 How does being around a hypocrite make you feel frustrated, confused, annoyed? The definition of a hypocrite is a person who claims to have moral standards to which that person's own behavior fails to conform. So once someone exhibits this contrary behavior, it can lend itself to some strong emotions, like feeling tricked. The fact of the matter is we can't avoid hypocrites, but we can spot them. By being aware of their actions and their effects of it, we can distance ourselves, especially if they are not interested in owning up to their behaviors. We can also become more aware of our own actions that are hypocritical, and give ourselves some grace and learn from it. So here are a few examples on how to spot a hypocrite. They act differently. Do you notice how someone can act virtuous and logical, but behind closed doors they can become very… opposite. Do they absolutely publicly detest something that you know they indulge in in private? Hypocrites have two faces. The public one and the truer, private one. While we all adapt and act in certain ways with certain people depending on our relationship dynamics and are never always the same person, a hypocrite's behavior is more infuriating because it's not them socially shape-shifting that's the problem. It's not consistently being who they say they are. They would never kick a puppy, but you know how poorly they treat their own pets. In a 2014 study by Caviola and colleagues, it was concluded that hypocritical people not only adopt self-interest behavior, but also desire to maintain a virtuous, moral image. They'd rather look good than actually be good. The rules don't apply. Parking in a handicapped spot when you're not handicapped, how selfish and rude. But if I need it, or my boss or a certain family member or friend needs to be closer to the supermarket, then that's just efficiency and totally not the same. A hypocrite knows that rules exist, but they strongly believe that they exist for others and not for them, or a chosen few in their select power circle. A study by Valdesolo and Disteno in 2008 revealed that people often have a higher tolerance for violations of moral principles performed by themselves or in-group members. They will definitely bend, break, or completely ignore a law, principle, or rule because it's different for me. Not their fault. Mistakes? Being at fault? Everybody is and has been in that position. No one's perfect. We're continuous works in progress and we try to learn to notice and accept that about ourselves. Making responsibility for our part in things gives us a sense of power and pride in who we are. Hypocrites, however, choose to denounce those superpowers that are available to them. Their sense of self is so fragile, like an infant. They are perpetually the victim because they are never wrong, but someone else always is. In a 2015 study, University of Southern California professor Jesse Graham and colleagues discovered that narcissists, either by nature or as the result of fame, have a greater sense of entitlement and therefore are more likely to excuse themselves for their failings. So apologizing or owning up to their mistakes? No way. It's not their fault for lying. It's your fault for being so petty and pointing out their lies. Do as I say, not as I do. You are not allowed to drink wine or alcohol in my house. It's vile and I will not have it, proclaimed the hypocrite, who's hiding three leaders of box four cousins wine in their wardrobe. Granted, it's their house and their rules, but why are they not practicing what they're preaching? Social psychologists Daniel Batson and colleagues did a study spanning five years that concluded the nature of moral behavior to the hypocrisy, that is, people desire to appear moral to themselves and others without practicing moral behavior. Hypocrites are smug and get a rush of self-righteousness when they get on their high horse to criticize and demean others, doing the exact same thing that they're doing, which brings us to our next point, they demean others. You may have already picked up that hypocrites suffer from a form of cognitive dissonance and deception, which means that attitudes and behaviors conflict. Who they say and portray themselves to be is not an alignment to how they act with a select few and by themselves. An article by Susan Krause, white-born PhD, referred to a study by University of Southern California psychology professor Jesse Graham and colleagues that documented the origins of the dissonance that hypocrites have and classified it into three categories. While Whitborn states that moral duplicity is what you probably think of when you define hypocrisy, the other two categories are better able to explain how this demeaning or judgmental behavior comes about. As a result of the moral double standards, people are much fairer with themselves than with others for committing the same immoral acts. The other category, moral weakness, refers to behavior conflicting with attitudes, like believing that everyone should vote but having never voted yourself. In conclusion, while hypocrites gladly engage in duplicitous behavior, they will be quite offended at being called out for or made aware of it. When they're personally judged, they'll call others intolerant, even when that's exactly what they were doing. If you identified any sarcasm and irrational thought processes, you're absolutely right. Hypocrites, especially if you have to live with them, will make you feel like you're in a nonsensical loop and your brain will feel muddled because you see that there's no connection to their actions, and it's unsettling to someone who's less hypocritical. Bonus points if they have malignant narcissistic traits. Why? Do you identify with any of the above-mentioned behaviors? Do you see yourself or others in some of these habits? Although we can be harsher with ourselves than others, this video is intended to show you some behaviors that you may have, not to shame you, but to make you more aware of it. It's also intended to help you identify those who are unrepentant and unaware of the consequences of their hypocrisy, and to limit your exposure to them, and the likelihood of being their unsuspecting prey. We hope that you found this helpful, Psych2Goers. If you know of any other behaviors, please share them in the comments below. Until next time, and remember, you matter. Are you looking for a cuddly companion that brings positivity and mental wellness to your daily life? Get your very own Psy. The lovable plushie is here to brighten your days. It embodies the spirit of Psych2Go, and it serves as a reminder to prioritize your mental well-being. 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