 Slapped a thrush off onto a sandwich come Welcome to the Marty Michael fully actual podcast is episode number three three three last episode was a movie immediately age restricted We've never had that before we've had videos get age restricted. They're all demonetized But age restricted is a next level up the level after that is complete removal of a video And we think it's because we had kissing competition in the title. Matt thinks it's because of the vulgar things that he thinks about Not the one I think about what you said Good boy, good boy, Bosley. I gave him a haircut. He looks a bit gray today. Yeah, he's an old man Oi Man, it's been a wild um wild week. I uh, really? Yeah, it's been busy man. It's been real busy and we found out some good news today. We can't tell you guys yet But is it what I think? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah on Friday the thing of the thing of the thing. Yeah, yes, but next Monday You'll will be it will announce it What it's like, you know when something might should be happening But then it doesn't happen last second and then it's like if we get your hopes up and we got ourselves Oh, so we would kill ourselves if we found out that like this doesn't happen So it doesn't happen. We'll still tell you as well. Oh, yeah true, but it's just it's it's cool. All right. It's a cool thing I don't think like they have power of thoughts happiness will happen. Yeah, that's exactly right Matt. And did you is that from a poem? Yeah Thanks Thanks power of one. He's read that book And he's watched the musketeers, which is extremely inspirational cunt. Oh, man. I got a bone to pick with you today brown Matt Michael is not happy about the star wars I was just uh, I feel good man the website. Have we been filming some bangers a wow? We got really really really strange last week. What's coming out on the website right now? I broke a world record Oh, we haven't oh, we did break it. I saw a clip of whatever you filmed the other week and it's not on Yeah, do you like it? No We mentioned it in last week's podcast the chest bra and let's just say it was a success Five out of the six was done at the same time Look, I don't know. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to retract that statement Um, yeah, there's some cool shit coming out on the website So um, have a look 21 day free trial the exciting thing that's happening this friday We'll be posting it there first as well. So um flilly clilly cloller flayer And that's just a little joke that we have amongst us. Yeah We're going to put on your gravestone in five years Uh, look at my tongue Fucking idiot. Look at my tongue. Didn't you do that? All right Who can do the best Ready go And michael wins that one um today also A bit scary the fucking my heart's been or like like I mentioned after the holiday I keep mentioning the hardship just because people always ask about it. So I assume that there's some interest Some people do care about you. Yeah. So um after the holidays Blood pressure was high since it's been sober and clean it's come all the way down But today I was literally just noticing I was like, oh fuck my blood pressure has been really good lately And then my heart started beating it would go boom boom boom boom boom. It's anxiety induced If you think about it and how it kept fluttering and no because it was just sitting at nandos There was nothing going on. What were the stress levels like started fine? Sure, you weren't thinking too much about you know, what's happening Then when it starts happening usually, you know, it might happen once and then it won't happen for like four days And then it happened once and then it might happen for four days So it's just like a one-time event But this just kept going for like a good Half an hour to begin with and then I was like freak and then I got anxious because I was freaking out I was like, why is it not for stopping? But anyway, it's okay now for yeah, it's okay now I literally had a little flutter just right right before we started but like Like what do I do about that? Do I go back to the fucking cardiologists and go through fucking 50 tests again and shit myself the whole time There's a poll between us. It's making me difficult to see. Yeah. I had this issue with chest spray last week too Yeah, it was it's I must say it made it really awkward for me because he would just constantly look at me I wanted to just relax and be like But like I couldn't because I had to really be like dude He has some grip strength twice during the prank calls. He grabbed me like and like could like laughing He's like, you know people grab you sometime when they're laughing He grabbed me with a full like clinch of hand And he's got some It would be hard to escape him if he was dwelling Would you I think what we'll do we can slide these back a fraction and we can slide that just a fraction for 30 grand Would you suck chest spray off? Oh You've got five seconds santa. Otherwise your mother dies in a monster truck just for five minutes and he doesn't come Oh, no, what what no, I want to at least I know a bit more 30 grand thousand 30,000 cash right here right now. I'm scared. I'll fall for him 35k I've been like everyone's got a price man Yeah, they do Would you how much 30 grand? No, I said no 35 It's five minutes and he doesn't blow Five minutes of sucking you can like laugh and shit and be like you can have breaks like look at um, you could even just lick Like an ice cream. You don't have to get it all the way in you just lick at it And it has to be a lick every three seconds for five minutes Please Please for 35 grand. That's an in-ground swimming pool. You can get one next to that one Move on. Okay. Sorry. How's how's how's how's how's work been brown? Tell us what's keeping you up at night Is it busy? No Lots of orders And it's over. He's finally gonna do it All right, brown. It was a great friendship. You're a fucking great friend And as matt leaves the podcast set we will now move To our sponsors Athletic greens athletic greens athletic let it let it greens athletic greens athletic greens buy it buy it buy it now Buy it dick buy it dick buy some greens athletic greens Seriously though bro Athletic greens is 75 nutrients all smushed together in a delicious powder. You have that right? You don't need to worry so much about your fucking shit diet matt brown You can eat some more shit food. You can have a fucking piece up on the weekend All the drugs all the drugs you want because you're balancing it, right? You harm your body. You fix it with athletic greens All right athletic greens slash fully actual you get a free travel pack Can't and did you know that vitamin d3 is one of the most The modern one has a modern person is the most efficient in vitamin d3 You've never had it you've never had because you're never in the sun because i'm pale and i'm working in Air-conditioned office and on the weekends i play in an air-conditioned lounge room You're never outside and you have no vitamin d3. You fucking can't So go to athletic greens slash fully actual and get a monthly subscription So you don't have to think about it outsource your health bros Yeah, it's just you pay some money and then you don't die Yeah, you live longer you repair what you're doing if we had athletic greens in our 20s I would 100% be taking that shit bro. I'd be doing meth if we had it in our 20s, bro You can do so much hardcore drugs if you have athletic greens This you think we had it before shoot up heroin shoot up meth have some ice smokes meth Fuck a prostitute smokes some meth. No dom. You can get all the stis snort snort drugs snort snort snort snort athletic greens Athletic greens. Oh my ears hurt also for athletes Man escaped Look, I don't know. I'm running out of waves on how to say this There are still so many of you That just sit there and you think oh You have a bit of a laugh about it. Oh here goes money. He's about to go off on another rant And you think to yourself. Oh, I'll do it one day. Oh, I might do it next week. Oh, we don't have a bit of money Shut the fuck up You hear that voice in your head you? Do you understand? We might have to cut that I kind of cut out this And yeah, but keep up saying You hear that voice in your head You suppress it You write you you drink and you do drugs and you think about something else and you watch your porn every night mat Oh, you take hours to find the appropriate video And then you watch your porn and you suck all the dopamine out of your fucking skull And you're spiraling down down down down into the pits of personal despair You're nothing you're nothing and you will be nothing you'll die alone and you'll have nothing to show for it 60 years of shit Shit piss and cum unless you go to manscape.com and use our discount code fully actual 20 for 20% off They got all sorts of gear and shavers and shit so you can make your balls Look like works of art. You can get your suck sucked off. You can get your suck sucked off Can't in a museum get on your knees can't You want to get sucked off Go to manscape.com The opposite sex hates you right now Groom yourself. You're competing with millennials that don't have the head on their fucking body Get up Get up Wake up Manscape.com also for women. Yeah the women if you want to get growled out make sure you use it We aren't going down on no headache. Ha that's what the man thinks We're gonna get fucking ruined again I speak to the boys They say I come down on that on the footy field Fully actual 20 Sick of it wear the boncos just at least try it go to manscaped and just look at what they have What's our code fully actual 20 my fucking god every week. It's the same shit You just sit there and you take it in you think i'm joking All right, do you remember what the button is for horoscopes? I think it's this one All right, it's time for horoscopes and what I've done Matt Bosley what I've done is I've compiled The most high expert horoscopians Michael I've compiled their data, right and I've done the horoscopes for Matt Julian and Michael This is you won't get any more accurate than this, right? This isn't just just some average every day horoscope you find on the sunday mail you fucking Come your birthday soon. Yeah When is it March 8th? Everyone remember that write that down. Send make sure you send him some pubic hair send Matt Don't do any of this send Matt pubic hair. I don't want dick He loves horror horror like trauma Matt hear me out Matt before we get into the horoscopes If if we got sent a hundred plumes of pubes from a hundred different men, would you consider gluing them to your hair? Oh Would you curing Matt's baldness will call it you'd be a superstar, bro Oh, look me in the eyes. You will be a superstar, bro They're called you pube nuts. So we'd make a toupee out of a hundred pubes of hair We're gonna need more We're gonna need more. So send you shave your pubes off with manscaped and send them to our PO box PO box 256 taken 4018. We're honestly we're honestly gonna get like three sets of pubic hairs No, no, no, no, no, no. We'll sit. We'll have a we'll literally have a little uh bowl for it Next to the combo. Oh my god by the end of the season Matt brown Will no longer be bald. He will have hair thicker than goats We'll have a bowl. I'll set up a bowl for it. This is good. This is what the box is gonna turn into No, we need your box the pubo box. Yeah the pubo box also for women We need everyone's pubes. It can be underarm hair. It can be I prefer the groin Arseholes great. Just wash first. Otherwise Matt won't do it. Yeah. Yeah, I'm not getting excited about this No, it's just your head. Yeah, Matt. I'm so glad we thought of this. That's what we're gonna do We're gonna have a big pube jar here. Do I have a say? Yeah, you're saying right now No, we're gonna get it sent in we'll fill the pube jar and then we'll smoosh it onto his bald head Dude, oh, oh help Michael. All right. All right. Okay. Here's my response recently. Here's my response Sorry, I will wear it for your fucking pleasure As long as I don't have to deal with it make it do anything. No, no, no, you just sit and make it like this I'll put it on you sit and relax. I'll give you a foot massage and Michael will apply I want a fucking foot massage exactly right There you have it send in your pubes. All right. Here we go horoscopes All right, Michael, what's serious about that? Sorry. Yeah, that's a hundred percent serious We're not doing that. That's just cracked a big vb. Torley. No, it's a mother Sorry, Michael Taurus All right for Taurus this week Venus's time of the month will lead to widespread fungus Massive blood clots will form in your back and your teeth will stink of slutfish cunt Be brave and single out weak kids to piss on Severe your mother's umbilical cord with insults and nut in her handbag You will go blind this month Mars Okay Yes Devastating julians. I figure what he is Use light bulbs as meth pipes for the next few days Your mum's tip milk will be sour as she recovers from that heroin overdose Throw rocks at seckeys that don't let you in because you don't meet the dress code standards Graffiti a sleeping baby for street cred and fuck a bloke Your love for Matt Brown will never die Holy shit having fun. Yeah, I wonder if he did end up fucking a dude last week What I would say so is it said that in three days you'll fuck a bloke or something. Oh, I think I'd say so. Yeah Sorry, he didn't say something. He has before. Oh, remember he said something about it. All right. Here we go Pisces which happens to be mats As Jupiter's moons cram into a cupboard and fuck a far away galaxy comes through in an effort to communicate with the milky way A lone voice projects through the universe searching for the years of matthew gregory brown Matt It's your father quark shift I've been trying to contact you from our home planet quelch I've managed to fuck with the stars with the star signs in your galaxy a bit So the horoscope experts experts can translate my message and relay it to you Our home planet quelch is in grave danger An alien force has risen to power infiltrated our people and has created a divide War is now raging and I fear we will destroy ourselves I need your help You must start having again You must have like you've never had before There's a human girl Eila I've seen her in my dreams She could be the future queen of our people It is vital that you mate with her I will explain more when I can but hear my words before it is all too late son Now go forth and have book three to four prostitutes Tell them all to meet at the same sauna once they're all inside step out of the sauna and lock the door behind you Turn the temperature as high as it goes and watch them start to panic Play heavy death metal music as their fear intensifies Wait 10 minutes Wait 20 minutes Wait 30 minutes Then tell them the first one to make you come will be freed Re-enter the sauna being careful not to let any escape Then sit back and enjoy the panic sucking and watch on as they manically claw at your little brown Desperate to extract your brown seeds It shouldn't take them long Belch as you gush your mints down the throats of your flustered prostitutes then free them all with a flick I use this method to prepare my mind for large battles and I need you to do the same I will be with you always and can see you in my mind Speak to you soon brown What the fuck dude your dad can see you in his mind What the fuck that is crazy Does that make sense to you like what the fuck? So wait, I want to get things clear. What quark shift has gone back to the planet quelch and greg What's is greg like some adopt is he did he adopt you with some shit earth dad? It's earth dad. I've heard matt say that before on the phone. He's earth dad. Holy fuck man Wow, wait. So your dad is telling you that you have to have In order to save the planet quelch Is that right matt? Am I reading that correctly? Apparently Do you fuck this is big are you ready? I was born what about isla? That's good news. That means that she's the one isla's not gonna happen Don't you think it's weird that he had a dream about her as the queen? I don't know man. That's weird to me I reckon it's isla's not gonna happen. It's sexual. You guys need to it's sexual matt. It's not sexual. Okay All right, look, I'll I'll take my foot off the accelerator here. No more photo tagging Oh, wow. Well done ringworms. That's some there was one photo the other day I had more comments of matt brown than it did I hope she's okay with all of it. Hey, we should probably ask probably not Well, you're the one saying it you said you didn't say anything would you said go? Will you put yourself in her shoes? Okay, would you like it if isla's fans were tagging her in your pictures? Yes, you would love that your ego would gush and you'd toss off over it Looking yourself in the mirror and you'd flush your seat down the toilet like it's nothing No, he put it in the bottle so broken Um, I reckon it's good news and I I like it See I look like a fucking idiot. No, no. What about this? What about this? Okay? I la imagine she walked in right now and she's got cheeks. One of her tits is explode exploded can't It's exploded with Like milk has come out. Would you call an m a call an ambulance b? Drive her to the hospital or c take a photo like um Grab a feel on her And you have to answer honestly promise I sort of zoned out when I did explode. All right. Okay here. I'll new analogy Isla walks in. What do you do? And she's like, oh man. I'm a bit fucking toli. Hey She would never talk like that, but imagine that's what that's what the scenario is Gonna happen. She wouldn't She goes fuck. I'm toli can't what do you do exactly that exact voice? I would do that Oh You wouldn't because that's just gone in a flash I can't imagine that coming out you can't imagine. What's your voice? Man, I reckon okay. Well, sorry. We'll come back to it. We'll come on the back. No, just stop But now moving right along that's very exciting. So it sounds like the haves are gonna start returning. Oh, yes All right, guys. It is time for one of our most fucking beautiful segments. That's ever graced earth What are you doing that? We've reached out to hundreds and thousands of browns I've we've picked a handful of champions brown champions and they will now go head to head against brown In a trivia off. We will see who the most knowledgeable brown is by the end of it If they win if they beat brown they get 200 dollars if matt wins Are you fucking crazy if if matt wins It's gonna jackpot and double every single fucking week If a mac can get to grand he gets to keep it So there's a lot on the line here. All right, let's call him Yeah, and by the way your adopted father browns adopted father greg earth dad earth dad fucking got 400 dollars So that's pretty fucking cool. We gave you off We we fed you a good father would have given that to his son. Did he give that to you brown? It's only earth dad it's only earth dad though All right, here we go. Let me put my phone on private and then we call this brown Oh, do I know him? Oh, shut up matt Do I what's his name? I'm not telling you Yo, well, well, well, you're welcome to the martin michael fully actual podcast Do we have talking on the other line another brown? You do you do What is your name champion? Adam brown Adam brown a damn brown. He's from a damn Do you matt? Do you know adam brown? I don't think so. How how weird is this? You guys have the same last name All right, look without further ado adam Okay, i'm gonna ask you guys five questions whoever has more questions right wins and you potentially could win 200 dollars Which is half a bag Or a full good A full shit bag adam like adam. I actually really hope you when you sound like a genuine dude But I am gonna go brown I'm gonna go as hard as I can round support if his last name was another name. You wouldn't say that You let me down last week gave it to you dad so you took the jackpot, but yeah, we're all good All right All right first question. I'm going to throw it to you adam Um How much does an average elephant's brown shit weigh one shit? I will take closest answer Closest answer and on first. Yes uh broken It has to be of leaves 40 kilograms 40 kilo shit per sheet. All right matt brown. What do you think? Oh, I didn't think it'd be that heavy. I'm gonna go two kilos two kilos. Wow. That's the size of my shit What did you say adam? You said 40 40 to two? Yeah, I reckon Okay, the answer is The answer is 18 kilos on average, which gives matt an early lead. Fuck matt's a one nil All right, come on adam. Here we go 18 kilos. That's fucking huge man Who has more followers on instagram Brown cardigan or mrs. Brown's boys matt you can answer first Um, I'm gonna go Brown cardigan adam but Watch our mrs. Brown boys that dude that was the yeah. Yeah Yeah, the show. Yeah. Yeah, uh I reckon that's more. Yeah mrs. Brown boys Brown cardigan has 1.1 mil just wait mrs. Brown's boys has 62 k matt has taken a two nil lead. All right adam You got to fucking pull something amazing out here use all of your brown energy. All right. Here we go True or false Oh, this is gonna be a tough one for you adam Fuck the subber browns planes Is 60 kilometers south of brisbane cbd False uh, is that true or false matt? You got first 60 kilometers from the cbd. Yes False adam, what do you think? And remember matt is matt matt is from brisbane, so he I don't know and I deliver conquering just make sure I get it wrong too. How many wins is that right? Yes, you can like tie this if you go with his answer Then you got to hope that you get the last two correct then it's a two off two Or you can challenge to win if he's wrong and i'm wrong. Yes, correct And then goes to a brown off if you get this wrong right now if you challenge him There's no way you can win but that's if he's right. Sorry He has to be right Yeah All right, what is that brown planes 60 kilometers south of brisbane cbd matt brown thinks it's false All right, okay You are both correct browns it is 30 kilometers south. Okay, so now this is it All right, you got to get both of these right here adam Here we go I will take closest answer and matt you have to answer first The highest mountain in the minaro mountain range in southern new south wales brown mountain What is its elevation? Brown mountains elevation. How many meters matt? He's using his brown 900 meters 900 meters. All right. We'll throw it to you. We've got no mountains here. We'll throw is It's in new south wales. We'll throw it to you adam How many I'm actually being there. I'm trying to think or again being there Hmm the highest Yeah, he did The answer is 1243 it's two one adam's coming back All right, this last one is a movie question. So matt brown loves his movie questions. All right, here we go That's oh, yeah, oh my god In what year Was quintan tarantino's movie jackie brown released matt will throw it to you first since you're in the lead Jackie brown jackie brown um Oh He's seen it. I bet. Yeah, I've seen it. God Brown i'm gonna go 1996 1996. All right adam throwing it to you All right, what question is it? All right number in what year number four Hey, I think I'm just gonna dog him. Is it question number four? This is this is it. This is a question of five. Yeah So if I say the same thing my loot that yes, yeah, you will All right So in what year it was content when he was at release. Oh good 90 See in 19th or do 97 then 97 the answer Is 19 90 eight It is too old Oh Brown off. Oh my god brown out like you have your brown onions off Holy shit. This is exciting. All right. Here we go. We have james coming over to hand me the brown off question This is crazy. Holy shit Holy shit All right Oh First question of the brown off Okay, oh, that makes it hard. All right. So this is a speed round. All right adam Do you understand so whoever answers this question correct first wins? Yeah Brown hill is a Brown hill is a suburb in which state New south wales Keep keep going both of you Victoria I can pass out right now. Oh my god It's one 200 fucking dollars Adam brown just one 200 dollars Adam brown Oh adam. All right. Do you mind adam? Can you please just a word from michael first? Hang on He's pulling his pants down. He's gonna give you a brown word. Thank you. Thank you Oh, that's a very excitement That's brown now adam. Could you please um just DM your bank details and we'll fix you up swing your 200 bucks at the end of the podcast Yeah, good. Well, thanks very much. Well done adam. You are the better brown this day. I'm fucking upset. Thank you Well done. Hey, man. Well done. Hey, damn He's got a stick together. All right, browns. Have a great night adam You too. See ya. See ya, buddy Oh That was crazy, bro. What the hell? That's wallowing in defeat Look at that His eyes glanced down brown look down on the ground. You look at his arm and pick at his scab See saddies. Oh, he growls. He growls at his face and he's comparing thumbs He's sad about the brown questions. He's sad about his last name Brown down brown I know what'll cheer him Press the button for um mad verse. Michael. I don't think there was one. Sorry. Is it that one? Yeah It's a green Come come come Bottle of cum We can't have that on there continuously saying that we don't mean that a bottle of like cum is in c. O. M. E Yeah, it's they don't know that motivation. It's like I don't know that it's a bottle of like Motivation gets you up in the morning. All right, as you all know It is currently too nil in the hugest massivist competition that we've ever Hosted this is a competition of matt verse. Michael whoever wins more at the end of the season gets to keep the famed matt's mince bottle Months of work went into that thousands of deaths Millions of small corpses floating in a bottle And they will be owned by either matt or michael Now matt lost the kissing competition last week and he's desperate to make it back All right, he's been trying to get get out of me what the competition is so he can't prepare but I said I said no brown I ain't telling you yeah, he has michael also. What do you guys think about the loser gets a spatula to the arm? I like it Just because it makes it a bit sexier. It makes you try a bit harder brown or sexual Depends what the competition is Competition. Yeah, look at this See that sorry anyway For today's competition We have my doubt who Gives the better lap dance Oh my god You will have 20 seconds each I will play a song on spotify and the catch is You have to give the lap dance to each other I will take a seat on the ground and matt will perform for michael and then michael will perform for matt You decide the best one 20 seconds of sexy sensual dancing. No, this is getting so homo erotic. Yeah, this is stupid Boys, this is what you signed up for also conna. Don't make the titles anything to do with this Come here, brown. You get some luxury Oh, man, this is so exciting. This is really really spot-on entertainment All right paper scissors rocks. It's not so bad down here matt. Honestly. Yeah. Yeah, you want to yeah Shut up. Look you can lie like a mermaid. Yeah. Tell me after fuck. I need I need tunes, man Yeah, yeah, I'll play I'll play whatever you want on spotify. I do the same song. So it's fair All right, um do the you can leave. What about what about leave your Do the uh, no, no, no, no, no. What about that shorn paul? Get busy. No, no, no, no. Do the strip song from magic mic down down down down The magic mic strip song just do that magic mic I reckon shake that thing by fucking people will understand busy by fucking shorn paul more people understand Shake that thing miss cut it cut it cut it rock for it Whoever go whoever loses goes first. No and gets to choose the song It is paper rock I choose song get busy shorn paul and you're going first song All right making me go first so You can see where the issues are Well matt you have to just relax your hips and really just go for it. It's 20 seconds matt. All right standing up I'll start I'll start the music Oh, you won't be able to hear the music because it's all I'll disconnect from the bluetooth And when I say stop you stop. All right matt my suggestion is give this your all matt brown It's just us three in the room. Okay. Ignore the cameras. It's just us three Yeah, just don't get nervous All right, here we go ready starting in five four three Yeah, that's good. We want james to watch It's like it's like we're on the boys trip. All right. Just forget the cameras and the lights and everything just Yes, come on here. We got your 20 seconds starts in three two one more matt please Come on. There's no bass. Listen. Let the music take you. Let the music take your soul. Can't Shake him shake your body to the music Shake your body on the music. Is he got a chance? Matt matt matt matt matt i feel like he needs a pep talk matt sit down Okay, look i'll let you pick your own music Matt you have to try you can't stand there looking at him like you're about to fuck him. All right Have a go move your hips from side to side close your eyes and let the music take your control of your body No one's watching you bro It's just us here. It's just a bunch of mates having a laugh in our mid 30s Yes, you can matt come on lose control. Yeah, that's it. That's it. Come on matt Come on, mate a few more seconds. Here we go. Yeah, get that ass Yeah, that's it, baby. That's it, baby Oh, yeah, look at that. That's beautiful All right, that's not bad matt. Okay, at least you got a score on the board this time You got a score on the board. You got a score on the board. It's not bad Don't squash me too All right, Michael's turn I'm gonna fucking channel this. Yeah, I didn't get time to prepare Yeah, you won't have some of them both of us like it's not fair None of this is fair life isn't fair brown. Do you want to come or not? All right ready, Michael? Yeah Three oh, i'm in the worst pants for this two one. What are you doing? Wow, that was very all right. Let's go back to our original seats and i'll give the final scores Well done That's not easy. Okay being put on the spot like that and having to perform. I know it's not easy I know it's not easy. All right. I don't think I would have won it anyway Matt Can I just can I just no you can't I'm about to give a little can I just give you a little bit of feedback, right? If you want to succeed in this competition competition You have to have some they're all gonna be the shitest fucking thing. Can you just can you just let me speak for a second? It's a whole competition without interrupting me Yeah, whatever is thrown at you brown. I will test you to your limits sexually emotionally Physically and spiritually you understand now, right? You have to have some self-belief I don't know how you're gonna get it, but you need to believe in yourself. I believe in myself I've seen you give dancers to people to other grown men and they are out It's different in front of cameras though. You had an advantage coming into this. No, I do. You've seen hours and hours of strippers dancing Hang on. Hang on. He had the advantage because he's had hours and hours in front of the camera Matt you he hasn't seen strippers. He's maybe seen three hours worth of strippers dancing You've seen thousands upon thousands of hours of dancing. I have not thousands Anyway, I just thought I'd say that you need to develop some sort of self-belief Otherwise. Yeah, it's three nil to Michael. It's three nil now Michael Oh my god. I must say I was better and look That was always gonna be your win. No, look Matt. I had high hopes for you as if you did There was no way you knew that would be in the strip clubs three nils a big big big big That's yeah, that's nearly a month's worth of competitions. He's ahead of you right now I would love to see the punishment Oh, yeah the punishment man. I gotta hit you with that now Was there a punishment last week? No, we've just decided to add it in because I don't want You've upset me Matt is cranky and cross I'm upset that I lost to Adam and I'm upset that I've that I had to do that The ringworms are not going to be happy because you did not take the punishment. Do you want me to look? I'll set your fire so you make a good point. The ringworms are important. I'll take the punishment That's very very brave. There's no believe it. But yeah, look I do not know what's coming each week either. I was scared of that but I went out my comfort zone and I did it You're a pro-clinic? It's a pro-clinic, huh? Is that hurt brown? So now that hopefully gives you motivation to pick your shit. Use that pain as motivation, baby. Pick it Back to your floor brown Oh, I feel sexy. Hey See the confidence that oozes when you really let yourself go You're fucked. Wait, look, I'm getting rash. All right guys. There you go. That is matt versus michael What had you I've been titty fucking men and they've got sti's and now I've got chlamydia on my tits When's new chair because I'm really struggling on the floor. All right guys. We're going to have a quick episode And we'll be right back A lot less than the wooden spoon but a lot more but a lot more effective As you all know Should we go to q&a first? Yeah, okay, fucking let's do the q&a first if you want us to answer your questions Comment a question on the muddy michael fully actual youtube channel We answer the most liked questions first So have a scroll through the other questions and like the questions that you want us to answer We will answer the most likes first as long as we haven't answered it before skin Uh-huh, that's funny. See what I did there like four The number is doing doodle skin Top question went to steven hunt Uh, I think we've answered this before but we'll do it again Um, if a movie was made about you boys, which actors would you get to play the guys? michael would be denzel Yeah, yeah And I'd be um kira nightly. We've already done this but yeah actually I can see that I know I know Oh, what did we say for matt someone said dany davido for matt? No, I reckon he said train spotted guy, you know, you know, you know, you know the fucking uh the transporter man He's bald Well jason statham. Yeah, that's you and I get we've said this the question has been said before Risa fawns Conor McGregor for matt Conor McGregor. He's not an actor though. Give me about Risa fawns. I like when fucking yeah, it's a fecline. Yeah, what? Who the fuck is that? I knew I knew Oh I'm so hot We we have like I hate it when you come and I haven't prepared the room it smells like shit I Just for clothing Matt's little face. Oh no. What is it? What is it? And we're back Isla, thank you so much for coming isla isla. You're looking great. What have you been doing? Have you have you been working out more or something? I have been your face is like have you yeah, you look different It's just a filter I'm a filter. Yeah, we've been seeing matt's been showing us all the photos you post Fuck it Have you been getting some comments? I believe on your posts. Yeah Yeah, now now before we continue We just want to know is it genuinely annoying when that happens or is it is it okay? Do you do because if it is if it's not helping matt's cause We'll we'll call our army back and we'll direct their energy into something else. Yeah, that's fair to say Just say it's bad and I'll stop. It's not great, but I mean There was one about like, was it honey chicken or something? Yeah, matt had a weird thing I'm kind of sorry if you look at them very much, but I saw a lot of milking happening All right, look you heard it here guys. All right, so let's pull back on the Tagging matt and damning isla for now. Um, we will find something useful for everyone to do People send dms to and then send them to me what they've sent and I was like, that's I had um One that was your father Greg brown or quark shift brown Quark should have been quark shift Yeah So so what's been going on isla? What do what have you been doing? You how's how's how's life? Life's good. I'm down the coast a bit. So down the coast. What about So further from where jackson's living down. Yeah, I'm in palm beach. Who are you? Oh, that's where matt is Born there and she lives in now it's like you're morphing lives in that bro. I lost my virginity there It's sexual. Maybe I can do Well, that's good. So who you living with you living with my friend. Yeah, yeah And and work and everything's going good. Yeah works good. Yeah. Fuck. Yeah. Well, there you go Um, now your only fans going going nuts guys if you want to see what matt wants desires so terribly We'll put isla's only fans link in the description. That's actually my top sob. Yeah. Yeah, I can imagine I was paying. Yeah, it's all the bonuses. Yeah. Well and look what it's produced He's a decent bottle. Yeah, holy shit. He's milked his silk into a bottle. Just picturing your face. It's very runny Yeah, yeah at the bottom. There's clumps. Yeah, if you shake it. Yeah, he'll shake it up. No, no, no, no, no Oh, it's like a star. It's like if you shake it up, it becomes calm Oh, okay. Oh, that's enough. That's enough. That's enough. That's enough. That's enough. Oh How many loads is that? Oh, we can't tell you off air. Yeah, we're a competition guy Um, so now as you know matt is recently, um single. Yeah, unfortunately Uh, now we do apologize for what happened in the finale there. How you weren't selected We did pull matt aside and we're like, bro, bro, what the fuck this shit out of that We fucking went to town on him I actually ended up fucking him Fuck matt that night So, um, you know matt's newly single again and you know, his wounds are still, um, you know open but we we do You know, he's just encouraged you guys that we don't want anything romantic or anything But you know, it just getting to know each other can't hurt friendship. Yeah, just build a friendship matt We are Ah, will they have you guys have you guys been DMing? Okay? No, very occasionally we chat. Okay. I'm just waiting for him to ask me on a proper day Yeah, what the fuck? I always say this matt You've got to be forward You know all the places in palm beach. He keeps thinking. Oh, no, she's just playing. She's just playing She doesn't actually think like it's real like well blower Man, you've got to try. Yeah, you don't try then you don't score in football That's literally what the coach says, bro You've got to shoot to score if you don't shoot it's in the fucking midfielders fucking feet and it's nil nil, bro You want to go home nil nil bro trying I Trying not crying. So anyway, um, so if matt did come to the gold coast and um, well, we asked this last time Look, I'm we're not going to push this any further. All right. We're just going to leave it in matt's A very uncapable hands because that's what he wants Matt seems to think that we're making this really awkward between you guys and that nothing's working Yeah, we're a little awkward We're helping all right. We're not helping. We got a few icebreaker games. Can I throw something out there? Yeah, go on Throw it throw it out to the back. All right. What about we set up a picnic It's all supplied the food the booze the picnic is beautiful We don't well me and marty don't go there That's all we ask all we ask As soon as we go anywhere they get all we ask is we we just set up go pros And live stream it and like you don't live stream it, but we'll edit like a beautiful We can't ask that of them, but look we do have a few icebreaker Games in mind. Oh, no, this is gonna be terrible automata game. All right. So it's a bit of um If we do it will you do it type game? No, that's gay We have we both have fiance so All right, so I'm gonna um, I'm just gonna touch michael's knee and you touch mine. Wait, wait. Let's start with um, I reckon I'll do one first How about okay, this one is called This is called the compliment Talking Oh, oh, shit. They're already I already have an erection. Okay. What about this? Okay. This is um called the compliment my Fuck Yes, you look fucking good, man. Really? I thought I looked pretty. Thank you, dude Yeah, I really appreciate that. I really like what I'm open to hearing what you're saying and thank you, bro I really I really love it. You look great with that hair. Oh, wow. Yeah, I went short blue tie matches your beautiful blue eyes Thank you. Wow. I really dig that compliment. Thank you Matt your eyes look really nice in this lighting with the red hair really compliment each other. Thank you Matt would you care to He's got red hair You have a really nice smile. By the way, that's what Matt looked like before he went bald That exact hair. What did you say to Eila then Matt? I bet she's got a nice smile. Oh, she does And you guys make a laugh at stuff. That's very romantic. That was beautiful and friends. That was friends If you want your teeth No, I'm just saying you're really not you got really nice teeth. Wow, that's a double you have to give him one back No, no, I'm not saying That was an honest question. All right, look now because you've got really nice teeth Or is it just my angle and it just looks perfect? I do sometimes we're having in a while now. I'm insecure. Don't be insecure. I'm one more teeth Okay now moving to the next one. This will be opening up. This will be the um Yeah, yeah, okay So we're both going to tell each other something deep and really try and take a conversation from shallow to like A more meaningful direction. Thank you to come on here A more meaningful direction Okay. Okay. All right, I'll go first. Um I like I haven't spoken about this in a while Michael, but um Like in primary school. I would yeah, I would sometimes I get bullied Um, because I was German and like my neck was Like twice as long as the other kids. Hey, man, that's fine. That's all good I just want you to know that about me because sometimes it affects how I react in certain situations and I might come off as like a bit Um, I don't know like uh, I get triggered easily Sometimes um, so I just want you to know that that's why that happens. Okay. No, I get I killed a kid Okay, thank you so much for sharing that with me. It's fine. I'm all right about it But yeah, I'm glad you opened up Thank you I had like zoned out of what you guys are talking about Raising We're already doing that. That's fine too. Um, all right, Matt, would you like to um open up about anything? Go on just wear the only ones here. Remember A few iPhones a few iPhones on some sticks forget about it. I don't know what to open up about No, I'm not gonna go deep into your past. I won't go. That's what we did dig deep I don't know what to say Anything be vulnerable something from love being being a man is being vulnerable In crying actually cheeks love you all play football. Obviously. We all play football. Yeah, but we're all very vulnerable We all train hard. We go to the gym. We play MMA But we're all sensitive men when it comes to you want something sensitive and we're vulnerable deep from my past Yeah, yeah Something from palm beach, maybe Remember what they used to say to you Put the brown down The brown down the chanta the teachers Uh, I think I already heard about that. Yeah, the brown down. That's pretty big. The chan probably still got around palm beach We're trying to hit you Um, tell her that so when I was young I um, I was annoying my sister What were you doing? Jackson would have introduced you And uh, she's sitting on the couch and I ran and I was gonna like slap her in like the forehead Like a little bastard that I was And um, she like sort of matrixed me and like got out of the way and my like fingers caught like the edge of her forehead and I cut her Wow, that's like I and yeah, like damn. She's bleeding and like My mom I saw this Wait I don't have huge nails. It's just I caught her like actually I was looking at michael's toenails. Just before they're pretty That's rotten That's what man had on his fingers That's hot. Oh Anyway, continue man. Um The second part is is that mum saw this and was like trying to breastfeed you quite angry She's sexual and she used to be like psychological with like her her like sons, you know Dealing out punishments So she'd put her hand in the drawer and like move like the wooden spoons around like she was gonna do But she never would but this time She actually pulled it out and she chased me down the hallway And so I was like sprinting for my life And I dove under the bed and all I remember is like looking back and I could just see this hand try to swing at me with a wooden spoon That's why that's why the wooden spoons hidden in the house and we had to use the spatula man We'll not have wooden spoons in the house or the witch's Yeah a bit of PTSD, but mum is Lovely lovely lady. Thank you. See man. See that was good vulnerable. See how that's see how things have opened up and Everyone's calming and loosey-goosey. Oh, that's better. Say that man. Oh, that's nice loosey-goosey All right now to finish with Don't do like don't talk like that. Stop fighting it. That was too good. You know that was hot Yeah, I know and I just used you like that's nice. Oh, it's getting the brown warm He's getting all his mints. He's churning and bubbling and he's all right the last for the last You know and you know, you don't have to participate in this but it helps to Impress your potential mate. So Michael and I will now both do something to impress each other Something genuinely this isn't the last one. Okay. Yeah, all right. Well, that's the worst podcast of it's like we've got three hours here I just miss a strip Yeah, he did. Yeah Well, I'll show you the well Matt probably won't be impressed. Do you want to have another go Matt now that I was here? Yeah, go on We don't want to push brownies. It's had a rough day. All right. Well, how about an impressing thing ding ding tink tally me All right, ready. I'm we will now impress Michael with something that not many people can do It's on my regimen So it's like, you know Madonna frozen Pitcher pitcher like underwater grass That's hot It's very melodic Nice harmony in the headphone. Yeah. Yeah, that's Madonna. I love her apart from we are Madonna. She's seeing us all done now Um, okay. Shit. I didn't really spruce that on me That's what opening up is all about and getting to know each other see Michael is flustered right now. No, no, I've got one see See how quickly he turned that around brown I can cry on demand All right, here we go. Is that impressive here we go. I think he thinks about Romantic events. Yeah Or he'll just be smearing spit on his eyes Disgust. Oh my god, Michael. Those are foamy tears Such foamy tears It looks like conjunctivitis Hey, you've got got a cum shot. Why are there's a bit but look he's Being vulnerable Being vulnerable, Matt. You guys may laugh but that is he's gone out on Oh, this stripped the little bit that caught together. He's gone out on a limb to try and impress me And I appreciate that. I'm not laughing. Thank you, Michael Thank you a lot. It's okay Kind of get a close-up of that, please Just to show just how impressive that really is All right, I'm sad. I'm vulnerable now. You see you've seen the level of impressiveness age, man Can you delve deep into your little bag of goodies brown? Notting you Anything you can do to impress Isla right now What about a poem you got a poem before? I wanted a strip dance roses are red brown do it. It's a blue. You can put your bum on her like body. No Something's coming. He's about to say something I've got nothing brown. You need girls like vulnerability. Yeah, and they all appreciate confidence. Yeah, I am vulnerable Confidence is very important girls appreciate effort assertiveness yourself in the mirror Girls appreciate effort Girls appreciate effort Show how big your feet are That's nice, holy shit, that's nice for it. All right. Well done, Matt. That was very impressive Showed all your feet very impressive, Matt. Are they No All right, Michael, have you got is that Isla just do you want to show a school to Matt or as it is we have been We have been neglecting Isla. We didn't let her open up about some trauma So you can do a skill. You don't have the Isla as a guest. You don't have to What am I doing a skill a skill you don't have to though you we can just pass I can fit my whole fist in my mouth bull shit Can you bull shit my fist is the size of a baby skull Well, hey, can you fit all that? Matt that's not Yeah, you're definitely yeah, there'll be something about that But yeah, that's fair. There's yeah, but you don't have to do that, but that's pretty cool if you can do that There you go. Why don't you just well? How about if you want to see that sign up to Isla's only fans And she'll do that on the only fan I can yeah if you want to pay us some I don't know clunk clunk clang and then the clangs and the transfers Sorry, you can chip in there Some dudes would love that I reckon Um, oh, well, that's a pretty cool skill the domestic violence type of dudes and not many people can yeah true Now look not many people can do that Straight in Anyway, all right. Is there anything else that you'd like to add? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'd want um Look um Sass my body is your temple and you may touch me where you want Will you touch on me? Michael's showing me that he trusts me and he's showing me that he's open uh We're gonna be like knees I'm working my fingers up his thigh Have you done the pants or they just undone the whole way to his belly button a little That was fun and that is all that was fun. That was so fun. That's my turn Michael my body is like Feel free to do with me what you will Straight for the balls Fist okay, that was fun proceed I flat like a slab fly like a slab bag Oh Now we can't in all we can't you can't you not allowed to touch on a podcast map. No. Yeah, that's so just get that out of your head But you can see how helpful that is in a relationship. Oh, yeah, that did Yeah, now the barrier is down. There's the the the barriers are down. So this will help progress in future Well, I feel like we've made some real progress here today. I feel like you guys just force Isla to come on You know she's here See See this is the issue though. I'll imagine I wore these out on a date with you. Would that be embarrassing? Yes, okay So Matt check that doesn't think that any of these like it doesn't need to be immediately romantic Matt Isla just is you could just be friends You know, so why don't you just strive for that to begin with? Oh, they're pushing and see what happens. Yeah, I thought we are Yeah Fucking shake hands and look each other in the right. So we're fucking good good friends. We're good friends now Say that Matt Shake hands say we're good friends now. We're good friends now Very very good Matt. I feel like look I might have been a bit uncomfortable or touch uncomfortable Same here, he's getting better. Normally he's like this you've touched me a lot tonight Just putting that out there. Wow. He's got a lot more than a lot more than I was expecting She's just trying to like make you comfortable never sat close enough the walls are down. That's true We've never been on the couch together the walls are now down one last time. We're on the last final exercise Last final exercise and this is directly from maths From math Michael and I an intimacy challenge Oh, god, Michael and I will now spend 15 seconds staring into each other's eyes. I can do that. That's easy Really? Ready What scares you? You guys talk amongst yourselves It's actually hard. Oh, yeah 15 seconds is long. Oh, yeah, sorry. I didn't really think Michael looks like he's panicking Oh, man, that's actually quite hard. That was nice. I really felt the My heart rates up now. All right. It was sexual 15 seconds. I've got all this on three two one now He's nervous I'm sorry. This is what I hate. It would be better if I wasn't so sweaty Matt, you'd never say that Shit, I was solely ready for that. I thought it was oh, fuck. I was rooting for you man. I was rooting for you He's having a root for you, bruh Oh, look, it's not it's not deal breaker. I hate your friends. All right, let's just cut the shit real friends here Do we everyone's friends? That's what I looked away We're all friends And that's that Matt, we're all mates. Let's go watch the footy We got the footy. We're going on the fucking pub down the road Smoked meth Like mates do All right, well, thank you so much for coming on Ola. It's always an absolute pleasure Feel free to stay as long as you like or you want to do the q&a with us. Do you want to do q&a with us? Yeah, I want you to stay for the q&a So you can answer the questions that the fans have sent in and if you want us to answer your question Please comment your question on the money Michael fully actual podcast youtube channel and we answer the most liked questions first And yeah, this is the first one Man that would be so funny Question of the podcast from hunter height Will the boys come to america anytime soon for a tour of any kind? We would love to but we're not allowed in for some reason Yeah, apparently if you don't do something you're in LA travels Hopefully one day soon that will all change Next question brown Next question is from joey evans 8059 What? If you could fill the land of the brownie with any animals, which ones would you choose cowmen bears When we do have our own When we own the land that we Fill them out. We will have a llama. We will have pigs We will have Come on have an elephant. We will have horses a cat. Oh my god. We'll have cows, but we'll have keep the cows away from Marty We'll have goats. Oh, I can't wait to have goats We're gonna have a barn and i'm gonna sleep in the barn With the animals around me. I don't care if they shit I oh, I love them. I love them. What about is this was a question of your brown land this place we get the brown Yeah, yeah, not here because we we can't Cows and bears would be funny to watch for a while Cows and bears a huge amount of them both cows and bears would be a And then we just let them all go at once thousands of them thousands of bears at the back And tens of thousands of cows shoulder to shoulder in the front Anyway, okay. Yeah, we can do that. It's a dream of mine. Yeah, what about would you like some animals? What dogs if we already have two here? Yeah. Yeah, what is jack's going? He's great. I love he's how all these jacks now. There's only three. Yeah. Wow It's like literally great. Do you do you look after jack's now? No, this is my dad And he's because have you got an animal of yourself? No a pet I think he's asking you if you have a pet. No, but I had a rabbit before I moved up here Oh, what happened to it stew. I don't think you're like they're illegal in Queensland. Yeah, couldn't bring him What did they breed heaps or something? Well, it was just one so like he couldn't do anything Yeah, can't you get them castrated or something? Like you do with dogs. We they're not allowed in Queensland, but heaps people have them I'm all for it. I mean rabbits is so cute. Yeah All right, we will but we'll get one Illegally, yeah, so his name is snags. Snags because that's all he ate So you're a dog you're a dog person you get a dog if you If we ever got married, what type of dog would we get together? St. Bernard Okay, that's a cute dog. What would you what would you want? Probably like a chocolate lab What about st. Bernard lab cross? A binadler All right, next question is from milking stool Patrick Question for matt How much do you miss the milking stool on a scale of one to ten at the moment of fucking ten? That was probably the best chair Look at you now. You're very lucky. Yeah only because Isla's here Often if it wasn't yeah, yeah episode five you get a new chair by the way That's like two away after this one and the milking stool is behind Isla right now on the bookshelf We kept it says fully action on it. Thank you again for sending that we love it. It's beautiful. It's oh, it's below We'll show it to you at the end Um next question from Matt Sheehan. Can we have Marty's horoscope as well? Well, I'm a torus as well. So whatever your Michaels is you both tourists. Yeah, is that you are? No, yeah, he's what are you? What am I much? She's a Pisces. No. No, she's not. She's a I don't know Yeah, I fucked this up. She's a cancer. Oh, no, Matt She's stegosaurus Fuck I fucked this up. It's stegosaurus. It's the one before Pisces because you're in fed Oh, it's a cute cool word It's really easy to remember and I'm a fish and I in her aquarium. Oh, wow the fish in the aquarium That's how you remember it from now and you never ever forget it again. You understand? sorry Next question is from matt dawg 99. Marty, did you make up the brown versus Michael segment just an excuse to watch your mate's kiss? No, to be honest, I put a lot of thought into Constructing that and I want it to really test them Like I said mentally physically spiritually and emotionally and sexually and sexually I will cover all bases and we will see who the better man is by the end of this I'm three nil up. I love by the way in the matt versus michael competition and matt is just Whoever wins it gets to keep that Can I be involved? Who's that? Well, if matt wins he can he can you guys can like share it or whatever Put it in a cocktail Yeah Little margarita put a little shot of cum shots a little shot of cock juice in it Cock juice cocktail every morning a little Yeah, a little bit a little bit of a kick to get going. All right last question is from mike pies and gel 3543 where he's from um Do you think guys you'll take less time off at the end of this year? So do you think you'll take more time off so you can sorry less time off so you can do the podcast more? Yeah, maybe we should because the gap the gap was quite large the first couple of weeks was were feel you feel a bit Yeah, yeah, but it's also like fuck me We need to break it in the it's so body or maybe you're at the podcast Well, the podcast break was quite it's quite special I guess I guess we we could do a couple just like random ones, you know, like not not maybe one of you two weeks segments You know, yeah, probably that Yeah, we don't want to commit to too much because like we do like to go on holidays and Spend time with our families and just me and i'll me and i'll we'll just do the podcast with you guys are away Yeah, how about that everyone? I'll or a matt podcast. I'll or a matt until you get back Yeah, that could work came for that. Yeah, sweet. All right. Well, there you go No, I reckon we can do some more random ones over the break. So that that is possible. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry about that break Sorry, sorry. What would our podcast be called? Matla pillow talk Brown brown stain All right, we're moving right along to our second last segment. All right now Michael and that have very differing views in movies. What's good and what's not last week brown gave michael What was it star wars 3? Yeah, so so it was the what the sixth star wars. Okay. Let me break it down It was the third one ever made but it's number six in order Why would you start they start like they did or why would you so let me figure this out because I was looking at it in disney plus And I was reading him and the the first so you're saying the first ever star wars was called star wars new hope for I can't remember but Yeah, I don't know if they called it the fourth one at the start, but it's chronologically. It's chronologically. It's number four That's disgusting. It's fucking wrong. That's not good. And that's not a good start brown and that's on you Not only you made me didn't start from the fourth, which is the first apparently You made me go to six All right, so Michael Michael watched that it's like a seven hour movie and Michael watched it and here are Michael's movie reviews Okay Now let me put this into context for you Amber my partner she Fucking had to go help her sister because she was sick I was alone on saturday night and I knew if I didn't get this three hour film done That night I would never get it done because I couldn't put it off till last night because It was like two hours and 20 or half now two and a half hours That shit that is so I spent saturday night doing this and then I had to finish it off from one of the days this week and Oh my god, Matt Fuck you from the bottom of my heart Okay, I'm just gonna go through the notes how I've written them down just sort of write notes as I go okay That fucking gold robot can't see through here I would love to bash him I'm serious dude. I would love to see that fucking hit him so hard. Is he good at fighting? No, he's a robot That's exactly what I swear like oh like doing a posture Yeah, the the gold it's just a human in in a foil. It's you know It's the same guy from the Wizard of Oz tin man. Yeah the same actor. Yeah, what's the same thing? It's the same fucking thing I don't know if it's the same actor It should be though Anyway, okay, and now this is bullshit and Okay, there is a scene marty Where these stupid robots go to this big slug thing at the beginning and jump of the heart the whole They torture robots So they think that robots have feelings and can feel they have a scene where they're torturing robots like burning them Are they screaming? Yeah And they're robots dumb Stupid dumb Hey, that is dumb man. What the fuck is with them? It's real go back and watch it. Yes, they're confused. They burn the robots They pull the robots apart Like it's a part where they pull the robot apart, but it's not torture. They just destroy it No, they're screaming on the way to that pink part There is a scene where the first robot's getting lifted up and getting Oh, yeah, it's like it's like no, no, no, no. No. Yeah, I'm not sure Wow, you just killed some points there with Isla. No, I made a laugh Okay, Isla thinks my star wars thing is cute now. Yeah The sand battle was unbelievably bad So there is a scene where they take these on the hovercraft things stupid People to die in this little sand pit that this monster eats them, right? And There's a cape soldier. So they somehow get away Luke Skywalker. What a dumb name Somehow gets RTD to throws him a sword a lightsaber And fucking this stupid caped soldier bad guy instead of just picking him off with his rifle and killing him straight away Runs at him fucking jumps or flies over to him till he's two meters away Then goes to shoot him. Yeah, and then Luke does his dumb lightsaber thing Like like fucking lightsaving that and bullshit Yeah, and then somehow they get out of that. Oh my god, dude Really? Yeah, um, I want to bash Yoda Yoda is like an old man shut up. He is so annoying And just don't talk like that. Yeah, and also you're a puppet. You're a fucking puppet Okay, the my okay. I'll go into some positives now much anger in you my my favorite is the best part of the movie Was when they walked through the forest. I liked the forest setting Yeah, that's it. Do you like those little hover things they got in the forest the for the speed machines? No, the CGI. I like it. It's not CGI. They didn't have CGI back then. Whatever. It was just the whole thing is shit, dude What did they have back then? I'll be model drawings. We had IGC the drawings. Yeah Yeah, I like the trees. They're the trees were the best part of the movie for me The can't wait to talks about Ewoks. I know what's coming Darth Vader tells the emperor that he's this is what also a part I really liked in the movie There's a part where Darth Vader tells the emperor that he's felt his son Made me laugh. I liked that Little felt his son up little pedophile joking Subliminal pedophile messages for everyone to be watching back in the 80s. It was very good. I enjoyed it He's like I can sense my son is near. I felt you felt his presence. Yeah, it's fucking weird Okay, I also I want to bash Chewbacca That fucking thing annoys me And it's also okay, Marty. This is the most fucked thing and this is why it's like so backwards So, you know when you watch a foreign film There's subtitles. Oh And which is like you don't watch a film to read it. No, but this is so fucked It's a foreign film, but for no nation Because all the bullshit is made up languages So they go And then subtitle and there's no sub no, there's not even subtitle There's the English there's the there's the like the I don't know Han Solo goes to Chewbacca Yes, I know what you mean, mate. Yeah, the the room's full or whatever fucking. Yeah, we need to get on the ship And they oh dude So you're watching a film that is meant to be a foreign film But it's a it's a foreign film for no nation It's a fuck so it's kind of like us ask how we make noises and then give you space and then putting that in a movie Yeah, yeah, we never we never do movies. We don't do movies though We might one day, but if we did make a movie we put subtitles on it Exactly, mate, we would put subtitles Subtitle that Connor. Okay Now and Connor Connor will be loving this because he's a fan of this shit, too Now the whole force thing can get fucked It's kind of like the secret though, right? You want something bad enough. It happens. It's this stupid. It's the secret It's dumb and now um when All right, when princess laia finds out she's luke's sister and says I know Somehow I've always known Fuck off. Don't say that You can't say I know and then like badly. I've somehow I've always known like stupid bitch This summer. Yeah, it just made me want to Yeah, it made me want to bash you matt not her you Does it spoil alert in in the one of the earlier films that actually make Oh, wow. Well, there you go incest It's an incest shit And okay, I'm I'm pretty certain by the way also that princess laia was molested Either in the film or went just outside in normal life You can see it in her eyes. She's got a famous mum. Like she's she's been in hollywood food since she was a kid There you go. Yeah, I just confirmed that So, yeah, I'm like, I'm pretty certain that I'm that you could be right about yeah. Well, yeah, I'm pretty certain I want to bash the emperor just and just by the end of it the emperor And how Darth Vader throws him off fuck off like oh dude, you would honestly Yeah, I'm never I hate you for this man watching it Um, the furby the whole furby war scene just further confirms my hatred for action Like it just further confirms my hatred for action films. So you call the e-box furbies. Yeah, they are Stupid furbies. That's how that that yeah now wait. What about the scene where I was like they all blow their trumpets Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Okay. So this is what I mean When in history matt has a bow and arrow ever defeated a gun Never never it's surely in like the Indian time. Shut up. No, we'll look the Look This yeah, they the stupid snowmen those fucking white snowmen things White snowmen. They have armor on them. Oh the stormtroopers. Yep. They have armor on them How the fuck does an arrow kill them and these furbies are like this big dude? Oh, really? Yeah, it's fucked They're that big little dwarf size ones and they they come there with their spears and go Or they shoot these stupid bow and arrows that launch rocks at them Oh my god That yeah, dude, and they beat these massive robot machine shooting lasers and these stupid like snow people the snowmen Fucking dumb. And yes, and um The last part. This is it. It was just when Darth Vader took his helmet off. I wanted to bash He's dying What about the trumpets they all blow their trumpets to go to war sends me a message That was one of the that's one of the I was always sending him hate. I couldn't help it I was just going off at him. He was sending me like fuck you every now and then and I was like, what's and I was like What's wrong? He sends a message like have they blown the trumpet yet? That really brings like Up lifts my spirits like fucking. Oh, so what do you give it out of 10? That is a Can I go minus? Yeah He's a minus Nine minus nine what Matt, what do you give it out of 10? 10 Nine and a half. Wow So to combine it's not perfect, but it's a good film. All right. So Matt, what do you give him to watch this week? well Well I have a feeling you might have seen this already, but I'm gonna throw it out there anyway Um, I want you to watch the first back to the future film Because that is all no bullshit to side making watch the last Well, no, I was going to but then it's in setting the wet is setting the old west and he likes westerns So I can't go there. Oh shit. You said that didn't you like I might have seen one of these when I was a kid But I can't remember see I was gonna be mean and do number two because then it would make no sense But then I was like I've already done that joke Back to the future one Okay All right, and that is Michael's movies reviews everyone All right to finish the podcast It's prank call time or I found a um hair in more fucking peanut butter come Come on. Hello. Welcome to the consumer inquiry center. This is mark speaking. Can we help you this evening? There you go, bro Look, I don't know how to say this rot. Um, I've gone down a shop's board. Um, one of your um peanut butter The smooth the smooth one, right? Um, and I've opened it up like just to not Um, and there is actually a hair in the top of it like one single hair, but like Like that's just like it fucks the whole jar. Do you know what I mean? Like I can't I can't just rip that out because that hair like more to go done swirl around the a lot of it And that so, um, yeah, I don't know what you do what protocol and that is but like, yeah, I can't eat it And all right, all right. I'm not going back to the shops on that Um, I'll go just get up in the morning and go to work and that but um, so I was just thinking of years like send like a palette of um Paying a butter or something or give you me a dress and we can fuck sweet sweep down on the rug and that Unfortunately, we can't send on through replacement pallets, but we can Take down your issue here and then log it on through one of our teams to get back in touch deal with How long was all that going to take in that because like I was just after like a bit of peanut butter and cheese on the toasty and like Now I'm like sitting here starting on that like there's there's massive hair in me Jar And like now I've got to go walk so through some processes and that like don't you don't you think that's a bit hard done boy I'm a bit hard done boy Yeah, unfortunately, but we just want to get back in touch with you there to help you out Yeah, your best contact number. No, it's that's the one i'm calling off right now Uh, I can't see it here on my end, but um, I was me falling on private isn't it? No numbers a4 a5 Yep, a4 Yep, nine five Yes, six two So that was zero four zero four zero four nine five six two. Yeah, that's it, mate. Yeah Just want to be sure And your first one last name, please. Well first name down Thompson and Thompson is th I am P s I am And do you have an email address as well? um, oh I did from law high school and that um Uh, uh, just want that one look. I haven't logged in in that for a couple months, but I'll just give you my high school one Probably best to give you like a current one you use. Yeah. No, that's that's the one That's the only one I've ever had look. I haven't like updated on that, but it still works. Yeah. So it's a down Yeah, dot six nine Yeah, six nine And it's kind of embarrassing, but uh, b l o w blow Yep jobs For ever and four is a just the number four and then ever eva at hotmail. They'll call I should probably change So just to confirm that was uh, darin dot 69 69 or just one 69 No, no two 69s. Oh, yeah, that was already taken the first just one 69 to go to Oh, yeah, and that was blow job or blow job. So jobs jobs jobs with and the s is a z so blow jobs Okay, for ever and then the number four and then ever eva At hot at hotmail.com Hotmail, okay So Okay, hotmail.com. Yeah, hotmail.com. Yeah yeah And how many grams was this a peanut butter was the smooth variety probably weighs like Maybe like I don't know like half kilo or something Yeah I don't know though. Like I don't I don't I can go put her on the scale. Oh, hang on. It says it on here Hang on seven seven eighty grams seven eighty grams. Yeah He says e in front of it. I don't know what that means It says e seven eighty grams and yeah peanut butter smooth And it says here never oily, right never draw Yeah, so there we go Let's make sure about that one He's kind of oily, but like if you touch it it's a bit oily No, it's just a little bit of a thing and I make sure it's consistent. Yeah, no, it's a bit oily, but like I'm just touching it now It's like yeah, I don't know. Maybe yeah, maybe the hair maybe the hair might have been oily or something All right So do you send through like um refund and that or do you just send through like Free like samples and that because like I could go crunchy too. I love I love the crunchy ones On me tasting the mornings and the little fella little fella We're gonna have one of our team get back in touch with you with the Right, right, right. I see what you're saying. So look So look we we note out the details here and then like one of your team members calls me back Later on and we sort of figure out like we come to look a agreement and that and we sort of like Like on a lock Lawyers meeting up trying to like settle a case or something like that and then we's both Come up with something that we're happy with And then you send through the power to paying our butter in that Sort of Um, what was the best before used by Dave on the peanut butter there? Let me have a walkie. Um, where's it say that? Where's it say that oh, yeah best before right 16th I Uj August so at 23 and that's got the letter C at the end of it And then underneath it's got six o'clock. So zero six then two dots then and then zero zero So six o'clock so six o'clock on the 16th of august, right? It's off Okay And here we go I'm so fucking hungry, mate. It's like it's already calling that like I feel like I'm being like a nuisance and that but like Do you know what I mean? Like I'm just trying to like have like tea in that and like, you know, like I'm here sitting with my family in that Look, just trying to get like some paint butter cheese tastes. He's gone round that and like I do I bought like lots of your like stuff like I bought lots of ball. Do you know what I mean? And like do you know what I mean? It's just a bit sad. Like I've been out in a big hair coming out I'm like, oh, what the fuck like and then like I gotta see like I mean little fella I was gotta say like like you gotta have like something else now But you know and he's like, you know, he's bloody only three years. Oh, he doesn't get it He thinks oh, just give me the give me the thing about dad. He's saying that I'm like, I can't you know, it's got here. Who knows who's here. That is could be someone with like um Like some like hair disease that look like a loss in that look lost guys around like nothing yeah, yeah And there's got like some other other shit underneath it, but like, you know look nothing You don't need to like rod all down. It's like like who cares? You know what I mean? It's like Found that a hair along the top or The hair's like or it starts like mostly embedded like in the smooth lock open it like it's like At first I thought it was like maybe like eyelash or something But then I grabbed the little fucking thing and I started pulling rot And this big long fucking lock it must be lock I would say it's say it's like maybe For what's that maybe three inches four inches long, right big black black thing right, so uh, it It's not it's curly, but it's not like pubic hair curly and it's far too long to be pubic hair So I'm not worried about that right so you can write that down write that down. It's not pubic hair I'm I'm certain that that's head hair So it must just been mistake right at the at the bigger at the At the peanut place where they mush it all up in that One of the birds mustn't have put a lock hair in it or something and it's just falling in one hair, right? and Fucking darren's darren's fucking ended up with a fucking jar of it and uh Go what color like was the hair? Like black like dark black like a black side black it's like It's like it steals light from the room like everyone was a bit darker like I pulled it out and I swear like the lights like Flicking that, you know, it's like kind of a bit scary Give me the fuck she was just thinking about I threw it starting to bend just but I can get it out If you need me to mate I can get it out take a couple fire eyes of it Right because I still gotta be a peanut butter on it, right so prove that it was if you can like um Right like um, right, right, right. We can yeah, but like uh, okay. No, I mean they can right have that Sort of verify no worries, right So I'll go pick that out and I'll put that in one of my little gladder out bags And I'll set that side and I'll take a couple of photos now. How do I send that too? How do you want me to send that to your uh, what was the postal address? Like my home address Yeah, postal is that so you can send me the um, we'll send you on through a faithful letter so you can put it in there and Send it on like to the post office and it'll send it on back to us for pay for How long's all this gonna take but look because look I'm all gonna have to go to the do you reckon I'm gonna have to go to the shops just buy another one until I get my new one Unfortunately Fuck mate. See that's where it's like Like I don't get it, mate. Look because like you's done the fuck up right and I'm sitting here like Fucking holding the fucking hair. That's like looks like it's fucking stealing my soul And now I've got to go to the shops like that's more time At a more at a more at a more personal day that I've got to go down and shop skiing get Get enough now another job, bro. It's like do you know what I mean? So look shortly when we have a chat like sit down with the lawyers and that like we can uh, take that into consideration that all like had to go twice to the shops And that the hair was like So nasty. I couldn't even shout to my son. Don't touch your hair down. Leave it in that Leave it in the bend down. Don't touch it. Don't even look at it. Don't even look at it. Seriously. No, I'm not I'm not joking. Don't look at it. Take kade to bed. Take kade to bed. I don't want him around it So I'll put this on through that to our team for like further investigation. We'll send you on through a people Letter so you can put it within them But our team will be sure to get back in touch with you with correspondence about how we can Recompend to you for the damages there. Can I just get like a guarantee like what's your name mark, right? Yes, so mark. He's got a family in that Yes, yeah, so look man a man look family man family man Can I just get like some kind of confirmation that I will be financially Uh benefit from from this look some kind of compensation here mate because look I'm running around look. I don't have time. I don't have time Like I've done work and massive day, right and we gotta have each other's back mark You we gotta have each other back here. You stay loyal to me or stay loyal the year, right? That's that's That's how boys work, right? That's how we dealt in Australia, right? So you and me we stick together and you make sure I scratch my back and you scratch your back. That's your thing Yeah, our team will be back in touch with you as soon as possible. In fact, uh, you can get updates on How it's going with your reference number here or you are my brother mark seriously You I appreciate this mark seriously if you've just you've just helped me look since you gave me a little confirmation there Look, I can see if we get this over the line mark your blood. You are my blood You're running through more veins right now as Austin here as a man open and upright You and me are together now, brother. You and I are kindred souls Come so I want you to know that happy to hear Of yep, your reference number this call is or case number I should say Do I have to write this one down mark or what do you want me to write that down? Um, it's best to write it down, but uh, I don't have a pen. Just let me just carve it into my arm. I've got a little forky Hang on All right, I don't have a pen. I'm just gonna have to yeah, just scratch it into my arm. All right. What is it? That was a two three two Nine one five t three t Nine one five nine One Okay two three two nine one four. I've got it. Fuck yeah Or mark look like I said, bro We threw this to the end brother and I will say to them if they call me I'll say mark guaranteed That I'll get cash and free peanut butter And then I'll get get them that reference number Yeah, uh, I think we'll be sure to get back and touch of it may take a couple of days So sorry for that delay there, but mark you back in touch as soon as I'll be blowing up if it was anyone but you mark Honestly, look you've traded me with such respect Right now and look Look, you've really calmed me down. They always like I was ready to blow like I've pulled that hair out and look the look in Me son's eyes. I was like I was ready to fucking like get staunching that and like, you know Get real get real rowdy, but he's coming down. So I appreciate that and like you and I have respect and my wife will be fine yeah So we'll be sure to help you out there and Sorry for any delays and one of our teamers back in touch with you mostly via email So keep an eye out on that but if they don't hear anything back from email, they'll try and call That's probably beautiful, mate. We try and keep our correspondent there to see what we can do to help you What a beautiful country we're leaving mate. Seriously. Thank god Thank god that you and I live here in this beautiful country and under the southern cross as I say it here right now True true blue from the bottom of my heart and soul can't oh you are my fucking blood And I'll mean it brother. Thank you so much mark. Thank you so much. Seriously. I'm fucking choking up nearly brother Anything else I can do to help you today? No, mate, that's all my but you know, she's out come through brezzy Let us know brah because I'll I'll I'll share your beer and that and mate Fuck it. Oh, we'll even I'll even share your fucking pain about a sandwich, brother Good to hear I'm and have a lovely day. All right, bro. You are my blood. I'll love you to death, bro See you later You too, bro Tim That's just for you Oh my god Oh my god I can listen to that shit all day. Yeah, I can't believe you got him to repeat the Great to hear You were kindred spirits great to hear Oh my god, dude. Oh mark mark mark. That was so lovely. I fucking love darin. Hey, yeah, darin is a he's a special Soft spot in my in my heart. You know, all right, everyone That's the end of episode number three. I really hope you enjoyed it Don't forget to like comment subscribe and give us a five star review on spotify you scoundrels We'll see dogs next week because we're the best with the best with the best with the best with the best That's where the best with the best all is the best where the thanks are all the best. Thank you so much our friends. Thanks guys That was nice