 The Jack Benney program. L.A., four, L.A., one, that. Lucky strike means, fine tobacco, so round, so firm, so fully packed, so free and easy on the draw. S. M. F. T. L. S. M. F. T. L. S. M. F. T. Why sure. Yes, sir. You bet. Lucky strike means, fine tobacco, so round, so firm, so fully packed, so free and easy on the draw at markets now open in the south independent tobacco experts auctioneers buyers and warehouse men present at the auction can see the makers of lucky strike consistently select and buy the right for the naturally milder lucky strike tobacco sold I'm a record remember sworn record show that among such men who know tobacco best it's lucky's two to one the lucky strike program starring Jack Benny with Barry Livingston Phil Harris Rochester and yours truly Don Wilson ladies and gentlemen let's go out to Jack Benny's house in Beverly Hills Jack has invited the gang over for a late Sunday breakfast and right now he's in the kitchen getting things started let's see I want the gang to have a nice breakfast I think I'll start them off with some good old California orange juice now no I think they'd like sliced orange better yep that's what I'll do I'll slice it well there's no use stopping now I might as well slice the other half roll your pants legs down I'm leaving them up it's cooler this way come on let's go in the kitchen and get things fell stop twisting my knee oh I'm sorry I thought it was the doorknob like that you won't get any breakfast say Don you haven't opened your mouth since you got here just put the food on the table and stand by do us a favor will you give us the rest of us a 15 minute head start please don't the food isn't even ready yet get up out of that crouching position yeah and Phil get the bacon out of the ice but okay you'll find it in the low hey kids look at the stuff in this icebox three quarts of cream and four pounds of butter for the money or breach of promise when I help you with the jury that stuff will you stop kidding around and help me get breakfast do we have to prepare the breakfast Jack where's Rochester that's what I'd like to know I'll let him have Friday night off here it is Sunday morning he isn't back yet maybe ran away and got married that's what I thought but I looked in his hope chest and everything was there Rochester has a hope chest well it isn't exactly a hope chest he won it from an undertaker and had no other use for it anyway he couldn't have got married I didn't give him his availability certificate come on Mary help me with the food look if you fellas will get out of my way I'll have breakfast ready in no time Mary's right fellas come on let's go in the other room hey Phil not so fast that easy chair is mine so Jack while we're waiting do you mind if I turn on the radio no no Don go ahead never in automobile history have used cars brought such high prices so if you have a car in your garage that's not working sell that car to me I will pay you $8,000 for its sight unseen providing after selling the car you will let me live in the garage get something else down will you please stop moving the dial so much okay here always does that when something interesting comes on get something else down is your belt buckle tarnished do your suspenders give you that over 35 let down deficiency in your diet if there is you need both you sin for the soothing sir simply spelled backwards is your tapas yh t a p m y s you know I gotta I gotta try some of that stuff remember folk sympathy soothing syrup comes in the 10 cent size the 25 cent family size the 49 cent economy size or for $1.98 we will pipe it right to your house that must be awfully good stuff okay boys breakfast is ready come and get it okay come on down Phil shut off the radio and now for today's guest star we have that lovely singer of songs miss Martha Tilton hey wait a minute don't shut it off Phil that's Martha Tilton she was overseas with me in the South Pacific let's listen to her Martha before you sing would you tell us a little something about your overseas trip what a show we had well as you know I went over with Larry Adler Carol Landis June Brunner and Jack Benny had to put my name last is there any particular incident you'd like to tell us about well oh yes one night Jack and I and a native guide were making our way through a dark jungle in New Guinea oh my goodness like that she must have ducked and now ladies and gentlemen Martha Tilton will sing the trolley so imagine her telling a thing like that huh with her hot said of the boys were nuts about her and that was a wonderful breakfast Mary I'll help you with the dishes let me help her Jackson we don't want you to get dishpan hands of Rochester was here we wouldn't have to don don't stop dropping your ashes on the rug but Jack these are cigarette ashes I know they're cigarette ashes and I don't want them on my rug but Jack these are lucky strike cigarette ashes I don't care if they're you see I got a little excited because this is a very unusual rug it's a it's real Angora why don't you kill us so you don't have to take it out at night they fellas I gotta go over to NBC and set up the sound effects for the broadcast see you there later okay Jackson so long Jack you have to go this early yeah I just have a few minutes to catch the bus goodbye the trolling buzz buzz buzz went the buzz gee these buses are always so crowded well I don't mind standing hmm things are sure happening fast these days look at these headlines Japs driven back in Lately that's swell both candidates winding up their political campaigns gee I mustn't forget the vote Russians advancing in Germany now they're doing a great job hey buddy if you mind if I turn my own pages sorry I just wanted to find out what happened to snowflake and shaky see that shaky is some guy before him there was a brow and prune face and flat top gosh I'm tired I wish I could sit down well here old man take my seat thank you very white friend Jack imagining meeting you on a bus why yes it's such an amazing coincidence here I was just thinking about the brow flat top and prune face and I run into you well that's what I like about you Jack you will say anything for a laugh and someday you may get one thanks by the way Fred how are you coming along with your picture I just finished the picture Jack that's called it's in the bag oh well it ought to be a success you're advertising it under each eye anyway good luck on the picture well thanks you know Jack people would sure be surprised to hear you wishing me luck they think our feud is on the level yeah you know I wonder how many of my listeners my ex listeners thought I was serious last year when I said Benny isn't really cheap it's just that he has short arms and carries his money low in his pocket yeah you know and I've been a lot of my listeners thought I meant it when I said the way Alan talks through his nose he's the only comedian and radio who tells him and smells him at the same time yes that was a good one too one of the few as I and remember remember the year remember the time on my program when I when I was kidding about you having no blood yeah what a laugh I got that time I said every time Benny goes out in a polo shirt he takes a pencil and makes lines on his arms so people will think he has veins when Mary explained that to me I nearly died remember the time that I said that Alan had so many wrinkles in his face he looked like a convertible with the top halfway down I was with months the day that you you know when I when I explained that to my Pontiac I thought the exhaust pipe on the car had lips what fun we have on the radio you know Fred radio wouldn't be so bad if I could just find a singer oh you haven't found one yet no and I'm willing to pay as high as $35 a week if I could if I could just get the kind of singer the public likes well that's just it Jack you have to find out what the public wants now you should take a poll you know like Dr. Gallup asked the man in the street the man in the street was certainly now Jack if you will come with me I know just the place we can get a cross section of public opinion all right let's go great for me to conduct my poll yes Jack here we are down in Allen's alley so we have something like this around my neighborhood only we call it the La Brea tarp hit the day I went over to see your uncle I well let's not lose any time he was playing pitch in the back here's the first house the little vine covered termite nought shack of John Doe this is Jack Benny he's trying to try to find a singer for his radio show oh yeah well mr. Benny who's that jellyhead who's been singing on your show he always sings the same song that's what I like about the South oh you mean mr. Fay I mean Phil Harris do you like do you like Phil singing his voice is flatter than a lunch wagon waffle now look mr. Doe parents don't quit singing about the South he'll stop another civil war forget mr. Harris just tell me one thing do you know where I can get a singer oh why don't you ask the Andrew sisters maybe they got a brother no I've tried everybody else though hey why don't you do what Frankenstein done you mean make myself a singing monster yeah you could take singing Sam's mouth Rudy Valley's nose Morton Downey's chest and Nelson Eddie's body say that sounds good yeah you'd have 10% Valley 15% singing Sam 20% Downey and 49% Eddie why not 50% Eddie well you don't want no half Nelson do you buy this is a waste of time Fred he didn't help me any I'll keep your beret on Jack let's try this next house this is Nussbaum you were expecting maybe mr. Skaff in town Mrs. Nussbaum this is Jack Benny the radio comedian yes haven't you ever heard my program on Sunday night to the other group the other droop the person Mr. Benny is looking for a singer for his radio program who is your favorite singer mr. Nussbaum only one singer I am in joining John Charles Shapiro John Charles Shapiro you're passing by appointment only and he's good you say good then John Charles Shapiro is singing where you is or couldn't you possibly be my no selection singer the world's greatest singer now wait a minute Mrs. Nussbaum don't forget Sinatra what about Frankie Frankie Schmanke Shapiro is romantic have you ever heard Sinatra incessantly I'm hearing Sinatra when he is singing I am so warning well if Shapiro is more romantic how can you swoon at Sinatra all I need on my program John Charles Shapiro by appointment only now don't be impatient Jack we'll find somebody let's see who's in here mr. Benny this is Socrates Mulligan pleased to meet you please to meet you mr. Mulligan oh wait wait a minute he's Jack Benny the radio comedian your Socrates Mulligan well certainly you are what does it say on your birth certificate Molly Mulligan my mother wanted it Kyle look Socrates mr. Benny is trying to find a singer for his radio program wait a minute mr. Mulligan something tells me you're a great admirer of Bing Crosby yeah I always eat his cheese while you're talking to us would you mind taking it out of your mouth yes Socrates what about the singer so I'm not about Bing I eat his cheese for breakfast cheese for lunch and cheese for dinner well that's a lot of cheese but mr. Benny's looking for a singer so the only one singer Bing Crosby I got 200 of Bing's records inside 200 of Crosby's records yeah and they're all the same song wait a minute wait a minute look what do you do with all that shortening bread with cheese it's delicious Ali this whole thing is hoping well don't give up now Jack let's see what happens here hi-ho all I'll start my chore Paul stabs here with poems below this is Jack Benny well you're just in time mr. Benny I've written some new hoes have you heard the rose has gone from your cheeks darling but your neck still looks like a stem no or perhaps my mother's a bird in the gilded cage since they painted the bars of her cell or the Siamese twins are going screwy ones voting for Roosevelt the others for doing mr. Benny isn't interested in your poetry he's just trying to find a singer for his program precisely why I am here I have written a poem you've written a poem about my problem for staff yes it's called the reason how does it go mr. Benny you're haggard and worried as you start your radio season you wonder why you can't get a singer I think I can tell you the reason other programs have no singer problems so you know something's radically wrong when all radio rings with fine voices and your show both scenario song the reason you can't get a singer I'd be frank mr. B here is why a singer won't work for just LS MFT you've got to pay mo any why these people didn't help me at all well I tried I'm sorry false there thanks just the same well you gentlemen must have had a long journey would join me in the cup of tea woods woods good oh jeez jeez please serve some tea two for these gentlemen and one for me your order sir will be up in a minute do you want a spater do you want something in it Van Jones what are you doing here mr. Paul staff gave me a job right in Poland what this is Jack Benny again last Friday October 27th was Navy Day and I had planned sort of a little speech about it but after reading the headlines in the newspapers about the job our Navy is doing in the South Pacific I decided to throw my speech away because anything I might say would be insignificant there's just one thing however our men are out there fighting while I'm talking to you now Navy Day means that we here at home must continue to back those men up by sticking to our wartime jobs and giving through the many channels at our disposal thank you Morgan lucky strike means fine tobacco remember that ladies and gentlemen lucky strike means fine tobacco the riper the naturally milder lucky strike tobacco yes lucky strike means fine tobacco so smoke the smoke tobacco expert smoke lucky strike so round so firm so fully packed so free and easy on the draw the famous tobacco auctioneers heard on tonight's programmer mr. L.A. speed rigs of Goldsboro, North Carolina and mr. F.B. Boone of Lexington, Kentucky Basil Riesdale speaking for lucky strike L.S. M.F.T. L.S. M.F.T. L.S. M.F.T. a friendly suggestion for your own real deep down smoking enjoyment smoke the tobacco expert smoke lucky strike I want to thank Martha Tilton and Fred Allen and all about yeah I hate to thank Allen I have to though I guess huh and all of Allen's Alley for being here on our show tonight good night everybody this is the National Broadcasting Company