 What narcissists think when you leave them behind? Yes That is what we're going to be talking about in this video Because it's funny all of that time that you were with them. How did they treat you? They took you for granted It was like you didn't even matter to them It's like you never even existed You just weren't that important Yeah, they neglected you They insulted you they put you down They treated you with contempt as though You're worthless you're beneath their consideration You're just not important Meanwhile, they're like using you for everything you've got Maybe they were staying in your home eating your food spending your money Driving your car. Yeah, they were doing all of these things with you And at the same time treating you like you're nothing Like you don't even matter neglecting you like you're not important But yeah, as I said, it's funny because When you leave them behind You suddenly see a whole other side to them a side that you never thought you would see Yeah, you suddenly see that and in fact You could say that you start to see the real side of them How they really feel And think about you because I would tell that point they neglected you It was like you don't even exist. You didn't even matter You're just not even important to them. Yeah, that's who it seems At least up until that point When you finally decide to leave them behind Then things are very different as I've said before the narcissist loves you the most When you've got one foot out the door Until that point they will take you for granted. They will neglect you They will treat you like you're beneath them as long as you stick around As long as you're still there And they're comfortable with you they feel like they can treat you however they like As you're not going to go anywhere As long as it's like that they will continue to treat you in the same way They will continue taking you for granted. It's only when you decide to leave That's when you see a completely different side to them And it's not because they love you or they care about you They're actually going to miss you or anything like that It's got nothing to do with that at all It's just their supply That feeling of power that they got from controlling you From manipulating and deceiving you and not only that it's the benefits of conveniences that you were providing to them Of course, they don't want to miss out on that If you gave them a place to stay you give them money So of course, they don't like that When they think that you are going to leave them behind, but I've been to all that point Yeah, they just took you for granted They didn't appreciate you. You were always there trying to make them happy Trying to get them to notice you Trying to just be there for them most of the time it's like they didn't even want to know They didn't even care, but it was all an act because you see how much they care when you walk away But even then it's not that they care about you They only care about themselves They care about their supply They care about the benefits and conveniences that they were getting from you That's what they care about Other than that Quite clearly they don't really care. I mean they never cared about your feelings Your once desires or needs They clearly never cared about that, but what they will care about Is when they feel like their pet is escaping When they feel like their source of supply is getting away and they're missing out on All of these things that they feel entitled to from you and not only that but of course They are very envious and jealous So the last thing they want is to see you moving on without them with all of your qualities abilities energy achievements enthusiasm All of these things still intact to where You could just pick up Where you left off You can just move on and continue just carrying on and being successful without them Now that is the last thing they want to see if you're going to go off without them They want you to go down They don't want you to maintain the same level or rate of success and development They want to watch your life gradually deteriorate They don't want you to be good for anyone else after They are gone After they have left your life That is not what they want at all They don't want you to live a satisfying Independent existence outside of them. That is the last thing that they want to see They want you to remain tied to them Dependent on them even if it's at the very least just as a source of validation They want to trauma bond you They don't want you to be free Because remember all they care about is themselves. It's all about their emotions They need that regulation And it's all about what they're going to get from you Your attention your validation your money and resources That's what they're concerned with they don't care about anything else They're not concerned about you And that's how the entire time that you were with them They just completely neglected you They didn't even care it's like you weren't even there You just didn't even matter to them But believe it or not When you've got one foot out the door, that's when the narcissist loves you the most, but then It's not that they love you It's that they fear Losing their supply Losing the benefits and confidences that they were getting from you and it's the envy and jealousy Of them thinking of you moving on without them and living a fulfilling life Just with the things that you have worked for the things that you have earned that they feel entitled to Because their minds are unfair Drop the phone Again, their minds are unfair They don't care if you worked for it if you had it even before the relationship none of that matters to them and Their minds if they want something it should be theirs Because of their arrogance their entitlement So when you leave them behind They play the victim Everything is so unfair to them and And They just don't want to let you go They want to try and pull you back into it they want to bring you back in to the dysfunction and They want to continue to extract supply and resources from you Because despite how they treated you that entire time They neglected and abused you They mistreated you all of that time and On top of that They just used you for money a place to stay All of these things that you were providing to them at the entire time They likely never even reciprocated anything back to you despite all of that At the end of it, they're still not satisfied It's still not enough for them now. That's why in the end When you leave them behind You will see that they're still there with their hands out Expecting something from you Even after everything you did for them the entire time I don't know many of you, you know exactly what I'm talking about You could have been with them for years decades All of that time they never did anything for you You took care of them. You gave them a home You made sure they always had food on the table. You worked every day You took care of the children. You took care of the house You did all of these things. You gave them money You bought them clothes and even at the end of that They still played the victim. They still feel like it's unfair They still feel like they've been treated unjustly so they've still got their hands out and Yeah, many of them they will try to File for alimony or child support They'll try to take everything that you worked for your house your car They'll even try to take the children away from you Even though you are the one who was paying the bills You were the one who was taking care of them without your support Who knows how the children would have even have survived and yet they're the ones taking them away from you They're taking everything away from you and it's like What about everything that I did for you that entire time all of that time that I wasted All of that money that I spent All of those things that I did for you Things that I would never know what you do for anyone But I only did it because you made me believe that you would reciprocate eventually Yeah, you may think about that When up again, they still have this entitlement feeling like you owe them When it's like They're the ones who owe you from years Or decades of you taking care of them Doing everything you could To make their lives better while the entire time It was having a negative impact on your life and yet they're the ones who feel like it's unfair After everything you had to go through and it's like as I've said before they come in with pretty much Nothing if anything and then they leave with a lot more than what they came in with And if that isn't enough even though they leave with a lot more than what they came in with After they deceived you they cheated they lied they stole from you Even then they're still not happy. They're still not satisfied They're still expecting more as for the victim it's like all of these years Everything that you gave to them And you've just kind of like giving up you're not even expecting any of that back All you're hoping for is that you don't have to give them anymore And you can't even hope for that Because they're still coming after you they're still trying to take even more And it just never ends This is how you know who the narcissist is Because they're the ones who are always coming after you they're draining you And you just got to look back like just look at how much you've lost All of your time your energy your resources And look at how much they've gained from you They gained everything from you You gained nothing from them And yet they're the ones coming to you expecting you to live up to their unrealistic expectations and demands When it's like who are you before you come and you criticize and devalue me And you hold me up to these unrealistic demands and expectations What have you ever done for me? Other than make my life an inconvenience And hold me back in my life And prevent me from achieving my goals and dreams And you just abused and devalued me the entire time Made me believe that I'm not good enough for anything And yet you're the one expecting things from me When it's like what have you ever done Even besides this relationship Your entire life What have you ever done that warrants this type of treatment These privileges What have you ever done in your entire life to even deserve that But of course if you ask them It just comes back to this delusion This grandiosity Where it's like They just think they deserve it just because they exist Never mind that they never did anything for you They really don't care they don't even see things that way I've said it before they're not even in reality like the rest of us They're in some kind of delusion inside their heads Where if they want something They want a particular type of treatment from you They just think that they should just have it Just because they want it And it's like never mind That they mistreated you that entire time They took you for granted They're so disconnected from themselves And their own emotions To the point where they could just do all of these things to you And it's like the entire time that they're abusing you And they're neglecting you as well They're overlooking you and underestimating you at the same time And validating you while they're taking everything you've got At the same time that they're doing all of that And then by the end of it They're still expecting more from you And I said they don't have to live up to anything They don't have to reciprocate anything back to you I mean even if you just forget about everything you did for them Just look at the mistreatment, the abuse Just forget about everything you did for them Even then they should be compensating for that How they impacted your mental and emotional health They negatively affected you And it really is just If you just imagine the most craziest, insane, delusional Messed up person that you possibly can That's always them To the point where they can just abuse you for years Drain you of everything you've got until there's practically nothing left And at the end they still think that you want them They still expect you to see it as a privilege To be around them And it's like Be around what? This monster Who has abused me for years Kept me down in my life Taken everything I've got Giving me nothing back in return but abuse Put downs in validation Among so many other Abusive behaviors and manipulation tactics Despite all of that, they're so delusional So disconnected from themselves That they think that they're superior to you And that you should see it as a privilege to be around them It's like they can't see that it's actually the other way around And the entire time they've been benefiting from you They've been boosting themselves up at your expense But what have you ever gained from being around them? Nothing All it's done is just ruined you You were so much better off before you even met them But they gained so much from being around you And yet they have the arrogance, the audacity To spin it around and see it in that way It's really just insane How they can think that way, it really is You know what a narcissist is? It's just really just the most opposite Backward delusional insecure person To the point where they just, they hate themselves so much And they know that they're absolute garbage That they're just these worthless people to be around That all they can possibly do to survive emotionally Is to twist everything in their little screwed up minds To where it's like bear the ones with all of the value You need them Even though they've never actually done anything They've never contributed anything of value to you or anyone else All they ever do is just cheat, lie, manipulate, steal, deceive Future fake, that's all that they really do And unfortunately some of us, we've become victims We fall prey to their manipulation And in their minds that's a success That means ah they got you, it worked So that means they're special, they're desirable Why? Because you tricked someone You conned them So now that means that you're special Because you presented a facade And you managed to fool someone That doesn't mean that you're special, that just means that You're so much of a loser in life That you have to manipulate, fool, trick and deceive people To get your needs met That's what that means That you're that much of a piece of shit of a human being If you could even recall that That you have to act dishonestly, you have to lie You have to be fake To even get anywhere in life That's what that means Because I like the rest of us on here who are watching this video right now We didn't have to do any of that We presented ourselves authentically We didn't hide anything We didn't try to trick or deceive them We never even think in that way And of course that's how they gained the upper hand over us That's how they exploited us And yet they see it as though where the stupid ones were inferior No it's the other way around Because we don't have to be fake We can just be ourselves You have to be fake You have to put on an act And not only that as I've said before Everything they do Everything is manipulation Everything There's nothing they don't say or do That isn't manipulation That isn't intended to manipulate your emotions It's making you think, feel, act or behave in a certain way Everything they do is manipulation They are never behaving authentically Because they have no authentic self So understand that Everything Yes the entire thing And you could have been with them for years, decades Every interaction, every engagement Every single thing they did Everything they said It was all manipulation Everything It was all intended to elicit a certain type of reaction from you In a way that would be considered unfair And just underhand deceptive To where it's intended to gain advantage over you Everything they do Like I said that's what it means to be the lowest Of the low in society To where you have to be like that Just to survive You have to wear a mask To conceal who you really are Because you already know if anyone knew who you are They would run a mile So you have to present this facade and try to be something you're not And you know the crazy thing is Like we wonder why they hate us so much That's why Because we don't have to do that We could just be ourselves I could just get on here and do a live video I don't have to try to be something I'm not I'm just sitting here in my room Laying on my bed And my joggers and a t-shirt Sittin' with some orange juice Not trying to manipulate or deceive anyone I'm not even really thinking about how So much how people are going to react to this Or If it's going to give me some advantage over anyone Or anything like that I don't know if I even have the ability to do that I mean For me it's more I mean I barely even think before I even speak Everything just runs right off my tongue I just say whatever I'm thinking in the moment Whatever makes sense to me And I hope that it makes sense to you as well That you can relate I guess what I'm trying to do I'm trying to Help you to differentiate Between how we are and how they are Because I know I've seen it in my experiences And from what I've researched It's not like that for them Everything they do is manipulation Whatever they're presenting to you On the outside Know that there is Something else going on in their minds A hidden agenda Of where the thinking of how can they get Went over on you Normal people like us We don't even have the ability to do that We just we can't even do it We can only be ourselves And I think It's kind of like for us everything is more It's more like outwards Everything is more like at the forefront Of our minds So we can't really conceal or hide it With the narcissist I would suppose that everything just goes Much deeper, further back More concealed It's where you just don't even see it It's like you don't even know that it's there It's like they're presenting this facade to you And the less you've seen the mask come off before You just don't even realise that there is This whole other side to them You don't even realise it Well for us It's like we wear our heart on our sleeves Who we are, that's just who we are It's like what you see is what you get But with these narcissists It's like you don't know What they might be capable of But that's just it, I mean You put a narcissist In the right type of situation There's no telling what they might do This is what separates us From these types of people If they think that they can get away with something If they think that they can come in And they can abuse someone They can harm them They can cause destruction Ruins someone's life Harm their health Their future Yeah, if they think they can come in And do that and get away with it Without being seen Maintaining a code of silence Or maybe whoever witnesses it They're on the narcissist side If they think they can do that And get away with it They're gonna do it They're gonna do it This is what separates us Because I don't know about you But I've never been that type of person An opportunist I mean of course Along my travels I have seen If we want to talk about vulnerable people I've seen many of them I have seen People with no arms and no legs No family, no support I've seen children on the streets In the jungle with no food And all they got right there is me And I have a decision right there If I want to give them food If I want to give them money Whether I do or not No one's gonna know Every time I did the right thing If I could give people what they needed I did And I never had to go around and brag about it It's just enough for me Knowing that I did the right thing Knowing that I made a pause The difference in people's lives What would a narcissist do In that type of situation I wonder Around people who are suffering People with no arms or no legs No support To let the narcissist Could just come along And attack them Bully them Intimidate them Steal from them No one would ever know Or nothing could even be done We all know what they would do They would do whatever they think They can get away with There's nothing stopping them If they feel like No one's gonna find out Or even if people find out They know they're gonna get away with it They're gonna do it They are going to do it They're not like us They don't have a conscience They do not have a conscience They do not have that chip In their heads Like we have Affect of empathy You know that thing That stops you Even when you're hurt You're irritated You might be having a bad day Just wanna scream at someone To see someone quiet Someone who won't show back to you Just wanna yell at them Just give them a piece of your mind You know that thing That stops you from doing that They don't have that If they're having a bad day You will know And if they see an opportunity to Vent To let off some steam To really Bust someone down When no one's looking No one's around No one cares No one's gonna do anything They know they're gonna get away with it They are going to do that They are going to do it They're just not even real human beings They're really not And this is really what reminds me What helps me to differentiate between us It's like when I look back At my experiences My travels All of those times I was there for people In the middle of nowhere In the jungle And at the time I I remember I used to think Of course at the same time I'm doing these videos And I'm thinking gone What if I wasn't here Right now For this person Who needs me What if it was someone else Like someone who mistreated me The people who abused me What if it was them When they were interacting With these vulnerable people Who knows what would happen I'm just thinking to myself It's like you don't even know When you're coming at me like that You're coming to me And you're seeking my favour My support If it was someone else You've just given them the opportunity To completely wreck you To destroy you Because you're coming to someone And you have no support There's no one who's going to listen to you No one who's going to believe you So many times I just look back and I think Thank God in this moment You are with me You are in safe hands You are with someone who Somehow, despite everything I've been through Still cares Thank God for that Because a lot of people in this world I've seen so many things I've seen so many situations Where it's like People know they're going to get away with something And they will just go and do it They will just do it Without a care So many people in this world They are capable of anything Some of you have to be very careful Because here's the thing You think you've got people Who are on your side Who are loyal to you And they're defending you You could be very wrong You could be very wrong about that You think maybe Someone did something bad to you So then You have this loyal family member Or friends And They want to go out on your behalf Do this person in for you Take them down And you think that's Someone who's on your side Someone who will go out And harm someone Never mind If it's someone who Did something unfair to you or not We're still talking about Someone going out there And harming someone Should that really be Someone you have in your life Because what if They feel like you've done Something wrong to them Then they're going to come at you When you've seen people do things And I mean You know really bad things To other people Whether it's on your behalf Or even if it's something like they They cheated on someone To get with you Of course at some point They're just going to end up Cheating on you to get with someone else Just like someone is Talking About someone behind their back To you You don't think that at some point They're going to do the same thing to you And they're going to talk To someone else About you behind your back Because look at it They've already revealed to you That they're capable of doing that Just like If someone went And stole from someone And then whatever it is They went and shared that with you You don't think that maybe At some point in the future They might steal from you as well After they've already revealed That they are capable of doing that These are all key things To pay attention to They really are Because it reveals a lot Of a person's moral character It doesn't matter if it's In your favor or not We need to be around people who Have fixed Unwavering Values and beliefs Not something where it's like Oh yeah, this is wrong But if I do it to this person It's okay If I do it for you Then it's okay No, that's not good enough Because then What if it comes back And it gets you At some point in the future Because they've just revealed You're around a dangerous person Who has the potential To do that to you as well What's stopping them They've managed to justify Doing it to someone else Why can't they justify Doing it to you This is what we have to think about I'm sure many of you You've seen this If you haven't seen it There may be a matter of time Until you do When you first met That arse-assist Remember all of the things They were saying about their ex All of the things they said That were wrong with them It's like, oh, they're so bad They're crazy Maybe they're stalkers They're obsessed Or they were abusive Now, after you've spent Some time with the arse-assist What do you think about Their stories about their ex Does that seem Still so believable to you Because what you will Find towards the end Of the relationship It's like everything They were saying about their ex Now they're saying that About you Now they're smearing your name And this is what they do They just go around Doing the same thing Whenever they did To someone before you Soon enough Now they're doing that to you And then it's like If you think you're the only one In time they're doing it To someone else as well Because they've already justified it At least once They've already said that it's okay So if it's okay For someone before you Why is it not okay For them to do it to you That's why they do it to you And if they can justify Doing it to you They can justify Doing it to someone else This is why it never ends It just goes on and on They do it to everyone And it never stops The cycle just continues So what do they think? When you leave them behind Well They're just so disconnected From themselves They're more just focused on you And they're never really satisfied With anything you do It's never enough So it's always just Still This victim playing And this sense of entitlement They're still just expecting Something from you And it's just never enough And even if they do Manage to get more out of you More supply More resources Even then They're just going to go off To someone else And do the same thing All over again And it's just never going to end This is how they live their lives This is how they survive By leaching off other people Elevating themselves At other people's expense All they can do Is manipulate They can't do anything They can't do anything else That's all they can do Everything they do Everything they say It is all manipulation All of it It's like Artificial intelligence It's like a robot Everything is manipulation Everything It's all intended to induce A certain reaction A certain feeling or behaviour All of it It's never A level playing field With a narcissist Because they're so insecure They've always got to find some way To gain advantage To gain the upper hand To try and level things out And it's just never going to be Any other way with them It's always going to be like that Despite everything they did to you Everything they took from you And again it's like you leave them behind And it's like You're still the problem There's still something wrong with you And it's like you can't even win It's like no matter what you do It's still bad, it's still wrong When you're with them the entire time They complain about everything And then it's like Nothing you do Changes anything They're never happy They're never satisfied They've always got a problem with you And then even when you pack up And leave Then that's a problem as well When it's like I thought You know if I'm so bad Maybe I should just leave you alone But wait no no You don't want me to do that as well Because actually You never say it But you enjoy Putting me down So that you can elevate yourself At my expense And in return you get to feel Powerful And significant And at the same time You're extracting money And resources from me But you're still miserable You're still envious And resentful Because you know You're addicted You're heavily dependent on me So then even that's a problem then When I try to leave Because yeah they fear that abandonment They don't want to be cut off From their supply That's all we are Extensions of the narcissist And their minds were just objects That exist To meet their emotional needs Because they can't meet that for themselves And that's just the only way That it's ever going to be with them It's only ever going to be like that Sorry guys But there will be a moderator In the live chat soon I know there are A large number of trolls These days I mean Just looking for the comments There's more trolls And real people these days But I've been so into Just delivering this message to you I haven't really noticed the comments Myself too much But of course I understand It must be quite distracting For many of you Just hold on But in the next few days We will have A moderator In the live chat If there's anything To say Any comments On what I've said here so far Let me know in the live chat Seems like the entire time There's just been Completely off topic Messages from these trolls They honestly don't know what is going on In their heads after time But I think there are quite a lot of you Who have been benefiting from this message Know what you think down below If you have any questions Poonam Sinha asks What do they feel What does an narcissist feel They're so disconnected from themselves And their own emotions They don't really feel anything I know how it looks Sometimes it's like Sometimes they do look happy Sometimes they do look sad Sometimes they look angry All of these things The reactions that they've learned And seen In television or movies Maybe from family, from friends And they've learned it Because they've seen that Helps them to gain Power, relevance Helps them to manipulate people's emotions To get them what they want To get them noticed But inside They don't really feel anything Sometimes they may feel Pity for themselves But even then It's just something they've learned These are all just tools To get reactions from other people Because remember any kind of reaction That's narcissistic supply So I don't think they really do Feel anything authentically And we will know that As narcissistic extensions How do you feel After you've been around them long enough It's like we don't even feel anything We feel emotionally numb We don't feel happy, sad, angry We just feel completely dead inside That's how you know, as a narcissistic extension That's what's going on for them That's what's always been going on for them So I hope that answers your question There are definitely a lot of narcissistic trolls In the live chat A pattern I notice is that they always Try to compare me to someone else Or they try to impose some kind of False description or identity on me Because that's how they relate Or associate to people They can't experience us as we actually are They have to try and pull us into their realm By making these alternative Interpretations They have these Impressions of us That are completely unrelated to us But they impose it upon us To bring us into their realm So these are all signs They kind of come out and say Like all the time I notice They compare me to M&M I don't know where they get that from I mean M&M is You know, of a completely different Ethnicity Age, everything Doesn't make any sense And then people just make all kinds of assumptions About me and it's like Why don't you ask Like why don't you say Where are you from Instead of like this comment here Saying Are you Mexican Instead of making such a random Assumption You know, especially based on Someone who clearly Doesn't have a Spanish accent You know, I quite clearly have an English accent But you know, that's what they do To try and get you to fit their mould As well These are actually very typical behaviours Of narcissists From my experience And I'm sure from your experiences as well So it's quite worrying to see You know, recently The live chat is becoming flooded With Highly narcissistic people Who are all in some kind of delusion And not only that But it seems they all kind of joined At the same time I don't know if you noticed that recently And although it's many different accounts They all tend to say the same things It's very interesting When things for sure They don't care about anyone but themselves They don't care about any of you They don't care about what you're getting out of this If it's helping you All they care about is themselves Joan says no contact Nothing, he's fished around Sneaking on my door camera Thinking I couldn't see them Yeah, when you go no contact They may often stalk and harass you I've said it before They may stalk your social media If you block them Then they may just show up at your house Maybe even your work They may even go and harass your family members Or friends To just try and find any way To get back in with you Or even just to let you know That they're still there Because it's like if you see them If you notice them, you hear them And then They're on your mind That's giving them supply as well It's like transferring Energy to them Matt says you're alive Caused multiple narcissistic injuries at once Yeah I've been asked this how it goes Anything where you're speaking the truth Just any kind of reality They do not like it It will injure them They need their facades They need people to think and believe Whatever they want them to think and believe And if anyone goes outside of that Causes an injury They don't like it It's like sunlight to a vampire Got a lot of comments here Still a lot of trolls But that's just how it goes I mean When you start to elevate And you become more successful These narcs, these trolls They will begin to notice They get very envious They start to feel insecure But as I said Everything they do is manipulation Everything Because they feel that they are not good enough That's also why people abuse Pretty much any negative behaviour or action That's taken something away from your Experience It's because they feel like they're not enough It's coming from their own Shame And insecurities Everything Abuse, manipulation Any negative behaviour It's all coming from them Feeling like they're not enough Because when you feel whole and complete When you feel like you're good enough Everything is love And acceptance Anything that is not love It's typically negative And it is Shame based And you can't have both You can't have love And shame at the same time You also can't have love and fear Which is why any time that you're around them It pulls you out of that state as well Because the two cannot exist together But be aware of that Everything they do is all manipulation Everything Everything they say Everything they do Every action and behaviour It is all manipulation It's all unnatural and organic But yeah that's all I've got to say for this topic And I try to answer a few of the questions I know it's difficult with all of these trolls on the live chat But we will be getting them out of here very soon This is no place for trolls This is a place for people who have survived Abuse, they've been victims They're trying to heal, move on, elevate, grow Become better We're not trying to go back down Narcissists They want to go down They want to stay down They can stay down forever Do it away from us Because we want to elevate We want to grow, we want to love We want to become the best versions of ourselves And that's that And if you don't subscribe to that Then Find another live video Because I think I speak for all of us When I say that You're not welcome here If you want to grow then Yeah, that's fine Then welcome To the channel So that's really all I've got to say about that But yeah, thank you all for joining me On another Narcissism Live video And if you found it helpful Please do hit that thumbs up button down below Very important as it helps to YouTube algorithm To get this message out there To other survivors as well And let me know your thoughts Hit the subscribe button And click all notifications So that you will be notified When I upload a video in the future And if you'd like to book A one-on-one coaching session with me Go to my website It is NarcSurvivor.co.uk And you can also follow me on Instagram It's NarcSurvivor YouTube Thank you all for joining me On another NarcSurvivor Live video And as always I look forward to talking with you In another one very soon