 From Chicago, we invite you to enjoy life. Life with Luigi, a new comedy show created by Cy Howard and starring J. Carol Nash with Alan Reed. A year ago when Luigi Basko left Italy to start his new life in America, he promised his mother that he would write her and tell her about his adventures. So now we look over Luigi's shoulder as he writes another letter to Mama Basko in Italy. Dear Mamma Mia, is a now big shopping season in America. Everywhere signs, news of papers and radio, they tell people there is only 24 shopping days till Christmas. Mamma Mia, with the money I got I can do all of my Christmas shopping in 24 minutes. Streets is filled with excited people rushing to buy things. In Chicago, main shopping section is called The Loop. I guess that's because everybody run around in a circle. Department stores even have doors which you run around in a circle. It's called revolving door. People walk in and the door walk in with them. It's also many other wonderful things. Like in old country, when a man wants to go to the second floor, he walks upstairs. In a department store, man stands still and the stairs walk up. Yes Mamma Mia, everybody here getting ready to celebrate the Christmas. Except the Pasquale, my country man, who brings me to America. Only celebration he wants is for me to marry his daughter Rosa. And the Mamma, that Rosa is so fat. If she ever stand on a street for five minutes, policemen give her ticket for double parking. Anyway, this morning I open up my antique store and I'm talking with my 12 year old general manager Jimmy O'Connor, who's like a son to me, and Jimmy he say, Hey boss, here's the mail. Is the letter from my mamma? Not today boss. Then who write to me? There's quite a few here. It's a wonderful country. I don't write anybody but I get answers anyway. Today is the 30th. It's the end of the month. So what? It happened 12 times a year. Like Uncle Pietro say, everything has end except sausage. Sausage has two ends. But tomorrow is the first, so the bills come in today. Is it too bad the month don't start on the fifth? Then we have more time to pay bills. With the money we haven't got it won't make much difference. Someday I pay. Right now we keep a record. I write on the page, bills are standing out. That's bills outstanding. Okay, read the bills. It's from the Edison company. It's a pleasure to hear from Mr. Edison. Fine man, electric light is a wonderful invention. If Edison don't invent electric light, Edison and company go out of business. How much we owe Mr. Edison? $4.38. Is it worth the money I'm gonna owe them? If you don't pay they'll turn off the juice. Then we use candles, like in old country. If we do, then this place is sure gonna be spooky. All these old statues and old furniture, candles? In old days everybody used candles. Even Abraham Lincoln. He was a poor fellow Jimmy. He lived in a log cabin, walked every day to school in the snow. Work in the store just like you. And then study at the night by candle. And then he become a president. That's getting you the White House the hard way. Even harder Lincoln was a Republican. What's next Bill Jimmy? Gas, $4.12. Maybe we better cut down on our cooking. From now on we boil three minute eggs in two minutes. Guess how much the telephone bill is? $3. Try again. $4. You hit the bell. I think Mr. Bell hit me. Just the same is a wonderful intervention. If there's no telephone, then there's no telephone or books. What the little kids sit on when they want a haircut? What are you gonna do with these bills? When we have the money, we pay. Aren't you worried? It's a no use everybody worrying of Jimmy. Right to now I let the companies worry. But what are you gonna do boss? I got a surprise for you Jimmy. See, here's the $15. Where'd you get that? You remember all colonial letter case? Sure, cost you $20. I sell it for $15. But boss... I get stuck when I pay $20 for it Jimmy. So I sell it back to same a fellow for $15. But you lost $5 in the deal. Oh no Jimmy. I make a $5 because there's only worth $10 in the first place. What's the next letter Jimmy? It's from the president of the Windy City Investment Company. From president himself? Yep. John C. Shaw. Let me see that. Dear friend. Jimmy, do I know Mr. Shaw? Oh it doesn't mean a thing boss. Your name is on what they call sucker lists. That's a pretty good Jimmy. Only one of you here and already I'm on a sucker list. I wouldn't exactly call it an honor boss. Must be Jimmy. Here's the fella I don't know. He's giving me a chance to invest in a gold mine. Maybe we invest a little money huh Jimmy? What money? Next the letter Jimmy. It's from the Jackson Hospital Plan. Gimme, I read it myself. Look, say here. Dear Mr. Bosco, this is a personal letter. Believe me boss, there's nothing personal about it. Never mind Jimmy, listen to a letter. Consider this invitation from us to join. How you like that Jimmy? Invitation. It's just an ad boss. They don't mean that. What this means? Hospital Plan. They pay your hospital expenses. Of course they have to be sick huh? Natch. Huh? Natch. Natch? What the natch means? Well, it's short for naturally. Please Jimmy, I like to learn a long English, not a short hand. How you know about this plan? I've seen the ads in the papers and I've heard them on the radio. They got the longest commercial. Then why you not tell me? Oh boss, you can't take on any more expenses. Well let's say here only cost two cents a day. You can't even afford that. Maybe they give it cheaper if we get sick only on weekends. I see about this right away. Why the hurry? Mr. Jackson say here in his letter, hurry, hurry. I hurry. Mr. Luigi. You watch the story Jimmy, I go see Mr. Jackson. Erica, I love you. You like a papa. Luigi my friend. Hello Luigi, hello hello. Hello Pascuali, I'm in a bigger hurry. All the way see you in a bigger hurry. Not always Pascuali, only when I see you. Where you going this time? To hospital. Who's sick? Me. What's the matter with you? I find out later. You talk but you don't make sense Luigi. Speak a play. I explain to you Pascuali. See this? Show is a letter. No, it's invitation. Invitation to what? Invitation to hospital. That's a nice invitation. I'm here 26 years. I never hear of an invitation to a hospital. Wait, I explain. Is invitation for hospital insurance plan for two cents? Luigi, why you always a sticky or two cents in everything? All the time you run around, run around like a little mouse. Is it called Jackson a plan? Luigi, why you gotta be different from other people? Why you must join a Jackson a plan? Join a Marshall a plan? If you sick, Jackson take care of a whole thing for two cents a day. Ah, it's a stupid. When a fella gets a sick of two cents a day, he's not gonna help him a much. Pascuali, you pay Jackson a plan two cents. Jackson, he pay hospital. What's to happen if it's raining some day and you're not gonna run to the mailbox and send the Jackson his a two cents? Then there's no insurance to that day. Luigi, you always a buy policy. One a month already you got a fire insurance. Is there no fire? It takes time. I explain to Pascuali. Look what it say here in a letter. If I get a sick, Jackson a plan is pay for doctors and nurses and all kinds of sickness. They pay for everything except the maternity. Why? Is it contagious? Pascuali, you know understand. I'm understand the plenty but what's to happen if I'm catching this a maternity? Is not the possible. Maternity is meaning having a little bambino. Oh, that's a fine. I tell you what you do. Forget it, it's a crazy two cents hospital. Marry my Rosa, she's a have a bambino. I pay you two cents a day for the rest of your life. Please Pascuali, we're not to talk about the Rosa. We talk about a Rosa? I'm breaking your arm. Pascuali, how is the Rosa? I'm glad you asked you my son. Luigi, you couldn't find a nicer girl. Or a bigger. Is there nothing in my Rosa can do? She's got lots of talent. What kind of talent? Oh, she's a wonder. She's a first class cook. She's a handy with a needle. She's a washer better than the laundry and she's a keeper house and need like a pin. You know Pascuali? Yes, my son. I bet you Rosa could have find a good job someplace. Luigi, I don't like you sense of humor, especially when my Rosa, she's a crazy for you. Is it too bad Pascuali? Right now she's a feel of very bad and she's got a broken heart. Maybe she joined a two cents hospital. Is there no hospital like you're for her? Only you Luigi, you the doctor. If I'm a doctor, I go find a new patient. Luigi, you're getting me so mad. I think I'm going to break you into little pieces. Then I better go join a Jackson a plan a quick. Excuse me, lady. Is this Jackson a hospital plan? Yes. I like to speak to Andrew. What's the nature of your business? Antique business. 21 North Holster Street. Open night and day and we always... I mean, what can I do for you? I get the letter this morning. I like to join two cents a day hospital plan. Oh, you want to see Mr. McRady? First order your ride. Thank you, lady. Hello. Girl outside, she tells me you're Mr. McRady. Yes. She says you can tell me all about Jackson a hospital plan. I'd be glad to. You see... You see, Mr. McRady, I'm not alone in this country, and it's harder for me to understand everything it says here in a little book about a hospital plan. So maybe you explain some of the things that it says here. I'd be glad to. It says here, no physical examination is necessary. I guess if there's no examination necessary, it means I don't have to see a doctor. Well... I'm glad you explained to me. Another thing, it says here, you have a choice of 90 member hospitals. That means I go to any hospital I like. Well, there are 90 hospitals. It's wonderful how simple is everything the way you explain it. It is say here. Also say here, if I marry, plan also cover my wife. If I ever marry Rosie, there's no plan big enough to cover her. But I have a little boy, Jimmy. Is it good for him, huh? Yes. Thank you so much, Mr. McRady. You speak a beautiful English. Here's my two cents. I enroll in a plan. I'm sorry, Mr. Well, if you hit to my fault, I don't look where I'm going. Are you hurt? No, but maybe I hurt to your car. Are you sure you're all right? I feel fine. We can't be too sure, Mr. Basko. Mr. McRady, what are you doing here? Right on the job, Mr. Basko. The Jackson Hospital plan will take care of everything. Yes, sir, there's a room, nurse, a choice of any one of 1,000 doctors already in waiting for you. Mamma Mia, all for two cents. While you're wondering what Luigi is going to do next, I have a $16,000 announcement for you about CBS's popular quiz program Hit the Jackpot. Later tonight, $16,000 worth of breathtaking prizes will be given to the lucky contestant at home or in the studio who can give the correct solution to the secret sentence. MC Bill Cullen will give you more clues to help you solve the secret sentence. For fun and prizes, be sure to tune in Hit the Jackpot tonight over most of these same CBS network stations. And now, for the second act of Luigi Basko's adventures in Chicago, we turn to page two of his letter to his mother in Italy. So, Mamma Mia, I never think when I go to join a hospital plan that five minutes later I'm in a hospital. This gives you idea of a kind of a quick serve as a fellow gets in America. So now I'm in a hospital only because I'm reading a hospital advertisement book when I cross the street and I don't see the card. But don't worry, Mamma Mia. There's absolutely nothing wrong with me. Only trouble is that nobody believes me. There's a very nice nurse here. She takes my pulse. There's first American girl who holds my hand. It's a very pleasant, Mamma Mia. But now Jimmy visits me and he say... Boss! Hello, Jimmy. I rushed down here as soon as I heard about it. Who tell you? It's all over the neighborhood. I feel fine, Jimmy. What happened, boss? I'm walking across the State Street when suddenly I hit automobile. Did you get the license? No, just a piece of a right-to-front fender. Where were you hurt, boss? In a safety zone. What were you doing on State Street? If I tell you, you'll be angry with me, Jimmy. I'm not going to be angry, boss. I go see Jackson Hospital plan. Then I have an accident after I join. Please, Jimmy, do something for me. Write a note to my teacher, Miss Spaulding. I know I can come to school tonight. Same as I write for you. Well, I can tell him, Mr. Luigi. You don't have to write a note. No, Jimmy. It's the better you write. Please excuse my parents. Luigi Basco from school tonight. Yours truly, Jimmy O'Connor. Well, if that's the way you want it. Someone's here to see you, boss. Oh, he's the man from a two-cent hospital plan. Well, goodbye, boss. I'll see you later. Okay, goodbye, Jimmy. Mr. Basco, I take my hat off to you. Thank you. You're very polite. Yes, sir. You sure are a fast worker. We're going to make a big thing out of this. Imagine a man signs up for the Jackson Hospital plan and five minutes later he's in the hospital. Why, it'll make us the talk of the country. You're not angry with me? Angry? Certainly not. On the contrary, we'll see to it that you get every operation that's coming to you. You get tonsils, adenoids, appendix, and that's only the start. Sounds like the finish. Please, I'm feeling fine. I want to go home. Mr. Basco, you gave us your two cents. You enrolled. We have your signature. You agreed to accept our benefits and you'll get your benefit. Please, I just want to go home. Stay right there. Don't move till you hear from us. You're in a soft, comfortable hospital bed. You'll get the best of doctors and nurses for two cents a day. You're entitled to all this for 21 days. Live, man! Live! Nurse! Doctor! Mama Mia! Luigi, you sleeping in my son? Oh, Pasquale, I'm even glad to see you. How do you feel, my little man? I feel fine, Pasquale, but I... Don't talk to Luigi. Here, drink a little soup. A rose that she cookin' a special for you. That's nice. Is a love, and every spoon a full, Luigi. She's a putter her heart in it. Taster like it. Luigi, I'm already take care of everything for you. Then when can I go home? Take it easy. The lawyer says you're critical of sick a man. Lawyer? I don't even see lawyer how he knows. He knows. But, Pasquale, I don't need lawyer. Never see a fellow like you. Even when you're sick, you argue. If a lawyer says you're sick, you're sick. But I'm not sick. I'm a fine. I don't care what you say. I already give a lawyer $50,000. $50,000 I give him. He say we're gonna collect... I never have a $50,000. But the lawyer, I give a $50,000 too. He say we're gonna collect a $10,000. We? Sure we. Is it your accident so I make you a partner? Next time, if I have accident, I make you a partner too. It's a fair exchange. Thank you, Pasquale, but there's nothing wrong with me. Lawyer is out the side. He's a teller. What's the wrong with you? Here is Mr. Sykes, your lawyer. How are you, Mr. Pasquale? I'm fine. Delirious, eh, Pasquale? Sounds alike. Now, don't try to talk, Mr. Pasquale. You're a very sick man. Just leave everything to me. I don't. I leave it to my mama. I will sue that car owner for every penny he has in the world. We'll strip and clean. We'll take the clothes off his back. You having a thing to worry about with John Sykes as your attorney? I'm worried about other fellow. I've had lots of cases like this, but chasing ambulance is all my life. You must be pretty tired. Mr. Pasquale, I saw the whole thing. You did? Why, certainly I did. There was this car coming in a very northerly direction at approximately 75 miles an hour. You were standing in the safety zone. But I wasn't after that. Don't interrupt, please. Suddenly, this automobile swerved. Knocked you down, ran over you, backed up, and ran over you again. No, no, no. No, Mr. Sykes. It was all my fault. I crossed the one a lighter was red. What's that got to do with it, aren't you entitled to your choice of colors? Sure. Sure, Luigi. Everybody's got a right to choose a color. Don't worry. We're going to collect the plenty. Pasquale, you got a hit by a car, too? I'm just to look out for your interest. But I feel fine. I don't even hurt a little bit. You see, Pasquale, brain concussion. Looks alike. Ah, Mr. Basco, where were you on the night of July 21st, 1928? July 21st, 1928. I don't remember. Ah-ha. Amnesia. Magnesia. Ah, it's even worse than I feared. Now tell me, Mr. Basco, do you hear ticking noises? Pasquale, take your watch away from my ear. All I can say is, Mr. Basco, that you're a mighty sick man. Yes, sir, mighty sick. Please, Mr. Sykes, are you giving me a headache? Fine. Don't fight it, Mr. Basco. And my back. My back is hurting from laying in bed. Ah-ha. Wonderful. Wonderful. Now you're talking. But I feel fine. Stop saying that! Just keep on quiet, Pasquale. I'll be back in a moment. Pasquale, I don't trust you, Mr. Sykes. I'm as surprised at you, Luigi. Mr. Sykes is as honest as I am. That's what worries me. No, Pasquale. I don't swear to fellow. Isn't that honest? I don't want his money. I want to go home. Look, Luigi, you don't worry about this. All you think about is your health. I worry about your money. Hey, lay down, Luigi, as a doctor. Well, how are you feeling, Mr. Basco? I'm feeling good. Not so good, a doctor. Excuse me, I'd like to look at the charts. Sure, doc. Here. What does it say? Mmm. It sounds bad. Is a bad doctor? Temperature? Mmm. Blood pressure? Mmm. Is it got a temperature and a blood pressure? Yeah, these X-rays. Mmm. X-rays. But I'm feeling fine. Stop arguing with a doctor! You'll excuse me, Mr. Basco. I'll be back. Pasquale. I hear you, Luigi. What? What did doctor mean when he said, Mmm. Don't sound good to me, Luigi. Hey, Luigi, hold my hand. Pasquale, you see X-ray pictures? It's all black. Is there nothing left inside? What does it say on the chart? I'm not supposed to tell you, Luigi. Please, please, Pasquale, it's better if I know everything. All right, all right, I tell you. Temperature 98 to period of six. That's not too good. Please, Pasquale, if anything happened, you take care of Jim. Sure, sure, I even adopted him. And when he grow up, don't make him marry Rosa. Luigi, Rosa's always going to be true to one man. You, Luigi. It's all right with me if she lie a little. Listen, Pasquale, there's one more thing. In four years from now, I get to my citizenship papers. Can you hear me, Pasquale? I hear you, Luigi. I give you permission to vote for me. Anything else? I wait until the doctor comes back before I make more promises. All right, Luigi, now I tell you what I'm going to do for you. When I collect the money from accident, I'm going to take your share, and I'm going to build a new antique store with your statue in the front, with the biggest sign in your honor, Luigi Bosco Spaghetti Palace. Why spaghetti in antique store? Got to pay expenses, Luigi. Pasquale is suddenly getting very dark. Hold up both of my hands, Luigi, my friend. Maybe now you do something for me, eh? Anything. Maybe you see, Rosa, just the one thing more. Is it dark enough already? Then is it making no difference, Luigi. Are you going to die anyway? Marry Rosa. Does this make her happy, Pasquale? Sure, sure. It's to make her the happiest widow in the Chicago. All right. Rosa, what is she? Oh, she's just a happener to be waiting outside. Rosa! Say hello to poor Luigi. Hello, poor Luigi. Hello, Rosa. Luigi's a dyin', and before he goes, he wants to marry you, Rosa. What are you thinking of? Shut up, you face. Luigi, I go bring you the judge. Is the judge also happener to be waiting outside? What's going on here? Doctor, you're just in the time. Everything is dark. No wonder, someone turned off the lights. Who would do a thing like this? I see everything now. Doctor, I'm not a dyin', huh? Not for a long time to come, Mr. Bosco. There isn't a thing in the world that matters with you. Get your clothes and go home. You hear that, Pasquale? Doctor, you sure? Of course. It's impossible, doctor. I just give a lawyer $50. Luigi's got to die. I feel fine. I'm going to leave the hospital. I got my two cents to work. Pasquale, I'm going back to the store. Wait, Luigi. You promised to marry Rosa today. Oh, no. I already have my accident for today. So, Mamma Mia, now if I get sick, is there nothing to worry about? Because I get sick in America. You're a loving son, Luigi. Be sure to listen next week at the same time over most of these stations when Luigi Bosco writes another letter to Mamma Bosco describing his adventures in America. Life with Luigi is a Psy Howard production and is written by Highcraft and Psy Howard and stars J. Carol Maj as Luigi Bosco with Alan Reed as Pasquale. Music is under the direction of Wilbur Hatch. Ladies and gentlemen, have you heard about CARES' new holiday package? It's ration-free, it's economical, and it's guaranteed to arrive safely all for the special rate of $15. It's extra-special. Why? Because it gives your friends and relatives in Europe's ruins a chance to have a delicious turkey dinner with all the fixings. A whole turkey, butter, sugar, jam, rice, bacon, plum pudding, chocolate, and all the seasonings needed are a turkey roast. There are millions of children in Europe this Christmas who will know it is just an ordinary bleak winter day. Even for the holidays, there's little hope for something special. That's why CARE has prepared a special holiday package containing a full turkey dinner and all the trimmings. Send your check today to CARE, New York City, New York. Indicate plainly the address to which you wish the parcel mailed. Remember, this special holiday package costs $15 with guaranteed delivery. The address again, CARE, C-A-R-E, New York City, New York. Later tonight on CBS, comedian Mori Amsterdam has a hilarious battle with gangster Knuckles Callahan who has determined a strong arm, the hapless Mori, into giving him control of his cafe. For a solid half-hour of laughs, listen to the Mori Amsterdam show later tonight over most of these same CBS network stations. This is CBS, the Columbia Broadcasting System.