 I'm Toni G. I host a radio show every Wednesday evening on Ask One Radio. It's also available on Periscope and Moonstruck TV. And I also host Create a Life You Love, which takes entrepreneurs and business owners and helps you to understand how they've created their life so you can follow in those footsteps. Today on Psychic Medium, Toni G., I'm going to be giving Beth a reading. Hi, Beth. Welcome to the show. Thanks for having me. It's my pleasure. Excited to be here. So, Beth, you have a number of questions for me. I do. I have a whole list for you. We'll start easy. We'll start at easy. Good. Good. Good. Okay. Well, okay, as you know, I've been kind of on this spiritual journey for a while. Right. Like my whole life, whatever. I really have been trying to make it serious and crack down on it. And meditation, I feel like, is one of those things that I should be doing to help better my connection, get stronger with it, be quiet in my mind. Right. Yeah, right. Yes. Why do I have such a hard time meditating? I'm better in a group. Alone, I'm no good. Yeah. You know, everybody has a really difficult time meditating because we have so much on our plates. And the moment we let our mind relax, all those things we haven't done, or all those things we need to do, start popping up. And then we think, why am I wasting my time doing this? I should be getting all these things done. I should be preparing this. I should be getting this done or doing that. But if you can get past that, right past that point, you will be right in that meditative state. You have a trick that helps people go right into meditation. So I call it the three breath meditation trick. And what you do is when you're breathing in, if you're focused on your breath, you can't think of anything else. So let's try that now, everybody. Let's try that. As you breathe in, try to think of something else. But think about your breath. Follow your breath all the way down to your lungs or your stomach. And as you breathe out, follow the breath back out again. And the thoughts, you can't focus on your breath and on a thought at the same time. If you do that, if you take those first three breaths, painfully slow almost, so slow in and so slow out, you will find that you're very relaxed and that your mind is cleared. Now if thoughts start coming back in, what do you do? You refocus on your breath going in and your breath going out. And you especially need to meditate every single day. If you're worried that, oh my gosh, I'm going to get into a meditation and I'm going to be there for three hours, set a timer. Start with 10 minutes because everybody can take 10 minutes and meditate. 15 minutes. And then go up to 20. And make it at a time when you know some people like to meditate right at the end of the night. There's nothing else you can do. You can't make phone calls. You don't have to make dinner. You don't have to change a diaper, whatever the case might be. At that time and point, you have 10 or 20 minutes before you fall asleep to follow those breaths in and follow them out. If you do fall asleep, that's okay. The body is going to take what it needs. Even if you go into a meditation in the beginning of the morning or the middle of the afternoon, if you need sleep, you're going to go there. So then especially have that timer set. That's a good idea. I've found different information on whether or not you should focus on something, focus on a thought, an idea, a mantra, or if that should completely go by the wayside and you literally should think nothing. What am I better off doing, especially as me? Okay. So yes, that is very personal. Some people say a mantra like, ohm or God, just so that those thoughts can't come in their mind. That's a really good way of not allowing just random thoughts to pop up in your mind. Now at some point throughout that meditation, even if you're saying a mantra, at some point the mantra is going to stop because you're going to be in that space. Okay? Yeah. If you do want to use a word, let's just say like love or abundance, whatever you want to focus on, bringing more in or understanding better in your life, then just choose that word, say it slowly, and have no definition of it. Sometimes if we use a word we already know, like some people will want to find, they tell me, I'm saying the word money. I'm like, yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no. And the reason you don't say a word you're really familiar with, because all the definitions and your circumstances surrounding that word are going to start to come up. If you're saying money and you're having financial issues, that's going to cause you to be irritated. And just you're saying it now. Exactly, exactly. So I always say, if you want money, use a word like abundance. That is a much better word to help you be in that place. And you don't have definitions or feelings with abundance, except it's a really good word, right? Yes, yeah, yeah. So if the breath work doesn't work, you can get a guided meditation. I have plenty of them on my website. You can use a word like, ohm or love or a word that won't bring up meanings and that won't bring up any feelings in you. Yeah. Okay? Okay. If you want to focus on a certain subject, you can do that. But again, make sure the subject is something that is relaxing and pleasing. Some people light a candle and let a waterfall go. Yeah. And that way, they're focused visually on the candle, and they're letting the waterfall fill that noise, be the noise in their head. Okay. I do have four meditations on YouTube that accompany one for each of the books that I've written. And those meditations, two of them are under 10 minutes and two of them are over 20 minutes. So depending on the amount of time you have, they're perfect meditations. Good. So. Okay, I'm on it. Absolutely. It seems to work pretty well for now. But I know I want to be able to calm it myself. Absolutely. And the more you do it, the easier it is. Yeah. That's it. Well, I think I work up to a certain point and then I'm so frustrated that I just quit. Yeah. When you get to that point, if you get frustrated, the number one thing to do is the breath work. Because breath is always calming. And the slower you breathe in and the slower you breathe out, the more relaxed and calm you're going to be. Okay. That's what I need. Excellent. Okay. Well, speaking of words that trigger, this reminded me of my other question. Okay. So we are all one. We should all love each other, right? We should have unconditional love for everyone. Yeah, right. Okay. Right. How, well, I can start my day great, right? But then I can drive down the road and the guy next to me who cuts me off can ruin my entire day because now I'm really mad at that guy and the rest of the day seems to just fall apart and go downhill. Okay. I would love to be able to, I guess, shrug off my anger, my frustration, my jealousy, my resentment, whatever, because my fellow human beings, right? I need guidance on this. Tell me where I need to go or what I need to do to at least have the patience to have some kind of love for everyone. So there are only two things in this. Beth, I love you. First of all, thank you. This is the most incredible. I am so grateful you're here and asking these questions right now. I cannot tell you how grateful I am. There are only two things in this world. Faith and fear. And faith is really love. So love and fear. One of them is an illusion and the fear is the illusion. So when we're in that total spot of love, what you're talking about, and faith, the fear starts to dissipate. When we're driving down the street and somebody cuts us off or horns us or it's our, because driving can be, we're already at a heightened sense of awareness and like knuckle grabbing the steering wheel, especially if there's a lot of traffic or we have children in the back or like I'm driving with my dog. When I'm driving with my dog, I'm just like an old lady. I'm like, ah, I'm so afraid, right? We get in that fear space, right? So what we need to do is if we remove the fear from that situation, now if somebody's cutting you off or you feel like you're almost going to get hit, you're not getting angry, you're getting fear. Your response to the fear is anger. Oh yeah, it escalates pretty quickly. Yeah, and it gets right up there because all of a sudden somebody has threatened your safety and the safety of anybody else in your vehicle. So the one thing I do is around your steering wheel, two fingers, I don't care, finger and thumb, and you take a slow, deep breath in. And as you breathe this breath, you say, relax, relax, relax. And I don't care, you can poo poo this idea, but it works like nothing else. Now throughout the day when you think of somebody that has something that you want, you see something in that jealousy is triggered. Instead of going, they have that why don't I or I want that, go, thank you for showing me this. Now I know this was showing to me because it's meant for me too. How can our great provider, I use the word God, anybody can use any word they want. I'm not offended by any other term for God. But how can God show you all the greatness that he or she has for you unless sometimes through others? And when you see these things and it's something that you're really like, oh my goodness, I must have that or I would really like that. The reason it was put in front of you is to remind you that that's a part of your path. And it's things like time and freedom to do things and the ability to just drop everything and go do something with my family, my baby, whatever. Those are my biggest triggered things, but I like that you said that. I would take that in my path, that'd be good. Yeah, absolutely. And if it is time and time management, there's always a way to get everything done. All you have to do is they're showing me that for you it's making a weekly and monthly chart. And then reorganizing and prioritizing. For you, that's going to be very, very huge. Yes, I do feel like everything's kind of... It just happens as you go. It's very chaotic and you're like, what happened? I'm going to take care of this. Now I'm going to do this. Or I just shut down and go, I'm not doing any of this. Yeah, it's just out the far straight way. Exactly. So just like make charts, make lists and try to follow on the best you can. You're going to be amazed at how quickly everything starts to pop in place and how when you put it on a page and say, this is what I'm going to accomplish today and you get it accomplished, how much better you feel? Because it is something that is very, when we think we're not accomplishing anything, it's very daunting to us and we feel like we're just wasting our days and we're really not. Just trying all day to meditate. It's just not working. Breathe, breathe, breathe, yes. We'll get there. Okay. No, that's a really good idea too because I do feel like it's all an overwhelming, it's all in my mind. And you're trying to keep track of it. Maybe they don't help. Exactly. What you don't do today, you know what, you'll get it done tomorrow. You'll start figuring out ways where you can get more done in one day to free up time for the next day. Once you put it in writing, this really isn't that much. That's interesting too. I am totally a list maker but I'm a multi-list maker and sometimes I think it's bad because I have too many lists going at one time. But maybe if I just would get a list done it would feel a lot better. Instead of writing the lists, complete the list. Maybe I can put it on the list to write another list and then I'll feel good and check it off. There you go. We'll see. There you go. I have to look for another question because you reminded me of one. Okay. Perfect. Let's see. Okay, so speaking of faith and fear. Yes. I have a huge... I got not an issue with it but self-love. Okay? I have learned that the fastest way to be unhappy is to find fault in yourself or things you can't stand about yourself and anything to not love yourself because it is so in contrast with your highest self and your source, how source feels about you. What is... I understand we all have our own hang-ups with it and I'm sure that's part of the human condition but what specifically am I... It seems to be a pattern in my life where things will kind of... I'll see like a glimmer of hope. Oh, I feel good about that and then there are a million reasons why I'll shut it down immediately and go right back to feeling crappy. Okay. So what's with the pattern? Why do I keep falling in these same footsteps over and over and over? When I know that if I would just, I guess, give myself a break and really connect with that love that is there and focused on me that I don't think or feel ever. How do I get there? How do I get over whatever is going on? That's such an extraordinary question. So the first thing is we are more afraid of total acceptance than rejection because we've dealt with it, rejection. We think that's the norm. We are not brought up to be egoic or prideful, which is good but self-love and ego are two completely different things. So self-love can also be explained in a way of accepting self and being okay with everything about yourself. Now I'm going to go into a little bit of the ego versus the spirit thing here. When we are in ego, ego will do anything to survive and the moment we start wavering toward spirit there is going to be that little voice in our head that says, ah, ah, ah, do you remember when you were 10 and you did this? Or do you remember this morning? Something that reminds us that oh, maybe I am flawed. Maybe I am not supposed to love myself. Maybe I am, you know, supposed to be like this. And it almost becomes in the beginning easier to stay in that place of self-doubt with that lack of self-acceptance than to go, no, I'm not going to listen to that. I'm going to move on because the real thing is do we feel worthy of love? Do we feel like we are worth the love that we're supposed to be giving to ourselves? And when we don't feel that we are worth that love, we will find any excuse when those things that we perceive as negative will start popping up. And what we have to look at when those things pop up, the first thing to say and or do is that was a lesson that I learned. It was put on my path. This is a school. This whole plane is a school. That was one of my lessons. I've learned that. I graduated that class. I'm proud of that. Now I can move on and accept myself for learning that. We wouldn't be down here if we didn't have lessons to learn. You're working tears in my eyes. I think you're hitting it. Yes. Because we're taught as children this is bad and this is good. We're not taught this is a lesson you've learned and you've graduated this. We are taught. You pass kindergarten, you get to go to first grade and second and third and by the time we get third we're like I don't want to pass any grades. I'm done with school. It gets tough at third grade. So when we look at life and our lessons and the things that we've done, whether it be in relationships, I have so many people come to me and say oh I was with this guy for five years and it ended and it failed. I'm like five years, that's a success. List all the lessons and everything you learned from this person and this relationship and then all the things you didn't like. Those were lessons too about what's not supposed to be in your life, what's not congruent with you and then you can look at it like oh my gosh this was, he was a great teacher for me. I was a great teacher for him and now we're going on to our next full chapter lesson. So turn your negative things into positive lessons, something that you've learned beautifully and now you're moving on to the next one. A lot of it I think I guess some self-forgiveness is due in some of those which is even harder than oh I made a mistake I need to move on. Some of it is who have I hurt in the process and it's hard to let that go knowing now what I didn't know then. I will say this hurt is a choice even though we don't feel that way when we are being hurt but we can choose in any in each and every situation we can choose the feelings we have about that situation. Most of us go emotional and we choose to be hurt we choose to be angry we choose to be whatever that emotion sad but we can also look at it and say I see what has happened here I understand that's about you not about me so I'm going to choose to have no feelings good or bad about this. You've reached mastery when an insult doesn't hurt you but you've reached mastery more when a compliment does not affect you. So it goes both ways because both of those things an insult or a compliment feed the ego to say I'm good or I'm bad when neither has any jurisdiction in your life then you have come to a point where you are being in and of yourself and not of what has happened or what others are saying or doing I hope that makes sense good good good good I suppose that I which kind of leads me to ask there are situations that I see repeating repeating but they're always different but in a way it's like these are the same feelings oh that's the same reaction over and over and over the change the word situation to lessons and repeat that statement I keep learning the same lesson over and over I'm just not quite getting it but no I think you're right to open it up to the experience itself so the first time we go through something we're like oh my gosh this happened and it threw me for a loop and we'll call it a good experience or a bad experience and if it was a bad experience and we stick with this was a bad experience and it repeats because we're now in that energy and we have that fear in our mind that it could happen again so it does happen again but then if we turn it into the word lesson and we look at it we separate ourselves and we say okay if two of my friends were going through this exactly once twice ten times what would I say to my friend is the lesson from this situation I would look at this and say okay what you're supposed to be learning here is this and then you have what you're supposed to learn and once you have it you've learned it and you can move on you might get a test go really have you learned it you want to do it again and then you go no thank you I don't we all have that for some of us it's the partners we pick for some of us it's the the career choices that we make or even finances can go in a loop we go good and then we go down and we have to go okay so what is my thing that this is the only plateau I've reached and why as soon as I get it do I go sometimes that goes all the way back to childhood sometimes it's something you learned as an adult trying to learn about money out of 18 or whatever it is but once you figure it out in your mind you've created a new definition once you create a new definition in your mind it's very difficult to repeat the old pattern I like that that gives me hope lots of hope there's so much of it okay well then that leads me to my next one I have a nine month old baby now thank you totally changed my whole world and I had spoken with you before he even came along and there was some question of whether or not I was ready to be a parent so I had to be ready to be a parent so I do I look at situations so differently now where it's how does this impact my baby and how will when he's old enough to understand what's going on how will my reaction to certain things affect him what is the best way for me to because I feel like like you said this can be stuff from our past I feel like life got real for me even as a little kid it was like I went from happy go lucky everything is possible kind of little child to like this is the real world and let's all get real and stop pretending that you know there are rainbows and unicorns that was never my world how do I keep my baby thinking this way for as long as he can I want to keep him open to where he came from and who he really is and how he has endless knowledge and support and love and I want to keep it so open and I don't want any of my stuff to you know weigh that down that's such an incredible so the first thing I'm seeing is mommy and me yoga oh yes mommy and me yoga start that right away start it today I know your guy your little guy is it'll be a good upper body workout for you too because for mommy and me yoga you're holding the baby quite a bit so and eventually he will start doing that yoga with you and then put in a guided as he's laying down to take his naps put in a guided meditation and start that process with him now and you know at this age if you want him to learn a foreign language if you want him to learn to remember who he is I can make a customized CD for him reminding him that he is love he comes from love he'll return to love or whatever suggestions you want but then play that while they're sleeping because that gets in the subconscious and that's where it stays it absolutely stays in that space of the subconscious for them so we are we are winding up now and I know you have so many more questions I might have to have you back just because you ask the most amazing questions when I typed them all out I was like I shouldn't read them because no it's perfect so we'll definitely have to have you back again because this has been such an incredible conversation and I'm so grateful that you were here because I think everybody watching has a question that associates with this that is very much in alignment with what we all want to be our best selves we all want to be doing our highest good we all want to be in that space and how do we get there we can see it we have glimpses of it like you said but just to believe in that more than this and before you know it you'll be there before you know it you'll be there okay I should hold you to it thank you Beth so much for being a guest on the show today I'm so grateful for you and I know your son by the way architecture I'll give to that in a second okay I want to thank you for watching this episode of psychic medium Tony G you can connect with me on my website or by calling 414-897-2869 have an amazing day