 I've plotted a challenging two-day hike and wild camp in the Lake District. Join myself and Ferny as we take on the great British weather, deal with the absence of some important kit and take in some of the most beautiful views the lakes has to offer. Hello, welcome to another video. I'm here with me Ferny. I'm also dressed like a character of Grand Theft Auto and the hiking guy. Sort of mixed with Dover the Explorer. What? We've just left Grassmere after a lovely breakfast and a little trip to the gingerbread shop. Oh that was good. Yeah, your old gingerbread shop to get some snacks and I've plotted in a circular route in the OS map which I will leave below so you can follow it yourselves. But apart from that we don't know what we're doing, we don't know where we're camping, we don't know which water we'll be dunking in. Oh we need to swim now. We need to swim. We've been living in the van. We already smell and we've just started. That's true. So we're going to do about 10 miles today, wild camp up tops or somewhere, and then another 10 miles tomorrow. Stay tuned, cue intro music. Oh yeah and also it's my birthday. Little lie down. Yeah you could have a dunk for sure but I feel like there's better to come. So we've just started. We've left the road now. We've got the three person tent. Fern's carrying the poles. I'm carrying the actual bag. I mean the actual tent itself. The lot of this links up different paths that I've traveled before so it's good to sort of sew everything together in your mind tapestry, your map in your mind. I'm looking forward to it, two days of hiking and exploring and I can already see a wonderful fast flowing waterfall because we've had some serious downpours of late. Grand Theft Auto Hiker 1 tuning in just to say we've passed the beautiful Isdale Tarn Whey and we're about to head up to the top of here. It looks pretty steep. So let's get some before shots. This is me before. Quite hot, feeling okay. Yeah this is before. Let's get to the top. There we are. A little bit more gassed out than last time gassed on. Beautiful. Not even gassed out. A little bit. The thumbs. I don't think we're at the top yet. You're not really. Would you stop to put a little rock on that can? Do you want to contribute to this can? Yes I do. I'll find a nicer rock. What shape are you going for? The shape of the one that's nearest to you. The perfect one. Any final words? Is that some sort of ritual you do? You have to just thank the rock. Well yeah no Dwayne Johnson. Thank you Dwayne Johnson for everything that you've done for us. I love Moana. Here you go. It's a drone shot time. Why is it so long? It's a drone. Wow. It's a drone time. Are you going to make the noise? It's a drone. Let's see how the new selfie stick Tony. Is it good? Look I get a quid every time you go. Billionaire. The temperature has dropped considerably. We were like well let's quit till we get up top then go for a swim. Not feeling it now are we Tony? No it will be a chore. I've got something to say to you. For some reason she's calling me Tony, Tony, Tony. This is what you do quite a lot of the time. You come right over to the real place which is really nice. I'm loving this up till now and then you do this. What's that? It's a goose. Oh yeah the bag. The bag. The bag turn. What? Look about it. That's noted for when we get on top of a ridge. Yeah we're on top of a ridge. All right sorry Tony. Take three. It's blustering it's coming this way so we're going to go get down off this ridge a little bit, find a little bit of shelter and see what we've got for snacks. Quid's in. There's another quid. Moody. It's starting to rain. Ha ha. Stop calling each other Tony now Tony. No let's stop calling each other Tony it's weird. Yeah I've found a place just look. Trust me you big fish. Look here. Guys guess what Fern's forgot. Oh no a raincoat. But a frog tog rain jacket and we're expected to have tomorrow from like early in the morning to rental rain all day and all Fern's got is my rab down jacket which as we all know shouldn't really be getting wet. This is a new one. That's still a quid to me though because that's the same as that anyway. Is that minus a quid? Minus a quid. And my Fitbit's just done its first noise. Really? Guys I've got a Fitbit everyone. That's so exciting. It's doing something. It's telling me that you're an idiot for forgetting your raincoat. It's right. That is correct. Not really that's a ju- that was a jpe. You've been punked. I'd like to say in my d- oh don't take me. Right well. We're in my defence. I mean I don't have a defence to wear because I don't have a raincoat. I did pack it and it was in my bag at some point today but then I unpacked it and that is where the mistake was made. Yeah and it's going to be a costly mistake. It's going to be a mistake. But who in the end of the day it's going to be a costly mistake for me because tomorrow I'm going to lose my waterproof jacket for Fern and a new fleece. I've got a new fleece. So it'll be new fleece new me. Yeah so I'm going to lose my this waterproof and I won't be able to wear this because it's down so t-shirt weather for me tomorrow. No I lost I haven't packed it so I'll just I'll be cold on that. Like I said off camera it's not. I would rather me be the one who's cold and miserable and deal with that than deal with you. If you're cold and miserable. No. Yeah? Yeah that I do understand. And because love. Because love. Yes love I don't want to look after you don't I? I need to keep dry. Thank you. How's the vegan pepperoni? I'm not vegan. I know everyone thinks I am vegan but this is a delicious. We're not vegans we're just getting some pepperoni based snacks. What else have we got? I'll tell you. We've got some real good snacks. We went to the shop. Grenade bars classic, high protein low sugar. How? Hot pepperamis. Hot pepperamis. Mango and cashew nuts. Got an image of a cashew nut there. Picture of a cashew nut in case you didn't know. And with a pièce de résistance some of nanny baggins his gingerbread. Pièce de résistance. Pièce de restaurant. Is that a kind of restaurant? Yeah it's an Italian restaurant in Doncaster. That would be a good name. Pièce de restaurante. Pièce de restaurante. Should we yoke that? No I think that's for later but anyway sorry for the lack of banter I think it's because we're a bit cold. I think it's because we're dreading to come. Oh yeah well what happened is it got really windy up top and it rained a little bit and that made us think oh it could rain and then oh nice one we've got waterproof jackets and then oh ferns forgot a waterproof jacket then oh I'm going to lose my waterproof jacket when it rains. The only other thing I can think of doing is making like arm and leg holes for the bag cover and using that as a kind of waterproof body suit. Even then what your bag's going to get drenched. Yeah I'll pose some cons. There's no pros. Anyway right let's have a little snackadoodle do and then figure out where we're going and also just a footnote to me in the editing suite just cut out that bit where I said snackadoodle these lads what was it like then Reading Festival you have a good time so we're heading down now to Stickle Tarn. She's off look she's off she's off sorry guys I know she's always on a phone. I've got the map this time who's in charge yay quid but we're getting a nice look at your new renegades flowers so we're leaving Stickle Tarn we're heading down it's quite a steep one into Langdale but it's sort of we're going down to Traverse Round to go back up it's just the way I planned it you know you could just stay up in in fells and go along and whatever but we don't mind putting a bit of a shift in and there's a pub down here that we want to stop for a bit of lunch I'm having a packet meal for me dinner I'll have one tonight so basically neither of us have got our cut kits the origins of why we call each other Tarn and it's starting to become annoying but we got one of these case file things off the internet where you solve a case and we did it together and we became detectives called Tarn and Tarn didn't we Tarn? yeah I could so we've got to get this finished Tarn it's too much it's TMI for you guys that but you'll put up with such baffling nonsense for views like this look at that because this head is controlling me it's just you say it's over my friend how long until the end because I'm by the point where I can amend I don't love myself but I can pretend the lads the robin guys look the main event oh bullfinch him on the stump they're just yell at those blue tits them no they're juvenile blue tits and he's just a sparrow he's a house sparrow next to him I love birds me oh there's a robin on the floor we're refreshed after our little dip and we're now in the Langdale valley and the sun is out and it's glorious and we're heading to the pub where we're going to decide if we want to stop for some food there may be a pint or do we bat on if we stop at the pub we might have to camp down in the valley which wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing but it would be quite nice to get up in the hills wouldn't it is the is the only con if we camp in the valley we don't get the views yeah and we'll have to walk further tomorrow in the rain with no raincoat with only you in a raincoat we've gone past the pub and we've just filled our water bottles up and got a packet of scampi fries and that's it because time isn't on our side as far as the light goes we don't want to sleep down in the valley because I've slept down here before so we're going to push on and get back up the tops and see where we end up and everything like it's the right it's the right dischoisons it's the right decision won't it you take it away as Fern says delayed gratification we'll have our and camping meals out bad are there so basically neither of us have got our no we've got nice ones oh wait what did you get did you stick with your salmon and broccoli yeah I think so yeah is that good I like it I've got an apple crunch yeah but we're going to have to maybe save that for tomorrow I don't know if we can have a two-course meal tonight if we then only got snacks tomorrow delayed gratification though isn't it is that delayed gratification or is that just eating all your lunch yep okay we're going to be starving and wet I'm going to be soaking we're going to be starving no we need to save some good things for tomorrow because I know tomorrow will be awful okay fair dude so we're heading up to this wall of rock steak pass up there this house up there there's a lot of people on that path for some reason and there's no one on this one so we've decided to all to our original route and we're going to go up and over here that one is a lot harder to get over this one's no cakewalk like but it's a little bit uh at lesser distance than going all the way around there so we're going to chug it and get up here and this will probably be our final big climb of the day we did it that was a tough gig wasn't it it was really hard but we did it last year and we like stopped like five times I didn't I stopped maybe once you were maybe just stopping because I was stopping but no stopping this turn didn't stop once and then was over them stepping stones like a mountain goat last year I was holding on to them for dear life yeah waiting for someone to lift me over the people were calling her the limb pit one point but we did well there thank you right we're up back up into fells it's one of them where we've got options now at 20 past five it is we've probably got two hours before it starts to get dark and we pitch up so do we stay up in the mountains and traverse around or do we go back down and come back up I don't know why I'm saying this stuff on camera that's kind of daft but that's where we're at we're at a decision thing so I'm sharing it with you but we're going to hike through here wait to see if we do have an option of a multiple choice and I think we'll get the bags off look at the map and have a bit of water right we're going to go off-piste then we're going to go this way instead we we plan to go down this valley but we're going to go up and over here pictures dropped a lot so we've both got our jackets on and extra layers and the wind's picking up and we're still heading up you can see over there that big mountain there is eagle crag and we were going to go down into the valley and maybe sleep down there but we've decided because the rains are going to be coming tomorrow and it's going to be horrible weather to not go down to go back up again but try and stay up tops so our mission now is just to get a bit of time done and then find somewhere as sheltered as we can and get the tent set up that love is great gable and the last time I was on there I couldn't see a thing I can see more of it now from right way over here I could when I was on it beautiful I think Fern's hit her first speed bump we'll call it shall we yeah sleep bump sleep bump and if you could crawl into my backpack and that would be that would that be what you want if I could like shrink myself down and put myself in here and then I'd just like sort of peek out over the edge to make sure everyone's okay and then go back to sleep come on then let's dig deep well they don't know me son who's going to carry the boats and the logs you do it goggings well we have a snooze and maybe a camping meal this looks pretty cool though in amongst all these rocks is often where you can find a little sheltery spot but at the same time it's hard to get your pegs into ground and is it times like these when I'm glad that I packed four delta pegs so it gives me peace of mind right well you'll see when I get them out you'll love a delta peg the bloody brilliant Baron Greenback look at that look at that stunner you're a stunner darling and don't let anyone tell you otherwise we've got a bit lost and it's very boggy around here and so already wet feet so I don't think we're in the trail runners and really just being cautious with where I'm standing after me my last experience with a bog and I think what it'll be is it will get to the stage where it's getting so dark that we just have to find somewhere fingers crossed that somewhere is half decent deal or no deal we're like no deal no deal no deal no deal and thankfully as the sun starts look at that sky it's beautiful I don't know if it's picking up on here but it's gorgeous the clouds are moving fast so you can you can see how windy it is up there but we've found this bit here and it's quite sheltered from the wind and it's relatively flat not the flattest pitch ever but any part in a storm and it looks like the storms are brewing so we're going to pitch up here and have a lovely camping meal that way I'm out in us yeah there's a thing that's happened and as we were walking up there we're like oh I've never been so hungry a cat well because we because we didn't go to the pub and thought well we're going to have our camping meals uh and then we're walking up there and saying oh I've never been so hungry a cat wait to have my camping meals and what did I say something about the pot so something about potting was like I ain't got my pot and I was like I ain't got mine and I was like we ain't got so basically neither of us have got our cook kits because there was a mix-up when we were set off where I said I'll bring my stove which I've got and Fern thought she meant I meant the whole cook kit so she left her whole cook kit so it was a miscommunication wasn't it yeah I'm letting her off very lightly with this no it was because I let's not let's not let's not it was a miscommunication with with that and the rain jacket and so we don't have any food we don't have any food and we're hungry and our Fitbit's telling us we're in a calorie deficit we're in such a calorie deficit so I think the best thing to do is just no calories left pitch the tent in silence and go to sleep do you think maybe what happened is because I went hiking with Rosie last week and did you think because I did that you were like oh she's got it now yeah she's a hiker she's not she knows it no but we're learning the hard way so let's get the tent up we're all some good luck and I think this pitch might be our good luck this it looks like a beautiful um sunset's going to occur so we'll get that um and we've got some trails now it's got like a slack hand full of nuts and some bits but so that'll do us for today and all tomorrow so we're going to be hungry but the glasses are full and when we do get to a pub or wherever we get to at the end that's going to be the best meal ever and we're going he's going to be ace getting dry and having a shower and that in it happy birthday we've still got a miniature of whiskey or have you left that no I've got that happy days we've got a miniature of whiskey that should abate our hunger for all night right let's get this tent up anyway come on there's the big Agnes copper spur something something a rather three so far I love it ferns just in there sorting out the airbed I've just been hunkering down and in all on all four corners I've got delta pegs because these belt and braces I don't mind they're awkward to carry they're an awkward shape but I don't mind at all because it's peace of mind when you're in this boggy ground these little pegs aren't up too much but yeah doesn't it cut a fine figure up in these fells it looks I think it looks amazing this tent considering how windy it was before we got into this little bit I think we've fallen on our feet it's due to piss it down at 11 o'clock all night then we get a little bit of respite and then we're back on the piss at about 11 again in the morning so we'll hopefully find a window and set off in the dry right we're in we've decided to the seater summit there we've opened it we filled it with water it's one of the puddings it's a apple crumble crunch so we've put it in and we're going to cold soak it overnight so hopefully you can get some calories in us before we set off but we've got a little bottle of taliske single malt scotch whiskey just for a little a little nip and then this which we went and got which is Sarah Nelson's grass mere gingerbread it's like um it's not like bread it's like it's it's like it's crunchy but chewy it's delicious and anyone who knows will know that that is a good little thing to have so instead of our meals we've got a bit of that and a bit of that and i'm happy with it so unless some madge or trash happens well you'll see the on the morrow the end of the world at the palm of my hand when it all goes to hell will you still be my friend we've packed up we've left no trace as usual there's Fern they've still got a down trousers on which is a bit of a she might get found out with that and we've got to go find the path whoo we're off it pissed it down all night windy raining oh we had it we had it but we survived it we had our ear plugs in to block out the wind and we survived didn't we yeah we did were you warm was i warm yeah yeah i was really warm but i had down trousers down coat everything zipped right up and then even my sleeping bag i'd like pulled so the face hole was really really tight right so fully enclosed about driving where it rains it was even driving through the air vent on the side of the tent and oh what is this i think it's just like keep going don't stop in case we sink right we're just going to keep going and get wet leave it all out here in it help i'm always so nervous now oh full bog your new shoes it'll keep you dry though Fern's got some new lower renegades women's versions shedding water beautifully we were waiting for a break in the weather this is believe it or not the break in the weather but it's forecast just to get a lot worse a lot more rain a lot more mist a lot more wind i think it's only sort of seven miles or so we've got to go through this we need to keep our wits about us though how's the wits yeah she's good wits are good how are your wits wits are good i had a little moment back there where i was like oh this is tough gig when you asked me to get more stuff out of my bag and i just spent ages fastening up my thing that sinks well oh no sometimes you don't see it's so tempting just to make a dash for it do it do it the dash last time you dashed it went horribly wrong oh the mains are coming boggy oh it's boggy it's ever so boggy and the stones because of the work these stones have become really slippy bog myrtle so is there anything you can find up here water i think we're going the wrong way delicious wrong ways delicious we should really be getting back before the weather turns terrible and it is cold and we are cold but what are we doing going for a swim going for a swim just to re-energize and it's like having a shower in the morning as well especially if you're like hungry and you're a bit tired and stuff just going in some cold water for a bit can really give you a new lease of life or it can zap any remaining energy that you may be holding on to that'll do it that'll do it delightful i'll film interesting case i disappear yeah yeah this was all right so far so good this way yeah i can hear fast flowing water there waterfall no doubt oh stunning views i feel great after my swim how do you feel yeah i mean it's a loose to call it swim but i swam you are yeah you officially swam but yeah we were just saying he's feeling vigorated it gives you a whole new lease of life even if you're tired and hungry and that was we knew this was going to come and it was one of the reasons why we did it but we didn't plan on not you know bringing our stove and not eating properly but in a way it's good because we wanted to be cold wet hungry i've been all of these and you've been and still are all of those things abstaining from stuff or putting yourself through our chips even the simple things just a shower or carpet underfoot or clean clothes is joyous the thought of it is joyous but then to mix it up with like a pub meal food food food it's the perfect birthday i wouldn't have wanted to do anything with anyone more than i'm doing more than this it's been van life seeing family and friends and then hiking and wild camping in the lakes with urn bogfoot out of nowhere too busy waffling on right i'm off it's a it's a bit unforgiving down there and the rocks are slipping all right so the rest are you all right are you giving in keep going come on look at that mate that is a stunner beautiful the waterfalls are really on form because it's been raining all night they're just coming down with some force in case big stacker what's your tactics where you're going swimming across she's going to swim just in case you stack it be funny and for a little bit no it won't we've got this she made it as the rain starts to fall heavier we make our final steps towards the curved bridge which yesterday was our first which way do we go and yesterday we went that way up there and we have done a full loop back slightly smaller i'm intended but still amazing still amazing if you want to look at the route we did i'll leave it below and any final thoughts it's been amazing that's my fault it's been great and i was really worried at times that when i'd forgotten everything i'd ruined your birthday and life you've made my birthday in life better because this pub meal and this shower and everything just water it's going to be the best tears cheers it's just everything's going to be lovely from now on so we've got maybe a half a mile walk back into grassmere i won't bore you with the details we'll leave it here you're not going to show him the roast dinner that's what it's all been leading up to i might cut to a roast in it if we have a roast dinner apart from that thank you very much for joining me thank you thank you very much thanks for watching and i'll leave you in the capable hands of future me and everybody's favorite time map time and there we go i don't have the rest of the map for this one because all my maps are in storage so we're just dealing with this that i've got in a charity shop and i've used it before so there are other markings on it but we started down here somewhere in grassmere had a lovely breakfast and then we set off out of grassmere up here there are some absolutely stunning waterfalls along here past the side of eased ale tarn this look at the contours on that man that was steep steep as along here up and up and up and up and up some lovely views the temperature dropped up here but some lovely views over stickle tarn this is where we had our first stop had a bite to eat and started making our way down around the side of stickle tarn down here pretty steep down here into langdale valley some lovely views coming down here and here is where we had our first swim and we go so ignore this bit this was just me another time so along here we ignored the pub thinking outside we'll have our camping meals little did we know through this valley langdale ignore that that's just where i've camped before we went up here very steep climb and it was getting late in the day so we were a bit fatigued and it's just a gradual one we got to here and the original plan the original plan if i zoom out was to go up and around here and back down this one but we decided just to cut up straight over here and then again on the original plan we were going to go this way and round but because of the time and the weather and everything and the fact that we didn't have rain jackets we decided off and have a rain jacket and look at the os map and decided to come up here it's still a gradual uphill all the way to langdale pikes this is where we got a little bit lost through this bog and then more uphill up to thunder car knot through there that was lovely up there some stunning views some lovely little bodies of water and then we dropped down here because the wind was blowing this way so we dropped down here and that's where we camped we got a little bit of respite from the wind but in the night it was windy and rainy we set off in the morning in the mist for another little bit of uphill i kept saying to fern look this is the last bit then it'll be downhill i promise and they kept being more and more but once we got up here it was it was downhill we started to come down here down here we had a little swim around here somewhere and carried on through the mist crossroads map check and then this was downhill but it was wet and there was lots of stones so it was a bit slippy underfoot so it maybe took us a lot longer than we thought but it this valley is just beautiful we followed this all the way down to easedale and back to the little bridge over easedale beck and that's where we said was the end high fives all around and then we carried on back to grassmere we managed to find somewhere that did us a sunday dinner and it was the best sunday dinner ever we were more than ready for it and that was the whole point we wanted to be hungry we wanted to be cold we wanted to be wet and we wanted to appreciate the things like a sunday dinner like just being warm and not wet and hungry and that was that's what happened it was perfect right thanks very much for watching i really do appreciate it take care of yourselves and we'll see you soon