 So, how should we think about money in terms of the impact it has on our psychology, on our psyche? So many of us experience massive amounts of anxiety, dread, or on this issue of money, constant worries about money, and you know, the amount of influence the issue of money has on our decision making is so profound when you think about it. It's like, what job will I take? Well, the question of money is going to become central in that, what college course should I do? Money comes into that question, who should I marry? Money is going to commit to that question. Should I leave my marriage? Maybe money is a part of that equation. So and you know, especially if you haven't maybe had money in your life, it's this kind of, even when you do get the money, it's this constant fear of losing it, right? So a lot of anxiety and there's so much worry about it and rumination and focus and energy goes into this issue of money. So of course we have to acknowledge that money is a part of life and you know to go into denial about that I think is not going to be very mature or grown up. Money is something that we need to support ourselves in life. But when we're thinking about the amount of anxiety around it, anxiety is a nervous system response. It's that fear response and really money has become for many of us. It's the modern day version of the Sabertooth Tiger. You know, there is no physical danger that we really face in our life anymore, thankfully for the most part. So there's no real threat that we can perceive in our physical environment. But the question of money has become the new Sabertooth Tiger in that it's the thing that causes that fight, flight or freeze response in so many of us. So okay, we're not going to go into denial about its importance, but we notice then also that if we're so hyper vigilant and concerned about money, money, money all the time and that's the only issue we have because maybe the nervous system is so preoccupied with finding safety and security. So that's going to be a problem too because then we're going to find ourselves in obligation mode, in responsibility mode all the time, concerned about making money, paying rent, finding the mortgage, whatever, finding that security. So I've come to the conclusion and one way to think about this is that, you know, modern day, you know, old, old-fashioned or, you know, maybe 100,000 years ago when we talked about courage, okay, when you're describing courage, maybe even 10,000 years ago, right, or even 100 years ago, courage was kind of thought of as like physical courage. It's that courage to go and fight off the predator or to go into battle to fight somebody physically. We don't really have that so much now, most of us at least. So modern day courage in my mind is the ability to not be in denial about the importance of money, but not to have the pressures, financial pressures that come with living a modern life be the thing that determine all our decisions. It's the ability to say, okay, money's important, but it's not the only thing that I care about, okay. It's in a way, it's like looking at the danger the way someone would look at a warrior in battle and say, you don't, you don't scare me, okay. It's the hero in the story of courage. Modern day heroes are people who can look at the issue of money and say, yeah, okay, I see you, but you know, I'm not afraid, I'm not afraid of you. Now it's different to denial. Denial is to go into, oh, it's not there at all, it's not even important, okay. It's not even acknowledging that it's there at all. We're acknowledging it here, but we want to say, okay, I need to find balance between security in my life and also a sense of purpose, meaning, or maybe creativity, because often there is no overlap between the two. Ideally, we'll find a way to make money in life that will bring us a sense of purpose, creativity, or meaning. Quite often, the two do not overlap. And if we direct all our time and energy and attention into this responsibility need, this obligation for security, and completely deny, repress, or ignore, or distract away from the need to find purpose, or meaning, or creativity, that's a huge emotional need that's going to be missing. And if it's missing for a long time, we're going to start feeling resentful. And if we feel resentful for a long time, we're going to start feeling angry. And that anger will show up in our life. Any unmet emotional need that we have, we will experience anger inevitably with it, if it's unmet for long enough. So really what we're looking for is a balance between the two of those. Now, okay, maybe if we can't find the meaning in the job, maybe the primary ways that we're going to bring in this security, can we carve out a space in our life for the pursuit of meaning, or purpose, or creativity? Here our other emotional needs too, but we're talking about this issue, the thing that typically gets sacrificed most is when we go for the obligation, or responsibility, or security. Well we go into denial about the importance of meaning, or purpose, or creativity. And that denial typically sounds like, look, that's a pipe dream. That's for other people. Just forget about that. That's not important. And I'm sorry, but it is important. And I'm not even saying necessarily that you have to go and have this remarkable success story when you're pursuing your meaning, purpose, or creativity. But to go into denial and pretend like it isn't an important emotional need for people is not right. That's just not true, in my opinion. And I've worked with so many people and I've seen, you know, that lackluster feeling, or that feeling where their kind of soul has been depressed for so long because they haven't been doing that. And you know, the textbook thing is like the midlife crisis where the person wakes up on morning and says, why am I doing this? What's the purpose of all of this? Because really there is more to life than basic security. Security is important. It's very important. And to feel safe and secure in your life is important. Not easy to do. But that doesn't mean that we have the option to go into denial about the importance, about the importance of meaning, purpose, and creativity in our life. In fact, some people have said we have an obligation to pursue meaning, purpose, and creativity, even if that means we're going to miss out on the security part of things. I think what the midlife crisis can tell us about this is, you know, that thing of waking up and seeing, oh my God, my purpose has been missing. What we'll see is, you know, at the end of life, sometimes people would have regrets about not pursuing purpose or meaning for themselves. And if a person can find a way, even in difficult circumstances where financially, you know, they're under pressure, if you can find a way to pursue that in your life, I think why it's so meaningful for us is that it's basically, we get to leave this earth. Having said, I came here and not only did I survive, I expressed myself. I lived from my authentic personality that wanted to say something in my time on earth. And if we leave without having done that, and you know, I don't know what that looks like for any given individual, it's so different for so many people. Purpose for people can be found artistically, it can be found in the business world. You know, it could be in your job. Absolutely, it could be in your job. It could be in relationships, it could be in anything. Although I tend to think that relationships is so profound that it's its own issue anyway. It's its own emotional need. But there can be overlap there. But the point is, if we don't, if we go into denial and we pretend like my life isn't supposed to have purpose or meaning. And there are many people out there that will tell you to park those dreams and that they're silly and they need to grow up. I disagree vehemently with those people. So it's like, OK, if I can get to express who I am in some way here, I don't even think it's like about ego or leaving a legacy for the future. I just think it's a way to say that a person, an individual can say, I was here and this is what I thought of things in my own way. This is what I deemed to be valuable enough to put my time and energy into. Even if it wasn't often financially lucrative to do that, but I still thought it was important to do. So I guess what I'm saying here is like there's something I've noticed as well is like oftentimes people will come to therapy. And it could be for something like anxiety or it could be something like depression, maybe, right? And the assumption I think a lot of people bring is that I have to do something about this thing called anxiety or depression that's in my life. And then, you know, we get into, well, how are you doing meaning these emotional needs that you have? And, you know, it's amazing to me. It's like, well, it's not really amazing to me. It's actually so common. It's not amazing at all. It's like they have this thing of what do you mean emotional needs, you know? And that to me is very telling because if we're not meeting the emotional needs that we have, maybe, you know, we went to denial and repressed them away. We're going to experience anxiety and depression. So it's not like this thing of anxiety and depression has fallen out of the sky. It's like I haven't been attuned to my own needs. And that can happen for many, many reasons. It can happen for reasons in childhood when maybe a parent wasn't attuned to our emotional needs and we learned that they weren't important. Or people since then have kept reinforcing the idea that I need to grow up and put away my emotions, OK? But I think what we can find, at the very least, is maybe a balance between this need for security financially and following purpose and meaning. And I think that's such an essential thing to do in our lives. If we're going to feel good emotionally or if we're going to avoid things like intense anxiety or intense depression or other such things. And there are other reasons that you can have those things. But that's certainly one of the reasons I think we can have it. It's not attuned to my own emotional needs. So I guess I'm advocating for balance here and I'm giving a nod to, OK, there's an obligation to take care of yourself, to be self-sufficient in life. But there's also an obligation to not be in denial about the fact that you need to find a sense of purpose, meaning and creativity. So I'll leave it there. Hope that's food for thought and I'll see you again soon.