 Hello, it's Bridget. Welcome to Sunday Morning Coffee with Bridget. Today's episode is about need. Now let me talk to you about how this began. So I was having this conversation just a few moments ago with my husband while I was making dinner and it's getting dark out and looking into the living room and seeing the Christmas tree and the television all set up for a movie and I'm really yearning to just go relax, cuddle up on the couch and watch a great Christmas movie because I love that. I am such a geek for holiday movies. I'm totally a holiday movie fan and yet I know oh I have to do things. There are things I need to do, some work things I need to do and yet I am not motivated to do them but that's not totally the truth. See, I am motivated. I'm motivated by needs and in having this conversation with my husband I said I don't want to have to work. I don't want to have to create an audio. I don't want to have to record a video because other people need that from me. That's the expectation of others for me when I have choice and I don't want to be motivated by needing to meet other people's needs. Do you feel like that? Like do you ever get really conflicted about what you need personally versus what other people need from you? Yeah, I think it's totally human. It's completely human to have those kinds of push-pull conversations within yourself and most of the time we have these conversations in our mind over and over and over again and we just get frustrated and annoyed and we end up stepping into service and fulfilling other people's needs and sacrificing our own or being a martyr and oh poor me I can't get my needs mad because I'm doing so much for everybody else. Look how noble I am. I'm in such great service to everyone. I'm just bending over backwards to meet your needs. Aren't I great? Yeah, well the truth is I need to take a stand here. On this Sunday morning coffee episode I need to take a stand for all of us and what we need. So I asked myself this question. I said well what do I need? And out loud right away I said I need to break. I told my husband I said I need to break. Right now today is the day that we would be leaving on our vacation which we had to cancel like many other people. Going on our annual December trip to Disney World where I love which feeds me so much and inspires me and gets me so happy and gives me so much fuel for making magic in my videos and my creative content and my sessions and just give it just powers me up. And so I recognize that I need a break because I usually do have a break. I have a planned scheduled break right now and I don't have that yet. I did have the foresight to plan to take off a few weeks in December from private sessions but I have not I have not planned to take any time off YouTube and the truth is I need to do that. I need to play it by year. I need to not have a plan. I need to not have expectations and rigidity of a schedule because after all 2020 has certainly taught us as we are now in the 11th hour here in December that we've got to be flexible. Schedules screw them. Screw them. Other people's expectations forget about it. It's not realistic to meet other people's needs or to think we're so great. Oh I'm so great that I can meet everyone's needs. Look at how great I am. I'm tired of that BS aren't you? Are you tired of trying to meet everybody else's needs and being angry and resentful and frustrated because you're not meeting your own? I feel you. I feel you. It's real. This is real. What do you need? What do you need? See the thing is it's scary to ask that question because when you ask that question you're going to get an answer. You are going to get an intuitive response from inside your soul and you're going to get the truth and many of us we don't want to know. We just don't. We don't because then we have to face ourselves. We have to meet our own needs instead of complaining or using it as an excuse to sit on the sidelines and not do the things we really want to do in life. The things we need to be doing that feed our soul, that fuel us, that inspire us and give us our creative energy that we need to have that helps us be the best versions of ourselves that we can be and very clearly if you are listening to this you're probably a lot like me in that you're an empath and you feel energy and you really feel compassionate for other people and you want to be in service. You want to show up and be in service and be caring and loving and expressive and help other people. And the thing is is that the best way that we can do that is from a place of fulfillment of understanding that our needs matter and that our individual personal needs cannot be fulfilled through proxy. You can't fill your own void, fill your own cup by serving somebody else instead of serving yourself. You have to do both. It's like coffee with creamer man. You got to have both. You got to have both. And it is true that there are sometimes at many times many times many times okay because I feel it right now conflicting needs or needs that are competing within ourselves. So when you ask what you need you might get answers that are confusing. In fact you will. You will. Plan on it. Plan on it. So you've got to get to know yourself better. You got to spend some more time quality time being inside letting yourself get to know what those needs really are for you starting to articulate them. It takes courage. I know it. I know it. It's scary. It's scary. But you can do it. Use your journal. You don't have to tell somebody your deepest darkest secrets and how crappy you feel about not being enough or not feeling enough or not feeling good enough or not wanting to be in service and showing up and doing stuff for everybody else. In fact rather wanting to sit up cuddle up on the couch in front of the beautiful Christmas tree that you work so hard to decorate in the perfect evening and watch a Christmas movie with your family. Like what's wrong. What's so bad about that there's nothing bad about that there's nothing wrong with that. But instead of serving the world. Oh come on. We act like it's so noble to be in service but when we're in service a lot of times many people are not in service because of an authentic desire to serve or an inspiration to be in service and show up and be fully fulfilled and present. But many people including myself at times show up because we don't want to deal with our own crap. We'd rather focus on other people's problems and help them solve their stuff because we're avoiding our own because we feel like we can't meet our own needs and it makes us feel so much better when other people are in so much more need than we are. And I've heard this over and over again. Oh I'm feeling so grateful. So many other people have it so much worse than I do. Okay. So what does that mean that's supposed to be good for you to feel like that like look there they feel worse than I do. Therefore I should be grateful. So therefore I should feel good about somebody else feeling worse than I do. No. That's comparison. That's comparison. You can't compare one of your needs versus somebody else's need and say oh there's this greater than mine therefore mine is less than that's ridiculous and we do it over and over again and it's considered noble. It's considered oh oh you're such a good person you have such a good attitude. Well it's a crock. It's BS. It's BS. It's spiritual BS. Yes. So let's get back and talk about these conflicting needs within ourselves. So I'm going to talk to you about mine. So the two conflicting needs I have right now. One is I need a break. I need to have some quality time with my husband with my family just relaxing with my own soul even though I make time every day I have a routine to really take care of myself. I need a break. I need a psychic break a human human time to just be a human being. I need a break like a vacation from work. I need time off work. And that need is conflicted and competitive competing with another need that I have which is to make money like this is December. I need to make money so that I can purchase items and gifts for my family and friends for the holidays and that I can pay my bills. So I can have a roof over my head and a car in the driveway and there's other people for other children that depend on me to help them also with fulfillment of their basic needs you know and their comfort creature comforts do of course like a cell phone. Let's be honest. That's not a basic need. Okay. Okay. Well, maybe for my kid in college it is a basic need so I can keep a track of her situation. But I digress. These are competing needs though they need to be able to make money to work and the need to not work to take a break. See how they're competing. But it doesn't mean I choose one over the other it means I work with my time to balance those needs out. It's about balance and it's about choice and priority of to where I'm focusing my energy. What I'm choosing at this time I'm not I'm not just going to choose a break all the time and never work and I'm not going to choose work all the time and never break. It's about balance balancing. So just like other people's expectations and how that feeds in like other people needing you to show up. What is all this pressure? What? Like my life is is it's inspiring and an important and it matters to me. But it should not matter that much to you, you know, and the being in service piece I can't feel guilted into having to show up halfway and just pound it out. Something give you some kind of content do some channeling video etc. Because that's not right. That's a lie that goes against everything that I believe in and that I've shared with you along this entire journey and so I can be in service to you best by showing up authentically and respecting you enough to not give you crap for content even though it's December and this is the time that you need to be vlogging all the time and videoing all the time recording all the time if you want to have any kind of income at all not just for December but into the new year you got to do it now you got to do it now get ready get ready for the new year. I just I'm exhausted by that concept and I just don't buy it. I just don't buy it. I don't buy it. I'm not going to invest my time or energy there and I'm not going to waste yours either. So through this conversation today with the Sunday morning coffee episode I hope that my authenticity my true transparency here brings you to a place where you can actually look at what it is that you're doing versus what you need and understand that there's a correlation here between your attitude and mood and how you're feeling about things other people especially based upon whether or not you're actually fulfilling your own needs and my guess is you're probably not at least not to the level that your productivity and your overall quality of life could very, very much benefit from. So don't be shy. Don't you guys do not be afraid to ask yourself what do I need? What do I need? Don't be afraid of the answer. Don't be afraid that you're not going to have the answer. It doesn't matter they asking the question itself opens up this beautiful flowing relationship and the possibility for you for your spirit, your intuition to help guide you in such a more authentic pure heartfelt way that you've never known or experienced before being present for yourself by asking that question of what do I need is such a gift. Give that gift to yourself. Give it to yourself today. I'm going to go cuddle up on the couch and watch a movie and not feel pressured to do a video for Monday. That's what I'm going to do. I hope that the Sunday morning coffee episode has helped to inspire your spirit as always and maybe just maybe filled you with hope and hopefully encouraged you to ask yourself what do I need? Because your needs, oh God, they matter. They matter so, so much. Your needs and being able to actually ask yourself that question over and over and over again and and and be patient for what you become aware of because of that. That's a gift. That matters. That's going to make all the difference for you. This is Bridget. Thanks so much for listening.