 Have you heard of gaslighting? It's a popular term that describes manipulative behavior. Gaslighting is detrimental to someone's mental and emotional health. Educating yourself on the signs of gaslighting can help you maintain a protective boundary against those who may try to take advantage of you in this way. Identifying their ill intent can help you minimize a gaslighter's attempts to control you through stirring this trust in yourself. Here are five signature signs that what you think is a simple disagreement may actually be gaslighting. Number one, they invalidate your feelings. It's normal for disagreements to cause emotional distress in all parties involved. However, if you find that someone makes comments such as you're being sensitive or you're so weak when you express your needs, take it as a possible sign that gaslighting may be involved. Gaslighters don't take your emotions and opinions into account because their goal is to mold reality to fit their needs best. By convincing you that you're the problem instead of them, they get rid of the need to take accountability for their own misbehaviors or flaws. When facing a gaslighter who invalidates your feelings, remember first and foremost that your feelings are valid. Recognize that your capacity to identify and speak out about your emotional needs is a sign of emotional intelligence. Stick to your truth. Number two, they make you question yourself and your sanity. Disagreements have the potential for good. They can help us shift our perspective and broaden what might have been a narrow and limiting thought process for you. A gaslighter, however, will not only leave you worse off but will create feelings of self-doubt within you that lingers long after the conversation is over. Notice how you feel after the conversation. Do you feel you have more clarity or do you feel less sure of yourself and the situation as a whole? Gaslighters can manipulate your perception of yourself by intentionally making hurtful remarks about your intelligence, memory capabilities, or competence, which then allows them to brainwash you into thinking their perception is more accurate. Put a stop to it by either disengaging entirely or by refusing to react to their words and maintaining a strong sense of self. Number three, they intend to make you feel small. Going into a disagreement with a goal of gaining a better understanding or finding clarity can often benefit a relationship. On the other hand, a gaslighter's trademark purpose is to make you feel small, undervalued, and alone. You'll find that their words and phrases are used in malicious ways that can benefit them by keeping you mentally where they want you to be and bringing gradual harm to you both mentally and emotionally. Gaining the upper hand in a conversation with a gaslighter starts by understanding their behavior from their point of view. In knowing their goals and intentions, you're more quickly able to divert the discussion and protect yourself. Number four, they don't take responsibility for their words and actions. After a disagreement, it's not uncommon for there to be apologies and accountability taken on the side of all parties involved. Gaslighters are the exception. Instead of taking responsibility for ways they've hurt you or admitting to their faults, they're more likely to lie and make statements such as, I've never said that before, it may be difficult to refute a gaslighter's lies when they appear, but it's important to not allow their attempts to skew your sense of reality to succeed. If you're able to discredit them vocally, do so with a sense of conviction. If not, keep in mind that the most important thing is to salvage your mental well-being and choose to move on, even if this means not getting the apologies or fairness you deserve. And number five, you feel anxious about interacting with them. If a relationship is strained enough, you may both begin to feel tense at the thought of interacting with one another. But if you start to find yourself walking on eggshells around a particular person, consider that it might be because of the way they purposefully make you feel negative about yourself when you talk to them. These manipulative tendencies in someone else can cause you to want a little interaction with them as possible. Yet this can be difficult to do, especially if the person plays a big role in your life. For example, a partner, a close friend, a family member, or someone at work or school. Think about how your gaslighter has negatively influenced you in the past and write down ways in which you had responded instead. Also remember that not all discomfort is because of gaslighting. Those uncomfortable feelings could be due to other reasons. So, did you find yourself relating to any of the things we've mentioned here? At the end of the day, you're not responsible for the behaviors of a gaslighter, no matter how much they may try to make you believe so. It's not up to you to make them change their ways. And their inability or unwillingness to do so is not a reflection of your worth as a person. If you or anyone else you know is struggling with mental and emotional well-being, please seek help and talk to a mental health care professional today. Getting in touch with the right person can be a great first step to getting back on track. What are some things you've learned? What's something you wish to learn more about? What has been your experience? Write them down in the comments, and as always, thank you so much for watching. We'll see you in our next video.