 This week we are looking at one of this channel's most requested reviews. I have to thank a few people for helping me complete this figure, Lawson Allen, Mike Stafford, and Arthur who sent one of the first donated boxes I ever received. That's a lot of contributions to complete one figure, but this figure has one rather notorious accessory that's hard to find. I have to thank Mastit Chyneak for another brilliant title card image. That guy is on fire. I really appreciate all his work. By the way, I'm shooting in my backyard because we have guests over and I didn't want to disturb them while I finish my video work. So I'm sorry if you get some background noise. Also, considering the character we're talking about, I don't want them to think I'm a crazy person. Of course, we're talking about the CROCKMASTER. Oh, I mean the CROCKMASTER. F**K! This is getting expensive. Start the theme song. Another vintage GI Joe toy review, and this week we are looking at one of the weirdest figures in the GI Joe toy line. At least in the 80s, the 90s had its own weirdness scale. CROCKMASTER has a cult following. I know he has plenty of fans. I have a feeling this is gonna be one of those videos where I have an unpopular opinion and everyone gets really mad at me. I like to defy expectations, though. I absolutely will point out all the absurdities with this figure, but I don't intend to rant about it as much as you might expect. I won't say I like the figure. Now, this is a figure I can appreciate on an ironic level. Like a so-bad-it's-good movie. CROCKMASTER is the troll, too, of action figures. Which I guess means raptor is the BIRDEMIC of action figures. Even though I'm keeping as open a mind as possible, I still have a hard time not making fun of his name. H.C.C. 788 presents Ca- CROCKMASTER and his big lizard. This is CROCKMASTER, Cobra's reptile trainer from 1987. This figure was first available in 1987 and was also available in 1988 and was discontinued for 1989. There were no other versions of CROCKMASTER in the Vintage Era. There were later versions of CROCKMASTER released after the Vintage Era, and we will look at one of them in this video. He is the first crocodile-themed Cobra character, but he wasn't the only animal-themed Cobra character. Also in 1987, Cobra had the Falconer Raptor. For some reason, in 1987, Cobra thought they really needed more people who dressed up like animals. And somehow this would lead to victory. CROCKMASTER didn't have an equivalent on the G.I. Joe team, at least not as a reptile trainer. However, according to the file card, CROCKMASTER's reptiles were used to guard Cobra Island. For the Joes, mutt and junkyard and law and order would fill that role. Of course, they used trained dogs because they're not insane. CROCKMASTER's natural environment would be the swamps. As a swamp fighter, he has a couple G.I. Joe counterparts. Gung Ho wasn't designated as a swamp fighter, but he spent a lot of his formative years in the swamps of Louisiana. In 1988, G.I. Joe got a designated swamp fighter, Muskrat. CROCKMASTER comes with an animal companion. I don't want to talk about it too much yet. We'll talk about it more when we talk about the accessories. Animal companions were fairly common. They were first introduced in 1984 with mutt's dog junkyard and spirit's eagle freedom. I usually have CROCKMASTER displayed as you see here, with his knees bent. The chain and handle on the collar accessory is short, so he has to reach low to hold on to it. That's alright for display, but it limits the options for posing the figure, at least if you want him holding his lizard. With a name like CROCKMASTER, is he inspired by the Batman villain killer CROCK? Not directly, he doesn't really look like killer CROCK, but it's possible the designer had killer CROCK in the back of his mind when he was creating CROCKMASTER. CROCKMASTER does look like a Batman villain, though. If you didn't know this figure was connected to G.I. Joe, you might think it was from a Batman toy line. Let's take a look at CROCKMASTER's accessories, starting with the most obvious one. This, the card contents call a crocodile. This is not a crocodile. This is an alligator. Although gators and crocs look similar, they are not in the same family. Crocodiles have narrow, more V-shaped snouts. Alligator snouts are more rounded, as seen here. I don't know if the designer or the sculptor didn't know the difference, or didn't care, or just thought an alligator would look better. It's made of green plastic, a solid piece of green plastic. It's not articulated. It has no paint applications. That's fine, it doesn't really need any more color. The sculpt itself is good. I honestly don't know if it's even possible to train alligators, at least not to train them to be like watchdogs. CROCKMASTER isn't an army builder figure. He's an individual character. But to get the full effect of CROCKMASTER's specialty, you might consider army building his alligator. He really should have more than one. You can place them all around your cobra base. Army building is easy. They are really not hard to come by. Next we have what the card contents call a binder cable. It's made of black, flexible plastic. It has a buckle for the collar. But it fits loosely enough that you can slip it on and off the alligator without unbuckling it. It has a spiked collar. It has big square chain links. It has a rectangular handle. That's all very flexible. The only thing I would change about this is to make it longer. I want CROCKMASTER to be able to stand fully upright while holding it. A couple more links in that chain would have made all the difference. Next we have what the card contents call a neuro lash. It's a big whip with a forked tip. It's in light tan color and it's made of soft plastic so it is flexible. The sculpting makes it look like it's made of leather. It has a handle but the handle is a little thick. So I usually have the figure gripping it above the handle. It has a loop on the end and that loop is often broken. I don't believe this is a weapon. I think this is supposed to be a tool for training reptiles I guess. And finally we have the infamous hose. This attachment made of soft black plastic. It is ridged. It has a couple knobs, one at each end. It attaches to the figure in two different places. It attaches to this device on the shoulder. It's got a hole there. Then it has another hole in the head at the mouth and it attaches there. So it connects the mask on the figure to this device on the shoulder. This is without a doubt the most frequently missing part. What is this for? Is it a respirator? Does it keep Crocmaster from breathing marsh gas? It doesn't go anywhere. It plugs into the silver protrusion on the shoulder but there's no oxygen tank or anything. The art on the card makes it look like a scuba hose but again there is no air tank. Maybe it's a snorkel. So Crocmaster can float face down in the water. Taking a look at the articulation on Crocmaster he had the articulation that was standard for GI Joe figures by 1987. So he could turn his head from left to right and look up and down. He could swing his arm up at the shoulder and swivel at the shoulder all the way around. He had a hinge at the elbow so he could bend his arm at the elbow about 90 degrees. He had a swivel at the bicep so he could swivel his arm all the way around. The figure was held together with a rubber O-ring that looped around the inside. That allowed him to move at the torso a bit. He could move his legs apart about so far. He could bend his leg at the hip about 90 degrees and bend at the knee about 90 degrees. Let's take a look at the sculpt design and color of Crocmaster starting with his head. On his head he has a black mask that covers his entire head. He has red eyes, angry eyes. This mask looks like Spider-Man's alien costume but with red eyes instead of white. He has a silver device covering his nose and mouth where the hose connects. This head really isn't all that bad. Having a Cobra character with a totally black head and red eyes is a good idea. It's at the chest where things get weird. He has a bulky chest with an alligator skin tank top. It is green with raised gator skin texture on it that same texture is on the back. He has that silver device on his left shoulder that the hose plugs into. He has a red Cobra emblem in a black circle on the right side of his chest. They probably make him wear that Cobra emblem while he's on the base just so they know he's not a random crazy person that wandered in. If you were a member of an international terrorist organization with aspirations of world domination and you saw this guy among your ranks, how would that make you feel? Would you feel confident? Would you feel your employers were hiring the most stable people? His arms are bare and muscular. He has a silver brace on his right wrist. He has a green gator skin band on his left wrist. The arms are relatively normal. On his waist he has a big silver belt and right in the middle he has a big yellow and black reptilian eye. I'll let you make up your own jokes about that. The belt has some additional yellow details possibly pockets. Then he has these red circles on each side. This may be the weirdest belt in all of G.I. Joe. In addition to that on his waist piece he has a green gator skin crotch cover. There's a combination of words I never thought I'd say. His legs are black. His right leg is plain. His left leg has a green gator skin pistol holster with a black pistol and a brown band that goes around his thigh. The pistol holster on the left side implies that Crockmaster is left handed. And finally he has tall green gator skin boots and on the right boot he has a black knife and a couple straps that go around the boot. For a guy who loves alligators he killed a lot of them to make this outfit. We have something special in this video something we don't usually have. We have a modern figure to look at. We have the 2008 Crockmaster figure and special thanks to Larry Loera for donating this figure to me. What can I say about it? It's a faithful translation of the vintage Crockmaster to modern form. All the same basic details are there. The pistol is now removable. The other accessories are basically the same. You have a whip, you have a chain and a crocodile. This one looking more like a crocodile than the original. The new one is also articulated. It can open its mouth. It has some paint applications as well. The chain is longer, much longer. That's an improvement. It comes with a figure span as all modern figures do. Also now we have a tank that the hose connects to so that perhaps makes a little more sense. One thing I like about it if you look at his right arm at the bicep you can see a bite mark. It looks like one of his reptilian friends has taken a bite out of him. It's a one-for-one translation. If you like the vintage Crockmaster you'll probably like the modern version. They didn't update the look of the character at all. Let's take a look at Crockmaster's file card. His file card has his faction as Cobra. It has a portrait of Crockmaster here. It says his codename is Crockmaster. He's the Cobra reptile trainer. It says filename unknown. Okay, then why even have it then? This top paragraph says a casual visitor to Cobra Island. Does Cobra Island have casual visitors? I might find his access to certain areas blocked by a maze-like system of shallow canals. These interconnecting waterways are abundantly stocked with ravenously hungry man-eating crocodiles which have been deliberately conditioned to be hostile, psychotic, and fast. The man responsible for these repugnant reptiles is Crockmaster, a former alligator wrestler and burglar alarm salesman who founded Guard Gators, Inc. in an effort to commercialize the use of alligators in home security. Burglar alarm salesman? I guess they had to find some way to combine reptile training and security. And here it says he works with alligators. Make up your mind. Alligators for home security. That is possibly the dumbest idea I've ever heard of. Crockmaster is basically a crackpot with a crazy business idea. There's no way it should work. He should fail and go back to selling burglar alarms. But Cobra comes along and gives him a chance. This bottom paragraph has a quote without attribution. It says Crockmaster spends his leisure hours dozing in a tub of tepid bathwater with only his nose breaking the surface. He dreams strange green dreams. Green dreams? While grinding his teeth and clenching his powerful jaws, he has a hunger that never leaves him. A hunger for Taco Bell. This is a poetic way of saying Crockmaster behaves like a crocodile. Okay, we get it. Let's move on. To test whether guard alligators would actually work, I've rented a guard alligator and set it loose in my backyard. I haven't told Susan about it. Let's see what happens. That didn't do anything. Where is that f***ing alligator? Looking at how Crockmaster was used in G.I. Joe Media, he had no animated appearances in The Vintage Era, so we just look at the comic book this time. Crockmaster had a handful of appearances in the comic book series published by Marvel Comics, but I want to talk about one important appearance in yearbook number four. In the opening story, Crockmaster is shown doing exactly what the file card says he does, protecting Cobra Island. The October Guard launched a mission to capture Cobra Commander. Because of a series of unlikely events, Cobra Commander is replaced with a battle android trooper, and the October Guard kidnapped the android, thinking it's the real Cobra Commander. I'm going to surprise everyone and say I really enjoyed this story. I even liked Crockmaster in the story. Crockmaster is first seen floating in the swamp, alligator-like. Then there's that green dreams thing again. What does that mean? He senses the approach of intruders and summons his pet alligators. It explicitly says they are alligators, not crocodiles. Considering how swamps form, Cobra Island really shouldn't have a swamp. But let's not let science get in the way of a good story. The alligators really give the October Guard a hard time. They kind of work like they're supposed to. Crockmaster has given them all names, like Lolita and Tiffany. That's kind of funny. In this issue, we get to see GI Joe's navy seals, wetsuit, and torpedo in their infantry gear. That's fantastic. I wanted figures like this. Torpedo's hair is miscolored blonde. That's the only problem. This was an enjoyable story. I didn't mind Crockmaster in the story, and it had some implications for future events. Looking at Crockmaster overall, this figure is just too weird for me to love. I never needed a reptile trainer like I never needed a bird man. Despite that, I will say I understand why other people like it. It is well made and well sculpted, and would work well as a supervillain in a different toyline. The biggest problems are with the accessories. The alligator is fine. The collar and chain don't work well. The collar is too wide, the chain is too short. That hose is just an extra piece that gets lost easily, and it serves no real purpose. If you're not a completist, you could easily skip the hose. As for Crockmaster's integration into the GI Joe universe, I have to admire Larry Hama's effort to write him into the comic book. He was integrated as well as could be hoped. He had a role, and he filled that role. In the hands of a lesser writer, it could have been a lot worse. It is a good idea to have someone who is responsible for securing the wilderness areas of Cobra Island. It's a little silly to put a crocodile man in that position, but Cobra would need a specialist for it. If you love Crockmaster, I'm glad you do. It's great that GI Joe gave you a figure that you enjoy. And if you think I'm totally off base, I'm sure you're already typing in your comment. So go right ahead, I can't stop you. That was my review of Crockmaster. I hope you enjoyed it. We've spent a couple weeks in the swamp. Next week, we're going to look at a different kind of green. By the way, there was a lot of bleeping in this video, but in reality, I never really said any of the swear words I bleeped out. Anything can sound dirty if you bleep it. The assumed profanity is just filled in by your dirty mind. You filthy bitches. If this video didn't defend you, please consider giving it a thumbs up on YouTube and subscribing to the YouTube channel. Track me down on Facebook and Twitter for social media interactions. If you want to support the channel, I have a Patreon with some special perks. You can also visit my website, hcc788.com. Thanks everyone for watching. I'll see you later, alligator. And until then, remember only GI Joe is GI Joe. We're talking, of course, about the Cronk Master. FUNK! Where is that farting alligator? The assumed profanity is just filled in by your dirty mind. You filthy peaches.