 I think I had a curiosity about this world like a lot of people do because I think I remember hearing people tell me God is all-knowing and all-loving and all-powerful. That sounds cool. That's really cool. And then like everyone I went through experiences and perceived things like my grandfather being diagnosed with cancer and kind of dwindling down to a walking skeleton from a very large happy man like Santa Claus to a walking skeleton who can hardly just feel a little bit of skin on the skeleton. I was like my perception of chemotherapy and losing his hair and pain and that's just one example among many things where I reached a point where I said to myself, there's something fishy about this world but I don't know what it is. Everybody seems to be playing the emperor has no clothes on. God is all-love, God is love, God is love, God is love, God is love. All-knowing, all-powerful, inefficent, wonderful. So there's a contradiction. Where do we go with pain and suffering and conflict and war? God is love. So I think that I kind of got taken down into my mind where I got quite stirred up when I watched my grandfather get strapped up like an animal at the end of his life. And put in like a straight jacket because he was going through so much in the hospital and it was quite an intense scene to watch. I remember I kind of went home that night and the last time I saw my grandfather and I was like the shootout at the okayed-for-route, God and David. How could you let that happen? How could you have anything to do with what my eyes saw when I perceived in the hospital when I had a real deep thing? There's really this sense of, oh my beloved, I have nothing to do with what you perceive. You're looking through a darkened glass and you've got a problem going on. And the spirit was like saying, I'll help you if you're willing. So that kind of lashed me into esoteric writings and philosophies, psychology, all kinds of deep, deep searching and ponderings. And then it seemed like during those ponderings I would have this intuitive something right in the core of my chest. It was like somebody had to tickle a little feather and they were tickling on the inside of my heart. Whenever I would read a book or hear a song or something, there was this tickling going on that I was aware wasn't intellectual at all. It wasn't a theory or anything. It was this intense experience that even though I was in ten years of university and I was very well read and did much searching, the tickle was very intense at certain times. In that sense it was like that was my touchstone, that was my inroads to spirituality. Follow the tickle. A simple, follow the tickle. And then the tickle led me through humanistic psychology and transperson psychology. It led me to that book, it's back on the table back there, the one with the sparkly reflections on it called A Course in Miracles. And when I opened up that book it was as if I had waved like a giant tsunami of love just washing over me. And it was this feeling like my life would never be the same and it was a self-study book so well that's good. It was one form of the universal curriculum that there were thousands of pathways to God. Well that's a good start. Picked up a book that doesn't say it's the only way. Thank God. There's a little bit of open-mindedness there. But it did say that it was a required course and that free will meant that I could not establish the curriculum but only the time I take it was voluntary. So I thought, well it's saying it's a pathway to God and if I'm choosing to really give myself over to it then I just might arrive at the destination. And it said the same thing that Jesus said 2000 years ago. The kingdom of heaven is within you. Don't look outside yourself to try to find the truth. You've got it. You've got the answer. It's just buried onto a bunch of judgments and grievances and so forth. And I said okay. So when I started working with the Course of Miracles the tickle, oh it would not stop. It was like I was just kind of lifted up by the tickle and it moved me so deeply that I thought well one thing's for sure I'm going to give myself over to this pathway that has dropped in my lap. Because I want to be happy. I want to know joy. I want to know happiness. I want to know everlasting life. And I was quite, I was raised in Christianity. I was very well versed in Buddhism and Hinduism and many different philosophies. But I'm ready for the experience. I'm not ready for comparative religion here or becoming a philosophy teacher. I want happiness, joy, love. So I poured myself into it for about 8 hours a day and even when I would get into ego resistance my eyelids would get real heavy. Like I had little lead weights that were on. I would read the book for hours of time and then the lead weights would come down like no more. Stop this. Stop. Shut down. Shut down. And so I would just go within and the boys would say take a nap. Have a snack. Have an apple. Go for a walk. Go for a swim. Very loving. Just ease up on yourself. Don't push it. Don't force it. Be soft. Be gentle. So I would. And then I'd come back and ask a question in my mind. I'd pop the book open. The answer was right there every time I'd pop the book open to exactly what I asked. But I was so excited with the answer I would read on until my eyes would be heavy again. So I would average about 8 hours a day. That's about a lot. I could handle. The ego could handle was about 8 hours a day. And then after about two and a half years an interesting thing started happening. I heard the voice of Jesus speaking to me in my mind in conversational tones and directing my every move. Talk about an easy life. Go here. Go there. Oh, you forgot your keys. Pump on the gasp. That's good. That'll start the car. Don't forget to pump the gasp. This is the most tiny little things. Turn around. Look over there. Call so and so. Don't forget the numbers this. No, I said 7-7-4. It was like, you can imagine if you had the voice of Jesus in your mind whispering to you and guiding and directing your every step. Well, life could get pretty easy. Especially if you had, we'll call it the master psychologist. One who had gone through the temptations of the world and come out through the keyhole and basically said, oh, really, it's all good. And be of good cheer for I've overcome the world, the ego thinking of the world. The world's your friend when you're friendly. It's just a matter of learning how to forgive and be truly friendly. Then the world becomes your friend.