 na skia kuna vitu watu wale kunyua kuchanga misha asubuia I'd like to believe ni chaimoto, lakini siya kuchoma ulemi How do you like your tea, by the way? Black, no sugar, with milk, creamy Punyembe, ama upendi chaia katka psa At 1-2-5 on Facebook, at 1-2-5 on channel on Twitter, hashtag is one and the one is So, kwa mendi mweni I'm about to finish it off with mancrush So, tukot me pause a question on the Facebook You can just end up to sledge to coach Just make your way to our social media platforms that have dismissed or you can find them somewhere below your screen and answer the question we are asking today The topic is a little okay but I'd like to think they're all sensitive but today the topic is dating single moms Dating single moms do like you as we introduce our guests So, same How are you? Ita bidi miss my lucky Hi Hi That's better Thank you Thank you Thank you We are not used How are you? I'm very fine How are you? I'm very busy in the city Where's the governor? What's your name? I'm Calvin Sosano I'm a student of the University of Nairobi Yeah And I'm Calvin Sosano on all my social media pages So you can find me on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook By that name Yeah Asi wapimi atiyan impole Yes impole Shand of kwaongia Atararua Maybe we can have the gentleman over here Is this your first time? Yes, my first time Karibusana We go to Nogaga Hey, you're not even ready I'm good in Turkey Really? Yeah You're sure? Yeah Cause I'll give you a practical just in a few minutes What's your name? My name is Boniface Killons Mwok I'm a student at the University of Nairobi Taking journalism And practically more on radio production You're quite well dressed for radio Person who's in radio Am I atanyim kaga tu poal? Nivi letwa tuwa oni? Yeah, we'll do it and I'll tell you So we'll see you Let's see you All right, Karibusana Hi, queen Hi, my name is Mary Mary Ochan I'm amam I'm a life coach, mentor I'm a politician And basically I'm I'm awaiting my first graduation from the University of Nairobi First they are Motka Yes You're a superwoman Of course I see you What does being a life coach mean? Basically is seeing other girls My area of interest is young girls Seeing other girls grow through the challenges of life And being the better They need to be Bringing out the best in every woman Each capacity of their life I want to high five you But you're so far from me I'll high five you soon after this Karibusana Maybe I should start with Can I start with you, queen? Is that all right? Today we're talking about dating single moms Have Maybe I should ask Where is the person who made you a mom? Are you still together? No, no, no You're not together Do you find it hard to meet other people See other people when you have a baby Okay, you see being a mother Is kind of an additional responsibility And it opens your thinking Your mind in every aspect of life And that doesn't limit you From continuing with your life Because one person Maybe messed up your life Or maybe one person Walked out of your life And it's actually a A good thing that we women Choose to prioritize And take responsibility Of every single child we bear Because most of these young moms If I have to say Speaking on behalf of other young moms Most of them it's not their wish To have their children alone It's the failure of these men Who get them pregnant Because I didn't get myself pregnant You didn't have pregnant thoughts Somebody got me pregnant Somebody got that girl outside They are pregnant And they are not responsible Have to celebrate these moms Because they took up the responsibility Of taking care of these children And making them the persons they want to be So today let's also start By celebrating moms Yes And I like that Can we just take a moment To celebrate single moms Out there here we celebrate you But nuskeve yama kuja Anakuja from a perspective That man ze wa naume But I disagree with that for some How can you say that Someone got you It was you that I wish There was a decision It meant that I want to be pregnant Or not You had that decision It can't have been Oops It can't have been An oops type of situation No it can't be a mistake She decided I want to be pregnant She in that choice of making I'm not going to be pregnant Yes or no So whether it comes Yaja yaboke Let me disrupt him Please A little bit You see when you say You make decision I think from the way you're speaking You're kind of naive You're not exposed And you really don't know What real life issues is I guess maybe you might be a virgin So you really don't know What consent is Because not all women Who get pregnant Have consent to this So you can't blame Shots have been fired So you can't blame Mums for taking response Some of them were not consensual Actually three-quarters of them Were not consensual I'm really glad you brought that up Because there are several ways A mum can be a single mum You know Either a kuna member Anani a kamruka A makuna member Bona ke kafa You know Or sometimes they tell you about And it's the responsibility of me As a person As a human being To know that the Life I'm carrying my stomach Needs another chance So most men Boys Let me call them boys Because men don't do that Most boys Have opted For immaturity To tell girls When they get pregnant To abort And these boys are in the age of Let's say 15 And 27 Most of them don't take responsibility Of impregnating girls And they live girls With no other options Of either aborting Or they dump them Or few responsible mums Like me Will take up the challenge And take care of this life And bring it forth And even take care of these children I think I agree with To some extent There are some men That do not want to take responsibility That they get a lady pregnant And jump out of the relationship Or they tell the lady to abort the kid I don't think it's right To some extent And This thing Sometimes it's a mistake But also I have to blame the ladies too Because You went to the relationship Before going into a relationship You should be sure It's not something you jump into And start sleeping with them It's not something It's something you should first know the guy So very well Before starting dating him Because some guys But I know Some guys change With time As long as Asha ku parabol He'll just Jump out of the relationship And I support I also support you In the idea of celebrating single women They really work hard They're very courageous They're very courageous They've taken the responsibility Of a father And a mother A responsibility Of a father And a mum I have a question for you Would you date a lady If you knew she was a single mum A lady if I knew she was single Are you old? Are you old? You wouldn't be afraid Of the responsibility that comes with loving her child I want to be I want to be afraid You know It's a step As long as There's love at least Kama ni shampenda Kama ni mempenda It will be good As long as I nampenda I'll take the responsibility All right So let's do this Let's get into the slides right now So we can ask a couple of questions We've been thinking of asking you At WhiteFive on Facebook At WhiteFive on Channel Twitter Hashtag is Why in the morning So dating single mums Dating single mums What is the stigma around single mums As in unawabeba aje That's a very important question What is the stigma around single mums Unawabeba aje Can I give you an example I had a conversation with a young gentleman Not too long ago And he told me According to him He feels single mums are very They have Wakonamu zigo Ye ako punguzamu zigo initiative As in When you date a single mum That means already you have pressures for Oh, she has a child Oh Aki kwa na tuivi ananzakutuma pampas To doggo Is that the kind of thing that you feel I know Going into Jumping into a relationship Of dating a single woman Is not like any other relationship A single one who has a child Yeah, who has a child Seek it to Seek it to Kamaisu relationship Zingine Not something you just Wake up one day and say I'm going to date a single lady today It's something you should be prepared for As long as you're going to date a single lady That as a As a kid or A kid You should be Ready for the responsibility Yeah It's not something easy But you should It's your own decision Need decision on what to make Mwanyem Mwanyem Sei ati kwa piya pressure Jukuna some people They just Sei they wanna date single ladies Who have kids When they get into the relationship Atanza sasakuana Like it's a burden to him Yeah The family starts Becoming a burden to him The kids Anona ai Awa tuto siwa angu They love that She He should have Gotten from the Lady herself He sharing with the kids Ah, yeah That should be a problem Like a wuna Spend more time namdoi Than me There are instances of jealousy In that In that relationship I don't know how to help you now Then a woman who is nini Who is single was a kid The first priority of this lady Will always be Our kids No Jew Our kids will always come first You are sure you are kids You're comfortable with that Yeah So you should be ready I will take care of her I will take care of her Okay There is no right or wrong answer here Yeah What is your budget? What do you imagine when you Think of dating a single mom? Dating a single mom Is something that you need to decide first It's not something simple That you will just get in champion Okay, before you continue Why don't we give Respects to all women Whether they are single mothers or not But we need to make sure Of course we do And We need to make sure We need to make sure We need to make sure We need to make sure We need to make sure We need to make sure We need to make sure We need to make sure Of course we do Myself I have been raised by a single mom Since Unfortunately my father died And for me I take her like a father And a mother at one time Because all that I know It's because of her The father I am At the university Everything she has done it by herself Now if you talk of dating Dating someone like that It will be very hard for you Honesty it will be very hard Because first thing ma'am Pride trip We will attend And at work as a single mother Me, me, my sister And my young brother Kwanzaa make sure we are okay with everything You have created maybe dating I have seen some men try dating But she has never Yeah So it's not something simple Would you allow Let's Give you a girlfriend Her name is Stacy You've been seeing Stacy Off and on now for a while Then I don't know For whatever reason That happened Maybe you guys broke up Oku jok pata badai Kumbu okunam toto Are you going to go back Stacy Because you know Now you have a child And you have to live And love each other For the rest of your lives Amma uta kubale tuia liisha That's just not going to happen For you guys And be part of the child's life What do you do Unfortunately I will not go back Yeah So you are now giving a child Another opportunity To be raised by a single mother But it was not mine No it's yours Oh it's mine It's mine I'll take you of it 100% it I'm going to give it to my father I'll do Kwele Yeah Now where's the rudisha kichoga No no no I can't I can't So far I've seen How how how raising Ok let me give you a quick tutorial Utash Kiliapa katkat kama pasta Allah for semaje Semaje Yeah Yeah We will continue just like that So you are talking of me Raising my own child That's what I will do Obvious I will do With all my heart With everything Because I did it myself I will seek for nwa na mtumugini Yeah I will take ya Because I have seen it How it takes to kulea mtutu Seek itumu Seek itu Raisi Oh maone ape See I have seen my mother struggle with us To kutulea Kwele Of course When he first born Yes I want to imagine So what's the age of the last one in your family Is Uli pataa kimwe No He was born when I was there He is in class 7 I am not sure the age please Yes ok Kwe Tell me what you think From the conversations I have just had here But I don't know Do you think there is truth to it No Tell me First let me start by the way Single mums have been victimized In a cultural context When you go to the villages You'll hear people saying For example When I was expecting People were praying People who really even don't know about The father of the child and my way about That it should be a girl Because if it's a son Nobody will want to marry me Ah ya Ati Yes those are the kind of stereotypes people have If it's a son Maybe the next man Who will want to marry me Will have issues of inheritance and all that issues And everybody including maybe my mum Maybe one of her prayer was that I give birth to a girl Personally I didn't choose I was like whatever come And even have both girls and boys name When I was expecting Few days to my delivery So there is a way society has set in their mind That it's wrong for a woman To give birth to a son out of wedlock And infact we've been further criminalized As seen as When you are a girl You are not married And you are pregnant Kupsa You are just loose You are loose Talking to all the men Infact even churches can excommunicate you And call you to explain I was called To explain why Are you serious You give me migos bombs Aww Now mingine Part two are in conjunction Where was he Was he also being called to explain No no no Now in the picture Of course we don't come from the same religious background So for my church It was actually wrong That I got a child out of wedlock And that raises the question Should we keep on pushing young girls Who get pregnant out of wedlock to abortions Because these stereotypes Is the reason why we have many infacts being killed There is a problem that need to be addressed First the way people think Let them change It's not wrong for a girl to be pregnant It's a blessing Even the Bible says A child is a blessing And these children For a fact My daughter is a blessing to me Because it's the reason for me to live It's the reason for me to wake up every morning To go and get some food on the table It's the reason for me to work and get money For her school fee And her brightness Her bright face And everything about her The beauty and everything It's the reason why I work every time To ensure she's well Her well-being is well taken care of So the way people stereotype these young mothers Is not really right And worst of it all when it comes They have been dating before At one point When I was dating There was that question Of you could feel it That this guy is not really Welcoming the child in this relationship And they can tell Young moms outside there If you are dating somebody First tell him About who you are Surprised Surprised Kwa willi I will not sleep over I will not sleep I tell you in advance I am a mam To a beautiful girl So at no point Will I ever neglect my child Because of the so-called love My first love is my daughter Take it or leave it What I said it What I said If you want to date a single mam You should prepare Because he will never consider you Before a kid A kid will always be a first priority So you should first get that into your head Before jumping into a relationship Of dating a single mam And also Like she said It's people's mentality Africans If you give birth to a son And you will be getting married To a certain community It's like It's like they don't want guys Because the guy is in herit property So for instance I get My mam is married with me She had me when She had me before getting my dad So when she gets married to my dad The family of my dad's place Will have a very difficult time accepting me It's very difficult And also To I have some little experience of a guy Who A certain man Got married to a certain single woman Who had a son Now we mbaaba Akam sumesha vizuri at the university Akafani akam aliza Akam aliza shule Akapati akazi Then after getting a job After getting a job Instead of helping the The father who raised him He went back to look for his real dad He went back to help his real dad Instead of the father that raised him So that's also That's some of the instances Discouraging people want to date young women Imagine she went back to look for his real dad His biological dad After the other one raised him and Educated him all those sort of things Aliru dia kasi Anza kusedia the biological dad And living Abandoning the father who raised him So that's Some of the things Discouraging us as men Of dating single women What was that? Honesty, what's wrong with A child going to help It's the same way you can Wait, why can't you abandon someone Who raised you? Did he abandon the family? Yeah He abandoned the father Who took care of him From childhood Aka kwa mubwa Aka mueduket Aka pata job He abandoned the man Went to the biological father I think what you are calling abandoning You expected this child Because Amelie Mishwa Anafa kuchukua All his attention To directs to the family That raised him But it's not wrong It mibile tu monez Aji tole You want to help every other person In the community No He abandoned He didn't help his Hali acha biological father But the father who raised him The father who raised him Allu ii Ali kwa na sema kilatemu Ali kwa na Ame acho inpavati Amendo kusili Ali acho inpavati Ali acho alimuata Then what did he use To raise this child If he was poor Let's be genuine In this conversation Mada manafkiri akona zingine Za zamviringo No, you know There's something Some things in life That you cannot You cannot run from Ane za kum puwa Puwa this time Maybe he was rich And some occasions Came and he became poor Was in your life So he became poor And no man Um totali muabandon Everyday he prayed Kwa My son I raised him Ali nudi kwa biological Fad Kwaza mostly These guys Awa ma boy Kwazu rudi kutafita ma baba Ma baba wao biological I'd like to Owa na rudi Kutafita baba wao I'd like to imagine You are a kwa to Individual And when you are to come to Ali jio ne ae rudi And also I studied I studied human behaviors Part of my bachelor's And if this child went back To look for his biological father That shows there is something That was missing Between this Uyubaba ke mlezi Ha kwanan patiya There is some expectation He grew up with Or maybe somebody mentioned To him That this is not your biological father And that kept on Growing in his mind To a point he was like If I get myself together I will look for my dad And I'll show him the love That I should give this person Who don't appreciate me As a son There is a lot of factors That pull that together For some I tell you to one day wake up And maybe abandon As you want to put it Want to abandon The babamlezi To go for babamzaz There are many other factors I would like to Shkileyo venea expectation I love when you leave Do single moms Have more expectations Than ladies who are not single moms So, for example If Ule kuna date young Who does not have a child Kushidake maybe Takwani nyele Om tumefea Niniwapi But the single mom You know has real life situation She needs to find food for her child And all these things Do you think I'm not doing this out of malice It's just a question That I am posing to my people Okay If you're going to date a single woman She doesn't need your money I'm not used to raising her kids in your own way She's used to raising her family I'm not used to living without you She can do without you So, the best thing you can give to a single lady If you love her is your time That's the best I like that You can surprise her with gifts Pesahu nesambe But she shares money I'm not used to living without her And she's used to it So you can surprise her with gifts But the best thing you can give her is your time What do you think? Do you think onea kuja sana Onea tukatemi? At one point I agree with them At one point I disagree Tell me why you disagree He's talking of Ah, ame kwa a kijisimemi ame mune Probably aliyatwa Sindiwa, aliyatwa nom toto Now the society expects that Jumiyatwa proves that you can make it without this man So, ille pretensiwata yo kere And nyanaya ka See it because she wants to Adra kuknu to the society And this man imu nyaliyatwa And actually, I can make it without her I can make it without her So see it here Anazerebu kureis Like from Danny Nile sinikizu ya You are a single mother Show us how you can make it alone So in a way Mm-hmm Aja jike ame mune Like I want to Mm-hmm So the fact of Anaitaji Pesahu Anaitaji Pesahu My friend Manam gai zikabu Okay So kusema Iaitaji Pesahu I didn't say Iaitaji Pesahu I said Pesahu Is not the core thing In the relationship Apo Bikoza mezoa kusabi Bilabewewa But she needs money She needs your support And money is part of your support To the lady So mani naeni kumpalsari Although ni me semasi amast You are not going into the relationship Because the lady needs your money She doesn't need it She's not sitting waiting for a bank She's looking for a partner If Okay Thank you for writing me I want to first agree with the gentleman But His school of thought is crazy First everybody have a purpose for life Whether you are a single You are a mum Or you are not There is a reason for you to wake up every day There is nothing we want to prove to people For taking care of our children It's just living normal life Chasing your dreams I am in school I'm taking care of my daughter What am I trying to prove to society? And society now will come and tell you Sasa we una ringa una kamsana Just because you think you have a child then So now you don't need a man You've been empowered way too much Sade I don't completely agree with that Everybody since you were born You had a purpose to live That's why you went to school That's why he's in the university That's why I'm schooling If at all I wanted to prove the society I can survive without a man I could be a billionaire businesswoman somewhere And not schooling So that is quite crazy That we are trying to prove up Women don't try to prove points By taking care of their children It's not proving anything The fact that we took responsibility Of bringing these children to the world And making sure they had something to put in their mouth Doesn't mean that we are trying to prove something For the responsibility of that person Who got this woman pregnant That's crazy That's immature That's naive Let's wake up man I like that you know what you want And I can assure you We have no other choice Because there are guys who like ladies Who don't know what they want So that they can take them But they don't know what they want And many girls have been taken advantage of Look at these young mums Who are taking care of three, four girls Children For example, and they are still single What's happened I'm speaking from experience In my line of duty In Waswa I have interacted with many mums Even in the society I've interacted with young mums And most of their first children Possibly people will say it was a mistake And these young women are very vulnerable Sometimes they even lose hope And they're looking for somebody to give them hope And they stand victims To small lives from men Another man will come and lie to them You know what, I love I want to take you in with your child And all that And they give in to this guy The moment they get pregnant Again, it repeats The person runs away tells him I can't I didn't want a child So she ends up with a second child Another burden Another responsibility on her So it's kind of It's also time for young girls to wake up Being a single mum Is not being desperate If at all God gave you a gift of a child Don't look for other gifts Tafadali, stick to that one Accomplish your dreams first Was still at kuna meeting after this Say, end your child lady Ya, minta kwa nikiandika minutes Thanks Alright, so let us read from our party people At Y254 Facebook At Y254 China Auditor Hashtag Is wainzimu On kwaishimuende The question is Would you date a single mum, Kings? Would you? We have a Andrew Giteymo Haa Where where Sasa okay Where where Where Uunonake yamiandika bani mimi Tu nimeji editu kwa machu Uunonake andromesema Okay Inosent kinaia Expect rejection Kus all she will have for you Is all men are dogs Okay, bach naski amuanzangwa Pa li kwa na date at some point Okay, we have George Flex Kaa single Bado pia utajwa Prince Anthony says Kaya ulesoti kolokt Misifa berbatu Of says 202 Odero locked I see Jasper Nyambati They are a no-go zone Siwezi Rudi etena I had one karibu Ani toi matumbu What did you do? Hi Linsley Misifa I say you first of all I think most men will be hit and run because kwa ground we have our own baby mamas Hey So in short Wow Okay All right Edgahansama Maruti says from Maruti Tund Selasim penderrege Love ni love apanatambuwa Alex Maluti says I have one I still think whether she can fit J.B.Africa says Wanomuwa jenu Most here will flee Ati most guys take flight once they know she's a single mom Lukena Joseph If you want to know a real character single mom just beat her kids Ati Wei I advice manapia Nani Miamkam kikula ni ni Charifet says Love them all J.Abdo says Look the other direction and run Linti music says Everything is to try Labda utakufia dem Hanam to chokumbendo shida So inatake manam Mambili amtu Kevin Medigo says single mom Love again Amarata Mars It's the best decision you can ever make Where RuPaul says Good morning watching Dame Hitchtown Pure commitment and love galore Prince Pius differences If at all it's it's real Hiokum kufia then go for her Don't let your heart be in pain because of her child Sometimes you never know your blessing lies True love doesn't have limits I believe If anything is meant to be then it definitely must happen You're so deep sir We have a Jane Gashie Love is blind Love her the way she is watching from Kakamega Nix Nix says Single mom loving again Shih It's just done by the best relationship and advice Louis Mojio says The issue is not whether she's single or not The baseline is that I'm in love with her and vice versa Who knows whether the kids or kids could be kipchoga of tomorrow Weh weh We do say now But if you you're not getting that don't snoko but I get you I see you I hear you and I definitely feel you I try to find from Facebook I try 254 channel on Twitter Hashtag is why in the morning Okay So our next slide happens to be What happens Okie Talk to me Can I just react to one of the comments you read Look at the other side and run Kwanzao mingina mesama Just I'm trying to ask the person who wrote that and maybe the supporters of that comment If I I suppose you're raised by both parents if your dad looked at the other side and ran and left you with your mom Would you still be speaking the same way? Let's be honest Let's be genuine Stop stereotyping young moms Single mom in specific He asks that if the man left the child and ran away in the other direction Now I have a question on you If you are not pregnant would you be on the same direction as now? If I was not pregnant I would still be chasing my dreams On single mothers or maisha kofi yendele Whatever the case at some age I need a child But that is after mejipanga umiwa na umiwa na maisha then Let me ask you young man Do you have sex? Well Well we refer for later time Thank you so very much for watching this Shodja mani uku uku kumewaka moral I told you with the hardest breakfast around Come on Niamini Kana mama yako at 25 on Facebook at 254 channel on Twitter Hashtag is white in the morning We have been blessed to have you We will have a repeat that is from tomorrow onwards through Friday Keshwani entrepreneur Tuesday you don't want to miss it Thank you Have a great day We wave kats