 So yeah, hello and welcome to another video here me plus you is yes And today we're gonna be talking about I always forget to take the phone out of my pocket. Take it out. Take it out Today we're gonna be talking about the Dutch perspectives Ghanaian perspective of what Self-care is maybe I mean it's difficult to talk for the whole population Yeah, but I mean generally we're gonna talk about the culture of Self-care and mental health. Yeah, and then what it means to both places. Yeah, what it means for me What it means for you what it means for us me plus you is us Are you you didn't introduce yourself, I just I didn't know no, okay. My name is Tommy. I'm Elaine. Yeah, and good to have you here so First of all, let me just say that before I met Elaine I Wasn't really I mean maybe I was doing these activities, especially of course, it's we're social animals and I have friends and I used to do a lot of things with my friends for my happiness for joy for Relaxation and everything. So yeah, I did all those things, but I hadn't Really put them in a category or in a very conscious place of saying that I'm doing this for me because it makes me feel a certain way and It's ultimately good for me In my mental health in the future so the buzzword which is mental health and Self-care or the buzzwords when it's really my dictionary as a conscious effort till We started like, you know Dating so how did I introduce you to it then or how? Yeah, so I realized that in the beginning of our relationship I didn't realize it's I didn't put a label on it but I realized that As I've come to know now your love language is Quality time, right and you would often want us to do things together And we have to like plan them or travel together or do this together or cook together or go here And it was all often very thoughtful You know, so that's what made me like realize that okay that there's some kind of deliberateness to Yeah, these activities You know, and I really enjoyed doing it or doing those activities with you except that I mean at a time because of work I wasn't fully present For the most part. Yeah, so maybe you need to Explain that a little bit. So I think one of the things that you were not familiar with was Going to places like travel. Yeah letting go and just being there Yeah, like literally go to a new place pack out your stuff and just sit on the beach Look at the ways. Yeah, and just be yeah, and in the beginning it was Very grandma's very uncomfortable. Yeah, I was very uncomfortable with Just just going somewhere and not doing anything and Yeah, I mean holiday or like going away is also a luxury like it's it is Well, it's a luxury. I mean it's something you need to save up for like the same if you like shopping You should save up to shop. Yeah, but if you like to for me, I like to Go out of town because it literally brings you new ideas and you you reset. Yeah, like you wake up in a new place Yeah, you said from the monotony of yeah, the daily daily like routine It's nice to step out from that sometimes and especially in our crowd because our crowd is hot like in temperature But also like the hustle. Yeah is real like when you step out you're literally like You're out of your comfort zone the whole time because you're not sure what's gonna happen. Yeah, like when you get into a bolt You're not sure like we'll get to the right place Will there be something happening on the road like it's always Something even if you want to get something in town, will it be there like you don't know or maybe now with these prices I have to price a spice. Yeah, I got a heart attack from the price. Yeah, so yeah, it's nice to Yeah, it's not the easiest place to find peace. Yeah, you know So it's just more like on the move on the go all the time And that's what our crowd made mainly is and I'm happy that now that we we Um culturally or socially have an awareness to what it means to you know do self-care and Take care of your mental health. I'm realizing that it's something that's now changing people who are becoming much more Aware of you know the activities that's bring them peace of mind that slows them down that resets them Yeah, yeah, and it's becoming quite popular now as well Yeah, I mean, it's really out there is a social media like oh self-care this self-care that I think it's nice But I also realized there's a lot of like Commercialization of the self-care thing. It's like you need one white. Yeah worldwide not only Anna But like as if you need to spend like a lot of money on a spa day or something It's fine. If you want to spend money on spotty. That's fine But self-care doesn't necessarily need to cost a lot of money. Yeah, like for so for me Walking the dog like after a work day or going for a walk with Eli after work days also self-care Yeah, just being outside of the house be getting some fresh air. It's it doesn't cost a thing. It's only cost time Right. Yeah I just thought of going for the stupid walk for the stupid better Yes, there's this but should I tell like there's this funny video of an old man who was Going for brisk walking and the caption is going for this stupid walk for my stupid better help Yes, but it actually does help. Yeah, so the deliverance which yeah So what other things do you do for self-care? Yeah, so um, I Don't know if I should talk about only mine or I should talk about generally what I've witnessed Oh, you can talk about both, but or okay, but for me, okay one of my self-care activities would be The Sunday ritual of going to eat for food. Mmm. What does it do for you? I don't know. It's okay So first of all on is to go together, but now Yeah, can I? But I mean, it's you know, the the the luxury bits or the the luxury attachment to self-care And like you're saying it doesn't have to be commercial although. Yes I'm spending to get for food at a particular place that I like but it's the fact that it only happens once a week makes you cherish it more and look forward to it and on on on the average or like from Monday to Saturday, I probably wouldn't even drink beer or any alcohol But for that particular day, I would drink one bottle of beer and have this meal And that's how my Sunday in and I relax after yeah, you know, so that's one of my self-care routines that I like religiously Love to do that's nice. Yeah. What about you? I think mine are a bit like smaller I mean, I like to write things down when I get the time and I like to go for walks when I get the time and For me, it's important to move my body So I feel in especially if you have an office job like I have you sit a lot so for me to Do some yoga either with YouTube or a class is really nice just to move your body and Just move like not like you're thinking a lot behind the screen a lot like Yeah, you're planning a lot you're coordinating a lot in your day-to-day So it's nice to just be on a mat and stretch your limbs and just be I think that's and I do it also a lot at home just with Searching for a YouTube video. I think it's nice to do and then I go But let's let's let's talk about the the social construct of self-care and mental health and What it means to I? Mean you're not speaking for the whole population, but in the Netherlands and in the Netherlands What's what do these people do? Yeah, I don't know if I'm necessarily doing it the Dutch way I don't know if there's one Dutch way of self-care. I think Dutch people We like to talk a lot Yeah, like whenever we have meetings or birthdays or meet-ups like if I go for coffee with a friend We would always talk while in Ghana. You also just go listen to music like it's a more like a free-floating kind of thing But self-care wise I think the walks and like being in nature is definitely a Dutch thing. I Not crowd as something I do miss like I mean you have Lake of Potetco Gardens, of course But it's like one place where you can go you can go to the beach, but then there's also a lot of party people there So it's not a serene as in the Netherlands I think people do a lot of walks and the nice thing about walking together is that you're both like Facing forward. So you have if you will notice also in the car You'll have different conversations now when you're sitting like across from each other I think that helps Yeah, and I mean I think people in the Netherlands also do a lot of retail therapy Yeah, but what yeah, but what I'm asking on the on the knowledge and Culture in terms of how conscious people are off These said activities being a self-care and I think people like the walks people do like so I hear a lot of people who go for a During their lunch break go for a walk just to be like gets fresh air and all these things and I know like Whenever the sun shines no matter how cold it is people go Dutch people go sits on the terrace like and they They have a park somewhere in the parks. Yeah, so these kind of things. I think the outside is definitely a Something people do for their mental health Yeah outside of that. I'm not sure like people meet up a lot for social stuff like doing a coffee But I don't know necessarily if people mark that as self-care Like as if they they're doing it for the amulet. Yeah, and I'm sure like there's a lot There's a gym culture in the Netherlands as well. So that's there doing sports is very important if you don't do sports It's you're bit an odd like everybody has one or two sports They do or go to the gym or it's you don't count cycling a sport. No like the cycling I don't transportation and getting around I think it's very functional I think people do enjoy the cycling But it's also something that is so common that is not seen as a sport. No and also not seen as self-care You would just move from a to B. That's I think Yeah, I'm asking I asked I asked because I mean that's also that the topic of conversation here But generally I think here in Ghana Also, I think we also have activities or social activities that we do like especially when we're kids would Playing groups, you know, all these things that we used to do the pump and other people low and everything When we grow up it's more the meeting your friends somewhere to eat and tease each other and drink and Only recently that I mean not recently on it's not only recently it's been there for a while, but the whole Knowledge or accessibility to these concepts that okay, like, you know, people go through depressive episodes and It's because we're just going like running back and forth with work And this is not doing a lot for ourselves and yeah, you know that the whole Idea or not idea or the knowledge of what's Mental health meant wasn't very popular But I think it's also now coming. No, yeah with our generation maybe the one before but yeah That there's more time for it or people prioritize it. Yeah Because I'm sure our parents also needed self care, but I'm sure there wasn't like a lot of space or Yeah, to actually implement these kind of things So I guess That would mean that it's more something that's becoming very common in From our generation going yeah, maybe all these things were done From our parents time, but then we didn't have a categorization or or vocabulary for it Yeah, vocabulary for it to know that this is what I mean people like I Don't know about your dad, but my dad would watch like Sunday football in the evening religiously that could have been For his voice routine as well. Yeah news news and football and all these yeah, so those were also moments I think for me I I think ever since the COVID lockdown I didn't use to watch a lot of TV But ever since the lockdown and ever since I became pregnant I Just like to watch TV because it just makes me tune out because I think a lot during the day When I watch TV it just slows down. Yeah, and especially I have these guilty pleasures watching trash TV Trash TV, it's not trash TV, but it's like reality TV and like series that doesn't make you think a lot Yes, which is also nice But I also noticed that Like what can is do or what I notice in my environment here in our cries that people are good in checking in on each other like the small calls Like the people call you like hey, how are you doing right? Yeah, or those are not or you feel like that's chit-chat Because it's you but you can also if there's something going on you can actually share Yeah, but I also realized that the depth of such conversations Again, we hadn't built the level of vocabulary that we have built now that I mean The for example like even to dates if you ask somebody Unless they know that oh you want to delve deeper into a certain kind of conversation. How are you doing? Do just say I'm fine. Yeah, okay You know I'm saying like if it's a good friend calling you like hey, what's up? Like what have you been up to you can actually share right? It's a platform that you can share but it depends on the person So I won't I won't generalize that's what I'm trying to know, but I think okay Okay, maybe I should say like the habit of calling like just briefly checking in yeah That's very for me. It's unique like I didn't know that in the Netherlands right now as we text a lot And I was becoming a thing as well here with texts. Yeah, but usually it was calls Yes, yeah people just call like hey, how are you doing? I haven't seen you a lot and it's also good because you know in our crowd and the traffic you might not be able to see each other like every week Because one person lives on this side one lives on this letter. You really have to that's why people meet at Abrea or yeah outside places. Yeah, they're refined and all the tour booths and then walk up the hill and Yeah Regan the calories and walk back. Yeah, I think that the active life is also Like becoming more and more in the Ghana common Common yeah, yeah, but then now it's I like the fact that it's now become a It's been merged with our social interaction and you know a sense of belonging and Mental health as well. I think for me honestly. Hmm That's one thing I don't really like about kind of like people Responds so fast on their phones. So for me self-care sometimes to distance myself To know it a bit tune out a bit like put my phone in a corner Of course when it rings, I will go check but not be on a screen all the time For me that's self care, but I know for you is the other way around. Yeah, your self care is being on your phone Yeah, and Responding on time We used to actually fight about that because Elaine would go, you know, when Elaine goes out with her friends She tunes out completely. She's present. She's talking. I have my phone in my back. I'm not looking at it You've texted her and what you texted requires the response, but for the average Ghanaian Maybe I'm not speaking for everybody or but I realized that for the average Ghanaian Your phone is next to you even if you're not on the phone while speaking to the other person But it's next to you and you probably say that oh, can I reply this text or can I pick up this call? And you quickly just pick oh, it's my wife and then you reply it. Okay. This was happening But not to the point where like the phone is my back pocket. I didn't hear you call I didn't hear you text. I didn't see you text and then by the time I see it It's either too late or that means that you're always multi-tasking So for me, that's a bit sometimes I just want to be I'm somebody who needs to be very Present. I'm a very present person when I'm doing something. I'm doing it hundred percent Like when I'm doing something about 100% so if my phone is there like I get this pressure to oh I have to do this and then this then the person replies immediately. I'm like, oh, I don't want to reply Oh, like I get a lot of pressure from my phone. I want to know what the people watching think about this Is it something that you think? Yeah There's something that you do do you put your phone in your back and your present the whole time If you're gonna be there for three hours, you know, you know, what's I hear little judgment here You don't know what's happening or it's close by I mean you may look at it and judge by the importance of the messages like put it out Like maybe you tell the person oh, excuse me But tell them about your phone habit because you do you like to really indulge yourself in Your phone like he can be on his phone for one half hour just laughing to himself Like oh like really immersing yourself in social media. I don't I have it of watching trash TV Well, I I if I'm not working Yeah, if I'm not working. I'm just I mean scrolling through reels or tick tock laughing at things or learning things or getting inspired by new things Work on yeah, so it's basically like for a kid of all the different What all the music no, it's no so for me it Science has even proven how quickly people skip and How their attention before it catches my attention it takes a while before something catches my attention And if it does it's not too much for me I have chosen to stop here and watch but you still get that dopamine spike No, like I think it's very it's boom boom boom. Anyway, anyway, you like to distract yourself that way Which is also a form of self care form of self-care Block everything out just be a white phone So, yeah, this is this is our perspective I think again, I'll reiterate that our generation is becoming more aware having more vocabulary About self-care mental health. And so we're building new ways of Engaging each other and with travel, you know, also with the availability of the fact that I mean now they are cars You know So I know so notice in Ghana people Like people like to call in their cars Like whenever you see people driving mostly they're on their phone and then you told me I think I was we were talking about a thing You said like it was one of the few places where you actually alone. Yes in the car most of the time So it's funny that like a commute in our crowd Even though sometimes the road it can be hectic can be a place of self-care. Yeah it's hectic most of the time in traffic, but then I mean if you are in your car and Of course, you're using the AC or something or not and you're comfortable in the car for the most parts You're alone. Yeah, and it's also one of the places where if you want to have a long conversation with somebody You can't because most public places or even private places in the house when you go There's a lot of noises a lot of people and you have to engage those people, you know And this is not a lot of places or it's not it's not the right time for you to pick up a phone and just be there for Hours on end and yeah, it's minding anybody. So sometimes your calls either business or personal You pick them up in the car. Yeah, that was I don't I'm not sure if we do that than it I mean, I didn't have a car in England so I can't compare. Yeah, but it's nice that people use that kind of space, too Yeah, like I would be going home and I would call a friend. I haven't spoken to in a while Also selfishly to keep me company while I drive Yeah, so on speaker. I'm just driving and then we're having a conversation You know while I drive and then when I get home like yeah, so I've got like I'm home now. So yeah Bye. No. Yeah, I mean, would I take it to the WhatsApp or we'll talk? Well, it's a nice Habit. Yeah, I think cars self-care is like or like a drive a commuter self-care is quite a unique thing So these are perspectives Let us know what yours are your routines your favorite self-care routine. Yeah, let us know in the comment session C session C-section another C-section Thank you so much for watching and we'll catch you in the next one. See you. Take care of yourself. Take care of yourself first and foremost. Yeah