 FORWARD Every worthy book has a reason for its existence that is founded upon true purpose and desire. Whether the writer does justice to her subject or fulfills her purpose, it is the liberty of others to judge. It is her joy, however, to know that her purpose was true and her efforts sincere. This little book is born of a desire to help and encourage our girls who are struggling with the problems that come up in teens. Youth has its problems, its heart aches, and its disappointments. It is not always a smooth path to the perfection of womanhood. If what I have written should help some girl to a nobler life and truer ideals, then I shall feel that it has accomplished the task I have set for it to do. MABLE HELL PREFESS Those years forming the transition period between childhood and womanhood are filled with wonderful interest and attractiveness, for there is nothing of more beauty and grace than the budding and blossoming of girlhood. But the young feet that travel this way are often fearful and uncertain, or willful and bold. Each and all have need of guidance. They need a helping hand along the way. Other books have been written bearing upon the same subjects as I have here treated, but many girls who will read this do not have them, and lack the counsel they could give. It is because of this hope to reach some of these precious girls with the help they need this little volume has been written. It is sent forth with a sincere desire to be a blessing. END OF FORWARD AND PREFESS. CHAPTER I. OF BEAUTIFUL GIRLHOOD. This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Little Girlhood by Mabel Hale. CHAPTER I. OPENING FLOWERS. Rejoice in thy youth, and let thy heart cheer thee in the days of thy youth. Have you ever watched the development of a rose from the tiny bud to the open flower? The bud held little more promise of beauty than the foliage about it, but day by day it grew until it was full and round. One day you saw a thread of color, promise of the rose to be, peeping through the covering of green. Each morning you saw the thread of color widening until the bud burst asunder and the flower was revealed. You looked upon this bursting bud with admiration and delight. Though yet you did not see the rose in its full size and beauty, you had to wait until it was full grown and fully open till it had reached its maturity before you could behold the complete flower. But in the opening blossom you had the beauty of the mature rose blended with the grace and charm of the bud. Girlhood is the opening flower of womanhood. It has charms all its own. The wonderful change from the child to the woman, the marvelous blossoming of young, healthy girlhood, will ever be God's great miracle in life's garden. The half-open rose is girlhood. We are charmed both by the beauty of the bud and by the wonderful coloring of the rose. We behold the familiar traits of childhood that have always charmed us and held our affections, but blended with these in ever-changing variety are the graces and powers of womanhood. Do you, dear girls, appreciate the golden days in which you are living. You have your perplexities and vexations, of course, yet you are enjoying the merry carefree days of youth, which are generally the happiest days of the whole life. You are standing where the brook and river meet, where childhood's days and childhood's toys are put aside for the greater things of womanhood. Girlhood days are happy days. The blush of youth is on the cheeks and the rich red blood of the youth in the veins, while the cares of life have not yet settled upon the heart. Slaughter is now tuned to catch every note of music, to respond to every pleasurable emotion and fancy. Life to the normal girl is full of song and laughter. She looks forward with a magic view that hides all the sorrows and terrors, and reveals in bright hues all the joys and blessings. Her heart beats with eagerness to begin the conquest that will certainly be hers. From her point of view there are no defeats, no failures, no disappointments. Every thorn is hidden, and every rose revealed. So contagious is her joy and optimism that her presence will cheer the dullest household and set its faults beating with hope and laughter. Older heads, who know that life is not all joy and sunshine, come under the spell of her charms and smile with her. With songs of hope and joy upon her lips she goes forth to meet life joyously and unafraid. Laugh and play now, for this is your day. Dream your bright and happy dreams and aspire to your lofty heights. I should be a pessimist indeed if I saw evil in the radiant dreams and fair hopes that now brighten your skies and make your path light. But girlhood is not without danger. The rose may be blighted and never come to perfection, even though the bud burst open with the fairest promise. And the girl with the brightest prospects and hopes of womanhood may fail to reach her goal if she is touched with the blighting force of sin. Her God-given inheritance is a pure and beautiful maturity full of usefulness. But there is that which would ruthlessly rob her of it. We guard our bud-laden rosevines lest they be trampled upon, and we guard our precious daughters lest they be robbed of that untouched purity which is their own. Girlhood is the time of making ready. Maturity and independence come later. For another period our girl must yet be under teachers and guardians who carry the burden and responsibility which will ill-fit her young shoulders. In a few short years—oh, so few—these guardians and burden-lifters will all be taken away, and your girl will step into life's harness and feel the care and pain that have been the lot of womanhood since the beginning. So laugh and play and rejoice in your youth. Dream your glorious daydreams. Sip the honey and nectar from every passing hour. But guard well your feet that they do not slip into one of the snares and pitfalls along the way. Be pure, be true, be sincere, be earnest, and life will bring you peace and happiness. CHAPTER II From the Child to the Woman You can find a virtuous woman, for her price is far above Ruby's. One day I had a great surprise. I had been watching a young girl grow through what had been for her awkward, changing years. She was not pretty, nor was she very attractive. But she had a good, true heart hidden away under her blundering ways, and I loved her. I had not seen her for a few months, so one day I purposed to call upon the family and learn how they were prospering. It was a pleasant spring morning which I chose for this walk, and I tapped lightly on the door. Her mother opened for me and pressed me to stay with them for dinner. While we talked I heard the sewing machine humming in another room, and presently her mother said, Clara is doing the spring sewing for the children. I was surprised to hear that, for I thought of Clara as a girl too unskilled to undertake such a task. But my surprise gave place to wonder, when a little later the door opened, and Clara came in to greet me. It was Clara's voice and face indeed. But otherwise I should never have recognized my little friend in this graceful young woman before me. How such a change could have taken place in the few short months of my absence I could not understand. My little Clara had blossomed into a young woman. Childhood is a wonderful thing. The little baby in its mother's arms, a tender plant dependent upon mother for all things, holds in its little body not only the possibility, but the sure promise of manhood or womanhood. The infant mind, now so imperfect and undeveloped, possesses powers of growth and development, that may some time make it one of the foremost persons of the world. Every name, though ever so great, and every record, though ever so inspiring, can be tracked back to an infant's crib. Even our savior was once a babe wrapped in swaddling clothes and laid in a manger. Childhood holds untold possibilities and promises. While it is true that many men never reach their childhood's promise, never become noble characters, but remain mediocre and dull. It is not always because there was in them no possibility of better things. We must admit that circumstances and environment, as well as heredity, have much to do with the nature and development of children. But much more depends upon their individual disposition and effort. God meant that every child should grow into a noble, upright person, and there is in every child that which may be brought to the fullness of manhood or womanhood. Those who fail to be such have somewhere along the way wasted that which God has given them. Womanhood is a wonderful thing. In womankind we find the mothers of the race. There is no man so great, nor none so low, but once he lay a helpless innocent babe in a woman's arms, and was dependent upon her love and care for his existence. It is woman who rocks the cradle of the world, and holds the first affections of mankind. She possesses a power beyond that of a king on his throne. There was the ancient Jacobet, who received the infant Moses from the hand of Pharaoh's daughter, and in a few short years she had taught him so to love his people and the God of his people, that when he came to man's estate he chose rather to suffer affliction with the people of God than to enjoy the honor of being the grandson of the king. Womanhood stands for all that is pure and clean and noble. She who does not make the world better for having lived in it has failed to be all that a woman should be. Childhood holds its promises. Womanhood its fulfilments. And youth, those golden days of girlhood, the transition. This change is almost too great for us to comprehend. We marvel when we see the tiny, green bud develop into a mature rose of brilliant hue. How much more wonderful is the change from the immaturities of childhood to the beauty and grace of young womanhood. We see this miracle performed before us continually. Yet we never cease to wonder at the sweetness, charm, and beauty of every woman newly budded forth. Wonderful changes take place in the body of a girl in this transition. She takes on a new form and new symmetry. Organs that have been dormant during childhood suddenly wake into life and activity. She becomes not merely a person, but a woman. And with this change in her physical being comes just as wonderful changes in her nature. She has new emotions, new thoughts, and new aspirations. She has a new view of life and takes a new course of action. It is as if she were in another world. So completely does she change. The awakening comes suddenly. Not that she will know the day or the week when the change comes, nor will she be conscious of the miracle in her nature. But the things of childhood will slip away from her. The little girl loses interest in her play world. She who did play whole days with her dolls now leaves them in their little beds weeks at a time. And one day she will say, Mother, I do not play with these dolls any more, and I have a mind to put them away for they take up so much room. Then Marguerite and Rosemary and Hilda May are dressed nicely, and with a last loving pat are tucked away in a box or old trunk in the attic and left to themselves while their little mother is hurrying away to the land of grown-ups. Mother looks on with dismay as she sees these changes, for she knows that her little girl is getting away from her, and that she must make room in her heart and life for the young woman developing before her eyes. She would put it off a little longer, for she will miss her little daughter, her baby girl. But even mother love cannot stay the hand of time. Youth cannot stand monotony. So rapid are the changes in those eventful years that nature has tuned the mind and spirit of youth to seek and desire, change, and variety. Even a few days of sameness become wearisome to the girl. The more full life is of excitement and change, the more happy she is. Life to her is a succession of glad surprises. The child becomes a woman at last. She slipped into girlhood naturally, and just as naturally she will lay off girlish ways and settle into womanhood. Life will take on a more sober look, and she will see things more distinctly. Many of the admonitions and reproofs that she received in her girlhood, and which seemed hard and unnecessary at the time, will now appear in their true light, and she will thank her guardians who gave them. Her cheeks will glow with embarrassment when she thinks of some of her girlish escapades, and become redder still when she thinks of some of the things she wanted to do that mother would not permit. She will talk more quietly and laugh less boisterously. New feelings of responsibility will press in upon her. Life will look more earnest and serious than it used to do. She will wonder how she could ever have been so careless of consequences. Your child is now a woman, and her nature craves something more real and satisfying than the fleeting pleasures of youth. You, my dear girls, are now in these busy, changing years. I can have no better wish and prayer for you than that you may arrive in due time into the glorious state of womanhood, with hearts pure and hands clean. Good women are needed everywhere, and the call for them will never grow faint. There will always be responsible places in life to be filled by women who are true and noble. Their price is above rubies. That is, their worth is more than all the riches of this world. CHAPTER III. OF BEAUTIFUL GIRLHOOD. This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information, or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. BEAUTIFUL GIRLHOOD. By Mabel Hale. CHAPTER III. KEEPING UP ACQUAINTANTS. Acquaint now thyself with him, and be at peace. Thereby good shall come unto thee. Did you ever have a friend with whom it was hard to keep acquainted? You parted on good terms, and thought of her as a friend all the time. But when again you met, you found that once more you must become acquainted. I have had such experiences, and found them unsatisfactory. I would have a friend, be a friend, all the time. Nellie confesses that she often cries herself to sleep, because no one understands her, while Marie acknowledges that she sometimes gets very angry with her mother because she cannot make her mother understand what she wants. It seems that every one, even your mother, fails to comprehend the importance of the very things that you seem to think the most momentous. It is especially grievous to you that your mother does not understand when you used to think she knew and understood everything. She appears to be getting out of touch with young folks. It may be a queer way of putting it, but your real trouble is that you have lost acquaintance with almost all that is around you. First, you are not acquainted with yourself. You've changed so fast that you are a stranger to yourself. You cannot keep up with your notions. You want a thing, and before your desire can be fully granted, you want something else. It seems to you that nobody really tries to please you, and you get restless and dissatisfied. You think that everyone is crossing you, when you are really crossing yourself. Watch the changes in your body. The dress you liked so well last summer did not fit you at all when you got it out this spring. You looked almost comical in it, and you wonder why you ever liked it. The dress is just as it was, but you have changed. You have grown taller and taken on a new form. Clothes must be cut by a different pattern now to fit you. You are changing just as fast in your likes and dislikes. Mother has been planning a special pleasure for you, possibly has begun your new dress. She explains what she is going to do and how she is going to do it, and when you have a chance to speak, you break her plans all to pieces. She has not pleased you at all, though Mother knows very well that what she intended to do was the very thing you wanted only a short while ago. She looks at you perplexed, and you are almost angry that she should have supposed you would have desired such a thing. Perhaps you speak softly, and Mother reproves you sharply and calls you an ungrateful girl. You go away and cry, real hot tears, because you are so misunderstood. You, my dear, have changed and do not know it. It is not Mother, but the girl who lives in your body that so misunderstands you. When I was about fourteen, Mother was making me a new dress, and I wanted the sleeves made very full at the hand and open from the elbow down. They were very ugly and very unhandy and always falling into everything, and it was winter and very cold. But I wanted my sleeves made that way, no matter what was said to me. Mother set her lips together and said, Well, you shall have them. Her look called me to my senses, and I began to back down. But she said, No, you shall have them just as you want them. And I had to drag and dribble those sleeves around till the dress was worn out. I found out that it was just an ocean, which lasted but a short while, that I wanted such sleeves, and that my real self despised them. Mother knew that all the time. I am not blaming girls for being changeable. But I want them to see that they are changing, and not to expect everyone to change with them. Again the girl finds herself feeling very awkward. It seems to her that she is always splashing or spilling something and bringing down upon her head admonitions that nettle her. The fact is that her arms and hands have grown so fast that she cannot measure the length they will reach, nor the force with which they will seize a thing. She has failed to keep acquainted with her own body. She need not be discouraged if she has trouble with awkwardness, for everyone who is growing fast has the same experience. Father himself would be just as awkward if he were suddenly to gain a few inches in his height. It is hard for even a mother to keep acquainted with growing children. While she may misunderstand, to some extent, the present whim or fancy of the boy and girl, she does understand conditions much better than they do and can see when their desires and impulses would lead them into wrong. A girl is not able to be her own boss until she has passed these changing years. Not till then can she look upon things with a settled gaze. It would be very hard to judge a garden if one went by it on a run, and it is just as hard to judge as to what is best as long as these swift, changing years are on. If the girl can only be patient and obedient until she gets fully acquainted with herself, she will save both her own heart and her dear parents many hours of trial and anxiety. Strive to keep acquainted with your parents and teachers so that you can understand their point of view. Look at things from their side. Because they do not agree with you, do not go off pouting and keep to yourself, but listen and really try to see. I could not keep acquainted with any one if I never sought her company, or if when I was with her I always insisted on having my way. And you cannot keep acquainted with mother if you are always contending for your own way. When you contend with any one you come up against his most unlikable side, and if you are continually contending with mother about this and that, you will find yourself thinking only of her most unkind ways. Just a little of the deferrence and courtesy given to strangers would help you better to understand your mother. Mother has many things to think about, and her mind is often full of perplexing problems which you know nothing about. It may be that just at the time when you are most persistent about something or other, your contention is the last straw which wears her out, and she answers you more sternly than you think she ought. You feel abused and hampered. You think of mother as being unkind and possibly unjust. She thinks of you as being stubborn and ungrateful. Both of you would see things differently if you took time to keep acquainted. Keep acquainted with father also. Too often he is not counted into the daughter's life at all, than to provide the money she needs. He is a great blessing in the girl's life if she will only give him a chance to know her. He is busy and can hardly be expected to take the initiative in a hearty acquaintance, but he will appreciate the kind advances of his young daughter if she comes to him smiling and seeking to know him. To keep acquainted with herself or her parents a girl must be considerate and thoughtful. She cannot give way to every fancy or whim, but must consider what is best for her and for others. When a girl is just entering her teens, she must watch carefully indeed if she keeps from being selfish. So much is happening in her life just then. Such great changes take place, that she is almost certain to become self-centered and to think always of herself first. It is such a task for her to keep up with her thoughts and feelings and desires that everybody else is forgotten. There is something about the tumultuous condition of her nature that makes her see with crooked eyes, so that things are not in their right proportions. Just a little reasoning on her part will help her to see that she is making a mistake. It is selfishness that would make a girl think it across to help with the ironing because it might hurt her pretty hands when her mother has to work hard all day long, or again it is selfishness that would cause her to spend a whole hour dressing her hair in the morning before she is off to school, leaving her no time to help with the dishes. And when evening comes and someone must stay with the little ones while the rest go out, it is selfishness if she feels abused when her turn comes. It is selfishness that makes a girl think that she ought to have better clothes than her mother has, or that would have her want better than her brothers and sisters possess. She has kept her mind so full of her own desires that she has forgotten that others have wants or rights. It is the most cruel kind of selfishness that will cause a girl to speak crossly and saucily to her parents when they must refuse her some of her notions. They who have done most for her of all the world, who are working week in and week out for her happiness, who are denying themselves many pleasures that her life may be more full, they who because in their wisdom see that she should be denied, they must have her become cross with them. The great foe of these years is selfishness, and the girl who comes to the most perfect womanhood learns soon to fight it with all her might. CHAPTER 4 of BEAUTIFUL GIRLHOOD This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. BEAUTIFUL GIRLHOOD by Mabel Hale CHAPTER IV Character Building Let every man take heed how he buildeth. The most precious earthly treasure a girl can have is character. Her character is what she really is. If she will look beyond what she appears to be and what people think of her and look at her heart fairly and honestly, judging herself by the standards of right and wrong to which her own conscience gives sanction, then she can know whether she has a good character. When a girl is misunderstood and misjudged, it is comforting to know that deep in her heart she has been true. But it will rob even her friend's praises of the real pleasure if in her heart she knows she has been untrue. Character is not given to us. We build it ourselves. Others may furnish the material, may set before us the right standards and ideals, may give us reproof and correction, may guide our actions and mold our thoughts. But after all, we build our own character. It is we ourselves who take of the influence about us, copy the ideals, reach the standards, and make ourselves what we are. Youth is the building time. From infancy through childhood, material has been brought together which we may use in our building. There are home influences and teachings, moral and intellectual instructions received in school, religious precepts and councils of church and Sunday school, the moral standards of our childhood's playmates, the characters of the men and women we know, and countless other avenues by which instruction has come to us, bringing material which we may use in our building. The girl who has been reared in a Christian home and by careful, watchful parents has a far better opportunity to build a good character than she whose life has been less guarded. It is in the days of youth that this assembled material is built into character. The nature is then pliable and habits are more easily formed and more easily broken than in later years. Day by day the girl, whether conscious of what she is doing or not, is taking of the material which she has about her and is putting it into her character. Truth or falsehood, honesty or deceit, love or hatred, honor or reproach, obedience or rebellion, good or bad. Day by day the building is going on. Through her infancy and childhood her parents have been responsible for her conduct, but now when she has reached these important years their responsibility is lessening and hers is increasing. Sometimes girls who have been quite submissive and obedient through childhood become independent and rebellious at this period, building into their characters that which is a lifelong regret. But otherwise others who have been unruly as children now wake to their responsibility and begin laying into their building those things that are good, upright, honest and noble. But more often she who has learned to obey in her childhood builds the better character. Your building is a serious undertaking. You would never guess it by watching the foolish behavior of some girls. Sometimes I have wondered that to youth should be given the responsibility of laying the foundation of life's character, just when the heart is the gayest and the thoughts the least settled. But if the responsibility came later, it would be at a time when the help of parents and teachers is not to be had. The builder would then have to work alone while now she has many helpers. And since to youth is given such a serious undertaking, ought not our girl to take earnest thought to what she is doing, that no wrong material is placed in her building. Can she afford, for the sake of present fun and frolic, to place in her building that which will give her weakness all through her life? Character building goes on every day. There is not a day that does not tell for good or bad. Each sees another stone in the building, hewn straight and true, or all misshapen and crooked. If temptations have been resisted and obstacles overcome, if evil thoughts and feelings have been quenched, and kind and noble thoughts encouraged in their place, then a stone has been hewn for victory and right. But if temptations have been yielded to, and evil thoughts and feelings have been harbored and cultivated, if wrong motives have been allowed, then the stone is unfit for a good building. So as the days go by, the builder sorts out and uses of the material at hand, that which is put into the character which shall become hers through life. A pattern is needed. No dressmaker would undertake a garment without some idea of how it should look when finished. She must by some means form in her mind the picture of the dress as it is to be when it is done. Nor would she undertake a lady's cloak by a kimono pattern. She would ask for a perfect pattern to work by. A carpenter would not start a building until he first had a draft which made clear to his mind just how the finished edifice would look. More than that he would ask for a perfect pattern of every part of the building, so that he might have it correct all the way through. No character is built good and true if the builder has not in her mind a picture of the woman she wants to be, and the pattern for a good character must be chosen carefully. The carpenter would not undertake a pretty cottage from the print of a barn, nor can a girl build a good true character if she patterns after those whose lives are not good and true. She who has an ideal character is first of all pure and true, then earnest and sincere, patient and gentle, and more ready to serve than to be served. It is easier to build a bad than a good character. One can always go downhill with less difficulty than up, and glide with the current than row against it, and it is easier to drift with the crowd than to stand for the right. The bad character grows without effort. Just to be careless and indifferent to consequences may be the cause of downfall in one who would like to be noble. They who fall have been weak, for good character is strong. Choose well as the days go by. Build for all tune, not just for the present pleasure. What you are building will bring you praise and satisfaction all your life, or it will be your curse and disgrace. Keep your measuring rod at hand, and use it without stint. Forget all that falls short, no matter how pleasant it may look. Is it right? Would it be for my good? Does it meet the approval of my parents and teachers? Is it forbidden? Are questions which you should be continually asking yourself as you decide what to do and what to leave undone. Many things that are fun end in wrong. Much that seems pleasurable after a while comes to be evil, and everything like this should be rejected without hesitation. To do right will often cost a struggle, but it is always worth the effort. We dare not allow ourselves to be continually guided by what others do. Christ is our perfect pattern, and only those who form their lives after him are building the best character. He is the one great pattern for us, his children. CHAPTER V. THE STRENGTH OF OBEDIENCE Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice and to hearken than the fat of rams. The foundation of all perfect deportment is found in obedience. All the universe is under obedience. The stars move in their respective places, the sun and moon in their orbits, and the earth upon its yearly course around the sun, all acting according to one common law that guides them all. The seasons come and go, sea-time and harvest, cold and heat, day and night, all according to laws that are never broken. And if by chance one of these laws should be broken, all the great universe would become chaos. All that God has made he has placed under law, and all moves on in harmony and splendor. Mankind also was placed under law, but not in the absolute sense that governs the universe. He was made like God in that he could know good and evil and choose for himself. If he should choose that which is right he should bring to himself blessings and peace, but if he chose the evil he should bring down upon his own head the results of that choice. From this law of reward no man may in the end find an escape. Of all that God made man alone dared to be disobedient. He who could have brought most glory to God has from the beginning dishonored him. There are two kinds of obedience. In the first a weaker person is overcome by a stronger and compelled to obey by superior force. His will is not in the obedience, but rather against it. He will cease to be obedient when opportunity permits. This is the obedience that criminals give to laws, slaves to their masters, and which many children give to their parents and teachers. It is the soil in which rebellion grows, and it is always dangerous. Its end is always unrestrained, turmoil, and anarchy. True obedience begins in the heart. The person obeying gives sanction to the law, acknowledging that it is right, and obeys because he believes it to be his duty to do so. He needs no law, officer, nor master to compel him, for he is master of his own soul, and demands of himself that which is right. Such a man is great indeed, who is able to make himself obedient to God and right. When the lesson of self-government is learned, one of life's greatest victories is won. The girl who comes to perfect womanhood must learn to be obedient. Her whole life must be governed, not by whim or pleasure, but by right and duty. Her first lessons of obedience are learned at home. She becomes aware that all things are not for her personal convenience and pleasure, but that she must do her part in service, restraint, and sacrifice. That home may be orderly and happy. Her parents give her many and various commands. Some of them seem hard and unnecessary. They interfere with her desires and plans, and the temptation to disregard them as far as possible is great. She feels hampered and bound, and unable to carry out her designs. But she who is building good character takes heed to the commands given her, whether good or bad, and receives the admonitions and reproofs which come her way, governing herself by them, because it is right that she do so. This lesson of obedience, in spite of the rebellion in the heart, is not learned all at once. But every girl does not have the same hard battle with it. Here is one point where she who is blessed, with a humble and submissive nature, has the advantage. She can do quite naturally what her willful and rebellious sister will have to struggle hard to accomplish. Many girls are like my little friend Betty. Betty was willful by nature, and obedience came hard. She had been exceptionally willful in a certain matter, and her father had reproofed her sharply, cutting off privileges that Betty valued very much. She felt angry and rebellious against her father for the penalty that he had exacted, and unburdened her heart to her mother in angry little burst. Her mother answered, We will not discuss father now. You are angry and cannot think clearly, but you will confess that it is not impossible for you to obey to the letter, all that he has required. What your rebellious nature needs, my daughter, is to be compelled to obey, and you are the one to do it. The commandment has been given to you, and if you want to be victor, obey it exactly, for your own soul's good. It is the easiest way out of your difficulty, and the best thing for your development. Betty had the good sense to see this, and though her heart did yet rebel, she said, I shall do that. And she found the hardest part of her punishment was over when she had brought down her stubborn spirit. Obedience is never outgrown. It is not merely a requirement of childhood, but it is just as necessary in later years. After a girl leaves the care of her parents and teachers, she remains yet the servant of duty. In fact, the more she is thrown upon her own responsibility, the more loudly duty speaks to her, becoming either a tyrant, exacting obedience from an unwilling heart, or a good friend and guide, leading on to right, just as the girl takes it. There were long stretches in Betty's childhood and youth in which the girl did practically as she desired to do. She followed the dictates of her own free will. It is true that to do this she had to keep within the bounds of law and order, that she found that no bondage. Now however, since duty beckons her, she is pressed on every side. There is scarcely any time she can call her own. She must do her duty or lose her own self-respect. She has duty to herself, to her family, to her friends, to the church, to her community, and to her God. If she has not learned obedience and rebels at service, she will find her life hard indeed. But if she wills to do her duty and obeys from choice the commands of her stern mistress, then she will be happy in just doing her duty. There is a rare pleasure in obedience. The answer of a good conscience brings into the heart a peace and satisfaction that nothing can destroy. The girl who can fold her hands at night with the knowledge that throughout the day she has been obedient to God and right finds in life a gladness and quietness that nothing else can bring. If you would be happy through life and make it success of the years which will be given to you, learn now in your girlhood to obey, to bring yourself under control, where reason rules, not mere whim or fancy, and the responsibility of this discipline dare not be left to parents and teachers. The girl who really learns obedience must take herself in hand and be a conqueror. Others can compel your servile obedience, but only you can bring to your heart true, God-fearing obedience. Only true obedience uplifts and enlightens and makes life noble. Be your own mistress, bringing yourself into obedience. CHAPTER VI Favour is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised. Sometimes much to my amusement I read in the magazines those comical letters that girls write to the beauty specialists. If these letters could all be put together into one, it would read something like this. How am I to make myself pretty so that I shall be admired for my good looks? I want to be rid of all my blemishes, my freckles, and pug-nose, and pimples and stringy hair. I would have my hands and arms very shapely, and I would be neither too stout nor too thin. Tell me, Miss Specialist, how to make myself beautiful. The wise man of old has answered this question in words that are most appropriate. Favour is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised. Every girl is a lover of beauty. Beautiful homes, beautiful furnishings, beautiful flowers, beautiful fruits, beautiful faces, anything wherein beauty is found, there will be found girls to admire it. From the time her little hands can reach up and her baby lips can lisp the words, she is admiring pretty things. And when a little of that beauty is her own, her pleasure is unbounded. Every girl longs to be beautiful. Favour is in woman and nature, as deep as humanity, that compels her to strive for good looks. There is no more forlorn sorrow for a young girl than for her to be convinced that she is hopelessly ugly and undesirable. O, the bitter tears that have been shed over freckles, or a rough and pimply skin, and the energy that has been expended in painting and powdering and waving and curling herself into beauty. A desire to be beautiful is not unwomanly. A woman who is not beautiful cannot properly fill her place. But, Mark you, true beauty is not of the face, but of the soul. There is a beauty so deep in lasting that it will shine out of the homeliest face and make it comely. This is the beauty to be first sought and admired. It is a quality of the mind and heart, and is manifested in word and deed. A happy heart, a smiling face, loving words and deeds, and a desire to be of service, will make any girl beautiful. A desire to be comely and good to look at is not to be utterly condemned. Beauty of face and form are not given to every one, but when they are present they may be a blessing, if they are used rightly. But a girl need not feel that her life is blighted if she lack these things. The proper care of her person and dress will make an otherwise homely girl good-flicking. What is more disgusting than a slovenly, untidy woman? Her hair disheveled, her face and neck in need of soap and water, her dress in need of repair, her shoes run down. She presents a picture that indeed repels. Though she might have a kind heart and many other desirable qualities, yet her unkept appearance hides them from view. But she who always keeps herself tastefully and tidily dressed and her person clean and neat is attractive and pleasing. Her personal care only increases the charm of her personality. It is to be regretted if any girl lacks a feeling of concern and shame should she be caught in careless and untidy dress. She should take pleasure in keeping herself presentable and attractive. Not only when she goes out or receives guest, but for the pleasure of the home folks as well. But when a girl paints and powders till she looks like an advertisement for cosmetics, she shows a foolish heart, which is not beautiful. In the cloakroom of a certain school a question arose among some girls as to who had the most beautiful hands. The teacher listened to her girls thoughtfully. They compared hands and explained secrets of keeping them pretty. Nettie said that a girl could not keep perfect hands and wash dishes or sweep. Maude spoke of the evil effects of cold and wind and too much sunshine. Stella told of her favorite cold cream. Ethel spoke of proper manicuring. At last the teacher spoke. To my mind Jenny Higgins has the most beautiful hands of any girl in school, she said quietly. Jenny Higgins exclaimed Nettie in amazement. Why her hands are rough and red and look as if she took no care of them. I never thought of them as beautiful. I have seen those hands carrying dainty food to the sick and soothing the brow of the aged. She is her widowed mother's main help, and she it is who does the milking and carries the wood and water, yes, and washes dishes night and morning, that her mother may be saved the hard work. I have never known her to be too tired to speak kindly to her little sister and help her in her play. I have found those busy hands helping her brother with his kite. I tell you, I think they are the most beautiful hands I have ever seen, for they are always busy helping somewhere. This is the beauty for which every girl should strive. The beauty that comes from unselfishness and usefulness. Beauty of face and form is secondary in importance, though not to be despised. If used properly, personal beauty is a good gift, but if it turns a girl's head it becomes a curse to her. Think of such women who are much spoken of through the public press, or who have achieved noble deeds, as Francis Willard, Florence Nightingale, or Edith Cavell, and consider whether you ever heard if they were pretty or not. No one ever thinks of such trifles when speaking of those who are great of soul. The girl who depends on her pretty face or form for attraction is to be pitied. Those articles and magazines that so exalt the idea of personal beauty are pandering to the lower part of nature. One may be perfectly beautiful so far as that kind of beauty goes, and lack to its great an extent that true beauty which is like a royal diadem upon the head. Those who give much time to increasing their personal charms are living on a lower level than is altogether becoming to womanhood. A beautiful soul shining out of a homely face is far more attractive than a beautiful face out of which looks a soul full of selfishness and coldness. My little friend, be not careless of the good looks that nature has given to you. Take care in dressing yourself and attending to personal neatness, that you may ever appear at your best. Untightiness and carelessness hide the beauty of kind deeds. The greatness of soul and nobility of heart hide homeliness of face. You cannot see the one for the other. Seek goodness and purity first, then strive to keep the body in harmony with the beauty of the heart. Take time to make yourself presentable, but do not use the time before your glass that should be given to loving service. Let your chief charm be of heart and spirit, not of face and form. Take the true beauty which lasts even into old age. Solomon, in one of his wise sayings, expressed plainly the evil that comes to a woman who is beautiful of face but lacks the true beauty of soul. As a jewel of gold in a swine's snout, so is a fair woman which is without discretion. As the swine would plunge the golden jewel into the filth and the mire as he dug in the dirt, so will a pretty woman who is not good drag her beauty down to the very lowest. There are many peculiar temptations to those who are only fair of face. Without true beauty of soul a pretty face is a dangerous gift. CHAPTER VII. OF BEAUTIFUL GIRLHOOD. This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. BEAUTIFUL GIRLHOOD. By Mabel Hale. CHAPTER VII. THAT MEMBER THE TONGUE. By thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned. That member the tongue, what a treacherous thing it is, and how many times it brings its owner into trouble. One writer has said that he who is able to bridle the tongue is a perfect man, and is able to govern the whole body. Solomon, the wise man of old, has said that a word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver. A word fitly spoken, how good it is. It will heal a heart that is broken and turn away wrath. Kind words are like a fragrant odor that fills all the house. One person who habitually speaks kindly and considerately can soothe and quiet a household. And such words are not hard to give if the heart is in the right attitude. When one can feel and appreciate the joys and sorrows of others, the right words will come naturally. Unkind words are the fruits of selfishness. No one likes to be spoken to with harsh words, and if the golden rule is remembered and kept, none will be spoken to others. Consider the girl among your associates who is most universally liked, and you will find her to be a girl who sympathizes with others, and who is ever ready to speak a kind and encouraging word. There is no amount of brilliancy that can, in the affections of our friends, take the place of kindness of speech. A girl is known by her words. Generally the first impression she makes upon strangers is made by her speech. Some remark falls upon their ears, and they form an opinion of the speaker founded upon the nature of that remark. If she is heard speaking considerately and sympathetically, they think of her as kind and agreeable. But if she is loud and boisterous in her speech, or if her remark is unkind and spiteful, they form the opposite opinion. Many girls have to overcome prejudice in the minds of others. This which the girls have created against themselves by their own hasty speeches. It never pays to blurt out harsh or unkind speech, no matter how provoking the occasion may be. To avoid speaking unkindly at any time, it is well to form habits of kindness. Betty had formed the habit of bidding mother good-bye each morning and noon as she set off for school. This good-bye was spoken in the kindest of tones, and with a note of tenderness that cheered her mother all the day. One morning a stranger was present as Betty set off, and as she passed out the door she called back in her usual way. Good-bye, mother! Tears sprang up in the stranger's eyes, and he said, A girl like that is a treasure. You ought to be happy to have her speak so to you. Betty's little farewell, said without a thought, had wonderfully impressed the man. The tongue is an unruly member, and until it is brought into control by the girl herself it is ever liable to get her into trouble. If the old rule to think twice before you speak once can be remembered and obeyed, much trouble and heartache will be avoided. When all the efforts at controlling a girl's tongue are made by parents and teachers instead of by the girl herself, it is like trying to stop a faucet by putting your hand over it. The pressure from within is so strong that ugly words will fly out in spite of these efforts. But when the girl undertakes the task herself she is able to turn the pressure off so that the words flow smoothly. Not that it will be without struggle, but victory is ahead for every girl who will try. Every girl should form the habit of speaking in a gentle tone. While she is young the vocal organs can be trained to give out soft tones. Who is it who does not admire a soft and tender tone in a woman's voice? I have always felt sorry for older women who have from childhood spoken in a loud or harsh tone a voice, for it is practically impossible for them to do otherwise now. But girls can have gentle voices if they will. No girl can afford to be impudent or saucy. One who is such sets a poor estimate upon herself. When a girl is saucy she shows a lack of respect for elders and superiors, and also a lack of respect for her own good name. Instead of sauciness, sounding smart and making a girl appear clever and independent, it shows her to be rude and egotistical. There is nothing lovely nor desirable about it, and if indulged into any extent will spoil any girl. This is more hateful because it begins at home. Where the girl should be her best she is her worst, for she is always more ugly to her own loved ones than to anyone else. She makes home miserable so far as her influence goes. Mother and father may endeavor to be kind and just, but at the least reproof or counsel the mouth of the girl sends out a stinging retort that hurts cruelly. Many words cost too much in heartache and tears. They are not found in beautiful girlhood. For where the habit of sauciness is found the beauty of girlhood is spoiled. Words can be like swords, cutting deep, not into the flesh, but into the tender heart. The time will come, my young friend, when you will gaze upon the still form of one you loved, and will regret with tears and sighs the harsh words you have spoken. Do not lay up for yourself sorrow for that time. The tongue, ungoverned, leads into many wrong channels. By it unkind remarks are made of absent ones. Boasts and threats are uttered, evil suspicions spoken, trouble kindled, and hearts broken. Almost all the sorrow of the world can be traced back to the wrong use of the tongue. If you could learn the history of almost any neighborhood you would find that someone had suffered, some heart had been wounded or broken, by the gossiping tongue of a neighbor. Gossip of a certain kind is not really wrong. We are naturally interested in the doings of our friends and like to talk their affairs over in a kind way, and it is one of the strongest curbs on evil doings to know that such will be soundly condemned by the neighbors. We should always be ready to condemn evil deeds, but when this gossip is mixed with a desire to wound or hurt another, or when the one who is talking is careless of the results of her speeches, gossip becomes sinful and mean. When gossip becomes backbiting, it is one of the worst of sins. How quickly we would condemn a man who should shoot another in the back, when only a short time before he had pretended to be a friend to him. And we despise a dog that nips at our hills, and the girl who would talk about her acquaintances behind their backs and pretend friendship to their faces is just as mean. Anyway we view it as evil. Speaking and backbiting are wrong and entirely unbecoming to beautiful girlhood. The Apostle James has written a few verses upon the evils into which the tongue can lead us, and we shall do well to read them at this time. If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man, and able also to bridle the whole body. Behold, we put bits in the horse's mouths, that they may obey us, and we turn about their whole body. Behold also the ships, which though they be so great, and are driven of fierce winds, yet are they turned about with a very small helm, with or so ever the goven or listeth. Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth! And the tongue is a fire, a world of iniquity. So is the tongue, among our members, that it defileeth the whole body, and seteth on fire the course of nature. And it is set on fire of hell. For every kind of beast, and of birds, and of serpents, and of things in the sea is tamed, and hath been tamed of mankind. But the tongue can no man tame. It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. Therewith bless we God, even the Father, and therewith curse we men, which are made after the similitude of God. Out of the same mouth precedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be. Doth the fountain, sent forth at the same place, sweet water, and bitter? Can the fig tree, my brethren, bear olive berries, either a vine, figs? So can no fountain both yield salt water and fresh. Who is a wise man, and endued with knowledge among you? Let him show forth of a good conversation his works with meekness of wisdom. CHAPTER VIII A SUNNY DISPOSITION A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance. Once I looked upon the face of a dear little boy, whose bright eyes and sunny smiles cheered my heart. I asked him what his name might be, and he answered, Papa calls me Sunshine John. Then I knew that the merry smile I saw was, as I thought, an index to the sunny little heart. Any home is blessed if it has a sunshine maker. Every girl owes it to herself and to her associates to be sunny. A happy girlhood is so beautiful that it cannot afford to be spoiled by needless frowns and pouts. There are clouds enough in life without making them out of temper. A girl, who is full of smiles and sunshine, is a fountain of joy to all who know her. The world has enough of tears and sorrow at best, and her sweet smiling face can scatter untold clouds. And a girl asks for a better calling than that of a joy maker for all about her. Every girl must meet her share of bumps in life. If they do not come soon, they must come late. It is impossible that she should pass through life in the sunshine all the time. She must have her share of shadow. She cannot escape it. But it is not the deep shadows that generally cloud a girl's life and make her unhappy and sullen. It is the little things, insignificant in themselves, and which could have been passed by with hardly a thought if resisted one by one, that irritate the temper and mar the happiness. Every day our girl would meet with circumstances in which she has her choice between frowning and sending back a stinging retort, or smiling and passing them by with a kind word. If she can pass these little bumps and keep sweet, then she has mastered the art of being sunny. Betty is working at the kitchen sink, and by some mischance spills water on the floor. Mother is tired, and has perhaps only just finished mopping, and she speaks up quickly, reproving Betty. Betty, you careless girl, can you not do anything without making a mess? Now is Betty's chance. She can frown and send back an angry rejoinder as she flounces out of the room, leaving her mother sorry for her own impatience and grieved at Betty's hatefulness. Or Betty can look up with a smile and say, I'm truly sorry, mother, that I was so awkward, but you will see that I can set it right. The smile that will come to mother's face will be reward enough to Betty for her soft answer. Or again, when the smaller children are cross and fretful, Betty can become cross also, scolding and threatening till she increases the uproar. Or she can begin a romp or a story, and turn their minds into new and pleasant channels. But before Betty can do this, she must have control of herself and a bit of sunshine in her heart. If our girl can leave home every morning for her school or work with a song in her heart and a smile on her lips, and be ready with a bright good morning for each friend she meets, and an encouraging smile for the old or ill or those otherwise in need of encouragement, then she has found a sphere of usefulness that will make many people bless her. There is a real art in smiling. Some people smile or grin all the time, and it becomes monotonous to those who look at them. These grinning people never seem to think whom or what their smile is for. It is as if their mouths were made in that form. Other people have the kind of smile upon their faces that suggests sarcasm. But there are still others, and I have met girls who had mastered the art, whose smiles are tear-chasers. There is something so understanding in their glance and smile that they make you feel that they care for you and want you to be happy. Sometimes when I have been discouraged or depressed by trials all my own, a bright, hopeful smile from someone has cheered me amazingly. In fact, we are very much dependent upon each other for courage and happiness. Then let us be dispensers of joy as we go through life, smiling and glad. If I am in trouble, having acted foolishly in something or other, then I do not appreciate the grinning smile. I would rather the face that looked into mine would express little understanding and feeling for my trouble, or that it would not notice my foolishness at all. When I find a friend who can meet me this way, then that friend becomes a real comfort and joy. Smiles and gladness are like sweet peas, in that the more you gather and give away, the more you have. Leave your sweet peas on the vines, and the flowers are soon gone. But gather them closely each day, and they will blossom the more, and last the summer through. If you save your smiles for special occasions, when there are joys abroad, you will nearly run out of them. But give them out at every opportunity, and the joy vines of your heart will thrive and grow. Live in the sunshine. Look on the bright side, for there is always a bright side. No matter how a girl is situated in life, she can find something to be thankful for. If she is the daughter of a poor father, she has saved many of the temptations that come to the rich, and she has many opportunities for helping and burden-bearing at home. If she is the daughter of the rich, many opportunities for doing good are open that never come to the poor girl. Is she strong and well? She then has a heritage that can be used to good advantage in this busy world, but if she is weak and frail, her life can brighten the home. Often the sick one is the most cheery of the family, in spite of her pain. Everyone can be a sunshine-bearer. God smiles on all who are willing to carry his smiles on to others. In one home the daughter is a willing helper, ready to do all that her young hands can do to lighten the load. And she is a constant blessing to her mother, but she forgets to carry with her a cheery, sunny smile. Her heart becomes vexed and unpleasant, and her words are sharp and cutting. The little ones watch sister's face to see if she is cross. Mother's gentle voice often has to speak to her in soothing tones. Daughter, I know you are tired, but do not make it unpleasant for the little ones. We have much to do, but love lightens it all the way. How often I have wished that to her other graces, this dear girl would add sunshine. The faces of our friends are like mirrors. We can look into them and see the expression of our own face. If we come to them smiling, we see a smile in return. But if we meet them with a frown, they will frown back at us. Try catching the eye of one who is looking sad and out of sorts, and meeting her with a smile, and see if it will not soon answer back in her face. Especially when children are to be dealt with, it is necessary to learn to smile and be pleasant. For if you come to them cross, they will be cross in return. Be cheery, sunny, and happy, both for your own good time and for the sake of others. End of Chapter 8 Chapter 9 of Beautiful Girlhood This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Beautiful Girlhood by Mabel Hale Chapter 9 The Beauty of Truthfulness By the Truth and Sell It Not A writer of old once said, Speak ye every man the truth to his neighbor. And that is what I wish to say now. Once it was asked, What is truth? Truth is the foundation of all things, the rock upon which all things stable and dependable rest. When truth is gone, all that can be relied upon is gone. A life is worse than useless if it lacks the elements of truth. Every noble, sincere person loves truth. For it he will give all that he possesses. Nothing is too precious to be given for truth. He so loves honor and uprightness that he would suffer the loss of all things. In his own life, rather than to perjure his soul, men have faced imprisonment and death rather than swear falsely. Truth beautifies the wearer. It sits like a royal diadem upon the head of all who possess it. Nothing so beautifies the face as a noble heart and a clear conscience. One whose motives are all pure and who has spoken the truth can look the world in the face without flinching. The light of honor and sincerity brightens the eye and clears the brow. Though the features may be irregular and the complexion imperfect, yet these beautiful qualities of the soul will cover all that and give to the homeliest face a beauty that is becoming. I would rather be known for the beauty of my character than the beauty of my face, would not you? A lie is cowardly. After all that might be said to excuse an untruth, when you have sifted it down to its starting point you will find its real reason for being is cowardice. Whether the lie was told to cover a fault or acted to pretend what was not true or said in spite and hatefulness, cowardice is the real cause of its existence. The most common lie, and perhaps the least blamable, is the one told to cover a mistake or fault. This is done because the offender is afraid to meet the consequences of his deed. But a truly brave heart will not give in to this weakness. It is better to look up and tell the truth even if the confession will bring punishment and disgrace. It is better to be true in heart than to have merely the appearance of truth on the outside. To be truthful, then, is courageous. Sometimes it takes more courage to tell the truth than to enter a battle. A young man once espoused a cause which was much spoken against, but in which he believed with all his heart. In behalf of his cause he stood before men high in authority, but it was hard to find one who would assist him. He especially wished to gain the favour of one certain man, and at last he stood in his private office for the interview which he had sought for so long. The man looked up at him sharply, before he offered him a seat and asked him a certain question. Now to answer this question exactly according to truth, would, without a doubt, the young man thought, prejudice the older man before he had heard the cause. For one instance his mind was confused, and a lie was ready to come from his lips, but he rallied and said to himself, If my cause is just as I think it is, it is able to stand on truth. When looking the man in the eye he told the truth exactly. A look of relief came over the older man's face, and he answered, I have been interested in this matter for some time, but have been unable to find a man who would unflinchingly tell me the truth. I am convinced that you will do that, and am willing to hear your cause. The young man was given a seat, and before he left the private office of the older man, a course of action was mapped out, which in time brought success to his beloved project. Truthfulness does not always meet its reward so suddenly, but the reward will come. The meanest kind of lie is one told deliberately to hurt another person. When the final judgment comes, such lies will be counted in with murder, for the same evil motives lies back of each. In the one the perpetrator had the courage to strike the death-blow, but in the other he was too cowardly to kill outright, so gave a wound in the back from the dark. Would that such lies could be painted in their true colors? The silliest lie is one acted out by a person's pretending to be richer and finer than he is. You have seen such, I know. He is always seeking to be with the rich and distinguished, driving in every possible way to dress as well and appear as wealthy as the other. You will find girls of this class, simpering and mincing along, scarcely recognizing acquaintances who are not well dressed, and lavishing much attention upon any one well dressed and elegant. John, a young friend of mine, once gave a short gruff laugh in his throat when I asked after the welfare of a certain girl, a mutual acquaintance of his and mine. I looked up, surprised at the way he had acted, and found an amused expression in his eyes and about his mouth, and he said, Vest doesn't know me any more when I have my overalls on. I have met her several times on the street when I have had to be out in my work clothes, and she did not recognize me at all. I met her the other day when I was dressed up, and she was as friendly as ever. You know about how a fella feels in the presence of such a person. Poor Vest, every right-thinking person would place the same construction upon her actions as John did. Those of real worth hate such double-facedness. There is an adage which says, Always speak the truth. But we should not construe this to mean that all the truth should always be spoken. There are many things which, though true, are far better unsaid. Unpleasant things will not help along by being told. It is far better to keep silence than by speaking to give offence. Were I looking for a girl to fill a responsible position almost my first question would be, is she truthful? Though she might have the knowledge and ability, might make a good appearance and be ever so pleasing in manner, I would not consider her if her word could not be relied upon. A girl who will not always speak the truth places herself in a position to be continually mistrusted. Nothing will break confidence so quickly as an untruth. It is hard to get back that which is lost when confidence is gone. The best advice for any girl is always to speak the truth from the heart, to love and to keep it as her chief possession, so long as she knows in her own heart that she has been true, that she has not borne false witness nor spoken deceitfully, she can face the world courageously. A bulwark of truth is absolutely necessary to solid worth. A character that lacks the foundation is weak and in time be broken down, no matter how high may be the aspirations and ideals of the girl. Practical everyday truthfulness in little things and great things is the only safe course for a girl to pursue. Hold truth fast, do not let it go. Be honest, be true, and let your words be spoken from the depth of the heart that is not filled with deception. The really truthful person cannot carelessly break a promise. Her word is sacred, and when she has said that she will or will not do anything, she can be depended upon. I have heard mothers say of a daughter. She promised me before she left that she would not go there, and I know she will keep her promise. Always I have thought, O happy mother, your confidence speaks much for your daughter. It is so easy to let a promise slip. First it is given with little consideration. It may be that the girl is pressed to do something which she does not want to do, or is not sure would be right for her to do, and lacking the courage to say no, she promises lightly, never intending to keep her word. It is the easiest way out of her present perplexity, and she makes her fickle promise never thinking that she is laying a weak plank in her character. Again a girl in her thought makes a difference between people. There are certain persons with whom she would be very careful to keep her word, and would be troubled indeed to be compelled to break a promise made to them, while with others she esteems her word lightly. Keeping faith should be held just as sacred with one as another. A promise to mother or little sister should be kept as strictly as if it were made to the most noted person of the city. Promises whose breaking would inconvenience others should be strictly kept. If a girl has promised to meet someone at nine o'clock, at a certain place, she should, if it is possible at all, be there exactly at nine. If she allows herself to think that quarter half past nine will do just as well, she is actually stealing that much of the other person's time. That is both dishonest and untruthful. Another kind of untruth, often indulged in, is the telling of falsehoods to little children to frighten them into obedience. This is very wrong, because of the effect it has upon the character of the one who does it, and upon the child who is thus fooled. There is no angle of life in which truth is not preferable to prevarication. Too high an estimate cannot be set upon it, nor can it be loved with too great a love. CHAPTER 10 SINCERITY And this I pray that ye may be sincere and without offense. To be sincere is to be in reality what one appears to be, not feigned, not assumed, genuine, real, and true. How much value we all place upon sincerity? What a low estimate we place upon the friendship of a person who proves not to be sincere, who, when to her advantage, snubs and ignores us. How we despise the actions of one who is lavish with expressions of love and kindness to our face, but who backbites us in our absence. We care nothing for her friendship, and her very expressions of affection are obnoxious. Is it not true that we expect and demand sincerity of our friends? To be sincere is to be honest, honest with self and honest with others. To be truly honest is not always the easiest path. It is an easy matter to deceive ourselves and to make ourselves believe we are doing right, when down in our hearts we know we are doing wrong. A man might give to a good cause and make himself believe he is doing right. When deep in his heart he must know he gives to gain praise of the people. A girl might make herself think she is studying because she has bent over a book, when she knows her thoughts are all upon the party to which she is going. A boy may make himself think he is smart, and manly because he smokes. When deep down in his heart he knows he is being both disobedient and deceitful. There are indeed many ways one may deceive himself. Sometimes men have given liberally to a good cause, hoping that their good deed would even up an act of dishonesty. Many a church or hospital or school has been endowed because the giver thought his doing so would smother his feelings of regret, or soothe the fretting of a wounded conscience. Temptation to such insincerity has come to us in little things or greater, but the sincere heart will not yield. To be honest with self means to look things over with an unfaithful heart and to do right because it is right. When we do good that we might appear right in spite of deception in the heart we deceive ourselves. If we are trying this our true selves will come out when we least expect it. Perhaps more people deceive themselves than are ever deceived by others. It pays to be honest with ourselves all the time. It is just as necessary to be honest towards others in every act. It was a bitterly cold morning, and Betty buttoned her coat up close to her throat, as she knew her mother wished her to do. But it was not because of the cold that she obeyed her mother so carefully about her coat. That morning she had put on a blouse, which her mother had asked her not to wear to school, and the buttoned coat hid it from her mother's eyes. Betty was both disobedient and dishonest. We sometimes think that honesty pertains only to money matters. It is true that we should always be honest to the last penny in all business dealings, but honesty also touches every other department of life. To copy or to take advantage in any other way at school in order to gain a grade is just as dishonest in its nature as to steal, or to forge a note. The principle is the same, the difference being only in the magnitude of the deed. To take advantage of the teacher's back being turned to play pranks is also dishonest. To pretend friendship, which one does not feel, to smile and approve to the face and laugh to the back. To be too faced in anything is mean and dishonest. Honest or dishonesty is shown in every little act of life. It is the honest boy or girl who makes the honest citizen. They are the ones whose lives and influence amount to real good in the world's work. To be sincere is to be hearty. That is, to enter into all we do with all our might. She who is sincere will give the best of herself to whatever work she undertakes. Even the umblest tasks become noble if they are performed heartily. It is a pleasure to watch a girl wash dishes or sweep a floor if she does it with a hearty goodwill. As for practicing music or studying a lesson, more will be accomplished in half the time if the work is undertaken heartily. The girl who does her work that way is a bit of sunshine in the home. God bless her. She is a comfort and joy. The sincere girl always makes a satisfactory worker wherever she is put. She does her work with a reasonable degree of rapidity and with a will as if she enjoyed it. Whether she works in an office, in the school room, in the factory or in the kitchen, whether her work brings her good pay or whether she is a busy home-toiler who gets only her board and clothes, if she is sincere and willing she will be a success. Her eye is not on the clock to see if her time is about up, but her whole attention is upon what she is doing. Other people are hearty in their friendships. Did you ever put your hand into the hand of a friend and have her grasp it with a hearty goodwill and look you in the face with a friendly greeting? Did it not do you good? It does others just as much good if you greet them heartily. Again, I have offered my hand to women who gave me the tips of their fingers in a delicate, afraid-of-you manner that chilled all my ardor. I did not like it and others will not like it if you meet them that way. The handshake is quite an index to people's hearts. Those who are hearty and sincere are not afraid to let you know it. To be sincere is to be unfaigned. No pretension, no putting on. The girl who is sincere means every word she says when she is expressing love and friendship. I need not fear that she is only trying to make an impression on me, nor that she is getting my confidence only to ridicule me later. She is no turncoat and no traitor. It seems to me a girl can have no greater fault than feigning friendship and affection she does not feel. Those who are sincere are real. They are real friends, real students, real sisters, real Christians. To be sincere is to be frank. Frankness helps a girl to speak right out from the heart what she thinks and feels. But there is a very unpleasant trait that sometimes passes as frankness. That is a disposition to say cutting things. There are many things that are better left unsaid. Even those circumstances have given ample room for severe criticism. It is better to keep the bitter word unsaid and to speak kindly. Frankness does not mean that we shall tell people what we think of them and their doings on all occasions. True frankness shows in clear honest eyes and in a gaze of purity and truth, which brings confidence to all who see it. It will speak out of the eyes when the lips are silent. She who is frank keeps nothing back that changes the meaning of what she says. Beautiful girlhood can hold no more attractive nor lovable trait than sincerity. When a girl can look with honest eyes and perfect sincerity into life and can meet the temptations that are sure to come with a heart sincerely set to do God's will, that girl will succeed. Her life will be a blessing to many. Old and young will be encouraged and strengthened by her presence and friendship. End of Chapter 10 Chapter 11 of Beautiful Girlhood This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Beautiful Girlhood by Mabel Hale Chapter 11 Ideals Strength and Honor Are Her Clothing What is your aim in life? Or rather, what would you have your life to be if you could have the choosing? What kind of life looks the best and most desirable to you? What are your ideals? An ideal is a mental conception of perfection. It is a picture in the mind of things as we should like to have them. Every girl has her ideals, and in one way or another is working toward them. She may be careless and hardly conscious of what she is doing. Yet certainly she is following after her ideal. She has in her mind the picture of the woman she wants to be. No girl can rise higher than her ideals. The ideal, one has in mind, is the limit of perfection to that person. It is impossible to attain to higher things than we strive for. And few, oh, so few, even reach their ideals. So it is imperative that a girl set before her good and pure ideals. That she set her mark high. It is better to aim at the impossible than to be content with the inferior. Every girl is a woman in the making. Sometimes she will stand in a woman's place and take a woman's responsibilities. And now, while she is a girl, she is forming the character that shall be hers through womanhood. Her ideals are shaping her life. What is an ideal woman? What sort of woman do you most admire? Who among your acquaintances seems the most admirable to you? Consider her life work, her manner of speech, her influence upon those about her. Think of her as a housewife and a mother. Is your ideal woman loud-spoken, or is her voice pitch low and sweet? Does she criticise others quickly and sharply, or has she always a good word for everyone? Is her dress quiet and becoming, or dashing and bold? Is she conspicuous for the ornaments and jewels upon her person, or is her adornment that of a quiet Christian spirit? Is she a leader in society or a quiet homebody? Is she a teacher, a housewife, or a businesswoman? Is she an actress or a movie star? Is she earnest and sincere, or light and frivolous? Whatever she is you admire, she is your ideal, and deep in your heart you wish to be like her. Because she is your ideal, your pattern of womanhood, you will be putting on ways like hers. Out of these many traits let us together choose the ideal woman. First of all, she should be earnest and sincere. Her truly ideal woman will not be silly or frivolous, nor will she be guilty of actions that appear vulgar or unwomanly. She must be sweet-voiced and gentle. How a loud, boisterous woman jars on our feelings. She must always have a kind word for others, not a person who will unjustly criticise behind her back. Her clothes are womanly and becoming, for our ideal woman will not wear anything that will cause others to jest and joke at her appearance. She will be known for the beauty of her character, rather than the richness of her clothes or ornaments. Her face may be pretty, or it may not be. She should be home-loving and a lover of little children. She must be tender-hearted and sympathetic. She must be the kind of woman to whom one could come with her troubles. True-hearted and loyal in friendship. Her breaking faith. She must be a Christian, serving God sincerely. With such a pattern before her any girl will be safe. But girls are liable, if they are not guided carefully, to become blinded by the glitter and gloss of things that are not pure gold. The dressy extravagant woman, the social queen, or the girl seen oftenest on the screen at the picture show, becomes brighter lit than the noble women whose lives are telling for good. You, my little friend, choose well, for she whom you choose becomes your pattern. A right ideal is worth striving for. The best cannot be obtained without effort. Effort costs something. We do not drift to the best that is in us, but we gain the higher places by steep, hard climbing. Every girl has much within her to be overcome, and much to be developed. If her ideals lie in gaining culture and education, then must come years of hard study and application. If her aspirations run out to music, drawing, painting, sculpture, these accomplishments are perfected only after years of hard work. Does she aspire to be a housewife and mother? Then she must learn those homely arts that are woman's part in homemaking. Perhaps this latter vocation takes more earnest application and persistent effort than any other. For home touches the life so closely everywhere. Does our girl aspire to be pure and noble? Then she must give up all that defiles and leave it out of her life. It is not enough to have good ideals. There must be a careful and persistent effort to live up to them. To keep these ideals perfect often costs the sacrifice of other things that seem pleasant. Like the merchant of old who found a pearl of greatest price and sold all that he had to purchase it, so a girl, to keep her ideals pure, must be willing to give for that, all else, and a girl will sacrifice much for her ideal, be it good or bad. It is not enough to strive for a life morally pure and noble. That is good. But the truly ideal life is one lived for God. A life which does not, in word and deed, reflect the life and teachings of Christ, fails that much in being ideal. I never think of one who stands by her Christian ideals, but that I remember a girl I knew years ago. She was a happy blue-eyed girl with high ideals of morality and godliness, and with a purpose to be true to these in all her conduct. She had kept company with a young man for some time, and they had become engaged to be married, and she gave him her whole heart's love. But he was not a Christian, and as their acquaintance became more intimate, he saw more and more her determination to be guided in everything by her pattern, Christ. He loved the things of this life, and desired that their lives together should be gay and full of worldly pleasure. While he saw plainly that her mind ran to things spiritual, he thought it best for them to understand before marriage that their lives were not to be religious, but should be given to the things he loved. So one evening he told her plainly his position. Her blue eyes opened wide in astonishment that he should set before her such a choice, for he had said that if she were not willing to give up her religion she must give him up. She was disappointed, for she had hoped to win him for the Lord. But her answer came firmly from her heart. I will not give up my Lord for any man. This decision cost her his friendship and the fulfillment of all the hopes and plans they had built, but she had in her heart the consciousness of having stood by her convictions. And you too must stand by your convictions at the cost of things you love. An ideal is worth little if it is not worth whole-hearted, honest effort. Nothing is more pitiful than a woman whose mind admires purity and right, yet whose will is too weak to choose them and whose life is blighted by sin and mire about her. Be true, be noble, aim high, and God will give you the strength to keep your ideals. CHAPTER 12 Ambition And if a man also strives for masteries, yet is he not crowned, he strives lawfully. After discussing ideals it seems right that we should next consider her sister, Ambition. They are much alike, yet they are very different. Ideals are mental pictures, which, without the aid of Ambition, and that stronger characteristic yet, purpose, would remain upon the walls of your mind until they faded away with age and would never change the course of your life. An Ambition comes in with eager desire and strives to make these pictures come true in life. Ambition is the ever-seeking, that which is just ahead and out of reach. To her, who is following her Ambition, there is no stopping, no lying down, no being quiet, but she must pursue her dreams and force them to come true. She sees no chance of failure if she strives. We generally speak of Ambition as eager desire for preferment, honor, and power. She who is ambitious desires the best for herself. She wishes to rise high, to accomplish things, to be useful, and to be a person of some account in the world. Stagnation and uselessness she abhors. There are two kinds of Ambition. The one is right and just, and a necessity to the growth and development of any person. Without right Ambitions, life must be a failure. This Ambition makes a girl want to bring out the best that is in her. She who is fired by these desires will work and labor and study that she may advance, may grow in learning and ability. She is not thinking particularly of outstripping others, but of going to the highest point possible for herself. She is able all the time to appreciate the efforts and success of others, and rejoices in their advancement. Such Ambition can never be wrong. But the other Ambition rises from a different motive. The desire is not so much for goodness and excellence in themselves as for the honor and praise such excellence might bring. Such Ambition is satisfied with that which is inferior if it only surpasses what others have. In fact, this Ambition feeds only on the failure and disconfiture of others. She who possesses it wants to outshine her peers, to rise higher, to be more in the limelight than the rest. This Ambition will cause a girl to steal, or even to sell her honor, that she may have means to clothe herself better than others. And they who are fired with this unholy Ambition will not shrink from perjury and falsehood to put down one who is opposed to them or promises to outstrip them. Every girl's Ambitions run more freely in certain directions. She who lives on a lower level is ambitious to be pretty, witty and attractive. She is busy trying to win the praise and flattery of her acquaintances, to be thought the most beautiful, the most attractive, the best dressed, the best liked, the most sought-after girl of her set. And if she gains her goal and realizes the fullness of her Ambitions, she has but a handful of husks for her reward. Other Ambitions rise to a higher level, and the girl moved by them seeks to have ability in some useful and remunerative occupation. She seeks to become a nurse, a physician, a businesswoman or teacher, or to be a good housewife and mother. These are all good, noble callings, and if followed after with honest Ambition and purpose will bring usefulness and happiness into her life. But the highest Ambition asks that the life of our girl be given for the good of mankind, that she be of all the service possible and in the best possible manner. If this Ambition is linked with a life wholly given to God, then all her life will indeed be worthwhile. Now we come to unrequited Ambitions. We look upon those things that have been desired and attempted, but never attained or accomplished. If these disappointments could all be brought together into one great pile, the mountain would fill all the earth. Here is the girl who wanted to go to college, but had to begin teaching school. The boy who wanted to be a doctor, but was forced by circumstances to keep right on at the farm work. The man who in youth desired to be a great traveler, but who has never been out of his home state. The woman who wanted to be a great writer, but whose hands are busy only with the cares of an unappreciative household. Few there are indeed who have been able to accomplish all they desired, and whose Ambitions have been realized in life. But this picture is not all dark. It is so short, and lacks so much in experience, and is able to look only one way, and therefore is liable to mistakes. The Ambitions may be running in directions that are practically impossible of accomplishments, or may be Ambitions which, if realized, would not be the best for the individual. So it is well that over us a wise providence guides and directs, suiting to each one of us the path that is ours through life. It is only when Ambition dies and we cease to care or try that our lives become useless. Suppose a fire hidden away in the furnace should go out because it cannot realize its Ambition of setting the mill on fire. Or suppose the mainspring of the watch should break because it cannot become the hands or face. Mill and watch would stop, for these hidden forces held so resolutely in check are what move them, and so the life that seems to be hampered and held back from doing what is in it to do may be the very one that is furnishing force for others to work upon. Let Ambition burn, never give up, fight against the odds that are against you, and you will grow stronger for what you have conquered. I would have you ambitious so long as your Ambitions are just and noble, but I would not have you rise by putting others down. If Ambition should die in youth, or if youth should lack Ambition, the wills of progress would stop. All the wisdom and knowledge of the world would grow dim and pass away, and man would sink to his lowest level. But so long as the eye of youth is fired with those inner flames of Ambition and purpose, and there are fields of knowledge and understanding yet to be explored, that long will the world's work move on unhindered. End of Chapter 12 CHAPTER XIII THE POWER OF PURPOSE He exhorted them all, that with purpose of heart they would cleave unto the Lord. Much depends upon the height of the aspirations to which the mind and heart go in girlhood. The dreams of doing or being that which is noble and great, of accomplishing much, are a spur to every girl. And would you, my dreamers, have your dreams come true? There are three things which in the life of any girl will make her a success. The first two we have already discussed. Pure ideals and noble ambitions. And the third is a strong purpose. It is almost impossible to estimate the power of purpose in life. Things thought out of reason have been accomplished through purpose. Kingdoms have been torn down and built again. Heathen customs have been uprooted and the light of Christianity put in their places. And born under the bondage of hard and unfavorable circumstances have risen above their environments and become powers in the world. The mysteries of the earth and sky have been sought out and their power put to work for mankind. Yes, every great and noble deed that has ever been done has had for its captain and soldiers, men and women of strong purpose. A purpose in life gives something to live for, something to work for, and something to hope for. If the purpose be for good cause, then the evil that would hinder can be overcome and the good prevail. But without this strong purpose the individual becomes but a creature of circumstance, a chip tossed by the waves of life. The power of purpose is the power of love. No man can cleave to any purpose with all his heart unless he loves the cause for which he strives. He must so love that cause that to give it up would be like giving up his very life. I once read of a woman upon a lonely ranch in a foreign land. Her husband had to go away for a week or more, leaving her alone for that time with her little children. He had not been gone long before she was bitten by a poisonous serpent, and she knew that in a few hours, not more than eight, she must die. She remembered her children, and that if they were to be kept safe, she must in the time left her, draw enough water and bake enough bread to supply them until their father returned, or he might find his family all dead. So she worked and prayed that day, sick, fainting, almost unconscious. But love set her purpose strong, and she struggled on. It came, and her hours were nearly up. She put her babes in bed, and wandered out of sight of the cabin to die, but with a determination to live as long as possible for her children's sake. And mourning found her still alive, still walking, and her system beginning to clear from the poison. She lived to tell the story, a monument to the power of a loving purpose. Students who have made a success in anything have done so because they set about the task with purpose. All the great machines that lighten the burden of labor in the fields and shops and factories are the result of the steady purpose of their inventors. No man or woman has become of note in any work or field of research, but has worked on with steady purpose when circumstances were discouraging. They loved sincerely the cause for which they labored, and they gave it their attention in spite of all that came to hinder them. And you, my little friend, can make your life successful if you set to it with the power of purpose. When you know what your chosen field is, where your life work will be, and what you want your life to accomplish, set to with all your might, and fight till the victory comes. But make your purpose worthy. It is a shame to waste the power of energy of purpose upon those things that are selfish and of little worth. Undertake great things, things that make one's life bigger and broader, and that are a blessing to others. One writer has said that without a strong and noble purpose a person is like a lizard, content to stay in the mud, and strong purpose helps him to rise like the eagle out of the shadows of the valleys, up to the sunlight on the mountaintops, and to claim them as his own. Every life that has been a failure has been so because of the lack of purpose behind it. Success is not always counted by dollars, nor by worldly honors, but in the achievement of noble and unselfish purposes. It is purpose in life that gives an individual decision and determination. Every one of us must meet hard things. Success does not come down upon us as rain out of heaven. If we are to have success we must draw it ourselves, out of the wealths of life. If we are only half in earnest and our purpose is only a desire, then when the sun comes down upon us, burning and smothering us, and we feel tired from our efforts, we will give up. But if our desire becomes a steady purpose to be successful in the thing we have undertaken, then we will not mind the sun and the heat and our weariness, but will work on with our purpose before us. We will keep a strong determination to succeed in what we have undertaken. Success depends upon your purpose in life. I shall ask you again. What are you living for? What is your purpose in life? When I last talked with my friend Betty on this subject, she folded her hands and laughed as she said, I just live and have a good time. I really have no thoughts about these things. And there are myriads of girls just like her. But sometimes she will awaken to her responsibility, for her mother is yet the one whose purpose and decision are the groundwork for success in Betty's life. Sometime all you girls with patient, firm, determined mothers will awaken to see that they are not just trying to hamper your good times by their much overseeing of your affairs, but that they were holding to a wise and loving purpose to see you safely into womanhood. I think that mothers see the hardest times when the girls set with purpose of heart to have their own way in something foolish and wrong. When two strong purposes come together, the battle waxes hot. Do you wonder what sometimes makes mothers sigh? You have the reason right here. I will if I can is a good sounding motto and shows a kind spirit. But I can if I will and I will is the old fellow who gets things done. You have heard the little poem about the man who undertook to do a thing that could not be done and did it. You can almost see the bit of a grin as he waited right in and the look of relief and joy when he did it. Have a purpose and stay with it. Keep on going.