 Good health to all from Rexall. It's Sunday time for the Phil Harris Alice Faye Show, presented by the makers of Rexall drug products and your Rexall family drugists. Good evening. This is your Rexall family drugists, taking a little time from behind the prescription counter this Sunday evening to speak for all 10,000 of us. The 10,000 independent drugists who have added the word Rexall to our own store names. You can always tell us by the orange and blue Rexall sign in our windows. The sign means that we carry the 2,000 or more drug products made by the Rexall drug company. They range all the way from aspirin to penicillin, and they're as fine and pure and dependable as science can make them. We independent drugists recommend them to our customers because we know you can depend on any drug product that bears the name Rexall. Good health to all from Rexall. And now your Rexall family drugist brings you the Phil Harris Alice Faye Show, written by Ray Singer and Dick Chevrolet, with Elliot Lewis, Walter Tetley, Robert North, Jeanine Rousse, and Whitfield, Walter Sharf and his music, and starring Alice Faye and Phil Harris. This morning there was a little excitement in the Harris household. Alice and Phil were in the kitchen just finishing breakfast when an excited William burst in on them. Alice, it's so exciting. I don't know how to tell you. Oh, it's got me all flutter. Well, calm down, Willie. Take it easy. Yeah, simmer down books. You're getting your glasses all steamed up. Now, take it easy. What's with you? I have wonderful news. Romance has come into my life. I'm going to become engaged. Oh, now, Willie, isn't it rather sudden? I never expected this. I did. I knew it was going to happen when he caught the bouquet at Betty Sharf's wedding. What's the party with a girl? Who is she? Miss O'Connor. She's my assistant in the bookkeeping department at Rexall. A Philip met her. Phil, what does she look like? Like the kind of a girl who'd go out with a guy like Willie. The attractive little Irish girl. Oh, Irish is it. Faith and what does that little Colleen look like, Philip? Well, McCushill. Well, look, honey, she's kind of hard to describe. Um, um, do you know that song, A Little Bit of Heaven, Fell From Out the Sky One Day? Yes. Well, when it fell, it must have hit her right in the kissing. William, you've only known this girl a few weeks. Surely you're not serious about being engaged. Oh, but I am. I even bought the engagement ring. Here it is. Isn't it a beautiful ring? Yeah, and look, there's a place for a stone, too. Has a stone. It may be small, but it's a beauty. Alice, don't you think this is a beautiful diamond? Well, what do you think of the diamond? Give me a chance. I haven't found it yet. Do you think it's awfully small, Willie? Well, I could have gotten a larger one, but I don't believe in a vulgar display of jewelry. Oh, in other words, you don't believe in being ostentaneous. Ostentaneous, capital A-U-S-T-I-N, and you take it from there. It is ostentatious, and I doubt if you even know what it means. Know what it means? Are you kidding, Clyde? Ostentaneous. It's a French word, meaning why spend a lot of cabbage for a ring when you can get the same thing for a nickel out of an iron claw machine. You might like to meet your girlfriend before you get engaged. Why don't you bring her over here tonight? Splendid, Alice. We'll announce our engagement from here. By the way, do you mind if I leave the ring with you for safekeeping? I paid $42.98 for it, and I don't want to lose it. You paid all of $42.98 for a diamond ring? My, what a horrendous prize. Give it to me, Willie. I'll take care of it. Guard it with your life, Phillip. Well, I'll run along now and see you tonight. Oh, to think that at last I have found romance. I'm just a vagabond lover. He's so happy about the whole thing. Gee, I hope nothing happens to break up his romance with Miss O'Connor. What if it does? Willie can get another girl. There are plenty of fish on the beach. What do you mean, in the sea? On the beach, when he gets them, they're washed up. If you had a voice like his, you'd look sick, too. Now, Phil, please. Girls, your uncle William is in love. He's going to get engaged to be married. What's engaged? It's the ether before the operation. Romantic explanation. Now, look, children, an engagement is when a man asks a woman to marry him. Like, well, just like when your daddy asked me to become his wife. Oh, I'll never forget his proposal. Honey, how did daddy proposal to you? Oh, well, honey, he was very romantic. He got down on his knees and said, Blondie, this is your big chance. Looks for a marriage license. Yeah, and your mother was smart enough to take advantage of a golden opportunity. No, but all kidding aside, Alice, how did you know that I was in love with you? That was easy, Phil. A little bird told me that you love me. That you love me. And I believe that you do. That you do. This little bird also told me I was falling. Really falling. Falling for no one but you. None but you. There's no use denying. I might as well confess. Of all the boys I know, dear, I'm sure I love you best. A little bird told me that you love me. That you love me. And I believe that it's true. A little bird told me we'll be married. This little bird will have a pretty cottage. Not too far. All fenced in like a movie star. Great thing pup will call an ace. Lying there by the fireplace. Goldfish pond and a wishing well. Everything is going to turn out well. A little bird told her she'd be married. This little bird also told her when she married. Proudest couple in the land. We go through life hand in hand. Have a ranch away out west. Pick the spot that we love the best. A peachy key and all is well. Everything. Oh, I love that little boy. Also, I want you to get ready for Sunday school. And Phil, please put Willie's ring away someplace. Okay, okay, I'll put it away. I'll put it away. I bet this thing's going to... I bet this thing's going to look awful silly on a girl's hand. I'm going to slip it on my finger just to see how silly it does look. Fine ring. How any guy'd have the nerve to give a ring like this to a... Hiya, Curly. Oh, oh. Hello, Frankie. Alice told me you were in the kitchen in Iowa. Where you got on your finger? An engagement ring. A linen shower. Remly, cut it out. I ain't no mood for comedy. Cut it out. Where's somebody to give me an engagement ring? I said cut it out. Always a bride's maid, never a bride. Take it easy for a minute, will you? Mm-hmm. This is Willie's engagement ring, and I'm just holding it for him. Willie's getting engaged? Yeah. To what? To a girl. At least I think she is. She's got a girl's name. What do you want to get engaged for? I could lead to something incurable like marriage. And what's wrong with marriage? You don't even know what marriage is. Ah, but I do, my friend. Marriage is like a boat with red sails. Now, what is that mean? How should I know? What am I, a philosopher or something? That's a trouble with single guys like you. You laugh at marriage, laugh. Wouldn't do you no harm to find a nice girl and settle down. Why should I? This way I can play the field and go out with a different girl every night. But, Remly, having a wife is a guaranteed investment for the future. Why buy an oil well when there's a gas station on every corner? I can't understand you. What's the matter with you, Remly? What are you thinking about? Wouldn't you like to settle down and have a family? A lad I might like. I knew you were as salty. Just think, Frankie. Just think. You get married, buy a nice home in the country, and after a year or two, you hear the patter of little feet running around the house. Just feet, no babies? I give up. Forget about it. Well, wait a minute. I better take Willi. Hey, Remly, come on. That Willi's ring is stuck on my finger, and I can't get it off. Won't come off. What am I going to do? Guess you'll just have to marry Willi. I'll cut my finger off first. Hey, I know. I'll get it. I'll go over to the sink and rub a little soap on it. It'll slip right off. You want me to help you, Curly? I'll pull the ring. Oh, no, you don't. Stop right there. Every time you help me do something, I wind up behind the eight ball. You'd probably drop it down the drain. I'll take it off myself. Revolute. Come on off. I'm getting it. Oh, no, down the drain. Took you two bounces to get it in. I could have done it in one. Thank you. Will you be serious? I got to get that ring out of that pipe. Willi's supposed to give it to his girl tonight. Lest that dame's a plumber, she ain't going to get engaged. You ought to be ashamed of yourself, Curly. Dropping that poor girl's ring down the drain and she hasn't even seen it yet. Hey, I better call her and tell her to hurry over to the corner of 5th and Main. What for? So she can lift the manhole cover and get a glimpse of it as the ring floats by. A fantastic way to get engaged. Oh, Curly, it can't float away. It's probably stuck in the trap at the bottom of the sink. Yeah, that's right, that little thing. Oh, Curly, sure. All we got to do is take the trap off. That's it. Hey, let's go get my wrench. I don't know. I get into more trouble than Elmer. I'd ask you who Elmer is, but I know it only leads to a song. Well, it's going to lead to one anyway. Now Elmer Jones arose at dawn and put his hunting britches on and looked up at the shotgun on the wall. He made his mind up then and there to bag himself a hunk of bear at hunting he had plenty on the ball. He milked the cow and fed the hog, then kissed his wife and called the dog, picked up his gun and started on his quest. He crossed the creek and hit the trees through back his head and sniffed the breeze, let out a yell and pounded on his chin. Here comes Elmer, Elmer's got his gun. Here comes Elmer, run, bear, run. He hunted all the morning through but not a bear came into view while Elmer's thoughts were on the kitchen range. He was sick as he could be of lamb and chicken fricassee and craved a mess of bear meat for a chin. Poor Elmer's mind was in a fog. He paused and sat down on a log to get his faculties back in the groove. He heard a noise and standing there before him was a grisly bear and thought at time that he'd better make his move. Here comes Elmer, Elmer's got his gun. Here comes Elmer, run. He grabbed his gun and turned around but Mr. Bear just stood his ground and Elmer said it's either me or thou. The gun refused to go and so he knew that somebody had to go and said farewell, I'm leaving as of now. Then Elmer's shoulder sprouted wings, his feet developed in her springs to linger longer he was disinclined. He ranceled fast through muck and mire, his ankle set his socks afire and still that bear kept coming on by. Here comes Elmer, Elmer's got his gun. Here comes Elmer, run. Bear, run. A deer with antlers eight feet wide got in the way of Elmer's stride as both of them went heading for the brush. Then Elmer said, now listen son if that's the fastest you can run move over cause I'm really in a rut. The bear was gaining inch by inch and finally reached out for the clinch as Elmer saw the fence around his place. He leaped the fence and landed hard jumped 60 feet across the yard and slammed the kitchen door in Bruins. Here comes Elmer, Elmer's got his gun. Here comes Elmer, run. Bear, run. The bear was trying to get inside while Elmer saw the place to hide and Mrs. Jones began to pull her head. She said this fuss has got to stop why don't you let the matter drop go tell it to the bear. Then Elmer's wife said, listen Goon how come you think you're Daniel Boone whose appetite on bear meat used to thrive. He said honey I'm sure that you're aware that Daniel always killed his bear but I done brought this baby home alive. Here comes Elmer, Elmer's got his gun. Here comes Elmer, run. Bear, run. Very interesting tale. Now should we take the trap off? Okay, funny man, just give me that wrench and I'll... What are you doing with that wrench? Well I got to take the trap off of the sink. Willie's ring is down the drain. Oh no. How did it get down there? I couldn't say. I could curly drop it down. Francis Waldo. You have snitched again. How do you do these things? Now look, we've got to get that ring out of the drain before William comes over with this girl. I'll call a plumber. We don't need no plumber. All Frankie and me has to do is just remove that little trap. Now now, wait a minute. Do you fellas know what you're doing? Alicia. Please, to get the trap off all we have to do is bend this elbow. Yes, but do you know how? Do you hear that Frankie? Do we not have experienced elbow benders? Little worried, something tells me I shouldn't let you do this. But we have to get that ring back. Now go ahead, but be careful and don't get any water on my kitchen floor. Don't get any water on my kitchen floor. Don't get any water on my kitchen floor. Always nagging us, girl. Her father's a policeman, I told you. Don't get any water on the kitchen floor. Nag, nag, nag. Sometimes I wonder why we ever married that woman. We know what we're doing. Every minute. Now come on, Remly, let's get at that pipe. Right. Hmm. What's the matter? Hey, look under there. Let me see. There are four pipes under there. Four? Yeah. Which one do we take out, Remly? I don't know. Let's be on a safe side and take them all out. Hand me the hammer, I'll loosen them up. Here. Remly, why do I always listen to you? When will I ever? Stop sitting there beefing. Swim over here and help me. You can help yourself. I ain't getting off of this refrigerator. Just look at that water. It's up to your waist. So we got the kitchen a little damp. We got the ring out of the pipe, didn't we? Yeah. When the water rushed out, we heard it fall on the floor, but we haven't found it yet. Been looking for it for an hour. Be patient. Oh, patient. You keep looking, you'll find it. Go ahead, dive in again. Now, Jackknife, you get more depth. Look, will you cut out the climb? And I told you we got to find the ring. I got an idea. Let's open the door to the hall and let the water run out. Then we'll be able to find the ring. Oh, no, you don't. We're not going to flood the whole house. Don't touch that door. If anybody should open that door, then... Hey, everybody, open the grocery. Hey, leave them out in the hall, Julius. Don't come in here. Don't open the door. Extixinate them. One thing to do. Here, Julius, drink this. What is it? Drain up. Been looking, Curly. I looked all over the floor. I can't find it any... The floor just didn't open it up and swallow it. How could it get out of that seal face? That thing you swallowed, Julius. What did it feel like? How are we going to get it, Frankie? There's only one way we can get it out. You mean? Prepare for surgery, Dr. Harris. Hey, that sounds like fun. Lie down, Julius. Get your mission. Don't touch me, Julius. You'll make me unsterile. Take it easy, kid. This ain't going to hurt. Of course not, my lad. Just relax. Remember, you're in the capable hands of Dr. Harris, your friendly credit stomach surgeon. Don't have a thing to worry about, Julius. Shall we proceed? Would you like to make the incision, Dr. Harris? No, thank you. You may do the carving. Very well. Little white meat, please. Not too much cranberry sauce. I swallowed Willy's engagement ring, and we got to get it. Yeah, because he's supposed to give it to his girl tonight. If we don't get it out of you, it's going to break up their romance. Now, you're not going to be an old meanie and refuse to let us operate on you, are you? Oh, Paris! Boy, Julius, then you'll let us do it. You'll let us operate on you. Dallas told me what you did with my ring. Where is it, Phillip? Well, you see, Julius handed the ring and... Phillip, stop stalling. Miss O'Connor's promised to marry me as soon as I give her the ring. But, Willy, it's going to take a little time, and I... I won't wait. I can't get married without that ring, and I want to get married now. Right now? Now. Well, in that case, Willy, there's only one thing to do. Give me your hand. Give me your hand. Are you placing my hand on Julius' stomach? Quiet. Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to join these two in matrimony. Phillip, stop that. I now pronounce you man and abdomen. Well, you're acting like a madman. What's going on here? Oh, honey, Julius swallowed the ring. He swallowed my ring? Julius, you come with me. We're going to see a doctor. Okay, goodbye, everybody. What's going on, kid? Hey, kid, you look a nice-looking couple. Here's your Rexall family drug. Every once in a while, we Rexall family drugists are asked this important question. Why is a Rexall drugist different from any other? Well, ma'am, the main difference is we were selected to carry the 2,000 or more drug products made by the Rexall drug company, and we take pride in recommending them to our customers. They must be pretty fine products if drugists recommend them. You've hit the nail exactly on the head, ma'am. Let me give you an example of why we recommend them. Did you know, for instance, that drug products in tablet form should contain little or no moisture? No, I didn't know that. Well, it's true. And that's why, in Rexall's laboratories, there's a special apparatus that can detect as little as one-one-thousandth of one-percent of moisture. Before certain drug tablets are considered good enough to wear the Rexall label, they must meet their maximum moisture allowance as determined by this exacting machine. Well, I'd say that's being pretty careful. And I agree with you, ma'am. And we Rexall drugists know that all Rexall drug products get the same kind of painstaking scientific testing and get it over and over again. That's why, in every drug store with the orange and blue Rexall sign in the window, there's an independent drugist who will tell you you can depend on any drug product that bears the name Rexall. Good health to all from Rexall. Horace, you did a wonderful job, and don't forget everybody to stay tuned to this station for Fred Allen. Good night, everybody. Thank you. This is Bill Foreman wishing good health to all from Rexall. This is M. His name is Titus Moodybub. I just want to say that there's a fella coming on the air who is comical as all get out. Yes, sir, this man has real snappy stuff, wholesale and retail. His name is Fred Allen. So just sit there and listen to NBC, the Holder and National Broadcasting Company.