 Well, hello there, my beautiful internet friends. Welcome back. I'm very excited to bring you today's video because I feel like lists on YouTube do well, but this is a very unique and special list that I feel like I'm uniquely qualified to talk about. There are a number of things that I wish I had known before becoming an amputee and there are some things that people just don't tell you and some things that there's just no way to know and I'm gonna clue you into that secret today, though hopefully you'll never have to know any of these things for yourself. Here's to hoping you don't have to actually get a limb chopped off. However, on the off chance that you are facing amputation or you know someone facing amputation, that was weird. My light just like glitched out there. Hmm. I'm gonna keep that in. Or on the off chance that you know anyone who is about to become an amputee or just became one or you just think this stuff is interesting. I wanted to do a countdown of the top 10 things I wish I had known before I actually had my leg chopped off. If you do not know me or my story, I'm gonna give you like a 30-second quick context for this video. I am a below-the-knee amputee. Got a carbon fiber rocket foot right here. It's working out. Okay, so far. I've actually had my leg chopped off twice. Once 13 months ago and once three months ago due to a horseback riding accident when I was 13. I fell off a horse, I shattered my ankle, and that led to years of surgeries trying to make it better that never really worked. At 27, I decided I was done and we made the call to go ahead with a below-the-knee amputation and here we are today. With that being said, this last year has been anything but predictable or expected. Being an amputee has been anything but predictable or expected and one of the big reasons that I started this channel was to share information because there wasn't enough. When I was trying to prepare for this major massive life change, I wanted more. Like I wanted to know the questions to ask. I wanted to hear stories on the good side and the bad side. So I was thinking about last night and I was like, you know what? I wish a list existed before I had my leg chopped off of like the top things to know. And so here are the top things I wish I had known before it became an amputee. Point number one, which is something I'm currently experiencing, which a lot of people ask me about and wonder why I'm not doing more, is that if you get fitted for a prosthetic limb, in my case a leg, you're not going to be able to wear it every day, which kind of made no sense to me when I first looked into it. I kind of thought of prosthetic limbs as something you just pop on and go, but they're a lot more complicated than that. It takes a little while to get fitted for one, but even when you have that fitting, you're going back to get it fitted again and again. Sometimes there's issues, sometimes you get weird pressure points that hurt, sometimes you develop skin issues, and you have to keep it all for, you know, a week or two at a time. And so it's not a straight path even when you have a prosthetic leg. Number two, there are absolutely no guarantees and I realize that this is true for everywhere in life, but when I was reading about the healing process for, you know, losing your leg and the timeline for it and all of that, I kind of believed it. Even though I realized that those were estimates, I still adopted them as, okay, so if I have my leg cut off six weeks after that, I'll probably get fitted for a prosthetic, maybe eight, and then I'll be walking by this point, and then I might be able to start running by this point, and the reality of the situation is that there are no guarantees. I was a fantastic candidate for this surgery working really smoothly, and even then I had to have a second surgery, and then I had to have my leg amputated a second time, because things just didn't heal right, things happen, and there are no guarantees, and I think that I would have done better with this whole process emotionally if I'd understood that, yeah, there are some benchmarks, but don't hold too tightly to them. That leads us into number three, which is please, please for the love of God and all that is holy, save yourself so much suffering and do not compare your healing journey to anybody else's. As I became an amputee, as I started down this path, I joined Facebook forums for amputees and online support groups and tried to absorb as much information as I could, like I said, but the problem with that is that I started comparing my story and my timeline to absolutely everybody else's, and as things didn't go according to plan, I felt like I was falling behind, I felt like something was wrong with me or like my story was going the wrong way. I think we all know this in theory, but comparison is a thief of joy. It's so easy to look at other people's journeys and stories and timelines and think that those should be ours, or that should be what we're, you know, shooting for, but the important part to remember is that your healing journey is unique to you, and don't compare yourself to other amputees journeys because they're not yours. You actually don't know everything that's going on in your life, and the only thing that really actually matters is focusing on your healing exactly where you're at. Thing number four, my house does not work well for dealing with a disability, and I've realized that over the last year and a half. Now I don't have the capability right now to just up and buy a house that's somewhere else and more suited to me, and that's okay, so we've made modifications for it, but if you are about to undergo some major life change, if you are going to be dealing with an amputation or something like that, put as much thought as you can into the layout of your house. Now I did some little things, like I adjusted my bathroom to make it a little bit safer for me, but I didn't really do anything else, like I didn't, um, you know, equip my kitchen to make it safer for me to move around as I was learning to live without a leg. I didn't do anything for trying to get upstairs and downstairs. I was just like, I'll just use my crutches like I always have, but when you're living like constantly without a limb, it's a little bit different. So I mean if you know that this is something that's coming up in a perfect world, I would say buy a nice flat house if you are blessed with that type of money. Put as much thought as possible into your home environment and how to make that as simple for living as possible because it's all the little things that just add up and as easy as you can make navigating your home as safe as you can make that feel as comfortable as you can make that feel the better. Tip number five, this one's a challenging one for me, but it's okay to switch doctors and it's okay to switch prosthetics people, prosthetists. I have a habit of wanting to please people. I have a habit of not wanting to cause conflict or just assuming that I don't understand things and other people who are professionals must understand the better, which is generally the case, but when it comes to advocating for yourself with prosthetics, surgeries or doctors, do not be afraid to speak up for yourself. Do not be afraid to be like, you know what, I don't feel like I really click with these people. I am going to find a new place and don't carry any guilt or shame about that because this is your life. This is your body and this is something that is so important. Finding the right prosthetist is absolutely vital and I'm lucky enough to have done that, but it took a little while. So if someone isn't working for you, find someone else. If you have that ability because it's worth it, this is an uncomfortable process and if one piece of discomfort can be removed by making sure that the people you are working with you feel safe and comfortable with, do that. Number six, mental fatigue. I thought a lot about the physical implications of losing a limb, but I'll be honest, the mental ones are probably way more. I'm not even talking about the emotional impact. I'm talking about all of the little things throughout the day that are different, all of the little things that take a little bit more thought and there is this mental fatigue that just takes over and it's exhausting. You need a lot more rest, you need better nutrition, you need to take care of your mind and recognize the fact that the tiniest little things, like realizing that you have to figure out a way to stand safely and stand differently when brushing your teeth and oh, I'm not going to be able to get up in the middle of the night and go to the bathroom and just do it. I'm going to have to get my crutches and make sure that that's safe and where's the lights? Are they within reaching distance and all of that? If you're leaving the house, what do you need to bring to make sure you have absolutely everything with you? Because you only want to make the trip to the car once because it's exhausting to get there. It's stuff like that that takes so much mental energy that I didn't even consider and I think taking care of my mind is something I could have done a little bit better. I did and I do try to pay attention to my emotional state but the fact that I was mentally exhausted and done for so many weeks and honestly months after my amputations was something that was kind of unexpected. It is all those tiny little things that add up and I think that's important to be aware of and realize that that's entirely normal and that's going to happen and also that it will get easier, it also will get better, it just takes time. Number seven falls are bad. I was talking to a prosthetist the other day about this actually and what they said to me is that more significant injuries as in longer healing time were sustained from amputees falling after surgery than from the amputation surgery itself and I can personally test this. I had a bad fall in a restaurant because they did not feel like putting signs up that their floors were literally covered in grease and I went down hard and it set me back so many months and eventually led to me having to have my leg amputated a second time. The first amputation itself had gone smoothly, all things considered, I was healing well but that fall put everything at a screeching halt. I took so many steps backwards and I put my life on hold for literally over eight months. With that being said, learn how to fall. This is something that I had done earlier in my life and the specific situation which I fell and got hurt was kind of unavoidable but if your physical therapist is like hey let's learn how to fall or if at the hospital they're trying to teach you things about that, pay attention to it, it really matters because even if you're generally a well-balanced person, your entire balance in your body is thrown off by the fact that you're missing significant weight on one side of your body, you're missing a part of your body, everything's different and if you fall, you can set things back a long time. Take fall seriously and take all the precautions that you possibly can. Number eight, this is a weird one and actually someone did tell me about this before my amputation which I am forever indebted for, thank you. There is a particular fetish around amputation which is absolutely fine, that's great, whatever does it for someone I have no problem with but if you're an amputee on social media there are two things that you should be aware of, feel free to skip this part if this stuff weirds you out at all but first of all people will probably steal your images and put them on weird sites without asking for permission in a very disrespectful way. So if you post a picture of your leg in a cast after it's been amputated in the hospital or you post a picture of your residual limb where it's clear that you're missing a leg or an arm or whatever it is, people may steal your pictures and put them in places you do not want them to be. That is an unfortunate reality, I personally have chosen to still be on social media anyways, I want to share my life and I realize that there are some ugly consequences to that sometimes and I hope that those are minimized but I honestly don't know. And the second thing is that people will reach out to you in a very disrespectful way, they're called devotees, they are not all bad, I've had great conversations with them online before, people who are very respectful, they're just very attracted to amputees and that's great but people will also objectify you for your disability, people will objectify you for the fact that you now look different and that can feel so ridiculously uncomfortable. That was something that when I was told I was like wait, that's a thing? Like people do that? I was very naive about it and then those messages did come in and it was important for me to be aware of them so even though technically someone did tell me about this before amputation I would like to share it with you as well. Again, nothing against anyone who's into whatever they are into as long as all parties are consenting. However, it's not cool to send messages to people who aren't asking for those messages. It's not cool to send aggressive sexual messages or weird ass pictures or ask for pictures or anything like that that is disrespectful and not okay and be aware that it may happen. Number nine, staring is gonna happen. Now you're probably well aware of this fact. I'm guessing if you're not an amputee, like I wasn't for most of my life, you've probably stared at an amputee or two in your lifetime and that is perfectly okay. The thing about this that surprised me because I fully was aware of the fact that it would happen was the sense of being very unsafe, the loss of invisibility. I was noticeable absolutely everywhere I went all of the time. I am now finally at a point in my journey where I can wear jeans and cover my leg and walk kind of normally where people might not notice. For about a year I didn't have that luxury and suddenly I could not be invisible anywhere I went ever and it is, it's really uncomfortable knowing that everyone is aware of you, knowing that everyone can see you, knowing that everyone can see that you're different and though that's generally not a bad thing, people are curious and that's totally fine. It is extremely overwhelming sometimes to be in public and to lose the ability to disappear into a crowd, to know that people are noticing you, to know that people are looking at you. It's exposing, it feels vulnerable, it's unavoidable and it affected me a lot more than I thought it would. So be aware of the fact that people are going to stare. The vast majority of the time people are just curious, they're just interested and it took me a while to work through being frustrated or angry or anything like that to just being like hey you know ask me a question if you have a question. Occasionally some days I still get frustrated if people are staring for too long especially when they're adults, if kids do it whatever they're just, they're curious and they're cute but just be aware that people staring at you may affect you in ways you didn't expect it to. Last but not least, number 10, you are not required to be anybody's inspiration. When I was in the hospital my husband was posting pictures of my recovery and like coming out of surgery and people were so amazing. I still have screenshots of those messages to my personal Facebook page of people being like God you are such an inspiration, you're doing so great and it helped me through those days in the hospital more than I can tell you but as time went on I felt this pressure to be somebody or to do something significant because everybody will tell you chances are over and over and over again if you are going through this and you're trying to still live life that you are an inspiration and sometimes they expect you to do inspiring things like you know Joe why aren't you running a marathon yet and it's like I don't want to go into my entire medical history and what's going on and why it's so complicated right now. The 10th thing I wish I would have been aware of is that there is some expectation for you to do especially incredible things once you lose a limb and it's okay if you want to and it's okay if you don't want to you're not required to be anybody's inspiration I would highly recommend that you inspire yourself to pursue whatever you want to pursue do it for yourself and know that you do not have to fit into anyone else's mold of being inspirational. I hope this list was helpful for you guys I'm considering doing a part two as there are a few other things I think I'd like to share let me know in the comment section down below if that's something that you would like to hear about thank you so much to my patrons who support these videos I cannot express my gratitude enough for all that you do for me and to you watching this video right now thank you so much for spending a few days out of oh not a few days a few minutes out of your day here with me you could be anywhere in the world doing anything else but you chose to spend it with me and I'm grateful I love you guys I'm thinking of you and I will see you in the next video