 Let's take a look at this. Actually, I did already and my first impression was that the timing Felt rushed and it was kind of even if that makes sense much if that makes sense at all, but It feels like we're going through all the elements where There's movement movement movement something happens Go straight into an emotion This is like the only time where there's a little pause where maybe the character is thinking Let me go straight back into it. And then there's nothing there I'm meaning as in terms of thought process or anything And then you get straight into this and then this happens Well, it just feels like there. It's feels like two actors Rehearsing and just going through the beats So looking at this, I think even those moves if you look at his Especially it just feel all very very fast and there's something weirdly disconnected where There's this big move in his arm and I know it's the first pass So it's like I'm not, you know, super looking into body mechanics, but but still you have to look at She is kind of looking here and not quite here And he's so super close but yet looking here and then we have they're also so close They were starting to have tangents and overlaps It's actually here tangent So it just feels a bit I think you could Framing wise you I would try to keep him out here And then I can just you know extend their arms more if you want that to be cleaner So you can almost have This still happened here But they will be further out if my scribbles make sense and she could be here Further out now. I know you think yeah, but what about them getting closer But I think if we start with that and it's a clean silhouette and I think you want to give this Just more time Where they might be doing something and it's kind of like the look and okay ready and One two three where you could do first two might be even and the third one might be fast Or there's something where and I know that you don't want to surprise someone It's like one two three, but there's something about this kind of popping out And you want to give this just a bit more time also for the audience to read And there could be something where You know as we are further away The heads could be they could be looking at each other And then they look down and it's almost preparing the audience to also look down to this spot and then you start The arm thing one two three And then when he has that this they could be Strictly because we are not seeing you if you see mostly her face, right? It's the way they're angled But it could be something where when this happens instead of going straight into this He might have a slight turn towards us with a reaction going. Ah, yes Where what if he's if I'm sitting here? Anyway, it does this and goes And this I could turn to oh I know he's still engaging her but it's and it's not like he wants to play straight to camera, but it's kind of a Yes, so he does this and goes Ah, yes, right? It kind of turns a bit we get to see the face and then he can get into his reaction And then I would probably hold this just a bit longer So then she can have a bit of a head move Maybe like a head up or a bit to the side where the audience then goes to her because we want to know how she feels And right now everything is so neutral about her that I don't know if she's okay with that The thing that makes it somewhat okay is that he goes down here puts his hand on her face, but then waits It's as if he waits Let's say like for her permission, but like, okay, like there's almost like she's He's not pulling her towards him. She's not super surprised. It's okay. Well, that's the game and given the shape You got to be careful with Is she getting to this with a smile or not? I guess this completely Uh, you know consensual in a way But then, you know, if not, then you can look at is she getting here Slightly frowny or not and then how she gets away. Is this Him releasing her or is this her pulling away from him? You know not Happy about this, but then kind of have kind of having a smile of okay. Let's let's see But then you have to be careful if she goes first That means that she is okay with this because she wants to do it again. Maybe she wants revenge But you know, there's no revenge if she If she gets to kiss him. I don't they still kiss. I'm not quite sure You know, you're not quite sure about this game about the rules So then this happens. It's the same idea again. She's looking here looking at it. It's it's not quite working Um in terms of the staging of them and again if they're they're further away, you know, he can Get slightly out of that post with one leg over and kind of lean in Maybe maybe it's one arm down for support and maybe does it just with one arm And one that's behind her so we don't cover her face. Like I think you can easily get back into This with them being further away. Maybe, you know, she scoots forward or he scoots forward Maybe that could be it. They're starting this way and then for the kiss they kind of Not closer. But again, if she does that, that means she is okay with this. So I'm slightly unclear with This is a fun game to her and then she just has fun with this and slaps him because she knows he's a jerk And this is something you've done before like, I don't know. Or is this something where She's always kind of like, oh man, why am I doing this? Like I have no idea what's going on here anyway But anyway, so we're just saying that if they're further away and in first game they get a bit closer than kiss and then second game Happens again See because here now she's pulling away and then it's it's just a bit odd but So she wouldn't be scooching closer because she actually doesn't want to do this anymore. But then again She's the first one to go up Maybe it's because of what we call this time. I'm just gonna slap him So if she does this then maybe I wouldn't have her go again here First I mean so it's always him initiating and he's the jerk And again, especially when this happens And he wins You gotta have another little bit of a Like it doesn't have to be this big same reaction as the first one But maybe like shoulders up and a bit of a yes and a bit of a not or something And for her definitely a reaction of maybe I roll or like head down slump shoulder down To kind of really push the idea of oh man And then this happens And again, you have to be careful. She's pulling away But then in this timing it feels like she is faster than him Getting in there meaning that she is still driving this unless she wants to get over with it Fast, you know, I mean like you have to be very very careful with those acting choices And the timing is going to be very important to tell us what's going on because I'm again slightly confused as to what You know the con not the context, but what's what's the driver and you know, who is for this game who's against this game And again, this can be fine when she starts first And I like this because now we're going. Hmm. What is she up to? Bam But probably pose wise, you know, if you go back into this I would just get into a big nice arc up Maybe she can lean back a bit where you wonder what's going on and she can just kind of Have a bigger meal out of this especially when she does this move It's going to take the shoulder and then the chest with her and she's going to spider mechanics wise move more over Again, I know for his past but just be mindful that You want to bring those things in and then for him? It's almost like you want to do this and then he has his eyes wide open going what? Unless unless it's such a fast thing that he goes straight into this then I wouldn't pause But if there's a pause and he's looking at us, it would be fun to see a reaction of He didn't see this coming Or it's a pain with a smile because he knows he's a jerk like I know this I think I think it's an interesting idea and you have a lot of room to play with this acting wise It's just right now a bit timid And especially at the end when he falls you could add something else with her Is she getting ready to get up? Or is she ready for another game? Or I don't know. I don't know if this has to be the last thing it could be something where If she does this and he falls and she gets really serious in frowns to really emphasize that you know, she hates this or Into back another playful pose and then and then we get to see that they're both in I don't know. I don't know. I'm not again. I'm slightly confused I'll be awesome if you can email me and kind of walk me through your ideas and your pitch and just the Just give me kind of a background of what you're trying to achieve Because just watching this cold I didn't see just the emails just kind of set for submission. So I don't know quite the history and the context of all this All right, that's it. Thank you All right, there's an email you can sign up you can start whenever you want you can submit whatever you want You get 16 submissions either way the like and subscribe would be awesome. All right. Thank you