 say I got a new job and I was like super excited to tell you about it and you're like, well I got a new job too. I got something that happened for me that's good too. It's like, well this was my thing and we just made it about you all of a sudden. How'd that happen? You know what I mean? I do this. I had an ex call me a one-upper. I've been on kind of a journey. I actually do have a lot of traits that people with neurodivergence do. Our neurodivergent people doing that thing where oh you had this experience let me tell you about my experience is actually a way of relating and then neurotypical people actually find it very dismissive of them. I think it also has to do with the intention underneath it. I have gotten to the place over practice where I still validate first and then in a moment of connection I might say here's a way that I've struggled but I don't do it without first saying this is really hard. I see you struggling and all those validation words.