 I say, thank you for staying with us. Namestia, oppositi asenja ni, ngaoja, kwaosa, sende yo. Nimi kwao, did you? Try to find me on Facebook. Try to find me on the channel. Or to hashtag me with the body. Se kusumpasa, juna, juna, kula. And your kwao for kwaosa might just miss with some bodily functions. But anyway, we were talking about how to realize URA. But so sad. The way I'm phrasing it is how we phrased it in the Biningi, but we have since then come to learn that there's no such thing as a wrong relationship or a bad relationship. It's just basically you wanting different things from the other person. Amma, you're on page 5, ya ako 55. Ya, that's basically what we are saying. So, karibuni tianasana. Where were we before the break? What's it going to talk to me? It's about prisons and rap sins, your parts now. When you're going through an emotional part. For ladies nelawa, you want that tap in the back. Nataka yo hag, ya mbe, ah, things will be okay. Skatia insa wa. But piya kuna. Watwengin e, like, ako saa me accept nasha and move on. You wouldn't want words of affirmation. Amma tumtunok, but yet to hug from nowhere. Okay, iyo iko. I don't know why I'm thinking like this. There are some guys like Mualimu, aki kufunza vizuri. He doesn't want you to invite them to your house. Set a dinner. Aki e, mimi saiden nime pacha e. Andi kakadi ita kuwa saa. Ya, dea. Valet, let me ask him a question. You know, issues like, for example, bereavement, they are symbolic. We've got stages in life. There is, when you get your birthday, there is when you're getting married. And of course, there's that moment when you died. So suppose you organize your birthday. You've gone all out and you've done a lot of stuff. You need, you know, it's your birthday. And then your girlfriend doesn't show up. For whatever reason, as you can be at yalikuwa, jobs you are, how would you feel you as a man? How, personally? And she doesn't pick your calls, she doesn't do anything. Shal kuna kumetini kuna taka ujinaisu tu kibiyako. Ah, the better. I do things for me. Like, come on, I want a game. I'm going there to play, to have a nice time. Not to talk to girls or something like that. I'm going there for the right reason. Ya. Ni kikuita bash, nili kwa nime, okay, nila taka wukam to jibambe. But piosi pokuja, ita manisha jibambe to the level eni nili kwa ni jibambe. Ya. Niti jibambe to the fullest. Just a quick one before you maybe let him talk. You see, when we have people who do that, you know, it might be the way you were brought up. Maybe the way you see things are supposed to be done. But it is very dangerous for you. Because just like I said during the break, you know, men are social animals. We need people around us so that we can be able to achieve some of the small, small aspects of life. You can be normal when you are with people around you. Haven't you seen people asking, why is this guy alone? Even a lady or a man, you know, if you can go leveling in and then what on now is that? Ujama kuna galfin kuele. Even your mum, probably at some point they were telling you you should not have a man around you or you should not have a lady around you. But in Afikal level and our lives are based off, do you usually see this guy with a lady or something like that? It tells you they need you to have somebody next to you, who can be putting for example in check, who can be talking to you when you need somebody to talk to. So when you organize a bash, for example your birthday and then people don't show up, me I'll be depressed. So that's you. I like how he's very... there are no surprises with you. You can say it's Evee, Evee and you can sing Evee. Yeah, 20 male. You don't make mistakes because if I make my own bash a birthday, then my girlfriend doesn't show up. You know what I'm saying? You love someone. You have friends piawata kuja. You don't have to find out who I am and all that. Then you can tell me who you are and who you are. You know what I'm saying? Funny fun. I'm sure if she is not there, you need her to put her name around. Then you'll... then the problem stops. My people die because of lack of knowledge. Okay, skatai. On violin trend, dey kuna rafkyangu. So he has this girl. We have been together for like three, four weeks before the D-day. So by Samahani, we have been together. So Clownie, Friday, Valentine's Day. Oh, Samahani. So by five, we have been together. So the next day, we have been together. We have been together. We have been together. We have been together. We have been together. We have been together. But the guy, he feels but he is not there. That's what I'm talking about. What is Samahani? The lady there. The lady there is Samahani in Teder. Wow. Samahani in Teder. By five, we have been together. We have been together for like 30 years. We have been together. Now on other days, we have been together. We have been together. Let me just say something. For so many years, as a man, and I think this is something that women are also right now doing ladies. As a man, I believed and I knew when I want to get into a relationship, I usually look ahead. This is my entry point. This is how long I will stay, and this will be my way out. This is my entry point. I will get out from this particular point. I will stay for this long, and then I will get out from this particular point. Case in point, your story. We have been together for three weeks, four weeks before. No, we haven't been together for long. No, they are actually in a relationship. In a relationship. So probably the lady had maintained it up to this particular level. Valentine's day, she had red flags. So as a man, as a girl, don't it's okay to be put on a pedestal, but bounce back immediately. You see, it's not like rocks. If this girl had said, at this time, I wouldn't be there, I wouldn't be very okay, I would just say, from this time to this time, I will not be around, you know at least you know. Don't come near me. So we are not so afraid. She will allow the imaginations now to start working. Because what were you doing within that period of time? And it is Valentine. That's where now things start getting boiled up. I have a smile on my face because I'm realizing we clearly want the same thing. If you are not curious, just tell me, you won't be around. Communication. Communication, if she said well, I wouldn't call her anything. If she said I don't want, if you know if you have been dating this person and you know her very well, then it's very hard for you to convince her. If you don't want to convince her, then don't convince her. So if you cannot convince her later, even if she says I'm not going to be there, go. I can see people acting up on our Facebook page which I really really like. I don't want to get emotional. What's your Irene Kajoka? Hi Irene Kajoka. Sahin Paul Lassin Ikifichwa. Why now? What is the argument behind this? Sahin Paul Lassin Ikifichwa. I don't understand. What do you think is going on? Like I said before, don't tell me how she holds to. Like, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up, we're in so many talks in the echo. Always in so many... always in so many times If you knew that she was seated somewhere or she was hanging around some flati-flati guys around whom you know very well, nimi tima fisi, would you be comfortable with it? No, I wouldn't. You wouldn't? Ita ni oma. So that makes you want to know where she is, what she does and with who? No, I want you to be yourself. If you love me nipendel bila timi kukuchunga, misi bodigad? I don't mean kuchunga. I don't mean kuchunga. You can't chunga somebody. Even me, I wouldn't want that. But would you just have a deliberate desire to know where she is, what she does with who? Ya, I would. Nataka, I would want you to tell me, I'll be here. And I will also tell you, I'll be there. And it will be like that. I appreciate honesty and communication. So, wuki se mati, I'm going out with my girls. So, we enda, have your night, jibambe, come back. And misi sayangu akwanda kuna bal, I expect the same. I expect the same. If kubaritu is with you, we enda. So I see. Alright, so I see Baltozarenga. Sikwezi madem wa na jifanya wa na yua sana. Na kuna lulotia nume, newa janja sana madem. Wana kwa hard kama half-cake. Kukatia na ora brokaba keki madem kueni rada. What? Okay, alright. Kidi melody says, morning guys. Okay, here's another one, two, three. Simply if the partner is always complaining that you're not doing much to make the relationship work, but the truth is you're working extra hard to make it work. How is that possible that I am in a relationship with someone? Okay, is that the equivalent of taking them for granted? For granted, I think you're not appreciated. I think that somehow can work because if somebody is not appreciating, you don't have to tell people that I'm doing this, I'm doing that. They need to be seen. So if this guy is not taking count of the things that you're doing, then I think there is a problem. There is a problem. Maybe what that guy wants is totally different from what you're doing. Yeah, I mean there is a problem because they need to. You know, I don't know, there are simple things that people do that can allow you to know that this person are not appreciated or are not appreciated. Men, sometimes when they want to check, okay, this is a man's conversation. We'll bring it together. So men, when they want to check out of a relationship, they start blaming you. They blame you on a lot of things so that you feel like you don't fit. Yeah, and then from there, that is now, I told you, manoma na jonita inge na hapa, I will say for this long, and this is my way out. So that is the most, most of them, that is their way out. Anaku blame, anaku fanyu na feel guilty, and then now it's easier not to patuise. You see, always in a relationship. Ni meskye mwingine. Aki, let's say for example, na ni mkutumi asana. Let's say maybe unan penda sento. Na maybe wei niko say, maybe I have my own home. I live alone. I have ambresourceful. Ni sigafika ati, wu kukote, but ni kuna vitu. Aya, uni suke, uni suke, ni gie box, then suddenly when you want your way out, you start telling me, you know I can't afford it as if sikwana zi vitu kabloni suke. Are we on the same page? That's exactly what's happening. The question is, what do you get into the relationship first? So the first question in fact you should have asked, why are you in to the relationship? If you are sure what you want, you know how to handle it. Like they say, if you are not ready for marriage, you should not be dating. I'm not sure of that. So if you are sure what you want, then you should eat up what you want. That is why he has explained it very well that men know how to go in and to get out and to stay. They have to dream them before they start. So if Anajuwa Vizuri, I'm staying here for this time and all that, actually I couldn't get out. If men decide to get to kutua, makosa kwa kwa, missya. Nothing is stopping. He will just exit. He will just walk out. Kwa women's conference to listen ma tuta wambia, when you want to talk when that wambia, bye, bye. Number two, if the partner doesn't have future goals and he or she wants to have a good time only, you're just wasting. Ask me, I have come across professional time wasters. I think that is true. But you also enjoy their company. You can't waste your time. You can't waste your time. But it's true. These things happen. Ah, these things happen. You can't go kwa yourself. You cannot go kwa yourself. Man James, I see you good morning valsalimi, panelist, big up for them, Missa Limewa. Balthazari says, na huyo jamana tutanganya hua e na fanya gezo mambu zote, sijui gift, wo sijui, na nitu. Anongia pukwa TV. Dua judesha na jua na kura. Gori knows what he's talking about. He's a family man. Kidi Melody says, as we continue, the third one, higher a little bit, if one realize that the partner you are with wants only to use you and only think of themselves. Apani kona shida? Don't we want to use each other? Why are we using one another? It's not the point. If we're not forcing things, we can't do it. We can't do it. But let me say something. Somebody commented about what I was saying. Let me just be honest. I don't buy big gifts. I buy tajitanya things. My wife loves those. Can you afford those big ones? I can. But now you just buy the tajitanya things. So it doesn't cost much. It's economical. There is this song, Amara Brown. It's called Achilles. I don't know if you've heard the song. It goes, Achilles, why are you using me? Why are you using me? That song talks about the partner using tajitanya and body to seduce the lady and turn into ATM. Yes. I don't know if the director can find that song. But it's a nice song. It's called Achilles by Amara Brown. That is the level with which somebody can use you in a relationship. Somebody talked about being used in a relationship. But if you are ready to be that ATM, then why not? Somebody can be somebody's ATM. But it shouldn't be the end result or end goal of a relationship. If the lady or the man you are having in a relationship is endowed economically, then why not use that? Something else that we mentioned is the man or the woman is supposed to be have future plans or is supposed to be a leader or something like that, was it? You need to have somebody's vision. Inasmuch as that vision might not be very clear and there might not be very distinctly defined that what I want in life. But they need to have something so that at least the two of you can work around. I started by saying relationships are like projects. When you're doing a project, you must have a vision, an end game. This project, I want to do this for example if you want to buy cameras. I want to buy a camera so that I start a YouTube channel. I want to start a camera so that I can be a freelance journalist. So that's the same way. I want to get into this relationship getting married. So what will be the things that I'll do so that I can achieve that that end goal. Maybe as we finish, I want you guys to help me understand. It's something I have heard growing up as a girl or just out here in the streets. Can you change the man? Is it possible? To change the man? First who does not want to be changed one and then one who wants to be changed. Is it possible to manipulate either of these? Okay, let me say. I don't know about what you think but what I think is ladies get into a relationship knowing that they will change the man. What a tweak up. But the man the man doesn't change far away from what he is when you're getting into a relationship. They don't fall far away from the tree. They say the fruit doesn't fall far away from the tree. Men marry ladies or they get into a relationship with ladies thinking that they will not change. Way, opposite effect. But they change. If you are having a lady who used to go out this entertainment lady, when they get into a serious relationship for that matter they start changing towards making this relationship work. At least that's what I know for the longest time that I've been around. So they start adjusting to the family. They take up the motherly roles and even if it means shedding away some of the things that they used to do before they will tend to do it. Men will tend to do it but in a very subtle way. Yes. But you can change them. You can tweak them a little. I like the tweaking part. Thank you so much gentlemen. I'm so sorry we got to leave. We got to go three minutes till that time. Thank you so very much for spending your morning with us. You could have been anywhere else. We insist rather that you have an amazing day an amazing start to the week but you can also find us always always remember at 2-5-4 on Facebook Y-2-5-4-10 on Twitter. Hashtag is why in the morning is a daily show. So that means Monday through Friday Saus 7-10am Saus and I promise you if you don't get Saus at least one of these days slide into my DM at Kalameva I will sort you. Saus 7-10am