And we will call you live and there will be a guy called father clint that will come in and he Will host your confessions and give you advice, but yeah, we're gonna get a priest. We're contacting a priest an actual I appreciate any any he's only He only did the bad stuff in his early career. He stopped he cut it out He doesn't do that bad. She doesn't do it anymore. Okay. So now with ringing with your rings We decided since we sort of filmed the podcast two weeks before it comes out It's going to be hard to track all the feclines So basically you guys need to just impress me with your voicemail Yeah, just just do something impressive send us fucking stories or something. It could be sounds It could be your own plays your own plays that you've made up You could be characters and being like should we give them an example of a sound that we would be happy to receive from you guys Oh Try it brown Just a sound this is brown sound just a sound. It's a short sharp sound go three two one go And he sound like that us three where you just done you send that in because that's fucking funny, bro Or you know, I honestly I prefer a story Yeah, a good story is what I stick around for and there was been some good ones This is what I got from this week. Okay Now one thing I'll tell you that annoys me is if it's probably over three minutes Keep it short and sweet get into it. Yeah, probably two minutes max would be hot one minute's perfect But yeah impress us in a minute and then if it's worth it tell the story if it's I'm talking like Uncle was He was rude. Yeah, he clipped your ear when you tried to make it out like his wife was cheating He was a kid and now you're violent towards your kids If that's like that don't do that. So here we are. This is what I got this week. So it's anything No, it's all for oh, yeah, so it's all about you Do you remember Kelsey I was just saying I think I know who that is she is one of a kind Kelsey we love you Yeah, she was at the live She's very we got to party with her after the live show and she is one loose ring We love her. It's so funny that that's like an accurate representation of like what our podcast is Yeah, just that's like if someone says oh look, what's the podcast about like someone would just do that and then And then that's what we're about bro. So that that got me going every week because we love Kelsey so much Oh, yeah, Matt was saying that he finds her attractive enough to breed with me didn't want me to say anything But I just did So Kelsey Matt's gonna crush me maybe Okay, this one If I am to be then who is to see me be a bee Once I am a bee is it truly me who has become the bee for you to see for me Or is it truly you to be the one for me? Amen Holy that's fucking heavy shit, dude That was fucking beautiful, man. I saw Buddha for like half a second. He's flashed in my head actually fully teared up then Whoa, man. I'd like that I'd never ever thought of it like that and you can tell it's religious because it's amen at the end God man. I was like Every word he said I was like, oh my god, that makes so much sense Wow, thank you. Thank you for that submission Matt any comments? People who only hear think that that's what he's comment was Oh, that was great Very good That was fucking good, dude You're a flyer, okay. All right next one sometimes stretch my foreskin over an apple Dude, if you could fucking do that, please send us video footage of that. We won't share it anyway I just want to see it. We will fly you out and pay you Yeah, and that will be a website video if you can do that You I'm putting it out there if anyone can do that even a small apple Fuck it. I'll even go as far as saying an apricot If you can get your foreskin around an apricot has to be a small apple Send in a video of you doing it and we'll give you money. I'm not even kidding Dude a foreskin around a fucking I reckon we fly him in and we make it a whole documentary Yeah, yeah, if you can only get a small apple Yeah, if you can do an apple you will fly you here will pay you and your life will change Yeah, you can go to hollywood, baby Your you will be a fucking star foreskin frank. There'll be chanting your names from the streets Frank and your foreskin will be longer than your legs, man Michael's cookies clearly That's just very funny Here we go. Next one. Sorry Hey boys, it's candy I have the craziest sex story for you. So when I first met my husband We were having sex pretty rough once and I got A sharp stabbing pain in my stomach. We had to stop The ambulance came picks me up. We went into the hospital And they told me that he had ruptured assist on my ovaries From having sex too hard. Oh my god. I had to go into surgery and I had to have this this removed off my ovary Hell yeah, holy shit. Shit, baby Shit, we got a figure now. He likes to tell people that he tried to fuck me to death All right boys. Love his work. Please keep it up. Bye. That's a cool thing You want to hear very good Dude, imagine this right imagine this you come out of hospital You've just had surgery you're coming in bandages and shit and all your loved ones come up to you go. Oh my god. What happened? I got fucked Oh god Yeah, shit That's a hard one to tell all part and all month and what about the kids man Yeah, well, there you go. That is a great story. There you go. This I knew like the sexies Yeah, yeah. Now here we go ready. All right. I have one more or two more maybe. Okay. Here we go Yeah, good. Hey boys. Name's Mark. Long time. Listener. Watch out. She's running school in gate. Uh, go good Men are storing for you. Um, I'm in the lighting hearing. Um on account. Oh, I work with me machinery So if I go to town really good, that's why but I'm the other day I was with me mate. Um, and we were going down to uh, I don't know if you know where this is But we were going down to, uh, manfield prom I'm going down manfield prom And um, I'm gonna have my voice make people think I'm a bit retarded, but it's actually just a nice impairment and anyway, I always is in there and um and I had I'm in there and um I'm in there and I'm in there and um I'm having this stroke. I'm having this. I'm having it boys. I'm having this stroke and I'm When I'm having this, don't you call ambulance boys call the ambulance. I'm having it. My name is Mark and I'm having this stroke I was like when I first heard I was like, oh, fuck. He's putting it on and then after I was like, oh my god I know it takes you on a rollercoaster that one. Yeah mark. Very good, dude. That was some impressive Shit, that was good talent. Our rings and marks survive I don't know our rings. No, imagine if it turns out that that was legit and he was actually Someone who's just having a stroke and that was the last thing and like full made the daily mail and then they showed like images of matt laughing during it like Well, we left that voicemail and then we got fucking cancelled right and matt was out on his ass out on the street Fucking his girlfriend left him right and he gets addicted to fucking ice and shit. It's a possibility Now look shout out to ryan at golf. I saw you at uh pine rivers golf club. He was a website member yesterday So fucking legend all our website members are fucking legends And if you want to support us in this podcast by the way, please sign up to our website's 21 day free trial We have so many fucking massive long videos on there over 300. You'll never be able to watch them all Okay, there's 300 videos unseen that we've never posted social media They're crazy and it helps fund our entire operation that website that website is like our fucking sun And we are the plants that kind of grow and you guys are the are the fucking bosses of that sun, bro Like your god You hit us now and then we hit each other. We discipline each other for you. What's our member is is our boss Every single website member is our boss in a way So there and yeah, so thank you. It's pine rivers where we played brown golf. You've never played there brown Now I forget it, man Okay Does this person know you're calling her? Hello Hello, this is uh, michael and marty from What's up, baby? What's up, baby? Get down on your knees, baby Is your boyfriend available this time? No No, you have to make no not unless you make a dolphin sound, okay There's an example Okay, hold on give me a sec. I don't know how to do that. Just try just look Emily. I'm about to hang up I'm not even you gotta try your boyfriend and five seconds of it Again if you don't do this Okay, ready? Yeah, okay Hold on not too long Emily Again, she lost it again. She's probably sitting there doing it right now. She's probably sitting there doing it right now Emily is too late too slow. You must be quick. You must take opportunities when they arise in your path You take them and you put them in your pocket. She should have been a dolphin for five seconds and her boyfriend would be so Happy right now. Her boyfriend would have been talking to stars She's probably sitting and i'm doing it right now She probably wouldn't have heard the hang up i'm going And then heard nothing but silence They be like, oh, oh, no, they hated that and then she's looked at the phone and gone fuck They fucking gone unstitched me up again that brown Her partner's walked in as she's done that and she's like, he's like, why are you doing that? She's like, it's oh money Michael courtier Then he has she has to explain that she was too late and doing dolphin sounds he walks in and she's gone Is she all there now? Yeah, and then and yeah, and then she's he's gonna be like they're not there You lied to me and then he's gonna backhand her because he was hit as a kid and now he's a violent person And he's probably he might think that he's with a dolphin Yeah, i've seen that trust me. I don't want to ever see that again. You are not your girlfriend's not even human anymore That's crazy. She's a dolphin. You're gonna get a bit teary that she's a dolphin man. That's sad Emily's a dolphin. That is so sad. Let's fucking move on No, we can't we can't we give her a second chance. We give dolphins a second chance Look, we have to move on. Okay. We can do this next week. We must remain firm in our values and stand strong for what you believe in We hate dolphins All right, everyone. Let's fucking find out just how famous we are hit it matt hit it like you want to fucking bury it neighbor's cat Fame fame i want fame what's my name it's not a game what's my name it's not a game i need fame Oh my god. Oh my god. Okay. All right. So last week we said matt guest that we're gonna message wendell sailor We did he's active right now. That's why i'm like. Oh my god. So let's say something But yeah, he's a big deal to us wendell sailor. He's like he's like an x really super famous football player, right? And we said to him big del adam mcdougal who is another x football player Just told us a funny story about you wanted to know if it was true or not And then he replied and said yeah dogs love him with a question mark and now he's active online right now So what should we say to him ha ha? He said um You did two backflips at the story bridge ask him if he's watched a certain movie that's has he seen love actually That's a good film Ha ha he reckons you've started growing marijuana That's very good. How do you think like that? Okay, I've sent it. Okay. I'm gonna screenshot this Now also Let's tell them about we stepped it up also this week with we messaged Guess who? Clint Eastwood. Do you know who we messaged you don't oh, yeah, you might not know about this one Jeffrey He's from jackass And it's not johnny noxville. No. Oh my god. Is it Dave england? Wow, he's very you are a psychic and Guess what's something even cooler about Dave england? He actually isn't from england No, if we're talking like influencer talk right now. He follows us. He followed us bro, so Check this shit. This is the conversation. He's kind of cringe and i'm a little embarrassed. Oh, no You're gonna fanboy, didn't you? No, no. No, I wish we definitely wish if this is considered rude If it was to anyone else basically, okay, look, so We've messaged Dave england from jackass, okay, he's been in all the jackass and we said dude You need your own show is what we said to him and then he replied with wonder what it'd be like And then we said i'm sure it would involve shit He's inspired a lot of our videos and then we've sent him a screen recording from one of our websites Where I shoot shit Over over three meters four meters over four meters in distance So we sent him that slow motion. What video is that called just for uh, who's the better shit the better shooter? Yeah, and his response to that is way to go mate Is that good you reckon That's pretty good. I don't know man. I reckon that's like if he thought it was if he thought it was funny Like he probably thinks we're just too junkies who like Oh, you know how someone's like, oh, you're mad. Oh look at this video already He hasn't hearted the video and then they set their grandma on fire or something. No, he did heart it Oh, if he hired it, that's okay, but it'd be nice if we got a laughing emoji. Yeah 100 percent. Yeah That's a shame didn't really All right. So anyway, so that's the conversations that we and we're also all those maths people replied by the way I don't have we've read them though, right go. There's who are they go Do you want to hear a message from a rad maths dude? Which one? Are they really are there really any rad maths? Jesse's a legend. Oh, they're all they've all been super nice. Oh, they're all yeah We've been very Adam Taylor Jesse Burford We got a lovely voice recording from him. All right, let's play it Thanks for the message lads really appreciate it. I've been following You and your comedy for years um, and it's amazing how Stepping into the spotlight via maths has you know Put me in somewhat of a connection with Yeah, more prominent figures like such as yourselves I'm going to tell some of my mates that you sent me messages. They're just gonna be like, what the fuck they hit you up That's sick. So yeah, you're putting smiles on many people's faces lads Myself and my mates included. So yeah, I hope you guys are doing well um, yeah Fuck yeah, we're that cool. We're fucking awesome everyone. We're sick. Yeah, you guys are sick Yeah completely just played that But yeah, we're fucking we are fucking legends and there's proof you didn't you weren't sure about us Well, there's some fucking proof Someone with some celebrity just said that that we are Prominent figures a celebrity said we're yeah, exactly that All right, so look, thank you. Jesse. You're a legend. Well, yeah, Jesse that is All of the maths people have been pretty good even the one we said we were on acid too. Who was that again? I can't remember that one that was Dean Oh, yeah, yeah dean. Yeah, we was like, oh, sorry man. We're on acid. Let me just seen it in a reply Anyway, all right, so who shall we step it up to this week? Whoa? Whoa? Whoa? Now I reckon Let's think big. I'm ready to go big because we are big now, but should we go too big too fast? Yeah, yeah, we don't want to do this both We're not butterflies yet. Okay. I reckon let's go Princess Diana. She's dead. Oh, yeah, she's dead. She's too. She would have been perfect otherwise. I'm gonna say Um, what about okay queen? Oh, the queen would have been perfect too. She's too old. She's dead too. Yeah. Um, oh, stevo. Oh, fuck Can't do that guys Also dead Oh, um, that guy from uh fast and furious Poor walker dead. Is he one of his cars at least you're kidding me? No, they blew him up. Okay Okay. All right, um All right, well, have you heard a silver chair? Dead That's a pretty big deal. What about we're doing John's right Australian bands. So let's go silver chair powder finger And they're so inactive on social media. So it's risky Fuck we've got to think here. Come on. Um, let's go with can you can we please have some suggestions from you guys? Can you guys please leave in the comments or call us on 046 6602 303 and give us some suggestions on who you think We should dm for this segment. It's hard to think a celebrity. Nicole Pratt Who's that again? Who's that? What's the one that was with paris hilton in that show? The simple life and that's not Nicole Pratt. Nicole Richie Richie is that it? Nicole Richie. I don't fuck it. It is it is 7.3 million followers. She's Should we try it? Yeah. Yeah, give it a go. She's right flick one out there Flick one out there and you guys help us. Okay. All right. So we're gonna send a message to Nicole Richie What should we say to her? I reckon we just say hey, we just checked out your old show the simple life and it's so fucking funny What about would you do another season if we funded it? No, no too much too much Just want to give you a shout out. I'm gonna call it nick. Hey nick Yeah, okay confidence. Yeah. Hey nick. Um, just rewatch the simple life Man that shit was funny as Hectic shit Shit was funny as hectic shit. No, there would be no response if we we got to keep it clean That was so hilarious I just want to let you know Man that shit was funny as and then I'll go Laughing face and so everyone it appears we are it is confirmed we are Far more famous and prominent than the math. So we continue to rise up through the celebrity ranks Let's see where we finish up here. We could aim. Um, we could we could finish quite high. So it's great to see Let's fucking let's move on with the final segment. Hey Your time is there for us to wait It's time for Hello, my name Arnold fine. Um, I come to your store Last week. I buy a few things for me build fence. I buy a wood. I buy a tool. I I take a shuffle, you know a shuffle Yes, I I take a shuffle and I take home. I look a receipt and I see I Put shuffle in car And I not pay for shuffle Okay, okay. So I I I not pay. So I think okay. I go back Next week I bring a shuffle back. I I pay for But I use a shuffle on Sandif to put for my pick farm to pick flick around And the shovel it a snap in half the shovel break. Okay so Now I accidental take shuffle, but shuffle now broken So I do not know what you I put shuffle it you sell me Cheaper cheaper shuffle it break. I barely put food on it at a sheet product. So I do not know you I can bring back, but I not pay for sheet Are you pulling my leg? What do you mean pull leg? I I don't understand Pull the leg I You understand what I say. Are you joking? Are you joking? Joke about what sweetheart? I I'm not joking around. Okay. I have a shuffle I want to bring shuffle back, but the shovel break in half. Okay while I Okay, okay, let me get you straight hold on very rude snake Rude snake say me drunk Hello Hey, hey, okay. Hello. Who I speak to, huh? Okay, the last stuff member I speak to she uh, tell me. Okay. You listen. Okay. She really make me upset She tell me I am joking. Okay. She tell me I she laugh in my face and tell me I am joking I have serious problem. Okay. So you listen to me Sorry, so what do you need help with? Okay. So I Okay, you listen. Okay. I come in on Sunday. I'll be very honest. Okay. I do not lie My name Arnold fine. Okay pick farmer and up near darker bun. Okay. I do not lie I come in on Sunday. I buy things for help me build a fence. Okay. I buy some wood I buy a tool. I put in my car. I drive home. Okay. I see receipt I have a shuffle. I have not paid for the shuffle. Okay. I accidentally have taken the shuffle I think it's okay. I come in next week. I come in with a pick and I give the shovel back and I pay for a shuffle But I use the shovel on Sunday. Okay. I dig a hole for a pick And the shovel a break in half The shovel was a sheet. Okay, and it break in half and now I say I What can bring shovel back? But the shovel you gave me is a sheet So do you you don't have the receipt for the shovel? I have receipts, but shuffle not on receipts Because I I did not pay for shuffle. I I put on you and I think oh, okay I should pay for everything and I drive away, but I look on receipt. I did not pay for shuffle Okay, but that accident. Okay. I am not fine. It's not a thief. I do not steal So when you were driving away, did you look at the receipt and realize you didn't pay for the shuffle? No, I come home first. Okay. I unpack car. I pet pick I feed pick I make sure wife happy. She's sick right now. She's quite sick and I unpack the boot. I start working. I dig a hole third fence hole I dig The fucking a shovel it does snap in half like shit So I don't think I have to pay because if I had paid I would bring it back and get refund, no Yeah, basically. Yeah, so we even okay, so we even realize yet They haven't paid for something Then you should come back to the store. Okay. It's a long drive for me. Okay. You need to okay. I understand Okay, but don't don't you come at me pussy cut you sell me a sheet You sell me sheet a shuffle that a snap on the third hole. I barely put any weight on it Okay, so we bought we bought evil sheet right now. Okay. We bought in the wrong Well, if you didn't pay for it, then what's the issue? Because I calling to tell you your shovels are shit. Okay. You need to know I give you feedback You should be saying a thank you. I'll find for the feedback because other customer pay $55 for these to sheet a shovel and it a snap as soon as you put the foot on a shovel So you're just to you just calling to tell me that the shovel the shit is that I call to tell you I accidentally take a shovel and I snapped the sheet a shovel in in half No, I just a customer leave leaving and I if you look at the footage, okay I don't want any police call. Oh, oh, he took a shovel. He took a shovel. That's that's why that's why I'm calling That's why I call to make to make a sure. Okay that you know, I do. I'm not a thief. I don't want you say that I don't even know who you are. I don't have no idea Not going and that a staff who speak to me and that staff who speak to me first. I need a home address I need home address I've got work to do. So, okay Okay, I let you know, okay, but I'm not a thief. We have a deal. We have a deal. We have arrangement, huh? I'm not a thief and do you have a sheet of shovel? I don't. Are you done now? Because I've got work to do. Okay, I'll listen. I am done as long as you don't call police What? I am done as long as you don't call police. Okay pussy cat. I don't even know who you are. Okay. I just say I've got to call the police on a mystery person. Okay. Okay. Okay, even though I take a shovel and I stop let me talk. There's no point In you calling about a shovel because you didn't even pay for it. Okay. Okay. I just You're just wasting my time. Okay. Thank you. Goodbye. I was I love you darling Wow, a shovel is shit. You even got her to say that you call me because the the shovels is shit She's gonna go back and tell the original worker that like no that guy was serious. Oh, yeah He wanted your home address and you're gonna hear you laugh for a couple of times. Oh, yeah It's too funny, dude. When you oh Yeah, dude, some of the shit up near Dacabun. I couldn't handle it, dude when you said up near Dacabun All right guys Dacabun. That is the end of episode number five. Don't forget to like comment subscribe Leave a five star review on Spotify spread the word tell everyone about us We love you so much and we love you because you guys love us and we're one big community We're happy family nothing will ever tear us apart and we have laughter to bring us together for the rest of our lives And it also helps that we are the best with the best