 You're listening to Mind Pump the world's top fitness health and entertainment podcast now in this episode We talk all about purpose now. I remember when I was younger. I used to think purpose was overrated So what's the big deal if I'm having fun enjoying myself? Why does everybody always talk about purpose? Well, we got older We all realized that the key to success in life fulfillment is in finding purpose But boy, that's a lot easier said than done So in this episode, we talk all about finding purpose and what that looks like and why it's important to find purpose in Your life now this episode is brought to you by our sponsor Paleo Valley now Paleo Valley makes some pretty incredible Supplements, but one of our favorite products from Paleo Valley are their grass-fed meat sticks This is the best jerky you've ever had in your entire life great macros of course high in protein No carbohydrates. They're not dry. 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We're also gonna throw in maps hit maps hit is a high-intensity interval training program Designed to burn a lot of body fat a lot of calories in a short period of time So you heard that correctly all three programs maps anywhere Maps suspension and then we threw in maps hit all for $99.99 all of those retail for over $290 Here's how you take advantage of this huge promotion. Just go to maps November calm that's maps MAPS November calm You know I was reading a an article by Arthur Brooks. He wrote and he writes for the Atlantic And I love reading his stuff great writer always has such a good pragmatic positive view on things But there was something really interesting In that article so number one obviously he's very well-versed in economics. It's part of what he does But he cited he was a study Where it's an economist take numbers crunch them to see How much more or less wealthy we were today versus in the past adjusted for inflation and what they found and these are just hard numbers was that that today in All categories from the the lower middle to upper class Everybody in America today adjusted for inflation Is far wealthier and has more purchasing power and just generally materially speaking much better off Here's the crazy part depressions on the rise people claim to be a more unhappy. So this is the weird part since 1988 happiness joy Purpose meaning like all those positive things have been on a slow decline since 1988 since the Reagan years You know, it's crazy about this is that we have more stuff More entertainment bigger houses the average American today lives in a thousand square feet bigger Living space than they did You know 60 or 70 years ago There are we live longer There's lower crime crime is much lower than it was in 1988 across the country. This is a fact So for all intents and purposes, you would not expect to see that that people are less Happy and yet that's what they're finding well I think it's because we are a Consumer based society now everything's based around that and we we've been advertised to that since the 30s, right? That this is what makes you happy all the commercials and ads and you know, we continue to buy all these things And I think why it's why it's worked for so long is a lot of those things do give Temporary excitement and joy, right? So I think you when you initially buy something whether it be a new car a pair of tennis shoes Whatever it is that the first purchase and then when you get them There is a little bit of excitement and joy But it's fleeting after that and then I think it just feeds into this vicious cycle of trying to fill this Empty hole because you haven't found purpose in your life And so you're trying to fill it with all these goods and when you add in that with The marketing and the advertising and the way this whole machine works It's tough to break out of that and I think what we're finding today is That we can have so much more, you know, we we've talked about this before in the podcast that You know, we're not far away From every big everybody be able to have most things Which is which is so different than what it was just a hundred years ago, right? Oh, well today somebody who's poor has Access to things that the wealthiest people of all time 200 years ago didn't have because they didn't exist. We don't need to go that far You can say something like a television correct somebody who it could be on welfare, right and struggling to get by living paycheck to pay Or not having a paycheck at all. I Think average household has one and a half TVs or two and a half TVs in their house And just you know 50 60 years ago. That was a big deal if you had one was a big deal So, I mean hunger hunger has largely been solved in modern societies the point where in America You're far more likely to die of too much food than too little food. Well, and it makes me think too I remember we were talking with Justin Ren and he's out there trying to help people that have dirty water still But what his experience was that they were some of the most happy people that he's ever been around We are searching for the answers in places where the answers don't exist is what I you know Arthur Brooks talks about and what psychologists and scientists are talking about a Sense of purpose and meaning Cannot be found with the ways that I think people are trying to find them that doesn't mean it's not good that we're innovating and Creating new products and making life easier. That's all good. It's not bad But it's not gonna solve this problem Studies show that having a sense a strong sense of purpose are very protective to your health It's you're less likely to have Alzheimer's disease you live longer if you get cancer or get very ill People with a higher with a good sense of purpose have greater far greater emotional recovery When terrible things happen to them. It's a very important overall measure of your health or factor that contributes to you know Generally speaking you're just your total health. I've personally seen this too with people who are retiring And they don't really have anything lined up after that the slow decline it turns into a rapid decline like right in front of My eyes and this happened to a few of my dad's friends. Unfortunately have passed and really it was Once one of the partners passed and they passed and they just didn't recreate that purpose to carry them on From then on out. Well, again, I think that's another narrative that we're playing out that was told to us, right? We're supposed to go to these jobs We're supposed to work really hard by the house that we live in Spend most of your life trying to pay it off put a bunch of money away in savings and retirement And then finally with retirement happens and now life is just supposed to be so now you're supposed to enjoy it Yeah, and then what you find is and I've seen the same thing too myself. I'd love to see some actually Research on this. I'm sure there's some studies to support what we're talking about. Oh, yeah There is there's a Marked spike in death and illness right after retirement and they know that that's one of the reasons why is that they think it's because people lose that Drive and purpose that they maybe had from the work or career that identity was all wrapped up in yes Purpose the reason why it's so important for first off. It makes life Bearable even easy life, you know what we're seeing now studies are showing that you have kids or people in their 20s and 30s who They have a job. They have everything They're at home or in their apartment and they're just depressed there or or flat or anxious And they can't figure out what the hell is going on But on the other end this is why it's really important a sense of purpose Makes the hard parts of life bearable. This is the most important thing because I don't care who you are I don't care how much money you have or whatever you are There is something hard is going to happen to you in your life at some point Or several things are going to happen to you that are really hard and a sense of purpose is what makes those things Bearable without a sense of purpose when you get hit in the face with something very difficult You just want to die, you know, this reminds me of my very first client When I had my own personal training studio, so you know years ago When I left the the big box gyms, you know, I did a little stint in investments and then I opened up a personal training studio and I remember Uh, my first studio was in the back of a tanning salon and there was a lady that was walking around and I introduced myself And she ended up becoming my very first client And so I started training her for a little while and anyway long story short she became a trainer And fitness became her life, but I remember when I was training her about It was about six months in and personal trainings, you know relatively expensive It's not inexpensive. I think at the time I was charging 70 or 80 dollars an hour or a session And I remember her husband and they were straight middle class, right? And I remember her husband calling me and saying Hey sal when um, you know, I don't want to use her name But he said when when her sessions are done tell me Because this is really making a big difference and then he proceeded to tell me That I think it was something like five years prior their son Had been hit by a drunk driver. He was a 18 year old kid 19 year old kid And he got hit and was killed and I can't even imagine what that must have been like um, so I was training her and that helped her quite a bit and A couple of years later she opened up and talked about it And I would ask her questions and I said, how did you get through that? You know by that point I had my son and so I you know Once you have kids if you ever hear about someone losing a kid you think Wow, I don't know how you could possibly survive that And she said my daughter is what kept me alive and so what do you mean? She goes well, I have the older sister If I didn't have her I would have had no purpose to continue going It was that that right there that pulled me through that incredibly difficult time Because I had to stay strong and sane and healthy to raise her So that sense of purpose made the most for me something that sounds Absolutely unbearable Possible or bearable because of that sense of purpose You know, I can remember when uh You know, I first figured out that what I had been driving towards most of my life Was not fulfilling Not the way I thought it was and I think there's got to be You know a percentage of people that are listening that have something similar where they maybe they think That they have found their purpose and they're driving towards it and they and then they reach it and they get there And they realize like maybe that's not what it was all supposed to be, right? You know for me. I was I was so driven by Money and and reaching a place financially Where I thought okay, I would never have to worry about money. I'd have my house I'd never have to worry about money again I'd put enough in the bank or invest enough or have enough of my savings that I will have made it and at that point I'll be happy, you know, this this will be yet And I guess a lot of that You know internal conversation didn't happen exactly like that. I think, you know I just I'm put into certain circumstances as a child when we're younger We don't have a lot of things like that. So Internally, I'm driven to change that and that's all that I'm focused So I had this tunnel vision for you know, 20 years of my life And I remember waking up, um, you know in my mid to late 20s around 27 28 Uh, and I had more money in the bank account um, I had a place where I literally didn't have to work for a while had my house and Felt that I had reached this number that I had Decided that this was it like if I once I make this much, you know And what I thought was that was going to be like kind of a lifelong pursuit for me to get there So it seemed like this was a good purpose And I remember really sitting back and kind of evaluating my life and going like what my health was in the worst I had been in at that point I had some Relate the girl that I was dating at the time had just recently cheated on me. So I was in the middle of a breakup I had just lost a best friend of mine And not to death but to us no longer being friends anymore So we were on the outs my two closest friends And I weren't spending as much time together And when I started to look at all the other things in my life I was like, wow, this is crazy This thing that I thought was so important that I was driving towards that I thought was my purpose I'd kind of reached it and when I really evaluated all the other aspects of my life I was actually at some of the unhappiest times of my life And was that there must have been a hard realization? It was um, it was it was it was hard but then there was there was actually for me there was a moment of A little bit of like depressed feeling like oh, shit. This isn't what it's supposed to be But then there was also for me a weight that was lifted off like I got to that place because of out of fear, right? I was I was driven towards the money thing because I was afraid of being poor And that was a story that I was telling myself in my head for so long And then once I had reached that and realized, okay, I'm not going to be poor. I'm going to be okay But this isn't what makes me happy There was kind of this relief that of this weight coming off my shoulders of oh wow now I can actually Focus on maybe what truly drives me and makes me happy and not Driving myself out of fear. And so my point is sharing that is Sometimes we're driven towards what we think is our purpose because we're still Running from something that is rooted in our childhood or that we're fearful of and because that gave me purpose I thought it was the right purpose And it wasn't until I obtained that that I realized that this isn't my purpose This is not why I was put here and this doesn't actually make me happy So a little bit of depression at first, but then it was this weight off my shoulders. Okay now Let's begin seeking what is really going to give me true purpose. Yeah, and I think that brings us to the first Probably one of the more important points, which is To practice gratitude and I think that's probably what took you out of that little depressed feeling, right? You started feeling grateful Right for figuring that out. Um, I know I've told this I haven't told this story in a long time on the podcast, but in my early 30s Now up until that point working in fitness training clients body obsessed myself Obviously, I was driven by same, you know insecurities about you know, being a skinny kid or whatever So I kind of identified with being this muscular strong, you know fit trainer and my health took a turn and you know Rebelled on me essentially and I remember I couldn't no matter what I ate. I had severe digestional issues I was losing weight. I lost almost 15 pounds in a in a couple months Which to somebody who's identifies with their body works in fitness And thinks they know it all you want to talk about an ego check I can't even stop my body from from getting skinny and feeling weak People, you know clients commenting my family asking me what's going on doctors couldn't figure it out and I went on this journey of Focusing on health rather than focusing on what I looked like So I did the whole thing right to do elimination diet and I figured out Um, I had to treat my gut issues and I stopped focusing so much on what I look like and uh, what at the end of it really what ended up happening is I ended up Really developing the voice that I have now on the podcast like how I talk about health and fitness Came from that moment and it was the gratitude that I had Because during that period of time was hard But believe it not easy right? It's not easy Eating food and it not work no matter what you do and Counter to all the things that you think are Right. I mean I'm eating all the stuff. I think it's healthy. It's just not working And I remember there was a point where I had I became grateful and I said, you know what? This is going to force me to look at things a little different It's going to force me to face things that I haven't faced Um in in terms of my relationship to exercise And to nutrition And it was that that got me out of it and and that's really important It's it's that practicing gratitude, but it's not practicing gratitude when it's obvious You know, I'm saying it's like, you know, you win the lottery or you hit a home run. I'm so grateful, you know This really only works when you're and you got to be grateful for that. You're sick of it. That's it You gotta be grateful when shit's hard. I can remember that too and that You know from coming back from going to school across the country and trying to figure out what I was going to do for a career And trying to please everybody around me Uh, I was very reactionary to life and and this was a thing that I realized Um, I was I hadn't found my purpose yet and and I was unhappy and I was I was pretty much like just facing whatever adversity or whatever, uh Obstacle was in front of me, uh, just based off of, uh, you know, the odds what I was going to face for that day Uh, and it was really until I started to focus Specifically on things that I was very grateful for that were in my life at the time and then Things that I really enjoyed A part of my day from my job or from the activities I was doing I started to really focus my efforts around those things that it started to reveal itself for me And so it wasn't even until I I could Corral my thoughts and sort of gain the you know, the the steering wheel and take myself to where I wanted to go But I had I had to practice gratitude I had to I had to be able to see those things that were right in front of me that were otherwise just uh invisible Oh, it's a great practice. It's like think of a challenging difficult thing that's happening to you Now, um, or maybe happen to you in the past Something that you're struggling with and it can be and it can be it can be a lot of it can be something That's really terrible. You could have lost a loved one or have a spouse that cheated on you Or you came came down with an illness that maybe to this day affects you Um and think about something you'd be grateful about about that moment and that's a really hard thing to do You know, especially if you're thinking about someone that you lost that you loved Like what am I grateful about what are you talking about? I lost my my best friend Something came out of that that you can look back at and say, you know what though? I'm grateful for this it forced me to be a better person or forced me to Value my relationships differently or forced me to change This thing about myself because that gives purpose and meaning To the difficult parts of your life that type of gratitude. That's what practicing gratitude literally means Well, I think too you have to You have to practice gratitude first before you can become fully present Because it's interesting creatures. We are right. We have these we set these goals and we're constantly focused on this destination that we want to get to Meanwhile, our life is like Full of all these little hidden gems and moments and things for us to be happy and grateful for but many times we don't stop We haven't acknowledged them. Yeah, we don't because we're we're not present. We're we're focused on the next thing we're focused on A goal or a place that we want to get And and we fail to be grateful and become present with what's right in front of us And so I think in order to be present and which we talk about on this show at nauseam In this time that it's so important with all the distraction we have In order to get there you must first learn to be grateful for the things that you do have When you are grateful for the things that you do have then you start to slow down those moments and slow down those days Like I work so hard to provide for my family because I want to be a good father but not at the Not to trade off of not being present as a dad, right? So you have to remember those things like and at we always use we talk about how Someone's death bed they never stopped and then whenever said like oh, I wish I would have Worked 10 more hours and made x amount more money. Yeah, so think about that I was thinking too about you know how you buy a car and then you see cars that are the same everywhere Like immediately and that's that's how I look at too. How I was looking at all my problems At one point I was seeing problems. I could see all kinds of problems all of a sudden spurring like every day I was like, oh my god, all this stuff is happening to me. It's all happening to me Versus when I started to start really looking at positive things that were happening and Things that that I was enjoying and man all of a sudden now those are starting to pop up there Well, and well, we start to you know, the more you practice this And it's hard, right? You guys are talking about you know, deaths in the family and these really challenging things, but The the greater the challenge the greater the reward is on the other side of it, right? So when you become really present and you practice this gratitude then you start to look at these Difficult times in your life and you recognize them as oh, wow This may present actually the most opportunity for growth and I'm grateful for this situation It completely reframes The situation that you're going through instead of it being something that is oh my god poor me. This is terrible This sucks. It's like of course. There's nothing wrong with grieving over somebody who died In your family or going through hardship and knowing like oh man, this sucks. It's hard But then also recognizing like oh, wow This is also going to present one hell of an opportunity for me to grow and become a better version myself Practicing gratitude helps you when you're in those moments training for when you're in those moments If you're constantly Training yourself like that and that's why you have so many books that are written around You know things like this like the last 15 minutes before bed is sitting down and writing your five or seven or 10 Things are grateful for in the day all that is it's not like there's something magical about doing that one time It's your training yourself To think that way so so that when you get hit with adversity you get hit with these challenging moments You don't you don't dwell in them for weeks and months and spiral into depression You have the ability right away to reframe and be grateful for the situation. That's the most important point That's why it's practice. Uh, it's not um, you know remind yourself or try to be You practice it so it becomes automatic Then it becomes your go-to when things get difficult But it does take consistent practice just like if you want to get good at a squat You have to practice the squat constantly to get really good at the same thing is with with gratitude now the next one this one's interesting because studies will show that people who Volunteer okay volunteer workers people who work for charities don't get paid anything They work the hardest they tend to work the most hours oftentimes And simultaneously they have some of the highest work satisfaction yet. They're not getting paid So that brings us to the second one, which is Learn to serve others. Um, and I've experienced this Myself many many times, you know doing things for other people Not for money not for Uh, not even to get recognized but just for the sake of it like I'm doing this for this other person Even if they don't recognize it, even if other people don't see it That gives you a really really good strong Sense of of purpose and meaning. This is something that you know I've learned from friends of mine that that have done this with their kids You know, I have some friends that are very very successful and wealthy and we talk sometimes about how to Make sure your kids grow up and realize they're, you know, how lucky they are to to grow up with such nice things and to be so privileged And um, they tell me that one of the best things they did is have their children go Unlike these, you know, six month missions or whatever where they go and they build houses for people or feed people or Work for other people for free and he says they come, you know, they came back totally different I remember when I trained when I was a personal trainer I had a lot of a lot of clients that were doctors and there were a couple of them that did that I think it's called doctors without borders where they travel And they'll do work and stuff And it's totally on their time. They're not getting these are high paid very busy Surgeons and they're busy anyway. They already worked tons of hours. Anyway, and they'll take a month or two months and go fly somewhere and live in some, you know, hut or You know, share a room with a bunch of beds with other doctors Do their services for free and when they'll come back, they're tired Exhausted but they all say by far that's that is so much more meaning more meaningful than than what I do At work anyway, because they're serving other people. Yeah provides perspective. It allows you to Peer into somebody else's life that, you know, and their their struggles are no different. I mean, they're they're different, but Everybody everybody's going through life through adversity and, you know, finding their way through and if you can help somebody that's very rewarding back You know, to you being involved in helping somebody through that and I think a lot of times This is just good to break That sort of loop that we get in about thinking about our own problems our own things that are happening to us constantly It helps you to Now be able to kind of relief release release yourself from that A constant thought process and really just pour yourself into somebody else and lift them up. I also think that It's a very powerful tool So even though this isn't the intent that I think You go into this, but it's something that I've recognized over years of being in business and then also helping other entrepreneurs that want to Scale or be better at what they do is, you know, leading with a service mind first and You know, some of the best and most successful people that I've ever met understand this really well They look for things that they can do for you And if you do that without thinking like, oh, what am I going to get in return? Like you truly do it to help others and be of service to other people It does come back tenfold. It's the most amazing thing ever when you spend a life of Being that person where you're truly trying to give and help others There's a percentage of those people that will also return that favor And it's a compounding thing that you do over years and years and years equity. Yeah, absolutely It's equity. I'll never forget the first time that I went to a funeral of A man that I think really understood this and I'll never forget seeing just like Hundreds and hundreds of people That were lining up to to speak to the wife afterwards because of the life the life that he led of giving to others And it's like gets me emotional just thinking about it. How powerful that is It's like you can become the richest man in the world by working really hard and saving your money and investing well And then you die and nobody gives a shit, you know Maybe the those that are closest to you care a little bit But then nobody ever talks about you nobody ever thinks about you ever again You're you're now gone from this earth But take that same person that dedicated their life to serving others versus trying to serve themself all the time And those people will speak volumes of that person for an eternity They'll be talked about all the time about the type of life that they led It was a very powerful moment for me when I when I saw that it completely Reframed the way how I look at success and I remember thinking to myself like man And I've said this before in my interviews and it always comes off terrible because It sounds like a map like I have a massive ego or narcissistic over it like when I say that When I die You know what I would love to fill a stadium full of people and not because I'm famous but because I've impacted so many lives I've done so much for other people that they feel that they want to come there to pay their respects and When I say that it comes off as this narcissistic guy who wants to have thousands of people You know going to his funeral guns and roses Yeah, but it's really not about that what it's really about is that you know Have I led a life like that that I've truly tried to serve and help other people so much and to so many That that many people think about me when I pass pass away and I just think that Finding your purpose part of that that work is Going in to serve others and it's extremely rewarding when you piece it together. Absolutely Now the next one this one, you know studies show is actually quite important but we're going to break it down a little bit because It can mean a few different things and that's to practice Spirituality now that can mean religion It can mean connecting with nature for some people meditation And you know working on awareness for other people But the reason why this is important because is because it helps you Realize things that are bigger than you and bigger than life And I know some people think like oh, I don't you know, I don't want to worship anything or I don't worship anything That's actually false. Okay. We all worship something whatever your top value is Is what you end up worshiping so whether that be You know god or money or power or honor It's your actions reflect what you actually worship. It's what drives all your decisions Ends up being what you worship and if what you worship is something that is bigger than you something that is Perfect something that is Maybe even esoteric That can really give things a lot of purpose and meaning Versus something material Spirituality is immaterial. That's what the that's you know, if if spirituality is not something it's not something That is material, you know like worshiping money or power or sex You get those things and you realize You know now what? Spirituality is bigger than you and in lots and lots and lots of studies show that People and the studies are done on religious people mainly because that's the more classic Example of spirituality. It's the one we have lots of examples of People who are deeply religious live longer get sick less are healthier and have much more Joyful lives that report more joyful lives And a lot of it has to do with the fact that they have this spiritual practice That gives Good things meaning but even more importantly gives bad things meaning. Yeah, it's interesting if you think about it logically Uh and you know, and you're not a religious person, but you think of the idea of the perfect Version the perfect being that you could try to be like but you never really can achieve that But your whole goal in life is to sharpen what you're doing get better And and constantly grow If you look at it like that, I mean it makes a lot of sense even to somebody who may be not be that religious You know have that kind of background. Well, this follows the the last one really well, right? You So you alluded to that everybody worships something based off of what you do So even if you're not religious, you're either chasing honor power money All these things, right? But all those things are very selfish. They're all self-centered, right honor power money These are all things and they're fulfillable too, right and they all serve me Versus serving others and so the reason why I think that there's such Strong cases for why this is so good and religion is a good example of that Is because I think it lays the blueprint out for most people that don't understand how to pursue this So if you're a non-religious person, I I believe that the key to this Is is selflessness. It's it's a lot of that is recognizing that there's there's Other things other than yourself or serving yourself that is greater than you And why now and that's a great point because you think yourself well, okay. Well, what's spiritual about that? Well, it's not because Objectively speaking it doesn't make sense And so what I mean by that is if I were to sit here without a spiritual practice and say What makes the most sense? What should I do in my life? Well, I should do everything that makes me for me Right, it doesn't make sense to do things for other people like a pleasure monkey. Yeah, it's exactly. It's got to be all For me that's objectively true, right? And I could make a case for it objectively I could make a case Why are you helping those people over there giving them their your money? Or why are you devoting your time and getting tired when you could be going and having fun doing stuff for you? Life becomes very self-centered When you don't have a spiritual practice when you have a spiritual practice It's not about you anymore and now it's about other it's about whether it be god or other people It's about serving other people and you know religious leaders I know bishop baron calls it spiritual physics that The more you serve the more energy you get back the more you put out love the more love you get back It's totally true. I've never felt more. I've never felt better than exhausting myself serving others. You know, I mean It feels much better From a spiritual sense than than doing things Just for me and so in order to overcome your natural objective that natural Desire to always serve yourself spirituality helps you Overcome that. Well, why am I doing things for other people? Well, because I'm connected to everybody that might be a form of spirituality You know, everybody's connected. You hear people say that or I or I worship god and god says that this is What we do so I serve others So this is very very important to helping people find purpose and studies If you're just a science-driven person, by the way, studies prove this that spiritual practices really help lead to this Um, but again, just like the others it is a practice So just like if you want strong muscles It doesn't happen from one workout. It doesn't happen from two workouts. It doesn't happen from inconsistent workouts It happens from consistency And it happens from consistency over a long period of time Like you don't work out for a month and then stop every year or whatever you do it all the time Spirituality is like that as well. You practice it on a daily basis on a weekly basis and you do it consistently Part of that I think is goes to our next point, which is you know seeking vulnerability, you know things that make you feel Uncomfortable or that are challenging, you know It's like anything that is comes easy is never rewarding and even if it feels good for a minute It's a moment and then it's gone. It's the things that took a long time or that were challenging or challenged you You were scared. You were nervous. It was hard. This is out of your comfort zone Those are the things that are going to give you the greatest purpose And some people get this really early on and then they become they they're fear seekers like and that's face your fears, right I feel like when you when you figure this you unlock this like oh, wow The worst that happens is failure. The worst that happens is I fall down I can always get back up again You begin somebody you begin to become somebody who starts to seek out All these situations where you're very vulnerable because you realize How fulfilling it is and how rewarding it is to be chasing it. Well, do you guys remember? Can you remember a time when you? opened yourself up And we're very vulnerable to your partner where you said something that maybe you Revealed something that you really don't like to reveal to anybody else because you're either ashamed Or embarrassed or because it makes you feel weak Or or not strong And then they hear it and they accept it And then they love you and you never feel closer than you do in that moment because Being vulnerable allows now now. Here's why it's vulnerable. You open yourself up to ridicule You open yourself up to shame You it's like swinging it's like playing a sport versus not playing the sport If you play it you you you're in the risk of losing if you don't then you'll never win or lose You never have any risk, right when you make yourself vulnerable You run the risk of getting crushed, but if you don't you that's how you get very close It's also what makes you grow. It's that self growth. That's what drives growth. In fact It's the definition of love, right? I mean you you're not really gonna love somebody unless you're vulnerable And you can you give them all of yourself versus just a portion of it So you don't get hurt because of the rejection or whatever it is, you know That that you're that you're withholding and so it's it really is it's an all in Kind of an approach and and to do to be all in and to find your purpose. You really do need to put those uncomfortable parts out and and allow What what's the unfold to unfold? Yeah, and you you you can't grow when you're comfortable nothing on the body changes nothing in the mind Or the spirit changes from Being comfortable first of all change is scary Change takes energy Growth takes all those things and it doesn't happen unless you are so uncomfortable that it has to happen Right and so this is where self growth comes from you never grow from doing things relaxed and whatever Growth comes from doing the hard stuff And even more importantly if you want to be able to do this repeatedly It's to do the hard things and love the fact that they're hard Which is you know makes things so much it makes it a practice Yeah, I was gonna ask you guys if you guys subscribe to the you know find what you love or love what you do Yeah, there's different camps right people that believe that oh seeking out something that you follow What's the quote goes if you love what you do you never have to work another day in your life, right? So trying to find something that you're in love with or trying to find love within what you do It's like millennials versus gen Z. Yeah Yeah, I mean, you know what I think if you're always seeking what's gonna what you love You're gonna be seeking a lot and you'll be bouncing from thing to thing I think the key really is to learn to love what you're doing Um, so because that's really the the the trick that's the skill Because no matter we can remember I think we confuse love with the feeling of love, right? Like oh, it's the like feel good feeling love is an action And uh, it requires um like diligence, um, and you have to be conscious about it Although it oftentimes does accompany a feeling Um, or come with this feeling if you're always seeking that feeling of love It's gonna be very hard to be consistent. It's gonna be very very hard Um to do to you you'll always be on this path of looking well Yeah, I think I think one guarantees that you find purpose and the other one doesn't So if you are trying to find love, right? I'm trying to find something that you love you may end up seeking your entire life and never find it If you learn to love what you do There's a very good chance that you'll fall into something that was your purpose. So it's a dangerous path I think that some and you know Justin's jab at the millennials, you know, I don't know if it's so much a Age thing as much as it is there is there is definitely a a group of our population That is chasing and trying to trend, right trying to find purpose And uh, you know, I I love what Gary v always says to that, you know You're too young to to find purpose right now You need to eat shit for seven years and then it'll find you right and that and that's how I feel about it Ironically, you'll find purpose like that way. Yeah. No, it's true. It's just and you you love what you do You just you've decided I've committed. I'm gonna do this I'm gonna be the best at whatever it is I am even if it's not the thing I'm gonna be doing for the rest of my life And eventually that you'll find something that you love versus I'm going to hold out and not do this and not do that because I'm pretty sure I don't love that I'm pretty sure I don't love that and then you end up finding yourself You're gonna train yourself to keep putting things off And really you just need to get in and get invested in it and even though it's gonna suck You know that there's ways for you to reframe What's in front of you and start really looking at what it's teaching you what you're learning from I have a great example of this Right, so I hate housework I hate Yard work both things I can't stand right. I used to hate them. I should say And so when I would do them was like, oh god, you know, I'm washing the dishes. I gotta fold the laundry I gotta mow the lawn. This really sucks And then I had a bit of an epiphany It was exactly what we're talking about. I said, why don't I find a way To love doing this. What if I could do that? I mean, I I feel like I could Work on that. I must I'm a growth oriented person. This is what I thought about myself at least So let me see if I can do that. And so I found That switch happened and I found myself actually it was quite meditative To wash dishes and to do laundry and to to mow the lawn all of a sudden I found myself Looking forward to being able to put my headphones on turn on the lawnmower Mow the lawn pay attention to the detail rather than getting it done because I hate it so much I actually did a better job as a result of it and I actually found myself Enjoying what I was doing. It was really a mental switch more than anything. I didn't change anything else other than Then I said to myself I might as well choose to learn how to like to do this since I have to do this. Yeah, you gotta do it anyway You just hit a very very important key to that. I think which is you started to do a better job When you go into and I think of like that with the workforce because one of the things I think of most people as you're a young general young kid coming up is Struggling to find purpose is the job right that you love to do and one of the the great things about that is When you go into a job and I think about like when I used to you know Milk cows like milking cows and shoveling shit like there's nothing fun about that right this But finding a way to love what I'm doing and be good at what I'm doing ends up attracting other people I remember I got another job after that because somebody saw my work ethic And saw the the success that I was having for them that had nothing to do with me loving what I was doing But then I ended up transitioning into another job that ended up liking more And so a lot of times when you go into these situations that maybe you're not in love with it But you find a way to love it and be good at it it ends up leading to another opportunity. Oh, yeah It's uh, I mean you become good at everything that you do think about that if Think about the things that you're good at that you're really really good at It's usually things that you enjoy so imagine that switch if you could make that mental switch For what you're doing at the moment find a way to enjoy it And then what you'll find is you do better at it and then like anything it turns into a skill Boy, do you become uh, I mean dangerous in the workforce? Do you become someone that attracts other people who want to work for it opens up doors? I'm pretty sure it opened up doors for you Adam without you realizing. Yeah, no, that's a great an example I think of that as like and again, this is this is me thinking about video games, but What you learn in the hard levels like to get to the next level You have to do all of the the hard work to get to the to the one that's going to be harder Even still and so you might not even be ready for that one yet So if you're if you're trying to get to what you think is going to be your purpose So I see something out there on the horizon. I'm like, oh, I want that so bad and that's all I want I'm just gonna like throw all these other opportunities away When all those other opportunities may have been the stepping stones you needed to learn to get to that place Dude, I remember this made me think of a story. Um, when I was 12 I went to Sicily with my family and I had gone before but I was real young I think I was like two or three. So 12 is when I really remember. I was my first trip When I met my dad's family that I really remembered And um, they would tell me stories of my great-grandfather my grandfather my other grandfather and uncles and You know, they they definitely were It compared to our standards They were poor but especially when you go into my grandfather's generation And my great-grandfather's generation in Sicily were extremely poor and they were telling me stories about my great-grandfather And how much people loved to work with him. So in those days in Sicily You either work the land or you own the land very few people own the land So most people work the land and my great-grandfather one of the things he did was Help tend to these lemon orchards Sicily's known for For their lemons and they would pick lemons and put them in boxes and carry the boxes and and move them out and Workers would pull straws in order to see you could work with my great-grandfather Everybody wanted to work with my great-grandfather And the reason they they wanted to work with them and this is the stories that they told me was because He told incredible stories and jokes. So while you're working in the hot sun Picking the lemons all day long enjoyable. Yeah, he would tell these great stories And these great jokes and so everybody fought to work with him now. Here's the other side of it He also was known as Being one of the most productive workers. In fact, whoever worked with him produced more Were able to pick more lemons or whatever then they would have they not why? Because they were enjoying themselves because they found a way to love what they were doing So remind me of that story. Now the next one this one. I've heard before But it kind of does make sense and I have a personal story for this so Years ago, and I even said it earlier in this episode years ago I uh, you know, I worked in big gyms And then I transitioned and owned my own personal training studio But there's actually a period of time in between that about eight months long That I didn't work in the fitness space I had thought when I left big big box gyms, which Here's what it was like working the big box gym for me when I was a general manager I would get in at 8 or 9 a.m. And I would come home 9 or 10 p.m. And it was six days a week. It was a lot of work I made good money, but it was a lot of work now I enjoyed the hell out of it. But at this point I was, you know, thinking about starting a family I'm like, this is a lot of hours. This is really crazy Um, I know I'm good with with my words and I'm good in sales Let me see if I can do something else that's less hours and maybe Gets me more money My aunt worked uh in the banking industry and she said, you know, maybe I'll get you an interview So you can talk to my boss and see if you can get in on the investment side And you can make good money and your hour, you know, you work bankers hours, right? So nine to five or really you work nine to three or four by the way When I was the bank everybody was out of there by that time. So I said, let me give it a shot So I went in got interviewed they hired me and I did the I got my my my series six and 63 license And eventually I was going to get a series seven license and all that stuff And so I'm taking the test and doing the whole thing and I'm working in the bank and And I found myself Half the time I was in the bank Talking to people about fitness talking to people about nutrition Giving people workouts my co-workers the the people coming into the bank Like this is what I was talking about all the time and when I wasn't talking about that I was looking up at the clock waiting for lunchtime so I could take my break waiting for four o'clock so I could go home And I realized that um what I would do for free and this is the next one Is talk about fitness Think about that if you want to work in a way that serves your purpose Think to yourself. What would I what would I do for free? For me talking about fitness and health and self-improvement Is something that I did in a job that had almost nothing to do with it because I enjoyed doing it so much It's something that I would do for free. I would do this podcast For free Well, not only did we do that, but even so, you know We recently have you know, we set and did our you know set up buy sell agreements or something That's a responsible thing for us to do. You know Doug's getting old. We want to make sure in case he dies He'll outlive all of us. Yeah. Yeah. No, that's the truth there The rest of us are we're going to go sooner, right? Yeah No, it's a responsible thing for us to do at this point is like, you know, what all the what ifs You know, what if somebody left what if someone passed away yada yada So we we've had to do that right and part of that goes Of getting to that place. We had to do evaluation on the businesses and You know It's pretty interesting to see like oh if we were to actually sell off what it would look like And one of the things that things that everybody said is like, you know, even if We got paid 10x of what the even the valuation is like What would you guys do and we all agreed like I'd still want a podcast I still wouldn't want to not do that. So all the money in the world Being paid out to us wouldn't make a difference on we still doing this or not That to me is a real good sign that you're aligned with what you should be doing You know, whatever Amount of money that someone could pay you for it doesn't even matter You would still do it whether you're not getting paid or you got paid all in the money of the world And you don't necessarily need to work anymore. Would you still get up and go to work? People don't realize like when we started the podcast we were all working. Okay. I I had my personal training Studio Justin was Training Adam was doing his own business and we're building a social media business On the side at that time all of us had full-time Doug Was selling insurance. We were all working Full-time and what we used to do Is we would meet first in Doug's living room and then in a tiny little cramped studio And we would meet there at like six o'clock at night or whatever after we worked So after a full day's of work and we would sit there and record till 10 o'clock at night Yeah, and we got have a blast and we got paid nothing We got paid nothing for a full year of just sitting, you know, we had no podcast experience No media experience I mean you asked us then we thought we would have been great But but the reality is the odds were way against us But one thing I remember about that was we would come in and end of the day I'm tired as soon as I walk in we start talking to mics. We're talking about health We're talking about fitness. We'll talk about, you know, self-improvement and lifting weights and all this other stuff that we love talking about and talking to each other And four hours five hours we felt like 10 minutes. It was like 10 minutes. It was gone And that was crazy to me. It's like, you know, we figure out how to monetize it It's like, you know what though that we we led with one of the other important points that we met or pointed out though Like the desired outcome was really to provide as much free valuable information. It was serving others Yeah, it really was and it wasn't like, okay How are we going to turn this into a cash cow and how are we going to make a bunch of money? It's like, hey, listen, there is a lot of bad information out there We've got a ton of experience and we want to shed light on that and give to all these people We'll figure out if it's meant to be a business later. I looked at it is is super valuable just for my clients I mean, I was still training all these clients and I would have these conversations with them after where you're done with our Sessions, you know, it's just it was an extension of that. It felt like to me like I'm I always like to to be available if I know something to pass it on to somebody and that's really rewarding And I felt like, you know, this is what we were doing in the beginning So it didn't feel like we were working. Right, right Now the next one this is this one kind of goes back to what you were talking about earlier adam When you said, you know, if you pass and you want a stadium full of people It's asking yourself. What is going to be your legacy? You know, how do you want to be remembered? I think this can kind of shed light a little bit in terms of what your purpose Maybe like what are the things you want to be remembered for if you were to pass away In a year. Um, is it because do you want to be remembered for You know having the the the You know biggest biceps uh being the most shredded for Being the most fit having the most money probably not it's probably Something like I'd like to be remembered by people You know, if I think off the top of my head, I like to be remember be remembered as being someone who's kind I'd like to be remembered as somebody that uh, wasn't afraid to stand up for other people I would like to be remembered by my children And my grandchildren as being Uh, somebody that led uh the way, you know, the legacy I think is important that legacy question I think it helps us Take things off that we think maybe we you know, we're driven towards and we think wait a minute Maybe that isn't my purpose. I don't really care if I'm remembered, you know by that thing right there Yeah, it's stuff with more substance You know, that's what lasts and and that's I think to like to me it speaks like integrity and And uh, that's a big one for me. I want to be remembered You know for Sort of following the the values that I I hold dear and being consistent with that and uh, and also being kind and being fair and You know those types of things that uh, I want to be a better model and example For my kids to look at you know, like where I got to So that way that that to me has way more meaning and then more legacy And then if anybody else looks at that as an example and can benefit then I'm even more happy I feel like mine summed up in one word. I want to I want to be remembered as a great leader Uh, and a lot of the things that we're talking about In order to be a great leader, uh, you need to encompass all these things We had a recent episode too about uh being a great dad's the same same thing You know the attributes that it takes I think to be a great father. I think the uh the ways to find purpose All these all these attributes. I think are are all encompassing and being a great leader If you've got this all kind of figured out, I think you'll you'll lead a life like that And others will look to you like that and I think that that's where this comes from with the whole You know narcissistic sounding uh stadium thing, right? It's like it's not uh that I I want to be famous at all Like I just I want to have let a life where others had looked up to what I had provided or given to them Like a life of service that everybody goes, you know, oh my god. He was kind. Oh my god. He was humble Oh, he was strong. He was confident. He gave me this I have all I want people to have received a ton from me and feel that way that I never asked for anything in return And then that's their way of coming there and showing up. Oh, you you end up leaving people better off than Had you not been around, right? That's the legacy. I'm talking to my grandfather Um a couple weeks ago, you know, my grandfather now is you know, he's up there in age. He's 89 And uh, he's now has stage four prostate cancer and it's in his bones and he's doing okay right now But you you know, it's obviously we're being faced with the fact that my grandfather He's probably not going to be around much longer and he's being faced with that and I remember I was sitting sitting with him at the dinner table And uh, I'd never had him tell me like really You know from beginning to end how he came to america What that whole process looked like and I mean, what a tough situation I mean He first had to go to he's very very poor had to go to venenzuela and his wife was Behind in italy and he'd send her back money and then she came on a boat to meet him there And they both went back to cistli then he came to america and he came through, you know, chicago And then eventually made it to california So he's telling me this whole story of how we worked and he cleaned movie theaters He was a custodian at you know schools. He worked in factories and he's telling me this whole story And then he gets a little teary-eyed And he says, you know sally goes Right now because you know, we all were my whole family was there He goes, I look at my house and it's full with all my kids All my grandkids and even some of my great-grandkids and he goes, uh, I could die right now and I'll be very happy He goes, I this is the legacy that I left that I started And I mean incredible right and I thought to myself. Yeah, that's that sounds that sounds like a pretty damn good Good purpose Now this next one. I think it helps you Find your purpose because I know this is a challenge for some people. I think sometimes people sit around there What's my purpose? What am I doing? What's the deal? You know what can help a lot is to surround yourself with people who seem to be driven By a sense of purpose. It really does help it helps a lot contagious. It is totally contagious I mean if you surround yourself with people who Don't seem to have any direction Or sense of purpose You know, you're you probably gonna fall on the same situation or at least if you don't have a sense of purpose yet It'll be hard to find one Especially if you're around other people who don't have one Themself say you are the sum of the five people Yeah, you're an average you're an average of the people the five people you spend the most time with And I believe in that I believe that and that from everything from financially spiritually all the things that you could Talk about that those people What they make up you are an average of all of that for sure and I wish I understood that better Even younger It took me a while probably my mid 20s before this this started to come together for me And it probably took me into my 30s before I really really figured it out and evaluated it more often because it's hard You know, a lot of us are Attached to certain people for whatever reason many times by the way The things that draw us together are shit that has to do with insecurities and stuff stuff that You you are dealing with and so you're drawn to that person because you guys find that in common, right? So you guys can both Bitch about it. Yeah, it's it's true. And even if you don't intentionally do that subconsciously We we it's natural for us to gravitate to others that we are a lot alike And so if you're still young and you attach yourself to this circle of people That are all struggling with the same shit you are It's real It's a quick easy way for you to get stuck in that place for a very long time you want to be reaching for people that are Reaching for to be a better person and to be do better in their life And so evaluating that circle five all the time. I think is extremely what it is Is if you if you're hanging around a bunch of people who are not purpose driven Who don't challenge you? You're you're comfortable You're definitely comfortable. It's easy. You know, you might feel like you're the you're the best You're sitting in a room. You're not growing You're sir, you know sitting around in a room full of guys and girls that aren't doing much with their life And you think hey, it's not so bad. I'm not doing so bad. And you know, I'm not I know I haven't gone very far. I don't have much drive, but whatever. So these people all around me It's definitely uncomfortable to constantly be surrounded by people who are driven by purpose Because it'll challenge you to to look on yourself and it's hard When you are not feeling driven not feeling sense of purpose not doing the things that we just said in this In this podcast and then you're surrounded by people who do You know, you're surrounded by people who who have all your similar Circumstances and yet they continue to do these other things that'll make you uncomfortable So it's not necessarily easy, but it is extremely valuable So this is why it's good to surround yourself with with purpose driven people Because it'll constantly challenge you to be that person yourself Look, mind pump is recorded on video as well as audio so you can come check us out on youtube mind pump podcast You can also find all of us on instagram including dug the producer You can find dug at mind pump bug dug Justin at mind pump just and me at mind pump sal and adam at mind pump adam mind pump bug My butt bug it dug the bug. Yeah a new nickname. Yes Dug the bug dug the bug. I'm more competitive. I can't say that. I'm the best at anything in the world Right. Can you guys say that at all? No, right? No, no, right? You think I over here to think about everything. Yeah, he's like, well, let me think about kind of the best I'm pretty good at a lot. It's probably somebody else. I'm pretty good at a lot of things Let me think you're real quick. I'm also the best at being humble