 Hello, my name is Christopher Clayton Morris, though you may know me better under the pseudonym Dr. Sumerian and This is part of a new series I'm hoping to do depending on the reaction of the community and my subscribers this author sent an article into me specifically Seeking the harshest critique I could give them and I'm going to do that. I'm going to be a dick about it Do not be a dick to people who have not specifically Requested it and when I say that I don't mean someone who puts a draft up on the scp forms and says be as harsh as you want to Be because first of all the scp wiki has rules about this now if you're harsh You can get banned. Don't be a dicks to people for being bad writers because being a bad writer is how you become a good writer But at the same time I also accept that there's a bit of a So where I'm looking for here desire for this kind of content people enjoy watching someone else get taken down Unfortunately, some people enjoy getting taken down. So we're going to do that right now item number scp 1903 What? Well, first of all 1903 is already taken and Secondly, are you one of those people who like starts looking for baby names before they're even dating anyone because This is a little bit presumptuous object class Euclid special containment procedures SCP 1903-1 is to be kept inside a five meter by five meter containment cell I see this all the fucking time and and this is the thing that bothers me about people who are designing the Containment cell itself. You are not a fucking architect and if you are I Still don't put that there and what is five meter by five meters mean Is it five meters long by five meters tall or five meters and also that's pretty fucking big Look Just do this when you have a containment cell say What is this a humanoid containment cell? Yeah, okay? Yeah, no personal permitted and making contact Bah, yeah, this is gonna be a humanoid containment cell So just fucking say that you can skip on saying it's five meters by five meters by five meters It's one door with mechanical controls ba ba ba ba ba for entering and exiting the cell One door for entering and exiting the cell. Is there Another reason to use a door. No windows are permitted. Oh, wow. No windows It's gonna be in the middle of a fucking Black site first of all if you wanted to have windows they could probably have window fuck these people Yet, you're not an architect. So stop trying to be one. Just say SCP 1903-1 1903 SCP 1903-1 is to be kept inside a humanoid containment cell there. You're fucking done No personnel and I'm in a contact between 2100 no 700 local time except as approval for researchers That's a bit of a high-level Requirement, but I will go with it for now because I don't know what your anomaly is Monitoring was allowed to be stationed inside the cell. I must be turned off by 2100 So there's a lot of this 2100 to 700 local time. So that's probably important So the center of another cell of 10 meters by 10 meters 10 again and okay, here's your problem if your cell is Six meters by five meters by we're gonna pretend like you actually put a third Did thing in here and by two meters three meters? We'll call it three meters because that's tall enough for someone to stand in two meters, maybe Maybe enough for someone to stand it, but you want to give it a little bit more than that Architects god damn it. You got me thinking about it now. You're stupid Five meters by five meters by six meters Is that going to cause a containment breach because if not you don't need to define the actual fucking dimensions of the room Secondary cells be occupied about one D class at all times in the event of SCP 1903 dex once death the D-class personnel occupied the secondary cells the designated SPC 1903 You're the fucking reason why we have shark punching center articles God damn you fucking piece of shit and proper containment. She's just conju menses of 0700 the next morning fucking great That's good to know like that. There's nothing wrong with that so far to maintain the psychological well-being of 1903-1 Subjects provided with any entertainment here. She requests within reason. Okay the D-class occupying the secondary So we'll have his or her monthly termination to L fucking monthly termination, right? Let's stop for a second I want you to understand is anyone you're talking about D-class if the D-class are terminated at the end of every people are not cheap Let me put it that way human resources are fucking valuable Like this whole idea that we take prisoners and we put them into these dangerous Situations and then we kill them at the end of the month is fucking stupid the people who we use for things are gonna Eventually acquire skills that make them better at doing the things we want them to do Why would you fucking kill them? Here's the thing? Maybe there are anomalies that make sense for you to kill people every month But not every fucking anomaly and you don't need to make it a fucking exception for people because monthly terminations is a fucking stupid idea Let's just pretend like that doesn't exist It's a thing that people used early on in the site to try and be edgy and it doesn't fucking work in practice You cannot kill people every month and expect to not run out of fucking death row inmates In fact, that's probably not enough people. We don't have time for the D-class argument. There's not enough people for deep Description initial cat. What are you doing? That's not a description. That is Not describing anything initial capture of SCP-19 or 301 Fuck you fuck out data expunged. That's fantastic Ah The then current host of SCP-1903. Okay, so what the fuck is SCP-1903? You got to tell me in the first one or two sentences of the fucking description or else I don't fucking know and I don't fucking care. I don't care where it was acquired from you've already left me hanging about 20 times in the special containment procedures, which is fine. That is how an article is fucking structured But Okay, we're gonna move on we're gonna move on move on initial capture of Gotta describe it in the first sentence maybe to I Need to know what your anomaly is or else what the He asked to be arrested and was taken into custody. Oh So there's an opportunity where someone shows up at a fucking foundation site asks to be arrested or just like Nah Upon being placed in a holding cell the host closed his eyes for the prerequisite time and activated the effect. What effect? What effect? What effect? Due to the nature of the effect this state of the cell in which the host was confined and a simultaneous activation of SELF course simultaneous activation of another SCP that certainly makes sense a Containment breach of both SCP 1903 and SCP black box Because of course you couldn't find something else that would work for you Yeah, that's just this is gonna be fun We're only very nearly averted in time During the day is proud of this incident data expunged because of We're gonna talk about that Was monitored using the term the dark. Oh fuck you. No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no We're not gonna give your SCP a fancy name called the darkness the only time I want to hear the words of the darkness You fucking edgy piece of shit is when someone says that they're playing a concert nearby because I believe in a thing called love Is a good song. This is a shitty SCP SCP 1903 is an infectious anomalous effect. Oh Now you tell me what it is after you've introduced how it was acquired by the foundation Fan fucking tastic. Oh an SCP 1903-1 which prior to now we had no fucking clue what it was the anomalous effect takes place whenever the host closes his or her eyes for longer than two minutes and seven seconds or at 2116 local time and lasts until oh six five four regardless of activation time. Well, that was always respected with regarding the time's activation And they move the host over time zone lines Blah blah blah blah the anomalous effect as displayed by the host absorbs all fucking fucking finally This is the fucking thing. We're in the third paragraph of the description and up till now. I have no Fucking idea what your anomaly actually is Understand and this is a problem not just for writers not just for people in the SCP wiki but people in general Understand that I am not inside your brain I do not know the things that you know already So fucking tell me what you want to tell me don't tell me things about the thing you want to tell me Tell me the thing you want to tell me and then tell me the things about the thing The subject must be contained inside a room with four walls a floor and a ceiling in order for the anomalous effect to be observed Testing is indicated when the room ceiling is open to the outside the effect will no longer activate given the escape attempts by black box Of the path you couldn't give me a number you couldn't give me a number what Fucking use is this information? You could whoa? Is there going to be an uptick in Containment breaches if you tell me how many people have escaped during Containment of this anomaly while we tried to use an open ceiling the fucking oh my god these people I mean That's half the problem with expungements and black boxes half of the problem the other half the problem is sometimes even when they seem Like they're appropriate. They ruin your fucking story, but this is useless Censorship, this is the kind of censorship that makes no fucking sense. It's just thrown in there See this is the part that just gets to me you've deliberately designed your anomaly in such a way and in the situation surrounding that anomaly in such a way as to try and force a particular set of circumstances, but you Failed at it Incredibly badly because a few people have tried to escape what it and it says attempts so they didn't escape because of course they didn't escape because What did you do build a two meter tall wall around them with no ceiling? Just fucking build it ten ten minute. You want to be an architect? That's a fucking be an architect Design a fucking containment cell Build it with ten meter tall walls if you fucking want to no one's climbing out of that put him at the bottom of a fucking pit Do whatever the fuck you want just But no you want to design it so that the actual effect Still occurs so people can be scared of the darkness the effect of the anomalous event on SCP 1903-1 is twofold first the host loses consciousness Second the host dreams for the entire period. Can I ask you a question? How do you think sleep works? You think that like that's not two things. That's one thing. What? EKG monitoring of the heart is sufficient to determine this without any risk What risk you haven't defined a risk like I assume that there's some risk involved here. What is the risk? now for fuck's sake Infectious anomalous if it's you know what? Let's take a step back and I just realized something you talk about it as though. It's dangerous to other people You call it an infectious anomalous effect which occupies one host at a time What is it essentially if SCP 1903-1 dies it goes to whoever happens to be around is that where you're going with this? Is that the thing because if that's the case? Literally just put him in a fucking pit and put another d-class in a fucking pit next to him. Bam. You're fucking done anyway So he sleeps and he dreams Any monitoring a brain activity will extend the area of SCP. What? See you're starting to loot you're really starting to lose your thematic consistency here, but whatever The content in the dream varies from host host but not from dream to dream Those have been confirmed to encounter the same situations as in previous dreams with full knowledge of previous encounters Interviews with husband difficult to complete due to the effects of an SCP 1903 on the host However, the dreams have been described as nightmares by all hosts. I'm glad we're getting more edgy here. Thanks Come in environments. Oh really? Yeah, that's entirely that. All right. Well, that's that's where we're going Mm-hmm common environments encountered include halls of fire tar pits boats made entirely a flesh and bone much actually sounds pretty cool I'm gonna throw that out there host is subject to torture in all environments The form of which is dictated by whatever the host feels is most gruesome cool It's been shown that it is a really new form of torture Hey, have you heard about being put to the boats? Like it's their litter that's literally the worst form of torture I've ever heard of is being put in put it to the boat You can look at that yourself because I'm not fucking describing it But let me tell you that's right fucking now you have lost all thematic consistency here like you Your anomaly is dangerous because it causes darkness But also it causes terrible nightmares and sufferers You would hate to be a sufferer of this because if you were a sufferer of this you would have nightmares Fucking regular people have nightmares nightmares are not that big of a deal Well, these tortures are described as physical in nature the faces are invariable sleep psychological fucking blah Hoses play symptoms of sleep deprivation mild symptoms of stress induced trauma Who's we need to eat and drink less once it's playing more severe symptoms of stress induced trauma Little blah blah blah blah Huzzle refuse all food and drink I can back and forth on the corner of his or her bed while muttering I'm about to be fucking doing that because of fucking reading this draft This is my nightmare right here Let me just tell you that if I get infected by the darkness this reading this reading this would be my Ultimate form of torture Nothing less you know those boats that I was talking about earlier that you looked up more seriously disgusted by Fuck it fuck it. No, that's not the worst torture. The worst torture is reading your bullshit The infectious nature is only apparent when the rumor Occupied more than one person when tumors are just also just encountering the anomalous effect of the entire group present for the dream The original host what? Huzzle day when the effect ends as well all but one of the others present Oh, well then fucking don't do that. Just put him out and this is so stupid You have an effect that's gonna kill people every 20 days But just put him in a fucking pit put him in a fucking pit next to another guy in a fucking pit That's it. That is literally all you have to do to contain this It's not scary. There won't be any nightmares It's not scary then it won't cause any nightmares. Just put him in a fucking pit a deep pit That he cannot climb out of lower food to them Monitoring equipment most in the fucking course it will and because you have this super dangerous thing And you want to be able to like make it more dangerous Do the incident 1903 I'll monitor that automatic shot What these fucking people man like So they found out that monitoring it with cameras causes the fucking Effect to propagate outwards and their solution to that was to be like hey Let's have a big old room like look that number is like what two three digits. Maybe you're fucking up Actually, let's take a second and complain about your fucking black boxes again Because there's no fucking reason to cover up that number and you made it like three digits long you fucking fucking If Daylight savings time cost us one more set of researchers I swear I'll demo every technician who has ever worked on this project to D-class. Well, that's fucking great Take your technicians a bunch of people who are highly trained in a particular field and just I don't know Kill them. Fuck it. Dr. K Black box dash black box, you know, what that's I don't know. I don't think I've ever seen a black box dash black box So that's that at least Still fucking stupid because you can't know who dr. K is I like how he inserted it before the end of the fucking. Yeah, that's that's that's smart Let's insert my little I'm gonna demote everybody to D-class in the middle of the fucking article Finally in the event of the death of SCP 19 or 3-1 for any reason the almost fact automatically triggers with the nearest human becoming a host to the effect There's no known maximum range of this fact, but with the potential dangers of testing It's only been confirmed out to what the fuck did you do? Is another two or three digit kilometer number? well, oh Oh, oh, oh, this is what it was designed for this line This line right here Given that a single live recording of this object could be broadcast to and subsequently kill millions I recommend this object be upgraded to key your class immediately. Dr. C black box That's the whole that's your money line your money line is I've hey, I've written this thing. That's incredibly dangerous I've designed it I've literally designed it or you literally fucking designed your hole This whole fucking thing around that line as your punch your punch You want to hit the reader as hard as you can with and the whole world could be affected Man and then you undercut your own You undercut your own Thing by having the o5 at the end go nope not gonna worry about that fuck them Also Well, this is another thing that a lot of a lot of writers do that I don't understand Do you think that upgrading it from Euclid the key is going to change anything the containment procedures are still the fucking same There's nothing different about it. Just hey, we should consider this more dangerous You fucking know that it's dangerous. Just treat it dangerous like it's dangerous The key to and Euclid and safe thing is just like a guideline Doesn't tell you anything about what you your containment procedures are gonna do It's just like a basic thing like and if you're in charge of the project and you think it should be key Er, then the next time somebody comes in and they're like, oh Euclid and you're like, no man This should be key to and they're like, oh fuck That's not a Satisfactory conclusion to this you have designed your scp specifically to cause Like all this terrible shit to happen if you're watching it over cam by the way you only Introduce that problem like you only introduce it One paragraph no one paragraph before the end like I mean, we're not counting the little note. So Monitoring equipment. Yeah And literally you're you're you're set up is one sentence before at the end of the paragraph That just proceeded this one. Oh Man, you're so you thematic consistency is fucking off on this. You have a Stupid ass name Don't pick a number before you've actually got your scp going all your black boxes all of your data Expungements are fucking dumb and this idea has absolutely no hope of succeeding on the wiki like well, you know what no no No, I never want to say that that's not true. All I did the idea is not at fault The idea did nothing wrong here. There was all the writer the execution in this is weak You set up your payoff like four or five sentences before you actually Execute it and then expect the reader to be like. Oh, no No one gives a shit. You could have been developing that payoff the entire time this whole darkness Guys in fact, and there's too many details to really drive home your point It's not a bad idea. I guess like a guy darkness and Dreams and nightmares and bullshit is Possible to be made into something good But there is no fucking way that you're a good enough writer to make it work Like I'm just gonna be completely and totally honest with you that's what you wrote into me for in the first place and That's what you're gonna get. You are not good enough as a writer to make this work. I Struggle to think that you will ever be good enough to make this work That there is ever going to be a point in your career as a shitty writer That you will have the chops to be able to execute this in a way that doesn't make me cringe It's very rare that I say this but I'm willing to go out on a limb here and say That if you keep this up, you will never be successful on the wiki This article is full of stupid noob bullshit Everything I've told you and everything that I've thought and thought was and honestly You may not believe this but there's a lot of stuff that I wanted to say that I felt was too harsh Because I don't fucking whatever whatever Whoever the fuck wrote this is a piece of shit and I hope they die Because there is nothing At all Deeming about your article. There's nothing about this that tells me that you're prepared to create for the scp wiki Whose standards are fucking way higher than mine are and you know what? You know, I I originally wanted to do these without knowing The name of the people that sent them in but I can't fucking do it I absolutely can't fucking do it. I'm looking at this right now and I'm thinking I need to know Who this fuck stick is so that I can avoid them so that I can make sure Anytime I see your articles vomited up onto the wiki I can know to downvote Oh mother Hello, my name is Christopher Clayton Morris though you may know me better under the pseudonym Dr. Sumerian So yes, this was an article of mine from 2012. In fact, it's the only article I've ever posted the site that was in danger of deletion before I think I got rid of it myself I don't think it needed to be deleted off the site. I could be wrong. I might have just posted it and then disappeared I remember 2012 when I wrote this and oh god Was I a terrible writer? I mean I'm not much better now, but this is probably the best example I can give you the point that You know, you can't be a good writer until you're a bad writer until you know what you're doing wrong You can't improve on what you're doing wrong. That's what critique is supposed to be for the thing is I remember when I was writing this and I was writing it based on The same as any other new writer on the site I was reading the old articles the scp 173 is the s which doesn't start with a description It starts with a this is where it was recovered All of the old articles and thinking to myself I could do that Because they're short. They're simple. They're actually fairly poorly written So you're like fuck it. I can do that and you know what I kept that draft and This is the important part I want you to understand about harsh critique because while I actually do enjoy reading it sometimes I'll be like oh snap It's not fun for the people that are being subject to it Especially when they didn't ask to be subject to it when you genuinely want to improve And all someone can say is there is no improvement for you. You suck and you will always suck What are you going to do? That's going to be part of the point of this series Don't expect me to ever again say that You are a bad writer and you will never be able to make this work because that's not the point of this I'm going to be harsh. I'm going to be very harsh on anyone who sends in an article to be critiqued I'm going to be brutally honest. I'm going to be very mean It's just going to be a thing that we're going to do but always remember no matter how bad Your article is it's not a reflection on you It's not a reflection on your ability to improve in the future And it's not a reflection on what your next article is going to be Oh and also do you think you can take it because if you think you can take it Why don't you send me a draft and I'll see what I can do about ripping it completely apart There'll be an email in the description and probably flashing on your screen right now And if you enjoyed this, please be sure to leave a like subscribe if you're not subscribed already And probably most importantly of all share it with your friends people who enjoy this kind of content Don't be afraid. Just be like hey listen to this guy He's fucking weird. Thanks for listening