 Welcome to broadcast. I'm David Feldman David Feldman show.com as everybody who listens to the show knows when I was Doing the Hulu show with triumph on the road. We needed guest hosts So Frank Conniff filled in for me a couple of other people filled in and it was amazing It was just that we got the numbers went through the roof Everybody said you finally solved the problem of the David Feldman show. It's David Feldman Please welcome our guest host Keith from Keith and the girl You're gonna be the permanent guest host of my show. Thank you and thank you for having no ego about it Super Tuesday was this past. I think it was Tuesday classic David The reason Trump is doing so well in Arkansas is due to his constantly talking about how he wants to bang his own daughter That joke was so good because there was like no Jew after-effect It was innocent. Yeah, yeah, Hillary's winning in Massachusetts. Yeah, okay by a Carly for in a hair You know what I mean? I think I do. Yeah, I would be pronounced Carly Fiorina But it would be who's that who's Joe state Carly Fiorina hair, but that's this is why your show We yeah, we have to think about my voice. I'm sorry, you know Thursday was the big debate. Yes, Thursday's debate where the episode of the Flintstones Brett bear would be Brett boulder of rocks news I don't know any of these people Nice nice, but I think the writer because I hired some of the best writers. Okay show business, right? I think what do you think they meant? I think they're saying that Brett bear from Fox News looks like Flintstones right right like the right boulder Flintstone Dr. Ben Carson was gonna show up But he received the last minute rubble call from Ted Cruz telling him the debate was actually the Academy Awards And he wasn't nominated and could these be more word Did you guys see the Oscars black America sent a message that Hollywood's gonna remember for three or four days to come Like a long time Honestly guys the Oscars were the best in years and you know the producers were going hey, we should fail to nominate people of color more often This is what I get I hear Donald Trump's cock is up for an Oscar in the category of best short Donald Trump the GOP has finally gone from the part of Lincoln or the party. This is part I don't A secret service agent protecting Right this one's for the college kid thanks to Donald Trump the GOP has finally gone from the party of Lincoln for the party of Jefferson Davis Philosophy class right there one-on-one Davis I like that delivery. Thank you a Jefferson Davis was Jefferson Davis he was the president of the Confederacy so the president of the Confederacy, so it's Yeah, not funny a secret service agent protecting Trump beat up a photographer for time magazine Nice to see my good friend Alec Baldwin finding work again. What? Paparazzi Well a lot of people these days are comparing him to Mussolini, and I think that's unfair. I know it's not nice to Mussolini What are we talking about? I think it's unfair to call Trump a fascist. I see him more than the opposite Oh David Duke is really taking the heat. Oh my god, you read this in the news guys He's taking the heat the motion picture Academy of Arts and Sciences just revoked his membership. That means no more screeners But the screeners are the whole fun part of it My writer gave me a joke. Oh, okay, and for one second Keith reading these jokes, you sound like Andrew dice gay It's so much better with a guest house, but we bring a new energy Megan Kelly's eyelashes are longer than Donald Trump's fingers tonight. I mean this guy has fake fingers Trump had this look on his face like he smells what he's saying I'm confused oh guys seriously folks everybody relax. I'm confused when they're wrong they caused Donald Trump a phony and a fraud Does he mean he's does that mean he's endorsing him? We like more there's only 10 more pages There could have been a way for the GOP to stop Trump's votes from being counted but Scalia went and died on us the guy from the court Scalia. It was Scalia It must be difficult. You call him scalia. Yeah. Yeah, I never liked He's like a lizard he's like a lizard It must be difficult for all these diehard Republicans being forced to disavow white supremacist with Scalia's corpse barely cold Probably something that makes sense Yeah, yeah, it's not funny. No, I like it. It's more like a encyclopedia. This is actually passive-aggressive What I'm doing is I'm giving you really lousy jokes Now that I realize is that it looks like I have no ego, but what I'm really trying to do is humiliate you Do you get do you notice this? Now that enough time has passed isn't it ironic that Antonin Scalia the most homophobic judge on the supreme court died biting a pillow You know what it's interesting most do you do you know the term pillowbiter? I am familiar with the term Hey, okay, because I do I live the term I know that pillow that your generation doesn't know the term pillowbiter Is that a thing about my generation? Yes, they do say that millennials are into the word faggot. Oh millennials Oh, I used to say that word all the time I'm a millennial I think she should leave donald go ahead That's donald's wife. Oh Megan mccain. Here's some thoughts. Oh, that's that's it. That's it. That's it. Megan and Megan mccain So tell the audience that we're gonna take a quick break. We're gonna take a quick break And we're gonna be back with keith and the girl and we'll be right back with keith and the girl