 ejaculated so aggressively that one of his testicles actually, like, popped out of his cock hole. Oh, yeah, I'm, like, hesitant to watch Corpse Porn. Yuck! Welcome to episode number six of the Kliersh Niyafokkorey Mahesh Fuly Knair Papai Niyah. We're coming straight out of the house. Hampton. Excuse me? On this episode is a crazy one, right? We got a lot of crazy shit going on. We got questions we're going to answer. We got a science time is back. We got a PO box, which it's a bit sad, by the way, I'm holding up two letters, so send us some shit. Otherwise, we're going to have to pretend that you guys are sending shit and send us stuff ourselves. And then there's a prank call. Yeah, there's just so many. It's just fucking nuts. But anyway, coronavirus. Marty spiked me on the weekend with two caps. Not just one, two caps after me taking a cap, half an hour before I was spiked with two caps. So we went out to the coast for a friends party and Michael's a hole and I don't want to do drugs while I'm out because his face just melts when he's had MDMA and it looks disgusting. It's fucking disgusting. He looks like someone you just want to shake until they just pass out. Like it's just fucking disgusting. Did you see it? Did it come out? I can't really remember. Not much. You've definitely been much worse. Anyway, so a few of us were spiking Michael's drink and it was very funny. Don't ever do that, obviously. We do it so you don't have to do it. I was just seeing what it was like to spike someone so that I could report to you guys what it's like. And it's funny, but it's probably not worth the danger. I don't remember shit either and I just remember sitting there going, how the fuck can I get this month of one cap? Yeah, it was very funny. I was laughing a lot behind your back. Imagine if I died, as Matt said. Yeah, I know. That would have been like the ultimate prank. The icing on top of the cake. Oh, a prank gone wrong in brackets. I killed my mate. We bought weapons today. Yeah, so coronavirus is here. It's fucking shit up. By the time you listen to this, it'll be a week after we bought these weapons and then we'll see. We'll see if we were right in buying these weapons. We also bought some canned food and stuff like that. And you guys are the problem. We have to panic buy because everyone else is panic buying. If we don't panic buy, there'll be nothing left to buy. So we also have to panic buy. So everyone out there, panic, panic, panic, get to the stores, buy as much as you can, buy any food that'll last longer than a few months. Quickly, go and buy it, buy some weapons because it'll definitely be looting. Start looting, start looting. You can even, why not? Any businesses close down? Assault, attack, attack. Get there, get it done. Quickly, hide, attack. Anyway, so that's shit talk for the week. And I bought a tent. I got four cases of beer. We should have fucking got more. That's something that lasts like a week. Four large bottles of weed oil as well. Yeah. So, you know, we're prepared if worse comes to worse and we have to stay indoors. We'll still be able to make videos and film podcasts, which is lovely. By the way, if you're isolated because of coronavirus. Sucked in. Sucked in. But to make it better, our website, six hours, six hours of unseen content on there now. That's almost two weeks hours. That's like two evenings worth. And it's only $5 US a month. You could even, oh, I don't get the idea. Which is like $100 Australian. It's going to say just sign up and then watch it all and then just fucking cancel your subscription. No, you can't. If you want to just sign up, binge watch everything and then unsubscribe, go for it. I don't care. That'd be pretty sad. It's fine. No. All that work for five bucks. The other thing about the website is we do a monthly Q&A and you get to join a cute little Facebook group where, you know, you can talk to us. So, it's not just content. But yeah, if you want to do that, go for it. Yeah. I guess it's better than nothing. People do it with Netflix and Stan all the time. You might as well do it with our shit. Yeah. Fuck it. Do it. Cancel. Cancel everyone. Cancel their fucking subscription. Yeah, this podcast is sponsored by the University of Markle website. So, if you want to support the podcast, sign up to the website six hours and two weekly videos a week. That's strong. There's like what normally one extended cut from all the sites or and we're going to start filming website exclusive shit only soon, right? So, there'll be like shit you can't see anywhere else. Anyway, enough of that plugging that. I feel a bit sick plugging it so aggressively. But just do it. Just do it. Yeah, what? It's yeah, just if you don't like it, you can unsubscribe. All the feedback is pretty good though. Anyway, next segment is named and this is just a segment where we answer questions that you guys have sent in by Instagram. We're just about to hit a meal. Wait. Oh, let's watch. Let's see if we have. All right. Let's see if we've hit one million on Instagram. 99936 is upside down. Let's see what happened. We're on 9999,200 followers before this podcast started. So, by the time you hear this, we'll be well over. Yeah, we'll probably be at two mil. At the moment. Oh, we're so close. We've gone up another 500 followers. We need two hundred and two hundred and two fifty. By the end of this podcast, we should be on a million. Holy shit. That's cool. By the way, maybe then we'll be happy. By the way, I forgot to do on this day. So, Matt's carefully, you know, it takes him. I've seen him. I've seen he comes. He comes over at about 11 a.m. and starts researching for the on this day. He leaves wholesome way early. Yeah. Yeah. He pretends that he just tells them that he's like, you know, busy in a meeting or something and then leaves. Hasn't been caught yet. And then he comes here early to write these on this days. So, you know, and it takes a fair bit of research like some of this stuff I've never heard of. Some of this stuff doesn't make the news. So, Matt Brown has come up with these on this days. Matt Brown from wholesome. Matthew Brown wrote this. No one else. Matthew Gregory Brown. On this day in 1965, Harvey Weinstein witnessed his father sucking himself off. Whoa. I'm sure it didn't really affect him. Yeah, no. He probably some way. Maybe. I don't even know you could do that. Well, you think that he just started hacking into himself. Try. Try to suck yourself off. I have now. I know I'd have to get my legs up over. I can. You can lick the knob. Michael can lick his knob. Yeah. It's difficult. Try it adults, not kids. All right. Next one. On this day in 1921, Bruce Willis was born as a 28 year old man and only started ageing again in the early 90s. So, he was 28. He's been 28 for the big chunk of his life. So, there you go. I didn't know that. We have always been massive fans of Bruce Willis. Yeah. And like, you know, something a little fact like that just sort of, you know. What a good guy. He's born. He feels so safe. Male, female, kid, adult. Killed his mother. Killed his mother at birth because, you know, as a 28 year old man climbing out of here. He was a big lad and he still looks good. Yeah. He still looks. Yeah. It's good. Bruce Willis. He's just above us. Bruce Willis watches the show, mate. Bruceie, mate. It looks like we're not going to be able to make it to LA anytime soon, but mate, you hang on to that, buddy. You keep those beers cold, mate, because I'll tell you what, August, September, mate, we'll come knocking at your door, brother. I put us in the granny flat like you did last time, mate, because this one's going to piss your couch again. We'll play some darts. We'll play some darts. Fucking Bruceie. On this day in 1879, floods were invented when this dude left the hose on and fell asleep. Fuck. That's how it was. 1879. So that's how it was. What about Noah? I think that's a myth. It's just a stupid, dumb, stupid lie. Fake news. Imagine if Noah was listening. Actually, I'm pretty sure he does listen to the podcast. I'm pretty sure Donald Trump is Noah. Yeah. I think. Storm's coming. All right. Last one on this day from Matthew Brown from Halson. On this day in 2020, very recently, I carefully placed a marble in my arse and felt it slide up into my body. Even now, as I write this, I'm overcome with anxiety as I'm not quite sure what to do. Did it ever come out? Matt, and he signed it off Matt Brown at the end just to show that he's definitely written this. Did it? It's not really like an on this day, Matt, but like, yeah. There was a time so we can connect here, Matt. Disgusting. I was in year 10, and I was trying to press the boys in the schoolyard as you do, and like, no one, everyone, there was a 5 cent coin. No one wanted to swallow it. I was like, fuck it. I'll just do it. So I swallowed the 5 cent coin and I never, ever saw it again. Matt, similar to your story just now that you've written for us to read on the podcast. I saw the marble again. Oh, you lucky. Imagine if there was still a 5 cent coin. In your body. Could be. That's smart. Yeah. I'm a bank. He's a piggy bank. It might explain the hemorrhoids. Yeah, right now, after the big bender we had on the weekend, I now have a hemorrhoid forming. Can you show us? It's uncomfortable. I'll show you. You can have a look. All right, I'll try and describe it for those listening. I've seen it many times before. It looks like a pea-sized flesh ball. You can stand a little further away from me if you could. Yeah, I can see one forming on the upper right quadrant of his asshole. Remember yesterday we wrote yours. Purple in color and like a little, like a pea, pushing through, pushing up against the skin. That's what it looks like, like a pea. Because remember how yesterday I was like, oh man, my arm is burning? Yeah. Because of jalapenos and obviously there's blood and shit in a hemorrhoid forming. Yeah. So now that's why it was burning all day. Yeah, we figured it out. Thank God. Science. But yeah, that's my life. Anyway, on to the questions. Let's get on to the questions. I'm all good. Okay. First question is from TSIMASPAVLOS. This question is for your next podcast. Why aren't you guys verified yet? You are such good at YouTubers, but not verified. Just makes no sense. Hope you do get verified. Love you both. Always making me laugh. We, look, it's not, it's not, on Instagram you need a lot of media, mainstream media, attention to be verified. Like a lot of it. We've had a small amount, but not a lot. And I know we have a lot of followers, but we've only had that account. That our Instagram account is only a year and six months old, a year and a half old, and we're on a mill. So the number doesn't really matter. The number doesn't really matter. All that matters is the media attention. There are people on like 5,000 followers who are verified, just because they've been in the news a bit, a fair bit. So it's just a waiting game. It's just a waiting game, but you know. Maybe with that billboard. Yeah, you'd think so, but I'm starting to get a bit. Um, no one fucking cares about a billboard when the coronavirus is destroying 80 year olds. Yeah, we're about to go into isolation like everyone in the country. So we've bought, we've spent so much money on, you did dickhead, not me. We've, we together, joint decision, spent all this money on all these billboards. And now no one is going to be driving past them. You know what I mean? Tosed to convince me in private later. Oh dude, it'll be, you know, tax deductible. Yeah. And we'll, you know, eventually help with fucking, but I dipped into my, oh, you owe me money. He owes me my ID to dip into. I don't want to get into it, but yeah, I've sent him an invoice. I looked good though. So thank you. But yeah, no one's going to see it. So we don't get any fucking growth. All right, next question. So yeah, we will get verified eventually, but I mean, it might take just a little bit TJ Venak. He's asked, this is a question for Michael. We have seen you eat a lot of shit in your day. If you had to pick a certain type of shit to eat, what kind of shit do you prefer? Great question. Dog. Dog shit. Because dog shit, there's something up, up with human shit. It's, it's more fucked than animal shit. I reckon. Can I ask a side question about shit? Just wondering, how many different species of shit have you eaten? Obviously human and dog. I think it's just human and dog. No, surely there's been something else. What about birds that you've sucked? Birds, no. I think it's been like, there's been two occasions with dog shit. One for a video, one at kick-ons. And then one occasion when we're in Europe, I think we told this story in a previous podcast where I just wanted you guys to get up and go to the bar at 7 a.m. So he ate shit. He's on shit. My own shit in a hostel in front of many, many strangers. I would think that a dried cow pat, like it'd be dry in your mouth, but flavorless and poor shit would be doable, I reckon, because it is just grass. I haven't eaten cow shit, but I've been around, you know, cows. You've been inside where they shit from. Stood in it, I've wrestled in it, I've ejaculated on it. And it's always, you know, odorless, flavorless. I haven't tasted it, but I've had my face smushed into it when I was locked in a battle with a heifer, a large heifer, and she was the leader of her herd. And it took a good hour struggle. Did you win? Yeah. Yeah, all one. Did she get some good hits on you though? Oh man, she was strong, can't I? She had me pinned down in her own shit. Yeah, that's fucked your pride. But then how did you get it back? It filled me with rage when she had a hoof on my skull, pushing it into her shit. But then I just grabbed it and with my other hand, I smashed her knee joint, so it snapped the knee. And that was the turning point in the... She couldn't keep her body when she snapped it. And then she fell to the ground and then, yeah, I sort of twisted the broken leg and pulled it up as hard as I could. And then, yeah, I took over. Did you take her life? Well, I left her in a pretty bad way. She was still breathing, but it was shallow deep breaths and she was gargling blood in her lungs. So, you know, chances are she's gone. But, you know... It's their own, right? All fair and love and war, brother. She is to that heft. I reckon horse shit would be the easiest to eat. But she's small. Oh yeah, but it's so fucking gunky. I want dry poo. Dry poo's nice. Yeah, dry poo would be nice. That was better than wet poo. Yeah, it's hard to do that. It's a hard stunt to fully commit to swallowing this shit. Hurts. Like, because then for like half an hour an hour, hours after, every burp tastes like shit. Yeah, I remember. God damn it. Anyway, I'm fine. I'm fine. I'm happy. Bentley, with two Y's, dot one has asked. Here's a good question, lads. Has the billboards helped your channel since you put them up? Not really, no. We haven't noticed any. The video was good. The video did good and is doing well, but it's slowed down a lot. But no, the billboards haven't really done shit. Yeah, I guess we sort of spoke about that. I think we got a few more listeners on podcast. If you're a listener from the billboards, comment on the YouTube channel. Hey, mate. Yeah, just letting you know here that, oh, look, I listened to your podcast where you asked us to comment if we're a listener from the billboards. And you wanted me to comment exactly what I'm saying right now. And look, yeah, listen, mate. Yeah, I saw you from the next question. If you come from the billboards, comment that on the next, on this podcast on the YouTube channel. Does that make sense? I think so. Yeah, comment that. Bailey. I'm Bailey. This is Michael's boyfriend's cousin. Yeah, look, he's cousin. Yeah. He's asked, what do you do since there are no shit tickets left? I personally like to grab the peanut butter and go into the dog kennel. The rest is history. What's shit tickets? What's shit tickets? Oh, toilet paper. Of course. I've got this shit. Yeah, it's not a concern. Shower. Have a little rinse, wipe your bum. Yeah, you think like, yeah. Oh, shit in the shower. Well, we'll shit in the toilet because usually toilets are very close to showers and then just walk to the shower and rinse your asshole. It's nice just shitting and wiping in the shower. Worst case scenario, I would just have a shit towel and then just wash it once every two days. Wow, I didn't even think of that for the family perspective. Yeah, that's so smart. Or a shirt, like one of Mon's dresses. Oh, man, we're going to need some of those dresses that the need charge for this. The material is like would be perfect. It would, you know, a lot of friction. So it would grip onto a lot of the mess. Anyway, next question. This one is from Sam underscore W underscore Nora. Do you know how much joy and positivity you guys actually spread? If yes, then how much? It's a pretty good question. There's a lot. We spread a lot of love, a lot of joy. We make the world a better place. You know, people are always like, oh, they're so dumb. Oh, like, oh, you're so lucky. Look how lucky you are. You get to do that. You get to do all that. Like where first of all, yeah, I have no idea the fucking sacrifices. No idea. All right, this one's from Callum dot McCarvey. There's another couple of balls in the car. Babe, I'm starting to suck up for coronavirus. How does it feel to be the best at everything? Yeah, it's normal. It's good. But now shit's hitting the fan. It's like, oh, fuck, of course, as soon as we become the best man ever, everything goes to shit. Yeah, well, like, we, you know, it's not, you know, it's not that bad, though. But it's you'll be fine. It's normal. The economy and fucking everything's going to be out of bounds. How does that feel for us personally, being the best, you know, some of the best? Empty still. I'm still, well, yeah, like, it's not, it's not fulfilling. It's just normal now. Like, we just are like the best. But at the end of the day, if you don't, if your goal isn't to be the best man in the world, then being the best man in the world isn't going to really do it for you. So that's sort of where we're at. You know what I mean? That's not our end goal. When we started, we weren't like, oh, we're just going to be the best in the world. We were already. This is no one new. We just happened. We just happened to become the best in the world, the fucking very best in the world. Shit's a bit fucked right now. But like, yeah, we'll be back to the very best. It's just all this coronavirus stuff just really makes it hard to be the best. Yeah. And we had a break from, we had a break from the podcast. So we sort of, I don't know, we lost our train of thought. And we've done a lot of, you know, a lot of a lot of drugs and, and, you know, we've you got King here and that sort of fucked shit up for a while. Yeah, it slowed me down for a week. Like right in the back locked jaw as well hitting the back and he got a locked jaw just Mac Mac his chips. Yeah. I don't know. It's like normal, normal, but it's okay. Being the best is normal to us. Yeah. That is our answer to that question. Atomic coffee heart. Does Michael dislike the feeling of having toenails? That's what we forgot to mention, Michael. I'm in agony right now. Can we show them on the podcast? Yeah, yeah. I'll start explaining the story. You see if you can twist your leg up so that people watching on YouTube can see this. So on the, on the weekend when we're out drinking this is after you spiked me. Yeah. So Michael's been spiked by someone not no one's sure who and then oh fuck me dude. And then, you know, there was other people there that we hadn't met before some of our friends, friends, right? And one of them asked Michael, oh, you know, is this shit you do like real man? Like it seems crazy and seems like it's too crazy to be real. Then to prove that we what we do is legitimate. Michael took his sock off and his shoe off and tore his big toenail off. Similar to what he did in one of our very ever first viral videos. And now he's been in agony ever since throbbing. At night's the worst because you've settled down. No one, no party, your body's moving. So everything in your brain just goes straight to your toe. Can you imagine being that sucks, dude? Imagine being that guy that he fucking asks, like, is what you do real? And then you rip a ton like and just for him. I know we didn't even film it just for that one person film it because I was spiked. So I wasn't thinking straight. Yeah, well, you shouldn't have been spiked maybe underscored. Joshua Todd's asked how much money would it take for you to chop off your middle toe? Middle toe, I'd do it for I do it. It'd have to be a fair bit now. Ask me two years ago. I mean, 10 grand, you would middle, middle toe, middle toe, 10 grand. I reckon now 100k. Yeah, depends on how you do it too. Yeah, yeah, it'd have to be I'd prefer to have it surgically removed. I take a reduction in payment to have it surgically removed. I do 90k for a surgery, 100k for just like a guillotine thing that someone just presses. I probably do 50k for surgically removed. They knock you out, you wake up and your toes gone, you get painkillers from a doctor. 30k. That's a win. 20k. 15k. I'll do it for 10k. I'll do it. Let's do it now. Any doctors listening? I'll do it for 5k. I'll pay you to do it to me. $500. I'll pay you to do it to me. Done. So $200. All right. So we'd pay 200 bucks to get our middle toe chopped off. Exactly. Sam underscore king.81. Hey guys, I was just going to ask a question for your podcast. Has anyone ever gotten angry at you for doing your science experiments? And what happened? Sorry, not a great question. Hey, it's not bad. That's different. That's not bad. That's not bad. A lot of the shit they send in is the same questions. So this is nice. No, because science would normally keep it away from the public. We've had the cops call on us during science experiments, but when they rock up and see that we're just fucking retards who just don't even really know how to speak, they're like, oh, there's just some kids playing in the backyard. That's sort of how they talk to us. Oh, are you having a fun day? Hey, are you playing with balloons or something? All right, we'll have a good day. Try and keep it down. I say they talk to us. So we've had cops call with noise complaints, but the science experiments, we don't involve the public because no one needs to be exposed to that sort of high level research and science. They wouldn't get it. It's just confusing to people. That's why cops get called. It's just too fucking, it's too much shock. People think that we're wizards or something. People think, oh, there's two wizards out the front performing miracles. That's very common feedback that we get when police come to talk to us. So yeah, and in a way, I'm trying to stay humble, but in a way, we are wizards. We are magicians. Well, I bought a crystal ball. And we are so intelligent. Our intelligence is on a different level. It's hard for you fucking idiots, everyone, most people to relate to. Most people are just normal and we're just triple, quadruple that. It's hard to explain unless you have this high level cogs turning genius. Heaps of gears in the brain. So many. I don't even make sense. DW 40. So it's all lubed up. So really clear functioning. White light. White light when I sleep. No. All right. Last question. All right. This one's from Torris underscore Elizabeth eight. And she's asked this for you. Can you please do some racist comments in German just for a laugh? And of course for science. Now you don't have to do racist. Fuck it. It's Germans are what you guys were. Germans are German. Yeah, you guys were a bit racist for a bit. That's that's factual. Well, you know what? It's hard. It's generalizing Germans as racist is racist. Yeah, that's a good point. Racist pig. Racist pig. But I reckon, okay, let's just go on a character here. Marty, I reckon, okay, just do an angry, like sexual, like a very sexual dad. Ringworm Michael sent that question in. Ringworm Michael. Michael just wants me to say something racist on the podcast. Well, Michael, it's not going to happen. Okay, I'm not going to be racist in any language because that's wrong. Okay, just be an angry sexual dad. Dude, that's spot on. That's class. Well, I'm just, you know, that's just what my dad used to do. Anyway, please do just an angry outburst. And I love it. Hearing Marty talk on the phone to his mom makes me laugh harder than fucking seeing an old person fall over, but it's okay after they fall over. Maybe we maybe you can introduce the next segment in German. Yeah, that's pressure right now. Oh, dude. Oh, I love this shit, man. It's so funny, this this language. All right, on to our next segment, which has been very recently renamed. It's been renamed to minus. Oh, how does that even make sense? It doesn't really. That was amazing. Thank you. Great question from Elizabeth. And in this pod in this segment, we open stuff that you guys have sent into our PO box. So let's get into that. All right, we have a letter. The letter says, It's great watching your two faces put Stephen Hawking's through his paces, but Fallon, Erwin and Charmy and then annoying POM hand be can asphyxiate themselves with these laces. Holy shit. So this person hasn't written their name, but that's okay. They don't need to. And obviously, I would want to remain anonymous as well. They want our fellow influencers and friends to hang themselves with these laces. We'll ask them. Honestly, we will ask them. I'll send them a photo this afternoon, be like, boys, just a suggestion. Maybe hang yourself with the laces. We'll ask them because it's only fair. The person's gone all this trouble all the way from Connecticut. Really? Oh, yeah. Well, is that real? Oh, yeah. Connecticut mudslide. All right, next letter and last letter for the PO box. Pretty shit segment today, guys. Send some virus. If you have coronavirus, cough into a jar, bottle it up and send to that. We'll inhale it. Oh, please do that. All right, here we go. All right, let's see. First of all, if this all right, this is from Chris from Louisville in KY, Kansas. It's not Louisville. Where's Dorothy's from? Louisville. Where's it of us? Like, she was from there. Louis Vile, it's pronounced here in Australia. Louis Vile, KY. All right, so it looks like this person has done some drawings for us. So here we have a picture of what I'm assuming is a, maybe like you've had sex with an Asian lady, and this is your 30 year old Asian, half Australian son. Oh, yeah, I guess he's got... Yeah, so Michael's had a had a son with an Asian lady and now the son is 30 years old. And it's a picture of him saying, give us a crack. And I'm assuming he means give us some crack because your future son, of course, will be a crack addict. So yeah, it's quite intelligent, very insightful. He looks a bit deformed. Look how big he's like, gap between his nose and eyes are. Future son. Crack addicts definitely will be deformed. We have one more picture here. So this is a picture here of a small cartoon character. He's yellow, like really yellow. And it says, he's got a little speech. Well, it says Martin to serve. And that's from that sports ball video. So it's nice. Yeah. Possibly my future son with some sort of nutrition deficiency. Yeah, what's it called? Like Lyme's disease? Or no, Jordan or Jordus. When they're born, Jordus, I think Jordan. It's called Jordus. Jaundice. Is that it? Jaundice. There you go. So yeah, future kids gonna have a jaundice. Mine's gonna have a gap between his eyes and nose. Half the fucking Asian crack addict and my future son will be a yellow athlete. Thank you. That is all for PO Box this week. And let me tell you, thank you. Yeah, you guys are so good to us. Too good. Like sometimes I'm like, We hit a mill! Oh, we hit a mill on Instagram. It's definitely not what I thought it'd be. This is a cause for celebration. Oh, that looks good. Oh, yeah, there's a good deal. I'm gonna hi for a little bit. Let me just quickly. I'm gonna do a plug to the podcast as well. Hey, guys, we just hit a mill on Instagram. We're halfway through our podcast and we just wanted to stop and say, yeah, whatever. Hurry up, two mill. Hurry up, two mill! I tried just go a bit and it'd be cool. Oh my God. I can smell it. I feel sick. I've made myself a bit sick. No, I'm okay. I'll be all right. I regret that. Time for the next segment and it's called BOO! Which of course is science time. Weird segment name, Matthew Brown, wholesome headquarters at Milton there might close down soon. Someone might get corona. What have you got for us this week, Michael? Okay. Have you heard of electricity? No, why don't you tell us some more? Well, it's what we use to power the lights and the TV's. So that's unbelievable. He's blowing up a balloon now. The balloon is colored. So there is another form of electricity called static electricity. I'm excited. And it's this one's created from God himself. Not just fucking Anni-Jaxx and fucking origin origin and a linter. A linter is a very big to wear with. Yeah, I think I'm with them too. Me and my girlfriends here watching wear with a linter. A linter? Come on. No, Matt's with wholesome. Yeah, Matt's with wholesome. Of course, wholesome powers his house. So basically, think about it this way. Listen. Yeah, think about it that way first. And secondly, all right, somehow it's in the future. So Michael's just blowing up this colorful balloon and he's trying to tie it. It's 3020. So a thousand years from now. And your kid somehow is made of metal and he's fucking fat. He's so fat. I've actually had premonitions about this. Your kid's so fat and he's tripped over. He's got a new virus that's even worse than the corona. Abortion. Yeah, you should have killed him, but you didn't. And now he's there lying on the road and everyone's evacuating, going nuts, you know, 3020. And you've got to move him somehow. And he's made of metal because they're all probably be robots by then. Yeah, 100%. So it's a fact that everyone will be. All right. Say, obviously, it'll be pro gay marriage still in 3020. So I'm with my husband. We've got our fucking metal kid. We need to move him because we've got to get him away from the city because of an even harder, scarier virus. So may I use my partner's head? Yes. You scared me. So this is called static electricity, children. And this is how you remove your fat future kid. They have to be fat. If they're thin or rectangular, they just walk and he's metal. If they're thin and rectangular, this would be not as effective. Watch this. Marcus just rubbed the balloon against my hair and then held it near the can and the can moves towards the balloon. So he's able to move it in whatever direction he wants. And wow. Thanks, guys. Wow. That's wizard stuff. That's back to work. You know what? You know what? It is. We are so it's it's fine. It's wizard, wizardry, scientists, wizards. Wizard is just the old school name for scientists. Merlin. All right. We know Merlin. All right. Let's move on to our last segment, which has been renamed. Fucking hell, dude. Sorry. Oh, I'm so glad. Still ringing. Sorry. Oh, it's turn it down. How do I do that? Get it back. Who is it? How do you make it? Do you normal? Talk now. Tell me when it's fine. It's lower than mine now. Look, just tell me. It's done. Next segment. Hurry up. All right. Here we go. The prank calls. This is a segment where we just do prank calls. Hey, guys, I have a prank call for you. So basically this guy I work with just changed power companies. Then he had the power company he changed from win him back over with cheaper rates. We listen to your podcast in the every Tuesday morning and I've introduced him to your content. I think it would be fucking hilarious if you rang him posing as an origin energy manager claiming that he's scammed one of their workers into getting him a better price. Oh, this is fucking good shit. Very good, James. Whoever, James, legend. This is the type of detail we need for a great prank call. I've said it before. Good day, Kate. My name's Brian Cullen. I'm just calling on behalf of origin energy. Do you have five minutes for a quick chat? Yeah. Okay, so I think recently you've spoken to one of our employees about possibly changing energy companies and then she's given you a reduced rate and now you're sitting on a reduced rate with origin energy. Is that correct? Is that ring a bell? Yeah. Yeah, mate. So look, the account has been passed on to someone higher up and what she's done is actually illegal, right? So she can't actually do that. I don't really know how to bloody tell you this, mate, but there is an outstanding fee on your account and we're going to need you to fix it up and your rate before she spoke to you will be your rate ongoing. So yeah, so we just sort of got to give you a call and let you know that it's not going to work. And you know, we've given you options. We're going to give you options too, obviously. You can pay off, I think it's a $500 fee. You can pay it off in installments or you can pay it off in one go, whatever, or you know, alternatively, once you've paid this, we can let you go and move on to whatever energy company you want, but the rates that we have, we sort of have to enforce and the person you spoke, she's been fired. So there's a $502 fee outstanding at the moment with origin energy. We have to call you and this happens occasionally. One of the people on our sales team says something that we cannot deliver and then we sort of, you know, got a call and backtrack, but yeah, there's a $502 fee outstanding on your account now. And it says here if you're going to pay within five business days, that we'll have to shut the power off to your residents, unfortunately. So we will surely email you the existing bill on your account and if you could pay that straight away, that would be great. Alternatively, we can put you on a payment plan. You can pay it off in four to five days. Well, again, it was one of our employees and we've trained all of our all of our sales staff not to, you know, say things that they can't deliver. So and she has been reprimanded for that as well. So and, you know, unfortunately, we can't we, you know, we can't just we can't just let people get away with, you know, paying less all of a sudden because, you know, we're trying to run a company and at the end of the day, it's sort of it's it's it's like you're stealing really. So we have to send you. Of course, of course, for training purposes. So listen to how she explained it to you. Yeah, you're wearing it. I'm not paying it. Well, I don't want to continue this conversation because I don't even know you're saying you are. So unless you send me something in writing an email or a letter, look, mate, I've got your details on file. I've got your details on file. I'm about to send you an email with the bill, but I'm just letting you know. I'm letting you know that your electricity will be cut off within five business days if you don't pay the bill. You don't care if your electricity gets shuts off. Well, that's bullshit, mate. If your electricity gets shuts off, your fucking quality of life goes down the shithole. If you fucking hear me, you pay that bill or we'll send our boys around to collect. You fucking hear me. Yeah, the boys are coming. The boys are coming with a cavalry. So you fucking better get out of that house because they'll be taking furniture. Do you understand me? Oh, that makes me happy. And I work at Origin Energy. That was a legit work call. Holy shit, dude. Let's never let him know that it was all good. That's the end of our podcast episode six for the year, and let me tell you what. I reckon we are cut. No, we are now. We're the best. We're the best. We're back and we're the best. I'll skull. I'll skull and not fuck up to finish. I will fucking skull this to you fucking to show where the best. Where the best. You threw up last time. Best. See, that's best behavior. Best.